Episode 13 — 🌊💥 Aftershocks: The Ripple Effects 💔🔍

Season finale. After the initial shock of a romance scam, the damage doesn’t stop — it ripples through every part of your life. From identity theft to fake crypto schemes, government inaction to emotional and physical fallout, this episode breaks down the lasting aftershocks that survivors face every day.

I share my personal story of betrayal, not only with my scammer, but also with fraudulent crypto investments, and the frustrating bureaucracy that leaves victims unprotected. We also explore how Big Tech enables these scams — and why it’s time to demand accountability.

If you or someone you love has been targeted, this episode offers hard-earned lessons, a call to action, and the reminder that resistance is part of healing.

Trigger Warning: Financial fraud, emotional trauma, identity theft

Transcript

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Episode 13 Aftershocks, the Ripple Effects. And here we are, the season finale of the Romance Scam Rebellion. Over the past 12 episodes, we've explored the manipulation, the heartbreak, the moments of denial and awakening, and now we arrive at the aftermath. Today's episode is about what happens after the scam gets discovered. When the shock fades, but the damage keeps, rippling the scam. It felt like a massive earthquake, sudden disorienting and devastating. One minute you think you're on solid ground. The next, your world is cracking open beneath your feet. But here's the thing about earthquakes. The initial shock isn't the end of it after every quake. The aftershocks smaller, yes, but no less dangerous. Shaking your confidence, rattling your stability, making it nearly impossible to feel safe again. In today's episode, we're going to break down those aftershocks from identity theft to crypto traps. From the emotional fallout to government inaction, we'll explore how the damage spreads. Here's an aftershock. More of a realization after the fact because it took way too long for it to sink in that so many of these crypto companies are fraud traps. This is where a lot of trusting people can get hooked because they've already been manipulated enough to trust their scammer. And the suggestion when presented like a great opportunity can be justifiable in one's brain. Do you know how crypto works? I didn't, and I still dunno much about it. If you don't, why would you let someone you've never met, convince you to invest? Do you know that this is the preferred currency of the scam world? Ask yourself why you have to take the extra effort to turn cash into crypto when you could just transfer money into a bank account much more easily. But don't do that either. It's because crypto is next to impossible to trace. No chance of recovery. Remember this before you send your life savings to this person. Don't be swayed by promises of huge returns in a short time. That's not investing. It's bait if you're truly interested in crypto, that's fine, but do your homework. Do it on your own terms. Get a second opinion from a reputable finance company that you actually have heard of. Do it because you believe in it, not because some stranger online made it sound like a shortcut to wealth. Scammers often create fake crypto websites that look almost exactly like the real ones. Same name, same logo. Even the same layout, but there's always a tiny difference. Maybe they misspell one word in the company's name or they use a slightly different web address like.net instead of.com, or one extra letter you wouldn't catch unless you're really looking. It's meant to fool you at a glance. And for people who aren't used to checking URLs closely, it works. That's how they get their foot in the door. Their deception can go on for a long time. I didn't do that in the beginning. I did look at the link I was given and noticed that one of the words was misspelled, although that bugged me. It did pull up an active website and I trusted Pedro at that point, so I just overlooked it after shock. The gifts that keep on giving identity fraud during the course of the year. Pedro talked me into providing my social security number, my id, dot me login, bank account information, all the stuff you should never give anyone at the end of the year. I received one final gift from Pedro as he stole my information and identity. He actually tried to file taxes under my name before I got my real taxes sent in and tried to get a fraudulent return sent directly to him. Luckily, he wasn't competent enough to do that, and the information was incomplete. So the IRS sent me a letter, which alerted me to this scam. They are now aware my identity was compromised, so that won't happen again. What a bottom feeder after shock things I never thought about. Remember when I cashed out those IRA accounts? Because I did that, that now becomes income as far as taxes are concerned. The state tax commission and the IRS assumed I made much more that year than my actual income, and now that I have been completely wiped out financially with no ability to borrow money. Now the tax man comes calling as well, saying I owe over$65,000 for the year of 2023. Aftershock. Once you've been targeted, your name gets shared or sold to other scammers, they reach out again and again hoping to ensnare you in multiple ways. I've had many attempts at people contacting me after the scam was