When Life Gets Loud, I Get Clear

Outside the Script is a space for honest conversations about life, growth, and what it really means to live in alignment in a modern world that often moves too fast.

Hosted by Amanda Curcuru, this podcast explores the messy middle of becominnavigating change, questioning old paths, and learning to trust your own timing even when life feels uncertain.

Lately, the conversation has been evolving into something more rooted: slowing down, reconnecting with nature, honoring the rhythms of the body, and remembering what it means to live in a more cyclical, intentional, and sustainable way.

This is a space for pivoting without shame, for listening to your body over pressure, and for coming back to what feels natural, nourishing, and true.

If you’re in a season of transition, re-evaluation, or rebuilding your life in a way that feels more aligned with who you really are not who you were told to be...this space is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello and welcome back. Happy Moonday. Happy Monday. Welcome back to Outside the Script. I'm your host, Amanda Cuckoo. I'm so grateful to be here. I didn't make it to my mic last week. And yeah, it just felt so busy. And I just didn't know. Like I felt so over stimulated and over consumed and tired and working a lot. And I Layla, my youngest, graduated from school, and we had sing alongs and all the things. And just going through my own inner alchemy as well. And I want to talk about what I've been calling is this like messy middle, the in-between season, and where I'm just exploring different paths and trying on new things. And I mean, that is me. I'm always exploring new things and trying new things and trying to, you know, just figure it out and figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I'm 41 and I still don't quite know, but that's okay. This is a part of the journey. And I'm realizing what you can do isn't always what you are actually meant to do long term. And that's been a big reflection for me this week and lately. I've been reflecting a lot around work and passion and what kind of life feels sustainable and true for me. And what I've also been noticing is how easy it is to get pulled into a fast, loud, consistent way of living that doesn't leave much space to breathe, to think, and to actually feel connected to myself. And so this episode is kind of about that and where I am right now and what's coming up and like what's alive. And yeah, I just kind of want to talk about like passion and pivoting and what it looks like to start to choose in a more slower, more intentional, more aligned way of living and still be in the middle of figuring it out. Like I've shared in previous episodes. So we moved into our summer rental. We're here for, I don't know, maybe till September, maybe till October. We're not quite sure. And then we'll go back to our winter rental in our hometown. We're about, you know, a half hour away from our hometown. And it's been a pain. But I also have to keep reminding myself that I chose this, right? So but I'm commuting back and forth six times a day, and that's like at least three hours of my day right there, just in the car commuting back and forth. Not a big deal to some, but for me, it's a waste of time, and time is money, right? But also I have to keep putting myself, put it into perspective, like this is only a season, I chose this. But in all this, is I'm realizing so many different things in this opportunity, this season that we're living in. And you know, and I've been realizing more and more that there's a big difference between also like what I can do and actually like what I'm passionate about. And I've been thinking about in this process of like really listening to that is the difference because life has been felt really full in a way that doesn't like really sustain me, my family in the long term. Just the multiple trips back and forth, and I've been working a lot more this season, and everything's just felt really fast and loud and consistent and busy and always moving, and even like where we live right now, we live on a like a main road to the the highway, and it is very, very, very loud, and I'm used to that. Like it's so loud, it's like so ajarring sometimes, and I was just like, okay, like I definitely don't ever want this for myself or my family or my future. And I also what I've started noticing, like something really important in myself, is like when life gets like this, I don't feel grounded, I don't feel connected to myself as much. I don't feel like I have the space to even hear myself think or feel what I'm actually feeling or integrate anything that's like even happened in my life because it just becomes do-do-do. And in that place, I it doesn't feel good. I don't feel settled, I don't feel, you know, grounded. And I also don't feel like myself. And I noticed, and is that when I'm disconnected from like a more slow and slower life, or just having, you know, some downtime and more time just to have some more like rhythm here. And, you know, being like even disconnected from nature and the earth and things that really nourish me, I get grumpy. My energy drops, I feel less vibrant, and I feel like a loss of access to like almost like something that's essential to me, like my soul. And I think that if I'm being honest, for me to admit, like, because this is like honestly has me asking a deeper question, what kind of actual life do I want to be living? Because I don't think the answer is in just pushing through and normalizing, you know, feelings, feeling or normalized, feeling disconnected from myself. And I think something in me is trying to get my attention and a lot is like, you know, coming up for me to explore. And I'm learning a lot in this, you know, whole journey, even over the last, you know, several months. And so, say if I stripped away all the noise, all the pressure, all the ideas of what I should be doing and what makes sense externally, I keep coming back to something like really simple these days. I