We Survived MAY-cember… Barely | Mom Chaos, Pregnancy & Birthday CRAZIES! | DoP #50

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:09

Hey besties. I'm McKinley. I'm Danielle. Welcome back to Dash of P.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Woo! We literally always start it the same way. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Actually, sometimes we've like just a little bit in the end.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Kind of in a hot mess, but when we actually do the intro correctly, it's always like a weird celebratory. Hello, girlies. And a few men. Yeah. Not many. We see you. We see you. We're supported in this pink podcast. We are doing a little chatty life update today because I just got so tired. No, we just started. We just started. We have a lot to catch up on. We haven't been talking as much because life has been cruel. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

It is we are in the midst of May Sember right now.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

You were literally just saying, I don't think May could get any crazier.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

I agree. I think May is. Listen, hear me. I my fear is having more May babies. Because we literally have, just for reference, okay, ready, ready? Um it starts with Hayden's birthday. Okay. Then Avalon's birthday. Then Shelly's birthday. Oh. Shelly's birthday is the 20th. My dad's birthday is the 21st. That's a lot. Then my mom's birthday is the 27th and Father's Day and Mother's Day. Oh, Mother's Day. Wait, was Mother's Day?

unknown 1:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Mother's Day, April? Was it in May? It was May this year.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Oh, wait, Father's Day is in June. I lied, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Oh, still, okay, hold on, hold on. Okay, so 21st is my dad's birthday. 27th is my mom's birthday. Oh man. 30th is my birthday. June 4th is as and Benny's birthday. And then Father's Day. I didn't know they had the same birthday. Same birthday.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Holy cow, that's crazy. So Piper and Father. What? Piper's birthday and Father's Day are on the same day this year.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

Oh, and Neymar's birthday is in June, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Yes. So it's it's crazy. That is crazy. That's a lot. That is a lot. It just continues and continues and continues. It's kind of this season where everyone's like getting excited for summer and stuff. So like there's more ramp up. I always feel like there's so random, like there's more events.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Events, all of like so many freaking I am so sick of graduations. Graduations?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Oh my god. I also feel like there's been so many baby showers, bridal showers. Like all of the celebratory things, which we're doing a whole episode on creating magic, all that soon. But it's so hard when they're all around the same time. That's just kind of the same as like November to December. It's so fun, such a good time, but it's just, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Well, and like I didn't even realize how crazy it was until like really this year, being a mom and being like, hold on, my house has been a mess for weeks, and I have not had a chance to clean it because we get home at 10 p.m. and I have to work still.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Or you still have to put the baby to bed.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

And it's like, well, that's the thing is that people don't realize. It's like, okay, we work from home and they're like, oh, but you get to play and play. No, I'm up till like four o'clock in the morning a lot of times, working my butt off because I'm choosing to spend time with my family during the day. And then you still have to do the work at night. And then I still have to separate work from home of I'm not I'm not complaining, but like I still have to separate work from home of like, okay, well, when am I working? When am I cleaning? When am I cooking? When am I meal prepping? When am I doing laundry? When am I taking me time? When like it's so hard.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Well, that's what's the hardest thing about working from home and like kind of creating your own schedule. There's no separation, but also you kind of you have to be the one to set the line and be like, okay, this is the schedule. But I don't know about you. Maybe it's as my kids get older. I feel like each season I have to reevaluate the schedule. Yep. Like every time you get a summary of it, no, seriously. I I'm so excited. So Nyx only has a few more days of school left. Rayle already did preschool graduation. We have so much to talk about, but we did preschool graduation already. And I have to find a new schedule because I'm gonna have all my kids home, but then we have swim lessons. Nixon has like, we have summer camp things, like we have that is another weird thing about having kids home. Like they have all these summer activities that I'm getting texts from moms like, let's do summer play dates. I'm like, this is crazy. Like it's so weird when your kids have their own schedules too.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Yeah, I just the second I get a hang of a schedule, I get this like little like eerie, like here it goes. Just so you know, this can't be comfortable. This is gonna go away any second. No, I am the type of person where as soon as I feel comfort, I'm like, uh-oh. Oh no, something's coming.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Something's happening. Danielle's like frantically cleaning her house. Marco Poland the other day, and she's like, I'm scared this motivation's gonna go away. It did.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

It did. I am back to regularly scheduled depressive episodes. Now that I'm not hormonal anymore.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

My weird chaos train over here. You guys were literally. I was Marco polling Danielle the other night, and I was like, I have so much cleaning that I'm gonna get done, and I'm gonna do a dash of pink work. I cleaned, literally cleaned so hard that I could not walk. I was had to lay horizontally. I was so tired. You guys, this pregnancy, I'm so done. I love being pregnant. Kind of. I don't love being pregnant. I don't love being pregnant. I love the idea of being pregnant, and I love that I'm growing humanity. I'm grateful. Hate. I hate. And I've never experienced this much hatred towards how my body feels. I'm like, what the freaking thing?

SPEAKER_03 5:36

I hope I'm afraid when like Hayden and if I have any other girls are like, oh, but I want to be pregnant, and be like, hmm, it's such a beautiful. Because it is like it's it's like beautiful, but it feels like torture all the time.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

And you think like, like for me, the beginning was like morning sickness. I was like, as soon as I'm gonna be feeling like not puking eight times a day, literally, I'm gonna be good. And then I was like, oh boom, sciatic pain. Oh, you're not gonna have nerve damage issue things going on. Yeah. That's been fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Again, the second you feel comfortable. I literally have gone to my parents before. I'm like, hey, um, something's coming for you. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like, something's coming for you. We're we're comfortable. That's actually like, I can't remember. There was a little bit ago where I literally was sitting at my parents' house and I was like, hey, um, something's coming relationship-wise. And they're like, What do you mean? I'm like, we're too comfortable when it comes to relationships, which like, oh no, please no. I was like, we're too comfortable. And then my dad comes to me a couple weeks later. He's like, Yep, I was next. So thanks for that morning. I didn't think it was me, but like I had to basically cut off a relationship. Like, it was so tough. You know relationships, but like, he's like, Yep, I was next. So there's literally times where I'll go to my family and be like, Isn't something's coming?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

I hate that, and you can feel it. Riley and I actually So my I think I've talked about this. My twin sisters were on missions. They're home now. It was a success. It was a success. Okay, wait, well, should I talk about that right now? Or no? Say what you're gonna say, and then you can. Anyways, everyone, I was telling Riley, I'm like, my sisters are home for the summer. My brother's getting married at the end of summer. Like, there's so many like comings and goings. I'm like, I feel something is brewing. I don't know what it is. It's either like just the chaos of everything changing, or it's like, like, what's some something, something is brewing, and I don't know what it is. It's brewing. I'm like, either one of my younger siblings, because I have younger, younger siblings. I'm like, either one of my younger siblings is gonna throw us a big old curveball, or something like, I don't know, things are going too smoothly right now. I don't like it. Hopefully, it's not maybe I'm the curveball, because my life has quite literally been you know not my life, my body.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

I would confidently say that I am not comfortable right now.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

So No, I am not comfortable. Things rolling and going. Yes. I think maybe that's maybe that's it. Everything is comfortable besides me. You're like, I am the problem. Maybe I am the chaos. Maybe it's the I know I am problem hits me.

unknown 8:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

That's that song. Oh my gosh. And the problem hits me. Is it me? Is that the song? Is that the name of the song? I think so. By by Taylor Swift, right? I almost said Tacey Perry. Tacey Perry? Tacey Perry? Speaking of weird names, Tacey. That just isn't a weird name. It's just odd.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Oh, I was like, that's my sister-in-law's name.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

No, that's not a weird name. It's just not like very common. Common, right. I have been having this lurking, you have to name a child soon in the back of my head at all times. I naming a boy is so much harder for me.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

It's so much harder. Why?

