Let’s CHAT: Religion, Relationships, and INSECURITY?? Are you ALONE in THIS? | Dash of Pink #55

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hey Besties I know is it me? It's me! McKinley, I'm never going to get it. I am never gonna get it. I'm Danielle. I give up. This is me giving up. I'm Daniel. This is me giving up. I'm Danielle. McKinley's over there. This is Daniel's way.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Listen, I keep pulling our sweatshirt over my stomach. And it keeps like inching up. So I'm sorry. You guys can't. Baby's like keeping Tom.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

The baby's like, hello. I love it. I love it. We are virtual. Again. We're virtual, but we're gonna keep doing virtual. Not for not every episode, but um, we're actually McKinley's gonna get a setup here in a second because this episode's gonna come out close to it. But the 4th of July is coming, and I will be in McKinley's area for the 4th of July. So we're gonna bring some set to her. What are your plans for the 4th of July?

SPEAKER_01 1:12

You don't know yet. We're kind of up in the air because I could be going to like a fun little event thing, or we could be in Lake Pow. So I will be doing something. I just don't know exactly what yet. It's in the air. I gotta get it figured out, Lou, because it's like it's coming up. It's coming up. You're coming up to me. I just threw a ring across my room.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

We had the options of um Ty's family is going to Idaho to like Snake River or something like that. Whatever it's called.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

I kind of heard Idaho does fun 4th of July celebrations.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Yeah, which I was like, that sounds fun, and I feel bad because they probably think I just didn't want to go. Um but it's like a six and a half, seven-ish hour drive, and those are the worst with Hayden, and the farthest I'm willing to go in the car is Arizona because we have like family who lives there and one of our best friends lives there. So I'm like, that's the farthest I'm willing to drive with her right now because she hates the car. And then also I was like, that sounds so fun, but they said they were gonna be because you like you're on, as far as I'm aware, I haven't like looked into it a ton. You're on like a river for fireworks, like you're on a riverbank. And um, my mother-in-law was saying that they're they're gonna have to go like early in the morning to get a spot to watch the fireworks at night, and I was like, that sounds so fun. And that also sounds like hell with a one-year-old to be sitting on a riverbank and trying to keep her out of the water when I want her out of the water, and then I'm gonna have to be in the water with her. So I was like, maybe next year if you guys go, we'll go. But like, as of right now, the event itself sounds so fun, but the life situation we're in sounds like actual hell being there.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

No, it's really hard. Toddlers and like young babies, like you kind of have to decide if a certain situation is worth it, like the planning, the prep, the mental capacity, all of it. Because it's not like you can just kind of like throw your kids in the car and show up somewhere. There's a lot more that goes into it.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah, and I'm also like, I think ties like whole family is going, and they're all gonna want to hang out with Hayden. And I was like, I would be having anxiety the whole time because we're at water, and like you never know if someone's gonna think that she's a little bit, I don't know, more capable of sitting in the water by herself or whatever. And so I was like, again, that sounds so fun. Let us know where you're going next. So I'm like, let's go to like like Provo and and watch the fireworks by the Stadium of Fire or something. Uh-huh. And so, because that's like one of America's biggest, like, it's the third biggest celebration in America.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

When you told me that, I was like, that's actually crazy, but it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

But they have like the balloon festival and all of the parades and the stadium of fire, and it's crazy. So I'm like, we might as well. That's not that far of a drive. And it's a lot easier of a commute than going and sitting at a river all day with a one-year-old who is obsessed with water. And so I was like, we're gonna go to that this year. We're gonna talk because I feel like I'm picking my family over Ty's family. So it's uh holidays suck when you're married. Honestly, holidays suck so bad when you're married.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Holidays do, but luckily for us, luckily for us, my parents have kind of set this expectation. Not expectation, not expectation. What is the set up like kind of like a plan that like around the fourth of July we always go to Lake Pal. Like, that's kind of like the one thing. So we knew either like usually the week before over Lake Pal, over the fourth, or after we're going to be there. Right. Now it's just a matter of figuring out. They're actually going for a really long time. We just have to decide if we're going at the beginning of the trip or the end of the trip, and it all kind of depends on my work stuff. So I'm like, we shall see. I'm also slightly nervous about being in Lake Pal with three children. I will be what is the date? It's like mid-Jul, it's mid-June right now. I'll be 32. I'll be like 31 weeks. That is crazy. So I'm like, I don't know if I want to be like heat swelling up because there's gonna get to a point where I'm like, you're not gonna go back down. The swelling's not gonna return to base life. No, no.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

