001: What Does It Mean to Be a Leader? Artwork

I Have Some Questions...

What if leadership wasn’t about having the answers—but about asking better questions?

On "I Have Some Questions…", Erik Berglund – a founder, coach, and Speechcraft evangelist – dives into the conversations that high performers aren’t having enough. This isn’t your typical leadership podcast. It’s a tactical deep-dive into the soft skills that actually drive results: the hard-to-nail moments of accountability, the awkward feedback loops, and the language that turns good leaders into great ones.

Each week, Erik explores a question that has shaped his own journey. Expect raw, unpolished curiosity. Expect conversations with bold thinkers, rising leaders, and practitioners who are tired of recycled advice and ready to talk about what really works. Expect episodes that get under the hood of how real change happens: through what we say, how we say it, and how often we practice it.

This show is for driven managers, emerging execs, and anyone who knows that real growth comes from curiosity rather than charisma.

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I Have Some Questions...

001: What Does It Mean to Be a Leader?

June 09, 2025 • Erik Berglund

🎙️ Episode Snapshot

In this solo episode, Erik takes us deep into one of the most deceptively simple and misunderstood questions in leadership: What does it mean to be a leader? This is not about personality traits or lofty vision statements—it’s about one clear, powerful definition that transforms how you show up, lead, and grow others. If you’ve ever felt the tension of being too nice, too controlling, or just unsure how to unlock your team's potential this one’s for you.

❓The Big Question

What does it truly mean to lead someone and how can we know if we’re doing it well?

💡 Key Takeaways

Leadership is a verb: to lead is to influence someone toward an advantage.
Influence means being the proximal cause of change. You disrupt the status quo in service of growth.
Advantage must be defined by the person being led, not the leader.
Many leaders fail by being overly relational, overly rational, or by simply “leading by example.”
Great leadership lives in adaptability, tuning your approach to the individual, not your preference.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

F3 Definition of Leadership: To lead is to influence someone toward an advantage.
The Influence + Advantage Matrix:
- Relational Leader: Kind but ineffective; avoids discomfort.
- Rational Leader: Logical but uninspiring; misses buy-in.
- Lead-by-Example Leader: Hardworking but misaligned; leads only themselves.
Golden Rule 2.0: Don’t lead others how you want to be led, lead them how they need to be led.
Leadership as Conversation: Leadership emerges in everyday conversations whether they’re verbal, written, asynchronous.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

Erik shares a personal leadership fail: giving team members heads-up messages he thought were helpful, only to find they eroded trust.
He recounts how discovering the F3 leadership definition reshaped his entire approach to coaching and accountability.
Sports coaches like Nick Saban and Steve Kerr illustrate that the best leaders unlock, not overpower.
You should aim to be the worst individual contributor on your team, that’s how you know you’re empowering others.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

Audit Your Conversations: Were you talking or listening more? Did you ask open-ended questions?
Ask This Question Today: “What can I do to be a better leader for you?”
Shift to Influence Mode: Identify one person on your team and ask yourself, “How can I influence them toward their advantage today?”
Ditch the Traits Checklist: Focus on practicing the skill of asking powerful, open-ended questions.
Identify Your Bias: Are you too relational, too rational, or defaulting to “lead by example”? Adjust accordingly.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“If all you’ve got is a hammer, every problem looks suspiciously like a nail.”“Nice bosses keep people happy until the layoff list hits. Kind bosses care about long-term good.”“Leadership isn’t about how you want to lead. It’s about how they need to be led.”