Seen. Chosen. Scammed. Viola's Story

Scammers don’t target a type — they target vulnerability.
 Gender, age, education, politics, religion, or sexual orientation don’t matter. The tactics are the same.

In this episode, I sit down with Viola Barker, a 68-year-old woman from Ohio who had just come out later in life and was beginning again after a decades-long marriage. What followed was not a random encounter, but a textbook romance scam that unfolded exactly the way these operations are designed to work.

From an unsolicited message in an online community, to intense mirroring and emotional bonding, to fabricated military service, love bombing, future-faking, and escalating financial demands — Viola’s experience walks us step-by-step through the scammer playbook. You’ll hear how sympathy was weaponized, how isolation crept in, how secrecy was encouraged, and how requests for help turned into crypto ATM deposits, fake inheritances, and an $84,000 “vault” that never existed.

As you listen, test yourself.
 How many patterns do you recognize?
 How early would you have spotted them?

Viola shares not just what happened, but how it felt — the loneliness, the hope, the shame, and the psychological grip that made obvious contradictions easy to explain away in the moment. Her story is a powerful reminder that these scams don’t begin with money. They begin with connection — and they work because they hijack the brain long before logic has a chance to intervene.

If you think this could never happen to you, this is the episode you need to hear.

Transcript

 Welcome back. I've said it before. Scammers don't care about your gender, your sexual orientation, your education, your political leaning, religion, none of that matters. The same tactics were used on my next guest, Viola Barker. It's the same ones used on most other victims, and you'll hear the same playbook that was used.

My goal is to help everyone start recognizing these patterns that play out over and over again, so you already know where the conversation is headed before they lead you down that path. So first there's the cold call out of the blue somebody reaches out. Then there's mirroring. The scammer tries to get to know you by asking lots of questions about you.

You, on the other hand think they're really interested in you and it seems nice that somebody actually wants to know about you and your life. But what's really happening is that they are only gathering intel on you so that they know how to play you later on to see how receptive you might be to their game.

Next, an offer, a friendship in which they'll typically give you a sympathetic backstory about themselves that really tugs at your heartstrings. There may be a short phone call or video call, but after a few sessions, texting is the overwhelming choice of communication. Then within a short time span, the beginning of the love bombing and the future faking overwhelming you with attention, kindness, and love.

But they don't stop with just saying, I love you. They create a fantasy relationship, a marriage, a perfect future together. Then the Ben Franklin effects kicks in This effect says that it makes the one doing the favor like and trust the receiver of the favor more, even though it would seem to be the opposite.

Then comes isolation and secrecy. As you listen to her story, test yourself. See how many patterns you recognize. Here's my interview with Viola. She didn't wanna be on camera, so if you're watching this on the video, there's nothing wrong with your screen.

Hi everybody. Today I have a guest, Viola Barker from Ohio. This lady was married for a long, long time. She got divorced and decided that she needs to live her truth, which means that she has realized that she is gay. So once she got divorced, she did join an online lesbian group in Ohio. So we're gonna listen to her story.

And Viola, thank you so much for being with me today. Can you start off by just telling us a little bit about that, you know, your background and then how you were first contacted by your scammer? Okay. Well, I was married to a man for 49 years and, um, I divorced him back in, uh, 2014 because I had the feeling all my life that I was a lesbian, and it turned out that, that's where my life is ending up to. And um, I was able to go on Facebook and just get into a group, like you said, and just talk with some of the other females that, that this has happened to and, and how life has turned out. And I was able to join them. They accepted me to join and, um. One day I was just out with a friend and I got a, a from Messenger.

I got a friend request from, from this certain person that wanted to be my friend. And it was like, well, I really didn't trust, but I didn't have no friends. I was kind of living an isolated life, staying by myself, and I didn't even have a dog to take care of me. So I thought, yeah, what the heck? So I, I hit her, said yes, and we started talking.

And she told me that she was in the military, that she took care of dogs. And I thought, oh, that was the greatest thing, because I just love dogs. And so we hit it off real good with talking about dogs. And then she told me about being in the service and I told her, I guess I actually, I should say, is she asked a lot of questions about my life that she wanted to know, you know?

