Downsizing and moving your aging parents is one of the hardest tasks of all time. Or maybe your loved one has already passed and you are tasked with selling a home and going through a lifetime of belongings. It’s. Brutal. Seriously, it’s the definition of overwhelm. Where do you begin? In this episode, we welcome guest Alli Rubin who is a professional moving manager and a true ‘easy button’ when it comes to tackling this enormous task. Alli shares actionable tips on how to approach going through all of the stuff along with a thoughtful conversation about how our objects do hold meaning and the way we can honor the past while finding closure and moving on. It’s a good one, welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod!

Takeaways

• The difference between a Hoarder and a Saver - we all think our parents are hoarders, but are they really?
• It’s a gift to move your parents while they are still alive - start the conversations and process early!
• Our objects, our things and our stuff hold meaning. They tell stories. Let's honor that while also downsizing and guest Alli Rubin provides actionable tips to dealing with all of the ‘stuff’. 
• How to make the new place feel like home.
• How to keep objects for future generations and remember our loved ones.
• The difference between hiring a professional mover vs junk removal - and the realistic costs. 
• How our objects can live on and give meaning to others!
• Working with Siblings and creating boundaries and deadlines around the moving process!

Links and Resources

Get in touch with Alli Rubin: allirubin@hotmail.com

**The Following resources are based in Minnesota**

Estate Sales Minnesota

PRISM MPLS - Donate to the Shop for Change Thrift Shop and Marketplace Food Shelf.

SAVERS - Declutter Responsibly.

STEP - Accepts donations for food and clothing.

Bridging - Accepts Furniture, housewares, linens, small appliances, electronics, mirrors, artwork and pictures. 

JFCS Hag Sameach Program -  provides personalized holiday gifts, ritual items, and household necessities to families and individuals who are in need.

Astound Video - Converting VHS, Photographs, CD's, and Video Tape transfers to digital format. 

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests
01:12 Meet Alli Rubin
04:39 When is the right time to call a mover?
14:19 Hoarder vs Saver
19:06 Helping families downsize
30:52 Our objects hold meaning
34:42 The energy our objects hold and passing that along
38:30 The difference between hiring a mover and junk removal
43:15 Estate Sales and Resellers
46:45 Setting Boundaries and Timelines
51:55 Start the moving conversation early, make the calls and plan
56:12 Outro
56:53 Real Talk

Have you ever been asked by a friend, “What can I do to help?” and you go blank?! Yeah, us too. Being in The Sandwich Generation is a lot. And it’s oftentimes hard for our friends and ourselves to communicate just how lonely it feels and how much we need our friends. In this episode hosts Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson discuss the challenges of maintaining friendships, having the capacity and some great tips on how we can accept help and love from our friends. Lets learn together on how to call upon our village, so we can feel a little less alone!

Takeaways

• Life can feel heavy and lonely when you’re in the Sandwich Generation and it’s oftentimes hard to share your true feelings with friends. 
• We need our friendships, now more than ever - but how do we ask for help?
• Friends can show support in simple, meaningful ways
• Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times.
• It's important to include friends in the caregiving journey, even if it's just sharing updates.
• Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times
• Recognizing the efforts of friends and expressing gratitude strengthens relationships. 

Chapters

00:00 Intro to Friendships

01:17 It feels lonely when you're 'Sandwiched'

06:04 The importance of work friendships 

09:26 It takes a village

12:59 Things aren't as they used to be - and that's okay!

19:57 What can I do for you?

28:25 To Laugh or Cry Segment

30:15 Examples of how friends have shown up

37:42 Keeping our Parent's friendships alive and well

42:51 A recap and Survival Guide to Friendships in the Sandwich Generation

47:13 Outro

Raise your hand if you’re a caregiver who has needed to manage your parent’s finances and you think - oh F*ck - this is A LOT more difficult than I expected?!? We think everyone in the room right now feels this way! No matter how full or empty the bank account is, opening the books to your parents finances, managing the cost of care and navigating the emotions of money is a journey that is riddled with feelings. In this episode, we welcome Shannon Foreman, CEO and Founder of Forethought Planning. Shannon is a three-time-sandwiched caregiver herself and has helped countless families walk through the money conversations. We are SO grateful for Shannon’s wisdom in this podcast as we dive into conversations around what legacy really means, long term care insurances, Medicare vs Medicaid and most importantly - how to bring up ‘the money talk’ with your parents, while bringing empathy and humanity to the conversation. 

“Money and Health are so important, intertwined and personal. Just like you need a good bedside manner for health, you have to have a good bedside manner for money too.” - Shannon Foreman

Links + Resources: 

Forethought Planning Podcast: For more deep dives and advice from Shannon Foreman, check out her podcast! Here is a link for Long Term Care Specific Episodes!

