Table for Two

You Only Work One Day a Week

Jason and Nicole Barnett Season 2 Episode 5

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0:00 | 54:47

Jason and Nicole Barnett pull back the curtain on one of the most common misconceptions in ministry: "You only work one day a week."

What do pastors actually do between Sundays? Why do ministry families sometimes carry burdens nobody sees? And why do pastors and their spouses keep saying yes, even when the work is hard?

Along the way, the Barnetts laugh through childhood misunderstandings, revisit the continuing saga of Amber, Sadie, and Madison, and hand the microphones over to their three children for an honest—and hilarious—look at life as pastor's kids.

But beneath the humor is a serious conversation about the unseen side of ministry. From sermon preparation and hospital visits to emotional burdens and difficult conversations, Jason and Nicole share what life in church leadership really looks like. More importantly, they celebrate the victories that remind them why loving people and serving Jesus is always worth it.

If you're a pastor, pastor's spouse, church leader, volunteer, or ministry family, we hope this episode reminds you that you're not alone.

And if you've ever wondered what your pastor actually does all week, pull up a chair. You might be surprised.

Topics include pastoral ministry, church leadership, pastor life, ministry marriage, pastor's kids, emotional labor, sermon preparation, and why the victories make everything else worth it.

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SPEAKER_03

Welcome back to Table for Two, the podcast where faith, family, and real life meet around the table. And that gets real this episode.

SPEAKER_02

It does. We're Jason and Nicole Barnett, and today we're tackling one of life's greatest mysteries.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Pastors work on Sundays, but what do they do for the other six days? It's like they do the opposite of what God does in creation.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

According to some people, you only work on Sundays.

SPEAKER_03

Which means apparently sermons write themselves, hospitals stop existing Monday through Saturday.

SPEAKER_02

If only.

SPEAKER_03

And funerals are conveniently scheduled around football games.

SPEAKER_02

Today we're talking about ministry misconceptions, the invisible work nobody sees, and why we wouldn't trade it for anything.

SPEAKER_03

And I'm also letting our children testify against us.

SPEAKER_02

Oh Lord, help us.

SPEAKER_03

So pull the chair and join us. This is table for two.

SPEAKER_01

Stay set, cheap stuff, miss we set up. Serving the chain dominates for ten chains. Last lines and calcans and holy routines.

SPEAKER_02

So before we jump into today's conversation, let's start with the lighthearted question.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and just know we would love to hear your answers too. So whatever our question is, please answer in the comments. Uh and I I think it's it'd be fun for other people to see different answers too, other than just our answers to the question.

SPEAKER_02

So the question is what job did you completely misunderstand as a kid?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, maybe you thought your teachers lived at the school.

SPEAKER_02

Or veteran veterinarians just played with puppies all day. Or pastors only worked on Sundays.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Apparently some adults still think that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, which is kind of the awkward conversation of this episode. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

But so what job did you completely must misunderstand as a kid?

SPEAKER_02

Um, I definitely misunderstood the concept of veterinarians. Like I did think they played with puppies all day. It wasn't until about high school when one of my friends was considering becoming a veterinarian that I was like, oh, you get to play with puppies. And she's like, yeah, no. Like that's part of it. But this the thing that's worrying me the most is the prospect of having to put animals down.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And I was like, oh, yeah, that does not sound like fun.

SPEAKER_03

No, that wouldn't be fun at all.

SPEAKER_02

I would I would be cr sobbing in my office all day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you would try and find some way to try and like sneak it out.

SPEAKER_02

I definitely would. That is 100% me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Nicole's not allowed in your animals that have no home. That's a rule in our house.

SPEAKER_02

And it doesn't get followed.

SPEAKER_03

I I No, she doesn't listen.

SPEAKER_02

I don't care.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Well, for me, I think actually it's um one of my favorite shows growing up was MASH.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03

Right? It's if you don't know what MASH is, um I'm sorry. Uh but it's a show about Doctor. Well, MASH stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. It's about doctors in the Korean War. Um they're operating like right near the combat zone. But it's a comedy show. Comedy drama dramatic, something like that. Well, anyway. Um But they're army doctors. And so I watched that show thinking, oh, the army's not really like that. This is just this is made this is TV stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Like it's it's it's dramatized for entertainment purposes.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. But then I grew up and I joined the army. And I remember going to basic training, and everything about it was just true. Like the there was a lot of like standing around and waiting to do things, and when you weren't standing around waiting to do things, the things you were doing were hard were were physically challenging or mentally taxing, or you involves you trying to rely on somebody else who you're not sure if they ate crayons as a child.

SPEAKER_02

Or if they ate crayons now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, or if they still ate crayons, you know. So um and I do remember though too, my you know, the the silly punishments that you see in the episodes too, things like that. You're like, oh that's not real, or you'd hear stories from other people. But then I remember one time I was a combat medic and I was on my way out, so like on the weekend you hadn't your weekend was your own. You used to be back home before a curfew time at night. And on my way out, there was a guy who had gotten in trouble, so he was not allowed to go out for the weekend. And this was San Antonio, Texas, in the middle of July. And his task was he was to go to the bushes with a green sharpie and color all of the brown leaves green. So, yeah, so after that, I've like, I'm like, yeah, that that this is real.

SPEAKER_02

But also Alice in Wonderland for painting the roses red.

