Mothers and Daughters

This Mother’s Day Month, I’m honored to share a very special episode of Bernitha Rena Relates titled “Mothers & Daughters,” featuring Pastor Alicia Johnson and Angela Johnson.

In this heartfelt conversation, we explore the sacred beauty of the mother-daughter bond through the lenses of faith, healing, legacy, and restoration. Pastor Alicia Johnson, CEO of Longevity Behavioral Health, brings powerful insight from her work in trauma recovery and family healing, while Angela Johnson, founder of Angela’s Soul Restoration, shares her passion for helping women walk in wholeness and freedom.

Together, they offer a moving and honest conversation that speaks to the strength of family, the power of healing, and the grace of God working through generations.

Listen now on your favorite podcast platform and share it with a mother, mother figure, daughter, or any beautiful woman who could use this message of hope and restoration.

Disclaimer:

The content shared on the Bernitha Rena Relates Podcast is for informational and inspirational purposes only. It is not intended to be professional advice—legal, financial, medical, or otherwise. Any actions taken based on this content are at the listener’s own discretion and risk. We assume no liability. Always consult with a qualified professional before making decisions that may impact your health, life or wellbeing. 

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About the podcast: Bernitha Rena Relates, a faith centered podcast where real stories meet purpose. I sit down with authors, leaders, entrepreneurs, and everyday people to share honest conversations that inspire growth, healing, and transformation.

Each episode will encourage you to renew your mind, strengthen your faith, and walk confidently in your purpose. If you are navigating life transitions or seeking clarity, this space is for you.

Subscribe and join the journey. Your next breakthrough could be one conversation away.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:01

Welcome to the season two finale of the Bernita Renee Relates podcast. I'm your host, Bernita Renee. And just in time for Mother's Day, I'm honored to sit down with the incredible mother-daughter duo, Pastor Alicia Johnson, her daughter, Miss Angela Johnson, and we'll even get a special word from Angela's daughter, Shiloh. Today we'll discuss how their lives and work reflect healing, faith, and the power of generational restoration. So, first and foremost, I want to welcome you to the Bernita Renee Relates Podcast. Thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome. I'm so happy to have you here and Miss Alicia and Miss Angela Johnson joining us today. I want to know about you and sort of how you work together. As I started doing some research about you both online, initially I thought you were sisters. And then I realized, okay, you're mom and daughter. And so I really want to have more of an understanding of how you work together today.

SPEAKER_07 1:10

Yeah, so my mom, we're like best friends. Like when I tell you, we have always been close. But I think when I was in college and I got pregnant my junior year of college, and I hit rock bottom, and my mom was there for me. She was a little disappointed because she told me to leave that man alone. So you know how that I do. It was such a blessing. My daughter is the apple of my eye, and she actually changed my life. God used her to really bring me closer to him. But I think that's when our relationship just really got closer and we've been able to help each other heal. We're very close, but we're vulnerable. We're transparent. We apprayed each other out of some really dark pits. And when I first started the Naked Truth Redeemed conference, I started in 2021, right after the pandemic. And I told mom, I was like, God gave me a vision and I want you right by me, right alongside me. And so my mom is a powerhouse. She is very discerning and we work so well together because you know we both speak, but my mom brings that pastoral care, but also that clinical background. And it just meets everybody where they're at. And it she just brings fire. And we've just been able to be honest and transparent, create a space for women to feel safe, for them to feel seen, for them to feel whole. And it takes experience the move of God. Like we take no glory. This is all God. All of our stories, things that we've been able to overcome, things that we've been able to walk through is what we talk about. And so a lot of women, they come and you're like, oh my gosh, I didn't expect you to be that real. I didn't expect you to be that honest. But that's so important nowadays. People they don't want the fluff. They want the real, they want the true. And they're hungry for something new. And so I've just had the opportunity to be able to serve. We serve together. I love it. We don't clash when we serve. It's just the Holy Spirit just allows us both to speak and we just allow him to do his thing.

SPEAKER_08 3:07

I think it's every parent's dream to see their children flourish. They had the opportunity to see God break generational curses slash traumas off of my life, things that I had to walk through. And to actually see that me breaking things in my life have actually catapulted Angela in things in her life. She is my inspiration. D'Angela was one of the first people in my family to go to college. There were no college graduates in my family. And Angela went to college. And it was her last year in college that God told me to go to college. Wow. Yeah. And so I was inspired by her because Angela, she went to Clark Atlanta University on a provost scholarship. So she had to have a 3.5 grade point average all the way through. And I remember her going in, having trouble with her papers and everything. And I started helping her with her papers. And then she started getting A's. And I was like, you know what? When you walk across that stage, I'm going to jump up there and grab that hug. Because that's mine too, you know. And when God told me to go to college, Angelo is actually my inspiration for going. And so she was a generational curse breaker as well in the family. She's my youngest child. I have two older daughters and a son. Okay. And Anne is the baby. And she has always been so honoring to her father and I, you know. And when she says that we have helped each other through the darkest times and have understood each other, that's a real statement. So I think God really paired us together.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

Wow. So I want to get your perspective when you say you walk through some dark times, Miss Alicia. Can you sort of take me back to what you would consider a dark time before the Lord was able to bring you through those things?

