Why Moms Think They Have to Do It All at Christmas (and How Besties Break the Spell)

Why Moms Think They Have to Do It All at Christmas (and How Besties Break the Spell)

The holiday magic you see on the outside often comes at the cost of a mother’s sanity on the inside.
 In this episode of Slightly Unsupervised, Jennifer and Jackie dive into the emotional, mental, and invisible labor women carry every Christmas—the lists, the gifts, the decorating, the expectations, the pressure to make everyone else’s season “magical,” and the exhaustion no one seems to notice.

Jennifer reflects on the generational patterns of motherhood, how traditions get passed down (or skipped entirely), and why women feel responsible for holding every holiday together. Jackie opens up about the self-imposed pressure to create perfection—why she does it, why she can’t stop, and how it somehow still brings her joy even when it burns her out. Together, they unpack where these beliefs start (hello childhood programming), how the “good girl/caretaker” identity shows up in December, and why moms secretly fear asking for help.

And then there’s the bestie piece—the part that saves us.
 Best friends are often the only ones who say, “You don’t have to carry all this.”
They’re the ones we vent to, cry to, laugh with, and call when Christmas feels like a full-time job we never applied for.

In this episode:
 🎄 The generational roots of holiday pressure (grandmas, moms, and the invisible baton)
 🎄 Why moms struggle to delegate or ask for help
 🎄 The emotional labor women carry during the holidays (that no one talks about)
 🎄 How partners often don’t see the extra load — and why
 🎄 The moment every mom hits her Christmas breaking point
 🎄 How besties help us stay grounded, laugh, and remember we don’t have to be Santa + Mrs. Claus + Superwoman
 🎄 Bestie Rapid Questions to end on a laugh and a little truth

Content note: conversations around emotional labor, overwhelm, and holiday pressure in mothering and partnership

🎵 Closing Song: “Definition of a Best Friend” by Brooke August & Hannah Rose
Follow Brooke on YouTube: @brookeaugust

If this episode hit you in the feels—or made you laugh way too hard—we consider that a win.

Hit subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with your ride-or-die. 💛

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This episode of Slightly Unsupervised was brought to you by the creators of Bestiemony®—the original friendship ceremony that proves soulmates don’t always come with a marriage license. Hosted by Jennifer and Jackie: best friends, business partners, and co-founders of the movement celebrating real, ride-or-die love.

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Transcript

Jennifer 0:00

Hey there, I'm Jennifer. And I'm Jackie. And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind testimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with a marriage license.

Jackie 0:11

This podcast is all about that friendship energy. The deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh to you snort stuff.

Jennifer 0:17

So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

Jackie 0:22

Let's get slightly unsupervised. Today's episode is about why moms think they have to do it all and how besties break the spell. Let's see. Here's the thing. Moms don't just do Christmas. We become Christmas. But why? Why are we the ones carrying the emotional, mental, and physical load for everyone else? Today we're digging into where that pressure even comes from childhood, culture, family patterns, and why besties are often the only people who can help us see we don't have to be Santa, Mrs. Claus, and the entire North Pole all by ourselves.

Jennifer 0:56

Absolutely. That is the truth. And Jackie, you are much more probably pressured by this because I think your role of mothering the entire group of your little um family over there puts a lot of pressure on you. I my children are a little older right now, although I just got a grandson. So this could go back into that mode, although, you know, you never know. We have a lot of dynamics in a family now. But when it was the kids were younger, I could totally, completely, 100% identify with this because you do end up being sort of the navigator of everything come Christmas. And I know it can be overwhelming for you. So the thing that that we kind of read before we started this was that our mothers did it and then their mothers did it. And I think in my case, and probably in your case, you can talk for yourself, my grandmother did it, and now I'm doing it the way my grandmother did it. Because I don't think in my mind, I have a Christmas where my mother was in charge of all this stuff. I think once my grandmother got too old, I took over and did it. And that's because I had the children were small and the kids want, you know, my family wanted to be around my children and stuff. So I the paton passed from my grandmother to me. What about your life? How did that go for you?

Jackie 2:07

Um, I would say like our family was always together. We never had company at my home with my parents. It was just us and our parents. No, nothing like that. But we would go down. I remember going to grandma's house and everybody would get together. Even as I got older.