SPEAKER_03

Also, the last drag I share. Because again, like also like the snafu errors, like that Mash always like you know, shares like they asked for like so many surgical gowns, and instead they got like a million tongue compressors or something stupid like that. Well, I remember my last drill weekend in the Indian Army National Guard, I had to qualify at the range again, which I just like, what's the point in this? Like, but okay. Well, we got delayed because they decided to schedule on this day too, the paratroopers had to get their jumps in. And they decided to drop them above our shooting range. Now, also part of me is like that's kind of good practice for live fire drills, but at the same time, too, we're I wouldn't trust us shooting either, so um, but yeah, you know, everything about that was true. Like, the more I watched it now, I'm like, yep, that would happen. Yep, that's that's not unrealistic. That's it.

SPEAKER_02

Might have been an actual situation during the Korean War that they are recording right now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. What about you? What's what was your you know, you the listener, what about what was something that you misunderstood job-wise as a child? We'd love to hear from you again. Post in the comments on our Facebook page. Um Nicole, you just got a text message. You might want to check it out.

SPEAKER_00

The following segment is not based on any real life events or happenings. The names are made up. Just like Kuzon, isn't we? The characters and names are not real, but the points might be.

SPEAKER_02

So if you've been following us um over the last few weeks, you already are familiar with Amber's story that Amber's been uh Amber's a fictional woman who's been texting me um about a situation with her daughter, and we have an update. So today she sent me a message and it says, Hey Nicole, I have an update, and honestly, I don't understand children. Heather and I spent weeks trying to fix this whole Sadie and Madison situation. We did ice cream, conversations, pep talks, and enough emotional processing to qualify for continuing education credits. I understand that. Nothing worked. So eventually we just stopped trying.

SPEAKER_03

Which is probably what the dad's advice was from the beginning. That's what our advice was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So today or Tuesday, Sadie came home from school and casually announced Madison and I are okay now. Well, apparently Madison forgot her lunch. Sadie showed some of hers. They laughed about something at recess, and that was that. I asked if she apologized. She looked at me like I was an idiot and said, Yeah, mom. I told her I was sorry. Madison says she was sorry too. We're fine.

SPEAKER_03

I could hear the teenage ass without having to see it. Right. I felt it.

SPEAKER_02

But that's it. No speeches, no intervention, no hallmark movie ending. Heather and I called each other and just started laughing laughing. We spent three weeks trying to fix something two 11-year-olds worked out in one afternoon. Yep. You know, the funniest part is Sadie told me, Mom, I think I misjudged Madison too fast. I don't think she was trying to worship Satan. I think she just likes K-pop. So somewhere in all of this, she's actually learning something. Of course, Linda is keeps sharing her two cents and still thinks Sadie shouldn't have apologized because she was standing up for the truth. And Frank, who's way too opinionated, says everybody is too sensitive and doesn't understand why anyone was upset in the first place.

SPEAKER_03

This is either Frank Burns or Frank from Uncle Frank from Home Alone. I could see him as both. Yep.

SPEAKER_02

Meanwhile, the two 11-year-olds have already moved on with their lives and are arguing about some K-pop groups, neither Heather nor I can even pronounce.

SPEAKER_03

Amen.

SPEAKER_02

Parenting is weird. Signed, Amber.

SPEAKER_03

Let me get this straight. They let the kids figure it out.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And they they worked it out themselves.

SPEAKER_02

Like normal, healthy people.

SPEAKER_03

No committee meeting.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. No intervention.

SPEAKER_03

No ice cream summit.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. Just two 11-year-olds figuring out what adults couldn't. And isn't that basically the gospel right there? The little child should lead them. Maybe maybe we need to learn something from these two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you and I have talked about this before. Sometimes trying to lead churches through revitalization, right? And having been youth pastors before and trying to build youth ministries from the ground up, one of the things we've learned is there's really no difference between teens and adults. Yeah. And at this point, working with kids, I would say there's no difference between kids and adults. The only thing well, the difference is baggage.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Adults have a lot of baggage.

SPEAKER_03

Kids and teens.

SPEAKER_02

Teens have some.

SPEAKER_03

Teens have some, but they are they're more they trust if you if you earn their trust, once you earn their trust, you have their trust. Yeah. And they will let they are hearing what you say and they will process it and try to apply it on their own. Yeah. Um again, we've talked about this before. That's what the Bible means and train a child up in the way they should go. It's not do everything for them.

SPEAKER_02

It's teaching them how to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And let them do it. And at the same time, too, model it for them too. Yeah. Because again, we got to this part in the story. Probably because, you know, if you watched the last or listen to the last episode, Frank goofed up, opened his mouth, and Sadie learned that, oh, maybe I was a problem. Now Frank didn't think he was a problem. He was just spouting off about something. Sadie heard it and applied it to herself. And it made her introspective.

SPEAKER_02

Which kudos to Sadie because most adults are not introspective enough for that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah. So looks looks like they worked it out and everything's good to go for now. I mean, they're gonna they're 11-year-olds, they're gonna have drama, they're gonna have problems.

SPEAKER_03

And yeah, it's 10 girls. This isn't gonna be the last battle in the saga.

SPEAKER_02

But let's just hope that grandma and grandpa don't butt their noses in where they don't belong. Exactly. And hopefully that wasn't foreshadowing for the future.

SPEAKER_03

Now I will say this too. Kudos to both moms in this scenario, though, because a lot of times what will happen is the the kids are feuding.

SPEAKER_02

And then moms are like, my child was fine and your child was the problem.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, or even you know, you know, Amber and Heather tried to step in and force the girls to get along, and they could have gotten frustrated with each other in the process, you know, for and so what often ends up happening in these scenarios is parents get involved, they get mad at each other and hate each other. Meanwhile, the kids are best friends again and moved on with their lives.

