Connecting With Your Kids During Christmas: The Best Gift You Can Give

The True Gifts of Christmas

In this episode of the Home and Marriage Podcast, Lennon and Christal Noland discuss the importance of spending quality time with family, especially during the holidays. They reflect on past Christmas memories and the shift from shopping for toys to more meaningful family moments. The Nolands emphasize three key non-material gifts you can give your children: quality time, sharing your faith, and maintaining a peaceful and joyful demeanor as parents. They also touch on the significance of keeping Christ at the center of Christmas celebrations. The episode concludes with a reminder that the best holiday memories often come from the intangible moments spent together as a family.

00:00 Introduction and Family Time Reflection
00:28 Welcome to the Home and Marriage Podcast
00:49 Christmas Countdown and Shopping Adventures
01:33 Nostalgic Christmas Memories
06:49 The Best Gifts for Kids at Christmas
07:50 The Gift of Time
15:48 The Gift of Faith
19:55 The Gift of Peaceful Parents
24:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Lennon: 0:02

She was sitting on the couch in the living room, said Mom and dad. Hey, I saw this statistic that 90% of the time you'll ever spend with your parents happens before you turn 18. Ugh. I know es

Christal: 0:13

my heart.

Lennon: 0:13

I know. Why don't you just come over here and stab me, daughter.

Christal: 0:16

Right. So I, I mean, you know, not to be all sad and weepy and stuff, but. I think it's good for us to get a little bit of an idea that, hey, this is not forever, and the stage they're in right now is not forever.

Lennon: 0:31

This is the Home and Marriage Podcast with Lennon and Christal Noland, where we help couples become better at home and stronger together. We're husband and wife, parents and ministers who want God's best for our home and for yours. Friends, thank you so much for being with us today. It is the countdown to the most wonderful day of the year, my boo, we have 12 days, as you pointed out this morning, 12 days until Christmas.

Christal: 0:59

I know, I cannot believe it. So if you haven't gotten your Christmas shopping done. You gotta do it by now.

Lennon: 1:06

Yeah. My goal is this year not to be in TJ Maxx on December 23rd or 24th. Yeah, I'm gonna go to TJ Maxx before then.

Christal: 1:15

Good. And find all the

Lennon: 1:16

good stuff.

Christal: 1:17

Well, I went to TJ Maxx yesterday, speaking of that, and it was crowded. All the older ladies were out that day. I think they were trying to beat The rush of the weekend, Christmas frenzy, you know, so, yeah. But it was crowded and those lines were already long.

Lennon: 1:33

Yeah. I feel like our shopping is so much different than it used to be. For instance, you're at TJ Maxx looking for things that will jive with our teenage girls, or looking for a new item of clothing for our son. It's pretty different than the days of shopping for toys.

Christal: 1:49

Well, you know, when we were younger and the kids were little. Our budget was more on the Ross end. Okay. So we have graduated to TJ Maxx. That's right. Also to, that's we've

Lennon: 2:01

moved up baby

Christal: 2:02

to the departments. Now, I shop in the. Makeup and body stuff, and the, I know what the girls like for certain products there, but yeah, we, I used to be in Ross shopping for those toys that I could get 50% cheaper than at Walmart or somewhere else. It's a pretty cool deal.

Lennon: 2:20

Now you're, you're feeling a little sentimental about that transition too. You, you were saying. Earlier this week that you kind of missed the, you missed the toys shopping.

Christal: 2:32

I do. I loved shopping for toys for the kids for Christmas. I don't know, I think it brought back the kid and me, and so I just miss going up and down those target aisles or wherever. Just, just looking at the toys and thinking, oh, they're gonna love this. This would be cool. I would love to play this with them. This would be so fun. Like I really do miss that. But hey, one day. Grandkids will come and I'll get to experience a little of that again.

Lennon: 2:58

It's gonna happen. Do you think that by the time grandkids come, like Elmo will still be a big deal?

Christal: 3:05

I think so.

Lennon: 3:05

Is Elmo still a big deal?

Christal: 3:07

I, I think so. I mean, I'm not in that world anymore watching Sesame Street, but Sesame Street still going. I think Elmo's still a thing. I mean, it's been around forever. My younger brother, when he was a kid, I mean this is like. Many years ago. Elmo was huge then, so I don't know. We'll see. We'll have to see.