Um. What do you work or do you have many friends and, and what's, what's your daily routine? And things like this. And it's like, oh, I thought, well that's really nice of her to, you know, ask about this. You know, she's somebody I don't know. And come to find out, she was like 20 years younger than me too. So it was a big age difference.

And I told her right from the start, I'm a lesbian, and I said, I am 68 years old. Oh, that's okay. That's just the number. And I'm a lesbian too, you know, I just lost my, my partner and you know, and blah, blah blah. Went on with the story and I felt sorry for her, right? So I thought, oh, this will be nice to have a friend, somebody in the army, and especially with the dogs that that could learn so much.

If I was to get a dog, maybe she could help me train mine too. So we just chit chatted for a while and it probably went on for. Three or four days. And and what year was this? That that started, sorry. That started in, um, actually this year, well, well, this last year, 2025. Okay. Back, back in probably August, around that way.

We got, we got talking and, um, she, you know, she, she just said how, how hard her life was and she wanted to, uh, be a good. Soldier because her father was a soldier over in Germany and blah, blah, blah. We went on, she was, made me feel sorry for her and I accepted her as a friend and it just, all the sympathy, you know, my heart went out to this poor girl, this poor person, you know, she has nobody, no family to talk to.

She said she had a half-sister, but, but she never talked to her because the sister didn't like her because she was a lesbian. So anyway, so we just chit chatted, chit chatted, and then one day she came and she would always work late. I, I never understood this in, in the Army. She would work like six days a week, uh, Monday through Saturday, and she wouldn't get off till like six, seven o'clock at nighttime.

And she had to, I just thought that was very strange. But, and where and where is she located? Supposedly? Supposedly she was in Missouri, she was in Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. She was a dog trainer there. And so I thought, oh, that, you know, that sounds, sounds like fun and well, it sounds like it would be a job.

And so anyway, she was doing a. Project for her commander, um, with certain dogs that she had to make, these dogs had to do certain things and so she was putting together the training program to, for these dogs to do it, but the computer she had was old and she needed a newer one and one that for games that you could play games on.

And I said, oh, well, you know, I, I feel sorry for you. I'm, I'm sorry it doesn't work, but I said, won't the Army buy you that? Because you hear all these stories about, oh, the Army, I needed this, and so they went and got me this and this and that, and she said, no, that they cut the money to her unit that they're, that they're not allowed to get any money or buy anything.

And I said, oh, well, I'm sorry about that. So she was going on, yeah, it's not your fault, you know, I just have to learn to do this and blah, blah, blah. And so dummy me, oh, what kind of computer do you want? You know, I said, you can go on Amazon. Go on Amazon and, and find one that you want. And so, okay, so I'm thinking, you know.

$2,000, $2,100. You know, that would be a win. Or you offered, she didn't ask. You offered. Correct. I have to admit that. Yes. I have to admit that she, she did, I did offer. And so she goes, oh, well. So she was gone for a while and she came back. Now I'm thinking, okay, well, well it was $3,500, you know? And I was like, whoa, okay.

You sure that's what, that's the one that you need? Yeah. And then I need this and, and this and this to go with it. And it's like, I think it ended up being close to $5,000, but it was like. Okay, well, anything I can do to help you, because like I said, you know, I felt sorry for her and she's in the world all by herself, supposedly, and, and all the help she, she could get, she would really appreciate.

So that went on and I, I did that, but come to find out, well then she, I felt so sorry for her. I said, well, let me get you a few other things, you know, so I had a couple care packages sent up, but the care packages had to be sent to Georgia. And she was in Missouri, or Yeah, Missouri. That odd. Yeah. I thought, no, but that doesn't make sense.

Oh, no. That's the way we do it because everything's secret here. It's, it's secret. I'm thinking, okay. Yeah, it's secret. All right. Well then once the, the packages got to where they were supposed to be going, she needed another $3,000 and that's where the Bitcoin thing came in. And um, well if you can get the money and you can find a bitcoin.

Um, atm, ATM somewhere around you. I looked all over. Okay. Little, little places I never thought would have a ATM machine look like, like a bar or old gas station or something. Yeah. So I found that got the money. Sent it to her, and then everything was, was okay. You know? Um, it, oh yeah, they got the money, so now they're gonna ship the package from Georgia to me here, and I'll have it.

