Parenting with Purpose and Faith

On this episode of the Authentic Marriage Podcast, hosts Shawn and Lauren, along with Chris and Brooke, have an honest conversation about parenting and the responsibility of raising children in a Christ-centered home. They share how important it is for couples to seek the Lord together, knowing that children notice from a young age what truly matters to their parents.

The hosts discuss how parenting is a journey of growth and learning, reminding listeners that no parent will do it perfectly. Through every season, God continues to shape and teach us as we lead our children. Using Proverbs 22:6 as encouragement, the conversation highlights the importance of training children in the ways of the Lord and consistently bringing life back to Scripture.

Shawn, Lauren, Chris, and Brooke also talk about how children naturally reflect what they see modeled at home. The priorities parents live out, whether faith, prayer, love, or time with God, often become visible in the lives of their children. They encourage parents to be intentional about modeling Christ instead of parenting from constant reaction or emotion.

The episode also emphasizes the importance of healthy boundaries and discipline rooted in love and guidance, not punishment. Speaking Scripture over children, praying for them, and pointing them back to God’s truth creates a strong spiritual foundation for their future.

The hosts remind listeners that it is never too late to make changes and pursue a more intentional, biblical approach to parenting, no matter the age of their children. This episode encourages families to lead with grace, consistency, and a desire to reflect Christ within the home.

🔔 Subscribe and turn on notifications to stay connected with future episodes.

📲 Connect with Love for a Lifetime:

Website: www.loveforalifetimetx.org
Instagram: loveforalifetimetx
Facebook: loveforalifetimetx
Pinterest: https://pin.it/1WkYgr7DQ

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome back to Love for a Lifetime's uh Authentic Marriage Podcast. I'm Chris. It's my wife, Brooke, and they're Sean and Lauren. We're glad that you guys are back. We're going to talk a little bit about parenting today. You know, we talk a lot about marriage, and obviously, parenting's a big part uh for most people that are married of what they do in marriage. Um so maybe we'll start a little bit with with our kids. So Brooke and I, we've got two kids. We've got uh a daughter who's 24 uh and uh and a son who's uh 21, about to be 22. So I don't know if you want to tell them a little bit more about each of them.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Yeah, our daughter graduated from nursing school last August and she moved to North Carolina, so she is working uh as a nurse in a cardiology department there. And then our son is a senior at the University of Texas, as we mentioned, and we're doing a podcast, and he's getting ready to graduate, God willing. He's graduating in a few weeks. In fact, I think he's taking a big test like right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:05

So I'm hearing empty nesters on we are right now, hoping that lasts.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

We've got a few little bit of a rank things here and there. We're enjoying being empty nesters. So that's that's our stage of parenting. You guys have kind of covered all of all of the stages around.

SPEAKER_07 1:24

So we have a 27-year-old who just got married a year ago at Sandalwood, which is super cool. Uh, we have a 18, almost 19-year-old. He is um still figuring out what he wants to do, um, but he's getting there. And then we have a two about to be three and five-year-old.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:44

Yeah, so we're all over the map. So empty nesting doesn't ever exist in the underbreath.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

It's over the horizon. It's over the horizon. It's all being in heaven.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

That's pretty good. So between the four of us, we've got the whole range of young ones, but also, you know, kids, kids who have been through middle school and teenage years and into university.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

So one girl. We can mention that all the boys are boys.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Yeah, all the boys, so just one girl represented here, but one girl represented, and we're actually going next week to North Carolina, to Carolinas to meet our daughter's boyfriend. So the first time. So we're excited. Uh-huh. Excited. We're cautious. I'm cautious.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

I'm excited. She's excited, I'm cautious. He sounds like a great guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

He does sound like a good guy.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

I won't say anything else. Yeah, he sounds like a great guy.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

