Mind Life In English Podcast - My Dating App Rant

Mind Life In English Podcast - My Dating App Rant - Dating apps have completely changed the way people connect, communicate, and build relationships. But are they really helping us — or making things more complicated?
In this honest, unfiltered, and thought-provoking episode of Mind Life In English, host Profe Lao shares a personal rant about the modern dating app experience — exploring the frustrations, expectations, and realities behind online connections.
This episode is not just about dating.
It’s about communication, culture, and human behavior in the digital age.
🎙️ What You’ll Explore in This Episode
🔹 1. The Reality of Dating Apps
Take a deeper look into how dating apps actually work in real life:
• First impressions and profile culture
• Messaging habits and communication styles
• The pressure to appear “perfect”
• The difference between online and real-life personality
🔹 2. Common Frustrations
This episode dives into real and relatable issues:
• Ghosting and lack of communication
• Superficial judgments
• Misleading profiles
• Emotional disconnect in digital conversations
🔹 3. Communication in the Digital World
Learn how dating apps reflect modern communication:
• Short, fast, and often unclear messages
• The role of tone and misunderstanding
• Why real connection is harder online
🔹 4. Cultural and Social Perspective
Explore how dating apps connect to broader ideas:
• Changing relationship expectations
• Influence of culture on dating behavior
• The balance between convenience and authenticity
🔹 5. Learn Real English Through Real Topics
This episode helps you:
• Improve listening with natural, expressive English
• Understand casual speaking style and emotional tone
• Learn real-life vocabulary used in modern conversations
• Experience authentic storytelling and opinion-based speech
🎯 Who This Episode Is For
✔️ Intermediate and advanced English learners
✔️ Listeners interested in modern culture and relationships
✔️ Learners who want to understand real conversational English
✔️ Anyone who enjoys honest, opinion-based discussions
🧠 Cultural Insight
Technology makes connection easier —
But real communication is still complicated.
Understanding language also means understanding how people interact in real life.
🎧 Final Thought
Sometimes, the best way to learn English is through real opinions, real emotions, and real conversations.
And this episode brings exactly that.
🚀 Call to Action
If you enjoyed this episode:
⭐ Follow Mind Life In English
⭐ Share it with friends
⭐ Keep improving your English through real conversations
🔖 Suggested Tags (SEO Optimized)
Dating Apps, Modern Relationships, Real English Podcast, English Listening Practice, Learn English, English Fluency, Mind Life In English, Profe Lao, Communication Skills, Everyday English

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And we're back. We're back with what is this, my fourth long video? If you don't count the sleeping learn English while you sleep video, but this is my new podcast style type videos, podcast style videos, podcast type videos, where I am cutting out long pauses, but I'm not cutting out filler words. So this is natural English. This is natural English podcast. Alright, welcome back. Or if this is your first time, nice to meet you. My name is Lau. You can call me Lau. Today I will be talking about a topic that I hope my intention with this topic is not to offend people. My top my my intention with this topic is just more on the side of entertainment and also obviously, obviously, always to help you with your English. So you can listen to real English, spoken about different topics, you know, it's basically the same way that I would talk to my friends who are native speakers or have a high level of English. I am currently in Lima, Peru. It is Sunday here, so it's a bit crazy with I always say that every video. But it's there's even if it's not Sunday, there's a lot of traffic. But on Sunday, there's less traffic, but there are a lot of people playing music. Music. Somebody, I think, very close by, blasting, absolutely blasting music, probably is killing their eardrums. Probably they probably can't even hear themselves think it's so loud. Um, but yeah, so I am feeling the vibration in my apartment from the music. So if you're also getting that vibration, I I'm pretty good at the audio editing, but uh, and this microphone's good and whatever, but like uh if you're getting any music vibrations or anything, that's that's what it is. All right. As I was saying, my intention with this topic is to, besides, apart from helping you with your English, um, you know, talking in English about different topics and whatnot, I'm also doing this for entertainment. I'm doing it because it's fun, it's it's interesting, it's a it's a fun and funny topic. If you don't know the difference between fun and funny, you need to know the difference. Um, it's both fun and funny. I will be talking about something that could be a bit sensitive for some people, but I want you to take it as constructive criticism. My intention is it's not hating just to hate, it's like constructive criticism. I'm gonna tell you, okay, I don't like this, this is how you should do it. And and you don't have to listen to me, you don't have to take my advice, you don't have to agree with me. Um, this is just my platform. I'm just gonna voice my honest opinion. And yeah, so today I'm gonna be talking about dating apps, particularly Bumble, because I feel like that is the most commonly used dating app at the moment across Latin America, which is where I am most of the time. Um so that's the one I'm gonna be talking about. I use Bumble sometimes, and I'm gonna be sharing about my experience with it, my opinions about it, about the app itself, and then also I'm gonna talk about my issue with or my critique of profiles. I only see men's profiles, I don't see women's profiles on the apps because I am just looking for men. Um but I have talked to guy friends that I have. I have talked to guys and they have told me about things that they know about the apps that I didn't know or um their perspective and what they see on women's profiles. But in this video, I'm not gonna be talking about women's profiles because that's not what I see. I'm sure there that there are a ton of problems or things that I wouldn't like about women's profiles. But in this video, I'm just gonna talk about men's profiles because that's what I see. And from what my male friends have told me and what I have gathered, what I have realized is that men tend to get a small, very small number of matches, if any at all. So there's a lot of guys who don't even get any matches. There are guys who get, you know, a couple matches a month or something, like very few, uh maybe once a month. And then there's a small, small amount of guys who get the majority of the matches or who get a lot of matches. So, but a lot of guys are not getting very many matches. Whereas women, we get hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of matches. Okay. This is just a fact. I'm this is not like it's just it's just the way it is. I am constant I am a I'm a like a nomad, like a digital nomad, and I'm always going around to different cities and uh different countries. And when I land in a in a new city, in a big city, and I I put my uh bumble profile on, I activate it, I can just leave that there for a good week and come back, and there's hundreds, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. Um, and I'm sure that local women who live there are also getting a lot of matches. I am aware that I'm the foreigner, so I'm the new girl and I'm the foreigner when I do that. So, you know, maybe it's like maybe a little bit more attention grabbing, you know, maybe a