SPEAKER_08 5:19

26 years ago, I had a mental breakdown. What runs in my family and what causes me to be so passionate about generational trauma is my family is riddled with mental illness. When I was eight years old, was my earliest memory of trauma is I was molested by a piano teacher. And the way that situation played out was I told my parents and they kept questioning me over and over again. And then they finally called the police. And when they called the police, the police came over and they questioned me over and over again. And then they left my house. And about 15 minutes later, they brought the man that molested me to the house. And he was visibly distraught and upset. And then he kneeled down on the ground and took me by the hand and said I would never do anything like that to anybody while the police were patting him on his back and asking him to forgive them for disturbing him. And they walked him out of my house, and from that day forward, no one said anything to me again about that incident. It was like it never happened. But in this eight-year-old little mind was I'm not worthy. What did I do to ask for this? I must have done something. I'm not worth being fought for or defended. That lie was planted in me to have to deal with that all by myself. And so over the years, every time something happened to me, every time an abuse happened, I was blaming myself. So my self-worth and my identity was being stripped away from me. And with my identity went my voice as well. So when I began to be triggered, I began to act out like an eight-year-old. Because at eight, that was a fragmentation that happened in my soul that caused me not to grow up and not mature emotionally and psychologically. So I acted out as an eight-year-old. And when I was 11 years old, I suffered from depression where I had bleeding ulcers at 11 years old. So I have been in and out of psychiatrist chairs almost all my life. After I had given my life over to Christ at 23, I thought just giving my life to Christ was going to take care of all of that. But the thing that I needed to do is I needed to go back and process out my pain. And I never did. What most people do is they tuck their pain away so that they can keep moving, right? But pain is going to come out somewhere. It is going to manifest itself somewhere. So 26 years ago, there were some personal things going on in my life. And the way I explain it is that I had a trunk. And every time something painful would happen, I'd lift up that trunk, put it in, and lock it. Well, during this season in my life, I was going through something, unlocked that trunk to put it in, and it opened up like a Pandora box. And what I was used to doing, scrambling all the pieces back together. They weren't coming back together this time. So I felt like I was in a dark hole. And we lived in Atlanta at the time. And I would drive and I wouldn't come to myself until it said, welcome to Alabama, welcome to North Carolina, welcome to Tennessee. And all of a sudden I would come to myself. And my husband said to me, babe, we need to get you some help. And so I went to a psychologist. And after her first assessment, she said, you know, Alicia, there's so much that you have to unpack. You're going to have to get some medication. And so she put me on anti-anxiety medication and two antidepressants. And we started our journey. And it was a three and a half year journey. And that's when God started taking me back to those places of pain. I admire Angela so much because it was during those times that she, even as a little child, she would pray for me. And I would be in my room in the dark, and Angela would come and she would pray for me. She would literally lay hands on me and pray for me. I mean, this child has been called. She's no child. She has really been called. Up until about maybe five years ago, I was really going through something because the word of God says that we are being healed. We are being saved. We're being delivered. So that's an ongoing thing. So there was some residue left behind, and God was dealing with me. And Angela was at my house one night and I was really going through. And she had been spending the night, she came out of that bedroom and she started praying for me. And I mean, there was literal deliverance that happened in my life because of her prayer. So I really thank God for her.

SPEAKER_06 10:26

Wow. Oh, that's beautiful. So when you were going through that crisis, as you called it 26 years ago, if you don't mind sharing, what were some of the things that were in that trunk that you felt like it was time for you to let go of?

SPEAKER_08 10:45

Wow. Okay. Well, my fear of failure, my fear of identity, who I was. I remember God asking me one time, he says, Alicia, what is your favorite color? And I said, I don't have one. He said, You're right. He said, Your color is everybody else's color. Wow. Yeah. He says, when somebody says, My color's red, you say, Oh, so is mine. I love red. Somebody says, My color's blue, and you would say, Oh, I love blue. And so that that was like the beginning when I realized I don't know myself. I was being what everybody wanted me to be because I was so afraid of rejection. And then another time he asked me, he says, Alicia, who are you? And like most Christians, there are certain scriptures that we put in our memory, right? Yeah, I just flowed out. I was like, I am the head and not the tail. I'm above and not beneath. I'm more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. And he got silent. I thought he was gonna go, good girl. He got silent. And then he spoke. He said, and you don't believe not one of those things you said.

SPEAKER_06 12:00

Wow. What do you think had made you such a people pleaser and such a person is just reciting what you thought you should say? The trauma in my life.

