Redefining Love for Single Parents

Redefining Love for Single Parents
In my latest conversation, I sit down with Nevine Coutry, Founder & CEO of Playdate, the UK’s first dating app created by a single parent for single parents.

Nevine is a British/Egyptian single mum, a second-time founder, and a marketing expert with over 15 years of experience. She built Playdate during lockdown after struggling to meet like-minded single parents seeking meaningful relationships — and decided to change the narrative herself.

From leading a marketing agency to fundraising for charities close to her heart in Egypt, Nevine’s journey is one of resilience, vision, and redefining what love and connection can look like for single parents across the world.

🎧 Join us as we dive into her story, her mission, and the movement she’s building through Playdate.
A conversation you don’t want to miss.

Connect with Playdate:
🌐 Website: gotoplaydate.com
📸 IG: @gotoplaydate
▶️ YouTube: Playdate Single Parent Dating
📘 Facebook: Playdate
💼 LinkedIn: Playdate App Limited

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Today's guest is Naveen Kutri, a British Egyptian single mom and a second-time founder with over fifteen years experience in marketing. She is the founder and CEO of the UK First Data N for single parents. Which she founded during lockdown out of personal need of struggling to meet uh like-minded single parents looking for meaningful relationships. So before I go any further, I'll get Naveen to introduce herself.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Hi Free, thank you for having me, and thank you for that nice introduction. Um, so yeah, my name is Naveen. I'm a I'm a single mom, second-time founder. Um, I really became a single mom uh um out of a very uh after a very difficult uh relationship. It was a very difficult decision to make, but obviously it was for the the best for the well-being for myself and my son. Uh became a single mom in 2016 uh when my son was three years old, and since then found it very difficult to really meet people or have any kind of social life. Um, as you mentioned, I'm Egyptian, uh born and bred, but also a British uh citizen. So that means that I don't really have any family or support here in the UK. So it's really, really difficult to, you know, go out uh or meet friends or have any kind of social life as a single parent when you're doing so much and have zero support. So it's been really quite a struggle. Um and Playdate was really born out of my frustration of uh finding it so difficult to meet people in the same situation as me that are also looking for, you know, their next life partner or for a meaningful relationship. So that's really why I created Playdate.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Thank you. Thank you for that. Um just wanted to ask, you know, um, so you are African? Would you say you're African, yeah. Um I know in our um, you know, in that in that culture, in our culture, when people um decide to separate, that actually is quite a big, it's it's quite a big deal, isn't it? And how did you find it?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Was that quite a difficult um yeah, it was very difficult, and it's actually something that from in our culture um and in my family is really frowned upon. Like, you know, you don't give up on a relationship, you have to, and it's almost because there's such a there's such a difference in the roles of the man and a woman in the relationship, it's so much on the woman to kind of make the man happy in the relationship. So I remember when I was going through my divorce, you know, I was telling my mother about the troubles I was having, and she said, Well, you must have done something wrong then. Like, you know, you had you didn't keep your man happy. And it was like, oh my God, I can't believe this way of thinking. Like, you know. So it's I I think it's it was it was a very difficult decision to make, especially when you come from a culture where that's very much a taboo, a taboo thing to do. And being a divorced woman in a culture or a country like like where I'm from, is really like frowned upon, and you're not seen like in the UK. I find that people really embrace single parents, like they actually they they celebrate them and they're very like encouraging and supportive. Whereas back home, it's like, oh, she's like, you know, used goods, you know, she's she's no good because she's yeah, she must have failed, she failed at something, she failed at keeping a marriage. Um and it's really such a very negative, um, kind of toxic environment to to be in. So yeah, it wasn't an easy, it wasn't an easy thing to do at all because I really went against the the the grains of society of my society and and culture.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Yes, it's it's similar in um in Nigeria as well, you know, um, and a lot of people feel shame when they divorce or when they separate. And you know, it shouldn't be like that because sometimes people do grow apart um in relationships. So um, with regards to the um your dating app, when was the light bulb moment when you just thought to yourself um you had this idea?