little more interesting. But I think that a lot of women get um a lot of matches, a lot more than men do. At least at least women get more matches than men. So so even if there are problems with women's profiles, which of course there is, I'm sure a lot of women have bad profiles and they need to do better, but they are not like struggling to get matches. So I think maybe we need to help some guys improve their profiles to do better with matches. And it may not help. It may just, it might just be the fact that, you know, as women, we are so selective. We have to be. Uh, I always say this, I I have to be extremely, extremely selective because, yeah, because I have uh certain standards. Um I am looking for a very particular type of person with particular traits, particular things. I'm not gonna get in in in this video, I'm not gonna get into the kind of person that I'm looking for because that's not really the point of the video. That's not really relevant. Uh regardless of who I am looking for, what kind of person, um it's there are certain things that I value that is like part of the minority. Like, like I don't how do I say this? Like, um the majority of women don't uh place so much value on certain things that I value. Like, for example, I am vegan, um, right? I'm vegan, I'm a vegan activist. It's very important for me the vegan philosophy. Okay. So it's not that I would never date someone who's not vegan, but I definitely have in the past. But I'm always going to place a ton of value on people who are, or people who are interested in that versus people who are not even interested in that, people who are very strongly against it or or not interested at all. Um, I'm not gonna have a lot of interest in these kind of people. So that's just one of many examples. But basically, there are certain things that I look for in people that is hard to find in the majority. Um so I will get these hundreds of matches, and I will only end up swiping uh yes. I'm just gonna say swiping yes and swiping no because I don't remember which is right and which is left. I don't know, it I don't care, it's confusing. So I'm just gonna say swiping yes and swiping no, which swiping yes means that um I like your profile and we match and we can chat. And swiping no means I get rid of your profile and I don't see it again. So I'm not interested. So actually, I misspoke. It's not that I get hundreds of matches, it's that I get hundreds of likes. I get hundreds of people who have liked my profile, they have swiped yes on me, and I don't swipe yes on them. I swipe no on them so we don't match. So it's I actually have very few matches, but um what I was referring to is is the likes. Um but many men they get all a small number of likes, and so it's they don't even really get the chance to have many matches because they don't even have many likes. Um but I get hundreds of likes, and I only usually have out of out of a hundred likes, uh, I might have one match, but often I have zero, you know. So out of a thousand, I might have a couple, but usually no more than like three maximum out of a thousand. So that means out of a thousand people, uh thousand profiles that I'm seeing, I only swipe yes on on like maximum three. A lot of times it's one or two or none. Um, and you know, people always say you can't tell much from a profile, you know, and I'm sure that I'm swiping no on people that are great people. I'm sure a lot of the people are great people. It's not about, oh, it's not a good person or not. I see a ton of profiles and I'm like, uh, you seem cute, like a cute person. Not necessarily like not physically cute, like I really don't care that much about that, but like a cute personality, or oh, you seem nice, oh you seem smart, you seem um interesting in some way, whatever. But I will still swipe no because it's just it's like um I think there's something about you that's cool, but it's not it's not my particular thing that I'm looking for or that attracts me or whatever. And so I wish you the best, but not for me. And maybe in real life, if we met in real life, maybe it would be different, you know. But um, and yeah, it's it's kind of sad that dating apps have reduced us to such like a kind of a superficial way of um evaluating potential partners. And yeah, it is sad on some level. However, and this is what I'm gonna get into more in the video, with your profile, yes, you could say, oh, it's so superficial, it's how you want to be perceived. It's like, you know, people mostly just look at the pictures and whatever. But I am a person who thoroughly reads through entire profiles. I will read everything that you write, everything that you put, and I will pay attention to all the details of everything you put on your profile. So, in that sense, the way I use dating apps is not as superficial as it could be, as it as it may be for some people. Um, I'm not just looking for somebody who's physically attractive. I'm not looking for somebody to um spend, you know, one night with. I am looking for like a potential, like serious relationship, you know, like uh like a like a yeah, like an actual partner, you know, an actual compatible, uh potentially lifelong partner. I mean, I am open to this. So and the thing is is that people use these apps like Bumble for different reasons. Some people are just looking for more superficial things. Um, and so the the issue is that even though we're all looking for different things, they put us all together in the same pool on the app. You know, we're just we're all together and we see everybody's profile. It doesn't matter if they're looking for the same thing or not, we see everyone. And this is the first problem with the app. You know, why am I seeing people who are not even looking for, and they're they're explicit about it, they're open about it. They're like, you know, I'm looking for a polyamory and I am not polyamorous, or I am looking for, you know, I see I see people saying they're looking for um just something casual, uh, you know, casual um fling or whatever, whatever you want to call it. Um some people are I don't know, people they're looking for different things. Um, right? Some people are very uh firm about not wanting kids, and maybe I want kids and that's a deal breaker for me, whatever. But we're all in the same category. So I in not category, but we're all in this, um, we're all just in the app. We're not divided into what we're looking for. So you're just seeing everybody that is looking for different things than you. You know, you're seeing all these people who are it's it's kind of a waste of your time to be shown a lot of profiles of people that are looking for something different. You know, I don't want to get likes from the kind of guy, and there's there's a lot of guys like this that I have heard that um will use the app where they just swipe like this, you know, and they they just look at the first picture. If they think that you're physically attractive, they'll swipe yes, if not, they swipe no. And that is it. And that is their criteria, and that is all that they do. And so they just go like this. And so you're getting all these likes from guys who do that, from guys who don't actually take the time to read your profile. Um, you know, that's so I get a lot of likes from people who are clearly, clearly incompatible with me. Like, you know, like I like I, you know, my profile is very like, you know, I'm passionate about veganism and stuff. Um, you know, I have a picture of me on my profile holding up like um, you know, doing act vegan doing uh doing vegan activism on the street, holding up like a screen showing like slaughterhouse footage. Like I'm very out there with Pat. And I've seen profiles saying like, I don't date vegans, like, you know, and they like me. Why? Because they're