SPEAKER_02 8:44

When we were coming up with boy names, it was like they're all like, they're all either like the older, like George Luke, like more classic, or they're like random. That's the thing about boy names, is I feel like it's either old man names or really weird, unique names. Yes. Like, I do, I don't hate the name Banks, but like Banks is huge right now. There's like massive so big right now, but it's only like toddler and under, like three and under. I feel like you don't see it very much. Yes. Yeah. I am having the hardest time with names. Literally. I have maybe two that I'm like, hmm, I could maybe. I did think of one yesterday, not last night, the night before, at like 3 a.m. And I was like, do I like that? Then I told Riley, and he's like, potentially, but like it would have to fit the child. Like that's the type of a name that has to fit a child. And I'm like, oh, not another one of those.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Do you want to know a name I saw on TikTok the other day? Yes. Kid you not. Wait, if I is it bad or a good name? I don't think it's good one. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

I was gonna say, if I'm gonna take it, we're gonna believe it. Yeah, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Brow gray. Like brow? Like I brow gray. Brow was the first name. Grey was the middle name. Brow? I d okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Brow. This is gonna sound really weird, but like as a mom, you have to yell to your child. Yeah. Like you have to be like, brow! Yeah, like brow.

unknown 10:06

Brow.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Browning. Like if they're gonna run to the road, you're like, brow. Brow! What do you mean? Yeah, like brow, gray?

SPEAKER_03 10:16

Brow gray.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

I mean, to each their own. I know I have names that are a little bit more out there or whatever, but like it feels like a celebrity name. You know, it does feel like a celebrity, like I I kind of liked the name West for a minute. And then I was like, that's very Kim Kardashian, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

But I'm like, names are so hard. Names are so hard.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

Well, and then you picture them as a baby, but then they're gonna be a grandpa one day. I was thinking yesterday, I'm like, Piper as a grandma doesn't really flow, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

Well, my other thing is that's so hard, is I have I have names that I like. Like, for example, I love the name Weyland.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

But there's the singer Weyland, and I don't want to spend my life having people say, Oh, did you listen to a lot of Wayland when you live up? Did you watch this show? Did you get this name off of this movie? I'm like, barf.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Okay, wait, this is funny because we were literally, we were playing cards with some of our friends. Have you ever played Cover Your Assets?

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Yes. We love that game right now. I love that. So we were playing Cover Your Assets, and they were like, Kate, let's talk baby names, as literally every conversation I feel like right now is like something about pregnancy. And they were like, What are you thinking? I'm like, I'm having a hard time with first names. Haven't even thought about mental names, but we always do a family tie. And Nixon is Nixon Riley after obviously Riley. Right. And I was like, Well, we could do like one of their papa's names, which is Justin or Brady. And I'm like, but Riley has Justin's name, and my brother has Brady. So I'm like, we don't want to copy all the names. And Riley's like, what about just JB? And I was like, do you realize if we did JB, how many people would be like, Justin Bieber lover? Like all that? Was it the Justin Bieber? No. I'm like, I don't think I could do it. And remember Riley's like Justin Bieber hair flip. No.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

He literally had hair that looks like Justin Bieber.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

And he'd flip it like Justin Bieber. He would flip it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

All the time.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

He'd come up with it.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

It was horrendous.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Like, hey Justin Bieber.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

It was actually horrendous. Like T.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

He has this picture on his personal Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

The kitten one. He's like, Are you kitten? And he literally looks like Justin Bieber and he has like this hair. We're going to pull it.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

We're going to pull it on the story. This girl's live to make fun of him.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Yeah, go on the Dash of Pink Instagram. It's going to be on the screenshot and it's going to say, Are you kitten?

SPEAKER_03 12:33

And you're only going to know. Yeah. When she goes to say, hey, this episode is up. It's actually going to be a picture of Riley. Go chat, GBT it so his shirt is pink.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

I'm so doing it. It's going to have Dasha Pink logo on it. You guys aren't ready. You're not ready. I'm making a note for it. Are you in photo? He's going to be so mad. Yeah, right. He thinks he looks so cool in that picture. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

I'm literally doing it.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

All right. You've had a big month. What's been happening?

SPEAKER_03 13:10

Hayden is one. Hayden's one. Hayden is one. We're gonna deep dive. Yeah, we're gonna deep. We're not gonna dive a whole ton into it. But like I, first off, when she was a week old, that was so hard. Like the day before she turned a week old was so hard.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Because like, how is your baby already a week old?

SPEAKER_03 13:29

I had the same emotion the night before she turned one. Really? Oh the night before they turn one is so hard.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Like laying them in their bed.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Oh my gosh. I would say her actual birthday wasn't too emotionally hard. It was more happy. The day before, though, was it's just like the lead. Like the day before Abby's birthday, I went up tomorrow and I was like, it's the saddest day. And she's like, it's the saddest day. But like I was just like so emotional. We watched her birth vlogs, which was the coolest thing, though. That's so fun. Like Ty and I were like, okay, this needs to be the tradition that like the day before all of our kids' birthdays, we watch the birth vlogs.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

That's so fun.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Because like, how freaking cool is that? That we can be like That's a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

That's a good tradition. Birthday Eve, go and watch it.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

Little birthday Eve family. Yes. Pop some popcorn, have like a little like, and if you watch the birth vlog, we have like clips of Addie like driving to come and see us. That's so cute.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Like Well, you almost watch everyone grow up, but from the perspective of your baby or like your kid. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

So it's like, can you imagine?

