Family Vacation Expectations: The Highs, Lows, and Lasting Memories

In this episode, we’re talking all about family vacations—the expectations, the reality, and the memories that last long after the trip is over. From camping fights and broken air mattresses to favorite family traditions and meaningful moments with the kids, we share honest stories from our own vacations over the years.

We talk about how vacations don’t have to be perfect or expensive to matter, why realistic expectations are important for couples and families, and how some of the best memories come from the simplest moments together. Whether you’re planning a big trip, a budget-friendly getaway, or even a staycation, this conversation will encourage you to prioritize connection over perfection and make space for meaningful time together this summer.

Transcript

Lennon 0:03

This is the Home and Marriage Podcast with Lennon and Crystal Noland, where we help couples become better at home and stronger together. We are husband and wife, parents and ministers who want God's best for our home and for yours Well, hello friends. Welcome to the show today. We are meeting you here on the podcast in the official early days of summer break. In fact, we're recording this on Memorial Day. So my love, are you excited for the start of summer?

Christal 0:33

I am, and like I said, I think last week, one thing that I'm really excited about is not having the school drop-offs in the morning or pickups.

Lennon 0:41

Yep.

Christal 0:42

I think that is gonna be a wonderful thing for the summer. But I'm looking forward to all things summer, all kinds of things like swimming, being in the sun more. Of course, here in Texas, it's gonna be brutally hot at some point.

Lennon 0:54

Yes, it will.

Christal 0:55

I'm really looking forward to summer vacationing or just some fun off time for our family. What about you?

Lennon 1:03

Yes, I'm looking forward to those things too. In fact, this is what we're gonna talk about today. We're gonna get into the iconic tradition of the family summer vacation. Now, this is something that you really had to introduce the importance to me, because when I was growing up, like our vacations, we would go and visit family. We had one really cool vacation on a lake in East Texas, but for the most part, our vacation was just going to, to visit family- Mm-hmm and getting caught up with them.

Christal 1:32

Right.

Lennon 1:33

You really introduced me to the concept of summer vacation for making memories together and with the kids.

Christal 1:39

Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's always been really important to me maybe 'cause the way that our family did that. I think, of course, all the things that we grow up with really influence a lot of what we do as adults. But vacation was a thing we always did every summer no matter what. And whether we had a big budget or small budget, that was a big thing. And so I remember... Goodness, I remember our first vacation-type thing that just you and I did before we even had kids. Do you remember that?

Lennon 2:08

No, you gotta remind me. I'm sure it's gonna jog my memory. Camping. Oh, camping. Camping.

Christal 2:12

Oh, yeah.

Lennon 2:13

Yeah.

Christal 2:14

We had, like, our first real big married fight on that trip.

Lennon 2:17

We did. We went to a KOA. Yeah. It was outside of San Antonio.

Christal 2:21

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 2:22

We had a big argument setting up the tent, and yeah, I do remember that. That was... But we, we redeemed it.

Christal 2:29

We

Lennon 2:29

did. We forgave. We did. We forgot. It was a great time. We moved on. We ended up having some great days together.

Christal 2:34

Yeah. And I think that's the first and last time we ever had a trip in a tent.

Lennon 2:39

Yeah.

Christal 2:41

Well, we've had some good vacations over the years. I really have enjoyed a lot of them, especially just over the years getting to take the kids to different places. Not even huge, big, fancy, expensive vacations, but just getting to be together. It really has created a lot of memories for our family, I think. Okay, so is there a favorite vacation you remember we had as a family, whether it's like recent or when the kids were little? Do you have any favorite memories from vacations?

Lennon 3:13

I definitely do. Like, whenever I think of it, I have kind of a montage of things from different vacations really.

Christal 3:20

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 3:20

I don't know if I have a favorite vacation, as in this year we went here.

Christal 3:25

Yeah.

Lennon 3:25

But I have favorite moments-

Christal 3:27

Mm-hmm

Lennon 3:27

from our vacations. Like, one of the memories I really love are seeing our kids hold up their right hand, making the like young ranger pledge at the Grand Canyon.

Christal 3:39

Oh, yeah.

