Working With Your Mind Instead of Against It: Supporting ADHD, Giftedness & the Highly Active Mind

After the last two episodes in this ADHD series, many women may find themselves asking some version of the same question:

“Okay… now what?”

If you’ve started recognizing patterns in yourself—whether related to ADHD, giftedness, executive functioning struggles, or simply having a highly active mind—this episode is about what genuinely helps.

Rather than focusing primarily on labels, I explore the kinds of supports that can help highly active, highly sensitive, and cognitively intense minds function more effectively and feel more grounded in everyday life.

Drawing from both research and lived experience, I discuss:

•  Why so many women feel exhausted from trying to function in systems that don’t align with how their brains actually work 
•  The role of stabilizing biology in attention, emotional regulation, and executive functioning 
•  Why environment matters more than most people realize—and how to reduce “friction” in daily life 
•  Why interest, meaning, and stimulation are deeply connected to focus and motivation 
•  The emotional toll of believing something is wrong with you 
•  How chronic stress worsens executive functioning—and why self-criticism is not an effective strategy for sustainable change 

This episode is not about becoming someone else.

It’s about understanding yourself more accurately so you can begin building a life that genuinely supports how you think, feel, and function.

Because the more accurately you understand yourself, the more wisely you can support yourself.

🎧 If you haven’t listened yet, you may want to start with:

• Why So Many Smart Women Are Only Now Realizing They Have ADHD
• ADHD, Giftedness, or Both? How to Tell What You’re Actually Experiencing

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• This Is Your Brain on Food by Dr. Uma Naidoo — on the connection between nutrition, mood, attention, and mental health

RESOURCES & LINKS

• Take the quiz: Are You a Gifted Woman?
• Sign up to receive my Sanctuary Letters
• Book a complimentary Flourishing Call if you're curious about working together
• Follow me on Instagram: @dr.andrealein
• Learn more: andrealein.com

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

If this episode resonates, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future conversations — and share it with a friend who’s ready to flourish. 🌿

