The Story You Tell Yourself Changes Everything

What if the circumstances of your life aren't what determine your experience... but the story you're telling yourself about them?

In this episode of Outside the Script, Amanda shares the lessons she's learning while navigating another major transition—moving into a new home, living in uncertainty, and creating a life that doesn't fit inside the traditional box.

Together, we'll explore:

✨ Why mindset isn't toxic positivity
✨ The power of changing your relationship to your circumstances
✨ Living in the "hallway season" between chapters
✨ Learning to trust yourself when life feels uncertain
✨ Why growth often happens in the messy middle
✨ Creating a life outside the script society hands us

If you're navigating a move, career change, financial stress, relationship transition, health challenge, or simply feeling stuck between what was and what's next, this episode is for you.

Remember: The chapter you're in is not the whole story.

Transcript

0:00

Hello, everybody. Happy Wednesday. Happy Mercury Day. Welcome back to Outside the Script, the podcast where we challenge the conventional thinking, embrace the messy middle, and explore what it means to create a life that feels aligned, intentional, and true to who we are. I'm your host, Amanda Kuku, and I'm so grateful to be here with you. I didn't make it to my mic on Monday because I was just, you know, in the middle of moving. And today I want to talk about something that's been front and center in my own life this week is mindset. You know, not toxic positivity, not pretending everything's okay when it's not. I want to talk about the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories have the power to shape our entire experience of life and circumstances. Because this week, my family moved again. We moved out of our winter rental, we moved into our summer rental. And if I'm being honest, I was completely getting in my head about it, worried about the energy of this space, the logistics, about the uncertainty about what's coming next, about the financial piece. Did I make the right decision for my family? And somewhere between unpacking boxes and cleaning and opening windows and making this place feel like ours and our home, I remembered something really important. The circumstances haven't changed. The story I was telling myself, that changed everything. So today I want to talk about uncertainty, transition, mindset, and why the story you tell yourself might be one of the most powerful forces shaping your life. I mean, if you look at my life from the outside over the last year, it probably looks chaotic. I mean, felt pretty chaotic in a lot of ways. You know, there's been mold, there's been multiple moves, there's been letting go of all of our belongings, uncertainty, question about what's next, living in temporary situations, trying to build a life that doesn't fit neatly into the traditional box. And trust me, there's been moments where I've looked around and thought, like, what am I even doing? Like, seriously, what am I even doing? And by here I've realized the story that I'm choosing to tell about this season isn't that everything is falling apart. The story I'm choosing to tell is I'm in great transition. And I'm living in some, what some people call a liminal space, the place between what was and what will be, the place where one chapter has ended and the next chapter has fully begun. And to be honest, it's uncomfortable, it's messy, it's uncertain. But also where transformation happens. I often think of the lotus flower often. Everybody loves a lotus, but nobody talks about the mud. Nobody admires the mud. Nobody posts pictures about the mud. But without the mud, there's no lotus. And so without uncomfortable seasons, there's no growth. And without uncertainty, there's no becoming. And lately I've been reminding myself, I've stopped mistaking the mud for the whole story. Just because this chapter feels messy doesn't mean it's wrong. And one of the biggest lessons I'm learning lately is that two people can have the same experience, the same circumstances, and tell a completely different story. And so, you know, I've could have told myself we're moving again, nothing feels stable, everything feels uncertain, or I could tell myself we're creating space to make better long-term decisions instead of rushing to the wrong ones. Both statements are true, but they create a completely different reality. Now, don't get me wrong, moving is exhausting, living outside of boxes is exhausting. Having to buy furniture, household items because this apartment wasn't fully furnished wasn't exactly a part of the dream. It's unconventional, it's stressful, it can get expensive. But when I zoom out and I look at the bigger picture, I know this was the best decision for this season. And sometimes mindset isn't about changing the circumstances. Sometimes mindset is about changing your relationship to the circumstance. And I think a lot of people are living in what I would call a hallway season. You left one room, but you haven't fully entered the next