Leadership Tips | Check Your Surroundings

In this week’s leadership tips episode, we’re talking about something simple that many leaders overlook: checking your surroundings.

Whether you’re at work, leading a meeting, interacting with customers, or simply talking with coworkers, social awareness matters. The conversations we have and the way we include (or unintentionally exclude) the people around us can shape how others experience our leadership.

Sometimes it’s as small as noticing when someone is being left out of a conversation. Other times it’s recognizing when a conflict or discussion might be happening in the wrong place or at the wrong time.

Strong leadership isn’t just about what you say. It’s about being aware of how your actions affect the people around you. Taking a moment to check your surroundings can help you build better communication, stronger relationships, and a more thoughtful workplace. 

Check back every week for your weekly leadership tips on life and leadership.

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Transcript

Desiree (00:01.112)
Hey friend, this is your weekly leadership tip from Desiree. One small idea to carry you with you into your life and leadership this week. And the tip this week is to check your surroundings. I am a huge advocate for sharing your personal life at work. I know not everyone is. Some people find it very uncomfortable and unnecessary, but I personally think that it helps you to build a lot of empathy and understanding. It helps you to understand where people are in their season of life and what they might need from you as their coworker or their leader.

et cetera, I'm all for it. However, again, check your surroundings. So I was checking out at the grocery store. They asked the typical question, did you find everything that you needed today? Yes, paper or plastic, so on and so forth. And then I kind of disappeared for them and they were talking to the person begging my groceries. Their part of engaging me in conversation was done and they turned and started having a conversation about work schedule and the weekend.

with their coworker. Now I'm listening intently, intrigued by the fact that they're having this conversation, but in the same moment I'm thinking, is anyone else in this exact same situation feeling ignored in this moment? If they have a question, if they have something to say, how are they responding? So the tip is check your surroundings as one of these two individuals, making sure that you are engaging with the people around you.

bringing in the people that seem to be left out, asking questions that involve everyone, and not having a one-on-one conversation when there's more than two people in the vicinity. I think that we don't do this enough, and it's part of our lack of social awareness of engaging people in that way, because it is a little bit uncomfortable to have that conversation with strangers if you don't know them.

Not all of us are in this situation because a lot of us work in offices, but for those of us that are customer facing and forward facing, making sure that we are reminding ourselves and our employees to check our surroundings and engage people in the right kind of way, I think is a tip that could go across the board for anyone. That example came directly before this next example. I took my family of four to Culver's. I have a four and a six year old. They're coloring at the table.

Desiree (02:22.198)
everything is kind of taking a long time. They're actually doing really good. And I'm

Desiree (02:35.31)
So we take our family of four to Culver's. Everything took a really long time because we went at a bad time, our fault. We finished eating. We took the free custard scoop tickets off of their kids' meal and went up to the counter. And I asked for one scoop of each, et cetera.

Desiree (03:02.606)
So I take my family of four to Culver's. We are just finishing up our meal. I take the free scoop coupons off of their kid's meal and walk up to the counter. There are three women behind the counter and a gentleman who is paying for his food. And I ask politely to the woman who comes up to me. I say, can you please get me one scoop of this and one scoop of this? I hand her my coupons. Now she turns around and asks one of the other ladies to grab it for her. She says, hey, would you grab these for me?

She says, yep, not a problem and walks away to go get the ice cream. And the other gal behind the counter goes, stop taking my runner. What have you been doing all day that you can't do it? As she's checking out this other gentleman. Now I'm intrigued. I'm again standing here thinking, well, this kind of conflict probably needs to happen at some point. There it's probably been tense. There's a lot of buildup. I'm sure it's been a busy day. And I look over.

And the gentleman checking out does not feel the same as me. You can see that he's so unbelievably uncomfortable with the conflict that is ensuing behind the counter, and he would rather be anywhere but where we are in that moment. And I just thought, do they know we're standing here? Does it occur to them that this is probably an uncomfortable conversation for them to be having this argument? And then I thought, I wonder if this is sarcastic. I wonder if this is a bit that they're doing or that they've already had a fight about, and now it's just lingering.

I'm going through all these different scenarios, but the through line remains that they did not check their surroundings in the sense of is this going to make our customers uncomfortable? Is this an appropriate conversation to have in front of customers? Is this something that should wait until later? Should the conversation be had 100 percent? I think what they were talking about was valid. Where they were doing it was what I was struggling with. So, again, the tip is check your surroundings, especially if your customer facing, but even if you're not.

Are you having a conversation one-on-one in front of a team where you're kind of degrading some of that trust that you've been working so hard to build up? Is it something that could wait until later? I don't think all conflicts should wait because some of it we can use, some of it is necessary for us to grow as a team. But some of the time we need to check our surroundings and we need to wait and have that conversation when we're in a better place to do so.

Desiree (05:25.944)
So again, through line of the tip this week, check your surroundings, make sure what is being said and done is appropriate, pull people into the conversation, engage with them, make sure that your social awareness skills are being worked on at all times. And I hope that if you have experienced a situation like this, that instead of just passing judgment on what is happening in that moment, you can go through the different scenarios, you can take some time to think about why they're having the conversation that they are and think about.

what is a way that you would do it differently and use it as a learning experience. And I was very close to saying something along the lines of, hey girls, I wonder if next time you should wait to have this conversation not in front of customers. But I didn't want to be that person, but that poor gentleman who was checking out, that poor guy. But again, just make sure that what you're doing and where you're doing it is appropriate based on where you work. And everything is gonna be.

Desiree (06:27.416)
So as you enter into this week, just remember to check your surroundings. And I will see you back here next week for a tip.

and I will see you back here every week for a new tip on life and leadership.