SPEAKER_01 4:24

So so prior to Playdate, I had so I as I mentioned I'm a second-time founder. So I had a business, another business that was very successful. Um, and it was a marketing agency uh basically focused on tourism and travel clients. So I was the business was doing very well. And as I became a single mom, I was very busy with my work, so I really didn't have time to go dating. But my friends, you know, after a year after divorce, they're like, come on, you need to put yourself back out there, download the apps, go dating, meet people. So I started to do that, and I just hated it. I found it such a miserable experience. All of the mainstream dating apps, you know, they're mainly people that don't have children. And then I have to go on a date, I have to book a babysitter, so I have to pay money, and then I have to go on the date, and then sometimes they don't show up, or they cancel last minute, or you have to sometimes pay for half of the meal. So, and then they don't call me back because I have a uh too much baggage, you know, or like it's too messy. There's a child, there's an ex-partner, especially if they don't have kids, and I completely understand that it becomes too much for them to take on and they and they kind of don't like that. So they end up ghosting you. So that at that moment, when my my other business was doing well, I thought to myself, you know, wouldn't it be great if there was something out there just for single parents where everyone's in the same shoes and you don't have to worry about, you know, how they will react to you having children or an ex-partner. But I kind of threw it into the universe then and didn't do anything about it, you know, because I had a uh my other business. But the real light bulb moment for me was uh when COVID hit, the pandemic hit, and I lost my business overnight, that that first business. And I found myself without income, without a job for that whole year of lockdown, stuck at home with my son, and finding it really hard, you know, lonely loneliness really started to kick in. And I felt like, oh my God, like this is this is terrible, and there's no one I can talk to that understands what I'm going through. And that was kind of the moment for me because I thought, wow, well, maybe now is the time to create a platform where single parents can meet and talk to each other and talk to people with a shared experience. So I think it was um the silver lining of me losing that first business and me being in this very difficult situation during lockdown where I where the that moment came to me and I thought, okay, I've got time on my hands. Uh let me let me create uh a dating app just for single parents. And and I think it was a bad situation, turned into a positive one because it was like I hit a rock bottom moment financially and also emotionally, but I it helped me spark this idea of of creating play date. So I think that was I think the pandemic and lockdown was really the moment for me.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

And what was it like for you during lockdown being a single parent?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Oh my goodness. Um uh let me tell you, Faith, it was probably one of the hardest times of my life after my divorce, I would say. Um yeah, it was very difficult because I was on my completely on my own. I couldn't travel because there was a travel ban, uh, stuck in a small flat with my son in London, homeschooling. So my son was seven or eight, so I had to be a teacher full-time. Uh, also not knowing how I was gonna pay the bills at the end of the month because I lost my business overnight, did not have furlough, was not allowed any of the grants because I didn't make enough money that year in the business to be able to get any kind of grants. Um, because essentially I was a freelancer. So it was really difficult uh to navigate that that period. And to make it even worse, during that year of lockdown, I got uh bank scammed. So I was living off my savings. Yeah. And and and it completely wiped me out. They wiped me out of every penny I had. So I was literally left with nothing. Um and at that moment I could have easily given up and packed up and went back home to to Egypt, you know, to be with my family. But something inside me told me, you know, you have to put all your energy into creating play dates because I truly believe this could be something. So I just channeled my energy into into creating play dates. But yeah, it was a very, very difficult time. Very, very difficult time.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

So what was um I I know you mentioned some of the challenges you faced, but trying to having those challenges and also raising a child trying to create this, how was that during that process of lockdown? Um I think I was probably the worst parent.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

What are you doing? Give me a typical day of what you were doing. Oh my god. Well, waking up, uh, getting my son to get onto his Zoom lessons, basically being a teacher all day to my son, um, while also trying to navigate creating, building this app uh with play dates. But I would have to say I was probably the worst parent uh during this year of lockdown because you know mothers are we're not built to be teachers. I mean, I I have so much respect now for teachers. I found myself being very impatient because you're also stressed, you're stressed because you're not working, you're stressed because you're stuck at home. It's just me and my son, who was seven at the time. So he loved it. I mean, reflecting back on lockdown, he he misses lockdown. He actually had such an amazing time because he could, you know, he wasn't at school, he could be, you know, taking breaks, playing with his toys. He and I think he got so comfortable being at home and really enjoyed lockdown because we had to get creative with like arts and crafts at home, making things together. And and I think in hindsight, we spent so much quality time together. I think it got me closer to my much closer to my son. Whereas before I was traveling all the time and working all the time. So um I think it was a blessing in disguise because it just got us so much closer together and we'd actually do things together. Uh, but I lost my patience a lot. Like I was very irritable. I was, you know, uh, you know, there were moments where I would we would finish um one of his school lessons and I would get so frustrated because he just wouldn't understand how to do things, and it was just very yeah, it was it was a difficult time, uh for sure. Uh and as and and as with any roommate or a married couple who are stuck at home together 24-7, it's bound to cause a bit of friction because I think distance is good. Um, and they say that in lockdown, either people were either getting divorced or they were making babies. So it was one of one of the two. So it's either you know, you either make it through lockdown, if you make it through lockdown, then you've got a strong relationship, you know. Um, so yeah, it was definitely a blessing in disguise, but a very difficult time to to navigate. Like you're not really thinking about raising your children, you're thinking about how am I going to survive uh survive through COVID. And and we both got COVID like three times, my son and I. Like we got sick quite a lot. So um, but he loved it. I don't know why he he actually misses lockdown. And uh, I think they really liked it. I think the kids liked not being at school and not having to wear their uniform and all of that.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

