The Hidden Place: Where Pain Shapes Calling Prelude

Are you working through your healing journey? This mini two-part series is for you! With love, care, and faith in mind--Brittany Janelle and Dr. Dequies reflect on their personal healing journey and share insights from lessons learned. Their goal is simple: to help women navigate The Hidden Place: Where Pain Shapes Calling

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Hey ladies, here's a disclaimer for this episode. Healing is a journey. We share from lessons we've learned, and we're still learning. We share through the lens of our faith and not perfection. So before we get started in our conversation, there's a couple of things that we wanted to do to frame this conversation. It's very important that we give you this layer before we get into the show. Much of this conversation has to do with the basis of your healing journey before we can even discuss being in the season of your weight. The healing journey, it begins with revealing the inner wound. Without this self-work, we find ourselves in relationships that heighten the very wound we may not even be aware exist. And we are aware sometimes of that wound, but we seek a savior outside of the Lord to heal that wound. We build relationships that we hope will fill a space that only God can fill. So before we get started, there are a few areas of the healing journey we've learned that are pivotal. And so we're going to break this down for you. And we hope that this will serve as a framework for your life to understand how to partner with the right people. And those pivotal areas are identity, discernment, and sanctification. Identity, how do you see yourself? What is your core wound? Do you know your God-given purpose? What is your vision for life outside of any other person? This includes outside of how your family and friends see you as well. How do you see yourself and what you're meant to do in this life? And I think it's important to look at that outside of friends and family because sometimes the influences and the projections of others on who we are can cause us to see ourselves differently. So you really got to be able to look at yourself through how God sees you and how you see yourself. And the next one is discernment. How well do you assess the people, places, and things in your life for alignment? This has to be a very important one. So stick with me. Can you distinguish authentic character according to the fruits of the spirit? Do you shrink yourself to be in alignment with someone else's needs, wants, or expectations? Can you fairly quickly accept the guidance of the Holy Spirit, that inner voice, when something feels off, or do you rationalize it away? Do you see others' advice on something to affirm you? Is prayer and trust in God what you practice before making a decision? Does saying no or holding your boundaries make you feel guilty? Do you constantly feel the need to fix the connection or relationship? Are you holding it up all on your own? Do you feel blamed when things go wrong instead of genuine accountability from both parts and an openness to revisit issues? Or are your conversations flipped? Past insecurities are brought up, turned against you, and now the conversation is no longer the issue at hand that you started with, but you now start to feel like there's something wrong with you. Does someone shut down and silence, detach, become cold and distant until you expand your energy to try to draw them back closer, okay, to gain their approval again? And only after you make it right are they willing to invest time and attention into you again. Is someone else always going through more than you? Your issues never matter, they can never really show up for you. Excuses always exist as to why they forgot, didn't remember, were too busy, and so on. Somehow it ends up becoming your fault that they forgot or didn't show up for you when you truly desired their support. Do they show up for you often? And instead of the one we just discussed, they show up for you often and they do things for you, but there is always a price to pay. You are a burden and there's a debt you owe. And even if they don't say that, it's what you feel off of their behavior. If they show up for you, they are now keeping a mental scorecard of all that they did for you. And now you're ungrateful and you've taken advantage of them according to them. This is discernment. This is so important in the healing journey because if you never get this part, it's so easy to fall into a loop of thinking this is a good person. They just dot dot dot fill in the blank. Because when we don't have discernment, this is where we start to rationalize the connection. And then the third one is sanctification to be set apart for God's special purpose and to be made holy. And two scriptures that I want to reference. And that is the new living translation. When we're going through sanctification, God is shaping and molding us to reflect more of who he is and his character. Philippians 2 and 13, for it is God who works in you both to will and work for his good pleasure. And that's the English Standard Version. And so this brings us to the stillness of the waiting. And this is the show we're getting ready to talk to you about and have a conversation about the waiting season. But before we can talk waiting season, we really needed to talk about the healing journey and the three components that really make the healing journey one thing that you understand has to happen. And the healing journey is that one thing, but there's three components of it that are birthed in your life, and that's the identity, the discernment, and the sanctification. And then we can have more fruitful relationships when those things are starting to work out for our good and for the glory of God. And many women know that they're becoming a woman who can carry purpose, but what we don't talk about enough is the waiting in between.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Hi, ladies. This is Brittany Janelle with the Ray and Seth Podcast, partnering with the keys to talk about the middle place where pain shapes calling. Wow. All I can say is what a powerful prelude. There was so much depth in what was shared. And honestly, I feel like I'm still sitting with it. This conversation went deep, y'all. So deep that we had to break it into two episodes. And as I reflect on it, one of my biggest takeaways for me when it comes to healing is understanding that it's a journey. Healing is layered. It's something that unfolds over time. And a lot of the time, it's very uncomfortable. It becomes even more uncomfortable as you learn to truly sit with yourself, to confront the things that you've avoided, to unpack what hurts you, and to be honest about the patterns you developed along the way. One thing that I've realized is that type of reflection is far from easy. But you know what? It's necessary. Because real healing requires patience, it requires presence, and it requires the courage to face yourself without rushing the process. So as we close up this prelude, I hope you take a moment this week to reflect on the following things. Where are you in your healing journey? What is being refined in you right now? And what would it look like for you to give yourself grace throughout the process? All right, y'all. Be sure to tune in to both episodes because I can tell you this conversation is just the beginning.