not reading. They're not actually looking, they're not taking the time to look at my profile. They're just they like my first picture and they swipe yes. And the problem with this is that it's a huge, huge time waster for those of us who do read profiles, and particularly the women, the women who receive these hundreds of matches and have to go through and do the reading and analyze the profiles and and and really go through, and a lot of them could have just easily been avoided by the guy reading through the profile, you know. Like he could have done that work for us, you know, he could have he could have been a gentleman and done that work, but then he he basically just passed past is he basically just uh I was trying to say pushed and passed, and I combine them and I say pat I said passed. I do that a lot. People do that a lot. Um, yeah, he pushed or passed the labor onto me, basically. You know, he wrote in his profile, I don't date vegans, and then you know, or he's got a picture of him like eating like steak, and then he he made he he pushed the work onto me. Now I have to look at his profile, waste my time reading that, going, okay, no, you know. Whereas if he had just done that first when he saw me first, he saw my profile, then it could have saved me the time. So what I have gathered is that I feel like now I feel I feel bad for men in the sense that it is often so hard to get likes and to be noticed and and then to get matches and to get to go on a date. It's very easy. If I just want to start chatting with a guy and go on a date, it's very easy because there are hundreds I can choose. So in that sense, I do think it's harder for men using dating apps or you know, men have a disadvantage in that aspect. Yes. Um, yes, women, we it's easier for us, right? And even without even outside of dating apps, it's easier for women to um to to get a date or to, you know, to get a guy to to go out with. It's easier, yes. And in that sense, I I feel for men, it it seems uh very frustrating. Um, you know, I can't imagine like desiring to go on a date or be in a relationship and nobody even pays attention to you, like nobody even acknowledges your existence, you know, like that's even harder in a way. So I I have empathy for that. But I'm bringing to mate to your attention maybe for the first time, the other side of this is a woman, where yes, I have all of these options, but it it becomes overwhelming. I'm drowning in options. I have so many options, and very few, if any of them, I actually consider to be compatible with me. Um, so the cool thing is that I can go through the options and I can narrow it down and I can find some really great people. On Bumble, as as much as I have problems with the app, like as much as I don't like these apps, um, I have met some of the greatest people in my life or some of the coolest people, some of the most, I don't know, just some of the best people on these apps, right? I've I've met um people that I've been in relationships with, I've I've met um people that I've been in love with, people that are I've met great friends. Um yeah, I I've met uh amazing people after digging and digging through uh the sea of people, you know, digging through the sea of people, I have found gems, like just people who are a lot more compatible with me. Um I don't mean that they're the best, I don't mean that they're better than the other people, I just mean they're more compatible with me. And so what I wanted to say here, my point is that um yes, we have more options, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for that if I just just really, you know, I just really want to talk to a guy or go on a date. Like I can, you know, I can. Even if he's not super compatible with me, I can. But I consider whenever I use Bumble, I consider it very like labor intensive. It's it's like in in a digital way, you know, with my fingers and thumbs and whatever, but uh, you know, in my my focus. Um, but in in a digital sense, it's very, very labor intensive. It's veer it's very media um what is the word? It's very monotonous. It's very monotonous. Um, it drives me crazy having to go through tons and tons of people. Um and just basically having to analyze profiles so much before I swipe yes because I have to feel like, you know, because I because I know that I if I if I swipe yes on somebody, that means I gotta talk to them. We gotta have a conversation. And I'm not a ghoster because I'm a decent human being. Side eye to all you ghosters out there. Ghosting is not okay. All right. It's not okay, it's immature, most of the time. It's uh yeah, of course, there are exceptions, like, you know, somebody's really being uh horrible, but uh then they probably deserve to be ghosted. But like if that's not the case, ghosting is childish, okay? Leave that in the past, please. Um, so I don't I don't ghost people. So, you know, which if you don't know what that means, like I don't just stop talking to someone and like ignore them and never respond again. Um, I have to I I always tell people like, look, I'm you know, it's nice to meet you. I'm actually not really that interested after chatting for a little bit. Uh I wish you the best. Um, yeah. So regardless, if I open a chat with someone, if I swipe yes and I start a chat with someone, I have to see that through. I have to talk to them, um, and I have to talk to them enough to be able to kind of come to the conclusion that I'm not interested anymore, that I that I don't want to continue. And then I have to tell them that I don't want to continue. And, you know, so it just it takes more time and effort. And I don't also I I don't want to waste people's time. If I'm not if I'm not that interested, I don't want to swipe yes on you and waste your time, right? I hate wasting people's time. I don't want to do that. So I really make sure that if I'm gonna swipe yes, Um, you know, most of the time I I try to really make sure that that I'm genuinely interested in having a little conversation with you. At least a at least a little mini conversation. Ask you a few questions, get a feel for how you respond, you know, further analyze your personality. I like to uh send audio messages in the chat to kind of hear your voice to voice and see how you talk and stuff. It's still a very short window of it's like speed dating, you know, it's it's still a quick uh amount of short amount of time to evaluate someone, but that's what we have to do. That's what we have to do. Yes, it's kind of like conveyor belt McDonald's style dating. Um, yeah. Should I be you know, going through hundreds and hundreds of people and like, you know, uh comparing and contrasting and trying to find the most perfect what no, like it's is it very artificial and weird? Yeah. Is it like it I'm aware of how messed up it is, like the modern dating thing, but at the same time, it has led me to some of the most amazing people that I might not have met otherwise. Um, it can be really efficient. And that's the thing. It it's a little crazy, but it can be very efficient at, you know, like a way for me to find people who have a lot in common with me that I would not have found possibly otherwise. And maybe I would have, but it might have taken me so much longer, uh, and it might not have ever happened. So that's what keeps me coming back to the app. So I I kind of hate and love the apps, the dating apps, because um they're very useful. Like I do have success after a while of struggling. I have to usually suffer a lot with them, go through the swiping, and then I usually find a gem. I usually find um at some point uh a great one, uh, you know, someone who's really compatible with me, and you know, and then it I feel like it's worth it. I feel like all of that suffering, all of that struggling was worth it. Yes, I