Thank you so much. That was so nice of you. You know, that's like $8,000, but you know, here I didn't care because I wanted to help her and so blah, blah, blah. Things went on and I never did hear. That she got the stuff, but she come. Then it was, uh, that's when the vault or her uncle got ahold of her on a Sunday, and he lives in London, England, and, and he says that he's been

watching this vault was, supervising this fault that her parents had, had things saved for her. Like some diamonds and some rubies and some art, some fan fancy art too, you know, and we'll, we'll just be rich forever, you know? We can have the happy life, it'll be great, but you know, I have to make you me meaning me trustee of it, and.

They wanna know where to deliver and I told 'em to deliver to your house. And so we have to find the closest airport 'cause it's gonna be shipped from, from uh Europe to to Ohio. And then when I get out, you know, we'll, we'll meet up and we'll get it. We'll have the best life that okay. And it's like, okay, that sounds really great.

So. You know they need this, they needed like a driver's license, they needed some papers and my address and the address of the airport. So got that all taken care of. And then that's when things kind of went nasty with my bank. 'cause when I was able to get the, find out how much money that we had to have to have it shipped to where it was, it was like, oh, I can't believe that much money.

And people were telling me that to open a vault up and stuff. There's no money. It doesn't cost anything. It's just the, the relative is there, opens it up and that's it. Then they take it. Is that like a safety deposit box over here? I'm thinking so I'm thinking a big vault was something really big and they had to ship it over, you know, on a truck and, and all kinds of stuff.

But yeah, once I looked into it and things, yeah, I believe it was like a safety deposit box. With different things. They're telling you that Yep. They, they needed a ton of money to Yep. To send it over. Yeah. They, for, they needed like $50,000 for this, $30,000 for this, and $3,000. It ended up being about, I think it was 84,500

$84,500 to ship it over. And you can have the time of your life and you'll have a great life. You know, you'll be rich and you both will be live happily ever after. Well, but she was still in the army, wasn't getting out of the army until, uh, I believe like the end of this year right now, 2026. She had one more year, then she could retire.

But yeah, that's, that's kind of the story. And then the things that happened with my bank was wasn't too good. So when you get kicked outta your bank that you've been banking in for 50 years, that's pretty bad, I guess. Now, what did you do with the bank that made them unhappy with you? Uh, what did Oh, the bank.

Yes. Okay. That's when I went in there. What it was, was it was some money that I was able to get from my retirement, of course, when I was a factory worker and I worked at, at a place for 38 years and they moved the shop to another place, but I had enough time and I could, I could retire. So anyways, but I started, um.

My 401k back in like 1981, so it was a pretty, pretty good bite of stuff. So it was like, okay, I'll see if I can get it. Well, I was able to get that money and I, I had it to my bank. Well, when I told my bank what I wanted to do with the money, they were like, oh no, you can't do that. And I said. Yes, I can.

It's my money, you know, and, and I was told, this is where, oh no, that's a scam. I said, well, how do you know it's a scam? You know? Well, because that's what we do. We're we're the bank. And I said, no. I was told to get a cashier's check. A cashier's check and mail it to this bank. And I had all the information that was in Utah and, uh, had all the information down and see the information and to ship it there.

And they told me they couldn't do that, that they had to do a wire. Money wire. The money wire transfer. Yes. A wire transfer. Uhhuh. And I said, okay, we'll do a wire transfer. 'cause I said, it's gotta go, it's gotta go. And so the man gave me a hard time. He goes, you know, once this money is gone, you're not getting back.

I go, I. It's okay. It's my friend. I'm helping her out. This is gonna be great. No, this is a scam. No. So he did it and I left the bank and about 20 minutes later, the fraud department called me from this particular bank that I was dealing with. And it's like, okay. He goes. You really should get this money back.

He says it's, it's, this is a fraud. This is nothing but a scam. We, we know about these people and they have done it before. And I said, seriously? And he goes, yes, this is, and he says, and time is of the essence. You have got to get it back now. Tell me to get it back and I will try to see what I can to get it back.