So parenting, but parenting's one of those things, it's it's like it brings out the range of things because it's like great joys, but also uh great frustrations. Um, so it's an interesting thing to think about how do we go about being uh good parents? Um, and I think you know, one of the things that as I look back and reflect on it now is think about parenting as this process, right? Uh, because your children are growing and building and becoming um little humans, uh little adults. Um, so there's a process to parenting that you have to kind of walk through in the different stages.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Yeah, and I think one thing that's important and kind of parallel before we get into the specifics of that is just kind of our our faith journey and and what we've walked through, because that certainly had an impact on our parenting. And Chris and I both grew up Lutheran and we went to Lutheran churches, and when our kids were born, we were going to Lutheran churches, and then we had the opportunity to go overseas, and there really wasn't the option for an English-speaking Lutheran church overseas. So we went to the church that we could find that was English speaking and um ended up in non-denominational churches. And for us, that was a wonderful thing because we had some amazing churches overseas that really um helped us in our walk with the Lord and really opened our eyes to understand and having a relationship with Jesus. That wasn't something we really got from our childhood, and maybe it was just our age, not necessarily the church, I don't know, but non-denominational really spoke to us in terms of just who Jesus is and this personal relationship that he wants with us. So that's been part of, you know, obviously part of our parenting as we've learned and grown, we've incorporated that. Um, but how about for you guys? What's your what's your background with that?

SPEAKER_04 4:33

Um, I mean, I grew up in a Christian home, so I was very used to knowing who Jesus was and the relationship part of it all and everything like that. Um, but you know, as you get older, you have to make a decision for yourself. Am I gonna follow Jesus or am I not? And um, so I think, you know, when we when we met, we we were both believers, but we weren't really experiencing what God wants for us as his children. And we weren't in real fellowship with him. And so we really started to seek him together.

SPEAKER_07 5:15

And that really, you know, I I came from a no-church background at all. I would hear the church bells and always often wondered, what are those? I want to see what that is. And I felt a calling to that. And I would stay the night at a friend's house sometimes on a Saturday night, and I'd go to church with them, and that was my only experience, you know, and um until I got to high school. And then in high school I got to uh be an FCA, Fellowship Christian Athletes things, and that was kind of my first real exposure to it.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

Um so I think you know, with our first two, um we weren't really walking with the Lord like we are now with our younger ones. Um I would say I more so, you know, made sure that I would say that I probably was walking more than you were when Heiner was younger, but um, and I was into Bible studies and things like that, but I still didn't really know who God was, really. Um I'm really in the last you know, 10 years, it's been incredible. Um, but so so Caden did get to see that and grow up in that, um, and he had my family, and so I would say, you know, Caden was exposed to that. But I feel now as I've gotten older too, and just knowing who God is, like I we are really pouring into our younger kids, and when we are with our older kids, we're pouring in as much as we can. Um, because we the the revelations that we've had, we don't want them to have to wait until they're our age to get those revelations, because those revelations are so important for their lifelong relationship with the Lord and all that he has for them. And um, like even revelations, like we've talked earlier about just the revelation of sex in marriage and the importance of that, and even the purpose of marriage, things that I didn't even really understand fully. And I grew up, you know, with a wonderful family who were believers, and um, and I saw, and I, and so I imitated, right? I wanted to imitate that, but I didn't fully understand why and what was the why why marriage, why sex outside of marriage is bad. I just was told don't do it, right? Now I understand and I don't want that for my children because of how how what the revelation that I know about it, right? So there's so many revelations that now I want to teach my kids, and and I want them to have time with the Lord daily. Like we have God time daily. We we seek the Lord together, we pray, and I want them to want that for themselves at a very young age where they want to get in the word, they want to know their God, you know, and so I think we just have a different perspective now as we've grown in our faith to want to pour that those truths into them so that they can stand in a world that's full of lies. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

I think what's interesting in that is that you you look back and reflect on parenting and and and you know you have a child and then suddenly you're a parent. And the rat and the reality is for for most of us is that we are growing and learning at the same time that we are parenting. Yeah, like you are learning how to do these things, how to parent, how to discipline um while you're actually doing it. Uh so very rarely do you do it um perfectly, let's say. Because you're ever you ever do it perfectly because you're in that learning process, right? Um but I think but I think you bring up some good things that you're trying to plant. So you're trying to plant some foundational um foundational beliefs for them.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Right. Um and I think that takes me back to uh to I think Proverbs 22, 6, you know, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old, he will not depart from it. You know, very basic proverb concept. Train him up at a young uh young age. And that's what we're called to do. That's kind of the starting of it. I mean, the first start is you have the baby and you've gotta you've gotta feed them, protect them, nourish them. Uh, but then as they grow out of being a baby into a toddler, into uh a young child, you have to start moving into this. How do I start how do I start training them? How do I start educating them? How do I start demonstrating to them these practices that I want them to take into their lives?