SPEAKER_02

But the parents have this big rift that lasts generations because we end up in a whole scenario of Romeo and Juliet or Yeah, and then par but honestly, parents seriously just don't get involved in your kids' drama. There's there's no reason for it. Yeah, it's it's gonna be over in a week.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and actually, that's one of the best pieces of advice I got as a youth pastor. And it was my lead pastor at the time I was serving under Raymond DiCamillo who said this to me. He says, Jason, don't get involved in their drama. And it doesn't not only does that apply to teen and kid ministry, it applies to adult ministry too. Like this isn't your mess to clean up.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

They they're asking you for advice, they're coming to you for counsel, but it's not your job to get in there and fix it for them.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Even if they're expecting you to fix it for them. It's not your job, don't do it.

SPEAKER_03

And actually, what's up more often than not, I've never had teens or kids get mad at me, but I've had adults get mad at me.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. No, I know.

SPEAKER_03

Way more than the kids have.

SPEAKER_02

I know. All right. Yeah, we have some stories there.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, well, this next section is kind of gonna be a treat for you as a listener. Uh again, our theme for today is based around the misconception of pastors working only one day a week. But we decided to let our kids answer the question about questions about what we do for a living. So this is their answers. We're here with the Barnett children, and we have questions to ask you. Anything you want to say before we get started?

SPEAKER_05

No.

SPEAKER_03

Why don't we take a minute and you guys can introduce yourselves, okay? Tell everybody your name.

SPEAKER_05

My address.

SPEAKER_03

No, we don't give them your address. Stranger Danger, we've had this conversation. All right. We don't care about Stranger Danger. Your age, your name, and something fun that you want everybody to know about you. Alright, we'll start over here.

SPEAKER_04

Why me? Um, I'm Jaden. Uh I'm the oldest. I'm blonde.

SPEAKER_02

How old are you?

SPEAKER_05

12. Must be 13. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, this one.

SPEAKER_05

My name is Emrest, and I'm eight years old, and I really like the human body.

SPEAKER_03

That's some pretty intense details in. She understood the assignment and got it right. Otherwise, all the all the blonde didn't. And this is the last one here.

SPEAKER_05

Hi, I'm Ben, and I like I um my age is 10, I think. And um I like ma I like magic and um um astronomy.

SPEAKER_03

That's cool. That's cool. That's really cool. All right. So I'm gonna ask you some questions, okay? And this has to do about what mommy and daddy do as pastors, okay? So answer honestly. You can have fun with it, but answer honestly, because this is gonna help other pastors, kids, and people that maybe are familiar with what pastors do every day. That so when you when you give your answer, okay? Think about that. So the first question, you ready? There's five questions. Here's the first one. What do mom and dad do all week?

SPEAKER_05

Uh work.

SPEAKER_03

What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_05

Uh like type on the computer and work on it. Like use like write down sermons and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_06

Well, that's mostly dad on Saturdays.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Because mostly um, I mean, mostly on a daily basis. Uh you yeah, you do work a lot, but like m mom has some other stuff to do, you have more stuff to do. And mostly on Saturday, mostly we're just upstairs doing nothing.

SPEAKER_03

True. You guys have anything else you want to add to that question?

SPEAKER_05

Uh no. Wait, I think I do.

SPEAKER_03

What?

SPEAKER_05

I didn't have one.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, question two. You're ever questioned two?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Of course.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, question two. What is the weirdest thing about having pastor parents?

SPEAKER_05

They talk too much. And I don't know, it's kind of fun and they're silly.

SPEAKER_02

We're silly? Yeah, you're silly.

SPEAKER_05

And also be silly.

SPEAKER_06

Well, I would say, yeah, you guys do talk a lot. Um, but um it's mostly weird because like yeah, people would think, especially at school or some sort, you like they would think that we would have like a most easier life, like all that. While we're just like mostly just waiting for our parent parents to be done, and we're just waiting for to hang out and all that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, a lot of waiting, right?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I'm impatient.

SPEAKER_03

You get that from your mother.

SPEAKER_06

I know.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, question three. You ready for question three?

SPEAKER_06

No, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Do mom and dad ever get days off?

SPEAKER_05

Oh man! No, guys, can I explain, please? Okay, anyway, let's continue. Anyway, okay. Um, maybe on ha like fun days, like let's say holidays.

SPEAKER_03

Like what holidays?

SPEAKER_05

Christmas, Halloween. Do we get Christmas off though? Oh wait, no. Oh wait, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Amy, what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_05

I don't really know I don't really remember.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Well, we do we really get days off.

SPEAKER_05

Sort of sort of we mean by sort of confusing.

SPEAKER_02

Some days, like Do we ever have like a set day off?

SPEAKER_06

Uh no. Oh, it's like yeah, it's kind of confusing because sometimes you do have days off, but sometimes you don't because you but most of the time you don't really do get a day off because even like when we're on like on like a week of break, dad still has like dad still has sermons to do. Or I do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes even when we're on vacation, we'll get text messages from people back home needing pastoral care. Yeah. So what were you gonna say, bud?

SPEAKER_05

I was also gonna talk about the vacation, but uh sorry, bud.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry. Do it. All right. Here's the last question. You each of them, I'll make sure you each get some time to answer this one, okay?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

The last question is. Oh wait, no, we're on question four. I skipped question five. Right, so hold that thought.

SPEAKER_02

One more question before that.

SPEAKER_03

My last question. Alright, question four. What do people misunderstand about pastors? Um, what do what do your friends at school think that we do or say about us that they get wrong?