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Like no, that's no. I wish I had. I don't have to be a little bit of a few.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

It would be so cool. That's crazy. So that's like that was like emotional for me. Was a big thing emotionally for me was like the fact that watching the vlogs and realizing that we have everything we do because of our viewers. Like, yes, we'd probably do a birth vlog, but like every day after that, yes, we want to do daily vlogs for us, but also like if we didn't have the viewers that we do, we wouldn't have the motivation that we do. And it's like, oh, we missed a day, whatever, or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

It wouldn't be fine, it wouldn't be as yeah, synchronized.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yeah, and so I was really emotional about the support that we have, and I still get emotional about it because it's like we have all of these memories because there are people who are choosing to watch our videos every day and choosing to support us. So I was really emotional about that the day before her birthday.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

I think they get a watch her too, grow up. Like they're it's such a big part of her life, even though she doesn't understand it.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Yeah, so I was really emotional over just like the gratitude that I had for our viewers, for our editor, she's amazing. Um, and like all of that kind of stuff. So it kind of it's crazy that her birthday like opened my eyes to things that I'm thankful for outside of her. That is interesting. So I feel like that's a really cool thing, is she's teaching me to be more grateful almost. I love that try.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Like with just oh, the baby kicked me so hard.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

Oh, I do miss that.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

I do miss that. That's that was so fun. But I like tweaked and it was like at the same time. Hello, hello, brother. He's he's like, shut bam! You forgot about me. Oh, you're pregnant. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, it's pregnant. I love it. Let's Kate first birthday though. That one's the saddest, but also like, yeah, did you have the happy birthday when they're singing? Like you picture all these moments, or not really. That was the worst.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Well, I also made a video, which I sent it to you. I don't think I'm gonna post it because I'm like, it's just gonna be like hours and like like close family. But like that's intimate. That kind of just like replayed in my head over and over again because I was like, you like get a watch her just like each phase grow, and they change so much in the first year.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Like they go from this teeny tiny little newborn all the way up to like starting to talk and starting to like be not that they're not human before, but like be their own human.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

They're not a baby, they're like a person. I don't know, it's crazy because it's like you you're always told that before you have babies, but like you don't really know it until you experience it. And I hate saying that because I hated that when people said that when I was younger. But like, you don't know until you experience it, but like truly, there's so much about motherhood that you cannot understand because I don't think we as people are physically capable to understand unless you have that experience, and there are different situations, but like I really like Ty is always like, oh my gosh, I people would always say that it goes fast, but yeah, you don't realize how fast it goes until you're watching like your daughter like going from not able to move to rolling to crawling to like walking against furniture like in a matter of a year. Yeah, he's like, I didn't think I would feel like it's going this fast.

SPEAKER_02 17:43

It's so interesting. Well, even to tangent a little bit off of the motherhood aspect of that and like relating to kids, me as my kids get older, I'm like, oh, my mom sacrificed so much. Like, you know, like when you're in the newborn phase, you kind of know and like you realize, but like as your kids go through each phase, you're like, Oh, we we need to celebrate the mom too, because like this is so like a first birthday is so much more about the mom than it is like it's so interesting how you like almost put yourself in each mother's phase of life. Like my twin cousins are graduating high school this year, and I'm like, it's my aunt.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

I'm like, are you okay? I know, and that's just so weird. Like selfishly, there was a part of like her birthday at the end of the day where I was like going through text messages, and I had like maximum 10 text messages from people. And like, I think it was like you, Mara, my mom, my friend Kyla, and like maybe one other person or two who were like, Hey, like, this was your year too. And like, I kind of sat there and was like, Wow, okay, these are my people, and everyone else who says, Oh, I'm there for you, oh, let me know if you ever need this. Screw off, dude. Like, you were actually not there for me. And like, I that sounds so selfish, but like that is also another thing at motherhood is you see who's actually there for you. In a way, especially in the way of like your baby turning one. It's like, oh, so you wanted to see her when she was a week old, but now that she's a year old, no, you never want to come over, you never see her.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

You like well, and they're like, I want to hold her in their baby, like I wanna snuggle all these things. Please let me come and see you. Or even when you're pregnant. Like, yeah, I'm so excited to meet. Literally, meet the baby once and then and then never come over.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

Here it goes. Who are you? So I will say also that not in like a trying to be bratty way, like I always do, because I know I'm a bratty, you guys. But like this has been disgusting. Oh, yes, 100%. But also, like it did kind of open my eyes on her birthday to be like, okay, so we actually really only do have a relationship because you want my child, or like and that's a hard thing to grasp.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

It is like it's a hard thing because you do want people to love your kid, but also at the same time, it's kind of hard.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

But like you can't have a relationship with the child without a relationship with the parent. And so I was like, I was kind of like, oh, I thought that we were that. Like, I thought, okay, maybe not. Maybe 100%. Like, and I wasn't waiting the whole day for people to text, but when I started to see text from people like you, or it's like, wait, how do you like happy one year? I was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

And then I was like, Oh, you're like, wait, where well it's kind of hard because everyone is like, well, and it's the same when you have a baby, everyone comes to the hospital and they're like, most of the time, want to go say hi to the baby. And the when someone acknowledges you first is the mom to like make sure you're like, whoa. Like it's just one of those things that it catches you off guard once you notice it once. So then you're kind of just like thinking it. I'm sure you weren't like dwelling on it or anything, but it's it's kind of a reality check. It's like, oh, maybe I need to do a little checklist. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, my little circle has dwindled to be so small because I don't have the energy to be able to like be the friend that I need to be to like 45 different people. I don't have people do it. Like, I genuinely am not a good friend to the people that aren't. Like, right now I'm not a good friend, period. But like outside of my little bubble, it's hard to check in and be like, how are you doing? Like, hey, I know your kid just had this procedure done. Like, it's so hard to be there for 45 different people. Right. So I get it, but also at the same time, I'm like, don't tell me you're gonna be here for me if you're not going to.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

My hard thing, okay. I talk about the law.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

I'm buddy.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

This is a big thing in my life right now. My hard thing is trying to be there for the people that are saying, let me know when I can come over. You never you never text me, never, whatever. And then I look and see how many texts they send and how many times they invite us over versus expecting us to come over. There's a difference, and like the amount of effort that goes in. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So you want me to be the one reaching out, to be the one, but where are you? You know, and it's I um 100%. I know that I'm guilty of that. And so I've tried to change my mindset more of like when I am with a friend, I'm like, hey, like I'll stop him and be like, hey, listen, I'm the worst at texting, I'm the worst at calling. I'm like, but please, if you ever need anything, and I'm not talking about come and hold my baby, I'm talking if you need someone to talk to, if you need someone to come and help you make dinner because you actually can't, like, please let me know. And also, I'm gonna be reaching out as much as I possibly can. But like just because I'm not reaching out doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you. Because I also think if those people had that conversation with me, it'd be different, but there's not that conversation, it's just let me know whenever I can come over.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