SPEAKER_08 12:10

Wanting love and affirmation and confirmation from people, needing the love of a man. I had a mother wound and a father wound. My father left us when I was 11. My mother being bipolar, she was not very nurturing, could be harsh even. When my father left, she became very depressed. I'm the oldest of five. So with her depression, she became abusive as well. So I was always trying to measure up and never measuring up. So it was a lot. And then I was afraid. That messed me up because being molested at eight, you go, God, please don't let this ever happen to my kids. And then at the time, my oldest daughter was pregnant. And then my second oldest daughter was pregnant. And we were losing everything financially. We were losing everything. And the enemy was telling me, you deserve this. You're being punished. It's coming back to haunt you. It's coming back to get you. And I lost faith. I lost faith. Even though I had been saved for several years, my husband and I were in ministry at the time and we were helping people. And I just was like, this is not real. This walk with God is not real. And I just gave up hope. And it became like a dark hole. And I see now that God was just saying, it's time. I can't let you continue to walk in these lies. You've got a deal. So he had to take me to that place of total brokenness so that he could put me back together. Just like Angela is talking about that fragmentation of our souls. We all have a destiny. Before the foundation of the world, God called each one of us to accomplish something. Well, the enemy of our soul wants to make sure that doesn't happen. Right. So in order for us to get to where God has for us, God's got to put us back together. We can't get there broken. We can't help people broken. We're so busy putting on clothes or garments that cover really who we are, especially as women. Well, no, no, period. But we feel it more. Absolutely. We don't come together as women. We compare ourselves with other women. We're in constant competition. We could just be as beautiful as anybody and dress and everything, but yet we feel broken inside. We got to take off those garments, those false identities and put on the identity of Christ. You know? Oh my gosh. It's so liberating.

SPEAKER_06 15:20

It is so liberating. Beautiful, Miss Alicia. Angela, if you don't mind, can you take us back to when you came to your mom and you told her you had been victimized? Can you take us back to that and sort of walk us through that story?

SPEAKER_07 15:39

Yeah, so I was five. So I just went to her and she could probably remember a little bit more, but I was very young. I don't really remember the act of what happened to me. But I remember me going to my mom and saying, he touched my koochie koo. We had that word, you know how we had those words. Yeah, yeah. It's usually, you don't touch that. And and mommy said, Tell me again, what did he do? And she basically had me show her what he did. And then after that, it wasn't talked about as that much. I know my parents had trying to press charges.

SPEAKER_08 16:18

Yeah. And after we pressed charges, the child protective agency said that we had coached Angela on her answer. So they dropped the case because they said that it sounded like Angela was coached. Yeah. And after that, we kind of dropped it because we didn't know where to go with it. But the courts had said they weren't going to pursue the case, and we dropped it. It wasn't until Angela was talking to her sister one day. Yeah. Because Angela had forgotten it too. And we really didn't mention it.

SPEAKER_07 16:54

And then that's when it came up. Yeah, and my sister, we were driving from Dallas. We were visiting Dallas and we were driving home to Atlanta. And I was just kind of confused. I was like, I don't understand why I'm very promiscuous. And, you know, at this time I was dating my child's father who was in a relationship. He had a girlfriend. And so I was the other woman. And so I was dealing with just settling so much in that relationship. And I was just confused. I was just telling my sister, like, what is it? And she was like, you know what, Angie? She said, This may have a lot to do with you being molested at five. And I'm like, what? And so I had to talk to my parents about it because again, that was nothing that was brought up, but I knew something wasn't right with me. It was a little off as far as like my mindset, and just I was just exposed pretty early. And then I had a conversation with my parents and we talked it out. And my parents even asked me to forgive them for not bringing it up. That's why we talk about just those hidden secrets because a lot of times when you don't talk about it, children are wondering why am I behaving like this? Why am I thinking like this? And so I spent a lot of my teenage years wanting to be seen, wanting to be validated, wanting to be the center of attention. And here it is, I have wonderful parents. My parents were present, my father's in my life, and I'm still settling for the scraps of men. And so it just really helped me to identify those broken places and where they had all began. And then really saying, okay, God, I really need your help. I can't do this on my own. And just deciding that I was gonna get the help that I needed.

SPEAKER_06 18:33

So what did help look like for you, Angela? I say that because when Alicia was talking, she said she was prescribed medication and the counseling, and then also the Lord, right? You got to get in your word, you gotta pray those things and ask the Lord for help. But I think it's like a one, two, three, four knockout punch versus so many people I think will go either I'm gonna take medication or I'm gonna go to counseling or I'm just gonna pray about it. But sometimes you do need a combination of things what you do to help you through your trauma.

SPEAKER_07 19:06

Yeah, well, to be honest, I did nothing at first. I was, I think I was just really just trying to figure it out on my own. And then I just noticed that I was still repeating the same cycles and finding myself in toxic relationships over and over again. And so I I don't, I think it was maybe like 2020 is when I said, I'm gonna start counseling. So I started counseling and I had already was in a toxic relationship back in 2017. I got pregnant, got an abortion, and that just really took me like a spiral slope. I mean, I was losing my mind. I felt like I was suicidal, just so much guilt, so much shame. I was asking myself, how did I do this? How did I do that? And I know it was because the fear of being this single mom and who's gonna want me with two children. And I got two crazy baby daddies. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, this cannot be my life. I want more for myself. And so I started the healing. I went through the abortion recovery. And so I think it was just an ongoing healing. After I went through the abortion recovery, I started counseling in 2020. Our church that my parents are on the board with pastors there. They had a freedom group. It's a 12-week intensive program that really gets into the root of your soul and the lies that the enemy has and just strongholds in your life. So I went through freedom and then I started serving as a freedom leader. And that even helped me because a lot of people don't understand or don't realize that you even get more healed when you're serving other people. We think that we have to have it all figured out, but we will never have it all figured out. And just like my mom said, God is constantly delivering and healing and restoring us. And so I noticed that when I began to serve and become a leader, that was even helping me pull that onion layer even deeper. So to answer your question, at first I was hard-headed. I was like, I don't need no counseling, I don't need this. And then I was like, well, okay, Lord, maybe I do. Maybe I need to have somebody just have a fresh set of eyes on what's really going on in my life and really help me in the healing process. Right.