hope to have an actual long-lasting relationship someday, and I can just stop using the app for good, and I can just delete the app from my phone. Believe me, I can't wait for that to happen. Um, but it's hard. And even if I weren't using the app, it's still hard out here. It's dating is hard. It's hard to find people compatible and with you, and especially the more you work on yourself, the more you evolve, the more you you evolve in your personal development, the more you work on yourself and you mature and this and that in life, it it becomes like even harder to find someone compatible. It feels like, you know, sometimes um, yeah, it's like the more you learn and you you grow up, um, it it becomes even harder and harder because your standards go up, right? So as you become more mature, your standards go up. Um it's a lot easier when I was um when I was younger. Um and yeah, I noticed that it just from observing like people in my family and stuff too, um or people I've met in my life, friends, whatever. I don't know. It it seems to be uh like the less experiences you've had, the the it seems to be easier, you know, the less you have worked on yourself or or or you know, the the less you have matured. It seems it seems to be easier to find somebody. So yeah. So it just gets it gets harder and harder for me because um yeah, it just gets harder and harder for me over the years to to find people to but there are definitely people out there that are compatible with me, and I never I never lose hope. Like I always know that there are people and I it's easy to fall into the scarcity mentality, and you know, but really we need to try to be in the abundance mentality. So so yeah, so I'm gonna take a look here at my little list of things that I wrote uh to kind of guide me in this rant. This is a dating app rant. What is a rant? It's I don't know if this is a rant or just like just a monologue, but it's kind of like a rant where I'm just going on and on and on about something that I I don't like or I have issues with, um I'm or I'm just I've thought a lot about, I'm kind of passionate about it. Not really, but just like it's something that I've thought about a lot. It bothers me. I've talked about it with friends. I have a lot of uh critiques, I have a lot of like um things to criticize about it. And yeah, a lot of things that I want to talk about that people don't realize about it. And yeah, I feel like men don't realize how how they are uh pushing the work onto me to um to have to weed through profiles and stuff, and how annoying it is when they don't read profiles, or you know, when they when you're having a conversation with them and they ask you a question that you answered on your profile. It's like you're not reading, and that's one of the most unattractive things is when people don't read, and I know people don't read, people don't read YouTube comments. You know how many videos I have where I posted a pinned comment and people don't read it, and then they respond they comment something, and I have to say, read the pinned comment. People don't read. People will I've literally posted the link to my conversation classes, and and somebody writes underneath, how do I do it? Like, what where do I book a class with you? How do I do that? Like, bro, you click the link, like it's right there. Like um, so yeah, people people don't read. Not enough people read profiles, and then because they're not even reading profiles, that they don't even think that they're that what they write on their profiles is important because they don't think other people are reading. And it's it's really sad. And I feel like these people, I feel like if you don't write something on your profile, you shouldn't even be in the same pool of applicants as me. You know, like if if you're not, I would like all the the people who are looking for something different than what I'm looking for, or who don't write anything on their profile, uh, or who are not reading profiles, or you know, I think all of these people should be like removed from my dating pool. I think they should be weeded out, weeded out, like they should be filtered out because I don't even want them in my in my dating pool, in my pool of people. Um yeah, I don't even I don't even want to see those profiles. So yeah, that's that's my issue, is that I'm just seeing everybody and there's like no way of filtering unless you pay a lot of money. But even if you pay a lot of money um to get like the membership version of the app or like the premium or whatever it's called, you still have to you have to put on certain filters, and there's there are very limited filters as who you can filter out, and you can't really filter out people. You can only put on a filter and see people who have indicated something specific on their profile. Um, if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's hard to explain. But basically, I have used the premium version of Bumble even for like a week at a time or a month, and it honestly wasn't that great. Like it kind of sucked, like it kind of it was a very limited as to what I could do. So even the premium version of Bumble is like crappy. Like it's not enough. It's not enough of how much I would like. I would like us to be separated into, like, I would like them to ask us specific questions when we make our profile. Um, and you have to update it and it checks in with you and up and like asks you specific questions about what you're looking for, and then it will separate us into different categories so that we don't even see, you know, like I am monogamous. I have no interest in polyamory, so I don't I don't need to see anybody who who's polyamorous, you know. I um I have no interest in um like okay, so I wrote down some examples of things I'm not interested in. Um I'm not interested in religious people um to to uh have a relationship, okay. Um I have no issue with religious people in the world existing. I have no issue with them. I don't want to date someone who is religious. So so if someone puts on their profile that they are Christian, Catholic, Jewish, uh Muslim, uh any any of these like Abrahamic religions, um, I will almost always swipe no. So you could just remove, I would like to just filter all those people out. That would cut down, especially in Latin America. There's a lot of Catholic people and stuff. That would that would cut down, that would separate, weed out, filter out a lot of uh people from my dating pool, and that would save me a lot of time. Um and you know, I have I shouldn't, I'm not I don't have to say this, but um just as a little reminder for anybody who is a little bit offended right now, um, these are my personal dating preferences, and you know, we all have a right to have dating preferences and to date who we want, and it doesn't mean that we have a problem with people, right? Uh like I only date men. I don't I don't date women. That doesn't mean I have a problem with women, you know, you know. Um uh I obviously don't date homosexual men. I couldn't if I tried. Uh that doesn't mean I have a problem with them, you know. Um another thing, I've jokingly said, I've jokingly said in a video before that I don't date gringos. Um that's not like a hard line. That's like it's not like such a strong thing, but it is it is there is truth in that. There is truth in that. Generally, when I'm in Latin America, which is most of the time this is where I live, you know, I'm I'm always like traveling around Latin America. I'm I'm like a nomad here until I until I find a place and a situation and until I decide, basically, until I decide to stay more long term in a place, which will probably be somewhere in Latin America, um, I will probably just be traveling around, you know, like on tourist visas, um, until I get like a more