🧩 Episode 7: Rationalization is More Important than Sex 🧩

When love feels perfect, we don’t question it — we justify it.

This episode digs into the emotional contortions we perform to protect a fantasy. From sweet texts to shady investment pitches, you'll hear how scammers exploit our hopes—and how we silence our instincts to keep the dream alive.

It’s not just manipulation. It’s rationalization—the scammer’s favorite accomplice.

Transcript

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Why is it what you just said strikes me as a massive rationalization? Don't knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don't know anyone who'd get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex. Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex. Oh, yeah. Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization? Sometimes the only way to survive the wreckage is to zoom out far enough to see the absurdity. The mental gymnastics, the sheer insanity of what we'll convince ourselves of when we think love is on the line. That's why I dropped this clip. It's from one of my all time favorite eighties movies, the Big Chill, and this scene played out by Jeff Goldblum and Tom Barringer is not just clever and funny. It's painfully accurate. Then now, and especially when you're deep in a scam, when you're just being played. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than desire is how far you'll stretch to justify it. I know, I know. The material I've been talking about in this series is brutal. It's raw, humiliating, and honestly, it's the kind of thing that most people would rather bury than broadcast. But here I go if you'll remember. Pedro reached out to me on March 27th, 2023. Even though we were texting multiple times a day every day by the second week of meeting, he was telling me that he loved me. I could tell he wanted me to repeat the same back to him. And although I was entirely infatuated with him, what I felt more was a need to please. I thought it was kind of fast for this type of revelation, but then. The first of many justifications. I thought if I say it, it may not be true yet, but probably will be in the near future. Besides, I've heard other people knowing from the first time they met, they'd be together forever. So I just told him what he wanted to hear. So this rationalization not just a lie to him, but a compromise I made to myself. A tiny betrayal dressed up as optimism. A short time later we did a couple of brief video chats on Skype, but I really only saw him for a few seconds at a time. He told me that for some reason FaceTime on his iPhone wasn't working right and when we Skyped he was unable to get our faces on it the same time. One second, it was his face. The next just me. This repeated a couple of times, like a really sad, magic trick. I couldn't tell you today if this was an AI version of the guy he was impersonating or not. All I know is that he had a very thick accent that I couldn't distinguish, but every day I would receive messages that made me feel like I was the most important person in his life, that he loved me, that he had found his soulmate messages, like Good morning, my queen. Every time I see you, it feels like the sun is shining just a little brighter. You have a way of making the world feel more exciting and full of possibilities. I can't imagine going through my day without you by my side. Thank you for being my constant source of happiness, xo, and Embedded in this message is my heart. With thousands of hugs and billions of kisses for you because you are worth more than the world to me. I am sorry. I want to be there to hold you in my arms during the course of the night, but I hope you have an awesome time enjoying your day, but keep thinking of me, love bombing. It's priority number one for scammers hearing words like this, after so many years of not having any attention is hypnotic. It's like a narcotic. It only made me desire for more. No one had ever spoken to me like this before. You know there's probably good reason for that. Do real people talk like this? Would I talk like this? Would any man I've ever known talk like this? If you've ever received love messages like these, please share them with me. We're building an archive, not of heartbreak, but proof. Proof that this isn't love. It's a script, and if we can decode the script, we can dismantle their whole playbook. Rationalization is what's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Do yourself a favor. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into this. These messages are just the prelude to the next phase of their manipulation. Next comes the investment hook. By the middle of April, we were making plans to meet up at the end of the month when he casually threw out the idea that we should go in together on an investment that he had heard about from his friend. He said the investment was lucrative and this would help us financially. Here's how that conversation went. I'm using his exact words so he can hear his English skills. And I wanna be clear about this. I'm not mocking anyone who's not a native English speaker, but when you combine this detail with the other clues I'm sharing, you can make your own determination. Pedro, so I'm thinking we should have some investment together, hun. It will be joint investment and you could have access to it.'cause you know I will always be busy to get in there. Me, I'm glad you'll trust me with something like that. Just know I will never take advantage. Pedro, I know you won't, babe. Yeah, that's right, because he already knew the truth about this investment. Me. Are you sure you want to start a joint account with me this soon, Pedro? We can invest some grants and see how it works. According to my colleague, he said it's very lucrative and profitable like we both will invest in it. Hun me, how much do you need me to add to it? Pedro? Well, it's depends on you, my love, but I'm pretty sure it really help us in the future. It's also depends on what plan we want to enroll on. How much do you think will be better to invest? My love Me? Hmm? I need to find out more about the specifics of the investment, Pedro? Yes, of course. You'll have to study about it too. Me? Can we figure this all out later? Pedro, I would be glad if we were enroll in it, hun. But you'll have to review the company to know better about them too. Are you there hun? Me? Yes, I'm here. I just got a bit of an unsettling feeling. Pedro. What feelings, hun? It just seems a bit early to be investing together. Should I be seeing a red flag here? Pedro, this is something that will be of good benefit for us. That's why I thought I should let you know seeing a red flag there. Can you better explain to me? Hmm. It just sounds like a classic scam. Get a woman to trust you and then try to get money from her. Pedro. Oh my God. What the hell are you saying? I'm disappointed to hear this from you. Me. It is just that stuff like this happens all the time. Oh God, I don't even know what to think now, Pedro, I don't need your money for anything. I was only suggesting what would be a benefit for us as couples and all you couldn't think is this me? I know what I wanna believe, but this stuff happens so often. Pedro, I'm really disappointed right now. If you don't trust me, what the hell are we doing then? Me? I tell you what, why don't you open a joint account in both our names using only your money? Since I make about 1% of what you make, let's see if you're okay taking that risk. Pedro. I already have investment in my name, which I told you I suggested that for us because I thought it's right. I should let you know as my partner. But I will say I'm highly disappointed in you for thinking of I want your money for any reason. Me, I'm so sad. If you're real, can we just stop talking about joint investing until we get to know each other better? Pedro, hello Enola. I wonder what you're doing with someone you think is not really, if we don't talk about our future, that means it's not a relationship. I'm not here for a chit chat. I want someone I can love, trust, and do everything together, okay? I'm a will disciplined man, and I don't like people taking me for granted because I suggested things that will help us as a couple. I'm so pissed now when I reflect back on this. I am horrified. I was right all along, but I was so deep in that rabbit hole. I couldn't believe my own intuition. I allowed him to expertly manipulate me into thinking that he was really thinking about us and our future together. I thought I knew better. I did know better, but I just couldn't let go of the fantasy to face the truth. I talked myself into accepting his suggestion and just tried to put off moving forward on it for the time being. I was doubting myself instead of him. That's what they count on. I. Rationalization at its finest. Ladies and gentlemen, have you been here? Have you defied all logic? In order to follow your fantasy, let me know. Email me at Romance scam rebellion@gmail.com. If any of this sounds familiar, now is the time to quit beating yourself up. Just start paying attention scammers know how to exploit hope. What they count on is silence and shame. We need to break that silence. Join the rebellion. Share this episode. Send your story, and let's turn their manipulations into our ammunition. Until next time, self-compassion isn't weakness. It's resistance.