And it's like, oh my gosh, I kind of hate that phrase. I I hate the let me know when unless you let me know when you need different, but it's different. That's what's tricky about that phrase, though, because from certain people, you know that you can call them and they would drop whatever they needed to be there. Like, like it's I feel like that's one of those phrases that's I don't maybe like a polite thing to say. Like, it's just one of those things that people say, like, okay, let me know. But like, I almost don't want people to say it unless they are. Because right now, like, I hate complaining. I have truly had the worst few months. Like, it's been so bad. I literally like can't walk at the end of the night, like it's a whole thing. I've been in so much pain. There have been, I can count on one hand the amount of people that have actually been like, hey, what do you need? Like, can I come help you? Do you need me to take the kids? I've been the worst at like, but like also like what you've right, you're you're my mental soundboard right now. Like, we just bounce. You can't come do anything, but like, I know, but I feel like I should be able to be doing more for you.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Like from your distance.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

You're so fine. You're you just feel needs. Like, you're good.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

I feel bad for my own needs as a friend. Like, you're fine.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

I feel so bad. We live so far away. You're fine. I know, it makes me sad. I'm not guilt tripping anyone right now. No! I'm just saying, like, it's been interesting because I've really had to realize like, I don't really have a whole ton of people. I have my friends that I know, I also have a few moms that I'd like, how are we doing this? Like, we're just surviving because we're in similar phases. But like the people that are like, can I just come get your kids for a minute? I've literally only my mom. Literally, like no one. And I'm like, not saying that I expect that, but like it's interesting because I'm like, I feel like if someone was struggling, I'll go drop a meal off. Like, I'll do something just to like pay attention.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Oh, let me know when you're so depressed that you can't get off the couch to make you a meal. Like, I already know you're in a vulnerable place. You're not gonna come to someone who you're not like I'm not gonna look at someone who I know doesn't feel that vulnerable connection with me and say, Yes, oh, let me know. It's like you said it one time, and I think about this all the time.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

The Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

Oh, let me know if you ever need anything. I'm not gonna call you. I'm not gonna be having a panic attack on the closet floor and be like, oh wait, this person said, Let me know whenever you need anything.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

I'm gonna call them.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Like, there's no way that's gonna happen. But then there's my mom who says, Um, I notice that something's off. Yes, you notice over.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Well, that's even like our friends, we have our kids are very similar ages, and we literally will just like, hey, this week's been hard. Do you guys just wanna like hang out? We can let the kids run around. I'm like, even that, without them even being like, What do you need? Like, please. Like, that's even helpful just to like.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Well, I just feel like framing it differently is like a huge thing. Like, for example, my grandma is like putting in so much effort right now, and I appreciate it so much, and I don't think I'm telling her enough. But she comes over like once every couple weeks. That's so nice. And I'm like, here's my other thing is we have people in our life that we keep telling, like, it's like the effort thing. And I think if we were to say you're not putting in effort like this person, they'd be like, Well, this person is only over this many times, and we have whatever. And it's like it's not about quality, it's about quantity, like that type of thing. I get exactly what you're saying. But anyway, my grandma, she will say stuff like, let me know when I can come over, but she doesn't wait for that. She'll text and say, Hey, I'm free these days. Can I come over one of these days? If not, let me know what days work. And it's because she's figured out, she's like, Okay, how to frame it. Right. And I'm like, I appreciate that so much because she's taken the time to say, okay, I understand where Danielle's coming from. I see what I hear what she's saying. So therefore, whenever I have free time and I think about her, I'm just gonna text her and throw it out there. That's what I need as a parent. I don't overhear saying, let me know.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

I'm gonna sit and wait twiddling my thumbs until you let me know. 100%. The thing that I'm also having a hard time with is when people do like want help, it's this is gonna sound so mean. I don't mean this this way, but it's like it's on their time. They're like, I only have this time available. What do you need from me in this time? And if we're not, if we're busy, then they're like, well, darn. Like, shoot, not even like a like a hey, I want to come see your kids. This is a frequent thing. I want to come see your kids. If we can't make that work, because our schedule is literally planned like weeks in advance, then it's like, oh, they never let me come see the kids. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't do a night before. I can't even do like four days.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

I can't even do four days before right now. Like, I truly cannot. How hard is it for someone to say, oh, I found out about this event two weeks ago? Yes. I'm gonna let you know as soon as I find out if I'm expecting you to be there, instead of, oh, um, I am gonna tell you the night before and be triggered when you don't come. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

However, I know I am guilty of this with a few. I am totally because I forgot to let I can't remember what it was. Rayla's dance recital. Like, there were a few things that have slipped lately that it was like, all right, this is like two days before. Just so you know, you're invited. Like, I want you to know, please feel like you can come, but do not think you're expected because I am so last minute. Yeah. But then it's hard to because okay, what are your thoughts on this? We're very random.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Wait, wait, can I hold on really fast? Sorry, I'm gonna just like before I forget about this, one thing that Ty and I have been doing that maybe is rude. I'm ready. Um, with the people that invite last minute, we've not with just those people, with just that kind of people. With any just people in general, we're just trying to meet people with the same energy. Yeah. And so if people invite us last minute to things, we've started to also invite those people last minute to things. Because we're like, if you get triggered, you have to see where we're coming from. Yeah. So, like with those same people that we've told, you can't just let us know last minute we've been telling like the night before or the day of, because it's like, if you can't come, darn.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Like, yeah, like it's the same. Taste of your own medicine vibes. I like that. That's totally different. Just a little petty thing. You know what? Yeah, but sometimes everyone needs a little taste of their own medicine. I actually have a funny story that I have to tell you. Well, very, very much linked into this. Don't let me forget. You it's hilarious. Sorry. Okay, so wait, what was I? Oh I'm so sorry. I knew I was gonna forget. No, it wasn't. It was so funny. I can't remember what I was doing. You were talking about like dance recital, like Oh, I'm just really bad at keeping people updated on things right now. Oh no, no, no. What I have been doing. Okay, this is it. Okay. This isn't me. This is a random scenario. This happened to us. So if say, say there's like some big event type thing that's very loosely scheduled. So say, hold on, I'm like really trying to think of a scenario that I can like kind of shift it. All right, all right. When is Savannah going to college? Like, say Savannah goes to college and she's like, hey, I'm gonna need help moving these days. She says this months in advance, and you're like, okay, like, yeah, let me know when like no plan, just hey, can you help me just so you know I'm moving around this time? Wouldn't you think that they should be like, hey, like just as it gets a little closer, hey, here's the days, here's the days. I I'm planning on moving, like I'm planning on, or even if it's a baby shower, hey, I need your help for a baby shower. Can you come help me set up tables? It's in a month. Yes, and if and then as it gets closer, it would be like a hey, we're planning on doing them this day. How much in advance would you kind of expect that? Like, you know what I mean? Like if someone's like I need or like times probably the specific dates. If it was like a hey, can you help me set up tables for a party? We don't know the exact date yet.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

I would say at very least a week.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

I would prefer. So, so do you feel like if you didn't, if someone didn't like check in and be like, hey, you said they called the night before. You said you could help me set up tables. Like someone's wedding?

unknown 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Like forgetting to give someone information about someone's wedding? Yes, you said you were gonna help me set up tables for this baby shower. It's literally the night before, and I need you there all day long. Do you feel like they have a right to be mad? No!

