Mother's Day Reflections: A Special Episode For Moms

In this special Mother’s Day episode, we take an honest and encouraging look at the real journey of motherhood—the beautiful, the chaotic, and everything in between. From funny family memories (including a not-so-memorable Mother’s Day meal) to heartfelt reflections on raising kids through every stage, this conversation is full of relatable moments every mom will understand.

We talk about the pressures moms face today, the myth of “doing it all,” and the freedom that comes from letting go of unrealistic expectations. You’ll also hear wisdom on balancing marriage and motherhood, supporting each other as parents, and why keeping your relationship strong matters more than perfection at home.

Most importantly, we dive into the power of prayer and learning to trust God with your children—especially in seasons where you feel overwhelmed, unsure, or stretched thin.

If you’re a mom in the thick of it, this episode is a reminder that God sees you, your work matters, and you’re not alone.

Happy Mother’s Day 💛

Transcript

Christal 0:02

there's some moments that you're like,"What do I do? I'm at a loss." And of course, that's when you call your mom or you call a friend. Having teenagers, there's been moments where I'm like,"I don't know what I'm doing here."

Lennon 0:15

Yeah.

Christal 0:15

Yeah, I'm sure you've experienced that as a dad, too. But I think there's something that tells us we're gonna have this mothering instinct, and you'll just know what to do, and there's a lot of times you just don't know what to do.

Lennon 0:28

No. Being clueless is part of, part of parenthood at times, isn't it? This is the Home and Marriage Podcast with Lennon and Christal Noland, where we help couples become better at home and stronger together. We are husband and wife, parents and ministers who want God's best for our home and for yours. Well, hello, friends. Welcome back to the show. If you are a committed regular listener, you may have noticed it's the first show in a couple of weeks. We're not gonna make a habit of that, but we've been a little intensely busy.

Christal 0:59

We really have. We've been traveling and getting to do what we love to do, which is talk about marriage and encourage people. We had something more unique to what we normally do, but we got to minister to pastors. Pastors of churches, lead pastors, campus pastors, and we got to encourage them in their marriages, because don't you know that pastors need a great marriage, too?

Lennon 1:22

They do. We talked a lot about the ins and outs of that, which we're very familiar with, but one of the real challenges for a pastoral marriage is you feel like if you're not killing it at home, it can really affect your confidence to minister to other families. And so to come in and just encourage them was really special.

Christal 1:41

It really was. I really enjoyed getting to talk to people that I hadn't met yet, and talk about things that we all kinda get when we're in ministry, and what it's like to be in ministry, and also trying to make sure that our marriages are, are staying important, more important than the ministry, really.

Lennon 1:59

Yes, if things aren't good at home, things aren't good anywhere. And that's true for all of us friends. Mm-hmm. If things aren't good with you at home, then we know it doesn't matter if you're winning at work, doesn't matter if the kids are making all As, things have to be good with the two of you. So not to be braggadocious or anything, not to call attention to how attentive I am, but I do wanna do so by saying I thought about this episode and I said,"You know, Mother's Day is coming up. We oughta focus on moms."

Christal 2:28

Right. We do talk about family life, parenting, so why not talk about motherhood since that's to be celebrated? And there's a lot of people who listen that are moms or married to a mom. You get

Lennon 2:41

it? I do. It took me a second, but that was- but that was right on. Yeah, and so the, the approach that I wanna take today is I actually want to interview you. I think between the two of us, you know more about being a mom than I do.

Christal 2:54

I know what it's like to be a mom, and you know what it's like to watch a mom and live with a mom, so you probably have some insight there too. But I am excited to talk about this. I think it'll be fun.

Lennon 3:05

Okay, so here's a... Let me toss you a softball as we get started. What has been your favorite Mother's Day so far? You've had at least 17 of these, because our oldest daughter- is 17. That's

Christal 3:16

right.

Lennon 3:16

So looking back across the years, what's been your favorite Mother's Day so far?

Christal 3:20

All of the Mother's Days I've had have been wonderful, I would just say one that really sticks out in my mind was a few years back, and the kids were younger, a lot younger. they surprised me with a meal on the front porch, and they put this meal together themselves. Everything was done pretty much by themselves, right?

Lennon 3:41

And I'm sure I was a guiding hand in the kitchen.

Christal 3:44

But the kids just put a meal together, and yeah, it may have been a lot of leftovers on one plate and some bananas, but it was so special because they had worked so hard on it, and they were so excited to show me what they had done for me on Mother's Day. And so that meant a lot, just that they wanted to do something special for me, and they worked really hard doing it. So I think that might have been my favorite.