And if you're feeling extra generous, leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach the women who will benefit from these insights. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to the podcast. If you have been listening in the last few episodes, you know we are in the middle of a series on ADHD, ADHD in women, and specifically, what is the difference between ADHD giftedness and what happens when they overlap? That was the last two episodes. So if you haven't listened to those, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to those first. So I've gone through a lot of information up to this point. And many of you are listening and then you're asking, probably some version of, okay, now what? So I see some of the patterns. Maybe I'm curious, maybe I'm even curious enough that I want to get a professional evaluation. But even if you're not and you're just seeing that, you know, some of these traits I do have, whether we call it ADHD or whether we call it giftedness, or maybe there's some sort of overlap, I want to know what do I do now? And what I want to focus on today is less about the label. Although the labels can be helpful, like I said in previous episodes, the label can be helpful if you use it to increase your understanding of yourself and to help bring in the supports and strategies that just help you in the normal everyday life. It is limiting if you start limiting yourself. So I don't always like to focus on the labels, but I know that for many of us, especially if this is not the world that we swim in, it's helpful to have this kind of detailed understanding of what we're talking about. So today we're going to talk about the kinds of things that can support this highly active mind that you have, whether you identify with ADHD, giftedness, executive functioning struggles, or simply you're just identifying with the fact that I have a very active mind, there are things that genuinely help. Welcome to the Power to Flourish podcast, where science meets the art of a beautiful life. I'm Dr. Andrea Lyme, positive psychologist, giftedist expert and coach, and modern-day spiritual godmother to brilliant, deep-feeling women. This isn't just another self-help podcast. It's a sanctuary, a sacred space to come back to yourself. Each week we'll explore the emotional experience of gifted, sensitive women and what it means to live a life that feels as beautiful as it may look. Because flourishing isn't a luxury. It's your birthday, and your life is waiting. This is the Power to Flourish podcast. So I want to give you some key ideas as we approach this. I am not going to go over an exhaustive list. This is actually going to be a relatively brief episode, and there are so many books and resources. I would be a little careful about what you might be picking up on social media, depending on who it's coming from, but there are so many resources out there. And I'm going to be giving you some fairly high-level principles. And the first one is this: stop working against yourself. Most women I know who have struggled in this area are trying to force themselves into systems and a way of being that they just don't fit how they function. And that is where it gets really frustrating. And you may say, well, I really don't have a choice. I live in this world, I live in this Western world, it's 2026. I have all of these expectations. And this is what people expect me being able to do, which I totally get. I live in that same world. But I want to remind you that if you're feeling or if you have felt in the past that you're failing, that you aren't as good as other people, or you're never going to be able to do the things that other people can do because of the way your brain works. One, I want you to know that you are not lazy. I think that is oftentimes a sneaky little lie that gets in our head because we we look at the difference between what appears as high, high potential, and then the output doesn't seem to match, which is very common in this combination of things. And so we internalize this idea that perhaps our parents or teachers or other adults or peers growing up gave to us, or maybe we just came up with this idea that we must just be lazy. I find that our brains often are exhausted. Your brain may be exhausted from trying to function in ways that don't align with how your brain actually works, right? That image that I gave in a previous episode of someone swimming and they might look like they have it all together on the surface, but underneath they're they're paddling ever so quickly, trying to just keep up and they're getting exhausted. Part of this is because we don't understand really how our brains are wired so, so beautifully. So beautifully. I want you to really get that. If you don't believe that about your brain, I want you to believe this at some point. If you get anything out of these episodes, I want you to know that there is nothing broken or wrong about you. You have been created in this amazing way. And yes, we are asked to function in a world that has certain kinds of expectations, and we can often feel like we're falling short. So just keep in mind that your brain needs different kinds of support than perhaps the people around you or the people that were around you growing up. And so don't internalize that as a negative thing about you. Just realize it's just different. And again, this could be because you are highly gifted and you have a very active mind. This could be because you have an official diagnosis of ADHD or some other diagnosis. And I really do feel like sometimes those diagnoses can help pave the way for really important kinds of support and treatment. And that is wonderful and so important. And sometimes, if we're not careful, it also paves the way for this kind of thinking about ourselves that there's there's something fundamentally broken about us. I mean, even the idea of a quote unquote diagnosis, right? Like it is a quote unquote disorder. It's out of order. Um, all of the language around it for me is complicated, which is why I I don't really go around in my life. I can't, I can joke about it, about having ADHD, but I don't identify as that really. That's not how I feel in my everyday of the world. It's something, it's just like anything else about me. I have brown hair, I have brown eyes, you know, I'm five, six, and my brain works a certain way. That's