SPEAKER_05

They think that you guys have a lot of days like off for like throughout the week without church. Um, we all um every d nomination believes in the same thing.

SPEAKER_03

They think, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

I've heard of that.

SPEAKER_06

Or like they think that um like we um try to I can't put my words in my mouth. Well, it's basically like they would think that what they like most people whenever they like they go to new church churches or some some sort, they would think that they believe what they believe. Like what the pastor bel like with the what put the pastor believes, they person will not misunderstand what they believe. And yeah, like yeah. Yeah, I tried to put the right words in my mouth. I did not do that.

SPEAKER_02

No, you're right. When when when you're at school and you tell people that you're a pastor's kid and that you're a Christian, they automatically assume you believe certain things, which may or may not be true, huh?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, like they don't like they think I'm I'm a whole like different person. Yeah, I've I no I'm this exact same person.

SPEAKER_05

Have you guys noticed that the noise thing hasn't really gone up?

SPEAKER_03

It's all right. All right, here's the last question. All right, you ready for the last question?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, scared.

SPEAKER_03

All right, again, you each will get a chance to answer this one, okay?

SPEAKER_05

Let's start with Ben this time.

SPEAKER_03

All right, we'll start with Ben. What is your favorite part about being a pastor's kid?

SPEAKER_05

Um being lazy.

SPEAKER_03

Being lazy, what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_05

Um, well, while you guys work, I lay in bed watching TV. They take five bowls of cereal every day, which I'm not lying about. That and we saw me get about six, I think.

SPEAKER_03

You know what I'm supposed to lie about it? Is the counter and the floor. Alright, is that all your answer?

SPEAKER_06

I mean, I did I did do something cereal.

SPEAKER_03

Go ahead, Ben.

SPEAKER_05

J looks like a stop sign.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. Okay, all right, Emmy, what's your favorite part about being a pastor's kid?

SPEAKER_05

I like staying home.

SPEAKER_03

That way, like we get more time to like chill out and like so like we have less time to like do stuff and like get a chill out and so yeah, we're busy a lot, so you don't get a lot of time to rest, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, we don't have that much family time either.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So it's nice when we do, right?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Like vacations.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Alright, Jaden, what about you? What's your favorite part about being a pastor's kid?

SPEAKER_06

Okay, well, I think. Well, I will say the most thing that I have loved about being a pastor's kid is mostly just being around friends that have uh they've um they've been in church before, but um, I get to invite them to church with me because I had a few we have a few f I have a few friends I be coming to church now.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And um being able to uh talk to um uh one of my friends whenever she needs me and let her know what like like talk to her.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. Any any last words before you guys are finished for for this episode?

SPEAKER_05

My last words on my life will be um, I want cookie dough.

SPEAKER_03

You want cookie dough?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. I want cookie dough. Oh wait, wait, wait. Was it the um last words for the broadcast?

SPEAKER_03

No. That was just your last part of your bit here. Amy, you got anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_05

I wanna say I hope uh all of you guys have a great day.

SPEAKER_03

That's nice of you, Emmy. How about you, Jaden?

SPEAKER_06

I don't have anything. I don't know who these people are.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, perfect. All right. Well, thank you. You guys can go now. Well, I hope you enjoy getting to meet the Barnett children. Hopefully, some of you remember Ben from the end of last season. Um he has been officially diagnosed with ADHD now. And it kind of showed up in his answering of the questions. There's a couple of moments where Ben. It was Ben. Yep, totally Ben. But that all three personalities of our kid were on display fully in their answers. And that's so I hope you enjoyed that. But now it's our turn to talk about this misconceptions.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Right. This title, the title for this episode comes from one of the classic comments pastors here, and it's one action my Uncle Tim loves to kid me about every time we go to visit. He says, She only work one day a week.

SPEAKER_02

And most of the time people don't mean anything bad by it, but they only see the 30-minute sermons. They don't really see the rest of it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And they think that that um that sermon just magically appears, like I printed it off of YouTube.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And but the thing is, is it does hurt.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I remember one time I you had been um, I think you had preached like three times away from the church while we were youth pastoring in Monongahala. And one of the old older ladies came up to me and after the sermon at, you know, at our church, and you were gone. And she asked you, is Jason still doing that youth thing?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And it's like, it's not youth thing. It's it's basically another church inside of our church. Like he's planning sermons, he's doing pastoral care, he's doing it.

SPEAKER_03

He's doing his teens into Yeah, but she didn't see it.

SPEAKER_02

So it was just the youth thing. And then um, I have a friend who's a who's a church administrator, and she she had somebody come up to her and be like, you know, I don't understand why the church has to pay you. What do you do all day? Right. And it's like, you're not here, so why are you asking?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you're making assumptions based on what you see.

SPEAKER_02

And you're only here for an hour every Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, or maybe yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe an hour.

SPEAKER_03

But considering that the average church of defendance is a find it's one to two Sundays a month. You're there two hours out of the month, and you want to criticize the people that are there every day putting in all the time and the effort. Um but again, what people don't see is the the hidden things, right? Like, yeah, you see us 30 minutes, and now let me tell you this: when you get up to preach, um it's an intense 30 minutes. It really is. You are trying to you're you're ringing your brain out, trying to share Jesus. Now again, the Holy Spirit helps you through it.