SPEAKER_07 9:47

And how much of that's really important? I got to learn from my oldest to where I am now that things that I thought were important raising him aren't as important to me now. Uh we were big into sports and we had a travel team, so Sundays wasn't church, it was championship days, right? And so we didn't do a lot of church. We'd maybe go once a month to a uh Methodist church, and it was just we would go and then leave, you know, and it wasn't it wasn't a big part of our life. And I look back at the things like education was important, and and some of the early things that you train them, like you're talking about, you're keeping them alive in the beginning. Yeah, and then it's like from there, what do I what do I do to start to mold this child into the right way? So we did education, sports, and all those things. And uh it wasn't until later in his life that we really started to to focus in on God and all that. But if you haven't done that and you have older kids, it's not too late. Um, he's really been a sponge, he's um leading his wife now, he's doing a good job. He took a premarital class that was just instrumental for him to really learn some things about her. So I it's not too late for your for your older children. Um, and and he did his first fast the other day. I was very proud of him, you know. So it took me a long time to do mine.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

So one thing I'm hearing you say is about the intentionality, how important it is to be intentional as parents. And um that's I think it's very easy to react to the thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Can we pause?

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Did they ignore the sign?

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Yeah, like can't read. Is there some starting at four or five? What is starting? Start is it something starting at four or five? They can see the other side.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

I just want the sign.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Tell them to go to the other side around. Go to the other side.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Quietly.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Yeah, quietly.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Ridiculous. Yeah, just tell them not to come through that door though if they go to the other side. I mean at this door. Right here.

SPEAKER_07 12:07

Yeah, that's a big that's a big one. So where were you at? Let's go back to that.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Intentionality. Um and I'm gonna talk about uh not parenting with out of reactor reactionary. Oh, because I messed that up a lot.

SPEAKER_06 12:27

I did too. We get to talk about this.

SPEAKER_04 12:42

Ridiculous. Oh, you have to push that one on the right and cover the right first. Jeez.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

We're gonna have to get up like a steel bar. I know.

SPEAKER_04 12:58

Oh my gosh. I know.

SPEAKER_07 13:03

Be happy that they want to see your venue.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Yes, I'm happy. Joyful.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

I couldn't be sitting here otherwise.

SPEAKER_04 13:17

Are we recording still? Okay. So we're gonna just pick up from the clap.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Does he have to clap again?

SPEAKER_07 13:26

Yeah, just clap so she, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

So one thing I was hearing you say, Sean, is how important it is to be intentional in our marriage, or not in our marriage, or in our in our marriages, yes, but in parenting. You know, in parenting. And I think that's one area where I just I think we don't know what we don't know. And early on, I know I could be very reactionary, you know, and I will end up like arguing with these three-year-olds or 13-year-olds, whatever they might be, because I didn't have that intentionality and that um more just Christian perspective that the opportunity that it is to model Christ to our children and kind of say, okay, well, what does what would Jesus want them to know in this? What does Jesus want them to know about him in this situation? Um, and I think that that's a really a mind shift that takes some maturity for sure that I know I didn't have because I didn't really even know Jesus when I first became a mom, right? Um, so just pursuing that intentionality and not reacting to our kids, like being the adult, which can be tricky, especially when they're like really under your skin, which does happen.