discovered, saying they were investigating the first two crypto scam investments and for the low, low price of$800 or so, they could get the money released and sent to me. Another person texted me to tell me her name and said I could find her on LinkedIn. She said her boss lost$5 million to these crypto scams and that he was investigating and wanted my help. She refused to identify herself beyond the name of someone on LinkedIn, so I blocked her. Even an entire year later, Mr. James K. Henderson sent me an email asking me when I had time to talk. I didn't bother responding. I beg you, don't fall for this. Don't engage with this scam cleanup crew. It's simply just another scam. They prey on people who are already down but the financial toll isn't the only thing that lingers. Aftershock, as if that weren't enough. There's the physical toll. This is why I've been advocating self-compassion in every episode. This struggle takes a real toll on your health. There was a point during this time I thought I had TMJ. It's a condition where the hinge of your jaw doesn't work, right? The symptoms include jaw pain, headaches, not being able to fully open your mouth. I even went to my dentist who told me I must be grinding my teeth at night, but I knew that wasn't it. Then one day I caught myself clenching my jaw during the day after I thought about it, I realized I've been doing this for months now. It all made sense. Disruption in sleeping habits. I wasn't sleeping well. I did tell my doctor what was happening and she made me come in monthly for a while. She eventually prescribed antidepressants, something I've never needed before in my life. Inability to concentrate or focus. I was in a fairly new job when this all started to take place. I just wasn't myself. I wasn't doing well at my job. It showed I'm lucky to still be there. I seem to age more in the last couple of years than in the 10 years previous. Stress has never been my friend and it shows depression. I'm lucky I made it out alive. I heard the stories of others who did not. So I'm very grateful to still be here to warn you my sincere condolences if your family has been subjected to the ultimate tragedy of these scams. You've heard the aftershocks. Now let's quickly review and break down exactly how the quake was set in motion. The scripts they use manipulation tactics and the price they hope you'll pay to hear them. Whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Here's the mechanics of how these scams work, and we'll add to this list as I hear from you and what you noticed. First, they start with the emotional setups, the things you want to pay attention to. In any new relationship, the dead spouse or chilling reason for separation, they always have a professional career. Oil rigs are a classic high ranking military gem dealers, et cetera. Religious convictions to mimic honesty, trust, and integrity. They profess to be financially well off A quick offer of love, anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, you'll hear they've fallen in love with you. Love bombing. Morning and evening messages of love, the routine use of the word soulmate. Plans to meet you in person, seemingly concerned about your daily eating and hygiene habits. After all, they don't want you to fall over dead before they strip you of all your money. Are these conversation fillers also? Has anyone had a scammer with more than one child, let me know, but usually it's just one child. Next from early on throughout the relationship. These are the logistical setups you can expect. If any of these are happening to you right now, you are being scammed. Contact someone you trust and talk to them or email me. A planned meeting with them suddenly falls through because of unexpected circumstances, repeated changes in their plans, different excuses for delays in returning to meet you. Finally, here's the point. They're all heading towards the ask or what I like to call, how shall I scam thee? Let me count the ways. It's always, I repeat. It's always about money. The subject will come up, guaranteed. Be ready. The frozen bank account need for materials, fuel funds, medical emergency for the scammer or their child, their phone was dropped. It's difficult to communicate. Now. Of course, they need money to buy a new one. Fake crypto investment companies with phony dashboards. Gift cards, fraudulent checks, credit card chargeback scams, requests to send money via wire transfers or Bitcoin ATMs, which turn cash into crypto and sends to your scammer. They even try to turn you into their personal money laundering. Patsy outsourcing the crime while keeping their own hands. Squeaky clean a money mule. Remember James K. Henderson, enough said, I have experience with each one of these scams and more it is demoralizing to revisit the amount of time, energy, and trust I put into my scammers only to have them betray me in the worst possible ways. Now, here's where things get even more frustrating, what our governments are or rather aren't doing in October, 2024. 