I Have Some Questions...
Most people know the headline of a leader’s story. Few know the path it took to get there. This podcast goes beyond titles, book launches and business wins, to explore the lived journey behind the thought leader.
Through deep, unhurried conversations, we uncover the moments that shaped them—the doubts, pivots, convictions, and quiet breakthroughs that built their body of work.
Each episode features authors, coaches, executives, and bold thinkers who have forged their own path. Instead of rehearsed talking points, they’re invited into a space where thoughtful questions unlock something more human. The result is a layered conversation that reveals not just what they preach, but how they became the kind of person who can teach it.
Because we believe the best stories aren’t always told—they’re revealed. And when brilliant people are given the right questions and the room to answer them fully, what emerges is insight you can feel, frameworks you can apply, and a deeper understanding of what it truly takes to lead, create, and contribute at a meaningful level.
I Have Some Questions...
043: How to Give Feedback People Actually Hear (And Act On)
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Erik unpacks the art and science of giving feedback that doesn’t just land—but transforms. Drawing from leadership trenches, he challenges the old “feedback sandwich” cliché and lays out a sharper, more human way to communicate with clarity, care, and conviction.
❓ The Big Question
How do you give feedback that someone can truly hear—without defensiveness, confusion, or dismissal—and actually use it to grow?
💡 Key Takeaways
- Feedback fails when it’s vague, sugarcoated, or disconnected from reality.
- The goal isn’t to deliver feedback—it’s to create change.
- Specificity and timing matter more than frequency.
- Feedback is relational—it’s not a monologue, it’s a conversation.
- Courage + clarity = feedback people act on.
🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks
- The Feedback Sandwich Trap: Why padding critique with empty praise backfires.
- Signal vs. Noise: Distinguishing what’s truly actionable from emotional clutter.
- The Clarity Curve: The sharper your message, the quicker the change.
- Feedback as Coaching: Shifting from “I’m judging you” to “I’m in it with you.”
🔁 Real-Life Reflections
- Times when leaders thought they were being “kind” but actually created confusion.
- Moments where one direct, well-timed comment changed an entire career trajectory.
- How Erik himself has had to learn to say the thing out loud even when it’s uncomfortable.
🧰 Put This Into Practice
- Drop the “feedback sandwich.” Say the real thing with care.
- Anchor your feedback in observable behavior, not assumptions about intent.
- Ask yourself: What outcome do I want from this feedback?
- Invite dialogue—feedback should spark reflection, not just compliance.
- Follow up—growth is a process, not a one-off comment.
🗣️ Favorite Quotes
- “Feedback is not about making yourself feel good for saying it. It’s about the other person being able to use it.”
- “Clarity is kindness. Vagueness is not compassion—it’s avoidance.”
- “If you can’t say it clearly, you haven’t thought it through enough.”