Jennifer 2:21

Is that was it set? Like I know at my grandmother's house it was every Christmas Eve we were at my grandmother's house, and then my parents were divorced, so every Christmas morning I went with my dad to my other grandparents' house.

Jackie 2:30

No. Our family never had a set tradition, ever. Never that I can remember. Unless I'm like blanking it out and I'm not realizing it. I am pretty positive. It was like once in a while, and then I remember going to grandma's at times. Um, and not my it was my grandma that um is now 99, gonna be a hundred. Um not the other grandmothers, yeah, not the other ones.

Jennifer 2:52

Yeah.

Jackie 2:53

Not that we wouldn't see her, but there was never ever a tradition with her. She didn't have really traditions.

Jennifer 2:58

Right. But so if so if your grandmother had it, so was it a production?

Jackie 3:03

Like did you gain that sort of thought process that these motherfuckers I just remember everybody getting together and how fun it was, appetizers, the meal, everybody hanging out, that type of thing. But I think um when I started to have a family, it's when I made my I think I made my own traditions more that way. Did you? Yep. And it was always Christmas Eve. And with my ex, it was I had my family over. He always had to work because of his business most of the time. I mean, there's a few times I think my family did their own thing, and so I ended up over at his family's. But I always tried to do it where I had my family together on Christmas Eve with my kids after I had children.

Jennifer 3:47

You mean your your side of the family, your parents and stuff.

Jackie 3:50

Exactly.

Jennifer 3:50

Yeah. So you said really what so when my gen in my case, my grandmother did it every Christmas Eve. It was the same thing. You went over there, you ate, did uh, even when she moved into her own home when my grandfather died and she lived on her own. We were always at my grandmother's house. That was always just a solid plan.

Jackie 4:08

She had a very solid tradition, yeah.

Jennifer 4:10

So for me, it followed suit. So as my grandmother was just too old, and maybe the last, you know, five, ten years of her life, I was doing it. Besides, I had kind of come up in the ranks and I had these children. So I kind of took over that that responsibility for my grandmother just to give my grandmother a piece on that. But there was never a baton from my grandmother to my mother. I don't ever remember my mother having a holiday like that. And then I took on. But it's you know, I think we do it as mothers for sure, because of the children, wanting that, wanting those children to have a tradition.

Jackie 4:45

Yeah, and I think I started more of a tradition that I set, especially being in a divorced family, that with my ex, I will always have them Christmas Eve. That was the arrangement. And then you could have them on Christmas morning. Yeah, you know, and I was like that.

Jennifer 5:00

You didn't switch back and forth. Some parents, I know some divorce, yeah, they switch back. So you just said, I'll do Christmas Eve, you do Christmas every year, we'll not we'll just So literally this year is going to be the first year I have had my son, my youngest baby.

Jackie 5:15

He's gonna be, let's see, just turned what 28 every single year Christmas year since Christmas Eve since he's been born. And now he's married, having a baby, which I totally understand. I knew this was gonna happen. I'm just gonna have to do this. Um, but he of course wants to be with his his wife and pregnant. And last few years, keep in mind they've done good. She's went to her family's because they're in Northern California, and he's been here because he has to work, and they're so that he still kept coming here and she'd go up there so they wouldn't spend Christmas Eve together. Um, I think they'd meet back up by Christmas night or the next day. But now that they're having a baby and stuff, they actually he's like, I need to be with my wife. I'm like, I totally get it. I knew one day it's gonna happen to me.

Jennifer 5:57

Sure. Absolutely.

Jackie 5:58

Of course I'm glad I got him this long.

Jennifer 6:01

Right? You got 28 years of that. So that's like everybody's surprised.

Jackie 6:04

Really? He's not going up. Nope. Nope. He's staying with, he's doing the tradition. He's coming here for Christmas.

Jennifer 6:09

So is his new plan to go back and forth in one year you guys one year with okay. That's fair. Yeah, because there'll be a grandchild here. I mean, this is my grandson's first Christmas, so I'm very excited that it's gonna be so fun for you. I know, but he's like two months old.