SPEAKER_06 21:05

And how did you see your life start to change as you started to heal and even help others?

SPEAKER_07 21:12

Yeah. So after I was leading a couple of semesters in Freedom Group, the Lord gave me the vision to start the Nick Get Truth Redeemed. And that was in 2021. So I got an LLC. I had my first conference. It was back in those days with COVID. Some ladies still had their mask on. Some people, they were like, don't touch me. But I was obedient. The Lord said, do a conference, and I had it at a clubhouse in an apartment complex in Frisco. The next year, I think I had two conferences, and then the next year I had another one, and then I wrote a book last year. And so this past July was my fifth conference. And I just see, like, even in between that, I hit rock bottom, even in between serving and still, okay, God, what do I need to do? I'm still struggling. So I was still serving, but I was serving in the place where there were certain things. Times where I felt like I needed to sit down for a season to really work on me because I wasn't in a place to be pouring out. I needed to be poured into. And so I spent time just in God's presence, going back to counseling, even going through some deliverance and just breaking some things off of my life that were that really had me in a stronghold. And God just has been so faithful just to let me know that he didn't waste any of that. All of the pain, all of the shame, all of the guilt. It's really true when he says he turns ashes to beauty. That's my story.

SPEAKER_06 22:35

I think it's important for people to hear that healing is not always linear. As a matter of fact, it rarely is, right? And so sometimes the very things that you've been delivered from or that you've helped other people overcome, it could come back around. And when it does, you got to dig back in, you got to dig deep. And I think it's okay to tell people, hey, I'm taking some time for myself. How did you communicate and handle that with the people around you?

SPEAKER_07 23:02

Yeah, I have a pretty small circle. I had my parents who are my accountability and just my covering and close friends that I had just protecting me and covering me because I didn't realize that after I wrote my book, he sees you, I was gonna be tested in some areas. Again, I find myself being tested in the same area and failing that test. And then the Lord having to say, okay, this is where I still have my finger on this. And so after I wrote my book, and I was like, no, I'm not gonna have another conference. So last year was just a way of me breaking off some relationships that were no longer doing any good in my life, and just asking the Lord to really restore me because I felt like I had lost my voice again. And so it took a minute to get my voice back, and now I'm coming back harder and stronger than ever. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_06 23:51

I love that accountability and I love that openness because I grew up in the church in a time where everybody had, and I don't know, that may still be the case, but everybody had two faces. You have the face that you were at church, and then you have the face that you were in your real life, the one that you show to people. And I think it's important for us, especially as Christian women, to say, you know what? Sometimes we fail test. You know what? Sometimes we need deliverance again. I just think that's so important. And I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability enough to say, yeah, I didn't always make the right choices, but I stepped back and I was honest because Satan can use those things to get into our minds to say, you're saying one thing, but you're living another way, and just kind of move you off your path. So, you know, I just appreciate your vulnerability in that way. Absolutely. Thank you, Bernie.

SPEAKER_08 24:45

Yeah, God says the righteous man falls seven times, but he gets up. Yeah. It's not a failure when you fall, yeah, unless you decide that you're just gonna stay there.

SPEAKER_06 24:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:00

There's not one person in the Bible that did not fail.

SPEAKER_04 25:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:04

And he doesn't want you to stay there, right? He doesn't want you to wallow in it, he doesn't want you to make excuses for it. He wants to purify you in it and redeem it. And that's one of the things it started with how God started healing with me, and that was transparency. It says, confess your faults one to another, and you will be healed. So it is in that confession. The Lord said to me one time, he says, if you tell on yourself, it disarms the enemy. Yeah. See, because he's an accuser. If you're telling on yourself, like I'm uh a graduate, I got a master's degree. I can't spell nothing. If it wasn't for spell check, get it. And I would be so afraid when I was speaking in front of a crowd, and if I had to write something down that I was gonna misspell it and then I was gonna look stupid. Well, I lead with that. If I've got to write something on a whiteboard or whatever, I go, you know what, you guys, look, I cannot spell. And so if it looks like it, if it sounds like it, it's that. You don't even have to worry about correcting me. And you will be amazed at how many people in the audience go, I can't spell either. I can't spell either. So it transparency gives people permission to take their guard down. Like with my counseling, as I was in college, they were like, do not self-disclose. That's one thing counselors do not do. They do not self-disclose. And I'm like, not me. I am going to lead with my testimony. A new client, I tell them my story. And some counselors, it takes four or five or six counseling sessions for the person to feel good enough to start sharing their good, bad, and ugly. One session with me. You're telling me all your business. Why? Because I just told you all of mine.