SPEAKER_02

And you're hoping so part of that ringing ringing out is you trying to silence yourself so the Holy Spirit can speak.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And that's at the same time, as you're speaking, you're trying to gauge the the people sitting there to make sure they're understanding what you're saying. Um then you know, it's and actually to me at the end after the sermon's over on a Sunday, it's like the biggest relief because that burden is finally off your shoulders that you've been carrying all week. And and yes, when I say all week, my sermon prep for the week starts Monday morning.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like I I already know what I'm talking about this week.

SPEAKER_02

And sometimes it starts Sunday night.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it starts Sunday night. It depends on how excited I am for the next what's next. Um, but most ser most now, every pastor's different, and if your pastor is different than this, and do sing those things differently. There's there's nothing wrong with that. Um I'm sure they're spending time in the word, and that's that's still sermon prep, no matter how you spin it. Um But uh the average sermon takes anywhere from six to twelve hours to get ready of the week during during a week.

SPEAKER_02

Um I mean And there's no shortcuts around it. No, and uh most of that time is is usually like right before as you're writing it, but there's a lot of word study and and commentaries, and I mean I I guess we're kind of speaking blanket here, assuming pastor you know, some of some of our viewers' pastors are actually doing that. Um I do know of pastors that are that they literally just get up there on a Sunday morning and preach. Um, I don't recommend that though, because far too often that's that's our initial reaction to the text and not necessarily God's reaction.

SPEAKER_03

Well, the other thing I would say too is your task in that moment is to take God's word on God's behalf and present it to his people, yeah, or the people that are gathered there. You better go into that knowing for sure that you're if you're speaking for God, you better go into it knowing that what you're saying with confidence is God's saying it. Yeah, that's the big thing is going with confidence about it. Um but it it takes a lot of work, it takes some digging, digging sometimes. And sometimes too, you'll know because you know the people in your congregation, you know their hearts, you know the things going on in their families and in their lives, and you'll be on a particular passage for that week, and you know this is gonna hurt. This is gonna hurt. And they're gonna now I plan my sermons well in advance, so I never intentionally point the battleship guns at anybody, but sometimes it lines up in specific ways where it's just like And it's lined up in some pretty specific ways. Yeah, like I remember one time I was preaching a series on divorce, and then that week I was preaching on marriage, and this couple decided to visit the church for the first time, and they were what we Nazarenes call cohabitating. They were living together and they were not married. And again, I wasn't trying to scare them off, I wasn't trying to preach at them, and I did my best to not, but at the end of the day, that that's what the passage was addressing. And so I I preached it and I knew I said I remember getting to pulpit saying, God, are you sure this is what you want today?

SPEAKER_02

Because if I share this, they're yeah, but you did a good job with it. Now the couple never actually returned to the church, but they did refer to Jason as their pastor on Facebook regularly after that. So, you know, they how you present the truth in that in that moment does also affect a lot. Yeah, but you know, you were saying that this is something that you sued on all week. The challenge for me is both a blessing and a curse. Like I preach twice a quarter. Three times a quarter, three times a quarter now. Sorry, wow. So there's four quarters in a year, so I preach three times every three months.

SPEAKER_03

Yep. And so and her husband's in charge of putting that.

