Becoming: Growing Capacity for Freedom

In this episode, I’m exploring a thought that’s been sitting with me lately…

What if the real fear isn’t that things won’t work out…
but that they actually will?

Because when you start imagining your life fully working—freedom, flexibility, creating your own income, building something of your own—it sounds incredible.

But underneath that vision… there’s another layer.

The responsibility.
The pressure.
The question of whether you can actually hold that kind of life.

In this episode, I talk about:

• The paradox of wanting freedom but also resisting responsibility
• What it really means to “hold” more money, success, and opportunity
• Building capacity through consistency, micro habits, and the compound effect
• Why you don’t need to feel ready before stepping into your next level
• And how motherhood is the perfect example of growing into something you were never fully prepared for

This is a real-time reflection on becoming the version of yourself who can hold the life you say you want.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back. Welcome to Outside the Script, a podcast where we question the default path and explore what it means to live life differently. I'm your host, Amanda Kuku, and this is where I'm sharing what I'm learning, building, and figuring out in real time. Welcome back, everybody. Happy Wednesday. And so I'm just gonna do a quick little episode about something that I've been pondering and thinking about lately. And so it's what if the real fear isn't that it won't work, but that it actually will. When I imagine my life fully working, the first thing that comes to mind is freedom. Like true freedom, not being dictated by a job, a schedule, a manager, or just by the daily constraints that we have, but actually having the ability to move through my life in a way that feels good. Being able to direct my time and my energy. And honestly, when I even say that out loud, it feels so epically good. But then I feel like there's this other layer, this this like layer of it that feels like a little scary of the level of responsibility that comes with, because it's just not freedom. It's running a business, it's building something, it's creating multiple streams of income and at the same time being a mom, being a wife, being a friend, taking care of yourself, all the day-to-day things that you need to do to keep the ship running. And then being able to hold all that at once. And it's funny because I'll hear myself saying, I don't want any more responsibility in my life. There's days like I've been a mom half of my life. I had my first at 19, he's going on 22, and then I have a seven and a four-year-old. And I've just always had to be responsible my whole life. I've had to grow up really quick when I was younger, and I'm just like, oh, responsibility. But then there's like these this other side of me, and there's other days I'm like literally calling in like massive amounts of responsibility, entrepreneurship, business ownership, creating a life, creating things that I can call my own leadership. And those two thoughts don't fully match. I've been thinking about that, which I think is funny, but I think as humans, we do contradict ourselves in a lot of way, a lot of ways. And just I do want to be more mindful of the signals that I'm putting out into the universe. Yeah, that's just a side note. I just wanted to share that. And then there's like this question of capacity, and that's the big thing that I've been like really trying to like digest and think about and ponder this week. And I even reached out to my friend about the idea of capacity. So, say you're used to making like 150K a year, but then you want to get to that million-dollar mark, the capacity to hold that and the nervous system to hold that and being able to contain that. And I don't even know what that vision fully looks like for me. And I think that's the honest truth. And I don't know exactly what I need to become, but I'll tell you what I'm working on right now to build my capacity to hold lots of responsibility and be able to hold multiple streams of income to hit a completely different financial ceiling. So it's for me, it's like consistency, putting in the reps and shifting my microhabits every single day and focusing on compound effect. And I'm starting to discover, and I just I really think it's like that simple possibly, as by making small shifts in my day-to-day and changing my habits and sh and just hunkering in on like microhabits that I can shift every day. That eventually like lead to huge momentum and help build my capacity to hold the vision that I hold so dear in my heart for me and my family. And I really believe it's those small things as we can we expand our capacity over time. And I don't think it's overnight, and I do think that it's more of a slow burn type of thing. And maybe that's the point. Maybe I don't need to become ready first. Maybe you build the capacity by doing the small things every day, and maybe you grow into becoming the that version or like that that becoming. And when I think about it, I think many of us, most of us here are moms. We've done that before. Motherhood is the perfect example. You're never fully ready, and you don't even understand the full undertaking of what it's going to require to step into that role of made into mother. But you know what? Somehow we figure it out, we adapt, we grow, we kick ass, and we become somebody who can hold it. So, yeah, and that's just what I've been sitting with is this idea of being able to hold it, becoming that version of myself, that capacity. And what if the things we say we want actually requires a version of us that we haven't fully met yet? And what if we don't have all the answers, but we just need to become willing to become her? Yeah. So that's what I'm pondering right now. Those are like thoughts that are circling and what I'm jotting down and digesting. And I reached out to my friend the other day just to ask her thoughts on it, and yeah, so that's really it for today. I just wanted to share where I'm at and thinking about what it takes to become that version of myself that I am becoming, and how do I become her? And how do I increase my capacity to hold multiple levels of responsibility and to come hit a completely different financial ceiling. Anyway, thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you so much. I love you. If this resonates, I would love you to follow along. And I'll see you in the next episode. Have a beautiful day and bye for now.