SPEAKER_07 14:30

Well the Lord calls them a blessing, and so it must be true. Must be true.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

It is.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

I think uh I think I think with that is this this idea that um the kids are growing, they're gonna push boundaries, and you have to you have to recognize as a parent is hey, look, they're gonna start pushing the boundaries at sometimes. And and sometimes they're just that's them learning, and and sometimes unfortunately, it's the it's the outside influences of the fallen world pushing on them to to maybe do things or try things that they shouldn't. So it's kind of like as parents, you gotta be ready and recognize that, hey, guess what? They are going to push.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

And I think what's so important in that is boundaries. I think we're at least the previous generation to now, but you know, it's like, oh, just kids should be able to do what kids want to do, and you know, it's this free-for-all. And I'm like, no, children need boundaries and they need them from an early age because once they know those parameters, then they can have the freedom to thrive within those parameters. But I think it's really important as they're little, I think we need to say no quite often to establish them, those boundaries, so that as they get older, there can be fewer no's because they know the boundaries, and you can say yes more because they're they've grown up learning what that discipline because you know, God disciplines for our good. As parents, we discipline for good because we love them, we want what's best for them, and that's why we discipline. I feel like if you don't discipline your child, I kind of question, I mean, you love them, but are you really doing what's best for them? Yeah, I don't think so. And and discipline can look different, that's probably a different discussion, but really create those boundaries and discipline your kids. It's important, they need that.

SPEAKER_07 16:14

And and they do they do prefer structure because uh an unstructured child is is living in chaos and something that they just don't know and they don't know how to handle it and they lash out. You know, we even saw with Caden that he under under certain structure, he was he could be really good. And you know, he was just one that you couldn't give too many choices to, right? But but that's who he was, and and and we're working on on those things with him still, and he's maturing, you know, that helps. Yeah, and it was just a little later than like what we would have liked, but as long as he gets there and he and he knows the Lord and and he, you know, chases after that in his adulthood, that's all I can ask. Whatever he does is between him and God, you know, and what he does for a living.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

And I I think we need to recognize here we need to allow them to get to know the Lord. I know you're talking about the revelations that you're sharing with your kids and raising them in that, which is wonderful, and that gives them the foundation. But I also believe they have to have find the faith for themselves, you know. And our our daughter has, and she's really walking with the Lord now for a while, not so much. Our son is in his own on his own journey right now. Yep, and I know what I believe and what the Lord's assured me, but I I we have to give him the freedom to pursue that. We can't force our faith on our kids right now. We can raise them in it, and you know, hopefully they return to it as the word tells us tells us that they will.

SPEAKER_07 17:44

Yeah, and they'll be much more solidified in it when they come to it on their own, and wherever God meets them, they'll they'll be so much more solid in it, and they won't have the outside world affect them as much as just being told this is who you are and this is who Jesus is, and you don't know it for yourself, somebody can easily come in and deceive you, right? And and and teach you that it's not really real. Your parents don't know what they're talking about. So you're right, letting them find their way is awesome.

SPEAKER_04 18:10

And I also think too, part of helping them to know like who they are and who their identity is, is speaking the word over them. So, like throughout the day, like if something happens, I always bring it back to I try to bring it back to the word. Or if they do something like I try to bring it back to the word, and um, I'm not perfect at it, we're working on that, but faith comes from hearing, so we're helping them grow their faith by speaking the word over them.

SPEAKER_07 18:41

We get a we really do. I get a redo, you know. I get a I get to look at the things that I thought were important and go, eh, those aren't that really important. Like, you know, baseball for us was like you're gonna go to the major leagues, right? Yeah, that's that's so rare. So with mine, I'm just with with Hunter now, I'm just like, hey man, you're really good at it? Go play, have fun. You know, I'm not even coaching, which is so hard for me. It's just a different walk. But you know, we're at church every week. They love church. He loves to go to church, he loves the Lord, he loves to pray. He'll pray at dinner for us and stuff. And he's he's just turned five. So he is really it's really cool to see the the difference in these. You know, Hunter's getting it now, and he's older. I wish he I wish I had been better then, but I see him getting it now. Um and we just we do have the ability to speak into these children more so than I ever have in the past, and it's nice.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I think you guys just like just exactly spoke into Ephesians 6 4, which is fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord, right? So don't do things out of emotion and provoke anger and emotion between you and your child. But you do have to discipline, but you want to then point them, instruct them, point them to the Lord, show them how they see uh God in their daily lives.