Lennon 4:06

I know what wasn't your favorite. There is a Mother's Day that lives in infamy in our house. You're shaking your head even now. But I'm gonna tell on myself, friends, so that she doesn't have to. The kids still make fun of me- for this. In fact, a couple of days ago, whenever I was talking about,"What are we gonna do for Mom this Sunday?" my oldest, your oldest too, because we made these kids together, our oldest said,"I tell you what you're not gonna do, Dad, rotisserie chicken and chocolate-dipped strawberries."

Christal 4:34

I remember that. It was pretty interesting. That was the meal, and I am not against chocolate-covered strawberries, so that can happen again. Maybe the rotisserie chicken Was something on a normal day we're not really excited about, so it was funny that that was the meal but maybe it was because, you know, cooking is a lot on Mother's Day too.

Lennon 4:57

Yes, gentlemen, so even if you're not expected to cook a grand meal, let's do a little better planning for the menu than something that could happen on any random Tuesday. Even the kids- knew that wasn't a good special Mother's Day meal. So yeah, we won't run that one back.

Christal 5:13

Well, you did ask me what would I like to do or eat for Mother's Day this year, and I was very, uh, specific. Because here's the deal, going out for Mother's Day at a restaurant can be really hard sometimes. It... The restaurants are super busy. you're going to a restaurant right after church, so you're kinda tired. So this year I was like,"You could just cook me a steak." Like, cook me a quality steak, and on the grill maybe, and then some simple sides. I know that's a request that isn't too crazy either for you, because you're good at doing that, and so that's what I think our menu's gonna be this year, right?

Lennon 5:52

Yeah. Will you make a steak is a request where everybody wins, so that's what we'll do.

Christal 5:57

All right.

Lennon 5:57

Okay. Let's turn the corner here. I have some Pulitzer Prize-worthy journalistic interview questions- Mm that are prepared for you. What's a mom moment that for you perfectly captures the chaos of motherhood?

Christal 6:11

Oh. immediately the situation that comes to my mind is when we were living in North Carolina, we were going through a pretty intense season in life, and then my back messed up. We had three little kids. My back went out one day, it was hurting so bad, I was in tears. And I'm on the couch, I had to lay down, and everybody needs me at that moment.

Lennon 6:34

Yes.

Christal 6:35

And then I don't know if you remember the details, but I just remember, I think most every kid started crying in that moment as well as my back going out. Mm-hmm. Do you remember that?

Lennon 6:44

I do. You're crying because you're literally in so much pain and you can't move.

Christal 6:49

Oh, yeah.

Lennon 6:49

Kids are crying because mom is crying, and everybody is just clueless. I do remember that. It was so intense. We got you to an emergency chiropractor

Christal 6:58

meeting.

Lennon 6:59

Mm-hmm. And then I remember while you're in there, just driving in circles through that neighborhood, trying to get kids to fall asleep in the car.

Christal 7:06

Right.

Lennon 7:06

That was absolutely the most chaotic motherhood moment ever.

Christal 7:10

Yeah, I think it was. It's pretty chaotic. We had a lot of chaotic moments, especially when the kids were little.

Lennon 7:15

Yeah, we really did, and I think it's par for the course, right? What would you say, what has surprised you most about becoming a mom?

Christal 7:22

I think one of the most surprising things would be you think as a mom, especially when they're little, and even moments as they've grown up, that things will just come naturally to you or you're just gonna have that, you know, motherhood sense and know exactly what to do in certain moments. And there are so many moments I've had as a mom that I did not know what to do, and some that I have. I've just kicked into gear and did the thing I need to do. But there's some moments that you're like,"What do I do? I'm at a loss." And of course, that's when you call your mom or you call a friend. Having teenagers, there's been moments where I'm like,"I don't know what I'm doing here."

Lennon 8:02

Yeah.

Christal 8:02

Yeah, I'm sure you've experienced that as a dad, too. But I think there's something that tells us we're gonna have this mothering instinct, and you'll just know what to do, and there's a lot of times you just don't know what to do.

Lennon 8:15

No. Being clueless is part of, part of parenthood at times, isn't it?

Christal 8:19

Yeah.

Lennon 8:19

So we've been through the littles phases, we've been through the, the tweenager phases. We are at- Tweenager? Tweenagers. Yeah, tweenagers. We are in the teenager phase now. Mm-hmm. We're about to send one out into the world, and we've got two more that aren't terribly far behind. What would you say God has really taught you during this particular season of motherhood?