10 months after my nightmare ended, I received two, not one, but two letters from the Department of Health and Human Services from my state that read. Dear Ola, our mission at Adult Protective Services is to protect Utah's seniors and vulnerable adults. One of the greatest threats we see are scammers. We were recently informed that you may have been targeted by a scam or fraud. We want to make sure you have the tools and information to protect yourself now and in the future. To report a scam, you may contact, blah, blah, blah. We're also enclosing more resources for additional help. Stay safe. They sent me pamphlets. Pamphlets on how to stay safe. Wow. Just wow. This is Utah's version of help. A letter telling me how to report it after it's all over 10 months down the road. That's not protection. That's a paper trail. Are they going to help me recover my money, pay off my debts that are crushing me to this day? What exactly is this department doing besides sending out letters? So yes, I am paying tax dollars for two letters that showed up 10 months too late letters I didn't need by then because the crime had already been committed. The state won't even forgive the tax burden they're pressuring me to pay, even though I've shown them in black and white. Just how much money I don't have. Thanks guys. I think I've got it figured out now, but appreciate you all the same. Just a little Utah lingo for you. I'd honestly like to know, are other states better at this? Let me know if yours is. I don't think this is just a Utah problem. However, more like a national shrug, a slow bureaucratic whisper in response to a digital scream. I do know that certain branches of the federal government are working very hard to fight this crime, but frankly, they need help. If you are in a different country listening to this, is your government dealing with this any more effectively for their people? This all highlights my mission here to shine a brighter light on these scamming cockroaches who only operate in the dark. That's why I'm doing this podcast. But also to push for something to change. Maybe this should get political. Would the politicians pay attention if we band together and start making more noise, creating more incentive to take action? What if we actually demanded more from our governments? Would they find the political spine to stand up to big tech and pass laws that force platforms to protect their subscribers, or will they collapse under the pressure as usual? Can we add pressure from the voter side? Can we push a spine back into these politicians? And most importantly, more education, more compassion, and more visibility for the targets of the scammers. What's infuriating is how these tech companies, the ones that started out promising to connect us, have turned into greedy, modern day robber barons, data vampires, algorithmic overlords, and soulless profiteers. They don't protect us, they monetize us. They manipulate their own users for profit while enabling scams to spread like wildfire. Where's their integrity? Where's the accountability? Are these outdated, forgotten ideals, part of America's past? Why can't these companies do the right thing without being publicly shamed or forced into it? And hey, if big Tech doesn't like me saying this, maybe they should spend less time mining our data and more time mining for a conscience just saying. It shouldn't take the targets of these scams begging for scraps of protection to make them act. Maybe it's time we stop asking nicely. Maybe it's time we create the need for change. Let big tech squeal into their mission statements. The same ones about safety and community. They paced over every scandal. If they spent half as much time fighting scams as they do hiring crisis PR firms and scrubbing their data image, we wouldn't be up to our necks in this sewage. And if they wanna throttle my posts or shadow, ban me for saying it, go right ahead. You'll save me the trouble of proving your guilt. I guarantee you, if these huge tech companies had to pay restitution for the losses, victims face their content moderation, teams would be working at lightning speed. Those platforms would be scrubbed clean overnight if it was their money at risk. The final point is this, once you've been scammed, the pain doesn't stop when the money's gone. It lingers in your inbox, in your credit score, your jaw, your insomnia, your inability to focus. It's with you every day whispering, why didn't I see this sooner? But maybe, maybe it's time to stop asking why me? And start asking what now? And this fight is just getting started. These cowardly sewer rats thrive in the dark. So let's shine the brightest light we can. Let's demand more, more accountability, more protection, bring back integrity, more compassion for those affected. I'm not here to whisper. I'm here to call it like it is. And if that ruffles feathers good, it means that somebody's finally paying attention. That's it for season one of Romance Scam Rebellion. Thank you for walking this road with me. Whether you've listened to one episode or all 13, I'm not done. I'm just getting started. If this season moved, you, challenged you or gave you the language for your own experience, I hope you'll share it. Even if you haven't been scammed yourself, chances are someone you care about could be next. If this has happened to you once or more than once, email me. I want your voice next season. If you have particular insight or expertise with romance scams, I'd love to collaborate with you. Season two is in the works people. In the meantime, stay strong, stay sharp, and keep rebelling. And as always, remember, self-compassion isn't weakness. It's resistance. Thanks for listening.