Platonic Soulmates Plan Retirement: The Bestie Pact Explained

The Retirement Home Pact: Why Best Friends Plan to Grow Old Together (And Refuse to Drift Apart) 

 It started as a joke… but it turned into a pact. 

In this episode of Slightly Unsupervised, Jennifer and Jackie dive into their very real plan to end up in the same retirement home—and why it’s about so much more than aging, housing, or even logistics. 

Because behind the laughter, the chaos, and the slightly unhinged planning… is something deeper:
 👉 the decision to choose each other for life. 

As women get older, friendships don’t just “stick”—they require intention, effort, and a shared vision for the future. Jennifer and Jackie open up about why they’ve spent years planning their “retirement home era,” how it gives them comfort knowing they won’t grow old alone, and why this kind of friendship bond is rare—but powerful. 

They also get real (and hilarious) about: 

•  What their future living situation might actually look like (retirement home vs. friend compound 👀) 
•  Why women often outlive their partners—and what that means for friendship 
•  The importance of planning emotional support, not just financial retirement 
•  The role each bestie will play (caretaker, troublemaker, organizer… you already know 😂) 
•  Why staying connected long-term doesn’t happen by accident 

And yes… they’ve already trained their kids on what to smuggle in. (You’re welcome.)
 
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about where they end up—
 it’s about who they refuse to lose along the way.
 
If this episode made you laugh, think, or text your best friend… we’ll call that a win. 💛
 
👉 Subscribe, leave a review, and share with your ride-or-die.
 

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This episode of Slightly Unsupervised was brought to you by the creators of Bestiemony®—the original friendship ceremony that proves soulmates don’t always come with a marriage license. Hosted by Jennifer and Jackie: best friends, business partners, and co-founders of the movement celebrating real, ride-or-die love.

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Transcript

Jennifer 0:00

Hey there, I'm Jennifer.

Jackie 0:01

And I'm Jackie.

Jennifer 0:02

And welcome to Slightly Unsupervised. We're best friends, business partners, and the chaos behind festimony, a ceremony we created to celebrate the kind of soulmates who don't come with the marriage license.

Jackie 0:10

This podcast is all about that friendship energy, the deep stuff, the messy stuff, and the laugh to you snort stuff.

Jennifer 0:15

So whether you're driving, folding laundry, or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, you're in good company.

Jackie 0:19

Let's get slightly unsupervised. Today's episode of the Retirement Home Pact. We're planning our future together. Yes, really. Because if we're going down, we're going down together. Okay, I know this is going to sound a little crazy at first, but just stay with me. We have an actual plan, like a real plan, that when we get older, we are all going to the same retirement home or living in a little house around the same area together. And I'm not kidding. Yes. We've talked about it. We've laughed about it. We've planned it. We've probably overplanned it. But here's the thing. It's funny, yes, but it's also kind of serious because what's really what we're really saying when we joke about that is we're not letting life separate us. And the truth is, as you get older, you start realizing something. Friendships don't just last because you love each other, they last because you keep each uh choosing each other. So today we're talking about why we have this ridiculous, hilarious, slightly unhinged retirement home pact and why it actually says everything about what real friendship looks like.

Jennifer 1:19

Yep, we do. It's been talked about for probably the last, yeah, 20 years. We've talked about it, that we are all going. Here's the thing about women women outlast men in general, right?

Jackie 1:32

So we told our men that they're we're definitely outliving them, obviously.

Jennifer 1:37

Yeah, yeah. They don't make it. There's not one of them that makes it to the retirement home with us. But there's this idea that we're all gonna be women in this world and we're all gonna be without husbands at some point. And when we set off, sail off into the sunset, at least we're gonna be all together in this retirement situation. So some some of it call retirement. We don't know what it looks like. We haven't gotten there yet, but whatever it is, we're going there together, right? So nobody gets left behind. So that you have a strong, there's something really like powerful about having that determined already, right? We're not thinking about it. Like the retirement guy was here the last last week, and we were talking about retirement. He's talking about this, he's talking about that, and yeah-da-da. I'm like, hey, yeah, get the house paid off, and then when I get ready to go to retirement home, I can sell that and I can fund my retirement, you know, age of my life. Like he's talking about long term, and I'm like, there's gonna be a plan in there that I gotta go to a retirement home. So this thing's gonna be sold off anyway. So I don't need it forever. I'm gonna need it till he's gone, then I gotta move on with my friends. So it's you know, more serious than that, but it literally came up not last just last week. So it's it's like something that it's very like good to know that you may end up with somebody that you're not gonna be alone. And even though we don't have the exact plan, we don't know how it all rolls out. Isn't it nice, Jack, just to have that kind of in the back of your head, like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be with my friends when I get older. Like that's happening.