like long-term like residency visa. But yeah, so when I am in Colombia, when I am in Mexico, when I am in Brazil, which I am planning to go to Brazil um next month. So if if by the way, so if everything works out, I will be in Brazil next month. And I'm really excited about that because it's my first time in Brazil. And yeah, I'm like I'm really excited. Um I'm waiting for them to confirm my e-visa right now that I applied for for Brazil. Um, but yeah, I'm hoping that it all works out. Um because I have already booked my my flight uh to Sao Paulo. So yeah. Um so yeah, so whether I'm in uh Brazil or wherever I am, um I am interested in the local men, the local people. I'm I I want to I'm interested in um the Brazilians, the Mexicans, the Colombians, the you know, wherever I am. Yeah, because um it's very important to me as a Spanish speaker and someone who is learning Portuguese and wants to be fluent in Portuguese at some point. Um it's it's very important for me to like I want to date a native speaker of one of these languages. I want to raise bilingual children. Um I want to I I love Latin America and I want to live here and I want um somebody who who grew up here who knows who knows um the where they are from very well, you know, who who like uh knows a lot about it and know knows everything about it. Like I mean everything that you can know as somebody who's from there, basically. Um yeah. So that's when I say I'm not interested in gringos because I'm not I'm not really interested in dating people that look like they could be my brother. And no, it's not it's not just that. Um I'm not really interested in dating like native English speakers. Uh like, you know, people who grew up with like the same exact kind of everything. I don't know. It's just it's too similar to me. I like different. I like um the contrast, I like a different somebody from a very different place, different culture, language. Yeah. That's my thing. I'm not just generally not super interested in people who are more similar to me or native speakers of English, etc. So, but when I travel to places, uh when I'm when I'm in São Paulo, if when I go there, or when I'm in uh Bogota, or when I'm in Medellin, or when I'm in um whatever, wherever. Right now I'm in uh Lima, Peru. Um, I'm not using Bumble right now in in Peru, though. I'm just hanging out with a friend here. But um I'm actually hanging out with one of my Colombian friends. One of my friends from Bogota is traveling and also here with me. And we are we are enjoying uh Lima together. So yeah, so I'm not I'm not even really use I'm not using Bumble right now because I'm just not um I'm just focused on hanging out with my friend and I'm not really I know I'm gonna leave Lima soon, so I'm not I'm not really um dating here um right now. But um yeah, I go through phases, I don't do it all the time. Um last month I was in Mediji and I wasn't using it either. I was just focusing on work a lot. So I'm not always on Bumble Um, but sometimes I am. But yeah, but what I was saying is that so when I when I am in these cities, when I go to these places, a lot of times when I go on the app, when I activate the my profile, uh, because I usually deactivate it when I'm like not using it or traveling. So when I reactivate it, a lot of times a lot of the first people that I will see are like foreigners. And I think it's because when I say foreigners, I mean like gringos, Europeans, like yeah. And I think it's because um a lot of the local women are interested in these guys. Um they're like me, they also like the exotic, they like the different than me, you know. Oh, these these foreign guys, um, or for whatever reason. But so these guys often get a lot of likes. I think this is my theory. And so the app, because they're so popular with the local women, the app will show me the gringos and whatever. And I am not interested in them. So the app thinks like, oh, they're very popular, you must want them too. I don't, I really don't. Um I'm not interested in the in the mics and the in the Joey's and the those are like kind um, yeah. Anyways, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Um, but yeah, but I'm generally not like I didn't go to this country to just hang out with somebody from the US. Sorry, like no offense to people from the US. I didn't I'm not here for you. I'm not here for you. So I would like to filter all these people out. I'd like to filter them out, if possible, you know, if there's a way of doing that. So and and I get that it's like maybe hard to fill, but if they ask us a lot of very specific questions, and if the app were better and more specific, um it could be it could be done, it's possible, but um, yeah, it's just it's not really designed this way. Um I'm not interested in couples. Every once in a while you'll see a couple, a profile for a couple, and I'm not interested in in hanging out with a couple, like like like uh like a trio. I'm interested in uh one person. Um so yeah, so there's different things I'd like to be able to filter out. Um yeah, so what else did I write here? I basically already talked about how uh uh women get more likes, women must be more selective. Um men often don't filter or read, they often don't read profiles. I'm sure tons of women don't read profiles either. Um, not saying that just men do that, but a lot of people in general don't read, and so I have to I have to do a lot of work on bumble. It's like I have to spend a lot of time, you know, going through like I might have to spend a lot of time going through hundreds of people just to find somebody, you know. Yeah, and it's okay if I live there and I have all the time in the world, but sometimes I'm just passing through and I'm only gonna be in a place for like a month or two or three, and I if I find somebody that I really connect with, maybe I would stay. But if I don't find somebody, maybe I won't stay. And I so I kind of have to go through the hundreds of people sometimes to find someone. Um okay, so now I'm gonna talk about my honest critique of um profiles. A lot, so many profiles that I've seen, everything that I'm talking about, it's because I have seen tons and tons like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of profiles like this. So it's it is common, okay. Um, so my first issue with profiles is that people have bad pictures or not many. So I think on an app like Bumble, you can put you could upload like six pictures, I think, something like that. So people who only put like one or two, it's like, first of all, do you really think you're gonna get likes like that? Like you're giving us like a couple pictures, like uh I that's not very interesting. Like you don't have any more pictures. Um, that just seems like you're, you know, barely putting any effort into your profile, you know, or they'll put pictures that don't even show them, that don't even show them in a in a way that we can see them. Maybe they're tiny and far away. Maybe it's like they're back, you know, it's like something that is not even like a picture. A lot of pictures are bad. Like I've seen so many bad pictures, so many bad pictures. It's crazy. And I know that people don't a lot of people just don't have pictures. They'll say, I don't have good pictures of me. Um, yeah, I understand. I I've been lucky to have like like I had a boyfriend once who was a photographer and he used to take a lot of nice pictures of me. And you know, I've been on a lot of like trips and people have taken pictures of me and stuff. So I'm yes, I'm lucky to have a lot of pictures of me. Um, but I don't know, like get your friends to get find a friend, find a family member, somebody to go out to in public with you, go to some place in nature, go somewhere with a nice background and just take a couple pictures of you. Like