I Have Some Questions...

045: "Why Asking for Help Builds More Trust Than Giving Answers" (lessons from Jake Stahl)

Erik Berglund

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0:00 | 7:28

After sitting down with Jake Stahl, Erik reflects on the biggest insights from their conversation about neuro-strategy, influence, and the subtle ways leaders can shape trust. He pulls forward Jake’s key practices and maps them onto his own curiosity-driven approach to leadership and coaching.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

  • Preparation shapes influence: First impressions begin long before the first handshake or Zoom call—your digital presence and prep work matter.
  • Ask for input as a gift: Seeking advice or perspective triggers the same positive biological response as giving someone a treat.
  • Paraphrasing as mastery: Advanced validation means not just repeating what someone said, but adding an empathetic inference that deepens connection.
  • Avoid “Why?” in conversations: While powerful internally, asking “why” often provokes defensiveness in dialogue.

🧩 The Personal Layer

  • Erik imagines treating every interaction like handing someone a brownie—a playful but profound metaphor for leaving people feeling valued.
  • He notices how much Jake’s methods align with the ethos of I Have Some Questions—that the right framing of curiosity can transform any exchange.
  • The idea that “why” can shut people down made Erik rethink his own instinctive questioning style.

🧰 From Insight to Action

  • Audit your LinkedIn profile or digital footprint—what impression are you creating before you even meet someone?
  • In your next conversation, ask for help or input as a way to build trust.
  • Practice paraphrasing with inference: go one step deeper than what’s said.
  • Swap “why” questions for validating restatements that move dialogue forward.

 🗣️ Notable Quotes

  • “Every person you meet should feel like you just gave them a brownie.” – Erik’s reflection on Jake’s insight
  • “First impressions are built before the first words are spoken.” – Erik
  • “The power of a question isn’t always in the question—it’s in how you reframe what you’ve already heard.” – Erik