Lennon: 3:26

I remember our oldest daughter's second Christmas and Elmo. Elmo, was it? Oh yeah. And I can still picture her. We got her an Elmo, DVD, and she's opening the gift and she tears it. And I'll never forget the wrapping paper tore across Elmo's face. So you just saw his little joyous redhead looking through the paper and she just. Fists clenched with so much joy. Yells Elmo. It was so, it was so over the top.

Christal: 3:55

Yeah. He's like a movie star to her.

Lennon: 3:57

He was a movie star, but do you remember the other Elmo gift?

Christal: 4:00

Yeah.

Lennon: 4:00

You know, grandparents, you know their budgets may be limited whenever they're raising us.

Christal: 4:05

Mm-hmm.

Lennon: 4:06

As mom and dad, but they will go outta their way for the grandkids.

Christal: 4:10

Right.

Lennon: 4:10

And so that was the year that Elmo live. Like a, I don't know if you'd quite call it a little robot. That's what it seemed like. A little robot Elmo.

Christal: 4:17

Right.

Lennon: 4:18

And so he had bought that for her. We planned a big reveal. We turned on the power button, opened a door, and Elmo almost as tall as our little girl was at this point. Comes walking out of the room talking and she lost her mind, but not in joy.

Christal: 4:33

Not in a good way.

Lennon: 4:34

Absolute terror.

Christal: 4:36

Uh, she was freaking out. I think that thing was just. Too real for her. Yeah. She didn't know what to do. Yeah. Good, good memory there. So one of the memories I have of, gifts. You know, giving kids these gifts. And I remember this one night that you and I stayed up super late, well past midnight, putting together IKEA toys. Do you remember that? Yes. The IKEA kitchen, yes. That you put together. And I just wanna tell our listeners, in our relationship, the person who enjoys that kind of thing is not you. It's me.

Lennon: 5:11

It is. I

Christal: 5:11

put together the IKEA furniture usually,

Lennon: 5:13

and the person who is competent. At is not me. It's you.

Christal: 5:18

Well, I, well, it's just it. It's definitely not, we're not the stereotype couple with that I love putting together stuff and furniture and so I just remember you putting together that kitchen and how. You probably wanted to say some words that you didn't need to say I did because it, I think you put together part of it and it was wrong and you had to redo it. I did. Okay. Do you remember though, the reaction of our kids that morning? Of course we had babies and then we had our oldest who was like three or four, and she saw that kitchen But didn't register what it really was.

Lennon: 5:52

No. No. And she starts playing with other things she's really excited about. And we're saying, honey look, honey look pointing at the big kitchen. Yeah. And she finally looks up and sees it and she's like, cool.

Christal: 6:06

Yeah. She just turns around to her other little toys that were just kind of like the cheaper little I made a doll. A doll bed blanket and pillow. And she loved that. She didn't even look at the kitchen hardly.

Lennon: 6:20

No, she didn't. She didn't.

Christal: 6:22

It's crazy how you think, man, we're gonna make this Christmas amazing. We're gonna spend this money maybe more than we did before. We're gonna spend all this time making furniture maybe, or toys and. It doesn't go quite the way you planned.

Lennon: 6:38

It doesn't go quite the way we planned. And then as we talked about last week, sometimes we can put so much pressure on ourselves to do things for the holidays that aren't the important things. And so that's really what we want to talk about today is with kids and Christmas, what are the best gifts that we can give? We really wanna talk about three of them. And as you might guess, friends, these are not things that you can, that you need to buy. And so take encouragement from that. But also I hope that you'll, I hope that you'll really do us the honor of giving us a listen here because what we're going to tell you, uh, this is a big deal.

Christal: 7:16

Yeah, it really is a big deal, and if you started listening to the podcast, looking for the top gifts this year for your kids, this is not where it, where it is. So we are gonna talk about gifts that last, they're not just a in the moment Christmas 2025 making this thing awesome. This is gonna last for years to come.

Lennon: 7:38

So the first gift that we have, you can give this no matter how much you have in the bank account as far as money goes. And yet this is a resource that is not renewable. You are losing it day by day. we want you to give your kids the gift of time. That is what they need most and, and really what they will remember most and want most from you is the time that you have to slow down and to be with them.

Christal: 8:03

Exactly. Some of my favorite Christmas memories are really the times we just are together, whether we're laughing about something, drinking some hot cocoa. Telling stories. I mean, really that is the best part of Christmas because time off of school, you know, usually schools are done, work usually keeps going, but sometimes you might have a Christmas break for work. It's a gift really to you to get to be together. Right.