it doesn't have to like even if you don't have pick cool pictures from your life, just don't do like a whole profile of like selfies. Okay. This is one of the most unattractive things when somebody has a mirror selfie. They're like taking a selfie of yourself in the mirror, taking a picture of yourself in the mirror with your phone. If that is your first picture, if you have a mirror selfie as your first picture on your profile, number one, what are you doing? Do you really think that that looks good? Number two, I am probably gonna swipe no. If that's your first picture, I'm probably gonna swipe no. If you have a mirror selfie as like your fifth or sixth picture or whatever, okay. But the first one, no. Come on, come on. You could do better than that. You can find if you can't find anybody to take a picture of you, what do you do? Like, that's concerning. Like, do you not have a single friend or family member who would do that for you? Like, are you embarrassed to ask? Like, come on, come on, come on, do better with the pictures. It's not that hard. Some of you guys, a lot of you guys are older than me. A lot of you guys are in your 30s. I'm talking about 30s and 40s, and you don't have good pictures. Come on, you've been around for so long now. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But I am 28, I got great pictures. What uh uh you know, what are you doing? You're like 36 and you don't have good pictures? Come on. You you take in mirror selfies? Nah, mirror mirror selfies gotta go. I stopped using mirror selfies years ago, years and years ago. All right. Um, next one is uh oh, this is classic, especially in like Latin. America, a lot of people do the thumbs up or the piece, but thumbs up is very common. Um, yeah, whenever I see that, I just think of like mm, like people who are like in their 50s and 60s, like older people in Latin America, they do that. Um, if you're in your 20s and 30s and you're still doing this, like uh I don't know. It's kinda it's kind of weird, honestly. It's kind of it's kind of childish. It's kinda I don't know what it is. It's like it's just because people in the US, we don't we don't do that. Like like I like I don't like I don't know, it just reminds me of somebody's dad, you know. It's such a dad thing to do, but it's not it's not cool. Or this this thing, like, it's not it's not really cool. It's just kind of lame. Like the hand stuff is just kind of lame. Lame, what do you what does lame mean? Lame is the opposite of cool, okay? The Google Translate won't tell you that, but lame is the opposite of cool. It's just lame, it's not cool. Um just stuff with the hand stuff, but just take a picture, you know, just just smile, just take a picture, do it do a silly face, something, but take a picture. Just you don't gotta do something with your hands, you know. Alright. Um, so there's that. Uh oh, so many people who are scowling, scowling in their what is scowling? It's like like you look like you're mad. You look like you're mad, you're angry, you're upset, or you're confused, or you're trying to read something that you can't read. You're making that kind of face. Why? Why do you think a beautiful goddess woman would want, would be interested in a profile where you're just like scowling, okay? Like, what are you trying to look tough? Do you try to look like what? I don't even know what the point of that is. Like, that's so weird. So weird. Do not put a scowling photo of you on your profile. Yeah. What I don't even understand anything about that. Okay. Next one. Um, ah, so no description. So they don't write any any description. So you on Bumble, the first thing on your profile was your picture, and then under that is um you can write anything you want, anything you want about you. Or it could be it could be anything. You could write anything. That's like the first thing people are gonna read, right? That's like your first the first impression. Um, you know, I usually will write um some some key things about me and maybe what I'm looking for. Um some people like to write like uh like funny things or jokes or whatever, or I don't know. People write all kinds of different things. A lot of people write cheesy, corny stuff that looks like it comes from AI. Some people write like they're just like I I've seen like a hundred people with the same the same description. Like some people just write the same thing. They probably got it from the internet. I don't know. They write the same thing as everybody else. Like if if your bio, if I've seen your description or your bio before, like if I've seen other people having that same writing that same thing, I'm just gonna think that you're I don't know, you're just like copying and pasting it from somewhere. Like you're you didn't come up with that. That's not original. You're like a robot. You're you're literally if you if you have to use the internet AI or you have to copy or use some kind of generic thing that other people use on your dating profile where you're supposed to show like your uniqueness and what makes you interesting, and you do that kind of a thing, you are basically saying, hi, I'm a clone, I'm a robot, I am like everybody else, I'm not special. So just to so you know, that's what you're doing when you do that. Um, but it's kind of just as bad to write nothing. A lot of people will just write nothing, and uh that's like wasted opportunity. And I have a feeling that people who write nothing, um, it's because they have nothing interesting to say. They have nothing interesting to say. Their personality is not interesting, and that's that's unattractive. And you might not realize that people like me, that women like me, are analyzing all this stuff from s you know what you think is just such a like a quick decision or a minor decision of of just not writing something. You think it's not a big deal. I'm analyzing your whole personality based off that. Uh no, but yeah, you know, not really, but kinda. Um and maybe you're saying, well, I'm not even interested in a woman like you, Lau. I'm not even I'm that's you're not my type. You know, the women I'm interested in don't care. Okay. You don't have like I said, you don't have to listen to me. Like, do what you want. You know what you you know what you're doing, maybe, but I'm just saying, I don't have to be your type, but I don't know. Like I'm just saying uh women who are maybe more intellectual type are just gonna be like probably bored by that. Just bored, you know? Women who really value um personality expression, conversation, uh uniqueness, you know, whatever. Okay. Um next one. Uh yeah, so I said boring robotic or clone description. Yeah, I already talked about that. Um yes, okay. Ah, the next thing. Uh this is the last thing I wrote, but I don't know if it's the last thing that I'm gonna talk about. But um, so after the description, you then have to choose on Bumble. Um you can choose up to five interests. They're called interests. And so you have this list that they give you. I think it should be a lot longer, but it's a long list of all kinds of different interests from sports to like just random activities like drawing to um like animals, like lizards, and there's just like so many different things you could choose, right? There's so many different things you could choose as your interest. It doesn't have to be this strong big passion of your life. It could just be something that you like, something that that you saw and you said, oh, like that resonates with me. I that's interesting to me. I'm a person who likes that thing. Boom. Um, so so you get to choose up to five interests, but you don't have to choose five interests. You could choose one, two, three, four, or five. For me, why would you not choose five? Why would you know, is it I I don't