Jackie 3:02

Like I have no plans to remarry if he goes.

Jennifer 3:05

Right. Yeah.

Jackie 3:06

Or later. That's not my plan. My plan is to just wait it out and we will all be in retirement homes. Or like we've said, buy a property and build little houses. You see it. Friends do it all the time now. Yeah. It's a thing now.

Jennifer 3:19

Yeah. And it wasn't a thing when we started talking about it, to be honest with you. It it's something like we started talking about and we've shared our idea with many people. And I don't know why all of a sudden it seems to be a thing, but you know, they buy a big house and they have their own rooms and they're live in the central place together. They go into retirement, oh, which is kind of fun too, because you have your own apartment, but then you're together in the same place.

Jackie 3:39

I like that idea too. Or I like the little houses, like if you have a property and you just have little houses. I saw one just recently um where a bunch of families did that and they showed the little house and someone builder did all their little houses and made it where, you know, and then you have like a central location that you can all like a little park area like in the middle, which was really cool. It was really cool.

Jennifer 3:59

I think for us, yeah. I think for us that even the retirement home sounds okay because then we're with a bunch of other people, right? In the same boat, basically. That we're like all getting together and we're going down to play bingo and we can race hell and we can, you know, we have these. Remember those little carts we were all gonna buy that go like hundred miles an hour?

Jackie 4:17

We're all getting one. I know, but I'm I'm afraid eventually we'll be kicked out of the home. So I'm thinking, why don't we just do the next step and just get a place?

Jennifer 4:28

True. And choices.

Jackie 4:32

The chances of us getting kicked out for some, you know, misbehaving are pretty strong and they all the fact that because our children we've already told them the only way they can visit us is to bring us our supplies that they won't give us in the retirement home. And they all know if you ask them what they're supposed to bring us, they know all the things that they're supposed to bring us already. We've already been training them.

Jennifer 4:53

We have tried this has been starting, like I said, like 20 years ago.

Jackie 4:56

When they were in high school, we've been telling them since they were younger. Like you ask our children what they're supposed to bring us in the retirement home, they can tell you.

Jennifer 5:04

They verbally they were like, what are you bringing us? And they're like, they go through the little list of like I gotta bring this, this, this.

Jackie 5:09

And then I need to bring beer for your friends, I need to bring you wine, I need sugar, salt, all the things they cut us off on.

Jennifer 5:19

I learned that when I when my grandmother was in a retirement home. I would like call her. I was like her dealer. I'm like, okay, grandma, I'm coming in, what do you need? And I'm at Trader Dose. She gave me a list of things and I'd smuggle them in her. And uh, I got in trouble for my uncle. He's like, I can't believe you're bringing her sugar. She's not supposed to have sugar, and I'm like, why not? She's 90 years old.

Jackie 5:39

Like, just let her have it.

Jennifer 5:41

Why are we cutting off the Milky Ways? Like, that's what she's been eating her entire life, and that's what makes her happy. And I'm bringing her a bag of you know, Milky Waste. That's which my grandma wants, and he always gets mad at me, and I'm like, what are we preserving her for? Like, you know what I mean? Like a long life? Like, we're there, like she's there. Like, I don't know why you're cutting her off from like like my grandmother ate popcorn with butter just poured all over it, like hot butter and salt, and she ate that thing. In fact, she ate so much popcorn her doctor let feel around in her stomach at her like at her um checkups. He'd be like, Do you eat a lot of popcorn? So I was the smuggler for my grandmother, which is why I have tr specifically told them what to bring us because I already know we're getting cut off. And the other thing that we have said to them, so there's five of us, right? So we all make it in there, we have kids, right? How many kids are we at? Like nine. I think between all of us, we have nine kids, right? Nine or ten. Uh nine. Nine. So we have nine kids. So I'm like, listen, y'all gotta come every nine weeks, one of you. So they're all gonna get married or whatever. So like yourself.

Jackie 6:54

Grandkids growing up too. By the time we get in, we might have the grandkids train too.