SPEAKER_02

And he always schedules it during the worst times, just saying, but but like I'll be stewing on a passage not for a week, but for weeks, and so there's this burden that just keeps building and building and building, and then like something will happen. And I'll be like, and and again, I've had this passage on my mind, but then something will happen, and it'll be like, oh, this is gonna hurt because I know what God wants me to preach on. And if I if I had been able to preach it when God gave it to me, then it wouldn't have like it would have been available, but it wouldn't have been seeming to preach out a situation, yeah. But then it seems to preach out a situation, and because I only preach three times every three months, people tend to take it a little bit more personally. Yeah, like they're like, hmm, this how do I know that she's been planning this? Like she could have just pre you know, heard about my situation two days ago and decided, oh, I'm gonna focus on that. Um because yeah, but my sermon prep is weeks long, not a week, not a week long.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but I don't have a calendar. It's as you know, what am I preaching on this next time? And I I'm gonna tell you guys right now, my next sermon is is on the parable of the wedding feast. And I'm just saying that right now, so that way if something comes up in the next couple of weeks, it's not me preaching out that situation.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Um, but that's just you know, you you know about this, they know about the sermons and stuff on Sunday morning. That part, the part they see, but they also don't know that I get up at anywhere between five and six o'clock on Sundays to get myself dressed, and then to start finishing things up. Like I now, if you're at a larger church, you have probably a senior pastor, an associate or two, kids' directors, you have administrators, you have all these people doing things. And and we hit we have that on a small scale, but we have it in our church, we're we're a smaller church, and so we have volunteers. But again, volunteers are volunteers. You can't, you know, they're doing the best they can with the time that they have. So I have to, you know, I take care of the slides. I take care of, you know, you know, the can means both my sermon slides and the worship slides. I I it's up to Nicole and I to get the soundboard going. It's up to Nicole and I to get the live feed rolling. Uh I make the bulletins on Sundays. I'm the one that types up the order of service and gets it printed out. Um, I don't pick the worship songs. I have an awesome intern worship pastor who's been doing that for a long time. Um I have again, we have great wonderful board members, great leaders in our church that work really hard. I love them. I'm proud of them. I'm appreciative of them. But again, when you're a pastoring a small church, again, if you're you go to a church that's running anywhere from 40 to 75, you're your pastor's probably doing way more than what you see.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And his wife is too, whether she's an associate or just his wife.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And actually, I saw a I saw a post the other day where um, or actually today, it was regard it said, regardless of your belief regarding women, women in ministry or women pastors, the church you attend likely expects a two-for-one combo. And basically what that means is the expectation is we hired one, but we're expecting work from both.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And honestly, I would have to say that's true because there is not a single church, whether complementarian or egalitarian, that I've attended, where now I attended a small church, but again, um where the wife wasn't doing something.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And when she wasn't, it reflected poorly on her husband and it was and she was gossiped about. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And so that's so there's that element of it. That's again, we're just talking about the service for Sunday. Like that's that's what we're addressing right now. We now the rest of the week, what happens? You you still have to factor in hospital visits and funerals. And you know, this past Sunday, um, we had a wonderful man at Connect, you know, as a part of our member of our church that passed away. Um, and so that happened on Friday. And so Friday and Saturday, on top of trying to get ready for service, we're trying to minister. I think well, I think it was Thursday. But we were trying to minister to this family. And then the funeral was on Sunday afternoon, so I had a funeral to get ready to preach, and also trying to help our wonderful lady who organizes the funeral dinners, make sure she had everything she needed to get the funeral dinner ready for on this end of it. And then we still had the funeral dinner to do. And then after that, we had we had a my daughter Jaden had two of her friends come over. Emirates had a friend come two friends. Two friends come over, and Ben had a friend come over. And so now keep in mind that was the friends coming over was set well in advance, but our family schedule had to shift to accommodate what was happening with the church. Not complaining, this is just that's just reality. Um you have counseling and counting in the olden days, you just scheduled an appointment with your pastor, and you still people still do that. But nowadays, because of technology, people have 24-7 access to their pastor. Um and I'm not the one that's gonna, I'm not gonna turn you away when you come to me. No, no matter what time you now I now if you text me at three in the morning, I may not see it till seven, but sometimes I'm still awake and I'll see it and I'll respond. Yeah, and I'll have conversations with you. Um because why? Because if you're hurting, you're not you need someone right then. I've been in that spot where I needed someone right then, and so I'm not gonna make you wait if I'm able to not make you wait. Um and trust me, if I if I have if you have to wait for me to communicate, I feel terrible about it. I feel guilt over that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Should I I get like I I freeze with anxiety when that happens.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah, you know, then you have your phone calls, you have you're trying to organize volunteer schedules. You know, Cole and I, we were trying to do kids' ministry and teen ministry. Getting ready to kick off here. I taught a Bible study tonight before I come I started recording this podcast. I had to put this podcast together. I'm still trying to get the sermon podcast stuff put together to get that sermon out there. Um, and then you know, we like the last two Sundays, our live stream has failed, and we were still trying to figure that out. Oh my word, that's been so frustrating. Mac microphone batteries dying in the middle of service. You have to hurry up and change those out.

SPEAKER_02

Um and then we have random Karen-like comments because the flowers outside are yellow instead of red or something, something silly like that. And and that I promise that's not a real situation right there, but I guarantee you, some church somewhere, that's an exact situation for someone.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So you're literally so when people say I work one day awake, I my joking response is yes, I do. It starts on Sunday and ends on Saturday. Yep. Like it's one day. Now we don't sleep. Yeah, yeah. And my my I often joke that sleep is a is a crutch. Um long live monster energy drinks. Did I just endorse the market the beast? I don't know. Um now I will say that's not the hard the hard part of the job is not that. Yeah, that's physically tiring. The hard part is the emotional toll. Yeah. Because you're dealing with people in real life messy situations, people that you've grown to love and care about. If you're doing ministry right, your love for the people around you is genuine.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And so when they're dealing with things like chronic illness or marriage problems or addiction or depression or or deaths in the family. Yeah, you're you're hurting with them. I mean, the Bible calls Christians to mourn with those who mourn. And pastors tend to be the first ones people call when they're dealing with that stuff. Like we were the first call.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Which is an honor, you know, that that the it's a it's an honor that they feel they trust us that much, they value us and love us that much to I've gotta call my pastors about this.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. But it's also devastating because also I was on the receiving end of seeing a message or seeing information shared by a pastor's wife about my family before I got the news. So at that point, it's information, it's knowing things that I can't share. Yes, I can't unburden myself until I know that this is public information.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And so I'm carrying that burden with no outlet.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And then at the same time, too, somebody will come along meaning well sometimes, and they will start saying something about this person in a negative way that you're, you know, they've that person that they're talking about, they that person that person unloaded a burden on you that you know is really impacting their life and really impacting things around them. But because you can't share that, it just tears you up on the inside because you can't tell this other person that's talking about them in this negative way. Like, listen, if you should if I could just tell you the full story, yeah. And you do and you try your best to try, you try and and deflect and try and reroute and try and to correct. But again, people are people, they're gonna make their choices. Yeah. Um, and so that's hard. That's an emotional hard thing to carry. Um, then you got then we're telling those people that that say they love you, you're the best pastor they've ever had, and then they push you out the door, or or you watch them leave your church.

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes they'll tell you because that's because they're telling everybody that you're the worst pastor they've ever had.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. You watch them leave and you're like, you take it personal.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And then sometimes it is personal, but sometimes it's not. It's just life changed and they're ready for a change.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, but you take it personal. Um, sometimes you're misunderstood. Right? Again, people think you work one day a week, and so when when you can't get there immediately, like you maybe you're with your family out to dinner in Richmond and something happens and it takes you an extra 20 minutes to get back, they're they're they just they don't understand why you weren't there right away. Yeah. Which that happened to Jesus.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Or or or you're at your own family's funeral and somebody's having surgery, and they're like, Why is my pastor not here? And you're like, because I'm literally seven hours away.