SPEAKER_04 20:01

So, an interesting thing when uh I was reading in 1 Samuel 222 a couple days ago, and Eli the priest, he has two sons who are just really bad. They they are doing some horrible things. And um Eli, what's interesting is that he was a well-known priest, um, and God had told him that his family line would keep the priest. Um, it was the uh the Levis, I believe. Yeah, yeah, tribe of Levi. And um his sons were doing all these horrible things, taking people's sacrifices, and um, you know, when girls would come in, they would um, you know, I don't know what it was just debauch, it's all these things. Well, anyway, Eli just rebukes their the sons by tell like warning them, right? He's telling them all these things, he's warning them that they need to get their act together, but he doesn't take any action to he his words are just his words, there's no action behind them. And so it was interesting because God said, Why do you give your sons more honor than you give me? And Eli, because he only gave warnings but never followed through, where God is a God of his word, so we must be parents of our word. And uh we must not speak but also act. Children must learn that our words and actions go together, and we must not allow our emotions to control our parenting. And so what happened is God actually removed the uh the priesthood from the tribe of Levi. So Eli was actually punished in it because he didn't do, he didn't stand up and and parent. Um and so that was interesting. I read that whole thing and I was like, wow, that is, you know, when we think about parenting, like Like a lot of times it's just easier not to follow through. A lot of times it's easier just to be like, okay, you did bad, but you don't want to do the consequence, right? I struggled with that. I, you know, Sean has really helped me to see like, no, consequences are good. He struggled with the uh the love part of it. And so we've we've worked on this throughout the years, and God has given us so much grace and and taught us so much. And so now we can discipline and love. And it's not just discipline and it's not just love, but it's it's it's it's good. And so um I actually I had just read that and I went to go pick up Noah and Roman from school, and Noah got a report that he had thrown a book at a teacher that's not like Noah, and I was like, what in the world? But so we And he's two, and he's two, he's two, he's two, I'll give him that. Uh but we get he didn't like the book. Uh yeah, so I get in the car, and they always get like a little uh treat when they get in the car, and I just told Noah, like in my mommy heart, I wanted, I didn't want to not give him the treat, you know, like he loves his treat. But I had just read that and I felt like the Lord was like, Lauren, you need to train. And so in that moment, I was like, okay, Lord, like you specifically brought me to this a couple days ago, and he just brought and he told me, Lauren, you need to train. And so I was like, okay, you know what? You know what? You threw a book at your teacher, we don't do that, and so you can't have the the treat because that that's a privilege, you know, to have that treat. And it was heartbreaking because he cried and Roman's getting his treat, and it was so hard. Roman didn't throw a book, but he didn't throw a book, and but you know what? We got home and he had teared out all of his cries, and he, you know, he's he basically said, I'm not gonna do that again. And you know, that is, you know, because I used to be a parent that was like, I didn't want to do the hard discipline side of things, it was just too hard. I didn't want to sit, like he was he was all big about writing sentences, and I didn't want to sit and do that. I had things to do, but in order to get it done, I would have to sit and and make sure it got done, and I didn't want to do that, so I wanted to take the easy route. You're only gonna write 10. He wants a hundred, you get 10, we're good to go, you know.

SPEAKER_07 24:24

He learned nothing out of it.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

He learned nothing out of it, right?

SPEAKER_07 24:27

I did something my dad made me write a hundred sentences. He said, if you do it again, it's a thousand. I wrote a thousand. He goes, next time it's ten thousand. And that thousand took me a long time. I was like, I'm out, I'm done. Yeah, because you're serious and I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Well, I think what's interesting, what you're talking about, is this idea of so first disciplining, you need to discipline. You got all a lot of proverbs. I think there's five or six proverbs on on you know, discipline the child. Yeah, but then is this concept that we talked a lot about what's appropriate consequences? And I think from the time our kids were 10 till 16, this was a frequent discussion. Okay, what's the appropriate consequence in this situation, right? So that you're not parenting, you're not reacting in emotion and you're grounded forever. Yeah, that doesn't matter. We've got a discipline here. What's appropriate? What's an appropriate level of consequences for the age they are, the understanding of what they did, and how do you build on that?

SPEAKER_02 25:23

And I think another thing is you're talking, just reminding me, is think before you speak. Like it's so easy to say, oh, you did that, right? Well, then you're not ever gonna be able to, whatever, or you know, and it's like I have to enforce this.