So it was um I think it was fun for the children, but uh, but I think for the adults it it was quite a difficult time, especially if you don't have um security uh with a job that can pay you furlough, uh and so yeah, it was a worrying time for a lot of people because no one knew what the next step was, you know. Um I think we're all just left in a limbo because we're just waiting for news every day to see when we would come out of lockdown. And um when you were doing your research, so what was that like during lockdown? What type of things were you doing to try and um find out that this would actually work, that there was a market for it?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Yeah, great question. So I basically recently for the first kind of few months I was really looking into the market, the dating market, seeing what was out there, seeing you know what kind of businesses are there, what kind of new dating apps are coming out. And you'd be astonished to know that there's a thousand four hundred dating apps and websites available.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

For for every kind of person, for every type of niche, for uh, you know, Christian dating, Muslim dating, Jewish dating, dating for people with pets, dating for vegans, vegan dating, uh, dating for over 50s, like every kind of niche, um, but nothing for single parents. And I was really like astonished. So I'm like, okay, let's look at this market, let's look at the single parent market. And then I realized in the UK alone, there's three million single parents, in the US, 22 million single parents, and globally 320 million single parents. I'm like, okay, something is like wrong here. This is such an opportunity because this is a demographic, and also it's not it's worth mentioning that there's nearly a 45% uh divorce rate in the main markets, and more than half of people getting divorced have children, 16 or younger. So, you know, it's clearly there's a market there that's completely untapped. And I thought, oh my god, I think I'm onto something. Um, and there was nothing available. There was there's one charity for single parents, and there was another app for single parents for like moms to meet with the kids and uh go on play dates, but there was nothing for dating, for relationships. So I'm like, okay, I think I'm onto something here. The name came to me very quickly. I was just going to ask you, how did you plan play dates? Because it's brilliant. Thank you so much. Yeah, so because so firstly, because I used to marketing is my kind of uh expertise. So I've worked, you know, over 15 years um as a marketing manager, marketing director, and then set up my own marketing agency. So I love marketing, branding, uh copywriting. Um so I'm very much kind of switched on when it comes to to that those things. And as a single parent myself, I just uh the name just came to me because I was thinking of a word that parents can relate to, something that all parents can relate to, but then a play on the words. So a play date is what we refer to when you speak about the children, uh, but this is an adult play date. So in even our slogan is, you know, who said playdates were only for kids? Um and I thought it was perfect because it has the word date in it. Um and it's a very it's a word that all parents can connect to. Um so so yeah, I was very happy to come up with that. But of course, because it's a generic word, it was the when I was looking for like a website, you know, a domain name, play date was already taken. So it was very difficult to find a domain that could go with the app. But uh, we we managed to, and one of the very first things that I did, which cost me money, but I I thought it was very important, is that we trademarked uh the we trademarked the name. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we trademarked it because I think that's one of our biggest assets is actually the name of the app. Um and and I'll tell you later, I'm sure you're gonna ask me this question, but now after a few years, we're seeing other dating apps for single parents. So I created a market that didn't exist, and now people have which is amazing. I think that's because the more the merrier. And it only shows that there's demand, right? So there's now three other dating apps for single parents as well. But you the first but I'm the first, and and I and I and I believe I'm the only one with the with a strong brand name that's actually relevant to this to single parents.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yeah, because um, I mean, I went into your app to have a look at it. There are also other services that you actually provide within that, like collaboration with other um organizations. Do you want to elaborate on that?