SPEAKER_03 31:18

Screw off! I like to someone's wedding and they expect you to be a woman. No, holding don't tell you when?

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Yes, like something that's gonna take an extended amount of time. No, we had an experience with that.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Like, hold on, hold on, sorry. I'm actually gonna like step away from the drama for a second. So, like, hold on. Let me get this straight. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

So drama for a second.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

I can take things to I have to like I have two brains. I have my logical side and I have my drama side for a while. Which one are we going into? Logic? I'm gonna step into logic. Okay, we're here. Because I will take things. I just barely was in drama. Okay, so someone says baby shower. For me, okay. Hayden's birthday is gonna be around this time, two months ago. Yeah, right? Yeah. Can you help me set up for this? I want a balloon arch. Yes. Okay. Exactly. Says nothing night before. Hey, balloon arch or not night before? Yes. Okay, night before. Balloon arch tomorrow. And then I call you at 8 a.m. Why isn't there a balloon arch on my house right now?

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Literally.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Like that? Yes, that type of stuff. And you're asking you how if you have a right to be upset. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

Okay. So here's here's the thing though. Now, since that happened, what like how do you go about letting that person know that like maybe we should have handled that differently? Or do you? Or do you just take mental note? That's where I'm at. Who is this kind of person? Um, a close enough family, family friend person. So like not Savannah to me. More like not a no. I feel like Savannah to you is very different. I feel like Yes, Savannah to me is very close. Or McKinley.

unknown 32:55

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

This is McKinley.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Okay, so is this like like like Ty's aunt or like my aunt level of close? Hold on, that's not fair because to me. That's not fair because I don't have a lot of okay. Um you don't have a lot of relationships. Actually, no, I do. I a lot of relationships. No, I actually do.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

So like we're squeaking this bit. Yay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

Okay, so like my aunt to me or like Ty's aunt to me. Um I would say like one of your aunts to you. One of my aunts? Um, like ants that I see at like every birthday party or ants that I see at like once a year. Maybe like ants Utah County.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

Well, maybe like your mom's sisters. I don't know. That see, that doesn't really matter. Even even the relationship doesn't matter. It's more like how would you like you don't have enough room to be like, like I feel like it was so they were expecting more time from our family, not necessarily me specifically. So it was almost like we needed the whole family to show up to something. Okay, so that's a lot different of a situation because it's not an individual. Like you're expecting an entire group. No, it was like the whole, like it had to be like five different people's in this May, in this May. In this May. In this May? In this May.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

Hold on. It doesn't have to readjust. In this May. This May? In this May, okay, okay. So this this person in this May, again, Blue Narch. In this May. Yes. Not only did I want you to bring in balloon arch, but I wanted Nixon and Rayla and Piper and Riley also carrying in and setting up the colour.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Also, like all of the all of the things, whether that was stated that that needed done, or it was like, I need your family. This. So you are like 100% validated to be triggered. Okay, first off.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

So what do you, but what how do you like is this a person that you want to communicate with or no?

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

Hold on. Point the mics away. Turn your head. Who is it?

SPEAKER_00 35:18

You know.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

You can take some guesses. I'm sure you can guess. Okay, okay, I do know.

SPEAKER_03 35:28

Literally. Screw them. Suck a toe.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

Suck a toe. I'm still not already. Here's the problem, though. I know, I know that life gets so busy because I'm a chaos ball right now. But that's another problem. That's the other problem. Is it's like, you know that so many people have other lives too. The expectation of, hey, I needed you this day, but now I'm going to be mad. So this person's openly triggered about it. Well, they're they were frustrated. And so so when they reached out, I was like, you know, this person. Yeah. But I was like, you know what? We have such and such activities. These have been planned for nearly a year. We cannot adjust this. This is what we can do. And then because of the timing of everything, nothing was able to happen when they we were ready to go. Okay. Like we were ready to help, and they were like, we're not ready to help. And then they were frustrated there wasn't help. So it was kind of like, I know they're frustrated with us, but I'm like, here's the problem. If you're not going to call me five days before, even make not even a week. Or just be like, hey, were you still planning on helping with that balloon arch? It was just kind of like expected to remember. Hey, what time should I be there with the balloon arch? Like, it wasn't even like on the radar that that was expected of us. And then I feel like then they were frustrated. That's kind of where I'm having a hard time. Is it's like, I understand, like if I knew, but like it was planned so many months ago that, like, seriously, it would be like Savannah going off to college. She's like, hey, I need you to help me move. And then she doesn't say like a date or anything until then. You're gonna be like, like, yeah, you know that that's coming up, but she hasn't said anything to you.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

So with this person who is emotionally irresponsible, extremely irresponsible, um, extremely immature. Yeah. Are you wanting to fix this or are you just like, how do I go about this?

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Because I think it's more just like I don't know if I need to disconnect and just be like, I don't care if you're mad, that's kind of on you, type of a thing.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Or do like there could be a text of like for future reference of like, hey, look, about the situation with the balloon arch. You can't expect my entire family to show up to something if there is not a clear schedule. Here's what you told me. Yeah. There was nothing further past that. So I cannot orchestrate my entire family around your non-existent schedule. 100%. Poor future reference. We want to be there to help you. Here's this. Yeah. Poor future reference. Screw it off. Leave me alone. Lose this number. 12 business days before I can do anything. Honestly, with that person, I would say you don't have to say anything that's gonna go in one ear and out the other because they are ignorant.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

It's been, it's, and I mean, here's the problem. I know that I am really bad lately at being like, hey, like the dance recital thing. Hey, was not a drama again.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

I need to step out again. Step back into logic for me. Step back into logic. I'm calling names at this point.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

I am so done. Like the planning of everyone's schedule. I have you seen okay, there's the mom of picture, it's like a diagram, picture of a mom sitting in a labor bed, and it's like almost like the brain, you can like see the outline of her brain like outlined, and then there's everyone in the room, and there's like connectors of like her thinking about everyone in the room, and like kind of like where everyone else is thinking. I feel like most of the time my connectors are trying to reach everyone else. I don't know if anyone is ever like thinking about you. Is anyone like is that so selfish of me to say?

SPEAKER_03 39:17

No, I get that. I've had my group of people that I'm like, I can feel the connectors, but then there's also people who are like, oh hey, I'm gonna reach out like once and expect you to have your connectors on me all the time.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

But then I'm like, is there a world in which this might sound so weird, but is there a world in which I'm so freaking delusional that I just don't see it? You know what I mean all the time.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

Do you know how many times? I had a conversation with Ty about this the other day. Do you know how many times I've gone online and taken the am I a narcissist test? And Ty literally said, honey, a narcissist would never take that test. A narcissist would never take the test. And I was like, but what if I'm just manipulating the system? And he's like, Yes. A narcissist doesn't think about whether or not they're manipulating a test.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Do you want to, do you want to hear my little hot take about narcissism, though? I feel like everyone has a little narcissistic, but like a full-blown narcissist would never in a million years be like, oh, am I in the wrong here?