So it's like, do you want to jumpstart that right now? Or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Do we want kinkles now or later? We can eat. Yeah, yeah. That's up to you. I will say though, Lake Pallate. Have you ever been? Nope. Oh, Lake Pallet. Danielle, Lake Palace is one of my favorite place on this planet Earth. Like, I truly love it. It heals my soul. Like, it's really so amazing. Oh, like truly, like I love Lake Pala so much that I took Riley couldn't get work off last year. I took my kids alone. Yes, you took them alone. I took them alone.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

We're going, we're going. And I'm like, sorry, right. But Riley also didn't like grow up on the lake. I feel like if you grow up doing it, you have more of a love and like a more of an understanding for it than if you don't.

unknown 6:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Because your parents have gone to Lake Pow, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Yeah, they started going after I moved to how and got married. Oh, that sucks. Actually, I think they've only been like once or twice, but it's like when people invite them and so they go on like their houseboats or whatever. My parents have never gone and like rented a houseboat like for themselves.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Oh we go to Hawaii. It's a lot. I would I mean I'd still choose Hawaii. I'm sorry if I have to pick and choose. I'm sorry. I would pick Hawaii. I will say, I was we and Riley were sitting there the other day, and I'm like, wait, we don't have like a baby moon plan. Like, and I literally looked at him and I was like, what if we just take the kids to Mexico? He's like, why not?

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Why not? Just go, just up and go. Oh man. I have been cra Oh my gosh. We didn't even tell you. First of all, I have been craving a vacation, and I kind of got myself a guarantee. Um, because Ty the other day, this maybe should just be a life update. I don't know. Like, we have a let's chat set up, but like we'll just yap and then we'll just yap and then decide. Um, so the other day, Ty's like, hey, I have a video. He's like, you know how you do like because a lot of our Nelly Nose videos right now are scripted. That's kind of where we're going. We're going more for production script type stuff because what we're doing isn't working on YouTube. Um so he's like, hey, um, I know like we've done some prank videos on Nelly Nose. Can I do one? And I was like, sure, whatever. Which, like, the prank videos that I've done is like taking Ty to a freaking Cal's ranch and convincing him to buy chickens and then a last minute pulling out. So I'm like, okay, so like I don't know what he's gonna do. I was not worried about it. It's a lighthearted. I was not worried about it, okay? I'm ready. So we've had Savannah film with us, and so Ty and Savannah were like talking, and again, like I didn't think much of it. And the next day I was supposed to have lunch with my friend, but I had or I canceled it because I have a cough and I don't want to give it to her, right? Yes. And so Ty started the video off being like, Hey, I'm so sorry you had to cancel lunch to make it up to you. I'm gonna go get like a sweet treat for you. And I was like, okay, whatever. Leaves and comes back and like is acting all weird, and he's like, Oh hey, I got a tattoo. Clearly fake. It's like he got one and didn't even like fully put it on, right? So it's lifting, and I was like, You did not get a tattoo. Which first off, he came in and I had to close my eyes, and I was so scared at first because I was like, Did he get a tattoo? Because he I don't I couldn't confidently say that he's more impulsive than me in that sense. Yes, but like I can imagine, yes, he's talked about getting like all of these random tattoos. Like he's like at some point in his life, he will have an entire sleeve, and I'm like, okay, but you have to like check with me first before you just like get tattoos because like we have to make sure that it's like cute. Like he's talked about, like, oh, I could get a DD dice with like our wedding initials and stuff on it. I'm like, that's a cute idea, but like I don't want to look at a D dice on your chest for the rest of my life. Like, it's gotta be a little bit more aesthetic than that. Right. And so he comes back and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna open my eyes, and there's gonna be a massive, it was like a little flower. It was so funny. Okay, okay. But I was like, oh, I had my eyes closed when he was coming inside, and I was like, he got a tattoo of like some kind of DD monster or something that I'm gonna have to look dead in the eyes anytime I take his shirt off. Like, I was so scared. I'm like, oh my gosh, there's gonna be one massive eyeball creature thing that's in his DD game. And so I open my eyes and I see the little fake tattoo. I'm like, that's not real, so where's the real one? He pulls back his beard and shows me the biggest stud earrings, stud diamond earrings I have ever seen on a dude of his white color. He got his ears pierced. For reels? Yes, for reels. When I tell you, when I tell you that when we are dating, he asked me, he's like, okay, what is like like because we would do like quite like wait, really? Ty really pierced his ears. He really pierced his. He went to Claire's and got his ears pierced. And so when we were dating, I specifically, because he was like, what is one like petty thing that would be make or break for you? And I was like, one petty thing, and he's like, Yeah, so like not cheating, not any like petty make or break. And I told him I was like, um, if you had earrings, I would dump you. I would dump your A. Like, I would not be with you anymore. And so this dude decides it's a funny idea to test our literal marriage and go and get the trashiest looking earrings I have ever seen. He looked like he was prepping for a mug shot. He looked like he was gonna start calling himself an island boy and start singing really crap rap. It was real. He really pierced him. Almost started crying. There's a hole in his ear. There's a hole in his ear. No. Did he change him? Almost started crying. He took him out. Oh his plan was to get him pierced, so it was like real. I was like, the thing is, you can buy very realistic fake earrings, like very realistic looking fake earrings on Amazon, and you still chose to go and pierce your ears. I was so ticked. I was like irrationally ticked off, which I still feel guilty for. But I was like, nope, you're sleeping in the guest room. I don't want to sleep next to a guy who looks as trashy as you do right now. Like, obviously, mostly joking, but I was taking it serious. Um it looked so bad. Why? And then my dad was joking with them, and he's like, you might as well get your nipples pierced. And because I was ticked, I was like, you know what? Yeah, you're getting your nipples pierced. So I go on my phone, which when I went to schedule my tattoo appointment, the earliest appointment they had open was like a month and a half in the future. So I was I kind of had that expectation. So I told Ty, I was like, No. If I'm booking it, is an appointment within the next week. I'm booking it and we're getting your nipples pierced. There was one the next day.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

No, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

I decided not to get one. I said if the video doesn't get 25,000 views, he owes me a vacation wherever I want to go. Um so you get it? Oh, I'll get it. I'll get it. Um, but he literally pierced his ears, and I have never been so icked out by my husband.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I am it was genuine like that he we actually did it. Like spent money on it. And like now they have to feel yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Yeah. And I was also the my my cartilage piercing was more expensive, right? Yeah. And so in my head, I was thinking of the price from that, and I was like, do I want to know how much you spent on it? And he's like, it was only like 80. Yeah. So it wasn't bad. I was disgusted.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

That is the funniest thing I've ever came not even with pictures.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

I don't know. He took a picture. I'll have him send it to you. Okay, I need the picture. The other thing is if he came in with like little tiny like silver hoops, it might have looked good. Like afterward, I put like a little tiny, like one of those clip hoops on where it's like dainty. Yes. And it didn't look bad. But the fact that he chose the biggest stud diamonds that he could find, I was like, oh, I was, I almost cried. I was like, this is not my husband. This is gross. Tell me he went alone. He went with Savannah.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Oh my, I need to I need all of this. Like, I just it will all be on YouTube. I will be watching. I was so gross. I was so icked out.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

It was terrible.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

That is hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

You know what would you do if Riley came home with massive stud diamonds in his ears?

SPEAKER_01 14:19

I don't know if I don't know what I would do if Riley came home with massive stud earrings in. I don't know. I was revolted. I fear I would be like, what the crap did you just do? Oh, we both. My brother-in-law has like the teeny, super, super tiny like they're eat they're like silver, tiny, tiny hoops. Yes. And like those aren't bad. But like, see, I think the hoops are better, but the like no. But I also don't think Riley would ever do it. I will say, so Riley had, oh, what's it called? Riley got like a cyst almost in his ear. It was like this big bump, and like you couldn't pop it or anything. He literally went to the doctor and they like sliced it open and like squeezed it all out. So if you look close on his ear, like he has a line. And before the girls have asked, like after they got their period, their periods pierced. They were like, Did you have earrings? Because my dad has earring holes that he had before. And my kids are always like, What? kind of a thing, but Riley only has the one ear. And it's like, I can't picture it. I don't think Ray would ever do it. That's good because it looked so bad. No, it was. I definitely need the footage. I need the picture. We need to insert the finished video.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