one yet. And hallways can be uncomfortable, and nobody wants to stay in a hallway forever, but every meaningful transition requires one. And I think so many people mistake being in a hallway for being lost, but they're not the same thing. Being in transition doesn't mean you're lost. Being uncertain doesn't mean, you know, you're off track. It means you are becoming. One thing I've been exploring lately is what it means to create a life outside of the box, a life that feels unconventional, a life that feels intentional, a life that doesn't necessarily follow the script of society that they handed us. You know, I've dreamed of traveling, I've dreamed of world schooling, I've dreamed of unschooling, I've dreamed of, you know, I've always dreamed of living a life of freedom and even exploring what it means to live nomadically and designing life that feels aligned with my values. But here's one thing that I'm learning. You can't ask for an unconventional life, you can't ask for an unconventional life while demanding conventional levels of certainty. The two just do not go together. And so if I want to live outside the box, I have to be comfortable with standing where there is no box, where there are no lines, where there is no square. I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I have to learn how to trust myself when things don't look the way that I thought they would. And honestly, I think that's one of the greatest gifts this season could absolutely offer me. And one of the biggest mind shifts that I had this week happened when I realized I was spending so much time worrying about the energy of the new place. Would it feel good? Would it feel right? Would I like being here? You know, X, Y, Z, you name it. It ran through my head. And then I had to remember something. I am the magic. The magic's not going to come from the apartment, the place. The magic comes from me. I create the atmosphere. I create the feeling. I create the experience. I light the candles, I open the windows, I bring the love, I bring the warmth, I bring the energy, I bring the intention, I bring it all. I am the magic. And suddenly I wasn't feeling powerless anymore. And that's when my mind started to shift. And I needed to remember that because I'm not at the mercy of any environment. I helped create it. And honestly, that's this lesson goes far beyond a house or anything. It applies to all of life. Your relationships, your business, your dreams, your next chapter. The magic isn't somewhere outside of wanting to be discovered. The magic comes from you. And I think mindset does get misunderstood on some levels because people think mindset means pretending everything is positive. And that's been been one of my biggest lessons as well this year. But I've talked about that in previous episodes. But it's not what mindset means to me. Mindset isn't pretending everything is okay. Mindset isn't choosing to like make everything okay. It's acknowledging that something is hard while refusing to let hardship define the entire chapter. It's recognizing uncertainty without making uncertainty your identity. It's deciding that this season is happening for growth rather than assuming it's happened to like to punish me or whatever. I don't know if that's the right word. But the truth is that your mind is always creating a story. So the question is, is this story helping you or hurting you? And when I ask myself what this season is teaching me, the answer feels clear. It's teaching me trust, it's teaching me surrender, it's teaching me flexibility, it's teaching me how to become comfortable with uncertainty. And most importantly, it's teaching me if I truly want to create a life outside of the box, I have to become the kind of human who can thrive outside of the box. I have to trust myself more than I trust my circumstances. I have to trust that I'm exactly where I need to be, even when I can't see the full picture, even when the next chapter hasn't arrived, even when life feels messy. So if you're listening right now and you're in the hallway season, maybe you're navigating a career change, a move, a relationship transition, a health transition, a financial challenge, a health challenge, or maybe you're simply standing in the uncomfortable space between what was and what will be. I want to remind you of something. The chapter is not the whole story. It's not a moment that's going to last forever. And just because you can't see what's next doesn't mean nothing is unfolding. Maybe this season is stretching you into the person you are becoming. Maybe it's preparing you for something bigger. Maybe it's teaching you to trust yourself in ways that you never have before. And maybe the goal isn't to wait until life feels certain. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. Until next time, keep questioning the script. You've been handed, keep creating a life that feels true to you. And remember, the magic isn't somewhere out there. The magic comes with you and from you. I'll see you in the next episode. I love you. I'm grateful for you, and I will talk to you next time. Bye.