The Woman Behind C-Lash: Cody Gapare’s Journey

 EPISODE 10 

This week on the podcast, I’m honoured to be joined by Cody Gapare—a multi-award-winning inventor, Managing Director, and breast cancer survivor whose story is nothing short of extraordinary.

Cody is the creator of C-Lash, the world’s first false eyelashes designed specifically for cancer and alopecia sufferers. Launched in collaboration with Eylure during her own battle with breast cancer, C-Lash has gone on to revolutionise the beauty industry and is now available in over eight countries worldwide. Her work has been recognised across major platforms including the BBC, Vogue, This Morning, and Elle USA.

Beyond entrepreneurship, Cody is a certified ATEX technician, TEDx speaker, former lecturer, and a mentor for the government-backed Help to Grow programmesupporting SMEs while championing innovation, resilience, and purpose-driven leadership.

 In this episode, we dive into her journey, her mission, and the powerful movement she’s building through C-Lash.
This is a conversation about courage, creativity, and purpose—one you don’t want to miss. Connect with Cody & C-Lash:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cody-gapare-cmgr-mcmi-mba-a37096a2/
Website: https://ladder13.co.uk/about
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/c.lashbycody/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/codilia.gapare

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

My guest today is Cody Kapari, award-winning inventor and breast cancer survivor, best known as the creator of Clash, the world's first false eyelashes designed specifically for cancer and alopesia sufferers. Before we go any further, I'll just get Cody to introduce herself.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Thank you very much, Faith, and thank you so much for having me. So I'm gonna tell you a little bit about myself and Eunice, like how I got to be here. So, who I am, I am obviously I am the lady who came up with the idea of Silash. Um, I'm also a Justice of the Peace. I sit in the Greater Manchester area. Uh I also support small and medium business enterprises as a mentor and a coach. I am a lecturer at the University of Law, and I don't know. Um, what else can I say about myself? C-lash, what can I say about Clash? I invented C-lash during my own battle with cancer back in 2015, and it launched in 2019 in boots, uh, exclusive in blues booths, but it was in collaboration with ILO. ILO is the company that helped me to get C-lash to market, and so far to date, we've won, I think, off the top of my head, maybe about around 15 awards for myself and the brand itself, uh, and both in the UK and abroad. Uh, but that's basically me in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Okay, thank you so much for that introduction. So, um, before all this started, um, who were you before you created C-Lash, before the global recognition?

SPEAKER_01 2:00

I think I've always been a girl with a dream. So if you look back, um recently I went back home actually, and the reason I'm saying this is it's really important. When I went back home in January, I went back to my high school where uh I did my all-levels. We call them all levels, they call just them GCC here. And it was such a humbling experience to see where I come from because when I went to this school, I actually had applied to another school and I couldn't get in because my results from I was I was coming from a different school. The results that I brought to this new school were so bad that the school of my choice wouldn't take me. So I went to the school that was called in that in my area where I grew up, it was called the School of Last Hope. They would take anybody. So last hope. School of Last Hope. Yeah, and I went there because I had no other choice. I was the only school that was going to take me because I wasn't very academically bright. Uh, but the one thing that I remember about myself for as far back as I can remember is I'd always wanted to be a lawyer. So despite the fact that I wasn't bright, despite the fact that I knew that I could never be a lawyer, I just that was the dream growing up, you know. When people ask you, what you want to be, says, I'm gonna be a lawyer, I want to be a lawyer. Uh so I think that dream, I left Zimbabwe in 2004 and I carried it over to here, to the UK. And I think, yeah, my journey started with probably at the back of my mind, that girl who always wanted to be a lawyer. And I think that's where it all started, that's who I was before C Light started.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah, and how did um during your visits to um to the school, how did the pupils, how did they take it? I bet you they were very excited to see you.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