SPEAKER_06 27:01

I love it. I love the transparency. Yeah, because I certainly think Satan will use that against us. I know for myself, even though I knew the Lord had been tugging on me to do something. Uh, I don't know if it was in radio, it ended up being a podcast, but something in public speaking. And I knew for years that he'd been tugging on my heart as it relates to that. But I had a lot of insecurities about being a little country girl and having a twang and not having the middle America accent and all of that. I ended up boys. Thank you. And so I just decided I'm gonna step out. The Lord laid in my heart. You step out, and as a matter of fact, you just identify yourself as a southern woman so that anybody when they're reading anything about your bio, they're like, well, she did say she was a southern woman. So if she's got that twang, she let people know up front. But that was certainly something that I had an insecurity about. Satan was trying to keep me from moving forward with what the Lord had spoken to me about as it relates to my life. Another thing I want to ask you, ladies, is what are some of the common struggles that you see among women as it relates to their emotional wounds? I shared I had insecurities about my voice, but are there things that you see women consistently struggle with? And how do you help them gently face those things?

SPEAKER_08 28:18

Yeah, it is definitely self-sabotage. It is feeling that we have to compare. It's discontentment. Okay. Women struggle with a lot of discontentment.

SPEAKER_06 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 28:30

And what that breeds is jealousy and envy.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

I've never heard anyone say that. What do you mean by discontentment? Because it doesn't sound well and happiness.

SPEAKER_08 28:40

It means that I'm not satisfied with who I am. Where I'm at. I'm looking at someone. It's comparison, and comparison breeds ungratefulness. You know what I mean? Yes. Godliness with contentment has great gain. I remember in my healing journey, God said, I am getting ready to introduce you to Alicia, and I guarantee you you're gonna love her. Oh my goodness. See, until I fell in love with Alicia, I wanted to be everybody else. Looking at everybody else's house, everybody else's husband, everybody else's position, you know, and that is discontentment. Because if I'm looking at everybody else and what they have and what they're doing, then I cannot be satisfied with what God is doing in me. Matter of fact, I can't even see what God is doing. Right. Because what God is doing in me is minimized compared to everybody else. And it is such a lie, it is such a stealer from us. So this is the way we do as women. Okay. We're like, I cannot help you because I don't want you to be better than me. Yeah. Okay. Even if we were podcasters, we would be going, yes, do it, girl. Because guess what? Can't nobody do it like you. If we were podcasters, couldn't nobody do it like me. See, you can't take something from me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:15

Because even though we might be doing the same thing, you can't do it like me. Because everybody's so unique. And even when you mentioned we're talking about you're looking at someone else and what God is doing with them, that stuff is so personal. You don't even really know what God is wanting that other person. That's right. Because it's so unique and so you're just looking at the outside. You don't have any idea what to go. No idea inside. Yeah, that is amazing. What an incredible insight. And it's so true. It's so simple, but it's so profoundly true.

SPEAKER_08 30:48

Yeah. It keeps us from being authentic with one another. And like Angela mentioned, she said, people are looking for the real. And they know when they see it. Yeah. That this is one of the things that God has helped us with tremendously because we try to lead, God help us with authenticity. What you see is what you get. We're not trying to please everybody. Everybody's not going to receive our story. And guess what? Our story is not for everybody. Yeah. Like when Angela was doing the conference. It was who's going to come? Well, it's like God's got a people. Yeah. The ones that are supposed to be there will be there. For the longest, it was only 12 people who have been.

SPEAKER_07 31:46

I said, Oh, I can't mean he's paying this money for this video and be embarrassed. Like, what if nobody shows up? But the Lord even on me about that because he was like, Angela, what if only one shows up? And he showed me there was an apostle that I was listening to, Apostle Tommy Arami, and he said, if Jesus was on this earth today and he had social media, you would see that he was only following one and he had 12 followers. Sometimes we're so bent on how many people Jesus turned the whole world upside down with 12 disciples. Yes. God can do so much in a small amount of people, small numbers, but I don't know why in 2025 we think that if we don't have 14K followers, then we're not valuable. And I think God wants to get us out of that mindset. And I think that's one of the things about self-sabotaging. I think that a lot of women deal with that because they're comparing themselves with other influencers or people who are doing something similar. But who I'm called to, you may not be called to. I can reach a certain amount of people that you'll never be able to reach. But you also have people who are called to you as well. We've been called and set apart for such a time as this, but we're not going to be doing the same thing. There's souls that have our names on it, and we don't have to worry about the competition. In fact, I believe that as women, if we collaborate and come together, we are a force to be recommended. I always think about Woman King, the movie. I love that movie.

SPEAKER_06 33:14

I'm a Viola Davis super fan. Once you start talking about Viola Davis, once you put her book out, call my friends. They will tell you. I'm sending out books to everybody. I pre-order books. My friends, I'm a Viola Davis super fan. But, anyways, I digress. I'll talk about her all night all day.