Christal 8:41

I think as they grow into these teenage years, and as they grow and become young adults, first of all, have to let go more and more because they are growing up, and they are needing more freedoms, and they are needing to experience some things, too, without you just telling them what to do exactly. And so I, I really have been learning more to let go and to also increasingly trust the Lord more because we're at this time where one is about to leave the house, and she won't be right here. And as good of a kid as she is, I also am not gonna be there to tell her,"Hey, don't do that," or,"Don't do this." And even now, I'm very careful about what instructions I give. It's a lot more suggestions instead of,"You need to do this," you know? And so I think it's more of letting go and learning to let go The Lord is already involved, but really trusting the Lord more and relying on him that he is going to take care of them, and he's gonna do things in their lives that-

Lennon 9:47

Yeah

Christal 9:47

you know, that you as a parent can't do at that moment. And so that's, that's what, what I'm learning in this season.

Lennon 9:55

Yeah. It's hard to come to terms with, but it's so life-giving when we can, that God really does love our kids more than we do. And whatever our plans were for their lives as they grow up, God's the one that had all of their days written in his books before one of them came to be. Right. That's, that's what he says. Yeah, trusting the Lord with the kids that he gave us to take care of, that's a, that's a big one.

Christal 10:18

Yeah, it really is. And as a mom, I never wanted to be a mom that was ever, you know, too controlling and definitely I've had moments where I can see myself becoming,"Whoa, you're- wait, you need to, you need to calm down. You need to chill." They're gonna learn some things on their own. You don't have to- Be involved in every little thing or whatever. for me, just that letting go more, trusting them. Also, you know, all the hard work we put into parenting all these years, I really feel like they're gonna pay off in some way. They're gonna remember the lessons we taught them, but they're also going to choose their own path, and that's just part of growing up. That's a part of life.

Lennon 10:59

That's great. So you're talking there about coming to terms with kind of the things you don't control. What's another mindset shift you feel that has made motherhood healthier for you?

Christal 11:10

I had noticed the pressures of motherhood w- were greater than I thought they would be, and talking to my own mom about that whenever our kids especially were young, my mom was like,"We did not have the pressures you guys have, um, that are put on you as what kind of mom you need to be and how perfect you need to be." And you have to be able to do all these things that are not really required of you as a mom, but it's expected in our culture today, whether that means putting on an amazing birthday party every year for every kid, spending all this money on clothing to make sure they look cute all the time, always making sure you get Instagram worthy pictures. Just, just all these expectations that are on moms. And even now I'm noticing as we've aged and our kids are older, a lot of younger moms that I see now they are facing things like, okay, we all have to do gender reveal parties. We have to make a big thing out of everything. Yes. And there's, there's too many events and too many things you have to do, or it seems like you have to do. as moms, I think we need to really be able to release some things. Like those expectations are put on us doesn't mean we need to participate in them. That's right. Do all of the things. have a ton of money when we're young and our kids are little. Um, there's, I think there's a lot of things we can let go of and that I've learned more and more to let go of like expectations, whether they're just put on by culture or myself, and to be able to say,"You know what? This is not what the Lord has required of me as a mom." So what does the Lord want of me as a mom? That's really the main thing. what do I want my kids to say whenever they've left the house, they've been gone for five years, they look back on their childhood, what would I love them to say? And I don't w- Think that's gonna be, my mom always had the house clean. My mom always had the perfect meal for us. Mm-hmm. My mom, you know, did these wonderful, amazing, extravagant Pinterest parties. I just don't think that's what they need to be saying. So, so being able to release some stuff is one of the best things I feel like we can do for ourselves as moms.

Lennon 13:23

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Christal 15:23

Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot at once at times. I think certain seasons are very demanding too, physically demanding, especially in those little years, the baby years, physically it's demanding. And I say this, when you get into those tween and teen years, it's mentally demanding. And so there's, there's always demanding seasons, but I always go back to this thought, we decided to have children, right, together. This was a we thing, and I was your wife before I was a mom.

Lennon 15:51

Mm-hmm.

Christal 15:51

And so for me personally, I think back to you're the one who even made me a mother, so like-

Lennon 15:59

You better help out with this process, my guy

Christal 16:01

it's all, but no. But I guess I think, I think it was because of our love, whether that's through biologically having a baby, a child, or adopting, both of you were first, and y'all decided to start this family. And I think about the end game. One day the, the kids are gonna be gone, and it's gonna be you and I again, just us. And I never wanted to look up and think,"Oh, I've invested so much in my children and given them so much of my time and heart and energy," but had nothing left for my husband, and then we're kind of strangers whenever they're gone.

Speaker 3 16:36

Mm-hmm.

Christal 16:36

Because our relationship is first, and we really teach this a lot, but our husband and wife, that's first. And the kids need to see that it's first. And I don't mean in a way of neglect or not loving your kids. Of course

Lennon 16:48

not.