So when I went, I went back because I just wanted to see some of my old teachers, and I didn't think they would remember me, and I didn't think they would be there. You know, it's like I'm gonna show my age now. I left school over 30 years ago. Okay, and I didn't think any of my teachers came with me. I I didn't think any of them were still there and everything, and I got there, and I quite a number of them were there, and they were still because I transformed so much in this school, I ended up being um close to some of the teachers that didn't even teach me because I would go and ask for help from even teachers that were outside of units, like my my my immediate teachers that were teaching me. So it was really nice to go and see them. And then the really nice thing that then happened is I was then invited to come and address the students on the because I went on a Friday and I said, Would you come back on Monday and speak to the students? And I had a chance to address the students, and there was a moment when I stopped and thought, I used to be standing exactly where some of the students are standing. This used to be me a few years ago, and this is still the school where people probably do not think that, you know, it's like the the the headmaster was saying some some people when they leave the school, they do not want to tell people that they came to the school. But I'm so proud of that school, and I was just thinking it all started here. I left this place with seven GCSEs. I came here with I had passed two subjects from this past school, and I left with seven GCSEs, so it was quite a transformation. So it was it was nice to go back, and it was nice to go back in a positive way, not because something bad had happened. It was just like, I want to come back here because I've got good memories of this place, yeah. Um, and it was it was it was surreal.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

That's that's amazing. So, what message did you leave, you know, the the people there? What positive message or motivational message?

SPEAKER_01 6:03

I think the biggest thing that I wanted to convey is, and and I think I actually said to the kids, your limit, your situation is not your limitation. Whatever this is for you, if you think you're limited by this green and cream uniform that you're wearing, I used to wear that uniform. If you think you're limited by the country that you're in or the name of the school, I was you at one point with no access to things that you think you need access to. So just because you're in this situation now, it's not that's not what's going to limit you. What's going to limit you is what's in here because you need to conquer yourself before you can conquer the world.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Amazing, amazing. I also heard you say in a um in a street interview. I don't know whether you can elaborate that the dream, dreams are free, but the hustle is sold separately.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

Absolutely, because it's dreaming is easy, and it's like I I think we've all at one point dreamed of I, you know, I want to be a millionaire, or I want to have a massive big business, or I want to, we can all do that. And you're allowed, and you should, you absolutely should, and your beam, your dreams should be ridiculously big. But after you've dreamed, after you finish dreaming, what you need to do is then roll up your sleeves and then go to work to achieve those dreams. Because when we talk about dreaming, we're not the we're not talking about the dreams that you have while you're asleep. We're talking about those dreams that stop you from going to sleep at night, that keep you awake from night from going to sleep. If your dream is stopping you from sleeping because you're sitting up at night thinking about that dream, roll up your sleeves and go for that dream.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Amazing, amazing. So, one of the things I wanted to ask you as well, um, from you you said you're from Zimbabwe, is it? Yeah, yeah. Were there any restrictions, you being a woman or you know, growing up or even just restrictions? Because I know sometimes growing up in an African household can be you know quite strict and limiting sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I so I I don't I don't know. The African I I think because because I'm a pan-Africanist and I go back, I I I had the I had the good fortune of growing up with the parents that I had. So I wouldn't say that the strictness was a limitation on me as a girl child. I think the strictness was my parents doing the best they could at the time with what they had. And my dad was one of the people in my life who used to say to me, if I have to sell my kidney to make sure you go as far as you want in school, then I'll do it. He was very encouraging, and even with him realizing that I really struggled at school, he used to say to me, I know you're intelligent. When I speak to you, I can tell you're intelligent. I don't know why you don't get in school, but you used to spend so much time talking to me about politics, sports, you know, um culture, and and and this is why I say some of the cultural things that happened to people in Africa that seemingly like it was oppressive. You used to talk like if you go back to some of our cultures that look negative now, where they come from, there was a really positive spin on some of these things. They were interpreted differently. I'm going off pist here. But uh, I what I what I would like to just say is I think I was lucky because with all my limitations and with all the things around me, you know, socio-economical things that were impacting me negatively, I grew up in a family that was full of love and laughter and encouragement and that encouraged potential. So there was the bigger country that was Zimbabwe. And at that time, and even now I think there is a lot that is positive in Zimbabwe. But there might have been, you know, it's like bigger things happening between us. But as a child, inside my little cocoon that was my house, yeah, we had a mom and a dad who understood that you know, it's like you can be whoever you want to be, and that was instilled inside all of us. Like, if you want to go out and conquer the world, don't let us stop you. You can do that.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Wow, that's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. So I'm going to go on to the next um question that I have here. Um, take us into your life before. I think you've probably mentioned it um before breast cancer. And what was life like for you at the time? And when was the first time you discovered something wasn't quite right?