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Like, I just what if I just took the test? So I want someone to tell me that I would never take the test if I was a narcissist.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Oh now you're getting psycho. Psycho dot.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Jeez. You know what? It's called fear. I'm afraid. There are a lot of things I've been thinking about lately of like my bratdiness. And I'm like, like I'm like, I've been thinking about the fact that my entire life, every time I called someone my best friend, it ended in flame. So I'm like terrified to have like a best friend now. And I'm like, am I the problem? Yeah, I'm like, I'm the problem because I all my best friends, not for the fact they have been, they've been crappy freaking people.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

And like there's that's the thing. Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

Pause. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Best friends is so like your your phase of life and like what you need in that moment changes, and like you grow as a person and they grow as a person. So you guys were best friends in a phase of life, but like you guys grow up and maybe they're not the best fit anymore. But like, that's so much more common. I feel like it's so much less common for someone to be like, This is my best friend in first grade, and like have that same best friend for years and years and years. So, like, nothing but like I'll get with it.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

I just think I would like have a friend and be like, okay, they could be my best friend now because I don't have a best friend. And like I always like based my worth and value. Kind of, but like I always based my like worth and value off of whether or not I could have a best friend. Because I was like, everybody has in my head, I was like, everybody has a best friend. Yeah, I'm broken because I don't have a best friend, and so I was like, this person could be my best friend, and then they were the worst person ever.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

See, I've had to kind of shift my mindset to be like, I have so many different people that fit different needs, yeah. That's kind of where I'm at. Like, you have a very different role than like my friend that has kids that are my exact same age, and right your mom has a very different role than like Mara has a role in my life. Like it's very like, I feel like I've had to kind of decipher like there's not gonna be one person that is like my soulmate because that's Riley. Like, Riley is the one that kind of fills all those little holes, but there's some things that you can mentally handle that Riley can't. So, like it's different, it's so hard. It's really my best friend.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

I had one best friend that like didn't end in flames, but we just like grew apart type thing. So, like that one is like weird, near and dear to my heart, whatever. I'm like, no, I I needed him when we were younger, like whatever. But then, like, I don't know. I think every female best friend that I've had sucks. Females are just weird. Females are so weird. Actually, I have one best friend that like is my favorite person ever, but like, I don't think I could say that like she's my one and only best friend because I'd be afraid of I don't think I could. I but she is one of my best friends. I don't have a best friend now. I have one of my best friends.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

I have exactly best friends. You have multiple people that fit different things. This is going all over the place. This is supposed to be a life update, and we just drum it up. We might need to cut like that whole section of me trying to explain that scenario because it was so drawn out. We really might need to lose. I loved it. Okay, it is holy cow, wait.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

Wait, but I feel like you're gonna say something else. I don't remember. And I interrupted with the best friend thing.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Oh I feel like I'm very interrupted. We haven't done this in a minute. I don't remember what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

I think the problem is we have not been like actually real life talking because we've been so busy.

SPEAKER_02 43:42

You guys, it's kind of been crazy. Welcome to our Marco Polo's sisters came home from their mission. Should we talk about that for a minute? Okay, so my two sisters, one was in Sendai, Japan, and the other was in the Adriatic North mission, which is like Slovenia, Croatia, like all of the place, Bosnia. I was like, was that a right? Was that a real place? Don't know. Okay. Anyways, really cool. Really cool. Um, they came home from their missions, and for literal, since like October, I have known that they wanted to come home on the same day. Oh my gosh, literally, they wanted to, they didn't want so I told Riley, obviously, of course, no one else to know that they were coming home the same day. So Alexa was supposed to get home Wednesday and Aaliyah was supposed to get home some Saturday. And there was so much planning that went into it. Like, so much. So we had to AI make a fake ticket because obviously my mom wants to know the exact flight so that she can like plan everything, plan the thing. So we had to like find a flight. We one of her friends was coming home. Aaliyah's friends was coming home Saturday. So we're like, let's find a flight, say that's the day you're coming home. We had to AI change the name on the ticket to send it to my mom. We had to have everyone else in on it on like the back end of the missionaries. It was crazy, but no one knew at home, and we totally pulled it off. However, everyone missed the moment. I was gonna say, I saw I missed the moment, the videographer missed the moment. Oh my gosh, the video longer. I just missed the moment. Yes. There was a slight miscommunication. Alexa takes off running, and I'm like, no, don't run.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

So she goes running.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

And they like cutest moment ever. Like, I will never forget it. It's ingrained in my brain, but like, we don't have any. So, like, do you think we could get airport footage? I doubt it. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna pull the logical brain here. Like, I know. I'm like, we can ask, but I doubt it. I could ask. I it was seriously crazy. The way that no one even expected it was no one expected it. No one had a clue. Really? Everyone was like, what? And it was so funny to kind of watch my mom because Alexa came home first because we knew she was coming home. And she came home and everyone was kind of celebrating, and Alexa like whispered in my ear, like, where is she? And Aaliy was just upstairs. Like, she had been up there the whole time. We were just waiting. Seriously. My dad was taking my kids on the escalator up and down, up and down. And I literally texted Aliyah and I'm like, You have got to stay away from the escalator. Like, go in the corner. I was just waiting for him to go, like, one of my kids to take off running. And like, oh, I was literally so stressed the whole time. But she they did it, they pulled it off, and it was wild. Like, yeah, everyone was crying. Like, there was not a dry eye. We shocked everyone. It was so crazy. It was so fun. So my mom runs to the twins. Okay, this is what happened. Alexa goes running to Aaliyah, and Aaliyah's like arms out. All well, everyone kind of watches Alexa run because the eyes are on her. My brother and my dad go sprinting and basically almost beat because they kind of realized. Well, all of a sudden you see my dad like throw his hands up and he's like, Mom first, mom first, mom first. Like this man was trained. And Brayden's like, oh my gosh. So Brayden's like crying. My mom gets there and she kind of stopped like right before her. Like it's almost kind of like she was like, wait a minute. And as soon as she hugged her, you like watch her body like go limp a little bit. It's almost like she like passed out into her arms and she like came too. My mom like couldn't, like everyone was having a hard time like grasping it was real. It was the most bizarre thing. Like watching people's faces, they were like, That's so what? Like everyone was shocked. It was so fun. Even our kids didn't know, which was the hard one.

SPEAKER_03 47:31

I was gonna say, did they know?