Lennon 3:39

One of the guides took them around, showed them a few things, and then they gave the pledge to protect the national park and be good, be good people. Like something like that. I j- I just still love that memory so much. Mm-hmm. And then some of them don't have to do with any particular activity that we couldn't do at home. Some of it's just sitting around watching a movie together.

Christal 4:01

Mm.

Lennon 4:02

But because we had made time to go somewhere and be somewhere different, just the atmosphere was totally different and we really enjoyed it.

Christal 4:09

Yeah, I think one of my favorite just memories was on a vacation we went to Branson, and it wasn't a super fancy vacation, but we had a good time. And the kids even remember that vacation. They still talk about it today and how much fun they had. But we had this thing we did where the kids were finally old enough to do just more with, you know? I know you took our son Ethan, and y'all had a guy day, and me and the girls had a girl day. And we ate a really yummy lunch, and we got our nails done. And so that was one of my favorite memories because I could tell how much they enjoyed doing that together. It was just something we didn't normally do. And I, I do think when you're location-wise, or sometimes just you have set aside, even if you're on a staycation, you've set aside some time to go to this place and do this thing, it just helps relieve maybe The normal day-to-day responsibilities and, and things on your mind. It... I will never say that vacation is something that will just fix deep problems or something, but I think it is a, a good way for families to get away, couples to get away, to reset and just have fun together.

Lennon 5:24

Yeah, I think it provides kind of anchor, opportunity for anchor memories for the family, uh, that the kids really do remember, and that we really remember.

Christal 5:33

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 5:34

But we can, uh, we've had some experiences on vacation and also, also that were really chaotic or crazy. Mm-hmm. It's just kind of a reminder of kind of our theme, vacation expectations, that vacation's not necessarily a magic wand where because you've made time just for family, it's all gonna go super smooth-

Christal 5:52

Oh, yeah

Lennon 5:53

and be really, be really easy.

Christal 5:55

Especially with little kids. I think that... Well, let me just say, in the relationship, I'm the one that has grand expectations-

Lennon 6:04

That

Christal 6:04

is true for those trips, right? Yes. I, in my head, I can imagine how just wonderful it's gonna be. But when your kids are little, this is something you say, but really vacationing is like parenting just in a different location when you have little kids.

Lennon 6:20

It is. It's parenting without all the stuff you would normally have.

Christal 6:24

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 6:24

You can't put them in their own room because they probably don't have their own room, especially if you've got, you know, three or five of you in a single hotel room.

Christal 6:33

Yeah.

Lennon 6:34

And so that is the ongoing joke. We have a friend named Andrew who, uh, currently he has taken his kids for the first time ever to Disney World. Mm. One of the Disneys.

Christal 6:46

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 6:47

And we were talking about it, and he goes, "I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also not." He goes, "Like you always said, there is no vacation when you have young kids. It's just parenting in more complex places."

Christal 6:57

Yeah.

Lennon 6:58

And, um, of course, they have had a great time. I was texting him about that this morning. But, um, but it is funny. There's a degree of difficulty when you're taking your little ones across the state or across the country.

Christal 7:09

Yeah, exactly. Do you remember some of the... I have some memories in my mind right now, but some moments that might have just not gone really well on vacation?

Lennon 7:19

Yes, I really do. Uh, here's one. We had gotten the opportunity to stay at a lake house. We took the kids out to the lake, and as we're swimming, we're finding mussels, which are, for the uninitiated, you probably can picture an oyster. Mussels are kind of like the lake version of oysters. We found a bunch of them, and I had the great idea of let's take these back to the house and, and cook them up. And so we had this little bowl full of mussels that we took back to the house, cooked them up, and they tasted great, but we all had the experience of tasting them twice You don't like that? Do you

Christal 7:59

have to be gross like that?

Lennon 8:02

Well, yeah, I guess what I'm saying, friends, is that me and our oldest daughter, who was so young at that point, we ended up that night throwing it all back up- Yeah and being so sick.

Christal 8:12

We all felt sick that night. I, I did feel sick. It was not the ideal vacation situation. I remember this time. We went to Asheville, North Carolina, which is like a mountain town, beautiful place. And we, I again, had visions of perfection in my mind of how great this was gonna go. I planned out the Airbnbs, you know, saw everything online. Well, we get to Asheville, and we're driving through the town, and everybody's like, "Oh, this is so beautiful," you know? And then we pull up to the Airbnb, which is a little out of the way in kind of a neighborhood, you're like, "Hmm, this is kinda iffy."