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Thank you. Yeah, so one of our USPs really is for me, one of the main challenges of dating as a single parent is childcare. So it was very important for me to uh to make dating accessible and hassle-free for single parents, especially for those that don't have support or help. Uh, that they can get instant discounted childcare within a click of a button through Play Date. Because that's one of the hurdles. It's like, oh, I have to book a babysitter or I don't have someone to look after the kids, I can't go on the date. So we one of the first partnerships we did was was with a company called Bubble. Um, and Bubble is the UK's leading childcare and nanny app. So I went to them, I said, listen, I'm working on this app. I did we didn't even launch yet. And I said, Listen, it's a single-parent dating app. I really want to offer our users a childcare solution. Uh, and you you're the best in the country. And they loved it. And they said, yes, of course, we'd be happy to give your users a discount. So through play dates, so once let's say you're chatting with someone, you like each other, you do you arrange a date. And then if you're struggling with childcare, through play dates, you get a discount on your babysitter. So you can book it directly through play dates, and you get discounted childcare instantly. It's like the I know they they often refer to Bubble as like the Uber for babysitting, because it's like instant, vetted, uh verified childcare. So that was really important to me, and that's I think what makes us uh stand out from our competitors and in the market is because we've really it's a very thoughtful um app because it's so intentional for single parents just to make dating you know easy for them. Like if you don't have a babysitter, no problem, you know, we've got you covered.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, that's that's absolutely amazing. Um I might have already asked you this, but what gap did you see in the dating of App World that you felt um you could fit, you could fill? I think you already mentioned that, that there wasn't really a lot of um single parents um apps out there.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Yeah, that's the gap, but also even on the mainstream dating apps. I mean, you can say that you're a parent on these apps and you can still go on dates and meet great people, but it's almost like single parents don't have much free time, okay? And they don't want to be wasting, they don't want to be wasting their time on dates that you know go south very quickly. You know, they have to, it's not just the money, but it's the planning and the logistics and being away from your children. You know, it has to be worth your time. Even when I meet my friends, I can't just go on random dinners every every night. I it has to be, there has to be a special occasion or it has to be uh pre-planned. And it's a shame to say that because I used to be a very spontaneous person before children. But you really have to think twice about how you spend your time. And and especially, you know, you're tired, we're tired, we're overworked, we're juggling a lot of responsibilities. So when you have that social time, you want it to be worth it. So I just really wanted it to be the gap was yes, there was nothing out there for single parents, but there was nothing out there for single parents uh in a way where it's not time consuming and not stressful because it's still stressful on the mainstream facing apps. Because you think about should I mention I have kids or not? When do I tell them I have children? Should I put it on my profile? Um, so this is so PlayDate is almost like a short list of people with the same experience as you, so you don't need to worry about sharing that part of your life. Actually, it's your greatest asset. Having children is something you should be proud of because everyone is in the same shoes. And it also makes connection, it also makes the possibility of making an authentic connection a lot higher. Because even if you don't find love, you can maybe make a friend, or maybe you realize that your children go to the same school, or there you can share exchange stories and parenting advice. So it's almost like a community. Um, because for me, like I have amazing friends and support system, but if if no one's been through what I've been through, it's very hard for them to understand the experience. So it's uh there's there's strength in a in a shared experience that really helps with uh fostering authentic connection.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Amazing. So, what was the biggest hurdle you getting the app off the ground? Did you face any challenges at all or hurdles?

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Uh well, yes, I mean I have no technical background at all. I had no idea how to create an app. I'm not I'm not from this world. I'm I'm not technical. I, you know, I'm a marketeer. I um I'm very good with words and uh and pictures, but I I I have no idea how to build an app. I don't know how to code. I uh you know it was a very, very novel and very alien uh world for me. So it's it took me a lot to learn about app development and all of that, and obviously I couldn't do it myself. So I think the biggest hurdle was understanding the technicalities, and even until today, it's one of the main challenges that I face is the technical part of of app creation and app growth. Um because it's not it's not easy. So I mean I would I wish I could have taken a coding course or something to really learn how to do it. So I think the hurdle is you have to depend on other people to do it. And because because you don't have that technical background, you don't have any benchmarks of like what's good, what's not good, what's working, what's not working. You you kind of have to trust third parties that have the expertise and know what they're doing to do it. So I think that was the biggest challenge for me. Um I think if I had the technical skills, I probably would have created a better first MVP, as they call it, or have maybe have created it quicker. Um, but it was it took me some time. It took me the whole year of lockdown just to create the the first version of the app. So I would say that was probably the biggest challenge was knowing you know how it all works. Because it was completely new new for me.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