SPEAKER_07 33:33

But yes, love it. Yes, I just love when we can collaborate. We're just God's warriors, and we can do so much together instead of us being so catty and petty about just the small things that at the end of the day really don't even matter. Don't even matter.

SPEAKER_08 33:50

A while back, my husband, we had a small group, and my husband had the men and I had the women. And there was this young man in my husband's group, and he kept telling me about his fiance that he wanted to come to my group. So I was looking forward to it. And so she finally shows up and I open up the door, and this woman is, oh my God, drop dead, gorgeous me. Every hair was in place, her eyelashes were great, her makeup was on, oh my God. It was just like somebody painted her, right? Yeah. Perfect body, the whole bit. And she came in and she sat in the group and she was just kind of like had her arms crossed, and you know, like this is boring type of thing. So we got ready to leave and we joined the guys and the girls together, and we're getting ready to pray. And the Lord gave me a word for her. Okay. And I told God, I said, No, he said, I want you to tell her this. I said, No. He goes, Why? I said, because she's just beautiful. She's not gonna listen to what I have to say. He said, Tell her. And so after arguing with God, I finally gave her the word. And when I gave her the word, she just broke down. I mean, ugly cry. Ugly cry. What did you say? Remember what she said? Yes, I remember. I told her, I said that God wanted to take everything that she had put on off because he wanted to adorn her with his story, right? And I can't remember every little thing I said, but it hit her. And she just started crying, ugly, ugly cry. And then right when I finished, she just powdered herself back up. Got all gorgeous again. She received it and then she like pushed it away.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 35:41

And then the Lord said to me when she left, He said, Don't, and this is how the Lord speaks to me, don't you ever look at someone and size them up and be intimidated by what they look like.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 35:57

And not do what I told you to do.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 36:00

He said, her hair wasn't hers. Her eyelashes weren't hers. Her boobs weren't hers. Now, this is what God's telling me. Her butt wasn't hers. Nothing on her was real. But yet you looked at her and said, she's beautiful, so therefore I can't give her what God tells me to give her. I was looking at her outward beauty, but this woman was broken in her spirit. Yeah. And so often God will give us a word for other women. But because of our intimidation, we will not do what God tells us to do because we're looking at will they receive? Because I look like a grasshopper in my own eyes. I look less. Yeah. In my own eyes. And there we got the word of the Lord, something that's going to bring life to somebody. And we're intimidated because of what we see in ourselves.

SPEAKER_06 37:01

Yeah. That's so interesting because I've certainly have experienced that a few times in my life where I felt an inkling to say something and I didn't act upon it when I regretted it later on. Or like the other day, I was at the pool with my daughter, and a young girl just came over to me. She's a lifeguard and she was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to ask you this. I'm so embarrassed. But is there anything that you need me to pray for you about? She had the courage to do that. I admired her so much. This little girl, she was like 16 years old, right? And I said, as a matter of fact, I was just on the treadmill praying, and I just said, Lord, thank you. You saw me. Well, yeah, but what would you say to someone who may have that inkling, but maybe they are afraid? Like I said, the young girl, she delivered the message. She was very timid in it. But what would you say to someone who may have a message but may be afraid to deliver it?

SPEAKER_08 37:57

I would say what Angela says all the time. Do it scared. Do it scared. Yeah. God cannot use us. We're people pleasers. Paul says in Galatians, he said, if I were a people pleaser, it is impossible for me to please God. See, who are we serving? Who are we representing? Now, if it's about us and ourselves, then we're like, oh, I don't want them to look at me bad. I don't want them to think I'm crazy. I don't want to be in their space. But if it's about God and we feel like God has said it, and even if we're wrong, I'm going to be obedient. And there's been things I've said to people that they have come to me years later and told me, you know, Miss Celicia, when you said this and this and this, I didn't like it then. But God has shown me over the years that you were absolutely right.

SPEAKER_06 38:55

Wow. We have to do it scared. We got to do it scared. Absolutely. So for the woman who's listening right now, she's asking herself, I heard everything you said, I received it, but I don't know the first step that I need to take to start to heal or start to move past my traumas and my experiences. What's the first step I need to take? What would you say to them to start their healing journey?

SPEAKER_08 39:22

Wow. I want to say, get my book.

SPEAKER_06 39:26

Yes. What is the name of your book? And I want Miss Angela as well, Miss Alicia and Miss Angela, both of you. I guess you talk about your book. Miss Angela, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07 39:34

So my book is He Sees You. And you said when the young lady came up to you, like, how can I pray for you? And you were like, I was just praying, like, God, you saw me. So for me, there were so many moments I dealt with feeling unseen, aligned, overlooked, not really feeling valued. And I was always looking for somebody to say, Hey, I see you. Like, girl, you were the bomb. You're talented, you're gifted, you're anointed. And God, He saw me through it all. And I just talk about my trauma. I talk about a lot of my pain and just disappointment and how God was right there and He walked me through it and held my hand through it. So as women, we want to be seen, right? And sometimes if we don't get that attention from the one that we want, we get discouraged. But all along, God is like, hey, right here. See, I got great plans for you. I love you. I won't walk away from you. I won't reject you. I won't abandon you. He's constant. He's consistent. And so I talk about how he saw me through all of the different seasons of my life.