Lennon: 8:32

It doesn't always feel like a gift. I think sometimes in our minds, unless we're really conscious of like, this is where the good stuff is. You know that song, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Mm-hmm. Very famously, one of the verses says, and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. Yeah. Remember that verse? Yeah. That I just, that sounded great, didn't it?

Christal: 8:53

You were in tune, honey.

Lennon: 8:54

I was really,

Christal: 8:55

you might've been a little flat, but mostly in tune.

Lennon: 8:57

Standard, typical Lennon. But no, there, there can be this deal where we just want things to get back to normal. Let's get these kids back to school. Let's go back to work. But these moments of being around the house together and having time, all these things will go away.

Christal: 9:13

Yeah.

Lennon: 9:13

Like the kids won't be at home forever.

Christal: 9:16

Right. And

Lennon: 9:16

we won't always have the opportunities to make these moments count.

Christal: 9:20

Yeah. You have to be intentional. I think that's the key word, is be intentional with your time. Create moments where you are definitely gonna be focused in on hanging out with the kids or be there for them. You don't have like a million things planned in that moment, but you're setting aside your time to be with them. And we know we have, our oldest is about to go to college. Next year

Lennon: 9:42

we are very aware of the clock. Right now it's,

Christal: 9:44

yeah, it's even more, I feel like more right in front of us that we can see, whoa, this is, this is ending soon. She even gave us statistic to us the other day. Do you remember that? Yes. Statistic. About 90% of your time with your parents is before age 18. Is that, is that correct?

Lennon: 10:07

Yeah. She said that yesterday she was sitting on the couch in the living room, said Mom and dad. Hey, I saw this statistic that 90% of the time you'll ever spend with your parents happens before you turn 18. Ugh. I know es

Christal: 10:18

my heart.

Lennon: 10:19

I know. Why don't you just come over here and stab me, daughter.

Christal: 10:22

Right. So I, I mean, you know, not to be all sad and weepy and stuff, but. I think it's good for us to get a little bit of an idea that, hey, this is not forever, and the stage they're in right now is not forever. So if you have kids that are in the preschool age or the baby stage or whatever, it's just not gonna be there forever. And so. Not to, not to put a guilt trip on anybody, but I do think it's important that we set aside our time and our attention to be connected with them.

Lennon: 10:52

One of my favorite verses comes from Psalm chapter 90, where it says, teach us to number our days carefully so that we can develop wisdom in our hearts. If we're not aware that the time we have with our kids is passing, we won't use it wisely. So slow down, spend the time with your kids, find excuses to do it. What are some of your favorite ways to spend time with the kids around the holidays?

Christal: 11:15

I really like to get a puzzle going. Not everybody in our family are puzzle people, but I have a couple that will come around and do the puzzle with me. It's just an excuse to sit and do something together. We usually have coffee or hot cocoa. I love that it's simple, but it's really fun. One of our kids loves baking. I am not a big baker person, but she loves it and I will encourage her, buy her supplies, hang out with her in a, in the kitchen while she's baking. But you know, maybe mom or dad, you guys wanna start cooking something or baking something so the kitchen can be a great place to spend some time together. What about you? Anything that sticks out in your mind that you really love

Lennon: 11:56

I love the movie nights that we have around Christmas very specifically. We, we kicked off the season with Elf the other night. Yeah. Didn't make it all the way through, but we kicked it off with, with Elf. We've mentioned before on another episode. I think that we love the Christmas Carol, the Jim Carrey version. We have that coming up. Like those are the things that I think are important one of the things every family has to fight. Though, I realize I'm talking about movies, so that is a screen, but at at least a movie is sharing a screen together.

Christal: 12:28

Yeah.

Lennon: 12:28

Being in a moment together. One of the things that can really squander time is if we're all in the same proximity, scrolling our phones.

Christal: 12:36

Oh, right. If we're doing that,

Lennon: 12:37

we're missing a moment.

Christal: 12:39

We can be so guilty of that. I mean, I found myself do that when we're just hanging out, getting on our phone because our teenagers have phones too. They do. And so. If we're doing it, they're gonna be doing it. But if we say, Hey, what if we put the phones down for this time? Let's play a game together. Let's put our, our phones down for that,

Lennon: 12:56

yeah. If that's gonna happen, it's, it's gonna be because we as mom and dad initiate it.

Christal: 13:01

Yeah.

Lennon: 13:02

Your kids are not gonna say, Hey, I'd like to sit the iPad down and connect with you. But they, and yet if you're saying you wanna spend time with them, they're very aware of if your, if your attention is there or not.

Christal: 13:14

Right?