Jackie 6:24

So it's like fun. I know. It's fun. I can remember the bit because remember we used to make videos. We had video cameras back when my kids were little. So I have so much more memories. Like now you just kind of do your phone for a few minutes, but now it's looking back at those videos. I'm so happy because I remember I think Trevor, or maybe it was Travis. So Travis was born in October, which is the same as yours. November, December. Wasn't he born in October? Yeah, born October 22nd. Yeah. So Travis was 25th. So literally, you would set your camera up and have it like pretty much during the whole party so you'd see everything. Travis is like on the floor part of the time, people picking him up, playing with them or holding them, but you're trying to keep him away from the other like little cousins that they all want to hold. Yeah. No, he just he's fine on the floor. Let him go.

Jennifer 7:13

I assume you mean in a cradle or something, just laying on the floor. Was he just on the floor?

Jackie 7:17

The old days, no. We'd have a blanket and you just put him on the floor. You just lay there. It's not because they didn't roll over back then. Yeah, that's true. You know, at that age. So back then, we didn't have all these special little things where you put them up off the ground, you do all this. Like nobody cared, nobody stepped on it. But we literally have pictures, and you can see like at some point where people are on the floor and they're like talking, baby talking. You're like, oh, they were talking to Travis, you know. Right. It's a baby. Oh, that's just funny the difference.

Jennifer 7:44

So you basically have come through this needing to have this Christmas pressure put on by your own doing, Miss Jockey. Is that true? Yeah, I do. Okay. You do.

unknown 7:54

I know.

Jackie 7:56

Well, I and I actually took it over because my my husband now, his mother used to do it at her. Okay.

Jennifer 8:03

Oh, okay.

Jackie 8:05

But it got to where she can't do the cooking anymore. She can't do all this stuff. So we were doing everything. And it's like, why bring everything to her house? It's so hard. Right. Like how it might be. Let's just make it easy. Yeah. Let's just come to our house. We have it decorated, the lights are on. She likes it really dark. Half the time you open your presence and you're like, What is it? Can you all try to turn on the lights and she turned them back down? It's like the family joke.

Jennifer 8:31

You're like, does anybody have their their uh flashlight on their phone?

Jackie 8:35

Seriously. So come over with like spotlights on your head. Just kind of move it. Because one year we even surprised her and I went there, she was gone, and I put lights inside the house, like decorative lights and stuff, and then we put more like Christmas lights outside. Kind of so she didn't really realize what was going on, and more lights inside. So we're like, okay, maybe this year we'll be able to see stuff.

unknown 8:55

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Didn't work out as well.

Jennifer 8:57

Love her, but um yeah. Well, every family's different, right? You joined a family and that was the tradition, and you just had to learn to kind of get used to it, which we all do. I mean, that's just part of it. I know that and my my I live in Tennessee now and my sister's here, so we spend every holiday with my family now. That's we used to go back and forth more when we were in California, but we don't have to do that anymore because it's just too far and it's the distance is pretty big. And the kids are grown. I mean, it's not like they're like, you know, 15 years old. They're 20, they're in their 30s now, actually. The youngest one's in their 30s now, too. So, you know, it's been a long time. But I think with as mothers, and this is a a soundbite that I think is pretty true, is that we we weren't really taught to enjoy the Christmas. We were taught to create it for everybody else to to enjoy. And we can really take that almost too far to the point where we can get ourselves very frustrated or tired and frustrated with everybody. Yeah.

Jackie 9:49

Like I said, that movie, what was the name of the movie I told you with Michelle Pfeiffer? They just had. Yeah. Gosh, I can't believe I can't. I should have wrote it down. Anywho, I'm sure if everybody's been watching Prime, it's been out there and it's a really good show to watch. But it's about how everybody forgot about her.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Right.

Jackie 10:06

And she's doing everything.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Right.

Jackie 10:08

And it's it's like you just sometimes you need to think about what what they're doing, you know.