SPEAKER_08 40:35

Beautiful. Miss Alicia? This is my book. It's called The Healing Timeline: Breaking Free from Generational Trauma. That's my book. 26 years ago, I had the breakdown, and God gave me a therapy. I had no idea that's what it was. But he gave me a therapy called the Timeline. And that's what I walk my clients through. What I would say to any woman, trauma, you cannot get past or through or process alone. Yes. That's the fallacy. You are going to need help. And yes, God is there. The Holy Spirit is there. But God doesn't do anything without people. That's right. He does nothing without people. And he does nothing without the body of Christ, the church, the ecclesia. One of the lies of the enemy is we don't need to go to church. There's a lot of people walking around with church hurt. There's a lot of religious people that don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. But we need the true ecclesia, the true body of Christ. Because in the body, there are the five-fold ministry gifts that God has set in place to bring maturity to the believer. So we need other people. We need community. We need people that are working on their relationship with God. And iron sharpens iron. Iron is hard. It doesn't feel good. Even learning how to communicate, we have to have conflict. Most people shy away from conflict, but you need conflict. You need to know how to confront. So people shy away and they can become isolated, but that will stunt your growth. We were never meant to be alone. So my advice to people who want to process their pain, bring together the fragmented pieces, they are going to need God and prayer and worship. They're going to need people. They're going to need the church. We're going to need one another as women. We're going to need authority. We're going to need accountability. We're going to need mentors, not just any mentor, because mentorship is a relationship that is formed in heaven. Just like Ruth and Naomi. Yes. That was a relationship that was a kingdom relationship. Yes. And Ruth said, I'm going to do whatever you tell me to do. Yes. Your people's going to be my people. Your God's going to be my God. What do I need to do? It was Ruth that said go and glean in that field. It was Ruth that said go lay at the bottom of Boaz's feet. And what happened with that relationship is both of those women had nothing. Yeah. But because Ruth obeyed Naomi, it restored Naomi. It says when Ruth had her baby, she gave the baby to Naomi, and Naomi nursed the baby. So out of that relationship of those two women, an old woman named Naomi received her vitality back to be able to nurse. So she was given her youth back. And Ruth was given an inheritance.

SPEAKER_06 43:47

Well, that explains why you look so young. Uh-huh. Your mentorship. But that has been my favorite book of Bible. But that's it. That's it. So beautiful. I'm gonna go off the round. Here and then I'm gonna close, but just one quick question. Do you think that so many men have issues in their lives and in their relationships and communication because it's so common for a lot of men not to have that level of mentorship? For women, I feel like it's more accepted for us to seek mentors, but for men, especially if you don't necessarily have a built-in mentor like your dad, right? I just wonder if that has an impact on men and how they function. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_08 44:27

Yeah, the enemy has duped all of us. And in this generation, we live in a motherless, fatherless generation. Yes. Ooh, motherless and fatherless. Whoa. Motherless and fatherless. Okay. So we've got men trying to be husbands, trying to be fathers, and that was never modeled. And even if they were raised by a father, their understanding of what that looks like to love a woman, to love a wife like Christ loves the church. My husband and I have been counseling married couples now for 30 years. And what God has done is He's made my husband a wonderful father. He fathers men and he teaches men how to love their wives. There's been so much compromise when it comes to what that looks like. So much compromise regarding a woman's respect for her husband. We lived in this society where most women are strong women. But the trick of the enemy is to press women down and to make them subservient. But there's strength in a woman. We have made submission a bad word, and it's not. It's not. It's a very strong word. It takes a lot of strength to submit. A lot. It is a lot. But a man needs to be taught how to love his wife. I've been married for 42 years, and my husband loves, loves, loves me. Is he perfect? No, he's not. But we have never had an affair. There's a such thing as being married and not being unfaithful to each other. There's a such thing. So you're right. Our men, especially our African-American men, are really struggling in their identity themselves. Who am I? What does this look like? Do I pattern it after the men in my family who were absent or dominant or controlling or angry? What do I have to look at and model myself after? So you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_06 46:38

Wow. Beautiful. Well, next conference. Bring some men. Bring your husband in there.

SPEAKER_07 46:44

Great, because we need some single men up in them too, NASA. Don't forget.

SPEAKER_06 46:48

I will say I do know quite a few single men, but they need to be deciped. They have a men's conference. Yes. Disciple these men so they can be ready for the wives. But, anyways, that's a whole nother. I know, I know. But that is good. I want to ask you, ladies, in closing, are there any final words of encouragement that you can offer to our listeners?

