The Soft Life Ain’t Soft If You Don’t Rest

Episode Description:
In this deeply personal and faith-centered episode, we’re redefining what it truly means to live a “soft life.” Because the truth is—there’s nothing soft about a life without rest.

This episode is your intentional wellness check-in. A moment to pause, reflect, and be honest about where you are—mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Rooted in Matthew 11:28, we explore the truth that rest is not a luxury or a reward—it’s an act of obedience. Through real-life reflections on burnout, motherhood, purpose, and pace, this conversation unpacks why exhaustion isn’t always about doing too much—but sometimes about doing what isn’t aligned.

We talk about:

•  Recognizing the signs of burnout and honoring your body 
•  Letting go of hustle culture and embracing intentional rest 
•  The connection between self-care, soul-care, and self-love 
•  Surrendering goals to stay aligned with God’s will 
•  Why slowing down is essential for clarity and purpose 
•  Protecting your peace through boundaries and discernment 

This episode is a reminder that:
 Rest is foundational.
 Alignment requires stillness.
 And peace is something you must steward intentionally.

If you’ve been feeling stretched, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself—this conversation will meet you right where you are.

Because you don’t have to exhaust yourself to prove you’re called.

Rest is not optional.
 Peace is not negotiable.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I want to start with something tangible. The feel of fuzzy socks pulled over your ankles. The way they match the set that you're already in, you feel me? They're soft. It's comfortable, it's warm, it's cozy, it's unrushed. It's the kind of fabric that doesn't act anything of you. It doesn't shake you. It doesn't conform to you. It just covers you. Right? This is what I reach for when the day is done. My body needs rest. My mind needs quiet. It's what you can sleep in, it's what you can nap in. What you can lounge in, you feel me? Something you don't perform in, you just exist in it. The softness isn't lazy, it's wisdom, the comfort isn't avoidance, it's stewardship. Because rest isn't the opposite of purpose. You can really only find purpose when you are resting. It's what protects it, just like this set hopes me without constricting me. I'm learning to let peace hold my life the same. The same way, you feel me? Listen, no proving myself. It's not a hustle. If anything, it's a holy hustle. It's not urgency, but it's worth. It's safety. It's peace. You feel me, y'all? It's peace. Not not burning myself out to validate the call, the call of others. You feel me? This is a softer legacy. One where I'm still obedient. That is the goal. Still ambitious. You feel me? I'm still me. I'm still building. I'm doing it covered. I'm doing it whole. I'm at peace. What's poppin', y'all? What's poppin'? This is a podcast for women who want to get dressed and live from a place of wholeness, self-love, stewardship of their God-giving gifts. You feel me? Welcome to Acve Wife, Mom Designer equals God. I am your girl. Break your own's mouth, luxury denim designer stylist, the fashion executive wife. Hold up, it's a lot more uh mama, a woman who believes in getting dressed, is never just about clothes, it's about identity. You feel me? This isn't about having it all. Listen, having it all together. It's about honoring who you are right now. You feel me? Right now, it's shaping you to be here, right? Here's what style this here, right here is where style starts on the inside. We talk faith, we talk motherhood, we talk marriage, creativity, ambition, and showing up fully. Just real conversations about grace, grits, garments, and what? God. You feel me? Listen, because how you get dressed matters and calling and chaos can coexist. Because listen, I'm showing you on proof of it. In this episode, y'all, we're focusing on the soft, the soft life ain't soft if you don't rest. You feel me? Let's say it again. The soft life ain't soft unless if you don't rest. Okay, you feel me? Um, rest is not optional. I had a scripture that I had reflected on when I was writing this script. It says, Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest in Matthew 11, 28. This is your wellness check-in. You feel me? Like, listen, it's not the kind that rush past how you're really feeling, but the kind that asks you to pause and let's tell the truth. Lately, I've been learning to recognize the signals of burnout. You feel me? Exhaustion, mental fall, that quiet resistance in my body that says, You're giving and you're not giving enough to you today. Rest for me right now looks different than it used to, right? Rest used to be just sleeping all day, right? But after