And how did you balance the demand of motherhood with launching a startup? Because I know you said you this is your second time around, but what was it like with this app?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Um so because it was lockdown, it was almost like we were we were physically together all the time. So we were around each other. So it kind of made it made it easier in that sense. But there is no I don't I I don't think I think anyone that tells you that there's balance uh is lying because there is no balance. You're always there is no balance. I think you're always you're always putting too much into one side and not enough on the other. I think it's it's really hard. I think it's really hard for working parents, especially working single parents, to be able to be fully, fully committed to one or the other because you can't. So it's um it's not a balance, it's a mix, it's a it's it's this big chaotic mix of the two. Um but I think it's in a way I I like that my son sees his mother taking a risk and building something from scratch. And I hope that he has pride in that uh as he grows that you know that he's proud that to see his mother uh working and working and committed in that way. Um but yeah, it's it's it's it's always difficult, even even as they grow. They say it gets easier, but it doesn't get easier. And uh mom guilt, mom guilt is real. It's uh you always feel you always feel guilty uh about not giving them enough or not not spending enough time. Um but yeah, I think it's just every everyone, every parent finds their their own kind of balance. Um and I think the beauty of of being your own boss helps a lot. So yes, it's there's so many risks and challenges, and it's an extremely highly stressful situation to start your own business and to build your own business. But then you have the flexibility of not reporting to someone and the flexibility of not having to go into an office every day. So I can work in the evening or taking time off. So I even on holiday, I take my laptop, I work a few hours, I can work in the evening when he's asleep. Um, you know, weekends sometimes they're you know, they when he's with his dad, I can spend that time working. Um so it gives you flexibility, and I think it helps. It helps actually um with you spending more time as a parent by running your your own business because you work on your own timeline. So, you know, and and I think it works that way.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

I was going to ask you this at the end, but ask you now, how do you take time out when you want to relax?

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Ooh, um, I'm very bad at this and I need to do more of this. And I think my friend and my parents, if they're listening, they're like, she needs to take more time off. Um, no, I've uh I've there were many points in actually this year and last year where I was feeling like I was getting burned out, like I was working too much, and I was very stressed. Um, and it started to manifest physically in my body, in my skin. I was gaining weight, losing my hair, um, be becoming like not sleeping well. Um, and I think my body was telling me like you have to take a break, you need you need time out. And I think it's really important to rest because when we rest, it's the time when you can reflect and when you can actually become create more creative in your thinking. Of course, yes. Um so I've decided to uh since the beginning of this year, force myself into one hour each day at least for like self-care, so that whether that's doing some exercise or going for a walk or um something like that, uh, I've committed to a monthly massage, which might be that's a nice way to relax. Um, because I'm very much about the physical touch as well. So that's my love language. And since I don't have that, and my son is at an age where he doesn't want to hug me or kiss me because it's not cool, yeah. Um and it's so cringe. So um I've opted for a um physical touch through massage, and it's actually very relaxing. So you have to take the conscious decision to to today to take time out, even if it means an hour a day. Um and holidays as much as possible. So over the summer I went home for three weeks. I was working one hour each morning or two hours each morning, but then completely switched off the rest of the day, and I came back feeling so much better, honestly, um, and ready to take on you know new tasks. And there's it gives you so much energy once you take time out, even if it's minimal time. So but I was very bad at doing that up until kind of this year. I I really wasn't taking any any any time out at all.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

Yeah. Well, whilst we're on this topic, I don't actually have this written down, but whilst we're on this topic, what would you say to the singled parents that are out there watching this? What would you say to them in terms of looking after themselves? And you know, you you talked a little bit about um uh having burnouts almost. So what message would you say to them with that to any single parents out there?

SPEAKER_01 26:48

I would say be selfish. I would say be selfish. I would say take care of yourself first and foremost, because we always say like put on your oxygen mask first before you put it on someone else. Uh and I think we become better parents if we're if we're in a good place. Um and that good place doesn't have to mean in a romantic relationship, that could just mean loving yourself and and taking the time to to do the things that give you joy. Um and I I think if I've learned anything through my journey as a single parent, is that I'm my own best friend. Like, you know, I've I'm you're the only one that will stand up for yourself, like really be there for yourself. Um because it's you can spiral into a black hole very, very quickly. So I would say um be more selfish.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

Okay, thank you for that. So going back to the uh dating app, how has the response been um since you launched Playdates? How has it been?