SPEAKER_01 11:16

So there wasn't there wasn't like a massive transition. I think the whole I've got breast cancer, and it all happened. So I literally got out of the shower. And I remember it was uh it was the last day, it was it was the the it run around the 30th, the 31st of July, right? It was the end of July. I know that definitely. I get out of the shower, I'm going to work. It's this is first thing in the morning, I get out of the shower, and I am uh putting on moisturizer, and I just happened by chance to pass my hand over my my right breast, and I felt something that was like not quite right, and I kind of went again and I felt it again, so I'm like, okay, I'm not imagining it. And obviously, this point, you know, everywhere we see that if you find a lamb in your breast, you have to go to the hospital. So immediately I didn't even hesitate. And and that was one of the things that was a saving that saved me because I could have like women normally with like, oh, I I need to go to work and I've got to pick up my kids and stuff, I'll do it some other day. Immediately, that very day, I called my manager, and uh fortunately she was amazing. Called and I said, Um, I need to go to the hospital, something is up. I'll tell you when I come in. He says, No, that's fine. Don't need to uh worry about anything, go to the hospital, get it sorted. I went to the doctors, our local doctor, um, and I said, I'm not booked in, but I need, I really need to see a doctor. Receptionist was amazing. They allowed me to go see a doctor, and the doctor said, Yep, there is definitely a lamp. Uh, but are you are you losing weight? Are you losing your appetite? Are you having sleeplessness? None of that. So he says, I'm gonna send you to the hospital to have a biopsy anyway, uh, because I I just want to eliminate everything. So immediately was booked in to go and have a biopsy. I went, I think it was literally the next day or the day after, I went and I had a biopsy, and they said, You're coming back 10 days later to get the results. So I went. On the other side, what was happening is remember my dream of becoming a lawyer. I had gone and I'd done MVQs and I had enough points to go into uni. And I had applied to go and I got a reply to say you're supposed to come for your for your final interview. Done everything that needed to be done. My final interview was on the 11th of August. This is 2014. Coincidentally, the results of my biopsy was on the same day, 11th of August. So the results were coming out about three. I had a three o'clock appointment. My interview was at six in the evening. I live in Cheshire, this is in Manchester. So I remember getting to work. I'd already spoken to my boss that I'm working till lunch because I'm going to the hospital. Worked until lunch, went to the hospital, but at that time, because I was I was really young and I didn't the initial panic had subsided by that time. So I didn't think that it would be anything serious. So I didn't tell anybody, I didn't cancel my appointment. I wasn't worried, I wasn't prepared for anything. I was just like, oh, I'm going for my results and I'm going to uni for my interview.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

So I got there and I was told you've got breast cancer. And obviously, I didn't know how to react. I I don't know how your support, I don't know the right way to react, actually, you know. But for me, I think I went into fix it mode. My brain knew that if I if if if I fall apart now, I can never collect myself again. So the thing that I did was focus on what was in front of me, my interview. I need to go to Manchester Metropolitan University. I need to do my interview. That's what became my focus. And I think that was just me trying to hold it together. I can't control this that's happening right here, but this I can control. So I'm gonna concentrate on what I can control. So I just remember leaving the hospital, going home, changing into like formal outfit, and going to have an interview. And I had my interview, uh, which went really well until the lady said to me, Well, is there anything that you you can tell us that you need support with or that might interfere with your studies? And at that point, I had to come out and say, I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer. And I think she was she kind of thought I I I I'd said I'd said that whole statement wrong because like when you say you've just been diagnosed, when is it just and I was just like, Well, about three hours ago. I bet she was she shocked, like she was shocked because she she says, So what what what what where what are you doing here? Why did you come? And I remember just saying to her, you know, um I've wanted to do this for the longest time. And and I think that that answer still comes back to me every single time I'm struggling with things in life. Because what I said to her was, I've wanted to do something, but I'd wanted to be a lawyer for the longest time. And today I've received the news that can absolutely derail my dream. But I can't let cancer be the book of my life, I can only ever allow it to be a chapter of my life. So cancer cannot define me, but what I'm doing right here will define me. I know it will. And the reason I go back to that answer is because it became the one truest statement I've ever said in my life. That moment defined me. I didn't know how much at that time, but I was literally talking my future into being. That moment defined me, and I became a girl with a dream to a girl who just went out there and lived life like I you know, I there's a lady who said drink while drink life while it still has fees. That's what I've chosen to do.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