I said, okay, well then get it back then. And I guess just before. The people were gonna collect the check that this bank, the fraud department did get the money back and they pulled it back and, and then there was no money there at that bank for these people to get that vault and ship it over here to us.

Was this just one time that you dealt with the bank for this wire transfer and then they kicked you out? Just one thing. Yes. Yes, yes. Wow. Well, they said that this bank particularly did not wanna be involved with any scam. Be hooked to any scam whatsoever. Yeah. I said, okay, yeah, I'm whatever, you know, I'm okay.

I'm out. And then they told me what to do about getting help. Well, the one lady at the bank told me, and I ended up going to the sheriff's department, making out a report of what all, everything that has happened. And then when the detective got ahold of, he came here and talked with me and I explained to him everything that happened.

So he did subpoenas. To the bank because every time when I'd call, they didn't know anything about the money. They were not sure what was gonna happen with it. You know, you might get it back, you might not get it back. You might get it back, or you might, well where is it? No, we don't know where it's at. So, okay.

But I think, my opinion is his subpoenas that said, you know, we're gonna find this money. We just wanna know where the money is, and it's her money. She should get it back. Three days later, FedEx showed up with a check at my door, and there was the money that came from the bank. That was... From the Utah Bank?

No, this one was from my particular bank. Okay. That, that the money came from first. So it never got to the Utah Bank. The what? It was there for maybe a seconds. Yeah. Okay. But maybe seconds or minutes or whatever. That, that's what I do. And I thanked them for, for even, I, I still think it was the subpoenas, but somebody told me they figured it was, yeah, the subpoenas, it looked like it was gonna raise a little bit of hell with the bank.

And the bank didn't wanna get involved with that too, so they just said the, um. But the, the insurance that they have insurance on, the money for like a hundred thousand dollars that they just paid me that money out of that in insurance part is what, what some people told me. So yeah, probably checked with mine.

I, it was a lot more than yours, but I at least, oh, I, I know, and that's, I feel really bad, you know, talking with you about it. Because how dumb was I, I was so shameful, you know, ashamed of myself that, you know, I wanted to hide again. Yeah. Yeah. I just, so, how, so tell me about the, the crypto ATM thing. How did that get presented to you and, and how much money did you have to put into that horrible machine?

Okay. That, that machine, that machine is horrible just to find the things. Okay. And it's, it's like spooky people that run it too. I mean it, you go in there and it's like, oh man, I hate to be in here by myself with, but, and they don't wanna help you. They don't wanna help you. Just, they don't know anything about the machines.

So that, exactly. Nothing at all. And I said, okay. And it was, I had to have the money, but then. I wanted to get it all done. It was for $3,000. I wanted to get it all done at one time. Well, when you first go, they only take a certain amount. Like I think it was maybe. $1,900, it was all it would take. So then I had to go back another day and do the rest of the money to equal the $3,000, but oh, they were so happy they got their money back and or they got their money period, and it was great.

Now I get to get my package and oh, life is gonna be wonderful. Then they hit me with the vault thing that, uh, yeah, uncle such and such, he has been watching this, this vault for my parents and my parents left this to me, and I'm gonna share it with you and we're just gonna have such a great, happy life.

And it's like, ah, it sounds too good to be true, but heck, you know, I mean, you talk to me and, but the money thing that's. That's the thing. I mean, when, like you said, when they start asking for money, that's when you got, you gotta get out of there as quick as you can. Well as, yeah, I'm gonna, you know, I, I am gonna be an advocate for, for early pattern recognition, so Yeah.

Before you even start getting the love bombs, because you got love bombed right? Yes, yes, yes. Right at, right. And then the in between, the love bombs, you guys were still talking and did she. Paint you a picture, you know, a, a picture of what your life was gonna be like. Oh God. Yeah. Oh yeah. You. We're gonna travel or we're gonna do this.

Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. She had a dream one night that we went out to eat dinner and we were in, um, over in, in Italy, we were eating dinner at, at some big fancy restaurant and out by the ocean. And we were just gonna travel here and there and just have a great time. And it's like, oh, that, that sounds really nice.