It was so bad. And I feel like I felt so guilty because I get so many people in my comments telling me that like I'm a terrible wife for like how I act around Thai. Mind you, the dude is exactly where he wants to be. He likes how I talk to him. And if I was nice to him, he would run away. Okay. So for everyone saying that I'm too rude to Ty, man is where he wants to be. Okay? He can leave if he wants. He he ha he knows where the door is. But he comes back and rage baits me when I'm having a good day because he's like, no, no, no, no. I need you to be mean to me. When I'm mean to him, that's where he treats me the best, okay? So dying. I literally felt so bad for it, and I kept apologizing. And I was like, if you really want earrings, you can have them. And he's like, no, I don't want them. And I was like, you're lying. You're just saying that. Because I said that it looks terrible. Like his beard is so long right now because I have not had time to trim it because we literally have had something every single day. Yeah. Like for the past freaking two months, three months. So I haven't had a chance. So he just like, which if you see Ty's beard when it's long, it mostly just poofs outward. And so he just like poofed it out so that. Oh, so he just kind of I'm dead.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

That is the funniest thing that I've ever heard in my whole entire life. I hope you get your vacation. Where are you going? Me too. I don't know yet. I don't know yet. Well, listen, I need something. I'm kind of craving a cruise. I want a cruise. McKinley, do you know how cheap cruises are? Okay, but like, is that the best idea pregnant? You know? I don't know. Isn't there like a weird virus, weird thing that just came from a cruise?

SPEAKER_00 17:31

I don't know because I haven't heard anything else about that. Like I think it went away. I think it went away. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

I don't know. Listen, I would say. I had a good experience on our cruise, but if y'all see on my socials, we're all of a sudden in Mexico, just know intrusive thoughts won, and that's how we ended up there.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

I think we should encourage the intrusive thoughts. I think we deserve a trip.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Part of me is also like, I'm not scared to like travel with not a newborn, but like a younger baby, like now that I'm like more established as a mom. So I'm like, should I just wait till after? But then I'm like, nah, maybe we should before.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

You can also still do more than have the baby in your belly because you're not having to worry about them not getting too much sun. So you can get the sun. And like, you know, like I I totally know traveling with babies is possible. I've done it. It's totally fine. It's totally fun. But like I feel like you, as of right now, can do more than you can when you have a little tiny.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Well, the clock is ticking on how much time I actually have to be able to do something like that, so I'll report back. I'm sure, I'm sure it won't happen. But we'll see. Maybe we'll do like a little staycation.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

That's a good idea. You could just come to my house. Come to your house. Hello. There's tons of pools. And oh my gosh, I have been. Do you see how tan I am?

SPEAKER_01 18:53

You are so tan.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

This is two days of tanning. Two days. Wow. Two days of tanning. The UV has been an 11.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

11?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

An eleven. So just come to my house and tan for five days.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I will say we got um a little pass to a local kind of rec center, and we have been going all the time. And this is the tannist that I've been. My belly has been thriving. I threw all of my scaredness out the window and decided, you know what? We're just gonna let her out. Like we're just gonna let the smarts be. I love it. It's fine. My interest's thoughts just go the whole time, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Honestly, the weirdest thing ever, because Hayden was born in May, so I had time before, I was tanning before she was born. So after she was born, my stomach was so dark. Because the fact that like when it's stretched out, it has like more space to tan. I didn't think. But when it's not as stretched out, it's like all the tan is kind of like almost compacted. It was so much darker than the rest of my body. It was so weird. Wait, that's actually probably kind of nice because it's usually the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Well, it was so dark. I have all summer. I have all summer to bake. You got it. Well, you gotta continue cooking. Shall we do a few of these?

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Let's chat submissions. Do you want to do that? I think you pick one, and I'm gonna because there were some very specific ones in there that were more questions. So I think we should just like individually scroll. And individually scroll. That one's a I have a very specific one that's kind of like both between the eyes a little bit, and I don't know how to respond. So Okay, so this one's anonymous. You guys have both expressed that you have a more hands-off approach to your child childhood religion. If this is how you have always felt, then why did you choose to be sealed in the temple when you got married? I assume that's towards me. Did McKinley get sealed in the temple? Was that before you made the decision, or did you come to it more so for your family?