SPEAKER_02 47:32

So Piper thinks that she knew because they were coming home the same day. Like she was convinced. Like it was Alia and Alexa coming home, but no, they didn't know because Nixon was like, You guys know you knew before Christmas. I was like, Yeah, you're like so. We had to use code words, we had to be like the kids are in the car, like we have to be careful. But it was so fun. This is the best, and their home coming was yesterday. And it was so cool to hear them talk. Like, I knew that they were speaking these languages, and I hear their videos, and like I've heard it in person, like hearing, I don't remember which like Alexa knew like seven different languages, maybe four. And I don't know which one she spoke for her testimony at the end, but it's a little bit more like harsh, and Aaliyah's obviously speaking Japanese, and it's like it was just so fun to watch them in person, like just have this whole different experience of something that I've never experienced. It was really cool. That's so crazy. And they're Aliyah, so Leah's in Japan, and they like bow. She keeps bowing to everyone. Like, it's so fun to like watch them, they're so immersed in it. Like, I went to go leave and I was like, but I love you, I'll call you tomorrow. And Leah's like, Thank you for all your help. And I was like, I got a bathroom. I win. I win. It was so fun, and like she was getting like their plaques, how they like hand them to them and their pictures on it, and she like totally bowed. And they're just like so polite and so kind. Like, yeah, they're just different humans than when they left. It's so weird. It's like that's they're the same, but like there's just like this part of them that you don't like the post-missionaries.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Yes, yes. So did you gonna go back to being a jerk other than like the jerk face brother that was fun?

SPEAKER_02 49:10

Well, see, I didn't I didn't have that. They were always so kind and respectful, but it's more just like Bryson wasn't actually a jerk, but I wanted him to tease me again. Yes, you wanted him to be your brother, like just like the light-hearted fun. I know it was hilarious. I'm gonna out Alexa a little bit. She they had their homecoming talk, and they're like released or whatever. And some elders that were in her mission came, and I like the went to go hug her goodbye, and she came running in, and she was like, She's like, that was so weird hugging the elder missionaries because she's like, hugging a bunch of things. She's like, You're all so weird. No, like you can't even pick up a baby, like you can't, like the rules are so strict. So that was hilarious. I was just dying. I'm like, this is so fun to like watch them re-immerse into the culture, but it's like a shock, like they're kind of like shocked. It's such an interesting thing. That's fun. They did so good. I'm proud of them. That's so fun. I don't think I could do it.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

Actually, I know that I could not.

SPEAKER_02 50:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

There's no, I I literally told my mom, she was like, when I was younger, she wasn't like pushing me, but she's like, Are you gonna go on a mission? I said, Do you want me to die? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

She's like, What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 50:12

I'm like, I would either die or I would go missing because I wouldn't be done.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

That's so interesting because I never was like, I feel like a mission was never even a question for me. Like, I just never wanted to go.

SPEAKER_03 50:21

It was just like absolutely not for me.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Really? So my sisters, like Alexa and her talk, she's like, I knew since I was like eight years old that I wanted to go. And I was like, that's so interesting because I genuinely was like, never mind.

SPEAKER_03 50:30

The second I realized it wasn't required, I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

That's so I always thought it was like required when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

That's so interesting. But maybe that's because my well, my dad didn't surf either.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 50:42

So maybe it was just because I was like, either of my parents went. I mean, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 50:46

Yeah. Yeah. They were a little too uh.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

They were a little preoccupied with children. Yes. Because yeah, how old was were they when Allie was born?

SPEAKER_03 50:57

Younger than me now or my age now? 28.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

No, because they had Branson young, young. So 21.

SPEAKER_03 51:04

20 or 20. I think they got pregnant at 20. That's crazy. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they're a little off. Well, they're three years apart.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

Oh, they're three years apart? Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know they were three years apart.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

Branson and Allie are three years apart. I kind of thought they were closer to three. Me and Allie, it goes all the way till Savannah Lizzie, and Savannah and Lizzie are 20.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

I kind of forget that. For some reason, I thought it was a closer age gap. That makes total sense now.

SPEAKER_03 51:35

I think they're 23 months apart.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

That's crazy. 22, 20.

SPEAKER_03 51:39

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:40

That's so crazy. Anyways, that's wild. What were we talking about when we had this game? About wedding planning? Or party planning? I saw this video. One of the girls that I went to high school with, she was on my cheer team. She just got married this last weekend, and she had this cake. Like this big old circle cake. Massive. Massive. Like one layer though. One layer. Like just like a like almost like a white cake, like super pretty. And then on top of it had like all the pretty berries on it, like almost like a triple berry blend. And then there's like powdered sugar sugar in it. How they served it was getting cups, and everyone just like took a little serving. Genius. Yeah. Like so genius. And I was telling Danielle, I was like, I want to host all the parties. Like, I want to plan, I want to direct. We've decided, but we don't want to be the face of them.

SPEAKER_03 52:26

So um, I actually am going to start a party planning company when I have my life a little bit more figured out. That's my plan. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna wait till I'm done having babies or Allie wants me to plan her wedding. Oh, yes. Start somewhere. Right. So I'm gonna plan it and then we'll hire someone the day of to like set up and everything. Oh, for sure. So like everything before.

SPEAKER_02 52:45

Like in a day of event.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:47

Coordinator.

SPEAKER_03 52:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

That's so fun. I I like I even want to throw just like an extravagant baby shower. Like, if anyone, like I just really need to do that. I love stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 52:58

I love planning show. I love it. I don't as much love the having to talk to people, but yeah, the social of it. The social of it.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

See, but it's like the seeing it all come together, like making like the decorations match the food, like pulling a theme, like the vibes. Like, oh, so fun. So fun. Do we have more life updates? I know we're missing a lot.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

We are missing a lot, but I don't know. I feel like maybe this was a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

This is a good thought. We need to talk about Hayden's birthday next episode, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

Yeah, we're gonna do that in a different episode. A different episode?

SPEAKER_02 53:33

Yeah, we are. We're gonna do a full deep dive.

SPEAKER_03 53:35

We didn't even really talk about your pregnancy stuff. Or do you need to like talk about pregnancy stuff?

SPEAKER_02 53:41

We had we talked about a little bit. We talked a little bit about it. Basically, I have been having nerve pain, which has been so fun. Like shooting fun. No, no, you guys, it's so bad. It's like, so it's my sciatic, but it's also like other nerves. I don't even know how to explain it. Like, I sit one way and nerves like shoot down my legs and like up like all the areas. Like it's it sounds miserable. It's so bad. Like, so usually, like when I'm standing on my feet and going, like I feel the heaviness. If you've been pregnant before, like, and it's worse with the more kids you have. I don't know if you experience did you experience heaviness?

SPEAKER_03 54:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Yeah. Like towards the end.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

So like you experience that more earlier on with each kid that you have. And you feel it a little bit after you have a baby when you're on your period, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. It's so weird. It's like this weird heaviness. Like it's just like this lower.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

You can feel how extra your uterus weighs. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

It's like this dull weight, just kind of like. This I just had a thought that I have to say it because it came to my head. You know, when like men are like like heavy balls, like that. I feel like that's the thought.

SPEAKER_03 54:46

I feel like it's that. It feels like you're on the verge of like a prolapse.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

No, seriously.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

You're like, it's gonna be like Is my uterus going to fall out? And like sometimes without giving it out.