Lennon: 13:15

We have a friend, Carrie, do you remember this story where, when her son was was small, he's chatting her up and mom this, mom that talking and talking and she's going on about her business and she's listening and doing stuff the same time, just kind of uhhuh. That's good. And finally he stops and goes, really? Listen mommy. I need to see your eyes.

Christal: 13:37

Hmm. Yeah.

Lennon: 13:37

She was in the room with him, but he knew if, if her focus was on him or if it was divided.

Christal: 13:45

Right.

Lennon: 13:46

Holidays provide an opportunity for focus.

Christal: 13:50

Yeah, they really do. We wanna be present, uh, emotionally with our kids, not just physically there. And so that quality of time is important, not just that you're sitting near each other. That's great. But I think it's that quality element where you are really focused and you're really there and you're present. Like we said earlier, I think the phone or the devices are the biggest distraction in our day right now. We didn't have that growing up, so if you can put that aside for a while, I really think that helps us, be able to focus in on one another and spend that time together and giving them the gift of time.

Lennon: 14:29

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Christal: 15:47

So let's go onto the second one. The second gift is the gift of our faith.

Lennon: 15:52

Yeah, that's right. Everybody knows this saying Jesus is the what for the season.

Christal: 15:58

Oh, the reason for the season. Yeah.

Lennon: 15:59

Jesus is the reason for the season, but that is something that we need to model for our kids. Otherwise, we'll be busy and we'll be doing good stuff, but Jesus won't be anywhere to be found in Christmas. Kids are kids and they're gonna be excited about what they're excited about. It's up to us as parents to turn their attention where it needs to be, and let's have fun with presence. Let's watch the movie. But let's not forget what is happening here at Christmas. We are celebrating the entrance of God into the world and so, don't overlook that. And I would go so far as to say this. Sometimes we, we give all the magic to Santa.

Christal: 16:44

Yeah.

Lennon: 16:45

Instead of to Jesus. Now we did Santa, we loved Santa. I mean, our kind of principle was we'll do Santa until we have to lie.

Christal: 16:55

I remember our oldest when she started to figure some stuff out and she would say, well, what about this mom? And it got too similar to the powers that God has being omnipresent, all this stuff, you know, and always sees you

Lennon: 17:07

when you're sleeping. Yeah. Knows when you're awake.

Christal: 17:09

Yeah. So we did enjoy Santa for a while, but there came a point where I felt like, okay, we've gotta let you know the truth because you're getting a little too smart for this and we can't equate this with God and how great and real he is. Right. You know, the Santa thing is partly real. There was a guy, St. Nicholas, who did this and that. Yeah. But yeah, so there came that point where it was just better to say, this is the truth of Santa. But yeah, Santa can't be on the same level as Jesus for sure.

Lennon: 17:43

No, no. But he will be unless we talk about Jesus. Yeah. More than we. More than we talk about Santa.

Christal: 17:49

That's good.

Lennon: 17:50

And so one of the ways that we can do this, there's a number of ways that we can do it. I mean, if you have a little nativity. In your nativity scene in your house or in your community, take your children to see that. Talk about that. What must that have? What must that have been like? I mean, can you imagine that incorporate the Christian, Christmas carols into the songs that you sing for Christmas? Those are things that matter.

Christal: 18:17

Yeah. I've seen those. Nativity sets that you can get that are like wooden blocks for little kids too, and you can set that up in your home and it's like a toy. They can play with it, and you can talk about who the people are in the nativity set. They can play with it, but they can also learn about Jesus. So I remember this movie that we watched also, I think it's just called The Nativity, and it was a real life drama about that night Jesus was born. I really love that movie. I thought that kind of brought it to life for our family too.

Lennon: 18:47

Yeah, it was. It was really well done. So however you do it. You, you as a mom and dad, you're smart. You can figure out what's appropriate for your kids. It could be reading the Christmas story together before or after presents on Christmas morning, uh, taking time in, praying before meals to say, Lord, we thank you in this season for what you've done to redeem the world. Thank you for the gift of your son. Yeah, because he, he is the greatest gift. Yeah. He is. The reason for this and what your kids will experience growing up through life is what you have experienced. That joy on the holidays can sometimes be really hard to hold onto whenever the rest of life won't cooperate.

Christal: 19:29

Mm-hmm.