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Oh. Um, first and foremost, I'll answer first because I'm not sealed in the temple. I'm not sealed in the temple. So I wouldn't say Okay, that's actually really interesting that they're like, you guys have a very hands-off approach to religion. That's interesting because I kind of don't really feel that way. I feel like I mean, yes, but also no. Riley and I are not sealed in the temple. So we were going to get sealed after I had Raela. We were pretty close to going through with that, and then we just decided, you know what, that's probably not the thing for our family. So I will say, you know, that's really tricky because where I'm at right now, I don't believe my decision to not get sealed has an effect on my family. That's just kind of where I'm at right now with that. But I think I'm allowed to change my mind down the future if like that's what I do think. But as of right now, I don't think my approach, and especially in the last few months, hasn't been hands off with religion. I just don't share that. Publicly, honestly. Like we do stuff at home. We don't go to an actual church building, but we do talk a lot about religion and God, and we pray and do those things in our home. I just don't think it really needs to be broadcasted, I guess. Like I don't need to share exactly what we're kind of doing. But I feel like your take's a little different because you were sealed in the temple.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Yeah, so I can only say so much because I'm not sure how much Ty wants to say on the internet. Um I'll start with the childhood part. Our kids will likely not know a church building other than when our parents invite us. Um, although I I would like to make sure that my children know with a confidence who God is, who Jesus is, and where they stand in their lives without the church building experience. I don't love the church building experience. I don't love a lot of the opinion and judgment that goes in. I like the gospel, um, and that's what I believe in. And so our kids will know God and our kids will know Jesus. But I specifically want to teach them that everyone finds them in a different way because I personally grew up in the church feeling like a major outsider and feeling like I was in the wrong because people kept telling me that this was the only way to feel God. You can only feel God's presence um if you're doing the checklist. Yeah, and in the temple you're gonna feel God and you're not gonna feel anything, and because I wasn't feeling the things that people wanted me to feel, um, like I didn't feel the spirit when I went into the temple, I just felt obligated to go as a child. Um and that wasn't because I can't tell you that my parents pushed me because they didn't, and I can't tell you that specific people in my life pushed me because they didn't, but I will say there's a lot of pressure inside of the church on children and on teenagers to do stuff without a full understanding of what they're doing. Um and I I feel like that's a hard thing to say because it's expected for them to know, but it's also you're teaching so many kids at once about the same thing, but every kid learns differently. So while I was sitting next to kids who understood what was being taught, I did not. You interpreted it differently. I was just doing what everyone else was doing, I interpreted it differently, and I was doing what everyone else was doing, and I was saying, oh, I can feel the spirit because the people next to me were saying they felt the spirit. And oh, I can I can hear God's voice when I'm doing what's right. And I was just saying that because I was repeating what others were saying, and I don't want to do that to my kids, and I want to make sure they know that you have to find the way that God speaks to you. Um, and I can't tell you how that is because that's between you and God. Um about the temple, I'm gonna be completely honest, about my side, that is the one thing I actually regret about our wedding day is the fact that we went through the temple, and not because it's bad or whatever, um, but I'm not gonna say specifically who. Both Ty and I felt an outward push from a lot of people that we're close to that um if we were gonna get married, it had to be in the temple. And because the fact that we were young, we were 18, which I don't regret for a second that we got married that young, um, but because the fact that we were young and Ty hadn't even moved out yet because he was like, Oh, I'm he was planning on moving out, and then we decided to get married, and so we just decided to wait until we got married. Um, so he hadn't even moved out yet. So there we were at a point in our life where outward voices, it was still embedded in our head of you listen to these outward voices because that is what you're told all of your life, and it's kind of a a crazy thing to go from living in your parents' house to not living in your parents' house. Oh, for sure. Um and so I don't really think that Ty and I made the decision to go through the temple because it's what we wanted to do, it was just what had to be done.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Well, it was almost kind of expected.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

It was expected, it was very much expected. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I'm saying that I regret and I will regret this for the rest of my life. Um, I regret the fact that we went through the temple because we felt like we had to, and instead of saying, hey, we're not gonna go through the temple, we're gonna save that experience for one day when we want it, and it's something that we want, and it's something we're longing for because the church does offer that as an option.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Um I will say that is one thing that I'm grateful that we didn't just do it to check off other people's boxes because that's kind of where I got to is I was like, we were so close to doing it, and I was like, are we doing it for us or are we doing it to check other people's boxes to think that like we settled something? Yeah. So I'm like, you know what? I actually don't think that we are doing it for us.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