Yeah, amazing, amazing.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

So after that happened on that day, when you went back home, I mean, obviously you couldn't celebrate, but was there like a big emotional relief, or how how did you take it in terms of like you know do you know it was a whirlwind because there was I was uh I was relieved that I had gone through the interview, not the whole cancer thing that that was picked away because I didn't feel safe at that time. Because remember, my parents, my brothers, my sisters, they're all back home in Zim. I was here with my two boys, and the person who was and to the for the most part is still my support and my biggest support, and he's he's been the one constant in my life, is my ex-husband. Yeah, so that was the person that I called at that time, and I said, you know, um, and I remember uh no, actually, he called me because he knew he was the only person who knew that I was going for my um for my results, and then it was getting late and late, and I he hasn't he hasn't heard from me. So then he then calls me and is like, Did you go to the hospital? I was like, Yeah, I went to the hospital, but you know what? Then I went to MMU and I did my interview, and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what did they say? The hospital, well, they said um the lamp the found they found cancer, but then um the because I was just trying to dance around the reality that I had to face, um, and even to this day, you said it made it so difficult for us to support you because you didn't let anybody into that space became a sacred space that nobody could get into. So we didn't know how best to support you, and it's something that I have spoken about when you're going through something like that. Allow people in, let people help you, not only because it makes the journey easier for you, but the people who are hurting because you're hurting, they heal by allowing you to walk with them. They they they will find their own healing by walking with you, you know. While I was doing great and I was doing all these things and I was dancing around the issue, everybody else was just waiting for me to sort of like, okay, this is this is what I need you to do for me. But they never got through, especially my kids. I handled that whole situation. In my the African in me who is strong, who is like the strong black woman. I can do it by myself. I don't I'm trying to protect my kids. I didn't protect them. I just didn't give them a chance to talk about what how how they were feeling, how they would have wanted to handle this situation from their own perspective. I made a lot of decisions that I thought were protective, but actually I would do it differently today.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Okay. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Um, and also you know, I had a conversation with um with someone actually last week about cancer, and uh the lady she invented an app um so that people can detect early cancer in the diaspora. Some of the things that came out in that interview is that some people don't like to talk about it because of the shame around it, um, or because of the stigma. Did you feel anything like that at all? Or not really?

SPEAKER_01 21:46

I did, I did. Um, and it's for me it's difficult to talk about because, like I say, I am strong, and sometimes my strength can look like I am uncaring because. Because I can very much put things in compartments and leave them there because at that time I realized that I needed to survive. There were things that happened then that changed me forever. And there are some spaces where I refuse to talk about my cancer journey because of the way things were handled. But it for me, it's such a sensitive topic that it's I don't think I would ever be comfortable to speak about it. Because people have got different beliefs and different ways of looking at life and everything. But absolutely, I think the best thing when you're supporting somebody with cancer is they're the ones that are going through whatever they're going through. Some people like to talk about, some people don't. Some people um like people around them, some people like isolation, some people we are all different, and there is no right way or wrong way of going through cancer. So I think all I can say on that because there's a massive big page of my life during that time that I refuse to address because it makes me I'm not productive when I'm in in that space where I'm just angry. Like I just needed you to be there for me in the way that was comfortable for me, and that wasn't given. And I'm not talking about my, you know, it's like my kids or my ex-husband or anything, but then there was sort of like a wider um people not in my circle who then yeah, made me feel like there was a scripted way of doing things. What I needed and what I wanted didn't matter, and I think that is what I find with people. I don't know that if you were to ask me how should people respond to someone going through cancer, I couldn't tell you because I'm an individual, uh, somebody else, and we all react differently. But all I can say is listen to the person who's going through whatever because you're trying to support them. But what you can't do is prescribe how that support comes, and you can't know better than they do what should be done about them. Even if somebody is choosing to say, I don't want to fight anymore, and you love them and you want them here and stuff like that. I think when you get to those spaces, I think people should have um there should be a lot of delicate operation around the conversations about what people want and expect and need during that time.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Yeah. Thank you. So during your treatments, how how did you come about C-lash in terms of did you lose your um eyelashes during treatments?