Lennon 8:53

More hood than neighborhood.

Christal 8:54

Maybe. And Let me just say this. The Airbnb was not quite what the pictures showed. The pictures made it look a lot better-

Lennon 9:05

Mm-hmm

Christal 9:05

than in real life. So we get in there. We're a little disappointed that it's not as beautiful. We're like, "Hey, we're, look, we'll make this work," right?

Lennon 9:12

Yeah.

Christal 9:13

This is in the middle of summer, and even though this is a mountain town, it can get hot there and humid. Yep. And at maybe day two or day three, the AC went out.

Lennon 9:22

Yep.

Christal 9:23

And then it took them a while to fix it.

Lennon 9:25

Yeah.

Christal 9:25

Right? I mean, we had all these things go wrong. And then on our way home, I found a hotel that I thought, "Okay, this will be a good place to stop for the night to get back to Texas." And do you remember how bad that hotel room was?

Lennon 9:39

Yes, I do. Um, it was not as advertised, of course. We thought it had a pull-out couch.

Christal 9:44

Mm-hmm. And

Lennon 9:45

I don't believe it did have a pull-out couch.

Christal 9:47

No, it was a fake, like, it was a little love seat. Didn't pull out at all.

Lennon 9:50

Yeah, the... I remember the bathroom sink having green streaks in it. And I said, "Surely this is not mold."

Christal 9:59

Mm.

Lennon 10:00

And I ran my fingernail through it, and it, and it was mold. Do you remember this? I had to go to the front desk. And I was fortunate enough they did have an air mattress- Mm-hmm since the room did not have a pull-out bed. Yeah. So I took one for the team, taking the air mattress, and when I woke up the next morning, I am like in an air mattress taco.

Christal 10:18

Yes.

Lennon 10:19

It had a hole in it. It leaked. I'm all the way to the floor. That was, as far as vacations that don't work out like you hope-

Christal 10:28

Mm-hmm

Lennon 10:28

that was the vacation of all vacations for us.

Christal 10:31

It really was. I think we were ready just to get home at that point.

Lennon 10:35

We were.

Christal 10:36

But here's what I think is funny about that vacation. The kids still just laugh about what happened to us on that vacation and how... And we had some good memories. Like, we actually swam in a beautiful waterfall.

Lennon 10:48

Oh, we did.

Christal 10:48

So there was some beautiful things about it, but we also have some great stories now to laugh at-

Lennon 10:53

Yeah

Christal 10:53

about that vacation.

Lennon 10:55

So it's like the event itself, the event of the vacation, is probably going to be a mixed bag.

Christal 11:01

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 11:01

It's, it's gonna have highs and lows. Your kids are still gonna be kids- Yeah on vacation.

Christal 11:06

That's right.

Lennon 11:07

Um, you as a couple are still gonna be you as a couple. You might still get on each other's nerves even though you might be in a beautiful place. But- Vacations are fantastic. Mm-hmm.

Christal 11:17

And

Lennon 11:18

so I thought maybe we could give our listening friends a few tips for a great vacation. Mm. Some things that we've learned. Yeah. You've talked about your great expectations, and honestly, on my side, low expectations- uh, in terms of my very stationary personality. But we figured out a few things over the years that have really worked for us.

Christal 11:38

We have, and can we also just quickly talk about how different we are about vacations?

Lennon 11:44

Yes.

Christal 11:45

Okay. So I am the type, I like to plan it. I l- I have great expectations, sometimes too grand, but I enjoy the planning of it.

Lennon 11:54

Yes.

Christal 11:54

And it's really important for me. I'm usually the one in our relationship that says, "Honey, we've got to figure out what we're doing for vacation before it gets too late."

Lennon 12:02

Yes.

Christal 12:03

And so I'm also the one that could tend to schedule our activities a little too intensely. Let's go see this. Let's go do that. Oh, we can't forget this, right? Yes. When I'm in a place, sometimes I just wanna do all the things that, that's offered.