SPEAKER_07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And I'm not driving back for a day's surgery when my family is grieving. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Or yeah, and sometimes you personally are carrying something heavy on top of it carrying your browser stuff. And so you're standing in that pulp, but you're heartbroken, you're beaten down, but there is nobody else.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You gotta preach anyway.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And and you dealt with that when I was in the hospital.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and Nicole, this is the year before we started the podcast. Nicole had some liver issues that had her in the hospital for uh over a week. Uh now my church part was wonderful. They would have let me take that sound of the off, but I'm not that type of person. I said I've got to keep it.

SPEAKER_02

He he's the type of person that if he takes time off, he'll wallow.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And so he had to keep his schedule as normal as possible until we had so until there was a reason for it to not be.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And I even told him the same thing.

SPEAKER_03

So but and I was trying to also keep it somewhat normal for the kids because I didn't want them to panic at mom. Even though they took a hard two.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, after I got home, my daughter ended up like having a full-blown panic attack at school.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but really, because part of what was happening is I'm I'm trying to pastor the church, be a good husband, see my wife in the hospital, and also still trying to be dad and take care of the household too. And I'm not saying I was perfect at all any of them, but it was hard. It was hard on the kids during that time period. Now, now I had some again, our church people here are wonderful. They stepped in and helped out, and we actually had some of them fighting about who got the kids to help me take the kids when I was going back and forth. And I always remember and appreciate and love them for that. Um But yeah, the emotional baggage is what people don't see.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, or you know, you walk with a a couple through married marital counseling, and you really think they're gonna make it, or you you walk with somebody through an addiction and they find Jesus and you think, oh, maybe this time is different, and then the wheels just come off.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And you're devastated. You don't know what to do about it. Or someone that you in the church that you love and respect is dying. Yeah. And you love the family and you love this person, you have to go and pray and say, God, would you help them go quickly? And sometimes you can pray that prayer and sometimes you can't. And that's how I've had it happen both ways. Um so again, the hard part of the job is not the schedule, it's not the the the It's the loving people. Yeah, it's loving people.

SPEAKER_02

The hard part is not the ability to love people, the hard part is the burdens that you carry when you love people.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Okay, and it it breaks your pastor's heart when you are carrying something.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but still share not to share with your pastor because it breaks our heart more when we know that you didn't share it with us or you felt like you were gonna burden us with it. No, no, that's what we're there for. We know what we're signing up for when we become pastors.

SPEAKER_03

It's this is just us letting you know from the other side of the table. We hurt for you, yes, and we hurt with you. Like uh, I have a part of my devotions in the morning, I have what I call the victory book. Yeah, and it's it's kind of a prayer journal. And I in the back I write all the ways that God has answered prayer the day before. Now I don't always say it every day, but yeah, I try and write something down. I I have a list of names of people that I've met that need Jesus. Um, but also anytime someone gives me a prayer request, I post I write it on a post note and I stick it in that pr that victory book. And I believe me, I cross it off when those prayers are answered. Sometimes they're answered miraculously and I end up writing about them as a as a praise, and sometimes I just cross them off and praise God silently. But um I I really pray for you. And if you if you you you share with your pastor, I guarantee you they really pray for you too. They care.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Now, again We're we weren't telling you any of this to to complain or or make you feel sorry for us or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03

We signed up for this. We knew okay, maybe we didn't know fully, but when we answered God's call to this life, we had some idea that this was involved. We s we were sent when we said yes to Jesus, we were saying yes to living life with you. Yes. And and I would do it again a hundred times. Yeah. Um let me tell you why it's worth it though. Just at our church just last year, we had 23 different people say yes to Jesus in their lives. Yes. It was 100% worth it. Yeah. All those weeks where you have Tuddle Huddle on Monday night, board meeting on Tuesday, Bible study Wednesday, kids' group on Thursday. Right? Those long weeks, it was worth it for all of that.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

It was worth it for the seven baptisms that we had.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And you know, when when one of those was a little girl that had been to church or literally the Sunday after her, like it was her first Sunday. She wanted to be baptized, and we scheduled it and made it happen. Yeah. And then, you know, watching kids grow up. I mean, we have we have a little boy that we literally held while he was in the hospital as a newborn. And he he just celebrated his fourth birthday. Yeah. And and he is he is a tear, and I love that kid, and he is just amazing.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And his older brother is such a sweet pee, and his uncle.

SPEAKER_03

And for me, like one I have one of my favorite pictures that I have, I need to get it framed and hung up somewhere. Is um again, I was a youth pastor before I got to this, you know, Selfridge before I got this current assignment. And now looking back, seeing all the teens that we work with, I am so proud of every one of them. The C the people that they become.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you need to tell them about Yeah, I'll tell them about the position that she's in.

SPEAKER_03

Again, one of our shyest students, one of our students that dealt with a lot of things in her life now is directing a kids' camp. The last student I would ever guess that would do this, but I'm so proud of her.

SPEAKER_02

Like that is amazing thing.

SPEAKER_03

Um like that that makes it worth it. You look back and you see that it's like, man, I remember having to have these conversations with this kid about things and and to see where she's at now. Um that makes it worth it. Yes. Um someone saying, you know, or I have peace, that's it may not have worked out exactly the way they wanted it to.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Some they may have had to pay the cost of their freedom, you know. Yeah. But to hear them say, I have peace.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's worth it. Um visiting somebody that you're not sure of their spiritual condition, but you know that the clock's running out, and they say, Hey, can you pray with me? Yes. When you go in, that makes it worth it.