Jennifer 6:58

They might not have to come every nine weeks, but I'm like, once a week, you all need to come and take us out to eat. Like, we're gonna want to go eat something besides retirement food. So you don't have to come every week because there's a nine-week, everybody's got a week. You gotta, and you gotta take all of us. You can't just take one of us. Like, we're all going.

Jackie 7:17

By the way, bring the van. We're gonna buy you guys a van that you have to bring. Let's just have a van.

Jennifer 7:23

We should have the van in the parking lot. Be like, let's get in our van. Like, we'll just get the van. We don't have to worry about it.

Jackie 7:29

We'll we'll pay for the tags, we'll pay for it each year. We'll pay for the mobile car wash to come so it's clean when they come to take us.

Jennifer 7:35

Exactly. We might even take our friends out. We might have friends in there be like, we're spuggling you out, man. You need to go have something to eat besides this nasty, saltless food. Like, we might be, you know, a savior. This might be why we get kicked out as well. So you never know.

Jackie 7:50

We're gonna get kicked out. We're gonna definitely get kicked out.

Jennifer 7:53

We're definitely driving the van to the liquor store. I know for sure we're doing that. But that's coming, we're bringing the liquor back with us. That for sure is happening. So, but anyways, that is they know what to bring. They know that we, you know, we're gonna have issues in there. So whether it's our own little compound or whether it's a retirement home. I like the retirement home a little bit more too, because then if we need care, somebody can come in and take care of us, like a nurse or something, so that it's there, I guess. But you might have to move retirement homes. I saw my grandmother have to do that. She got too sick for one, she had to move to another one. If that happens, and if that happens, Jack, we all have to go. One goes, we all gotta go to the next one, right?

Jackie 8:32

Well, see, but you can always uh hire nurses to come in too.

Jennifer 8:35

Yeah. That's what I was saying. Like that would be nice to make sure that we have somebody taking care of us. So we've got a few little details to work out, y'all, but we're working on it and we talk about it. So yeah, the future for us is together, to stay together, and we're gonna be in each other's life no matter what. And we have a lot of plans for the retirement home. And if you haven't made this pack with your friends, suggest you do so because not only is it peaceful to know that you're going somewhere, but it's so fun to plan it, right, Jack? Like how many fun conversations do we have with our friends or whatever about what's gonna happen when we get there? Like there's the getting there, and then there's the thinking about getting there, and then there's the plan of it. Like, we have a lot of fun even just making the plan to go and all the things we're gonna do. So it's super important to have something like this, I feel like, so that you are very aware of what's happening, especially when the kids are younger, so they understand what's happening too. And it just gives you comfort. I mean, I don't know what else to say about that. It's it's a bond, it's a strong it keeps your bond together too. I mean, that's another thing, don't you think it helps us stay bonded in the idea that one day we're all going to the same retirement home?

Jackie 9:46

Definitely.

Jennifer 9:48

And it, you know, it really opens up the idea about how that's gonna look. And we don't we're not too serious about it right now because we're still pretty young in terms of old people. We're the young old people, but it's like time's flying though.

Jackie 10:02

Gosh, I swear it. This year I can't believe it's already April.

Jennifer 10:06

I know. I can't believe we're 56. Do you remember when we turned 50 and thinking, man, we're getting old and like we're 56 and 10. We're already 56.

Jackie 10:15

Yeah. That's why we gotta start planning this stuff. Jesus.

Jennifer 10:19

It goes faster than you think, y'all, especially when you get older. I don't know. Maybe it's slower when you're done. All right, Jackie, let's go through the best of rapid questions. You go first.

Jackie 10:27

Okay. Let's see. What role are you playing in the retirement troublemaker, caretaker, organizer, etc.? Well, I know I'm gonna be, you guys have already said caretaker, because I like to take care of people. And I'll be an organizer also.

Jennifer 10:40

Yes, you will.

Jackie 10:41

Memories, because uh, you guys have all said I'll be the memory, the birthday person, etc.

Jennifer 10:46

Jackie does that role now, for sure. We just had it, we just had this conversation about caretaking because one of us needed care. No, I was talking about that. My husband needed caretaking, and I what did I say? I was like, look, y'all, it's not done with it.

Jackie 11:03

It's like one day into it. He was she was one of the day into him coming home from the hospital.

Jennifer 11:07

I'm all it's not my forte, not something I'm good at. Somebody else gonna have to handle that. So it also, we also discovered that not only am I not good at it, we have two others that have joined my side of the thing. We're like, we're not caretakers, don't rely on us for that. So Jackie's.