SPEAKER_02 54:55

It's gonna fall out. Yeah. So that has been happening since about 14 weeks, which is fine. The issue that I'm having now, because that's a little bit normal, like you can you can figure that out. And that's what I experience when I'm standing up. But as soon as sometimes the nerves will shoot when I'm standing, but if I like if I move anywhere from like a more laying down angle, they start firing in all these different directions, and I like can't get comfy.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

It's it's so bad.

SPEAKER_02 55:19

But the more I stay on my feet, the worse my body like starts feeling. So then I can't walk and it starts like cutting off. Oh, it's been it's been fun. So there's been many a night that Riley literally has like helped me up the stairs to bed. It's this whole Oh my god, it's this weirdest thing because I'm like, I've never experienced my body not being able to be capable to do things. It makes me so grateful, but also I'm not gonna be able to do it. It's probably so mentally like yes, it's it's very frustrating, and it's hard because I want to like go run around with the kids outside and like do all these things, and I can't always, I have to be very particular about like what I'm doing in a day. Yeah, especially when I'm on my feet, or else then it's game over. So I went to the doctor, we had our anatomy scan, baby is all healthy. Yay! Yay! I'm so excited. He he was so cute, except for I have an anterior placenta. I don't know, I don't know what it is. And I guess that means like they kind of like snuggle up to your placenta a little bit more, and he kept having his hands over his face, so we couldn't really get like very good profile shots. But the little um ultrasound tech was saying she's like theory shows, and like if her like things are correct, everyone that she's talked to that has an anti-procenta, they love like having things on their face and cuddling and stuff. And I'm like, please, like, give me the snugly cuddly baby for my glasses.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

How Hayden, in all of like the ultrasounds we got, her face was always squished up because the nurses were always like, she just is cuddling right up against like the uterine wall like she is like cuddling, like she would hold on to the umbilical cord sometimes. No, like you're like, don't do that. I know I'm like, but she was like a snuggler, and she is a snuggler and I love it. Are you going to do the 3D?

SPEAKER_02 57:00

I haven't really thought about it. I've never done one, really. Okay, but doesn't the baby have to be like in the right position in order for that to be worth it? Because shh, I almost said she. He has not been very like picture friendly. That's how Hayden was though. And it worked? I think I might. Like, I think I'd consider it. There's one in Salem that's close to my house.

SPEAKER_03 57:23

Is it kicks and giggles?

SPEAKER_02 57:25

Not kicks and giggles. I think there's a kicks and giggles in Oram. But like that's like everything from us is like 20, 30 minutes. So I'm like, okay, we'll see. I don't know. Should I do it? Yes. Have they they're weird now? Some of the ultrasounds are insanely like you can see so many things.

SPEAKER_03 57:42

Yeah, well, it's like you can see flow, you can see like all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 57:46

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

It's crazy to think about. Like, my mom's always like, Yeah, we got like one ultrasound.

SPEAKER_02 57:52

I know literally. It's like that's how much it's changed and just I even between my kids, Nixon's almost eight, like everything's been so different. Well, like this pregnancy, they don't let you hear the heartbeat anymore until 14 weeks. They only let you see it through ultrasound, they only let you see it because it's different waves that affect like nine weeks. They just recently changed it.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

Really?

SPEAKER_02 58:15

Like, this is the first time. So, like, I had two ultrasounds seeing the heartbeat because you can kind of see it and you can they can track the waves, but not hearing it until the third. Isn't that nuts? I didn't hear the baby's heartbeat.

SPEAKER_03 58:28

So you didn't like the in-between like appointments with like the Doppler?

SPEAKER_02 58:33

We didn't my doctor didn't do a Doppler, but you can hear it, I'm sure, with the Doppler.

SPEAKER_03 58:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

But I didn't hear it like through because we always just did the ultrasound ones, but kind of nuts. I'm excited. Zero boy names. Have bought only a couple outfits. Other than that, nothing. We're not ready. Really? We're nowhere.

unknown 58:52

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 58:52

It's fine. We got lots of baby prep coming. So a little bit of time. I have a little bit of a little bit of busy mode. Four weeks today. That's crazy. I know, but I've also just been like so. I feel like now that summer's approaching, we'll do more to prep. Yeah. Kind of get nesting mode.

SPEAKER_03 59:10

Yeah, you'll get you'll get nesting and then you'll get it.

SPEAKER_02 59:12

I've been nesting more. I want to rip this whole house down and rearrange everything. You can walk. Oh, that's a problem. Gosh. That's you have to get one of those old man things like the stairs. And like, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Like drive it up. No, I think I'm just gonna have to be very intentional with my time. Yeah. Because it doesn't seem like this is going away. But the doctor did say because I was like, Maybe you can start seeing a chiropractor, it'll help. Yes, that's what he said. He's like, we're gonna take you to the chiropractor a few times. Doctor said that's the only thing that's gonna help with nerves. So hopefully sucks. The more times I see him, the like better my body will adjust, and then I'll have to see him live.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

Getting adjusted scarce. I know.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

But I'm scared to do it being pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 59:51

It's scared. I wouldn't do it pregnant unless I had to. No, but my father-in-law kept offering, and I was like, nope, nope, nope. And then people were like, Oh, you're you can get your baby adjusted, and I was like, oh, each no, I'm not doing that unless she needs it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

This might be psycho, but I've if my baby's fussy, I will totally have that. I think well it would be scary, but I've seen, have you seen those ones that they're like freaking out? And then they like adjust the baby and then they like calm down. I'm like, hmm, that's so weird. But they're scary, chiropractors scare me like the snap crack a pop. So if I basically come in not being able to walk. Well, I've been wrecked from a chiropractor before. That's what messed up my hip in the first place. But I almost kind of think my body's reverted back to how that was because I got it fixed, and then like, you know, pregnancy, relaxing hormone.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

All things. Anyhow, we'll talk more about it another time. Send send baby name ideas because we have nothing. Do you like the baby name generator? Baby name generator. Hi, N Y S. Chat GPT. I said, these are my kids' names. What names go with them? And like, I hate every single one that you suggest. Wait, what did they suggest though? Um, I'm trying to think. Okay, they suggested crew, which is my brother's name. Okay. They suggested Haze. Um I don't see you having a haze. I don't have a haze. See, they were just like different, like almost like Cove, which was a more of a boy one. Coast. I'm trying to remember. Which they're not terrible names. They're just not names that I would have. They don't fit me. They don't fit. Because I feel like I need to have it fit. Nixon, Rayla, Piper. I'll tell you a few of the names that we can't have in mind because this is my last one. Not on this. Not here. We'll beep it out. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah. No, I can't name my kids till I see them. So you guys are gonna have to wait a hot minute. Sorry. This has been fun. We have to chat more on different episodes. We love you. Always remember that you are worth it. Love you. Bye! Get out of here, series.