it. It's just a descriptor. The second concept that I want you to consider, perhaps do a deep dive if you're interested, because again, I'm not going to go into everything here, is the very real factor of biology. And by this, I don't mean let's keep it to taking a stimulant, whether it's caffeine or Ritalin. I'm talking about basic biological support. And let me be clear, I am not a nutritionist, I am not a psychiatrist. So this is not uh this is not a prescription for you. This is just an overview of some of the research. And I encourage you again, whether you want to talk with your doctor about this or get some books on this. There are some great resources out there, and I will probably add a few links to a couple in the show notes so you can check that out. But the first one to keep in mind is our blood sugar and protein. So we know that blood sugar instability impacts things like attention and mood and cognitive regulation and emotion regulation. And we also know that protein supports dopamine production, which is heavily involved in attention, motivation, and executive functioning. So, what does this mean? Without getting into all the nitty-gritty sides, what is the takeaway here for you? Something to consider when you're first starting off your day, and especially for kids. And I can say this is something that I, you know, growing up in the 80s and 90s, we grow up in like bagels for breakfast and, you know, muffins. I guess probably like a lot of Americans do. But the takeaway here is we want to front-load a protein-rich breakfast. When you do this, you will probably notice that your attention and your motivation and just your the way your brain is working does better than if you, you know, pile up on just something carby. We also want to ensure that we're having stable meals. Now, people who struggle with ADHD actually have a hard time with doing this. I am one of those people. My husband's always teasing me about how I quote unquote forget to eat lunch or any kind of meal actually, because we can get hyper-focused on certain things. And it's like uh, you know, we just, it's like we lose track of it. At least that's what happens for me. But it's really important to come up with systems or maybe a loving spouse to help you make sure you are having stable meals. This is gonna help your brain function at its optimal setting. And even though I have said I I definitely have self-medicated with caffeine over the course of my lifetime because I've I've never taken stimulant medication for the way my brain works. That's just was my choice. But caffeine is helpful. It definitely does help with attention. I mean, again, for anybody, right? You don't have to have ADHD to know that, but we don't want to be running a caffeine alone. So you can't expect stable focus from a physiologically dysregulated system. Okay. You've got to make sure that on a very foundational biological standpoint, you are giving your brain what it needs. And again, there are lots of books that go into different nutrition and things. Um, Dr. Naidu is an amazing voice right now on the scene. She has many, many books. She's a nutritional psychiatrist. I've referenced her before. So I will include a link to one or two of her books. I highly recommend that you check some of that out. Okay, the second thing, biologically, is we need sleep. I know you know this, but the fact of the matter is, is that the majority of Americans are sleep deprived. We know that sleep deprivation, and when I say sleep deprivation, I don't just mean, oh, you're getting two or three hours of sleep. If you're supposed to be getting, and I'm I say supposed to, meaning what your body needs is eight to nine hours of sleep. I'm definitely a nine hour gal. If your body needs that and you're consistently hovering around six to seven hours, which seems like, okay, that's a pretty good amount of sleep. That's sleep deprivation for your body and for your brain. So do not be misled. You have to give your body, your unique body, what it needs. Some people, they do well on six hours. And I don't mean like, oh, I can get away with six hours. I mean if you didn't set alarm clock, you would consistently just your body pops up right at six hours. For me, I know this for a fact my whole life. I almost immediately, exactly at the nine hour point, if there is no alarm set, my body naturally wakes up. Nine hours. I wish, I wish it could be six, but it's it's nine. So you need to know what your body is and make sure you are giving it relatively consistently the sleep that it needs. Because if you don't, your attention, your working memory, your emotional regulation, and impulsivity, all of those things, not to mention lots of other cognitive functioning, worsens. And this is particularly true. We know from really strong evidence in ADHD population. So if you do know you have ADHD, or you're you're pretty sure you do, it's really, really, really important to prioritize your sleep. And I know this for myself and for a lot of women I know. We just normalize exhaustion. Like we just, it's like we're just going through the world like this is just what it is. Of course, if you've got little babies at, you know, at home and and you're waking up through the night, um, definitely the case. And there are seasons where it is just what it is. But but the principle here, you get with the principle, you want to get sleep. It's not a luxury for cognitive regulation. It's not a luxury. It is truly foundational. Okay, the third point. None of this is rocket science. None of this is like stuff you've never heard before, but I want to bring it into why it's important if you have a highly active brain, and that is movement and exercise. I'm telling you, if if there's one thing, I mean, gosh, it's hard because sleep is so important and nutrition. But for me, I know that when I move first thing in the day, it doesn't matter if it's just a brisk walk or if it's like a more intensive workout. I like a more intensive workout earlier in the day. Uh, it's interesting. I am not someone who does well. I mean, I'll do it in the afternoon or evening if I have to, but I find that when I do it early in the day, my attention level, everything is just so much better. Emotionally, I feel better. Everything works better when I prioritize the exercise. We know that exercise supports dopamine. Again, very important