🎣 Episode 3 – “The Scammer Playbook: Baiting the Hook” 😈

Think scammers only find victims on dating apps? Think again. In this episode, we shine a light on the digital traps set across LinkedIn, Instagram, and beyond — I reveal how these emotional predators tailor their stories, gain your trust, and begin the grooming process. From casual conversations to calculated manipulation, I walk you through the early moves in the scammer’s playbook — including the red flags I missed when “Pedro” first entered my life. Because once you see how they bait the hook, you’ll be less likely to bite.

Transcript

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Episode three. The scammer playbook baiting the hook. Let me tell you a secret. The scammer industry hopes you don't know. They're not just waiting for you on dating apps. They're already watching you on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, wherever you think you're safe. In this episode of the Romance Scam Rebellion, we're going behind enemy lines to expose where the scammers lurk and how they lure people like you and me. When life hands you loss, heartbreak, and loneliness, that's when they strike. Where do vulnerable people go when they're searching for companionship? Well, that's exactly where the scammers are waiting, and they are looking for you. Let me repeat that. They are actively hunting you every single day. They scour every social media site looking for targets. Their method is to start out cold calling. You know that age old sales tactic to obtain new customers. Seeing who's willing to engage them long enough for them to insert their foot in your door. So how did I, someone cautious surrounded by friends, not even on any dating apps, get targeted. Let me tell you how it started. I was married, once, got divorced, had other relationships, but none worked out. I wasn't huge on social media. I got off Facebook about 10 years ago. I wasn't on any dating sites and only had a presence on one social media site, LinkedIn. In fact, A A RP reports 70% of LinkedIn scams. Target women over 50. Hey, I mind my own business here. What the, but as I reflect back, I see that there were multiple attempts from this site to get me to engage in conversation with somebody I didn't know at the time. I naively assumed LinkedIn was a safe space. I do recall receiving an email a few years back from a man who found my email address on LinkedIn and contacted me out of the blue. He had a big speech about how his wife had died in childbirth, but had raised his daughter as a single parent. He was a business owner, had two homes, one here in the US and one in Europe. It is obvious now, but at the time I was totally unaware that this was most likely a scammer looking for a target. He let it be known that he was looking for a companion. When he came across my profile, he wanted to assure me that he was safe and trustworthy and how it's important to always be honest in relationships. I remember he made a big point of that. He pointed me to his website to prove he was who he claimed to be. As I scrolled through his website, I came across a picture of him and right next to him was a woman of approximately equal age, a young adult woman nearby, and a young man standing behind them. I wrote back questioning who the other people in the picture were with him and never heard back from him again. The scammer had not thoroughly done his homework and had missed this important detail in trying to convince me that he was who he said he was. My thought at the time was, okay, this guy's a liar and a cheater, but I still didn't realize that it was most likely a scammer. Fast forward to March, 2023. I had just gotten back from a work trip in Paris a couple of days earlier, and here was an attractive man reaching out to me on LinkedIn. I was still in the post Paris glow and accepted his connection request. I was hesitant at first. He was about 10 years younger than me, but he reassured me that that didn't matter to him, and I let my guard down. Not only that, but I haven't been in a relationship in a very, very long time. I was very nervous and insecure, but tried to play it cool and not be available every time he texted me. Looking back, I see it clearly now. I was a perfect target. When Pedro came calling, let the grooming begin, he asked me, pretty normal, get to know you questions. Found out I was single and proceeded to tell me that he had been born in Spain, but currently lived in San Diego and had been in the US for the last 20 years. Both his parents died in a car accident when he was about 14, so he was raised by his Aunt Judy. His wife died from cancer about five years earlier, and he had one son, Aiden, who attended school in Texas, which I found curious. He was a freelance supervising engineer who did repair work on oil rigs. He also owned some real estate here in the us, raised Catholic. He went to church every Sunday. Claimed to be very devout. He was very friendly, of course, and I figured having an attractive male friend to talk to wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I wondered since his wife had died, maybe he might be in the market for a companion, within a week or so, he sent me another picture of himself and I just remember thinking, oh my God, it looks like he just walked out of a photo shoot of some men's magazine cover. I threw all caution to the wind and did a swan dive off the cliff and stuck my landing deep into the rabbit hole. He quickly became possessive and kept telling me not to talk to another man, which I thought a bit silly and strange, much to my amazement. About six weeks after Pedro reached out, another man on LinkedIn sent me a message wanting to join my list of contacts. This guy's name supposedly was Michael Herman from Belgium. I wondered why I was so popular all of a sudden. Anyway, apparently he was an architect, had recently moved to Texas and in his mid sixties was building a new business here in the us. His wife died about seven years earlier, but he said he just buried himself in work and now he wanted to meet someone here in the us. He claimed to be a practicing Catholic and wanted to know if I'm recalling this correctly, am I a woman of God? He started texting me frequently and bombarded me with questions. What do you like to do? What's your favorite movie? Things like that. But he had a ton of them. After about a week, he asked me if I was talking to anyone else online. When I told him I was, he seemed fairly unfazed and wanted to continue towards a relationship. I figured since I had told. Him about Pedro. I should. If being fair, also, tell Pedro about this other guy. Once I did, Pedro became very territorial and told me I should quit talking to Michael. Two men, maybe three. Eerily similar stories, two different approaches, but the same. Ultimate goal, emotional control. In the next episode, I'll show you exactly how these scammers tighten their grip and how to recognize them when they come calling. I am Manola Johnson, and this is the Romance Scam Rebellion. Self-compassion isn't weakness, it's resistance. See you next time.