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Yeah, so I I I we we've all heard about you know, it's like cancer from the beginning of time when we were growing up, we used to hear not as prevalent as it's now, but then it's always been around, we've always known, we've always been scared of, you know, it's like I hope I never get cancer. But the one thing that we knew was cancer is associated with the loss of hair. Yeah, for me, I think, and a lot of other people that I spoke to since we assume it's the hair on your head, that hair. And even when you're seeing cancer being depicted in movies and stuff, those people have got immaculate eyebrows, they've got immaculate lashes and stuff like that. The truth is not everybody who goes through chemotherapy loses because it's chemotherapy in particular that makes you lose your hair. Yes, not everybody who goes through chemotherapy will lose their hair, and not everybody who goes through chemotherapy will lose. Some people will lose their hair, but then they will keep their eyebrows and eyelashes. I was part of you know that group of people that lost everything, you know, my the hair under my arms, my pubes, everything. I was literally because I didn't know the wigs didn't bother me. I knew I needed to get a wig, but I didn't realize that my eyebrows would go. I didn't realize my eyelashes would go. So when my lashes started to go, I panicked. My eyebrows, I drew them on with a pen. Not convenient, but then I could cover the fact that my lashes were going. My eyebrows were going. With the lashes, it was a different case. I found it because I hadn't worn really, I wasn't a big makeup person before the cancer diagnosis. I really struggled to wear no more lashes because they were sort of like resting on my existing lashes. And either every time I took them off, they took what remaining lashes I had, or I just couldn't find where to place the lashes. And I thought there's gonna be a better way of doing this. So it started with that frustration of I want to look like myself because I went through a period of just after the denial, then came the depression. And how I got out of that depression, or how what helped was me looking as good as I could. I mean, I've posted a picture, I think it's the only existing picture because at that time I wasn't sort of like I struggled accepting what was happening to me. So there's one picture that existed, and I was I had a full face of makeup, and I posted it on my Facebook recently to celebrate World Cancer Day, and you couldn't tell that apart from the fact that I don't have hair in that picture, you couldn't tell that I had uh I was going through cancer treatment. And I used to call that my makeup in heels. That was not a special day, it was just I decided that every single day I would wake up, put makeup on, put a really nice dress on, put high heels on. And that is what I used to call my makeup and heel, my makeup in heels um tactic. That's how I kind of got through what I was going through. Um and I I then struggled with not looking the best that I could because my lashes were gone. So the whole journey of seal I started with, I still want to look as good as I can. In fact, better than I did before I had cancer. So I still want to have lashes. I can't wear these lashes because I don't know how best to wear them. So I'm gonna try and find a lash that I can wear. That's how the whole conversation started. And then I just sat at my kitchen table, tinkering with lashes, trying different things, and eventually came up with sea lash, got it put in.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Did you have sleepless nights?

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I do know what I did. I I was having sleepless nights anyway because I was the the the the medication was stopping me from sleeping. So instead of just you know, it's like looking at the ceiling, I was up, you know, back off an envelope, like Richard Branson will say, just sketching and trying to find, you know, like a solution. And how do I do this? And asking people when I was going for uh treatment in the in the waiting room, I'll be talking to other patients, and then I'll be talking to the nurses and the doctors, and then asking them loads of questions. Um, at that time I was doing market research. I just didn't know that I was doing market research because, well, I'd never run a business before, but yeah, I I had loads of sleepless nights, especially when I finally kind of figured how I wanted Clash to look. And now I'm thinking about okay, so how do I then get it made? How do I do this? What materials do I use? You know, there were a lot of things. It started with okay, I want to make lashes, but then it's one thing saying that, it's another thing, like really actually going into the whole process of bringing a new product to market because there are products that you can copy, but then they get to a point where now you're on your own. Now, from here on, it has to be you who has to come up with the next step, and there's no script that exists except your vision and that thing that is driving you forward.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

Amazing, amazing. And how did you approach the company you used? Did you just write letters or I did.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

