Marriage in the Messy Middle

Ask Me: Wife, Mom, Designer = God is a podcast for women who want to get dressed—and live—from a place of wholeness, self-love, and stewardship of their God-given gifts.

Hosted by Braisha Owens Mount—luxury denim designer, stylist, wife, and mama—this podcast is rooted in one truth: getting dressed is about identity.

We talk faith, marriage, motherhood, creativity, and showing up fully—without guilt or performance.

No fluff. Just grace, grit, garments, and God.

Because how you get dressed matters—and calling and chaos can coexist.

Episode 4: Marriage in the Messy Middle

The “messy middle” of marriage is the part no one glamorizes.

It’s not the honeymoon phase.
 It’s not the “we’ve made it” season.

It’s the in-between—where love and exhaustion exist at the same time… where intimacy shifts, responsibilities grow, and partnership is tested in real life.

In this episode, I’m opening up about what the messy middle looks like in my own marriage:

•  Raising a toddler who still sleeps with us 
•  Navigating two careers 
•  Adjusting to life beyond just “us” 
•  Learning how to be parents while still choosing to be partners 

This season is stretching—but it’s also sacred. And the only way I’m holding it all together is God.

We talk about:

•  What unconditional love really looks like in real life 
•  How to communicate when both partners are tired 
•  Giving each other grace while learning parenthood together 
•  Redefining intimacy and romance after kids 
•  Choosing each other daily—even in small, consistent ways 

Because marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about intentionality.

Closing

If you’re in the messy middle, you’re not failing—you’re forming.

Stay willing.
 Stay gracious.
 Keep choosing love.

Share this with a mom who needs it—and ask yourself:
 What would it look like to give more grace in your marriage right now?

Until next time—
 Get dressed with intention. Move with confidence.

Don’t ask me how I’m doing it—ask God.