Lennon 12:20

And I wanna do none of the things-

Christal 12:21

Yeah

Lennon 12:22

that's offered. I mean, if, if we were to go to France together- Oh, yeah and we made, we made time for the trip, and all that kind of stuff, and we... If we were in a comfortable hotel with a nice cafe across the street, I would feel like we had done France. I'd, I'd be very happy.

Christal 12:39

No.

Lennon 12:39

And you would be wanting to see everything-

Christal 12:41

Oh,

Lennon 12:41

yeah and go, go everywhere. And so that's part of having a good vacation, is us working with our unique personalities.

Christal 12:49

Yes. We have to compromise. We really do. We have learned over the years, I have learned to chill more and to maybe not schedule every day in one location with something to do that... You know what I mean? Like-

Lennon 13:04

So would you say that really a tip for great vacations is to have realistic expectations?

Christal 13:11

Yes.

Lennon 13:12

A- and sometimes that means of one another.

Christal 13:14

Yeah.

Lennon 13:14

Really.

Christal 13:14

Like,

Lennon 13:15

I, I can't expect that every day is gonna be coffee and a book.

Christal 13:18

Yeah. That's very true. And I think one way to work, or to make that better ahead of time is to actually communicate and talk about what do you expect to happen on this vacation. Mm-hmm. Like, what are you looking forward to? What do you wanna make sure we do on this vacation? And so now that our kids are older, that's actually something, you know, within budget, we, we do ask that question is, "So what are the things you're looking forward to on vacation?" A lot of times it surprises me with what they wanna do. Sometimes they just, "I don't wanna... I just wanna go to the pool. I just wanna hang out, lay out," whatever. Yeah. It's not even, "I wanna do this and that." So I think it's really important to just talk about, "So honey, what is your expectation for this vacation this year?" Right?

Lennon 14:06

Yes. Yeah, I think a- another, another good tip for a vacation that, that we've learned is really you, you need to set the date as early as you can.

Christal 14:16

Mm.

Lennon 14:16

Yeah. And I remember realizing how important this was to you several years ago, where we were in the midst of a very busy time in terms of, in terms of work and all the responsibilities and everything, and my mind was just there. And we are into mid or late June, and I remember we're sitting on the couch one morning on a day off, and you said, "Are we going to do anything this summer? Are we gonna do any vacation? Because it's getting away from us, and we're really running out of time."

Christal 14:44

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 14:45

And so I, as the person who needed to be encouraged to remember this, would really encourage, if my counterparts are listening, like get with your spouse and prioritize the plan. Yeah. You don't have to have like all the budget worked out yet.

Christal 15:00

Yeah, yeah.

Lennon 15:01

Like work backwards. At least say, "We're doing this." Mm-hmm. "On this weekend, it's us, whether it's a staycation or a vacation, but we're gonna make this a priority."

Christal 15:11

Yeah, I like that idea and I like that thought because, I mean, you may even have in one relationship two people who are really bad at planning, where they just don't, they don't do this, and run into the situation where it's, oh my goodness, we're in the middle of summer, we're gonna go somewhere. And it's just, it can be just stressful. And so I think any- all of us can get better at planning or just setting the date or setting the place. I think we kinda know, most of us aren't surprised by like a million-dollar check in the middle of summer, now we can go vacation. We kinda know what we're gonna be making. We can set money... What's great about this is we can set money aside and start paying on the vacation, and it will help us find better prices for things if we're looking ahead, reserving the Airbnb. You'll get more choices, better prices, whether you're gonna fly, whether you're gonna drive. At least if you need plane tickets, like all of that stuff, when you're planning it ahead, you're gonna save money on it too. So that's a plus.

Lennon 16:14

It is. And the longer you have it on the calendar in advance, the more anticipation builds up, too, and that's really part of the fun. Like, I, I can't wait to get away, and famously, we always encourage couples, keep something on the calendar.

Christal 16:28

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 16:29

That whenever you know you have something on the calendar, yeah, we're really busy and tired right now, but that last week in June, we're going here. That's just a good, healthy thing for a marriage.

Christal 16:39

And do you know, I've read actually that the planning of the trip, the serotonin levels are highest as you're planning and getting ready and thinking about it and talking about

Lennon 16:49

it. Yeah.