Jennifer 10:14

I can identify with that because I know when my husband had his kids and I have my kids, and I'm doing everything, like putting together my whole family came up. So I was entertaining my family. I was entertaining, making sure all the kids got their gifts. I was an overbuyer of gifts. Like I'm still a gift giver, like I love giving gifts. And so wrapping them every single one of them, so they had everything to open. I mean, there's like all these variables in my head that have to go as a perfect childhood would go. And I know that my children always appreciated it from a standpoint of I overdid it at Christmas. I overdid it way more than any other holiday. It's my favorite holiday. So, you know, I know the pressure of it. And then you get all that done, like dealing with my sister and her kids, my dad, my stepmom, my mom, my stepdad. I always fell, I'm in this one house with all these brother and his kids. And it's like at the end of it, you're just like, they're like, you know, maybe you snap at somebody or you're frustrated or something, and they're like, God, well, look, I just put on an entire production, like by myself. I was the director, I was the editor, I was the coordinator, I meant to make sure all of that. And then you get to the end of it, and maybe you have one moment where you're not in your best self, and they're like, Oh my god, like what is wrong with her? And you're like, what in the world? I just I just can I have a breakdown moment. Yes, right, right.

Jackie 11:38

I can't. Or if you get someone critiquing it, like your child if one of your children critique something like, well, you just make it all like so special, it's not special at my house. Wait, we're grandparents, isn't that what we're supposed to do? Like, I don't understand. Like, we cannot do anything.

Jennifer 11:55

Right. There we go. Give some grace to these women that are busting their rear ends, trying to put a production together that you don't have to do anything but come and enjoy because she has taken all of the heat for it and created all the pro, you know, has all the responsibility on her shoulders that she carries. And you guys are over.

Jackie 12:12

Well, I was well, that movie I was talking about too, Michelle Fife. So she's doing all the food too. Like, no one's and I'm like, that's what I do every single year.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

I know.

Jackie 12:20

And it's like people want to help, but then all of a sudden, like I have someone help and like, oh, can you do the salad? They don't even have it like even prepared. They're like, I need to wash it now and dry it. And they're here, and it's like, we're about to serve the meal. What? Like, I've been preparing making this lasagna for freaking three, four days. You couldn't get the salad.

Jennifer 12:41

It'd be like, oh, okay, I'll do it. Let me bring everything over and cook it over there. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. It's a production zone. You're not allowed in here. Like, we're not doing production. Yeah, I know.

Jackie 12:51

Or they all come like, oh, we're gonna make like I just did something recently, and and it was like, oh, well, I'll make this when I get there. Wait, you told me you were gonna make something ahead of time that kind of works. Yeah. Now you're gonna mess up my kitchen and pull all this other stuff out. Right. We have everything all in line. Like I'm one of those 80 new people, yeah, OCD, like I I everything. So I'm like, I need everything organized. Right. Now you're throwing my whole thing off. So I get, and this is my own fault. So in my head, I'll just do it all.

Jennifer 13:23

Right.

Jackie 13:24

Because if I have to count on these people to help me, but they can't do it right.

Jennifer 13:29

I can't do it the way I need them to do it, which is, you know, in the production mode that I am. I'm on though.

Jackie 13:34

You make it a salad and you've got to wash the salad and everything you were about to eat. Hello. And you gotta dry it. Like, come on.

Jennifer 13:41

I know totally. That is the truth. I always I'm not a cook, so I don't have that pressure on me. I've always just like this year I'm having Christmas Eve at my house. My family's coming, everybody's we're gonna play games and stuff. And it's like I'm already up, we have a grocery store Publix that has really good or dirty food trays that you could buy. I'm on there, I'm like, which ones am I gonna get? Because that's all I'm gonna do. Like, I don't have our tradition, is our lasagna.

Jackie 14:03

So my lasagna that I make.

Jennifer 14:05

But homemade the Christmas day is usually at my sister's house, and um that meal is more like a meal, you know what I mean? Like turkey. I don't know what we have. I it doesn't really bother me what we have.

Jackie 14:18

You know, my Christmas day. My Christmas day is my leftovers and taking Christmas down. I'm done. Yeah. Yeah, you've got to be. Or maybe it's because, maybe because it is of everything. It's like, I just want to get rid of this now. Done.

unknown 14:30

Exactly.

Jackie 14:31

Never thought of it till just now. But yeah, I'm freaking done.