SPEAKER_05 25:35

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

So really think about what you I hate to use the word threaten, but kind of threaten, of what those consequences will be before you say them because you want to you need to be a person of your word because we want to raise children who are people of their word. As you were saying earlier, God keeps his word. Yeah, so we'd want to make sure that what we're telling them is something that we will enforce.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

But also when you and and to be careful what you say, right? Because when you spew things that, you know, you're stupid, or you're you're planting seeds of death with those words over your children. You don't want to do that, you know? Or even you're bad.

SPEAKER_07 26:13

You're such a bad kid. Right? You say that Seth.

SPEAKER_04 26:17

And I think we we, you know, and that's tends to be reactionary. And so I would just say, Lord, give me a moment to to process to have peace and help me to to to speak with love, with your words. Like, and I think a big part of parenting is seeking the ultimate parent in prayer and asking him, What do we do in this situation? How do we train in this situation? He's he's the the ultimate father, and he he he's their ultimate father.

SPEAKER_07 26:51

I think another important part of parenting is not sheltering your kids. You know, there's a lot of people now that just let their kids do whatever, there's really no consequences or those things, or they put them in bubble wrap and won't let them out, or you know, those kind of things. And you know, somebody once told me it's better if they fall when they're young than when they're older because it's a smaller fall. And that can be a you know, physical fall, or that could be like, you know, he got in trouble for stealing a piece of gum, and there's consequences to it and those kind of things. But if you if you protect them from that, what happens when they're 18 and some friends talk them into stealing a car or something like that? Let them learn the lessons early and and get through the pain of the consequences and and what happens and what consequences mean. And and you'd rather them do that when they're little. Yeah. When you can you can shelter, you can protect, you can teach, you can, you can learn from your mistakes before they get 18 and all of a sudden they've done something and they're in jail, right? Or or they kill them, get killed in a car wreck or something like that. You know, it's better to let them learn to crash on a tricycle doing something, wipe up the band, you know, the blood, whatever, and and and not not let them do their first mistakes at 18, 19, 20.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

I think as I look back, it's one of the big reflections I have is that you know, when they're young, right, you have this baby at first and it's about nourish, protect, feed, and they become a toddler and you're you're still in this big, big protection and feed and nourish mode. But then they start to become a young child and uh middle school child, and you need to start giving them more boundaries, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:29

You still want wider boundaries, wider boundaries, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

So it's you have to start letting those boundaries, those boundaries are real small when they're two or three years old. Well, suddenly when they're 10, those boundaries start to grow a little bit because you you need to let them fall occasionally, then you gotta put consequences in place. But it's this idea somewhere along you have this shift in your mindset when at first you're like, I'm protecting this small child, to now I'm like, wait a minute, I need to make the shift that I am building. I am building a future disciple of Christ and a functional adult, right? And it's got to make that mental shift somewhere of what am I doing? I'm not protecting a child anymore. I'm trying to build a functional, productive adult who is a lover of Christ. Right. And that's a big mind shift that somewhere in there you have to start letting them, you know, start to grow those boundaries and move away from just pure protection.

SPEAKER_07 29:22

And they can earn those boundaries, right? They earn a little bit of freedom and they earn a little bit of freedom. And then when they when they do something wrong, that freedom gets pulled back a little bit until you know you get them to that point where they can handle that freedom. And you know, God's word, people think it's so restrictive, but it's freedom. It's freedom from the pain and the consequences if you walk outside of those rules, right? So we have to teach our kids, you know, hey, we're not gonna let you play in the street because you're gonna get hit by a car, right? Those kind of things. Well, God doesn't let us do certain things because he doesn't want us to have the consequences and the pain and the suffering around those things. So I think for us, it's teaching kids that boundaries are really good. You know, sex inside of marriage, that's boring to the world. But it's so great for your marriage, your life, your your heart, your spirit, your soul, all of that stuff. It's where it belongs. And it's where God provided for just a naked and unashamed. You know, how many people that are out there right now are naked and unashamed? Not very many. And they have a lot of baggage and damage. You know, it's it's hard for these young kids these days to want to walk in that because they're ridiculed by the world.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

It's a confusing world.

SPEAKER_07 30:29

It is a confusing world.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

You're just looking at what the world's telling you. There's a lot of confusion out there.