Christal 16:49

So, like, there's some things that happen in your brain that's anticipation and fun, so all of that. I love to plan. Yeah. Planning's fun. So I love that part. But yeah, I agree.

Lennon 17:01

You mentioned a moment ago setting money aside to save up for the vacation, and that's really, I think, one of the important points of how to have a good vacation is don't despise your budget.

Christal 17:11

Mm. Yeah.

Lennon 17:11

Like, don't, don't feel that because you can't do everything or something really grand that you can't do something that will still be really significant. I mean, our kids, one of their favorite vacations that we ever had, do you remember the summer we went to Canyon Lake?

Christal 17:28

Mm-hmm. I do.

Lennon 17:30

We had a little apartment that you and I were not too impressed with at all. It really wasn't the nicest area. It wasn't so great, to be honest. But they loved that vacation. Children, little kids are kind of easily impressed. It doesn't have to be Disney World.

Christal 17:49

Right.

Lennon 17:49

If you can't do Disney World, who cares?

Christal 17:52

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 17:52

It doesn't have to be for them to have really an unforgettable time.

Christal 17:56

Yeah. That is so true, and this is something I feel like I have to remind myself a lot of times, and did as the kids were growing up, because we'd have friends that were going on some pretty amazing vacations, and our kids knew that, you know, and they didn't go on those. And so for me, I was like, "Oh, am I depriving my kids of not getting to experience this amazing thing?" And to those who can, it's great. But if you don't have the budget, finances, ability to do that, it's... I will agree 100%, I've seen our kids really enjoy vacations that I thought, "Wow, we didn't even spend as much money that year."

Lennon 18:37

Yeah, we were of the mindset, "At least we can do this."

Christal 18:40

Yeah, exactly. I'm always surprised, like we said earlier, just asking the kids what their favorite vacations or moments were, and they were not, "Oh, when y'all spent all this money to go do this." That's, it wasn't about that. It was about little things. Do you remember some of the little things that were the best things for us for vacation?

Lennon 19:02

I do. Actually, a peak memory for me, and I know for them as well, is it was the last night of vacation a few years ago, and we stayed in. We ordered a couple of pizzas.

Christal 19:15

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 19:16

We had some soda, and we binged the next to last season of Stranger Things. They had released a few episodes to finish up the season, and so we just, we stayed in the room, and we watched three episodes in a row, ate pizza and chips. They loved that.

Christal 19:36

Yeah, they really did. And, and mind you, we do have teenagers, so this was, like, the thing they were looking forward to, and we had a fun time together. We really enjoyed that. I didn't think, honestly didn't think that I would enjoy that so much, but because it was, like, a planned thing that we did together, everybody was into it, it was just really fun. It was a really good memory. I love that memory. I feel like there's a lot of those little things that were cheap or free, and they made a big impact. I will say, this year we're having a pretty budget-friendly vacation, because we've had all these senior activities, and, you know, just sometimes we're in a phase of life where we've been s- having to spend on a certain area. Yeah. And so vacation just isn't in the, it wasn't the budget of last year. Yeah, no. And I think as parents, we can easily one-up the last vacation, or- Yeah feel like we need to. But I know this year we're going to a more budget-friendly place, and the kids have been there before, and it's a fun place. But I did ask our son, you know, "What are you looking forward to on vacation?" And one of the things he said is, "It would be great if we could find some beautiful buildings to look at, maybe some neat architecture, or nature trails, or things like that." Those are very affordable, pretty much free, if not free. Yes, yes. And so I told him, "Yeah, actually, I know of a beautiful garden thing we could go see there. And they have, like, a chapel that's in the woods, you know." And, and so there's these things that we were talking about we could do that really won't cost us anything but maybe a parking pass, you know? Yeah. So that, that's really, I think, um, I think You should look for those things to do that are very budget-friendly and make great memories, because here's what you don't wanna do. You don't wanna get back from vacation, and you got into a lot of debt to go on the vacation.

Lennon 21:28

That's right. It won't be worth it.

Christal 21:30

Exactly, and you're stressed out about it. And then you need a vacation from the vacation because you feel stressed with all the things you did and couldn't afford. I'll just say, it's, it's not worth it.