Jennifer 14:34

Another minute of this going on in my life, tear it down. Tear it down. That is probably what's happened. You have literally exhausted yourself to the point of I can't even look at this stuff anymore. Put it away, and the next year you do it again. I know. That's motherhood, right? So when I first put it out, I'm like, oh, um, I love it. Day after you're like, I hate it. Get it out of here. It's God, get it out. But, anyways, moms struggle to ask for help, and there's some fears of things that they are that happen. It's the fears of things not getting done right. That's you, Jackie, right there. Yeah. The fear of being judged. You know, moms get judged. I just I just went through a story where you do everything and then you come out, you have one bad moment, and they're like, oh my God, what is wrong with you? And it's like, yeah, what is wrong with me? Oh my God, do this job. Anyways, the fear of dropping the ball and being the problem, the guilt that women carry, the condition to prioritize everybody but themselves. That is a never-ending problem with women. And we've got to change that narrative somehow because there used to be a time that mothers only did mothering, right? They were home, they were homemakers, whatever. So all that responsibility was put on them. The husband went to work and the wife did everything, right? That's the old generation. That's how it used to work. And that's okay. And then at some point, the 60s or 70s, women went to work. And they now have full-time jobs, and the responsibility of taking care of everything at home never shifted. It's the same responsibility, and they have a full-time job. So now it's not only is she caring for all this, she's now working full-time, and it has never corrected itself, and it has to get corrected at some point.

Jackie 16:08

And I was and I was listening to a younger um uh, let's see, she's 37, I think, yesterday. And her husband works full-time, she works full-time, they kids are in school, like all this stuff. And she's like trying to tell her husband, like, she's exhausted. And he's like, Well, I'm working all the time too. Like they work a lot of hours, both of them. But she's all, yeah, but you're not having to take care of all the presents. You're not having to take, she's like, I'm not trying to act like you're not doing anything. I totally think you are. And so it was hard for her to explain to him, which I thought was so interesting because we were going to do this episode at that age, that she's all, but you don't know the extra stuff I'm doing, too.

Jennifer 16:48

No, because she doesn't ever reckon she never actually says anything that she's doing.

Jackie 16:52

No, and I never do either. I always act like got it. Nope. Yeah, yeah. I think I'm more bent to my girlfriends and stuff.

Jennifer 16:58

Right.

Jackie 16:59

Instead of like, you know, I probably shouldn't do this anymore. But I do want to do it because I do love to see when they open their presents. I love everybody being here. I love everybody, you know, being together. Because I think if we didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. I don't think we'd have everybody together that we have together.

Jennifer 17:14

No on that Christmas Eve. No. It wouldn't. Women bring the the family nurturing system together. I'm not saying no man's never done it because he has, but the whole for the entirety of most of it, women are the ones that keep that kind of stuff together and make the world go round for not only her husband, not only her family, for all of her kids. She is turning that thing on a 24-7, moving it around in an orbit.

Jackie 17:39

And she said she loves holidays. She's trying to say, I'm having a good time, I'm enjoying the holiday, but I'm just so exhausted. And he doesn't understand. And he's trying to act like, well, I'm working hard too. Right. But she's like, You don't understand this other stuff that's on my plate. You didn't buy the gifts. You're not wrapping them. You're not, you know, decorating the tree. Yes, you do the lights, you know. But the guys, sometimes I feel like the guys like doing the lights. They hang out and the half the neighbors come over and hang out with them.

Jennifer 18:05

Right, have a beer.

Jackie 18:07

So beard and the guys are like, but it's not like us like, oh, but we gotta get this by this date.

Jennifer 18:12

No. They don't that's not the response. They don't have to go buy the lights, pick out the light, make sure all the lights work before they put the lights on. That there's a variable of all the things that need to occur. Someday they go out there. There's a tub that woman had bought the light, made sure they work. They're in a tub.

Jackie 18:27

They're ready for them to When I was single, when I was first single, and I mean, I did all the lights. I mean, I had one time where I fell off a ladder because I was trying to make them perfect for my boys. Right after I left my husband, I didn't have another guy there. I did everything. My brother, of course, offered to help, but I'm like, nope, I'm gonna do this all myself. And so I did all of that on top of everything.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Yeah.