Jackie 11:21

And there's two of us are two of you are.

Jennifer 11:23

So Jackie's like, I like it, it's good for me, which was hilarious, y'all, because she's like, I like it, I can be a caretaker. What I don't like is to be fussed over or people to take care of me. And I'm like, perfect, this works great. We're not gonna take care of you. You're gonna take care of us. So it was the perfect combination. I'm like, oh my God, you don't like it? This is great, because we didn't do it anyway. So we have another friend. One of our other friends, just like, oh, I'll help her. I I'm good at it too. We're like, whew, Jackie has a big lean in. Okay, so my role would definitely be a troublemaker. Troublemaker, yeah. I'll probably get all riled up about politics in there or something. Like, we're not putting up with this. And um, I think too, like, from my standpoint, like, I'd be good at also, you know, making sure the children know all the rules, right?

Jackie 12:12

So like I'll be like You'll be the bossy one telling us what to do.

Jennifer 12:16

Like, uh, you're 10 minutes late and we're having a, you know, we're supposed to be at the red robin, you know, like or that that's not how we play, that's not how you play bingo.

Jackie 12:24

That's wrong. Exactly. How boring is this? Let's do shots.

Jennifer 12:28

If you get your number gets called, you gotta do a shot. Like, you know, we'll figure it out. But you know, it's gonna be, I'm definitely not gonna be in the caretaking role for sure. I'll probably be more interested in troublemaking and maybe like the financial side of it. Like, what are we paying here? Yeah, what is negotiate our rate every year? Be like, yeah, we don't even use that stuff. We're not paying for that. You know what I mean? Like, I'd be good at that. So I'll take that on. All right, Jack. What's one thing we'll definitely still be doing together at 80?

Jackie 12:55

Relaxing and reminiscing.

Jennifer 12:57

Yes.

Jackie 12:58

Storytelling, reminiscing, yeah.

Jennifer 13:02

Yeah, like still like up for an adventure. Someone's gonna be doing something. Do you see this? I see this totally. Like, let's imagine we're in the retirement home and we all have our own apartments because that's how it works, right? You get your own apartment. We do have to have separate spaces so we could go be by ourselves for a while, so we could decompress. But I can totally see like something goes on down the hallway, right? Not in our rooms, but we're up at the top and like farther down the hallway, something's going on. There's a conflict or something going on. Don't you see the five of us opening our door open and looking out and then walking down there to like see what is going on down the hallway? Yeah.

Jackie 13:39

I was in a position recently where I was somewhere and things would happen. I kept looking out the door. I'm like, what's going on out there? And then I was like scared at some points where I'm like, how do I make this door not open up?

Jennifer 13:52

I know, right? But I can totally see us like either not going out there, but like literally like even closing the doors, like you like ladies, get inside. Like this has nothing to do with it, and calling each other and like looking, still looking, like, okay, go look, look, and see what's going on. Like, we would totally do that. So we're gonna be those people. Wherever we're gonna be, I suggest you come because it's gonna be fun. All right, Jack, you next.

Jackie 14:14

Who's most likely to get us kicked out first? You yes, it's definitely not you'll be too vocal. You'll like it'll be something you'll yes, you'll be too vocal. Not like a fight, it'll just be a vocal type thing where you're arguing or something about something like like maybe political.

Jennifer 14:33

Maybe maybe political. Maybe I'm standing by grass.

Jackie 14:36

Or like they're saying we're paying for something that and you're like, no, we're not. We're not supposed to pay for that. I could just see you.

Jennifer 14:41

Just like get my contract out. Listen here, line five, seven.

Jackie 14:46

Or they come in and find something that we got from the kids, and you're like, that's mine, you can't take Contraband.

Jennifer 14:52

You mean they might take our contraband. Yeah. I don't know. You're right. Maybe I would be the one. I definitely don't think the other three are on that list, that's for sure. Maybe not.

Jackie 15:01

No, definitely not.

Jennifer 15:02

No, they'd be not.

Jackie 15:04

I think I'm setting I'm more kicked back these days. If this would have been back when we were younger, it would have been me.

Jennifer 15:10

But now it's all that sometimes, so you might you don't count yourself out completely on that one. I don't know. I would be the one though. You're right. Okay, you're in it, yeah.