Community Invitation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Let's start with something tangible. Not something loud, not something performative. A simple dress. Added blazer, structure shoulder, something soft, something feminine, something grounding. Not for going out, it could be. Not for just being seen, it could be. But for being yourself. This texture is exquisite. This is what I reach for when I'm in a messy middle of the night. When I'm tired, when the day didn't go as planned. I don't exactly wear this, but when love feels quiet instead of exciting. The dress doesn't fix anything. It doesn't solve the conversation. It doesn't erase the tension. But it reminds me of who I am. I am still a woman. I am still a mom. Not just a partner navigating real life. This is what getting dressed for myself looks like right now. Choosing something feminine feminine, even when no one's watching, grounds me. It's reconnecting me to my body. It softens my posture. It reminds me that intimacy starts from presence, not perfection. Some days in marriage, choosing each other looks deep. It looks like a deep conversation. Other days it looks like staying in the room. Staying open, staying willing. This garment lives in that space. It's not for the highlight reel. It's for the in-between. It's for the and God meets us here. It's the conversations. And the entire evening. The messy middle isn't failure, it's formation. And sometimes getting dressed intentionally, gently, honestly, matters. As I choose to love again, it's how I choose to love myself again. So before we talk about closed confidence or calling, let's pause and take a breath. How are you feeling today? This podcast is for women who want to get dressed and live from a place of wholeness, self-love, stewardship of their God-given gifts. Listen, women who need this, welcome to Ask Me Wife, Mom Designer Equals God. I am your host, abrace your own small luxury denim designer, stylist, and more of an arts, fashion executive, a wife, a mama, and a woman who believes in getting dressed. It's not just about clothes, it's about identity. You feel me? It's not about having it all together. Okay, it's about honoring who we are right now while becoming who God is shaping us to be. Here, style starts on the inside. We talk about faith, motherhood, marriage, creativity, ambition, and showing up fully without guilt mask or performance. No fluff, no filters, just real conversation. Grace, grit, garments, and God. Listen, because how you get dressed matters. And calling chaos can coexist. Listen. This episode is marriage in the messy middle. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. What is the messy middle? The reality is the messy middle of a marriage is a space that no one glamorizes. It's not the honeymoon phase, it's not the we made it season yet. It's the in-between where love exists alongside exhaustion, intimacy, alongside responsibility, and partnership alongside pressure. For us, the messy middle looks like I would say, raising a toddler. Okay. I always say that they will shake up a marriage, right? Raising a toddler who still sleeps with us. Balancing two careers, being around family and being just the three of us. Learning how to be parents while being partners. I hate that my marriage is the messy middle sometimes, but I also recognize how sacred it is. This season is messy, but it's also meaningful. And the way I'm holding love, exhaustion, intimacy, and partnership, all at once is nothing but God. Do you hear me? The way I am holding on to love, exhaustion, intimacy, partnership, all at once is God, nothing but God. Okay. I think the reason I'm able to hold this season with reverence instead of resentment is because I see it differently. I hold my marriage to a high standard, not perfection, but intentionality. And because of that, I'm able to love my husband unconditionally. And unconditional love, that's some unfiltered moments. You feel me? My husband has seen me on the floor physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He's seen me in spaces I have never been in before that my parents didn't even see me in. We close, you feel me? Motherhood changed me. Exhaustion changed me. Life has changed me, and he still loves me. That's how I know it's unconditional love. He loves me through exhaustion. He loves me when intimacy looks different. He loves me when I am not my best version. Like I'm looking under Satanism, it's so real, literally. And I love him the same way. Your desire for intimacy is still there. It doesn't always look like it used to. Sometimes intimacy is physical, sometimes it's emotional, sometimes it's sitting next to each other, watching TV in silence and feeling safe, watching TOC. Come on. Or the housewives, that's what we do. And through it all, we still remain partners. He's not just my husband, he's my best friend in the messy middle. If this conversation resonates with you, and are you navigating marriage, motherhood, leadership, and still trying to remember who you are? I create a space just for that. Okay. Inside my school community, Kiss by Bows, the Style Lounge, where we are unlocking fashion wellness. Inside the platform, we focus on fashion wellness, learning to get dressed and show up from a place of self-love. Believe that God is the sustainer of all, even in everyday moments. If you create a community clarity and alignment, I love to welcome you there. You can find the link in the show notes. Communication when both parties are tired. Listen, people always say, don't talk when you're tired. And it really depends on who you are, but honestly, it's not about the tiredness, it's about the capacity. Sometimes conversations have to wait until you are both in an emotional space to speak without reacting. Whether it's an argument or it's just an unnecessary check-in or a necessary check-in, we need to make sure the conversation still happens. We don't have normal schedules. We're night outs. Okay, some of us, some of our deepest conversations is three, four, five o'clock in the morning, okay? Listen, that's just how we grow. But what matters is that we don't avoid communication. I used to, because I I wanted peace, but peace for peace's sake is not peace. We prioritize the communication. Even when it's uncomfortable, that's a prayer, y'all. Listen, even when it's late, even when we're tired. And I think one of the most strongest things we do in our marriage is communicate. Because let's talk about it. Marriage with a toller is a whole different thing. Marriage with a toller will expose everything, your strengths, and your gaps. Before kids, you can hide certain things. Listen, after kids, nothing stays hidden. My husband and I had a conversation recently, right? And he told me that communicate with me about what you need with Chancer. This is my first time being a parent, too. And that kind of like blew my mind, right? That mattered to me. Even though he has nieces and nephews, galore. He said he got about 10 of them. He does he's never been a parent before. And that's new for him as well as it's being new for me. And that reminded me that grace has to go both ways. I have to give him grace, and he has to give me grace. Instead of me flipping out, we sit back and say, maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he needs to, maybe I need to explain instead of explode. Maybe we need to pray about this. Amen. And we do. Like that's real. Marriage with the toddler isn't being perfect. It's not about being perfect parents. It's about being humble learners together. Because we learn this thing as we go. Relearning romance in real life is a whole other thing. Look. First romance didn't disappear, it evolved. I don't feel like we had to relearn each other. If anything, we know and we know now having more have more support, which allows us to have more space to be used. Someone can watch our child, we can go on a date and just be alone, right? I know many couples have have to have completely relearned their romance after the kids, and that's real. I mean, it depends on who it is. That's just it's in our story. Our biggest obstacle, disconnect, is timing and tiredness. And honestly, I love the simple things. I love watching TV with my husband. The real housewives, Potomac, Atlanta, 60 Days in. Suddenly homage. I just love being near him. I love feeling connected without pressure. That's romance too. It's about choosing each other daily. Every single day we choose each other. It isn't always grand gestures, it's consistency. A husband sometimes works long days. But on every single break, he usually calls me. Not for anything deep just to talk. What you doing? Literally. What he ate for lunch, what's going on in the group chat, what's happening at work. And not tell him what's happening at home, which is nothing being with Chance or what chance we're doing. Even if I don't see him all day, I've or if I've heard, if I haven't heard him all day, I felt him. I've been connected to him. He calls me in the morning and wakes me up sometimes. And honestly, he he's my alarm clock because I definitely ignore mine, okay? I've been doing a lot better though. This was written before, okay? So, but that's how we choose each other. We don't forget each other and other and then and all the noise. We don't, right? We don't lose each other in the crowd. But this is stuff that we had to learn to do, right? We don't let life make us strangers. He's my best friend, like I told y'all. Marriage just adds icing to the cake. A relationship isn't perfect by any means, but it's perfect for us. Thank God. You feel me? In closing, if you're in the messy middle of marriage, I want you to know you're not failing, you're forming. This season may feel exhausting, unfinished, but it's also sacred. This is where love is stretched, grace is learned, and partnership is built around time. Some days choosing each other looks like deep conversations, other days looks like a simple staying present. And in all of it, God is holding you when you're tired, when you feel in seen, and when love looks different than you imagine. You don't have to have it all figured out to be faithful in the season, right? Just staying willing, willing to communicate, willing to be graceful, willing to choose love again, choose each other. The messy middle isn't the end of the story, it's the making of the story. Until next time. Give yourself grace. If this episode resonated with any of you, please, please, please, please, please share it with a mom who needs this reminder. What would it look like for you to give yourself or your partner more grace in this season of marriage? A partner should get deeper into defining yourself and your confidence to your next level. You know where to find me on the school platform, kiss my bows with side lounge, unlocking bachelorness, you know, just top personality. Until next time, get dressed with intention, move with confidence, and don't forget who you are becoming. Because listen, don't ask me how to do that. Just ask God.