Jackie 18:48

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I should be relieved that I don't do that, but then I still have to go out and critique my husband's technically.

Jennifer 18:56

First of all, you didn't hang those, right?

Jackie 18:57

Like, what is going on over here? And that is not where those icicles go. They go on the other side. Don't you remember the picture from last year? You got photos.

Jennifer 19:06

You've now blown them up to poster size, you're outside. Now they're like big candy canes.

Jackie 19:10

Oh, they're discolored. Well, then we need to go buy some more because they gotta go down the front.

Jennifer 19:15

Now you need to get in the car, drive to the store, get more of those things. I knew where I got them, but Lowe's didn't have them this year. But who's doing the job? Rick's putting out the ones that are discolored, doesn't give a shit. You're like, what? These are not, this is not happening. Here, this is not how we do this. So now you go buy them. Now you gotta pull the old ones out, and now you gotta put the new ones in. Like, again, a new job for you that should have been taken care of by somebody else because you can't let Christmas be anything more than perfect. And I get it. I get it.

Jackie 19:45

I wish I could let it go. I'll probably that's how I'm gonna have my heart attack eventually. Christmas took her out. Christmas. I'm getting set up for Christmas. The whole family, all of a sudden it's all canceled.

Jennifer 19:56

I'm gonna kick this outline and be like, Jackie first told her she always told us it was gonna be during Christmas time.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

She got taken out by the Christmas chair. Yeah, exactly.

Jackie 20:11

And that's sad. The Christmas chair took her out. She couldn't do it all. She finally realized, well, I changed my tree. Well, I was laughing because last year, you know, my husband being sick and stuff, right? I got like in a different mode. And I've always done my Christmas tree all silver. I don't know if you remember that. Always has been super silver, full of silver decorations forever. Like literally silver, everything. And so last year it's like I got in this like, huh? Well, if I want silver anymore. So literally all I have is pine cones and red berries and a a uh wooden star on the top.

Jennifer 20:45

Yeah.

Jackie 20:45

And it was funny because uh someone we know, like go, oh, you change your decorations. I'm like, did you not see my picture last year? Like, this is the second year. I was offended, but I'm like, okay, I know they were going through the same thing with my husband, and that's why I changed everything. So I'm like, I'm going more simple. I was trying to go more simple. Yeah. Because man, that tree tree takes me forever and all the the just the glitter. Put it away, it's a whole other thing. Yeah.

Jennifer 21:14

Well, this year, my I went over to my sister's house. This is a funny story. I went over to my sister's house and she put her tree up really early. And I was like, is that it? Where's the decorations for it? She's like, I'm not doing it. I'm like, oh, okay. She goes, that's it. I plugged it in. I'm like, oh. So I sat there with it for a while and I was like, you know, it's not really that bad. So I came home and I put my tree up and I just plugged the lights in. I'm like, turn them on. I'm like, looks good. Because you know, we got these nice trees now. Jackie maybe get a not make me, but she informed me that I needed a balsam tree, which are very nice trees. I will give her that. That they are they don't smell that great. I know. I have candles. Yeah, but the the tree itself looks very nice. So I plugged my balsam hill tree in and I said, that's it. But eventually I pulled out, I think I put a little A few white angels on it, some wood white angels, and then I put I tied bows on it. I don't know.

Jackie 22:04

Some year I'm just the only time I didn't do decorations is when I had my kids were really young.

Jennifer 22:08

When you didn't want to get them and everything.

Jackie 22:10

It was just like, yeah, because I'm like, I don't want to deal with them pulling them off them, you know, when my boys were a little young. But the grandchildren so far have been good, but I think you're different with your grandchildren. Because your kids you're working and my grandchildren I'm not. So it's just like, oh.

Jennifer 22:23

I mean, baby girl comes in. We have animals, so we have that problem. The cat gets in the tree, the dogs get in. Yeah.

Jackie 22:29

My dog doesn't even care. But my like baby girl came in yesterday, Ellie, after her performance at school, and the first thing she saw, oh she's 18 months old, and I'm like, I forgot you haven't seen my decorations yet.