understand how it's that hard to come up with to choose, you don't even have to think of something, you could just go down the line and choose of the list. Um, so why do you why is it so hard for people to choose five things on the list that that they like, that they're interested in? Why? So a lot some people won't even have five things, right? They'll put like two things, like, you know, like really, there's nothing else you like on that list. Nothing. Um yeah, I can't remember what I put I I usually put like um let's see if I can remember. Like, I think I put like sense of humor, uh, because yeah, you can even put like like personality traits as your interests. So I put uh sense of humor, I put um self-awareness, uh, I put um gardening, um, sometimes I put dancing, um, sometimes I put environmentalism and what else? So uh usually I put um vegan as my my number one interest. Um yes, that's on there too. Um yeah, maybe something else, but that's like I I put like stuff like that. Okay, she's she's vegan, she likes you know, nature, gardening, um, the environment, she likes to dance, she uh values humor and um self-awareness. So, you know, oh okay, like that says a lot about me right there. Like five things I just do that those are that says a lot about me. There's a lot you can gather from that. There's a lot of you know information in there. Um, so yeah, that combined with my bio, it says a lot about me. And then you look at my pictures, and then and then also there are prompts. So later on in the in the profile, you can respond to questions. And people will write like dumb things as answers. Like I think those prompts are a way for you to showcase more of your personality and your values. Um, so I sometimes will choose quest prompts and then write like kind of my controversial, controversial opinions as answers. So I can kind of communicate to someone who's reading the profile that so I can kind of communicate to someone who's reading the profile that this is my perspective on this controversial topic, or this is my stance. Um or I will, yeah, I will just write, I will try to choose answers that kind of show something very important that I want to communicate about myself. Um, yeah, and if you're a person who's just overwhelmed by profiles because you you don't, you feel like you don't even know who you are, or you don't have like any interests, or you you don't even know how to describe yourself. You don't even you don't have like anything you care about. Well, that's a whole nother issue that you should probably go on a self-discovery journey to figure out because I I can't help this video is not to help you with that, man. But some of you I think have interesting things about you, you just don't, or maybe you could come up with some things or whatever, but like you just you're not thinking about it when you make your profile. I don't know. But um, but I definitely have a lot to communicate about myself. And so I yeah, so I take advantage of everything on there to really um present like a a a profile of myself of the kind of person that I am. And I want to go back to where you have to choose the up to five interests, um, because another huge thing that annoys me like crazy, like ooh, it drives me absolutely bonkers, absolutely crazy, is so so people have to choose an interest, right? And people will choose things that I don't understand why you would choose that as your interest. And and and then it makes me think if maybe they're just choosing it because they want to communicate to whoever's reading it that this is what they would want to do on a first date. Maybe it's not actually their interest. Like, or maybe they just really are this simple-minded. I don't know. But for example, I see a lot of of interest that people choose in the in the five five potential interests. Um, I see a lot of uh alcohol stuff, I see a lot of beer, wine, um, liquor, I see bars, a lot of people put bars. Um yeah, so many people put beer, wine, bars. Uh, okay, if you like to drink alcohol, okay. But unless you're like a person who makes their own alcohol or sells alcohol or like unless you're like a super, you're like a super wine nerd or something, like unless you're like super, super nerd about it, why are you putting that as your interest? You put bars as your like your interest is like going to bars, like I just think it's lame. I just think it's really lame and unattractive. And maybe because I'm a person who doesn't drink and I don't I don't like that. Like I don't like I'm not interested in going out and drinking with you. But I think it's still lame, you know? Like, even when I did drink, I thought that too. Like it's okay, a lot of people like to go get a drink and and whatever. It's not you're not special for that, number one. Number two, you why do you need to put that on your profile like as your interest? Like you could choose so many interests and you chose beer, like beer is your interest. Like, no, honey, beer is a beverage. Beer is a drink, it's not an interest. For most people, it's not, unless you're like brewing your own beer, okay? People will put coffee as their interest. Co how is coffee an interest? It's coffee's a drug, beer is a drug, alcohol, caffeine, they're drugs. There's things that you consume every day. They're they're like foods, beverages, you know? Like you know, and I put I put vegan in mine as an interest, not because not because veganism is not a diet, it's a it's a philosophy. So i I'm I'm saying that I have a vegan philosophy. Not that I'm not talking about what I eat n exclusively. Yes, I'm also talking about that, but it's not it's not that it's not about the food, it's about the philosophy. Yeah, you know, vegans, we don't we don't wear clothes that come from animals. We don't, you know, we it's it's more than food. So it's not it's not just like about food. But so when people put food things or be food and beverage things as their interests, you know, like pizza, like, okay, you're like every person ever. Like you I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to choose more interesting interests, like more unique or interesting interests. Why would you choose beer, pizza? Like I feel like most people like those things. Um and it's not those aren't really interests. Those are just things that you like to you like to do sometimes, but it's not I don't know. Uh what do you think? Do you agree with me? I I feel like these are not really interests, and I feel like they're kind of lame. I just think it's lame. It's a way to me, it's a waste of a s of a space if you could have put that you like to um you like to go for hikes or you like to watch um uh you know um comedy movies or something. I don't know, and you put pizza, you put beer, I don't know. I don't know. It's okay if like one of your five interests is one of those kind of things, but when it's like I've literally seen profiles where their interests are like beer, wine, uh party, or like beer, bars, dogs. That's another one. It's like, come on, we all like dog, like most of us like dogs, like you're not special because you're re people who base their whole person around personality around liking dogs or cats is like, yeah, we all we like dogs and cats too. Like we all do. If you're not special for that, okay. Anyways, um, yeah, I like to see people putting like actual cool um like hobbies or or interests or things. You know, I like to see when people put like I you know, I like to run, like running or cooking or um uh I don't know. I can't I'm drawing a blank right now. Like there's there's a lot of interests, and I can't think of them, but there's there are a lot. Um yeah. I mean arts and crafts, like uh reading, I don't know. Um yeah, walking. You could even put walking, like yeah, uh ping pong, table tennis.