Christal 16:49

Yeah. I mean, plenty of, you know, they should be able to see that with all that you do for them and how you love them. But I will just say there are demanding seasons that do require more physical parts of you, you know? Uh, especially breastfeeding or just having a little baby that you're feeding constantly, even a bottle. Your energy and your time is spent so much with them and that task of keeping them alive that sometimes you feel like there's nothing left. But I do think it is really helpful if your husband is helping you during those moments. I know there were times that things in the infant stage were hard, and you would come in and help me or give me a night off. Maybe you would feed them that night with a bottle so I could get some rest, and I would wake up- a new person, and I would feel, like, so much more energy. things like having time alone with your spouse when you can get that, like prioritizing those times, setting time aside for just you two, having the conversations you need to have in the day, those, those face-to-face meetings. So keeping your marriage alive in those ways, that they don't, get lost in the midst of motherhood, because motherhood is a great calling and it's wonderful, but it doesn't mean your marriage should not continue to be priority. Does that make sense?

Lennon 18:12

It really does. You know, you hinted at this toward the end of that answer, but let me follow up with another question there. For, for husbands, um, during busy times of motherhood, what are some practical ways that a husband can be a good support to his wife?

Christal 18:30

Yeah. I really think, like I was saying with, let's say it's the infant, little years, let's say you have multiple kids, maybe taking a couple of the kids out of the house and, and you're just alone with the baby for a little while, or maybe giving you a night off or some hours to rest, to catch up. Maybe the husband decides, I'm gonna make dinner tonight, feed the kids, help feed you," you know?"I'll take that off your plate. You're not doing all of this." I think it's just that teamwork, that you're watching and, and seeing,"Hey, what can I do to help during this busy season?" Because right now the kids do need her a lot. And if you're a husband that works out of the home, and you're coming home, uh, from a busy day work yourself, I would say take a moment, take a breath, and then find a way to take the kids for a little bit so she can get a little rest time. It's just give and take. It's really being aware of that, of what she's doing and how it is hard. It's a lot of multitasking. And then as they get older, I think it's continuing to keep your date night secure. You know, I know there's times where our kids were younger, maybe they had a new babysitter, and they knew them but they didn't know them know them yet, and maybe they weren't loving that we were leaving the house to go on a date. But we would still make that a priority because we knew they would be fine, and we knew, we trusted the babysitter. And so I think it's like encouraging your wife to,"Let's get out just us two. Let's go on a date." You know? Sometimes you just need to remind your wife, like,"This is important. I wanna be with you alone."

Lennon 20:08

That's really true. That is, that is really our job as a husband sometimes, because no mom will need encouragement or even much of an opportunity to feel guilty about leaving the kids for a little while. Uh, that may be leaving the kids with you as a dad for them to get out the door and go to Target, or like the scenario you're talking about, uh, going on a date. And so that is really one way that, as a husband, I've, I've found that can really be encouraging and effective for you, is just to say,"No, we, we need this," or,"You need this. They're gonna be okay. They will still be here in just a little bit." And it makes a big difference.

Christal 20:45

It really does. I 100% believe you'll have more to give when you're being able to be poured into or have those rest moments or have those moments with your husband. You're gonna feel like a new person when you come back sometimes, and you're ready to get right back into the game of mothering and doing all the things, but you need those moments. And so you may feel this guilt, but I don't think that guilt is really from the Lord. I think that we just always feel like we need to be doing everything. But find someone you do trust who can take care of your kids here and there so you can go on a date.

Lennon 21:20

Yeah, that's incredibly important. Okay, just two more questions. The first one I wanna ask you is about prayer. Talk to moms about the importance of prayer in the life of a mother, and how has prayer shaped your approach as a parent?

Christal 21:34

Well, first of all, prayer is really powerful, and we see it in the scriptures many times where a mom has prayed to the Lord about their child or having children. And the Lord answers in different ways, but he is very available, of course, to moms. I really believe he wants moms to trust him and come to him for what they need. And so I would say it's, a necessary part of motherhood. And there will be times in motherhood that it will bring you to your knees, you don't know what else to do but to get onto your knees and pray about a situation or a child or whatever it may be as a mom. But I do think that as I've grown as a mom, or I've come to the Lord as my first response, not my last resort. And I've really seen the Lord speak to me in ways that have encouraged me as a mom. And just knowing that I can trust the Lord with all this stuff, and I'm just gonna lay it at his feet, and I'm just gonna talk to him about what's going on, because I know he has the answers, he knows what to do in these situations, or he knows how to get ahold of my child in a way that's only by the Holy Spirit. And so prayer is really important, because I think if we don't pray, we just worry, we just stress out, we become these balls of just anxiety, and w- we don't have a place to put our worries and fears. And the Lord really wants us to put them in his hands, and he wants to show us as moms that he can move and work in ways that only he can. There's just been so many times that I prayed something. And not saying, like, every prayer I pray is exactly what I asked for-