Jennifer 22:43

Yeah, they you it's good to see that through their eyes again. That's what the joy of Christmas comes back. And I'm that's what I'm excited about with my grandson. Is it's not yet, he's just two months old, but it'll come like next year. Like, oh, what are we gonna? Like, I literally um can't wait for him to because I think I like doing the Christmas thing. I think it like I said, I go full bore, but you make children are yeah, it's simple though with the food. I do, but I still like the Christmas. I like the spirit of Christmas. So I'll be excited to get back into it. But as of your bestie, you know, you can always call, we can always vent, we can always tell each other how, you know, upset or how overwhelmed we are. But you know, it's really it's not a if you're doing that, if you're feeling this and you're listening to this and you realize that's what you do too, that you're superwoman at Christmas time and you're exhausted by it, is that you know, other women have this issue as well. You know, somehow, some way we've got roped into being everything to everybody all the time. And, you know, somehow we have to kind of get through that. But it's always good to call your friend and vent and complain. And it's always a good person to have in your corner because you know, it's hard to call your family and complain about your family. Like, I can't really do that. That's awkward.

Jackie 23:55

Like, well, and who do I call? You guys. Exactly. But I'm still gonna do it. That's what's so funny. It's like I'm still gonna do it no matter what.

Jennifer 24:04

Like I can sit there and complain, but I'm gonna do it. But you're gonna do it. I mean, I'm gonna do it too. I mean, but somehow, somehow, we need to figure out like man's role in this a little more so that he can do of it. So, anyways, you can put the cape down. Santa isn't real, and either is superwoman. So you don't have to be superwoman. You can try to enjoy them a little bit. All right, Jack, let's go into Bestie Rapid Questions. Ready? Okay, what holiday expectation did you inherit from your mother?

Jackie 24:31

That's funny. I'm not trying to be rude.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Expectation did you inherit from your mother? I don't I don't have nothing.

Jennifer 24:43

Nothing? I'm trying to think of something too. I was thinking that maybe a expectation.

Jackie 24:46

I think my family, like, even if we didn't have people there, we were together, we had to be together.

unknown 24:53

Yeah.

Jackie 24:54

So I guess does that make sense?

Jennifer 24:56

I guess my mom's holiday expectation I didn't inherit it from my mother. I inherited it from my grandmother about this, you know, family-oriented holiday where you get together and everybody eats and it's just like a merry time. So I think the expectation that I have really comes from my grandmother more than my mother. Because my grandmother did it and been told my grandmother couldn't, then I did it. So there's really a pass between my mom kind of didn't get in involved in that too much.

Jackie 25:22

So okay, go ahead and see I don't feel like I had to like finish. I don't feel like I had to do that.

Jennifer 25:26

You know what I mean?

Jackie 25:27

You had sounds like you had more of a um where you had it pass on. Yeah. Like because I know we did it with my grandma sometimes, but then we didn't do it all the time. Right. But I did I always enjoyed when we went over there. I got excited.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Right.

Jackie 25:38

But that's the only place I ever remember going besides just staying home for the holiday. Right at home, and that was it.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

Okay, you're next.

Jackie 25:48

Okay. What's one thing you're willing to stop doing this year? Well, Jackie can't ever stop doing anything.

Jennifer 25:55

I'm uh I've kind of taken a scale back on trying to figure out a million gifts to buy my kids. Like I'm now just hoping that I can come up with two or three that are meaningful and then kind of fill in for a few more. I was an overbuyer by large amounts, so I'm releasing myself from having to do that anymore. A few gifts a few gifts is good enough. And did more meaningful gifts, I suppose.

Jackie 26:18

When I was You know what I did stop doing this year, now that you said that. Um I always did this thing for the kids where um like I always did that saran wrap thing. Saran wrap game. Like I did all these extra games for the kids where they won more stuff. Like they got gift cards and made it like like even like bigger from even their Christmas gifts. And so I guess it's gift gifting too. Gift giving also as you're saying.

Song 26:43

Right.