So yeah, that's where we were at that point. I wish we had come to that. No, you're good. I wish we had come to that realization, which every other second, every other millisecond of that day was absolutely perfect. And there were parts inside the temple that were perfect, but I didn't feel what I was supposed to feel in the temple. I felt good because I was getting married to the love of my life, yeah. But I didn't feel what I was supposed to feel, and I actually sat in the changing room and cried because I had to wear garments now, and I felt wrong about that because I have different beliefs about garments, and I'm not gonna talk about that. Um so there were so many other things that I was feeling that I shouldn't have felt that after that day it was really like, okay, I don't think this is for me. And I really wish we would have waited until we both felt like either God was telling us or that we wanted that. Um so I hope that answered that question.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I'm not gonna really get a whole lot deeper into it, but this is Allie from Nebraska, and she says, first and most important, I want to say thank you. Thank you for healing me in ways I never thought I would be healed. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for giving me hope and motivation to live life. But secondly, just wanted to ask what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self, and what is one thing you hope your kids do in the future? You two are the two big sisters I never had. We love y'all. That's so cute. We love you. Hearts all around. Um, let's answer the first one first. One piece of advice do we would give to our younger self? Let's try to make it different than the last one.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Um, what piece of advice? I would say I think this was the same one, but I would say that it's okay to be affectionate towards people that you care about because I was so scared. So I was just like super sarcastic. I was super like I don't know, kind of mean. And I'm mean now, but like I'm mean and I love people, you know? So it's like, yeah, I think I would say that it's okay to show affection because I feel like that would also lead into a lot of different other things. Um, and I also think that would help with a lot of relationships that I had going on, friendship-wise. Um, I love that. Because I feel like I would be able to connect better with the people that I wanted to connect with instead of connecting with the people that like really sucked. Um I think that's what I would tell myself for like the younger self thing. The younger self. And that's also what I'm trying to implement with my kids is that affection's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

Yeah. I love that. I think something that I would tell my younger self, kind of different, because we did like a whole episode something, because once that came out, I was like, there's a few things that I actually would love to tell myself that I haven't. I would probably say, don't be scared to be you. Like I was so worried about what people, not what people thought of me, but like I'm different. Like I really am. Like I'm a little goofy, I'm a little weird, like I know that. And I always like kind of dampened my personality because I thought that I was too much for people. Right. Um, and I wish that I wouldn't have because I think it kind of like I almost feel like I disassociated from my personality a little bit. And I wish I wouldn't have done that because I'm a good time. I'm a little crazy, but it's still fun. I know. It's so, it's so just be yourself and like don't be scared to be you. Yeah. What's the other part of that? What's one thing you hope your kids do in the future? Oh, what do you mean do? Like, like you know what I mean? Like, what do you mean like something that they like accomplish?

SPEAKER_00 30:51

I kind of took that as like I don't know, because that's why I was like, oh, that's what we're also implementing with our kids, is like the affection type thing. So I don't know if it was like that or like what we hope our kids accomplish. But my answer to that is I'm trying not to have any expectations because I have seen what that does to people very, very, very close to me, and I don't really want to be that parent. I just want to be the parent who supports their kids through whatever they decide to do.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

So I think that's kind of my thing. I want my kids, like, if they have something that they want to do and they want to continue doing it, I want them to not be scared to give it their all. And then if they decide like I don't want it anymore, then like do that. But I want my kids to like, if they're passionate about something, go for it. Like, please, like, try that, do whatever. I want them to be able to know that whatever they choose to do, they can succeed them.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