SPEAKER_02

And what about the woman who just needed a ride to church? She called up the church, she's like, I want to come. I don't have a ride.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

She lives just up the road, and she she wanted a ride to church. That was amazing.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Or the moments where you have new kids to the church and you're letting them be door greeters to get them involved.

SPEAKER_02

And they're so excited, so they're like shouting at the cars driving. And they're doing coming up.

SPEAKER_03

And you know, you know how like kids will do like the semi thing that they get the semi-song horn. They were doing that, getting people passing by to honk their horns, and it was so wonderful. It was a wonderful thing. Like it was worth it to see that. Yes. You know, it's like they were that excited. Imagine if all of us were that excited to be at church. But like you see that and it excites you. Um, and really, even the church here, the the way they embraced the 80 for Easter thing.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Where they took it up, they took up the challenge I said to pray for three to five people and then invite them. Like, not just, hey, we come to church with me, fill out a card and be intentional about it. Like, they did that.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and and I'm gonna I'm gonna talk about somebody specific here. I'm not gonna name their name, but what about the parents of the kids that still don't come to church regularly, but anytime anybody says, I'm looking for a church, they're on Facebook and they're like, Well, this is a great one. The pastors are are amazing, the people are friendly and and loving, and and it's the best church in our community, and da-da-da-da-da. And I mean, like, they don't come regularly. Yeah, but but they they know this is their church, this is their church, and and that like that is so powerful. I I literally cry. I'm not I'm not exaggerating. I literally cry every time I see posts like that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so all those moments where you're tilling hard soil, and again, I don't if you've followed me on Facebook recently, I said the thing is the soil rarely starts off good. No, right? Like I'm talking about the parable soil or the G shares. So many times you have to dig the rocks up to make room for the soil. Sometimes you have to cut the thorn bushes out, which is dirty work. You have to chase the birds off. You have to do all this hard work to prepare the soil, but every once in a while, what makes it all worth it is God gives you a peek what's behind the curtain.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And that changes everything. Yeah, it gives you just enough energy to try it again.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, it's again one of my favorite songs is a secular song. Kind of a secular song. I don't know. It's from the band Switch, but it's called I Dare You to Move. And there's been so many times where I've been knocked down by something in ministry or life while in ministry, and then I'll hear that song, and it reminds me, it's like God's way of saying, I dare you to get back up and see what I do after this. Right. Um now I'm kind of getting to a point where when something knocks me down, I'm excited to get back up because I don't know what's okay, it's not gonna stay this way forever. Come on. Yeah, let's go. Um again, I'm not I'm not here to try to tell you like nobody goes into the ministry because it's easy, or they're gonna become a millionaire and have their own private yacht, or that's not why you do it.

SPEAKER_02

And nobody stays because it's easy. They just they stay because once in a while God reminds them why they said yes. That's right.

SPEAKER_03

And if you're listening and you're a pastor, church staff, member, volunteer teacher, or someone who just quietly serves your church every day, thank you. Your pastor, if you're helping your pastor out serving somehow in any way, just thank you. What you do matters. Yeah, you don't have any idea. Your pastor may just say thank you, but there is so much more emotion behind that thank you than what they can express.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. And you know, if your pastor has weird hours, answered text at dinners, disappears at hospitals, or occasionally looks tired, or always looks tired, pray for them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And maybe don't complain about the yellow flowers or the green carpet or the crumbs on the table.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Let it go. Because they are f they are carrying things and dealing with things that you don't know.

SPEAKER_02

You don't. And you know, sometimes you don't want to burden your pastor, but they definitely don't want to burden you. That's right.

SPEAKER_03

So that's all we got for this time. And until next time. Grace and peace.

SPEAKER_01

Church cheese in hand, copying mugs. Our life's held together by grace and a few hugs. Stay set, cheese up, mix. We said oh two. It's not about ladders, it's me and you. Serving the kingdom in a twist and cheese. Last lines and called hands and holy routines. Pull up for two, tell the truth. Love it, face with the side of the face, will talk you. Hello.

SPEAKER_05

Can you guys be normal for a while? No. No, you did not wait, Jinx. You're dead. Jade, can I have an ever gone do something? You just sound like you're kind of blonde. I wonder if I just grab this and then.

SPEAKER_06

No, wait, no, you're not, you're not kind of blonde. You're kind of short.

SPEAKER_05

You're short.

SPEAKER_04

I'm taller than you. But it you fly taller than you, and you're the shortest person alive.

SPEAKER_05

You flex on your height. It's like a big deal for you.

SPEAKER_04

Seriously, I always flex on my height.

SPEAKER_05

To be honest, you're not that tall. I'm taller than you.

SPEAKER_04

That's way taller than you. Well, I'm about to be taller than her, so Mrs. Big Bum Dun. Cologne. Perfume. Dispatch ice pack. Cologne of the truth. Perfume and cologne, technically the first one. Dr.

SPEAKER_05

Pepper, dispatch ice pack of Google Chrome. Ice cream cone.

SPEAKER_06

Did not hear any of that. All I heard was snow cone.

SPEAKER_05

I said ice cream cone.

SPEAKER_06

I heard ice cone. Mom's right behind you.

SPEAKER_05

I don't see a mom behind me. Because you're not looking behind me. Why didn't you just tell me to look behind me?

SPEAKER_06

Because I just said she was right behind you.

SPEAKER_05

Imagine having to deal with me every single day.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, say goodbye, children.

SPEAKER_05

I kind of forgot that we were recording her voices.

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