unknown 59:55

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

There's a there's a lot of things on there. And when people put dogs in beer, I'm like, come on, bro, come on. You're just exposing yourself for being a basic bitch. Sorry. You are a little bit basic, all right. So yeah, if you're if your interests look like that, if your profile looks like anything I've described so far in this video, um probably just gonna automatically swipe no on you. Um so this this weeds out a lot of people, like a ton of people. This this filters out a ton of people, but I can't, I can't filter them out, so I have to manually do it. I can't do it automatically. I have to manually go through, look at all the profiles, and filter them out. Yes, it doesn't take very long to go down to someone's profile and s and quickly see that it's a lame one and go, no, yeah, it doesn't take a lot of time. I usually am able to do it pretty quickly, but it still takes time. It takes time. It takes a while for me to go through 50, 100 profiles. And if you have hundreds, yeah. And somebody in this video is probably somebody in the comments is probably gonna be like, oh boo hoo, it's so hard for you. You have so many likes and you're oh you're a girl and it's so easy and you're just complaining about nothing and you know. Well, um I did tell you what this video was gonna be about, so I um you know, it's not a it's not a perfect system. Uh you know, I'm grateful to be able to to um to date and to be able to to have high standards and to filter not even high standards, but just just standards, you know. I I I'm uh grateful to be able to have standards and to, you know, freely choose who I want to date and to be able to um to be able to compare and contrast and not settle for whoever, you know. And yeah, I think I I'm really grateful to to be able to travel around and to not be so limited in my in my options and and to be able to use the dating apps and uh like I am grateful that they exist. Like I I will I keep coming back to them. They are useful, but they are far from perfect. There's a lot of issues with them, and I'm just making this video to rant about it, to just talk about, you know, from my perspective, because I think a lot of guys they never really hear a woman like give this lengthy of a of a review of dating apps, and it might be interesting, and you might be able to get some inspiration. And if and if anything that I said talking about the the profiles was like you like you you identified like that in your profile, um, well yeah, just take it as constructive criticism and um and then you can improve it, and you know, and and and maybe it'll help you. And it might not, it might not increase your matches, even if you improve it. Um it's hard, it's hard out there. There's a lot of great guys that are just not getting not getting likes, not getting matches. Um it's hard. It's hard. But um, but yeah, but maybe I think because what I overall, what I can tell you in my conclusion is that one of the biggest things that I'm always talking about, I'm always telling my friends is that I just see everybody as clones. Like it's just a sea of clones. Every all the profiles are like the same, they're so similar to each other. Like it's like looking at clones or robots where yeah, all the so many profiles just seem like just like the last one. Just you know, like I've every I look at a profile, I'm like, I've seen hundreds that look just like this. So if you want to stand out, if you want to stand out from the sea of people, you gotta do something different. You gotta take a unique approach, a unique spin. And if you and your life is not naturally super interesting, you know, like maybe you kind of feel like I'm not that different than every everybody else. Like maybe you'll feel like I'm just a normal person, you know, like I'm there's not there's not that much interesting I could say. Okay, well, I don't know. Take some take some interesting photos, um, you know, write something, try to write something original and unique, something that catches people's attention. I don't know. Go on a self-journey of discovery journey of figuring out like something interesting, quirky, random, unique about you. Something, I don't know. Um, but yes, there's only so much that I can help you with at the end of the day. Um, you know, it's it's hard out there. People are gonna always um women are gonna be selective, um, and the you know, there's only so much, you know, you can't you can't change who you are, and you shouldn't change who you are. And I'm not trying to say you should change who you are or you're or whatever, which you're not good enough. I'm just saying you could make some tweaks to your profile. It might help. It might not. Um it's it's hard out here. But um, but yeah, I just hope that you take care of your mental health and you don't let not getting many likes or matches or whatever get to you, you know, get to your self-esteem. Um and um go go to events, go, you know, join, join a class, get out there, get out there in the real world. I'm talking to myself as well. Um we you know it's okay to use the apps, but we gotta we gotta get out there and do stuff in public in real life too. We gotta we gotta put ourselves into situations where we might meet somebody in real life as well. You know, we gotta be bold and um you know, we gotta Put ourselves in situations where we might be able to meet people, connect with people, chat with people. So yeah. All right. Well, I think that's all I have to say for my dating app rant for today. And I hope you enjoyed it. And uh please leave any comments about your uh your experiences or your your perspectives or anything. And um yeah. I also tell me anything that you learned in English. Like I'm always interested in hearing about like, oh, you said this word and I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up and I learned it today, thank you, and whatever, uh, or a phrase or something like I love hearing about that. Sometimes I'm not aware of like what things you guys know and what you don't know, and you guys are all at different points of your journey with English, and yeah. So that's why I don't like over-explain every little thing. In general, I think I talk in a very like clear, simple way. I enunciate very well. Um, generally, my my pronunciation, my accent is very easy for people to understand, and I don't talk too fast most of the time. I'm a pretty I'm a pretty relaxed person. So I think it's generally easy for most of you to understand me. And yeah, like you can always um turn on the captions and you can always, if you didn't catch what I said, you can always look and see um the word or the phrase that I used, and you can go look it up. I get a lot of questions always on my YouTube videos saying, like, like just asking me simple questions about English and asking me to make a video about it. Um, like I just saw a question recently, like, what's the difference between subtitles and captions? Can you make a video about it? Well, I'm not gonna make a video about it because it's a whole because it's uh it's I can answer it in two seconds. You know, I don't need a whole video. Um but for quick questions about English, you you guys need to be in the mode of just looking it up, you know. Um if it's a short, simple question, if it's a simple, simple thing with probably a simple answer in English, just ask AI. Just ask AI, Google it, just just ask the internet, you know, ask internet, ask AI, and and then if you don't get a good answer or you're still confused, maybe then you can ask me. But um, subtitles and captions, there might be a difference. I don't really know what the difference is. So for me, it's basically the same thing. I just use captions with YouTube because YouTube, I think it's called captions. They YouTube calls it captions, but when you watch movies, it's like subtitles. So that might be the difference, but I don't think it really matters if you use captions with movies, if you use subtitles with YouTube, it doesn't really matter. It's the same, it's I think it's like the same thing. So it's not really a big deal. But yeah. Um yeah, so so if you have a little questions about something that I said that you don't know what it is, just like when you consume content in English in general, anyways, you're you're always gonna be looking stuff up. I'm constantly looking stuff up in Spanish and Portuguese. Like, what is this? What is what does this mean? Um, so yeah, that's what you gotta be doing in English too. And if you don't know how to write it, if you don't know how to spell it, yeah, that's what the captions might help you with. Um so yeah, so that's it. Thank you for listening. If you what if you listened to my content until the end, uh I love you. I always say that. But I love you. Uh you guys are great. You know it. You know it. You know you're great. I hope you know it. I tell you, I remind you. I hope you listen to me. I hope you take me seriously when I tell you you are great, you support me so much. And uh yeah, it's because of you guys that I can like travel around and visit all of these, you know, check out all these amazing places in Latin America and and to be able to to have all these cool experiences and to share them with you guys. And and yeah, if you have any questions if you have any um things you would like me to talk about, like from my life or my opinions or whatever, you can always um you can always let me know as well in the comments. So that's it. So take care and I'll see you in the next one. Bye bye.