Lennon: 19:30

But if you have the love of God. Proven by the fact that he sent his son into the world. And you remember when the angels came to the shepherds in the field in Luke chapter two, they said, we have news of great joy. That is for everyone. And that was a big deal, and it still is a big deal. So give your kids the gift of your faith. Model it for them, share it with them. And then third, the third and last gift that we want to tell you that you can give your kids and you should give your kids is the gift of a peaceful mom and dad.

Christal: 20:05

Yes. Having parents that are. Completely stressed out and frazzled during Christmas, lost their joy because maybe they didn't have the money to spend on certain things that they wanted to. And how do I know this? Because I'm sure me and you have been there at moments,

Lennon: 20:22

been there, done that.

Christal: 20:23

Mm-hmm. But the, the gift of a peaceful parent is so huge. My Christmases growing up, I remember just moments in the living room with my mom and dad and their joy and their peace on their faces. Just being able to be together and the joy they would have of them just watching us open our presents or talking about the Lord that was more important the atmosphere of our home. And so I would encourage parents. Hey, you know what? If you've been stressed up to this point, let let go of some of that pressure and that worry. And I even know that we've had years where this has happened, where we've said to the kids, I've said this more than anybody, but hey kids, we, we may not have the budget we had last year to do the Christmas gifts. Exactly the same. And they'll come right back at me, say, mom, we don't care. It's okay. Like you don't have to say that. You know? It's more about we want to be together, we just wanna have a good Christmas, and we want you to be peaceful. They don't wanna see me stressed out and all worried because that just that infiltrates the home.

Lennon: 21:33

Right? And the place that you can get peace above all comes from, well, it comes from your faith.

Christal: 21:39

Yeah.

Lennon: 21:40

Christmas is the birth of the prince of peace into the world. And so, at this time of the year, are we trusting God for the present and for the future? Do we realize there are some things that we can't control? Uh, you're, you're not in perfect control of how your family is acting. You're not in perfect control of maybe the future of your job, and yet, you know, the one who is. You serve a God who is over everything, and he can give us peace. And that's important because we can't give and we can't model what we don't have.

Christal: 22:14

Yeah, and I really love, we were talking about this the other day, but I really love how the Lord came to such a humble situation, he didn't come for all of the wealthy and the, you know, prestigious ones. He came for all the low and the high, and we, we were talking about this. About the shepherds, like they were not even allowed to go to certain places because they were very dirty. Right? And so The angels, came to the shepherds and invited them in to see Jesus.

Lennon: 22:47

They did. And what's cool is. They're announcing that God has come near, you know, born to you this day is a savior. And not only is a savior born into the world in general, but into the world of the shepherds, they said, go, you're gonna find him laying in a manger, like in the same place where you would feed your sheep. You are, you're gonna find your savior laying there. So yeah, Jesus entered into the dirtiest of circumstances. It wasn't well lit. It wasn't perfectly clean. It probably wasn't very silent if there were animals around. And they're essentially in a cave. And yet he came to bring peace.

Christal: 23:25

so mom and dad, if you are stressed out, anxious, overwhelmed, we encourage you to give that to the Lord because he is present. Emmanuel is God with us. He is in the midst of us, even in the, the busyness of Christmas. He is there with you. He can take on your burdens that you've been carrying, and if you wanna give a good gift to your kids this year, give that gift of. Them seeing that you trust the Lord and them seeing that you have joy, not because everything is aligned perfect and everything's going right, but you have joy because you have your hope in Jesus. And that's gonna rub off on them. They're gonna catch that. I, I just had a talk with Ethan about his favorite Christmas toys or the things he got. I was like, Hey, do you remember What are your favorite Christmas toys? And he said, um, honestly, I don't remember many. He's like, I don't remember much about the exact gifts we got or had a favorite year. I just really loved our Christmases together, and that really assured me that, okay. So this was not about toys. I was telling him this growing up, I don't remember much about what I got and didn't get. I remember a few things, but It wasn't what made Christmas, Christmas to me.

Lennon: 24:44

Right? So friends, let us remind you what should make Christmas. Christmas to your kids, your time, your faith, your peace. Thanks for listening today. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. We drop new ones every Tuesday, and if today's conversation encouraged you, would you take a moment and share this episode with a friend that might need it? We'd love to help them find the show. You can visit home and marriage.com for more resources, like our Six Habits of Happy Couples Course, and if you'd like us to come speak at your church or event, you can schedule us through the website. You can also follow along at Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. All those links are in the show notes.

Christal: 25:27

Thank you for joining us today on the Home and Marriage Podcast. We really do believe that home can be your favorite place. We'll be back again next week with more encouragement and wisdom to help you become better at home and stronger together.