Lennon 23:16

Of course

Christal 23:17

cause the Lord does work in the way that he works in his timing. But there have been many times where I prayed something, and I could see God was already moving and working in that specific area. And it just amazed me that he wanted to, to help me as a mom, whether it's dealing with my own heart or dealing with a child's things they're going through so I've seen too many times the Lord moves in prayer, and I also don't wanna live a life of stressing and feeling like I have to figure it all out and control it all,'cause that's just a terrible place to be.

Lennon 23:53

It is, and there are too many heavy burdens that you carry as a mom-

Christal 23:57

Mm-hmm

Lennon 23:57

to feel like that's all on your sh- all on your shoulders.

Christal 23:59

Right.

Lennon 24:00

Yeah. God's good at his job. We gotta let him be God sometimes.

Christal 24:03

That's right.

Lennon 24:03

Or all the time.

Christal 24:04

All the time.

Lennon 24:05

All the time. Okay. Last, uh, question, a bit of a scenario for you really, Crystal. So listening here right now, she might be doing dishes, she might be in the school pickup line, she may be doing anything, but there's a mom listening, and she has one or two or four little ones. Uh, sometimes she doesn't know what in the world she has gotten done from the time she gets up to the time she goes to bed. Maybe a lot of days she, uh, spends tired the full day, and she wonders if, does God see what she's doing? Does it really, does it really matter in the big scheme of things? Can you just give some closing encouragement to those moms that are right in the thick of all of it? What would you like to leave them with?

Christal 24:52

Well, first of all, I would say for moms in the thick of it that all the time and energy, tears and sweat, and all the things you could think of that they give is really an important role. They're giving as giving unto the Lord. They're really doing it to honor the Lord, and He sees it, and He sees all the details of our days and the changing the diapers or the washing the dishes. Whatever it is that you're doing as a mom, taking care of your family, taking care of your kids, He sees all of it. And I really think that there's a fulfillment and blessing in that, that He, He sees what you pour out, and He is there for moms, and He's there to encourage moms. And the hard work, they do isn't going to go to waste either, even if it seems really mundane. But at the same time, I think we've got to remember as moms to keep our relationship with the Lord priority, to talk to Him while you're washing the dishes. Like, for moms, there's sometimes not a perfect time of the day to spend all this time with the Lord. I'm gonna spend a whole hour- That's the truth, yeah with the Lord this morning. And so what may happen is a kid wakes you up at 5:00 a.m., and you're Going full blast all day. And so I would say for moms, when you're in the thick of that, to take any moment you can, a nap time or maybe while you're washing the dishes or folding the laundry, speak to the Lord, talk to the Lord because He says pray continuously, right? So if we're praying continuously, it's not like there's on- only one part of the day. You're connecting with the Lord throughout the day, and you're bringing and inviting Him into every situation. And so I would say to do that, to remember to do that. And then when you need to have some time, it's okay to sit with a cup of tea and a really great book and just enjoy yourself for a moment. Take those opportunities when you can. But know that seasons change, and not every season is the same. And so you'll have some more demanding seasons than others. But in every season, I think some things are foundational, and that's your time with the Lord And then knowing that what you're doing is, is for a great reason. One of the greatest things you can do with your life is be a mom. It's not the only thing. As a mom, you're many different things sometimes, right? And you have your own joys and hobbies and interests. You're not just a mom, but it is a wonderful thing to be a mom.

Lennon 27:16

So there you go. We'll let that be a bow there for the moms. So mom, whatever age and stage your kids are in, however many times you have been around this block, whether you are stay-at-home or you are in a career and engaging when you get back to the house, we just encourage you, we celebrate you, and, um,, Happy Mother's Day.

Christal 27:35

Happy Mother's Day.

Lennon 27:37

So friends, don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. We drop new ones every Tuesday. If today's conversation encouraged you, would you please take a minute and share this episode with someone you know? It really helps people find the show and join the community. You can visit homeandmarriage.com for more resources like our Six Habits of Happy Couples course. And if you'd like us to come speak at your church or event, you can schedule us through the website. You can also follow along on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. All those links are in the show notes.

Christal 28:06

Thank you for joining us on the Home and Marriage podcast. We really do believe that home can be your favorite place. We'll be back again next week with more encouragement and wisdom to help you become better at home and stronger together.