That'd be nice. And, and we're good dogs. We can go live someplace and we can have as many dogs as we want, and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah, I got hit with that. I should have known right then and there, but you know, they, they just play on your sympathy so much that Well, yeah. They really, they really kind of attack your brain with all of these feel-good hormones that Oh God.

Yeah. As long as they keep talking to you and, and giving you these options for your new life, you know? Yes, yes. I mean, who wants to give that up once you get it? Right? That's true. You can envision it. And, and you feel so happy and you know, tickled. Yes. Tickled just happiest. Give that up. Right. And it's like, oh Viola, my goodness, you should have been smarter than that.

But like you said, it did that. I guess those drugs in your brain, it just takes over and says, oh honey, you are in for the time of your life, you know? And just sit back, enjoy, but pay money, but we'll be okay. Yeah. And you are in for the time of your life, just not how you thought. Exactly. That's true. So that's true.

So how long did it take her. From, your introductions and the love bombing, how long did that last until she first started, you know, saying, oh, I don't have any money. I really need a new computer, yada yada. How long was that? I think that was either about three or five days. She really hit kind of soon.

Yeah. Stock fast. Yeah, it was pretty soon. Wow, that's, yeah, it was pretty soon because, 'cause I'm thinking, you know, at first you, we were just chit-chatting, chit-chatting, and then I, you know, then, oh, you, you, you got work to do. You gotta do, do that project for, with the dogs and you don't have a computer.

And it's like, oh, well, and, and, and my little voice is telling me. Don't offer. Don't offer, don't offer. But my heart says, oh, come on. She's, she's young. She just yet, and she's in the army and needs help, so give her help. You know, but Yeah. 'cause Yeah. Doesn't pay their people. Right? Yeah, I know, I know. I, well, and then the thing, the other funny thing was, and, and everybody told me this was wrong.

I asked her what her rank was, and she said she was a private first class. And I, I said, okay. And I told that to people and they go, that's bullshit. If she's been in the army for 40 years, which supposedly she has been, um, if she doesn't get. After her first year away from private first class, they kick her out of them.

They kick you outta the army. I, I didn't know that, but yeah, that's what I was told. It's like I learn something new every day. Yeah. So I, I said that to her when I, when I talked back and she says, oh, those people don't know what they're talking about. I said, well, it wasn't people that told me. I said, I Googled it.

Oh, well Google, they, they get. Asked questions all the time, and they're always wrong. Things are always changing. I'm going, no, it's not. And, and that's when I, I I, I tried to play along with her, you know, for a little bit just to, but then it hurt so bad that it, and it just messed up my mind so much more that I, I said, that's it.

I can't, I can't do it no more. So how long, when did you start suspecting that things were off?

Was it before you gave that big amount of money, or was it during, after? I'm gonna say it was. It was during. During that money because, you know, she, oh, you know, it was all, or she would pump me up when I went to the bank to send it. You know, like, you, you could go in there, you go in there and you'd be strong.

You'd be the strong woman that, that I know you are, and just tell 'em, this is what you want done. And go in there and make noise and, and be, oh. Dummy me. I went in there and tried and they go, no, we can't do that. We just can't. No. They sent me to another bank. Well, it's the same but a different branch. And I talked to another lady who was very, very nice with me.

She, she was very nice and said, VI you, you gotta realize this is a scam. We, we know these people. They are scam. I go, no, I know she's my friend and no. No, I'm sorry, but we don't wanna be involved with anything like that. Then while I was talking to her, another lady called me from the bank and said, we would like you to take all your money out of our bank right now, you know?

And I said, oh, so you're kicking me out? Yes, we are. I said, okay. Well, you know, I mean, that's. They're, they're in to make business. Oh. And that's, that's what I got told when I told them the, the scammers and they said, oh, they don't have any love. They don't know any love. And they, that's, they're sad. And you know what?

And that was your money and you could do whatever you wanna do with it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you can take it outta my bank. Yeah. I said, they kicked me out. They kicked me outta my bank. Yeah, I got that too. So. They, but my bank kept sending them money. They didn't stop, you know? Right. I mean, even though I was, I was sending hundreds of thousands of dollars Yeah.