Lennon 21:42

No. It's really not. But here's something that is worth it, and it's our last encouragement for you friends, is to build in simple traditions to your vacation. You mentioned earlier that one of ours is a girls' day and a guys' day. You may take the girls to get a pedicure or something like that, and, uh, our son and I, we will go see-

Christal 22:05

Mm-hmm

Lennon 22:05

we will go see a movie.

Christal 22:06

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Lennon 22:07

Like, those kind of things. One day we went to the pool, and y'all went out shopping.

Christal 22:12

Right.

Lennon 22:13

And those are really favorite memories of theirs.

Christal 22:15

Yeah, they really are. Okay, this is a really silly memory, but, or a silly tradition for us, but I'm gonna tell the people about it, so don't judge us. But one thing we did, I did growing up is we would always go to the store for snacks. Let's say we're staying at an Airbnb or whatever. We go to the store for some snacks to start off the vacation, and the things that we would get are just food items that we would never buy-

Lennon 22:44

Yeah

Christal 22:44

at home normally.

Lennon 22:46

Yep.

Christal 22:46

But we always get deviled ham.

Lennon 22:48

Deviled

Christal 22:48

ham. Oh, guys, y'all are gonna think we're so gross, but we get cans of deviled ham with crackers, and we get that cheese that you squeeze out of the bottle.

Lennon 22:57

Cheez Whiz.

Christal 22:57

Cheese whatever it's called.

Lennon 23:00

Yeah.

Christal 23:00

We get that, and maybe some other snacks that are just different, and we go back to the place, and we have, like, those snacks. And so what's funny about that is because we started that when the kids were little, they always wanna make sure we do it every vacation. It is a tradition.

Lennon 23:17

Yeah. It's kinda like that deal where there's a certain beverage you always get when you're on an airplane.

Christal 23:23

Hmm.

Lennon 23:23

Like, when I'm on an airplane, I always request cranberry cocktail juice, which I drink at no other part of our life.

Christal 23:31

Yeah, cranberry juice. You never get cranberry juice.

Lennon 23:33

No.

Christal 23:33

And I always get ginger ale. That's my go-to every time.

Lennon 23:36

Yeah. So, yeah. And so this really is that kind of thing. Mm-hmm. They do look forward to deviled ham and Cheez Whiz, which sounds so gross. It does. But then we always also have a donut day on our vacation. Mm-hmm. We

Christal 23:46

do.

Lennon 23:47

We'll look up some place in town that does really good donuts, and for one morning, we're gonna pig out on donuts and kolaches.

Christal 23:54

Yeah. And I know for you and I, we have to, in the morning, just have our coffee together and hang out and talk and enjoy the place. Maybe even... I think the best for me is if there's some kind of back porch or front porch or just a place that we can sit and have coffee and talk about life and not have to talk about work. Yeah. Not have to talk about all the responsibilities.

Lennon 24:16

Yep.

Christal 24:16

But kinda dream and just- Yeah mentally disconnect from everything

Lennon 24:20

else. Yeah. And this is a blessing of our stage with our kids, too.

Christal 24:24

Mm-hmm.

Lennon 24:24

Um, early mornings, they're gonna be sleeping.

Christal 24:26

Yeah.

Lennon 24:27

Now, when they were little on vacations, they might be up with the sunrise.

Christal 24:31

Exactly.

Lennon 24:31

You know, you take a breath, drink your coffee, and hang out with your kids. But yeah, it's a, it's a really great thing. So friends, those are our encouragements for you today. Take a vacation, even if it's a staycation. Make the plan. Um, don't expect everything to be perfect, but it doesn't have to be for it to be great- Mm-hmm and for it to be good. Those are tips that have helped us have great vacations, and we hope that they'll be a help to you too

Christal 24:58

So friends, don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. We drop new ones every Tuesday. If today's conversation encouraged you, would you take a minute and share this episode with someone that you know? It really helps more people find the show and join our community. You can visit homeandmarriage.com for more resources, like our Six Habits of Happy Couples course. And if you'd like us to come speak at your church or event, you can schedule us through the website. You can also follow along on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. All the links will be in the show notes.

Lennon 25:33

So thank you for joining us on the Home and Marriage podcast. We really do believe that home can be your favorite place. We'll be back next week with more encouragement and wisdom to help you become better at home and stronger together