SPEAKER_01 27:51

It's been amazing, I have to say. I mean, it's been now two and a half years, 2023, when we properly launched, and um yeah, it's that that first year we didn't have any funding to do any marketing, so it grew organically to 10,000 users, you know, just by word of mouth. Um, and we had so many users write to us, you know, this is amazing, like the reviews were so good, and we had to iterate a lot in the app because to make it more inclusive. Um, I realized there's a whole other segment of single parents that I hadn't accounted for, which are solo mums. I don't know if you're uh familiar. So there's a lot of women that come to a certain age, they don't have a partner, but they want to become mothers, so they do solo uh IVF. So they do IVF and have children on their own. And and when you sign up to play date, you have to say whether you're separated, divorced, or widowed. But I didn't have anything for solo parents. So um, yeah, a user got in touch and she's like, I want to, I would love to use the dating app, but I I'm a solo mom and there's no I'm I'm none of the above. So we have we've been taking a lot of user feedback and iterating the app. So it's very inclusive. So, you know, whether you're looking for same sex, uh, different sex, transgender, like we're very inclusive in that sense. Um, and we cater to all types of single parents, whether you're widowed, divorced, uh solo parents, or separated. But the feedback feedback has been great, and we've had actually a couple of success stories. I was just going to ask you about that. So tell us about it. Yeah, but the problem with with the UK market, especially, people are very private and they don't want their stories shared because because they're single parents, they don't want like their family to find out or their ex-partners to know about their new relationship, or their children, you know, to to to know. So they're very private. So none of them have were were like allowed me to share their like uh details. But we've had a couple of people, so one woman, she has three children, she moved in, they they met on Playdate, and she moved in with a guy who has two kids, so now they're a big family, big blended family with five children, so it's so lovely. Um, and then we have another solo mum, the same woman that actually asked me to add solo parents, and and she's been dating uh a very lovely, lovely man as well. So we have seen some success stories, and we're seeing lots of matches on the app. Um, and people are still on the app, so that means that we must be doing something right because you know they're still engaging with it. Um and it's been just so amazing to see, to see, to see that because I feel like single parents, unless you're a solo parent, you don't choose to become a single parent. You know, you don't go into a relationship and have a child thinking you're gonna separate or divorce. You know, nobody really wants that for their for their for themselves or their children, but things do fall apart, like you said, for many reasons, you know, whether something's gone wrong or you disnant or the love goes away. And and at the end, you want to model a good relationship for your children, right? You want them to see love and respect uh in a relationship. So you have to you have to be honest with yourself. Um, and it's very hard though, once you've been through something like that, to put yourself back out there. So I'm I'm very proud of the single parents that have taken the plunge with playdate and really put themselves out there again after having gone through either losing a loved one uh to death or to or going through a difficult divorce. Um, because it's not easy. It's really not easy to you kind of lose lose a bit of faith in relationships once you've been through a difficult one and and gone through something as traumatic as a divorce or a separation, because it is the second most, I think after losing a loved one, it's the second most traumatic experience, uh life experience that someone can can go through. So for them to have the the courage and bravery to give it a go again, um that makes me really happy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

Yeah. I think you might have touched upon this, but um, do you feel play dates is also helping um to break down stigma on dating as a single parent?

SPEAKER_01 31:59

For sure. And I think I started a movement because now there's these three other dating apps within the same space. Uh yeah, for sure. There's so much shame and stigma around it. Um and and and I'm really happy to have been part of that conversation. And and and like I even started a podcast myself similar to you.

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Yeah, you want to ask you because I gave it to one episode. And how is that going?

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Yeah, so it's called Confessions of a Single Parent. Yes. And and the whole thing about so people think that, you know, oh, life is so miserable, single parents, you know, are like these sad individuals. No, we want the same thing everybody wants. We want to have we want to find love. But we're also we can be funny about it and we can make jokes about our situation, you know. So I I it's a playful app. It's yes, it's for meaningful relationships, but it's it's it's it's supposed to almost like bring joy back in your life and and laugh and have laughter and joy in conversation. So confessions of a single parent, and I don't know which episodes you you you listen to, but we have some amazing, funny, hilarious stories of you know, single parents talking about their dating experiences, things that have gone wrong in a relation on a date, um, people that have moved on and and remarried or have a new partner and have talked about how it is integrating children into a new partnership or into a blended family, how that works. There's so many nuances to the single parent experience and so many different perspectives. And I really wanted to bring that to light. Again, to take away the shame and the stigma around single-parent dating and to really give people a voice to talk about their experiences. Because not every relationship, not every experience is the same. Um, you know, I'm, for example, had a difficult divorce, but some people had very amicable divorces and actually are very good friends with their ex-partners, which makes it very easy for them to support each other going forward. So I think there's a lot of topics around single-parent dating that people don't really talk about or know. Um, and I wanted to bring that uh to light with this podcast. And I always try to use my channels to to bring some fun and laughter into the lives of single parents.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Yeah. So I was going to ask you, what advice would you give to single parents who want to go back into the dating, um, into the dating world, but are feeling, you know, they're hesitating about it. What would you, what would you, what message would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 34:27