long days of driving from Akron and Cleveland, pouring out energy, using my voice, my personality, my presence. Rest doesn't look like just open up my laptop. Rest doesn't look like open up my laptop when I get home. It looks like laying down sometimes for four hours and choosing not to be ashamed of it. There's a time before when I was married, before I had a baby. Okay, listen, before motherhood, when I would have rushed or I would have just pushed through because of calling on my life, I felt like it was so deep. You feel me? But this season my life I'm in right now, I won't allow that anymore. I just cannot. I can't afford to not rest. I just can't. This this outfit actually represents that because if I'm not well, I'm not good to the people who God has entrusted me to be my family, my my interns, my my people, I connect to, I work with. You feel me? Stewardship starts with the body that he gave me. But let's talk about it. We have to redefine what rest is and what rest is to you in this season. Um, rest is not weakness, rest is obedience. We live in a world where it glorifies exhaustion. Hustle culture has taught us many of us that rest was something that we earned or were something that we postponed until we completely were depleted. I used to say, I'll sleep when I die. That was what I said in college. And then one day I asked myself a harder question. But what happens when you tire? I know this firsthand. When I sat down over a year through pregnancy in early in early motherhood, that was a stillness that I had never had before. You feel me? My body was nourished. Um, my spirit was quiet enough to hear God so clearly. I used to write everything down when I was pregnant, you feel me? He downloaded things into me that busyness never could have. Um, rest doesn't look the same for me, though. You feel me? Sometimes it's it's a Sunday after church, sometimes it's watching church online while tending over my home. Sometimes it's staying in bed all day and letting that be enough. I have a two-year-old. I'm trying to record a podcast with a two-year-old. The rest that is you gotta look different in different seasons. Sometimes it's taking a day for yourself after having to give yourself to everyone. The rest is permission to be obedient to your purpose. Let's talk about soul care, right? Self-care is not shallow, it's sacred. And that's soul care. We're spiritual beings having a natural experience. When the soul is tended to, the body follows. When the body is honored, the soul is safe. It starts with knowing yourself. There are three parts of self-love knowing who you are, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the parts you're still discovering. Owning it, saying, This is me, and loving it, anyways. Every single part. Listen, because if you don't love you, who will? When you care for every part of yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly, that self-care, that's something that you can't get back. And when you do that, your soul is nourished, and that soul care. You feel me? Soul care begins with knowing yourself, knowing the good, knowing the broken you, knowing the parts of you that still becoming, or as my homegirl Candace say, remembering, and then choosing to love all of it. Self-love isn't is it's not denial, it's acceptance, right? And the care that flows naturally from what you choose to love. You feel me? When you care for your whole self, the soul is strengthened. That's real, y'all. That's real care and that's lasting care. Again, it looks different in different seasons. And slowing down is to stay aligned. Listen, alignment isn't just spiritual, it's practical. You feel me? I often say, making sure even when I do any type of business agreements, things of that nature, I always be like, yo, I gotta make sure this is alignment. I have to make sure we are aligned. When I have interns and we can carry this on if there's an alignment there, I have to make sure there's always alignment because if so, it does not make sense. It does not make sense. Alignment is real. Listen, alignment isn't just spiritual, it's practical. Purpose and provision have to be in alignment. You feel me? Pastor Mike Jr. said something that stopped me in my track, shawl. When you don't listen to God's instruction, God will allow exhaustion to speak louder than instruction. That hit me. Even me like rereading this. Let's let's say that again. If we don't listen to God's instruction, God will allow exhaustion to speak louder than any instruction. It hit me like a ton of bricks, y'all. It did. And when I say it hit me, it's because exhaustion isn't always about doing too much, right? It's often about doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong pace. Again, let me say that again. It's not about doing too much, it's doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong pace. This made me ask myself some honest questions. What am I really chasing? Like, literally, what am I chasing? Am I chasing goals or am I chasing God? Have my goals quietly become idols. And I mean, listen, I got a whole video talking about how my goals literally became my idols because I I worship the dream. I worship the dream. The dream became so, so my master, and that's so real. I had to like sit back and be like, hold up, Lord, you can gave me this dream. You can take it away if I don't reframe what I'm worshiping. So your goals can become your idols, and that conviction required surrenderance for me. You feel me? I literally had to surrender my goals, I had to surrender my timeline. So now sometimes people like, oh, are you where you want to be? Listen, listen, I give it all to God, literally, and that sounds crazy to some people because they like a little bit of control. I ain't gonna lie, y'all. Um, when I had season one of this podcast, I lived in Columbus, Ohio still. I am now officially back home in Akron, moved in, set up, all that. You feel me? Uh, bank accounts, doctors, everything, we're here, we're back home. And when I tell you, that was surrendering my timeline. This point in my life, before Chancer came, before Chancer came, let's say I just had all types of control I thought over my life. At this point, I would have been in LA moving and grooving, you feel me? Um, but this baby came. And when I tell you the reason why I feel like I learned how to surrender more when I had a baby, because when you're pregnant, you have no control. Your body is literally growing as a human being inside of you. You have no control over that. You can't stop it, you can't slow it down, speed it up. You can't do any of that. You have to literally just be obedient. Shoot, be still. Stillness and the obedience. And that's what I had to do. Thank the Lord, because I was praying throughout it. Thank God that my pregnancy was amazing. I prayed the next one is too. My mom said hers was too, but thank God that my pregnancy was amazing. Okay, because I had to let go and like Lord, I don't know what to do. I'm nervous. 2020 came and I thought I was surrendered, but no, 2023 came and it was real. And that's what I say surrender to my timeline. I had to say, Lord, not what I think I'm supposed to be, but whatever you have for me in the name of Jesus. You feel me? And that surrender shifted everything. That surrender and shifted everything. When God be when God became the pursuit, my goals finally found their proper place. When God became first, progress stopped feeling heavy and started feeling aligned. We don't build our lives around goals and then give and then ask God to bless them, right? I feel like some people do that, like, okay, this is my goal, Lord bless them. And I used to do that too. And it got to the point where it's like, yo, you can't do that anymore. So we we have to seek God first, and He will reveal what is worth pursuing, and that's real. So we don't be wasting our time and our life. You feel me? Then we build goals around that revelation. Our goals are never meant to be our masters. And that I'm telling you, mine was a master at one point. We got to check ourselves and see if is are you serving that master? Our goals are meant to be our servants, and alignment requires pace, it requires you slowing down, it requires us to be still because clarity does not come from rushing, y'all. It does not come from rushing, it comes from being still enough to hear, to hear, and that's where rest comes in. You feel me? And I feel like you that's where you have to treat rest as you treat rest. That's where peace lives, be still doesn't mean passive, it's positioning. Amen. When we seek God first, everything else finds order, and that's what I had to realize. Not because we chased the we chased harder, but because we aligned deeper, and that's real, y'all. And alignment changes how fast you move, how much you carry, and what you're willing to release. That's alignment. How fast you move, how much you carry, and what you're willing to release. Peace has to be a priority because it's currency, it's valuable, it's worth protecting. You feel me? And it's required, it requires boundaries. Peace doesn't mean the absence of chaos, it means clarity in the middle of it. When your mind is guarded, you walk through fire and remain steady. You feel me? That's why rest, alignment, and self-care aren't just luxuries, y'all. They are necessities. I'm telling you. It's a necessity, but peace doesn't protect itself. Boundaries protects peace, and that's so real. Sometimes I have to turn my phone on do not disturb so I can get peace. Boundaries don't just apply to what you do, they apply to who has access to you. This