The In-Between Season: Learning to Trust Uncertainty.

In today’s episode of Outside the Script, Amanda shares an honest conversation about living through an “in-between” season of life. From moving out of their winter rental into a temporary in-law apartment, to rebuilding after mold illness, financial pressure, uncertainty, and major life transitions — this episode explores what it means to trust life when nothing feels fully certain yet.

Amanda opens up about redefining success, craving both freedom and rootedness, navigating unconventional living, nervous system healing, motherhood, and learning how to stop making fear-based decisions. This is a raw and reflective episode about becoming, rebuilding, slowing down, and creating space for a more intentional life.

If you’re navigating uncertainty, life transitions, rebuilding, burnout, healing, or questioning the traditional path, this episode will deeply resonate.

Transcript

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Hello everybody and welcome back. Happy Wednesday, happy Mercury Day. Welcome back to Outside the Script, a podcast about freedom, family, healing, question the default path and creating a life that feels good to live. I'm your host, Amanda Kookru, and today I want to have a conversation about being in between, this in-between season of life. Because right now, my family and I are moving out of our winter rental for the summer. We're moving into an in-law apartment out of town while we figure out the next steps. I'm pretty sure we're just coming back to the winter rental again in the fall. And this season feels like a mix of survival, rebuilding, and becoming all at once. And I think a lot of people are in this season or in some way, shape, or form. Obviously, maybe not the exact circumstances, but a season where like life feels uncertain, when things don't feel fully rooted yet, and we don't completely know then what the next chapter is going to look like. And I think we're often taught to like hide these seasons and to only share once everything is figured out, polished, and stable. And I feel like that's the old me. I would probably do that. And I've said before, like this is very like a big step for me to even just be showing up in this way and just be sharing what is like truly going on. And you know, just being human because I think there's something really human about speaking from the middle. And so I think one of the hardest parts of this season for me, honestly, is like the lack of rootedness. Because I am someone who loves to create a home. I love a home. I love cooking. I love the smells of that. I love decorating. I love feng shuiing. I just love moving energy. I love making spaces feel beautiful, comfortable, and alive and just having my own energy. And I really haven't had that. And it's it's very it that's like hard for me to adjust in a lot of ways. I have adjusted okay. And just not having that does feel challenging emotionally as well in some ways. But at the exact same time, there's another another part of me that craves freedom and unconventional live-in. So it's interesting because I almost feel like I'm getting a taste of what this life would feel like and or like nomadic live-in or just living outside of the box. So this entire season is really just stretching me, soul stretching me in so many ways, because on one hand, I do crave rootedness, but on the other hand, I deeply crave freedom too and travel and just doing life on my own terms. So it is just so interesting. I do think that, you know, as humans, there is just so much duality to all of us. And I think that we can contradict ourselves in many ways, and not even in a bad way. We it doesn't have to be you have to feel this and that. You can feel both at the same time. And so maybe those things that like don't have to be in conflict with each other either, you know? And I think what's interesting is that um, this wasn't a fear-based decision, which that matters to me. I didn't want to rush into another apartment like out of panic, and I didn't want to force answers just because uncertainty feels uncomfortable. And honestly, after everything we've been through over the last few years, especially with the mold situation, losing, you know, so many of our belongings, getting rid of everything, and having an entire sense of home disrupted, I think a part of me sees this season as an opportunity to create something completely new, something different, something more intentional, something more aligned. And I think in a lot of ways, these unconventional live-in situations is buying us time. I'm looking at it as a runway to buy time. So hopefully it will unit will unfold in the way or I'll be led to what's most aligned for my family and myself. And I just need that this time to breathe, to like save, to regroup, to heal, and a time to make better long-term decisions instead of reactive ones. And I think modern culture puts so much pressure on people to have everything figured out immediately, like where are you living, what's the next plan, what's next, what are you doing? And gosh, I'm so guilty of that. And I do do that in a lot of ways. And honestly, I don't fully know. And I think a lot of my life feels unclear right now. And, you know, what's strangely clear to me is who of who I am becoming and how I'm changing and evolving. And I think that's the part I do trust. And I think this season is teaching me how to live in uncertainty and how to sit in the mystery of life without needing every answer immediately. How to trust, even when things don't look fully formed yet. And trust sounds beautiful in theory, right? But actually, living it is very different. And I do truly feel like I do trust life. I really do feel like I do trust life. But, you know, when push comes to shove, yeah, it definitely can get scary and it is hard to trust. But uncertainty is emotionally exhausting sometimes, especially when you have children, responsibilities, bills, dreams, huge dreams, pressure. I think people underestimate how much energy it takes to live inside a transition season. Because transition seasons stretch you, they strip things away, old identities, old definitions of success, old attachments, old expectations. And I really do feel this season is stripping away a lot for me. And I don't even fully have the language for any of it. I'm just like in the middle and I'm not on the other side, and I don't need to have the language in either. I just know, I just feel. And even my, like I said in the last episode, my definition of success is changing. Because this success used to feel more tied to appearance and stability and when things looked like what they looked like from the outside. And now success feels much simpler to me. Success feels more like health, peace, family, freedom, connection, time together, a regulated nervous system, and a life that feels good to wake up to. And I think this season has revealed a little like I think this season has revealed how little we actually need sometimes. Yeah, it's just so true. We just don't need much in life. And I think if you have the basics covered, like you're pretty damn lucky. Yeah, it feels really good. Because at the end of the day, what gives me hope right now is like honestly, two, the simplest things. My health, my children, my husband, being together, being alive, still dreaming, still trying, still rebuilding. And even though the season feels hard and certain, messy, I generally I truly believe one day I'll look back at this chapter and realize it was all worth it. I really do. Because I think some seasons of life aren't meant to make sense while you're inside of them. I think some seasons are simply preparing you for the next version of yourself, and maybe that's it. So, anyway, thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for listening to Outside the Script. If you're in your own in-between season right now, I just want you to know that you are not behind, you're not falling behind, and you don't need to have every answer right now. Sometimes great and space is the answer, sometimes slowing down is the answer. Sometimes the unclear season is a part of the path. So if this episode resonates with you, I would love for you to keep following along. I appreciate you. I love you, and as always, I'll see you in the next episode. Bye for now.