I agree with that. I agree. Okay, next is also anonymous. Are you up? I'm gonna find my own. And this is what is your biggest insecurity? I feel like you two seem so sure of yourselves. That is a facade, my friend. Excuse me, we're acting. Yeah, so I actually had this conversation with someone the other day. Um and it was like kind of like a little bit of a banter. I don't know if I would say that it's an argument, but it's a little bit of a banter. And I was like, well, like, because they were trying to get me to do something, and I was like, I really don't want to do this thing, and they're like, why, why, why? And I was like, Because I'm better than everyone else. And they're like, What? And like, I'm a brat. And they're like, like, they got kind of it seemed like they got a little bit triggered by that. And so later when they came and sat down, I was like, Do you know like why I say that? And they're like, What do you mean? Because this person's younger than me. Um and I was like, they said something about like worrying about what people think about me, and I was like, I've been on the internet for 10 years, over 10 years. What people say about me don't affect doesn't affect me as much as people assume. There are I they it does affect me. I will say that it does, and I'm actually like struggling with that a lot right now. But um, in that conversation, I was like, Do you know why I actually say I'm better than everyone else? And they're like, No, I'm like, it's not because I actually believe that I am on a pedestal above everyone else. It's something that I have to tell myself because my own opinion of myself has to be higher than others' opinions of myself, because if not, then every single word about me and everything else, every single thing said about me is going to knock me down and it's gonna hurt. So my opinion of myself, whether or not it's real or it's just me saying I'm better than everyone else, to kind of almost trick my brain that my own opinion over the things that I'm passionate about and the things that I'm proud of myself for, um that's not me really saying that I'm better than everyone else. That's that's my opinion that I'm trying to put over others' opinions about me. Um almost to mask it. Almost to mask it. So I don't actually believe when you say that we seem so sure of ourselves, that is literally my mask. That's literally my mask. That's and it's like and that's like me saying I'm a brat. That is my biggest and honestly, this podcast has done so many amazing things for me. And it's also made me a little more insecure because of the fact that I have a space to share my opinions. Um, and lately that's been a real problem. I've had a lot of people who feel triggered by things I say that aren't even about them. Um and so I'm going to try to be a lot less um I don't want to say open, but like kind of kind of dealing with that. I just I have to realize I think you're gonna be careful. I'm gonna be careful. I just have to realize that yes, this is a safer place than others, but the internet in general, where a lot of people can view, is not a super safe space for me to be 100% transparent. Um, and that's a big insecurity for me, is my transparency is I'm opinionated. And the way I state those opinions, um, a lot of the time I get triggered as I'm saying it because I'm triggered by that thing already. And so it comes out more harsh than I would like it to. And that's a lot of places in my life is I say I'm a brat because it hurts less when I say it if I'm already saying it when someone else says it. So that's why I call myself a brat. Um so that's a big insecurity of mine is I am a snobby brat. I have my opinions and I am not easily swayed. Like I feel bad because we were at Ty's parents' house the other day, and they're like, hey, do you want to go to New Zealand and run this race? And I was like, no. Why would I pay money to go and run a race? And again, this is gonna sound more opinionated. This is like the Lord of the Rings like set race. Have you seen that? So I'm like, why? No, I have not. Again, I got a little bit more sounding jerk face-ish than I would have liked. Um, but I was like, why would I pay money to go and run a race? I freaking hate running, and I am not the guy to be like, oh, these people are telling me this is the road I have to take, and I cannot go off the road. I'm not that guy. I go off roads. And so I was like, why would I pay money to go and run a race and have people tell me, you can't stop here, you can't do that, when I can pay money and go see it on my own time. But when I said that, it sounded a lot more brat facish, and I have regretted that conversation since. So my biggest insecurity is the fact that I'm a brat, but that's also one of my biggest like not strength? Yeah, strength says I'm a brat. I am not a pushover. Like I am not, there's not much someone can do to a people pleaser. I have a people pleaser tendency, but my brat tendency is higher than that. And so it's my strength, and it's my biggest insecurity. So anyway, yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 36:49