Cost of Care Quote: Use this site to calculate the cost of care in your area!

*Minnesota* Medical Assistance 

*Minnesota* Senior Linkage Line

Schromen Law, LLC - Legal Professionals who specialize in Medical Assistance Planning

Types of Long-Term Care Insurance & Alternatives

A. Traditional LTC Insurance

• Annual premiums, use-it-or-lose-it
• Health underwriting required
• Often less flexible

B. Hybrid LTC (Life Insurance + LTC Rider)

• Permanent life insurance with LTC benefits
• If care is never needed, legacy benefit remains
• Usually more expensive upfront, but asset-based

C. Annuities with LTC Benefits

• Income-producing tool with care coverage if needed
• Can be repurposed from existing retirement accounts

D. Alternatives to Insurance

• Self-funding (for high-net-worth clients)
• Medicaid Planning (asset spend-down, trusts)
• Family caregiving (and its financial/emotional costs)

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Finances in Caregiving

06:19 Starting Difficult Conversations

11:52 Understanding Legal Documents

18:23 The Reality of Long-Term Care Insurance

24:25 How has Financial Planning Changed for today's Generation

25:56 Medicare vs. Medicaid Explained

30:53 The Challenges of Medical Assistance

35:52 Leaving a Legacy and what does that mean

39:20 Conversations to plan for a better future for our generation

41:17 Medicaid and Elder Waiver

44:18 Planning for our own futures

47:13 Is it ever too late to hire a professional?

50:00 The first steps in getting your shit together

53:04 Having Empathy and Humanity to the hard conversations

57:25 Real Talk

How the f*ck am I supposed to fit in self care? This is a question we ask ourselves all. of. the. Time. (especially while living this ‘sandwiched’ lifestyle). With the algorithms feeding us endless articles about all the ways we ‘should’ be doing self care, frankly, it all feels like a scam. 

In this episode, we (Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank) open up about the frustrations around taking care of ourselves while being caregivers for both our children and parents. We give some realistic examples of how we fit in tiny moments of joy that help us cope with the stress, along with a deeper conversation on how watching our parents age has had an effect on our own health journeys. And did we mention we talk about making CPAPs sexy?! That’s right - welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod!

Takeaways

• Self care feels like a scam because there is NO time people! 
• Being ‘sandwiched’ and watching our parents age has only made us reflect on our own health journey - because we want to stay as healthy as possible for our children as they grow!
• Taking vitamins might be all the self care there is for the day!
• Shoutout to CPAP machines and amazing sleep! CPAPs are COOL, y’all!
• Finding radical acceptance is important for our mental well being when we’re in the midst of caregiving.
• Everything you do each day is enough. 
• Journaling, therapy, indulging in a great coffee / cocktail, nutrient dense food are all things we’ve found as small joys along the way. 
• Creating boundaries around your time from caregiving is self care. 
• It’s okay to just survive some days; recognizing that is part of self care.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction 

00:47 The Reality of Self-Care in Busy Lives

01:57 Our Personal Self-Care Practices and Challenges

07:09 Making CPAP Machines Sexy and how Sleep is EVERYTHING

15:06 How bedtime with our kids became the best time

19:53 Our own Health Awakening from watching our parents age

27:11 Prioritizing our health for our own aging

29:38 Setting Boundaries: Caring for Family

33:54 Practical Hacks: Self-Care in Everyday Life

37:52 Radical Acceptance: What we are doing is enough

40:35 Outro

Sibling dynamics can be tricky - no matter how loving or estranged you are. Then add in kids, aging parents, living across the country and having to make some big, real-time, decisions together as you begin caregiving for your loved ones. Holy shit - it’s a lot. 

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Frank, Robyn’s sister to the show. The Frank sisters talk candidly about the complexities in navigating care for their aging parents, while managing their own families and being sisters. From living states apart, to dividing and conquering and overcoming our own bullshit to focus on their parent’s wellbeing - we talk about it all. Eliesa also chimes in with some perspective on being an only child and we share some insights on how to support one another - and our parents - while being siblings in The Sandwich Generation. In this episode we let the emotions flow, because this is real life!

Takeaways

How to show up for your siblings while caregiving:

• Build your “Cabinet”, either with your siblings or with trusted family and friends who you can get advice from in making all of the decisions. 
• Also, build a “Cabinet” of your parent’s friends who can continue to reach out and support them. 
• Divide and Conquer with your siblings - and recognize what each other’s strengths are.
• Talk about your boundaries and triggers with your siblings.
• Check in with your siblings - how are they doing in their lives? How is their mental health?
• Above all, put your own bullshit aside and focus on the wellbeing of the loved one you are caregiving for. 