Ooh, I mean, that was difficult for me. I I completely understand how daunting it is uh and it must feel to put yourself back out there. But I would say, now that you've come out the other end of being a single parent, I think you know exactly what you want and what you don't want. So whatever whatever kind of relationship you had previously to become a single parent must have taught you a lot of lessons. So I think go into it headstrong because you're very clear on kind of the red flags, like what are your non-negotiables, you know, and you go into that and you go into dating with that sense. Like there are a few things that are non-negotiables, there are things that you will not accept and things that you are really looking for. And also have confidence in knowing that you've survived on your own, you're completely fine on your own. So you don't you don't need that other person, you want that other person in your life. So I think it's um I think that it's daunting, but you be but you can do it because it especially with play date, it's there's no judgment and there's no shame and there's no stigma because we're all in the same boat, right? So so take it like don't take it too seriously, and I would say go in looking for a connection. Don't go in looking for love. Look at it as you're connecting with someone else who has a shared experience. Whether that sparks into love, amazing. If that sparks into friendship, even more amazing, still amazing. So any kind of connection, and it's almost like group therapy, you know, it could just end up being like it's therapy, it's it's you know, someone you can talk to. So I would say not to stress about it too much, especially if you're and I'm gonna sell play date here because with play dates, you don't need to worry about the fact that you're a single parent and you don't need to feel shame around it because you're actually celebrated for being a single parent. So it's almost like empowering you. So you know, it's it feels empowered. I want I want single parents to feel empowered going into playdate because everyone, everyone's the same, and there's more people than you think that are actually have gone through the same experience.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

Yeah. I just wanted to ask you one thing actually. When people think about single parents, I I don't know, but it's always women that comes to mind. But what about um do you have I I know you you you probably have them on your app as well, but how do we approach dating?

SPEAKER_01 36:53

That's uh that I'm so happy that you asked this question because I feel like the men are often neglected when it's when when you have the single and the reason I think that is, is because and that's a very valid, um valid perception because usually, usually, and not always, because we have see with there are a lot of cases where it's not true, but usually the children uh live with the with the mother, like if they're both, you know, uh even if there's shared custody, but usually the mother is the primary uh care carer in in the case of a custody arrangement or child arrangement. But there are some amazing single dads that actually have the children full-time, um, and that are fantastic men and single parents. Um, and we have actually the majority of our users are single dads. So we have, yeah, people always think, oh, you must have more single moms, but we actually have a at the moment 70% are single men, single parents, uh, single dads, and 30% are single moms. We used to have a 60-40 split, so it used to be 60% single dads, 40% single moms, but now there's we've we're seeing more single dads come in. So actually, um, and I think the reason being is because even if they don't have the children full-time, um, single dads probably they have more free time if they don't have the you know sole custody of the children or have a shared arrangement where they have the kids on the weekends or on certain nights of the day of the week. Uh they have more time on their hands, and they're also more likely to move on quicker than women. You know, women tend to dwell on the emotions a bit longer than men. Men tend to to move on after relationship quicker. That's just the truth of it. Uh, and they're probably on multiple dating apps as well. So they wouldn't just be on play date, they'd be on multiple dating apps. Um, but yeah, there's some amazing single dads, lots of widows that are that are, you know, single dads that have you know that have lost their uh their wives and are taking full care of the children. Um so yeah, I I I think I think it's people always think it's just the mums, but there's loads of single dads out there and doing amazing, doing amazing jobs as as single dads.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Yeah, I was just going to ask um these questions are just coming to my head. So sure, sure. No, no, it's fine. So in terms of um, you know, coming from a cultural ethnic background, I know that some of the women I know, they don't want to go on dating apps. I don't know whether you guys keep records of you know cultural, um, geographic or something like that. Um, would you say there was a lot of ethnic minorities or is it a low percentage? Because I know there is a stigma within my culture going on dating app to even say um you're going you're on a dating app.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