SPEAKER_07 30:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

And so I just think the home needs to be a place where they can know their identity. And one thing I think you guys have to relate to each other.

SPEAKER_07 30:41

I'm sorry, you're right. And what you guys have done well is speak to your child about most of those things. You don't hide from things. You you're what I've seen from you two is you guys talk about everything. Nothing's off limits, nothing's off the table. You know, and I think too many Christians are like sex, like you said earlier. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Why? You know, teach me about these things, show them why, you know, what the damages and things are. So I think that educating our children and being able to have those conversations, not just a religious God says don't do it, don't do it. Right? That doesn't mean much to a child.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Yeah, there was nothing off limits for us, you know, at the kitchen table, because we really tried to have dinner, dinner together pretty much every night, as much as we could, which we really held to. And there was nothing off limits that we couldn't talk about, they couldn't ask us about. And yeah, there were some times I was like, ew, I kind of wish they were asking us about that. I mean, but actually, yeah, but it was, I think it was a good environment for them. So because we want them to ask us, don't go ask your friend about sex things. Don't ask them, they're getting it from watching porn.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

I mean, come talk to us, you know, and you have to be willing to have those weird, awkward conversations.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

And let them not be weird and awkward as much as you can.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

Like it has to just be okay. This is the parent, it might be weird and awkward as well. Let me do it, not so much, but yeah, especially masturbation, it gets a little awkward. Just yeah. But what you know, I think that's that's a big part because parents are like, oh, this is too awkward. I don't want to talk about this. I think being a parent that's like, no, this is the space that it needs to happen in, and being willing to come to the table and have those those conversations that can be difficult.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

And what just struck me as you're saying that is, you know, we talk about if something is from the enemy, he wants it hidden, he wants it in darkness. So if you're feeling, ew, I don't want to talk about this, you want to hide it, that's not God. God shines light on things and he wants us to bring things out and to talk about them.

SPEAKER_04 32:44

And yeah, so and I know we need to close, and I would say one last thing is you know, my mom always would pray that um whatever the enemy was doing would be exposed in my life. And I promise you it always happened. I was like, how does she know this? How does she know this, you know? And um, and I've talked to other people who do that, and it and the Lord is so good, he always exposes it. And so as a parent, I would say pray that prayer, Lord, expose any areas that the enemy is working in my child's life, because then you can battle for them, you can talk with them, you can sh bring it to the light, right? When it's hidden, it's way worse than bringing it to the light. It can get smush smushed, you know. Um, so anyway, that would just be an encouragement too, is like just praying those that prayer. And God is so faithful, he wants it to be exposed so that you can, you know, have him come in and help deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

And just remembering to pray for your children, like even from when they're little, start praying for their future spouse. Yes, even when they're tiny bitty babies, you know, just constantly be in prayer for our kids. We have to go to intercession, be in intercession for them, and um, we have to battle for them. Yeah, yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

So speaking of prayer, speaking of prayer, as we run out of time, why don't you pray for a second?

SPEAKER_02 34:06

I will. God, thank you. Thank you, God, for who you are. Thank you that you give many of us the privilege or the opportunity to be parents. God, if anybody is listening to this and they are desperately wanting to be parents and they have not, that has not happened for them yet. I just pray that you be with them and guide them, give them the desires of their heart, Lord. Um, help them to seek you more and more. And I just I pray for um for comfort for them and for that, um, for you to just be present with them. And God, for those of us who are parenting, whether they are newborns or they and three are three and five-year-olds or 21 and 24-year-olds, whatever the case may be, God be with us and guide us as parents, Lord. Help us to just point our children to you. Help us to seek you because you are our father. You are the ultimate role model. And um, you are faithful. So we thank you for your faithfulness and we just um give our kids to you, Lord, and trust you because you love them more than we ever possibly could, which is hard to imagine, but we know that you do. So, God, we trust you to love them and to protect them. Help us to release them to you and to parent them well. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Amen. Amen. Thanks, Heidi. Well, thanks for joining us on uh Love for a Lifetimes Authentic Marriage Podcast. Uh, we're Chris and Brooke. They're Sean and Lauren. We pray that this blessed you, and we hope to see you next time.