SPEAKER_07 47:13

Yeah, I would just say it's not too late. It's not too late to get out of the mess that you're in. It's not too late for God to use you. You're not damaged goods. God can use you exactly where you're at. And it's just not too late to say yes to him and surrender. He is waiting with open arms to love on you, just like the prodigal son. He crowned him and gave him a robe before he cleaned him up. You know, we are his daughters and we are his queens and that he has great things in store for us. And he's just waiting for our yes, and then he'll just blow our minds with all the plans that he has for us. So it's not too late to say yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 47:52

It's not too late. At 66, I'm living my best life. God is a redeemer of time, he's a restorer of relationships. He doesn't change his mind.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 48:04

He doesn't change his mind. Even what we consider to be failures are all factored in. He told Jeremiah in 29, 11, I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope of plans to prosper you and not to harm you. And then the word says, I have begun a good work in you. And I will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. And those are the things that I hold on to with my dear life. That God is not through with me. When I die, I'm going to die empty, meaning that everything that He put in me to accomplish is going to be done. It's going to be finished. That's how I live my life. And I'm going to keep on living until I die. A lot of times when you get past a certain age, you start dying because you feel like you have no relevance. No relevance comes from the Father, comes from the Holy Spirit. And so I will always have relevance. There will always be someone for me to talk to. And it will always be someone for me to pour into. I have three daughters and a son that I pour into them as much as they come to me. See, this is what I would say to the young seek out those that can pour into you. Because if Angela wasn't a vessel that could be filled, if she thought she was already filled, right, and could not be offered anything else, she would be limited. That's right. What she does is she empties herself out and then she comes back for more. That's the only way that we can live, is if we're emptying ourselves out, and then we come back to the father and say, please fill me again.

SPEAKER_06 50:04

Yes. Speaking of the young generation, is Shiloh available? Yes, ma'am. Listen, darling, I'm just gonna ask you one question. First of all, if you don't mind, can you introduce yourself and tell us how old you are? Hello, my name is Shiloh Carter, and I am 14 years old. Shiloh, I want to know if there was anything you could say to your generation about how to be the best version of themselves, what would you say?

SPEAKER_05 50:31

I think that always comes from God. I know that's something that I've struggled with as well, trying to figure out who I am as a person, having like self-esteem issues and not really knowing who I am. But then as I started to get more into the Bible, I realized that God sees me as a young, beautiful lady. And like I said, I still struggle with it, but God always still reminds me that I'm one of a kind and I'm different. Just always have affirmations because I know in this generation it's very hard, especially young ladies, always trying to compare ourselves to other ladies, and even just on social media, like a lot of people compare themselves. So I think just being yourself, you know?

SPEAKER_06 51:16

Yeah, so I'm hearing affirmations, telling yourself who God says you are. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are brave, all those things. And then for young people, you said the word, and that is so powerful. And I don't want anyone to miss that. I'm talking to my niece. I don't want anybody to miss that. There is power in reading the word of God, and you don't have to wait till you're our age to open up that Bible because the Lord is speaking to you right there in that word of God. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Miss Shiloh. Beautiful, wonderful welcome, ladies. Thank you so much for being on today. So many jewels.

SPEAKER_07 52:03

Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. And I'm just so excited to be a part and decided to see what God does on your podcast. You have such a sweet spirit, and for you to be just so open to be the voice for so many people and to have guests like us on here. It's an honor. The honor is mine. And if you don't mind, we'd like to pray for you.

SPEAKER_06 52:24

Oh, I love it. I love it. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_08 52:28

All right. Father God, we thank you for Bernita, Father. We thank you, Lord, that you are doing a mighty work in her life. Thank you. We thank you for her marriage. We thank you for her family. We thank you for her finances. We thank you, Lord, for her dreams. Lord, there is not one thing that you have put in her spirit that will not come to pass. Lord, you are going before her, making the crooked straight, thank you, bringing down the high places and leveling out the valleys. You are opening up doors that no man can shut. And you're shutting the doors that you don't want her to walk through. There's a protective hedge around her, Father God, that keeps her from all hurt, harm, or danger. Lord, there is nothing but good things in store for her. And Lord, we just thank you, Father God, for blessing the works of her hands and causing everything that she touches to be successful. And we give you all the glory and praise in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_07 53:26

And we even thank you, Lord, really quick to we just lift up her mind to you that we quiet the voices of the enemy that tries to make her feel like she's not worthy enough or make it seem like what she's doing is not going to bring value or just the inner conversations that the enemy tries to remind her of. Just any insecurities, God. We cover her mind with the blood of Jesus and we thank you for confidence. We thank you for boldness. We even thank you, God, that you're putting right people around her, God. A destiny helper that is going to support her dreams. And I thank you, God, that this won't just be the beginning, God, that you have such great things in store for her and where this podcast is gonna go because of her obedience. Even when she didn't really know all the things and how to put it together, but she took one step at a time, one day at a time. You're gonna honor her for her, yes. And so I thank you, God, that she would just be secure and in you and knowing that you have great things in store for her in Jesus' name. Amen.

SPEAKER_06 54:22

Amen. Oh, you ladies bless me and then say. Wow, this conversation was such a beautiful reflection of love, growth, and the sacred bond between mother and daughter. I really hope this episode leaves you feeling encouraged and reminded that healing in the family can create a lasting legacy. And please remember to follow me on Instagram at for Bernita Renee Relates and Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok at BernithaRene Relates. And of course, like, subscribe, and share this podcast anywhere you listen to your podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I love you for it. And we'll be back for season three, but this time on video. Until then, take good care of you.