I Have Some Questions...
Most people know the headline of a leader’s story. Few know the path it took to get there. This podcast goes beyond titles, book launches and business wins, to explore the lived journey behind the thought leader.
Through deep, unhurried conversations, we uncover the moments that shaped them—the doubts, pivots, convictions, and quiet breakthroughs that built their body of work.
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Because we believe the best stories aren’t always told—they’re revealed. And when brilliant people are given the right questions and the room to answer them fully, what emerges is insight you can feel, frameworks you can apply, and a deeper understanding of what it truly takes to lead, create, and contribute at a meaningful level.
I Have Some Questions...
188: "Why Do We Feel Guilty Taking Rest Even When We Deserve It?" ft. Alli Murphy
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Erik and Alli get real about a form of guilt that shows up for high performers and solopreneurs: not only guilt about resting, but guilt about “adulting” not being productive too. They unpack why it happens, what “rest” actually means, and practical ways to give yourself permission without needing it to be earned first.
🧭 Conversation Highlights
- Erik shares how, for him, taking time off can feel irresponsible because his livelihood depends on output, not just because work is demanding.
- Alli describes how guilt can attach to many non-work activities too, from laundry and meal prep to painting, reading, and even choosing to watch Netflix.
- They explore the idea of “permission” and how high achiever brains treat rest like something you must earn, not something you’re allowed to schedule.
- They land on practical experiments and language for rest, including naming an “operation off duty” block and matching rest types (social, physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, spiritual)
💡 Key Takeaways
- Guilt around rest is often less about the task itself and more about the story your brain tells you about earning it.
- Rest is not one thing, and it helps to identify which type (social, sensory, creative, spiritual, etc.) actually recharges you rather than what merely feels like avoidance.
- If rest feels “lazy,” run it like an experiment: do it on purpose, notice what it does to your energy and creativity afterward.
- Sometimes the barrier is performance anxiety plus cultural conditioning about always being productive, not a lack of willpower.
❓ Questions That Mattered
- What story am I telling myself that makes rest feel like irresponsibility?
- Where does my guilt show up outside of work, like with chores or leisure?
- What kind of rest am I actually needing right now (not just what feels like the least productive option)?
- Is this activity genuinely restorative, or is it dopamine fulfillment that I’m mixing up with recovery?
🗣️ Notable Quotes
- “We spend a lot of time talking about clients’ struggles, and I’ll be honest, this is something I struggle with.”
- “We are not the same person… Netflix is a very different category than reading or painting to her.”
- “Experiment with it… Do the rest, and notice how you feel afterwards.”
🔗 Links & Resources