I I I just I did the things the old-fashioned way. I kept just calling, you know, it's like I was calling all the companies that I I was going on Google sometimes, just looking for phone numbers on Google. I I know now there are better ways of doing what I did, but I didn't know. And I've I've always said to people, you know, it's like people would come when I'm when I'm mentoring people, I've been doing things the wrong way and stuff. And I said, No, it's when people do things their own way, not you know, it's like it's it's easier when there's somebody who's showing you the way, but sometimes we discover new ways of doing things because somebody went off and do things in a different way, and then by mistake, we'll find a new way of doing things. So it's not always a bad thing when you go off. For me, I think that's what kept me going. The fact that I didn't know when I was doing things the wrong way, I was just going and I was doing it, and um because initially I didn't know how to articulate properly what I was trying to do, so it was hard for people to help me because I I I had never pitched a business before, I'd never run a business before. So I there was a lot of gaps in my knowledge, but this there's also a lot of gaps in my delivery to people that were supposed to help me. So I had to go and do what my son was in primary school, you used to talk about show and tell. There was a lot of show and tell that I had to do because I couldn't say it properly, so I had to show people what I needed or what I was trying to do, and I think that worked. So yeah, I I couldn't believe it when I eventually got a call back from Boots, and I was like, Oh, you're talking about this life? Can we can we see it? And then I went, pitched the idea, they loved it, and then they introduced me to ILO. This there's a whole other long, long story about how that happened, but it's a story for another day. But yeah, Boots really loved the idea. Introduced me to ILO. ILO like would love to work with you. Everything that I would always say about ILO, I hear a lot of horror stories about collaborating with massive big companies. I was and still am included every step of the way. Amazing. They they allowed me to keep my products, they allowed me to keep the integrity of what I was trying to create, and they still do that to this day. So um it became a partnership. I wasn't just like they didn't just like okay, we'll take it from here, you can go. No, I am still very much a part of that product. I'm still very much involved in everything that happens with it.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Amazing. So I'm just going to ask you this question. So if it's launching in another country, do you actually go there and present it or is there a how how does it work?

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Um sometimes not so much now, because it's like um the the the ironic thing is when it was launching for in say America, it was during COVID. I was supposed to go to America, it launched in 2020 in America in all greens. I couldn't go. Last minute we're talking about okay, we're going to go to America. I couldn't go because there was COVID. When it launched in um uh Finland, Norway, and Denmark, it was during COVID. We did the launch online because I couldn't go. So then after that, it just like it just took a life of its own. And you know, it's like sometimes I hear my friend went to Gibraltar and she sent me a picture of Selah. So it's it's it's like sometimes I find out that it's in a certain country, and I I am not because it's not so much that well, I should know that it's in it. How do you not know? It's because like some companies have got branches in other countries, so it tends to sort of like go to countries where I haven't directly been involved in it ending up in certain countries. So this is why I say, you know, it's like I I don't know how many countries we're in now because it's like some people would make that decision that is removed from directly from us because we we sell um B2B, so we don't know what happens when that business buys the life from us, and and but I I know that it is helping people um all around the world.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

And how does that make you feel, knowing that you've transformed people's lives, you know, even people that you would you would never meet? How does that make you feel?

SPEAKER_01 35:12

I don't think that there is a way, there is a word or a sentence or even a paragraph or a whole book to convey how because every so often I forget. It for me, it's it's like it's like your mom is really proud of you, but then you're just you and you're just doing and one day something happens, or somebody comes to you and is like, I was talking to your mom, and your mom was like, Oh my goodness, faith is and it it hits you once again, like, oh my goodness, that's how my mom feels about me. I think it's like that with silly. Sometimes I get bogged down in you know the things that I have to do with the product, uh, the work that goes behind you, like the stuff that is not the sexy stuff, and then um something happens and somebody says something, or you meet somebody in the streets and they know who you are, or you're somewhere and somebody tells you a story. It happened to me actually on Monday. Somebody told me a story and I was in tears because the story was really touching. I can't repeat it because it's starting confidence, but this was somebody that I met somewhere that I wasn't expecting them to know who I was, and they told me this really, really, really touching story. And it's what it does is it serves as um reset button for me to know that the work matters, what I'm doing makes a difference, it really does matter. What does the C stand for? Everybody has been asking, and and and I think I I I purposely called it C like because I did some people think it stands for codia, some people think it stands for cancer, it stands for neither. C is what you want it to be because when I was going through cancer, the people that I met were not did not have the C-word because that's what we used to call cancer the C word. And it used really it used to really frustrate me to say we've taken a whole letter in the alphabet and given it to this really distractive word, destructive disease. So I want to reclaim the C-word. C stands for the people that I met, they were connected, they can do attitude, they were a community, they were cute, they were courageous, they were you know it's like they they were anything that is positive, that is the C. And if that day you're looking for courage, then that day C is for courage. If that day you're going on a date, maybe C is for cuteness. If that day you are looking to finish your your assignment, C is for can do attitude. So C is whatever positive word you want it to be. It is yours to do what you want with.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

I'm just honestly, I'm so blown away by our interview. I'm just blown away. So I'm just going to ask you if somebody was watching and they were going through a difficult time, maybe through an illness, and you know, they just feel like they have no purpose anymore. What would you say to that person?