I no, you're good. Okay, I can't. This is so hard. My biggest insecurity. You guys, I don't know. This is so hard because I don't I don't want to say I don't have like a biggest insecurity because I have things that I'm insecure about. I just pinpointed one. But I'm like, okay. Kind of going back to like what I would tell my other self. I I'm gonna say something that it's probably going to come off wrong as I'm saying it, but this is how I felt growing up. Okay. I genuinely thought that there was something wrong with me because I was different than other people. Okay. Because like I thought like there was something wrong with me, so I would change my personality to like not fully be who I was. Because like I was so worried that people were like, she's too much. Like we can't because I am, like, I am like that's good. People think it's a facade, like people think like my personality is sometimes extra. No, you guys, like that's kind of just me. Like, I am a little extra. Like, that's just how it is. Like you you gotta get what you get. But I feel like my biggest insecurity is like when people assume that I'm like acting in a way, or like being something that I'm not when I'm like, yeah, sorry, I just have more energy today. Like, like, yeah, this is who I am, kind of a thing. Um, so I think my biggest insecurity is I know that a lot of people misinterpret who and how I am because I can't fully be the same. It does make sense. I don't know what it does make sense.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Like, I don't know how to make it make sense. Well, it's like the biggest strength and the biggest insecurity type thing. They usually go hand in hand. Like it is such a huge thing for you. I mean, like, look at your following. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I know followers aren't like the best, but like how many followers do you have? I think like 115 on Instagram and like 130. And you grew that all on your own from your personality. Like, that is such a crazy thing. And you spent so much of your life being insecure about your literal strength. What is making you money right now for your children is your personality, and that is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

See, it's so cool, but it's also so hard too, because it's like that is a strength of mine. But also, then when you get like I'm also can tone it down and be so for real. Like I can be normal human. Like, that's what's so that's what's hard, is it's like that doesn't have to be me all the time. That's a huge part of who I am, but like we have real raw conversation. Me and Danielle, that's what I mean. Oh, yeah, all the time. But the other thing is, is I also don't show something that I am insecure that I'm trying to work on is I don't show when I'm struggling very well. Like I put a mask on and I hide it, and then when I talk about it, people are like, no way, you're lying. And I'm like, no, I'm just really, really good at hiding it. I am not. So I'm like trying to be better at that. I well, I have really rock star good at hiding it.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

I have I I used to be really good at it, and then I kind of gave the hard thing is when I'm going through something, I'll like bed rot for the entire day. So it's like I'm like pissy about it. Like because my thing is when I'm going through it's all like, what am I doing wrong in my responsibilities? That's there for like I've got a lot of mental things. My in-laws probably think I'm crazy. I know they don't, but like, I know they don't. But in laws, I know my family thinks I'm crazy. And I have so many people that sometimes it's almost like not insulting, but I'm like, wow, am I that person? But I'll have comments of people being like, when you talk about your anxiety and your depressive episodes, it helps me so much. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I talk about it that much. I'm such like a wuss. Like, I'm just looking for attention, aren't I? And I'm like, oh my gosh, just let people compliment how you use your struggles as strengths almost. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

I don't know. You know what? Why is it so hard to take a compliment? I don't know. Like, what it's so hard. So hard. Oh, I haven't found my next one. Crap. We'll do one more. We'll do one more. Do you want to do it? Or do you have one in my? Let me see. Let me see. Wait, one more each? Probably just one more in two. Or one more, period.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

The what number nine is a good one.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Oh, let's short it, yeah. Okay, you go ahead. Okay. Okay. Astrid said, oh, hold on. I went a little bit out of it, so I have to leave Daniel for a second. What are some things that you know or heard that can help you slash your husband when trying to conceive? Like getting rid of plastic products, or plastic or products that can help love you girls. Um, here's this is tricky. A big thing.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

May do you have any thoughts off the bat? A big thing that Ty and I would do. So when we were trying, um, every month that we didn't get pregnant, we were always like, okay, we'll use this next month as an opportunity to see what we can do. So uh we got to a point where um I asked Ty not to drink energy drinks because caffeine intake severely affects a male's reproductive organs um and their sperm count. So we s I said like little to no caffeine, which Ty loves his caffeine. And I still still struggle with caffeine intake, and I'm kind of becoming crunchy, and so energy drinks are freaking me out a little bit. Um, and so it freaks me out when he drinks them, but I try not to say it too much because I don't want to control him. Um, so it's just me now. McKinley's in my ear, but you guys can't hear her, so I'm going to be the the translator for you. Um McKinley said she loves you all. McKinley's camera died. We have used these two last two episodes as technical discoveries, okay? We are discovering technically together. We're gonna figure this out because we're here for you guys. And um this is really weird. I've never closed off a podcast for myself, but we're gonna be again. Hey, we have a lot of crazy things coming. Again, a lot of change, a lot of good, exciting things. McKinley's about to have a friggin' baby, so you're gonna see a lot more of me unless we get more episodes filmed, which is hopefully the hope. Um, but yeah, we love you guys so much. Thank you for watching. Always remember that you are worth it. Love you bye.