Jackie 26:43

And this was the year that I even told my sister-in-law, I'm not doing all that this year. We're only doing like the cookie decorating for the little kids. We're gonna do our white elephant gift because I already bring something for that. But like literally, I would make these balls that were huge that the kids would do, and me and my sister-in-law would kind of split and just have tons of gift cards in them.

Jennifer 27:01

Right.

Jackie 27:02

And the first year we did it, I was so frustrated because another adult got into it, and I'm like, no, this is for the kids. We can all afford whatever this is extra for the kids.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Right.

Jackie 27:17

So um my mother-in-law would get her husband into or not her boyfriend into do it. And I'm like, and he wouldn't have the gift cards. I'm like, no, you don't need them. I know, right? So it's like the next year I had to be mean, and then I get in trouble like the next year, because I'm like, you can't be in it. It because it's like the year when it was happening, I can't say, Oh, you can't win that. That's right.

Jennifer 27:37

Right. This year, listen, you're out, buddy. Don't even try to get it. Did I just say that? Steve Green crazy moment that you have after everything you've done, and then you get one crazy moment, and they're like, Oh my god, what's wrong with you? And you're like, I've put together everything on the planet for everything that's ever happened today, and all of a sudden I can't have a moment where I'm upset about something and not upset the rest of you. Like, that's the point that I get mad about. I'm like, sit down with people, like you do it.

Jackie 28:04

You do it. You all sit down because I'm about to give you a speech. Could you see because we did that? All of a sudden, none of the kids would come for Christmas.

Jennifer 28:12

Roll out a list, here are the infractions that happened this year, and I would like to go over every one of them.

Jackie 28:16

First of all, then they both they all of our children would tell us, okay, now you're your mother.

SPEAKER_03 28:24

Acknowledge you. All right, anyways.

Jennifer 28:26

So here's the last one. What tradition would you keep if you were truly just up to you? What would be the one thing you would keep if it was just up to you? That you would get rid of all the other stuff, but just keep that. I think playing games and having fun on New Year's Eve Christmas Eve, I'm sorry, is probably my favorite part.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

What is yours? I would say just being together.

Jennifer 28:46

Yeah. That's what I mean. Like the playing games, doing something. You know, that part of it is the most enjoyable. Giving is nice, but that's the part I enjoy most.

Jackie 28:54

Well, like I was talking to you, we're talking about maybe changing our Christmas Eve to the weekend before the Saturday before Christmas, just so we can have all of our kids because everybody's moving other directions with other and they have the other families, etc. And I think it's just getting them together. That's why it's like we're willing to change to a different day and just pretend it's Christmas Eve. And the kids will understand, the little ones will understand, just like our kids with it all been through divorce, they understood that. Yeah. Because I love also I made this new tradition that we have Santa that comes on Christmas Eve.

Jennifer 29:22

Right.

Jackie 29:22

And he just comes in and talks to the kids and they just think it's the best. And my grandbabies talk about it all year long. Grandma, you know Santa. Grandma.

Jennifer 29:31

Well, you know, when they get to kindergarten, it's all gonna go to hell because then kindergarten is when the kid that's parents told him right away that the Santa's not real is gonna tell everybody, and then they're like, it's fake, it's your parents hit it. Jackson so far? He's in kindergarten.

Jackie 29:44

Yep, and nothing's happened.

Jennifer 29:45

So he might be hiding. He's still I've been to homes. I'm gonna be honest with you, I've been to homes and the kids are like 12 or 13 and they're still pretending Santa's real. I'm like, oh my god, are you kidding me with this?

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Like, dear Lord.

Jennifer 29:59

Well, you know why? Because they know they're gonna get bad. Yes, I know. You and the parents like because I don't think I think they still believe I'm like, you are so far out of your brain. Dear Lord, wake up. Anyways, all right. Here we go. If if this episode hit you in the fills or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

Jackie 30:18

Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your writer die.

Jennifer 30:21

And when you're ready to book make your friendship official, book your bestimony at Rhinestone Weddingchapel.com.

Jackie 30:26

Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

Song 31:26

There's not enough words to describe what you made a big enough to dance and like next to me. I'll make you laugh to break. Definition of the eighth. We're writing a story. Every day we'll keep on that word for your battery, that's the dance and make your last trust. That's loyalty. Trust that's loyalty.