Times, you know, um, they questioned it. I had to talk to the fraud department. Mm-hmm. But then in the end, they sent it so. Wow. But in the end, they kicked me out too, so yeah. So it's, oh gosh, it's crazy. So yes it is. And then so how long did your relationship last? When, when did you start pulling away from them?

Oh, right, right then. Right then, uh oh. And let's see. Um, I pulled away probably.

When the money Okay came when they didn't get the money and they were asking, you know, what's going on and we, we really need you to talk. And then supposedly it was her that came back and said, you know, you, you have to get. See what you're gonna do. You know, I said, they told me I have to wait 30 days and I'll hear, well, 30 days isn't that long.

It'll be okay. And so then I, I kept talking with her for a little bit, but we didn't talk like we, we talked in the beginning. It was just, oh yeah, well. I have to go here, I have to go there and, okay, well, we'll talk later. So we'll talk. So they were short communications, but I was trying to get away, you know, because I, I didn't wanna talk to her anymore because she's fake, you know, it's not even a, not even a woman that I'm talking to, so, and did she, she sent you a picture right of her?

Oh, yeah. Did you ever talk to her on the phone? No. Oh no, wait a minute. No, I think there was two times, but it was only for like two minutes and then we couldn't talk no more. Yeah, it was, I'll talk to you, but okay. What about, how are you doing? You know, this is great and, and I love talking to you and this is, we're having a great time.

Okay, now let's go back and text so and so, and then we text. Did, did she have an accent? No. No accent. No. She was American. That was ai. And they could also. Keep it going for so long or something. Yeah. Yeah. 'cause why would you, you know, why, why? And then what was it? Um, she told me just before I stopped with her, she had me, she said, uh.

Hey babe. She says, this is a payphone that I'm calling you on and it's really costing a lot of money 'cause we're, you're texting me a lot. And I said, well, okay then I just won't text you, you know, anymore a as as often. And she said, well, yeah, I would appreciate it. Maybe you could go to, what was it she wanted me to do?

Teams and I had gotten away from teams, I'd gotten away from Facebook, I had gotten away from, uh, messenger and all that stuff, and I said, no, I can't do teams anymore. I can't. She goes, well, well, why, you know, just, just come and then, and then when I get ready we can video chat with each other. And I said, well, I don't think so because I'm not going back to teams.

And I said, that's when I, I kind of got pissed and I said, well, I can't talk with you anymore. I, I gotta go, you know, this, this is it. And then I made that. After that, I made that long message up telling her, you're fake. You're fake. You know? And, and I don't want anything to do with you. Stay away from me.

Don't contact me. And things are fine. Well, you know, like, like I've told you before, you know, I get, every once in a while, it's about time, probably sometime this week, it'll be, Hey babe, we gotta fix this, you know? And it's like, no, I'm not answering, I'm not doing anything. I just, it just comes across the phone.

And I even got a new phone. Change a number, but I still have the old number now. Didn't she sort of push back on you and try and make you feel guilty for, for trying to kick her outta your mind? Oh, yes. Yes she did. Yes. For getting rid of her. Yeah. How dare I, how could I? Ruined whatever. Everything that we had, we didn't have shit.

You know, I was the one that was given and you just broke me. I can't trust anybody. I said, well, join the point, the thing, 'cause I'm sure as hell ain't gonna trust anybody after all this going on. All but, you know, we had such great time. It was, we loved each other. It's like, no, it wasn't, it was one sided all time.

She never, ever sure, she sent me pictures of this person, but I asked for pictures in her dress uniform. You know, isn't that like, like a fancy picture that you would send, you know, to family and stuff? Yeah. Oh no, she didn't have any. She didn't have any. And it's like, well, well that's kinda strange. And then I'm wondering if these pictures that she sent me too were, were like ai, you know what I mean?

Maybe they was somebody standing and they put her face on or something, you know? Yeah. I mean, anything's possible. So. And another thing that I found interesting when, when we were talking earlier is that. You said that she was 20 years younger than you. Yes. So that was her in her forties. Yes. But she had been in the military for 40 years.

Exactly. Well, I, I figured out it, let's see, one was something to do with 85. I should have wrote that down, but yeah, that's what she said. She only had one more year to then She was, she had 40 years in and she was gonna get out. So she said she got in at right outta high school. And I'm thinking she was born in 85, so who knows?