How to show up for your peers who are in The Sandwich Generation:

• Send a text checking in
• Delivering some groceries for their parents 
• Having a visit with their loved one
• House cleaning - for your friends, for their parents or loved one. 
• Offer to help with simple house projects for their parents or loved one. 

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Caregiving with Siblings

01:11 Introducing the Frank Sisters

03:04 Build your Cabinet of People to Help

06:11 Taking Care of your Parents while living in different States

09:52 Feeling Guilt

11:02 Being on the same page with your sibling

16:27 Setting an example for your children

19:04 Stepping up for your sibling when they need it most

21:52 Setting boundaries and noticing triggers

27:08 Showing up for our friends who are Sandwiched

28:20 Our parents need their friends too

31:50 Checking In with your Sibling

35:16 What are you most proud of each other for?

41:30 Being an "only" child and raising "only" children

47:39 Real Talk Segment

“Are you the Power of Attorney?” When shit goes down and a health crisis happens with our aging parents, this is one of the first questions we are asked. But what the hell is a power of attorney and why do we need it?

In this episode, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank are joined by (the fantastic) Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC and we discuss it all. Rachel’s approach to guiding her clients through Estate Planning and Elder Law is truly remarkable and we are so grateful for her advice and real-life-tips that you can put into action to help you today!

Side note: We learned Power of Attorney isn’t just for aging parents, it’s important for ALL of us. Listen in to learn more! 

Takeaways

• Why Power of Attorney and Health Care Directives are important for ALL of us, NOW! Including your freshly turned 18 year old.  
• What’s valuable about hiring an attorney to help with Estate Planning and Elder Law. 
• How to interview attorneys to find the right personality and fit for your family. 
• When to strategically schedule legal meetings + important appointments to allow everyone to retain the information best. 
• How siblings should play to each other’s strengths to divide and conquer responsibilities.
• What’s the difference between Power of Attorney and co-signer on your parent’s bank accounts, and which one is better.

Links and Resources:

**The following links are resources based in the state of Minnesota.**

Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment!

10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. 

State of Minnesota Power of Attorney Forms - If you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. 

State of Minnesota Health Care Directive Form - If you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. 

Low Income Resources:

Mid Minnesota Legal Aid

LawHelpMN.Org

Do you have a hot tip for legal advice to share? Good resources beyond our state of Minnesota? Maybe you have a hilarious Laugh or Cry moment you want to contribute to our show. We want to hear from you ✨

Find us on Instagram @ thesandwichgenerationpod

Join our community on Substack

Email us: hello@thesandwichgenerationpod.com

Visit our Website: thesandwichgenerationpod.com 

Chapters

00:00 Meet Rachel Schromen: The Expert in Elder Law

01:55 Rachel's Personal Journey with Grief and Law

06:48 What the HELL is Power of Attorney?

19:10 Segment: To Laugh or Cry

20:36 Should I DIY the paperwork or hire a pro?

28:22 Mental Capacity for the l

Are you taking care of your young kids and aging parents? Are you feeling like you’re in the messy middle and you don’t know where to go? We felt the same way so we started this podcast ♡

In this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by the sandwich generation, who are simultaneously caring for aging parents and raising young children. Our conversation introduces us, your charming co-hosts, Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson, as we share our personal experiences with being sandwiched. We also explore the emotional and financial burdens of caregiving, the importance of community support, and our hopes and dreams for The Sandwich Generation Pod and how we want YOU to be a part of it all! ✨

Takeaways:

Why is caregiving so emotionally and physically taxing?

Community support is crucial!

How isolation plays into the struggles

Navigating the complex process of Assisted Living

Humor as a coping mechanism is real

Build that community for much-needed support!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to The Sandwich Generation Pod

05:20 What IS Sandwich Generation?

10:41 Our Hopes and Dreams for this Podcast

14:19 Engagement and Community Building

Links and Resources:

We want to hear from you and invite you to be a part of the community we are building! Do you want to share your story of being in The Sandwich Generation? Do you have a question or topic you’d love us to talk about? Maybe you have a very funny or terribly sad To Laugh or Cry Moment? We’d love to hear from you however you want to show up and you can find us in these spaces:

Find us on Instagram @ thesandwichgenerationpod

Join our community on Substack

Email us: hello@thesandwichgenerationpod.com

Visit our Website: thesandwichgenerationpod.com

A quick glimpse of what is to come - Season 1 of The Sandwich Generation Pod will be launching in Mid July 2025. This will be a humorous podcast about caregiving for the young, old, and all of the chaos in between. Hosted by Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank ✨

Follow us @thesandwichgenerationpod