That's that's a great question. But I think because we're only in the UK, we don't actually gather ethnic uh background information on the app. It's not something that we we do gather, but we could in the future. Um but because it's only in the UK, we're seeing primarily kind of English white people on the app. You're right. I don't I haven't seen uh any kind of large mix of of different ethnic backgrounds. Um and I think the reason being is yes, the the stigma around it, but also there are dating apps for Africans, there are dating apps for people of ethnic backgrounds, people of certain religious backgrounds. So these dating apps already exist as well. So they may be on those more kind of either faith, um faith uh niche dating apps, or maybe um, yeah, kind of like geographic where you're from, that kind of thing. So that those dating apps do exist, but that's a good question. And I think as we grow, the plan is for Playdate to become a global dating app. Those so my so I for me, Africa would probably be not really high on my list of next markets because of the because of the cultural, uh, there's a lot of education that needs to go into those uh markets. Like in in Egypt, it would not do well at all. Like in Egypt, there's no way. And because it's such a, I don't know about Nigeria, but in Egypt, society is very small and everybody knows everybody, so everyone would be talking and gossiping and like, oh my god, she got divorced, and she's on a dating app, and there's a lot of there's so much shame and stigma, it's terrible. Um, and and people would be calling each other, like, did you see who just got divorced and she's already on a dating app? And oh, it's just um, yeah, it's not, it's just very, very um, yeah, not not really a great culture that doesn't really embrace yeah, dating apps, that's for sure for sure. But because we're only in the UK for now, uh I think probably 95% are kind of English white um people that are using the app.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Okay. So looking back, what is one thing you wished you knew before starting this journey?

SPEAKER_01 41:54

That it's so hard. That it's that it's that it's this hard, that it's this hard, that it's this bloody hard. Yeah. It's um I think my first business because it was it was very different because it was kind of what I took my expertise of 15 years and started my own marketing agency. So it was I was kind of like on autopilot doing the thing that I knew how to do and people paying me for it. It was a very different experience, and I didn't need to fundraise it, it was a profitable business. I bootstrapped it completely, and it was a very organic uh transition for me. This was like I'm throwing myself into the deep end of something I have no idea how to do, and I have no idea how it's gonna turn out, and there's constant challenges, and as you grow as well, it's there's so many different things you have to think about. It's you're you're you're creating a culture, you're creating a business, you're growing a team. It's not just about the technical part of creating the physical app, it's it's also about managing people, um, face making big decisions. It's yeah, it's it's hard. It's hard and it can it's all it's all consuming. But I'm so passionate about it and so driven and determined because I feel like this is my purpose to the to to you know make to kind of serve single parents globally. I really feel like this has been my calling. Um, I know that sounds very woo-woo, but I I truly believe it. So it's like I will give it all my sweats, blood, and tears, you know, and I and I will continue to do so until I see it um in every corner of the globe helping single parents feel empowered. Um, but it's yeah, one piece one thing I wish I knew that it would be so, so hard. Like it's it's not for the faint-hearted, it really isn't.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

Yeah. We're coming towards the end of our questions, but I wanted to ask you what's your three non-negotiables in terms of values, your values.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Oh, good one.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Um integrity. Integrity. Um Transparency. Like being completely transparent. And authenticity.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

I think if we show up authentically, uh, and I expect people to show up authentically as well. I think those were kind of my three my three non-negotiables. So integrity, transparency, and authenticity. I never actually thought of that. I'm gonna write those down. I've never really thought about that. And I and I would say it's it's it would be the same values in business and in relationships. Yes. Actually. So yeah, if anyone is listening and uh wants a date, you know, those are my three non-negotiables.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

And um, I just wanted to ask you if people wanted to find you, they wanted to know a little bit more about your business and app, what are your handles?

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Thank you, Faith. So yeah, you can find us on um uh Instagram or YouTube or TikTok. So we're the handle is go to playdate. So G-O-T-O Playdate. Um, and you can also find me on LinkedIn um and you can connect with me. Um, I'm happy to speak to anyone who's a single parent or wants to just chat about navigating dating or navigating life as a single parent. I'm here to to with open arms um and ears to to yeah to help uh speak, chat to anyone. Happy to give my time to single parents.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

Thank you so so much. I am so grateful for this conversation, and I wish you all the success in your um dating app. I think it's fantastic, and I know that it's going to do well, you know. Thank you, thank you so much. I will say to myself and other people, I interviewed that lady. Look, she's famous now. Thank you for giving me the time. Um because I know time is precious for all of us, so I'm I'm really, really grateful.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Um, thank you. Thank you for giving me the platform to to tell my story and to share my learnings. I we I really appreciate your time as well, Faith. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

Yeah, you're most welcome.