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Um, no one is ever defined by one thing that happens in life. So when you're going through something, you you're in a silo, it it feels like your whole life is consumed by this thing. But I always say, for me, I always say, is this thing that I'm going through still matter as much to me six weeks from now? Six months from now, six years from now. And it puts things in perspective. So if in six weeks it doesn't matter anymore, then maybe it's not a big deal. If in six months it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe it's a big deal, we have to deal with it, but it just puts things into it, it allows you to take a massive big thing and put it into a place that is digestible. You know, it's like people say, How do you eat an elephant one small bite at a time? You know. So if you look at a whole elephant, it just looks so daunting. But also the other thing is do not try and go through things by yourself. Women, we really bet that um we always want to be strong, we always want to be able to protect other things, people by not looking for help. Looking for help and asking for help, and you know it's like accepting help, there is no greater courage than saying, please help me, I can't do it by myself. And if no one is offering the help, even greater courage is going to people and they say, I know I'm looking like I can handle it, I know I look like I can do it alone, but right now I need you because people are always willing, people are waiting to come and help you. And be clear about what that kind of what the help is, and be clear where your boundaries are, especially if you're going through something as big as you know, it's like cancer or anything similar. So don't sit there and suffer because sometimes some people will come into your space and they've got good intentions and trying to help you and stuff, and then this is where people get upset. Like she came and she was telling me what to do and stuff like that. Sometimes it's not because that person is trying to tell you they're just doing the best they can, they've never been here before with somebody who's been through what you're going through. Be clear what you want, be clear how far you want the help to go, and when you need time to get time to yourself, demand it. I know you want to be here, you want to help me, but right now I need you to go and leave me alone because no one will purposely go out and try and upset you. But ask for help, but be clear about where your boundaries are.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. So we're coming up to our final questions. Actually, we've got two questions left, but just wanted to ask you what are the three values you live by?

SPEAKER_01 41:42

The three values I live by. I think the first thing is for I think my life has changed, right? I used to for the longest time, and I still do. I think that's the first value. Can't is not a doing word, can't as in C-A-N apostrophe T. Can't is not a doing word. If you say can't, you've you've defeated yourself already. That's the first thing. The second thing is this is me, and this is me to a T. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking too much space. Go out there, live your life. It's the only one. No one is coming back this way again. No one is getting out of this world alive. So if you want to go and visit that country by yourself, I have traveled since I've since I've um finished treatment. I don't know how many countries I've gone by myself, you know. Um, for my birthday, not last year, the year before, I decided that I was going to do three countries in 24 hours for my birthday. So I had breakfast in France, uh, lunch in Monaco, and dinner in Italy. There is so many things. I I know I have jumped out of a plane by myself, not with with a uh thingy. I have I have done a lot of things, and suddenly, if you do one thing, you find you can do another, and then you've got this news for life to go and do things. So that's that's the third thing. And also, I think the most important thing, and and I'm finding this as I'm getting older, is the relationship, the importance of the relationship that you have around you. There are people, your inner circle, nature those relationships, find time to replenish those relationships, find time to reconnect with people that met. I mean, I I think I spent time not talking to my sister, who's my biggest, biggest, closest friend, my my my first friend in life. And I when when we finally got together, and I was looking into her eyes, and I just like, I missed you so much, and I love you so much. Much and because life sometimes happens, we forget those people that mean so much to us that you you can't breathe without having them around you. Um, don't get too bogged down with life that you forget those relationships because when life gets tough, those are the relationships that will carry you through.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

Amazing. So that comes to the end of our interview. If um our audience was to find you, where would you like them to find you?

SPEAKER_01 44:33

I think um the biggest space that I'm on, I'm on LinkedIn as Cody Gapare. And I'm on um I'm on Instagram. Now this is gonna show my age. I think it's C. Everything will be put in the yeah, I think it's uh C dotlash, I think. Um and yeah, I'm on Facebook is Cordelia Gapare, but I think if you go to LinkedIn and Facebook and Instagram, that's where you you'll find me.

SPEAKER_00 45:06

That's so you find you you you also mentor um people through is it 13 ladders? Is it letter 13? Letter 13. Okay, yeah, absolutely. Right, okay. Thank you so so much for this, and I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

No, no, thank you for you know for pushing for this interview again so busy, and then we finally, you know, we've rescheduled this so many times.