Jackie 15:20

What's one thing you're actually serious about when it comes to growing old together? Staying together. I said not drifting apart and being there for each other no matter what.

Jennifer 15:29

Yeah. Like staying together, like staying in a tight friendship and just like support system, like for sure. That would be what I would say. Okay, Jack, if you if life tried to pull us apart again, what would we do differently now? I don't think it would be.

Jackie 15:44

And push through it and not let it happen.

Jennifer 15:46

Talk about it.

Jackie 15:47

Like I definitely think that we would be more admitting it, I think, is talking about it, don't you think?

Jennifer 15:53

Yeah. I'm going like putting it out there. Yeah. Actively fix it now. Like before we just kind of let it fizzle, but now we'd be more active about fixing something. Like you don't want to give that up. Like now we know what is not to live with it and what's to live with it. So it's like we're gonna fix this now. So I agree with you. Okay, what does it mean to know you won't grow old alone?

Jackie 16:13

That's the everything and a sense of calm.

Jennifer 16:16

Yeah. Like we said, it's it's a gift to have that that sort of in the back of your mind, like we're not gonna be alone, so we can live our life pretty like I said, I just went through a retirement chat. Like, like he's got plans for me. Like when you get old, you'll be able to stay here forever. I'm not staying here forever. Like, that's not the plan. The plan is I'm on my way to wherever I'm going. So it's nice to have money for that, but just sitting in my house when I'm old does not sound even healing.

Jackie 16:44

It's like my grandma watching my hundred-year-old grandma. That's what she does. She does and she didn't want to go. We try to get her to go into a retirement home or at least stay with my aunts, you know, like four months out of the year, each aunt. And she wouldn't do it. And she's just so lonely, but she's so stubborn. I know. And she just sits in that house by herself. Every I mean, she has nurses that come in, you know, and and people to feed her and all that. But otherwise, she's lonely, just so lonely.

Jennifer 17:08

I know.

Jackie 17:08

But she's so stubborn. And she never made friends either. She comes from an era where they didn't really make a lot of friends, you know what I mean? Yeah. They were all about their families and their their husbands and all that. And yeah. Actually, I'll go see her in a couple weeks because she turns 100.

Jennifer 17:24

Oh my gosh.

Jackie 17:25

So we're all taking our time. She doesn't want everybody, she was on some party or anything, so we're all going a different time and to go see her. Yeah. So yeah, I've just seen her being lonely.

Jennifer 17:34

I don't see that. Like, I think if something happened to either one of our spouses at some point and we're by ourselves, like, I think we and that happens before the others are whatever, like that. I would be like, well, then we'll I'll move over there, or you'll move over. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, just to stay together. Like, we don't need to be by ourselves. We're just two people supporting an entire household of two different places when we don't and we're by ourselves. Like, why would we do that? To me, it'd be like, I'll just move in with you for a while and then we'll wait for the others to happen. You know what I mean? Like, I see that happening for sure. Like, there's no point of having this life of I've made it so far by myself and I'm all alone now. Like, it just maybe that's just a general generational thing because that is the thing you want to feel like. Yeah.

Jackie 18:16

No, not at all.

Jennifer 18:17

Together sounds way funner. All right, Jack, you're the last one.

Jackie 18:21

What's one memory we've already made that proves we'll make it to that retirement home together? Sticking together and keeping it going every year.

Jennifer 18:29

Yeah, for sure. We actively keep our friendships alive, like with effort. It wasn't it's not like uh silence and we find somebody, like everybody actively participates in friendship. And so it it just proves that we're going to continue on this pathway of staying together. I don't I don't question it, do you, Jack? I mean not at all. Not even with the other ones. Like nope. Everybody talks about it. Everybody knows, so we're good. All right. We joke about we joke about ending up at the same retirement, but we're really sharing what we're really saying is we're not leaving each other behind, right? That's it. Yep. That's what it says. All right. If this episode hit you in the fields or made you laugh way too hard, we consider that a win.

Jackie 19:12

Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your ride or die.

Jennifer 19:16

And when you're ready to make your friendship official, book your bestimony at rhinstowningchapel.com.

Jackie 19:20

Because the best love stories don't always come with a ring.

Song 19:36

We stick together at our die to the moon, and no amount of space could ever come between us two. The reuniting's like we've never been apart, and every single time we're out of iron heart to heart. We've been a big enough big enough bite. Loyalty. You and me love trust. That says loyalty. You and me.