should be a whole nother podcast episode, but I'm gonna just talk about it, right? Recently I experienced this in a very real way. I was working with someone who had um someone that was working with them closely, right? You know, um, and someone they had more of an intimate relationship. They casually said, oh, this person can handle X, Y, and Z. And I was like, I had to stop and recognize what this was. If someone is connected to me through someone else, they still this still creates access. And that had to be very intentional. I had to be very intentional of who has access to me. I had to say, I don't know them, I don't even know if they're aligned with what I have going on, not out of pride, not out of fear, but out of wisdom. And boundaries aren't always easy. Saying no, and this is a thing for me, y'all, because I low key am a people pleaser. I like peace. I don't like confrontation because but saying no can be confrontational, but saying no isn't always comfortable. But peace requires discernment. Discernment requires you to move accordingly, even when it feels awkward. Access matters, y'all. I'm deeply grateful for the access the Lord has granted me. Lord, thank you so much for that. The Lord has granted me in these rooms, the relationships, the conversations He has entrusted me with. But that access is not just favor, it's fruit of obedience. Truly is fruit of obedience. And that's something in learning. That's something, and that's something I'm learning more and more. As much as we pray for access, other people see that access too, and sometimes they want to use it without putting in the work. Not the spiritual work, not the character work, but the obedience. Not because I'm better, but because I was obedient. I am obedient. And I didn't write the coattails to get here. I followed instructions from the Lord, and I went where God told me to go. I sat where he told me to sit. I spoke to who he told me to talk to and remove myself from the equation so he could get the glory. Do you hear me? That's access that comes from obedience, not just effort, not networking, not striving, not hustling, not being an opportunist, not using people. This peace requires protecting what obedience produced. So today's reminder is this you don't have to earn rest. You're allowed to pause, you're allowed to say no, and your peace, and your peace, your peace of mind, your access, your assignment is worth protecting at all costs because peace is currency. Talking about all this money, peace is currency, rest, and boundaries are now how you steward it. Legacy isn't built by how much you do, it's built by how well you listen. If this conversation resonates with you, if you're navigating motherhood, marriage, leadership, and still trying to remember who you are, I've created space just for that. Inside my school community, we focus on fashion wellness, learning how to get dressed and show up from a place of love, purpose, faith. You feel me? It's a place where women who believe in God as a sustainer of it all, even in everyday moments. If you're craving community, clarity, and alignment, I love to welcome you there. You can find a link in the show notes. Hey, because if you're not there, you swear, right? Nah, come through, y'all. I think y'all really enjoy that. This season is teaching me that rest is not opposite of purpose. It's found, it's the foundation of it all. Alignment doesn't come from striving hard, y'all, but it's surrendering deeper. Peace isn't something we stumble into, it's something we steward. That is so real. A slower pace doesn't mean smaller assignment. And I think that's something that we all need to see and understand. The assignment is assignment is the assignment. It means wisdom has taken the lead. Holly. And I'm learning that the legacy that I'm building isn't just about what I produce, but it's about how I live while producing it. It's about choosing obedience over urgency, stillness over thrive, striving, and boundaries over burnout. Because what God gives me through obedience must be protected with what? Peace. Okay, so this episode, as we close, sorry, I done closed so many times, as this episode closes, let me be, let this be a reminder to you. What you carry, you don't have to exhaust yourself to prove your call. You ain't gotta prove that to the people that you need rest. You don't have to rush to be aligned. You don't have to give access to protect opportunity. Okay. You don't have to. Rest ain't nothing. Peace ain't negotiable. And the legacy that you're building deserves a version of you that is whole. Fully whole in yourself. Soft, aligned, and at peace. I'm your girl, Bracia Owens Mount. Thank you so much for rocking with Axe Me Wife Designer. Axe Me Wife Mom Designer equals God. Until next time, don't ask me how I'm doing it.