with it in attention and motivation, executive functioning, emotional regulation, and working memory. And even like I said, short movement helps. So if you wake up in the morning, you're like, I don't have time for an hour workout. Okay, go out and see if you can do like 10 to 15 minute brisk walk before you start your day. Every little bit helps. Walking is great. Um, taking movement breaks throughout the day. So even if you get that hour, you know, exercise in in the morning, it's not great to be, I'm preaching to myself. It's not great to then be, you know, sitting at your desk without any movement breaks through the rest of the day. You know, this is what breaks my heart for little kids who are expected to just sit in their chairs all day, especially kids who struggle with these kinds of things because their bodies literally need to move. Their brains will function better when they get that movement. So just keep that in mind. It exercise doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't have to be about, you know, you're building big muscle, though if you want to do that, that is great. We're just talking about the kind of movement that is gonna help your brain function again at the optimal state. So do not minimize the importance of doing this regularly. I really can tell a difference when I'm not doing this regularly. It's like my whole system shuts down. I think back on the days and years where I wasn't exercising regularly. I don't even know how I was functioning, honestly. Okay, the third area I want to talk about is environment, your environment and executive functioning. And I believe that our environment matters way more than a lot of people realize. Some of you may know this, but I am a huge proponent. I always have in my own life, given just I just sort of became more aware of what I needed growing up. Um, and again, so this is where I've like intuitively created what I what I need in my life, because this is how my brain works, even if it my it doesn't make sense to my husband, or if it doesn't make sense to anyone else, like this is how my brain works. So we want to reduce friction. What does that mean? Here are some examples. Visual clutter. Too many decisions. Too many decisions. Our environments can make it so that there are too many decisions. Overwhelming environments, whether it's overwhelming visually, auditorily, you know, you name it, right? Like that kind of I for me, that's like walking into Costco. Walking into Costco for me is an overwhelming environment because there's so much to see. There's, you know, background noise, you don't even realize it, but all of that is like going on in your brain. We want to reduce that friction. Executive functioning struggles often worsen when there's just too much friction in the environment. So rather than beat yourself up for having struggles in that area, work backwards, like reverse engineer. Look around you. Start wherever, you know, it makes most sense for you. Don't try to tackle everything at once. But maybe it's your, where do you spend the most time? Is it your office? Is it the kitchen? You know, is it at your home? Maybe it's maybe you go to work and it's your office, you know, away from home. What wherever it is, look around. Where is the environment? And again, don't just think about what you see, although everything from lighting to texture, like there's so many things. I can't go into all, but again, so many ways our environment can help us or hinder us. The other thing we can do in terms of the environment is to externalize structure. This is really, really huge. And I wish this, honestly, I wish this wasn't true. And I have fought it my whole life because I like to have certain things like my counters and, you know, certain areas, I like to have them clean and clear. So this is where, you know, it can get a lot of like, well, we we want our environment to not feel cluttered. But then at the same time, we need to externalize structures. So some of these things may be like visual reminders. So for example, if you have a hard time, like I do, taking your morning supplements or your vitamins or whatever you do, right? If they're in the cabinet, which mine are oftentimes, I don't always remember. It sounds so silly. It sounds so, so silly. So whether that means putting out a little, pretty little spot on your counter where the supplements live or some other visual reminder, like a note, you know, lots of written lists, timers. These are all different ways that we can externalize structure. And there are so many cool gadgets and, you know, technology that these days that again help adults, help kids that struggle. Um, it's amazing what we have in 2026 versus, you know, even 10 years ago. So the the important part I want you to take away from this is we can do all these things. And I want you to once again hear that needing that external structure is not a failure on your part. I think sometimes we look around at other people and they don't need all these lists and they don't need all the visual reminders and they somehow just remember the date that's on the calendar in their head. Like my husband can do this. And I'm like, if if I don't look at the calendar, if I don't have it in my calendar, it's like it doesn't exist. And and when I explain that to him, he doesn't really understand it because his brain works differently than mine. But I it's just true. It's just true. I don't, I'm not uh like less of a person because I need to actually look at the calendar. That's just that's a structure I put in place to help me function in this world. So it's just your support. You're not a failure. Let's move on. Okay, finally, point three interest and stimulation really, really matter, right? Again, whether it's for a gifted mind or an ADHD brain, it doesn't really matter what we call it. We need interest, we need to feel challenged, and we need to be emotionally engaged. And so we need to figure out if we're having a hard time or one of our kids is having a hard time, what can we do to up the interest or the stimulation factor in it, right? Because attention is deeply connected to meaning and stimulation. So I won't go into more on that because I'm trying to keep this episode brief and succinct for you, but that is an area that we um sometimes forget to look at. Okay, and the last point I want to make is around emotional