don't know if you know, um, I am an I have a background in herbalism. I studied at uh the Gaia School of Healing for three years. I studied at a Margot Margie Flint, Blazing Star, and all that. And, you know, that was like in those times in my life is when I felt the most alive and the most happy, right? And so I do want to, you know, I want to return back to that. I'm like realizing I want a life that feels in sync with nature, a life that feels cyclical instead of rushed, because women by nature are cyclical beings. And so a life where I'm like rising with the sun, slowing down with the sunset, going to bed earlier, in a way that feels nourishing and intentional, and spending more time outside, feeling the sunlight on my face, grounding my body, uh, I would say walking barefoot on the earth. I want more time to like down-regulate throughout my day, more space to breathe, more space to actually be present in my life instead of constantly just going. And I think it's so important that we cultivate time for laughter and connection and family and for community. And I also really do love to work though. I always, even if it's not like in the traditional sense of like working a job, like I'm always working in some type of capacity. Like I enjoy it, but like I want work that feels sustainable, that feels good, a work that doesn't pull me away from myself or my family, a work that supports my life instead of consuming it. Because I don't think the answer is to like stop working. No, or disconnect from your responsibility. Absolutely not. And I do believe in the value of hard work. I absolutely do. And I do think that you have to work to get things in life. But for me, it's like I want to work hard towards something that's super aligned and sustainable and that has rhythm in truth. And so, you know, when I start to Zumo, I realized that I've been craven isn't just like a different job or a different schedule. It is like definitely a different way of life. And this has been the premise of the podcast of like figuring this out. And in this, in this season, I'm just realizing like I need, I do, I think I even like physically need just like a more a life that is just more deeply connected to Gaia, the earth, more intentional, more honest, more slow. And I think this is, yeah, I think too, like I I want this podcast to start shifting. And I think that's kind of what I've been sitting with this week. And because I'm just like shifting, and this whole transition of moving to the summer rental and this whole even just whole journey over the last several months, like so much is just constantly shifting and pivoting for me. And but I think I've had some big realizations this last week for sure. And so what I used to think about was just like talking about life and growth and mindset. But I feel like it's starting to like shift into something a little more rooted. I want to, you know, talk more about being connected to our bodies, to nature, to healing, to the rhythms we actually come from, but we often forget and neglect in this modern life. And so I'm letting this space kind of evolve with me. And I've been thinking too of like sometimes you need to teach and embody the things that you need the most. Or I love this saying of if you don't know your purpose in life, or if you can't figure it out, go to your wound. Your wound will usually reveal what you need to teach and what you're meant to do. And so for me, what I feel like I need the most right now is to get reconnected with the earth to embody herbalism to embody more of my, you know, my background in holistic health and healing, and you know, just to really be in syncing up with the rhythms of the earth, but when just navigating that in modern life, in the season that we're in right now, and the job that I'm in right now. And so, yeah, this is kind of where I'm at, and kind of I feel like it's going to shift, and I'm gonna be sharing more about you know, herbalism and nature and healing. So I guess the deeper message in all this is simple. You're allowed to notice when something doesn't feel good anymore, right? I am the queen of pivoting, and I don't really have any shame in that. Um, I'm allowed to want a slower life, I'm allowed to change, I'm allowed to change direction when my body and my truth start speaking louder than my plans. And I don't think I'm lost. I like always would think like I'm lost, but I'm like in a place I'm like, I'm not lost. I'm just really listening right now. And so if there's one thing I hope that you take from the opposite, is that you're allowed to listen to yourself. You're allowed to notice when something doesn't feel good anymore. You're allowed to outgrow things, you're allowed to pivot, you're allowed to want a life that feels slower, more grounded, more aligned with who you are. And I don't think clarity comes from having everything figured out. Sometimes it comes from being honest about what doesn't feel right anymore. And honestly, too, another thing that I've learned is that clarity comes from action. That's like been my biggest thing. Take action, you'll find clarity. Clarity does not become before action. And that's been another one of my big lessons. And so by starting this podcast, it's already like shifted. I just started it and I'm like, okay, now we're gonna pivot. But I had to start the podcast first, right? And I really believe the more that we come back to what's natural for us, what feels rooted, what feels nourishing, what feels true, the more our life starts to reorganize around that. And I think I'm holding this intention of when you start doing things that you are truly passionate about and want to do, I feel like you will always be divinely compensated. So I'm holding that intention. So, whatever, wherever you are in your own in between season, just know you're not behind. You might just be in the part where things are starting to get honest. All right, that's it for today. I'm so grateful for all of you. I love you, and I'll talk to you in the next episode. Bye for now.