regulation and shame. And we've talked about this a lot on other podcasts, just emotional regulation and shame as concepts, but I think the emotional layer of all of this is oftentimes more painful than the attention issues themselves. I don't know if you can relate to that. I don't know if you find that to be true. Again, there's a lot of feeling like shame around these things, especially if we don't understand it or no one really explained it to us. And we've lived our whole lives feeling different or feeling like we can't really keep up or feeling like we need like a million sticky notes to keep track of things, right? There's a shame around that. There's the shame around um, or or just feeling bad about ourselves, like around inconsistency, not being able to follow through, um, starting things and not finishing them. I've I have struggled with that so much. Having an idea and then and then struggling to initiate the task, right? This is very, very, very related to the executive functioning and um those issues. So the the the emotional piece around this, like all the self-criticism, all the thoughts around, you know, what we believed our potential to be. And then especially if we're adults, like older adults, we look at our lives and we're like, oh my gosh, you know, there's like that trending hashtag, you know, like gifted kid, you know, burnout, dropout, like all these things, right? It's like this idea of like, oh, they told us we have this potential when we're younger and we're so smart, but now look at us, right? This is the emotional layer. This is the very important emotional layer, this feeling like we haven't lived up or we're feeling behind, or we're just feeling so different. And if we're not careful, those things erode our sense of self, our self-image. And so we're not now just struggling with focus or attention or keeping track of things, which is in and of itself enough to struggle with. Now, on top of that, we've layered on struggling with years of believing something is wrong with us. And that is really, really a hard place to live and be. And that is the kind of work that we have to just be so intentional. About counteracting because if we're stressed, if we're if we're living in shame, and if we then are feeling stressed about the way we are, that actually worsens all the issues. It worsens our executive functioning. Chronic stress impacts our working memory and our attention and our emotion regulation. So it's like this horrible cycle that feels like it, you know, will never end. So just keep in mind, you cannot shame yourself into sustainable functioning, nor nor should you, right? You can't, it's not effective. And I really hope for you that that's not the path you you try to take moving forward. It's there's a better way. So, in closing for today, on this little quick, you can tell I'm I'm I'm going through it today. The goal, my friend, isn't to become someone else. It's not to try to be like your friend who somehow just can, you know, remember all the things, remembers everyone's birthdays. She just like has it all together in her head, or your spouse, maybe. It's not to try to be someone else. It is to understand who you are, how you've been created, what allows you to function well. Maybe, you know, you figure out like, oh, I eat this in the morning, I feel really good. Like all of this takes a little experimentation too, because every everyone is different. Our brains are different, they're unique. So you've got to experiment. Like, again, for me, I find if I do a certain kind of exercise first thing in the morning before I get to the office and sit down at my desk, it's so much better. You know, I know if I eat a certain way, I feel so much better. You've got to figure out what works for you to function well, to feel grounded, and to stay connected to yourself. These these are the very important things. So just as a quick recap, the first point was to stop working against yourself. The second point under the biological supports was to focus and make sure you're looking at your blood sugar and protein and how that is functioning. Don't forget about your sleep. You've got to get enough sleep and really don't shortchange yourself on that. And then getting in the movement, um, not just once a day, but like through throughout the day, looking at your environment. So we're reducing friction, we're externalizing the structure, and then we're making sure we've got enough interest and stimulation. At least, you know, maybe it's not all the time, but in the areas that are really important. And then lastly, we are looking at the role of shame and emotional regulation, which often goes along with some of these attention issues, which we can have a whole other podcast just on that. But I want you to feel again like there are ways to be. There are ways to be in the world. Um, I really do believe that some of the greatest inventions and explorations and uh, you know, the the things that have changed our world and changed gen, you know, things for generations have come from people with highly active minds, whether you want to label them ADHD or not, these are people who change the world. You are a person who can change the world, and there's nothing wrong with you. So, final takeaway. The more accurately you understand yourself, the more wisely you can build a life that actually supports you. I hope this was helpful. Take care, my friend. Have a wonderful week, and I will see you right back here next week on the Power to Flourish. And until then, keep flourishing. Thank you for listening to the Power to Flourish podcast. I hope today's conversation left you feeling more seen, more supported, and more deeply connected to yourself. And if this episode resonated, would you take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with a friend? It's one of the best ways to help this work reach the women who need it most. You'll find show notes, links, and resources from today's episode at powertoflourish.com. And now just a quick reminder: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It's not therapy, medical advice, or a substitute for professional support. Listening doesn't make me your therapist or doctor, though if you're looking for a coach, you know where to find me. All right, beautiful one. That's it for now. Until next time. Trust yourself, honor your guests, and keep working.