You know, I mean, I'm trying all this trying to figure, make it so that it was right, you know, that she was real. And she not, and not, you know, I'm just telling myself, oh yeah, okay, we'll figure this out and, and here, okay. She was born here and she lived here. Well, I was trying to get her to tell me what high school she graduated for so that I could get a yearbook, you know, go online and get a yearbook and, and tell, and she told me the name of the high school because when I looked up where she lived, there was like three different high schools.

And were any of them the name that she gave you? Yeah, actually there was, but, but there, but there was, but there was no pictures. There was no nothing there. So, you know, she didn't go there. 'cause she Exactly right. Lying. Well, she's not even alive, you know? It's not even a, a person. Yeah. I mean, did you, did you find yourself.

When you were in the throes of the relationship, just twisting your, twisting everything to to Sure. Make it so that it was real. Yeah. Even though you might have knew the person, right? Oh, yeah. Totally. Totally. Yeah. I mean, there are some things, there are mistakes that these people make, and some of them, they just kind of have to change on the fly, you know? Yeah, yeah. And kind of reinvent their story as they go along because they figure out it doesn't match. Right. Did you ever question her about why do you say you're 40, but you've been in the military for 40 years. Did you ever do the math on that before? Yeah, I thought I had it figured out that it, yeah, it figured out that that's what she said was the truth.

It wasn't. It wasn't. Even though there's no way it could be true. Right, right. It's like, oh, viola, oh, come on already. You know, open your eyes up and you just want it to be real. I think. You know, I mean, who, somebody who cares about you. Somebody who's asking how did your day go? You know, what did you do?

Wants to know. But they wanna know for a reason. They don't wanna know, like being nice and saying, because they care. Yeah, exactly. There is no care unless you send them money and then more money, then we want more money and more money. But, so what was your, what was your last communication with, well, wait a minute.

Yeah. I know that. So the whole thing, did you say only lasted like a couple of months? Yes, about maybe four months. Four months? Okay. Yeah, 'cause because I talked to her, she sent me some stuff in October and I didn't answer back October. So it probably went from July to, I'm gonna say the end of September.

And then once you kind of cut things off with her, um mm-hmm. She sent you something in the mail. Tell us about that. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh yeah. That was a great one. Yeah. First it was a text. You know, you get the text like, oh, are you there? You know, uh, I really care about you. I love you. I miss you, and what's going on with you?

And that, and didn't answer it. So then, um, when I had the, was talking with, uh, the detective and I, I, and I told him about it. He goes. Let's just answer. Let's, I said, can I like scam the scammer, you know, tank? So he goes, yeah, let's, he was sitting here and so we talked and she said, I need you to go check your mailbox.

And I said, I don't feel like going outside. I'm not gonna go check my mailbox. Mailbox is like a thousand feet from the house. And I didn't feel like walking. Yeah. And she, oh no, I sent you something very special. And I said, what? What could you send me special? And so after I got done talking with her, then I walked down there and it was like there was an envelope and she sent me wedding rings.

Wasn't that nice? Real pretty looking, looking wedding rings. And then I got back with her and I said, well. What was I supposed to get? Because I said there was nothing in the mail. I didn't tell her that I received the wedding rings at all. I never ever told. Oh, you did? Yeah, not even today. I didn't tell.

Oh, cool. And, and so I looked at him and it's like, oh, I didn't wanna touch 'em so I, I got ahold of the sheriff's detective and he said, okay, well. We'll, we'll take them and we'll test them to see if they're real. 'cause I thought they were so pretty fake, you know, costume jewelry, that if it was somebody's ring, maybe they can get back to them, you know, because it really looked nice.

So he came and got it and then she wrote back and said. About, she sent the ring, the rings and she said she sent a bunch of papers that's gonna show me that she's legit, that all this is legit. And then a big bunch of flowers she was sending to me, well, didn't get anything but the fake ring. And as a matter of fact, they took and had it tested and couldn't get anything of it, and no fingerprints off the envelope or anything.

And asked me if we want him back. And I said, yeah, 'cause I'm gonna take. The check that I got back and these rings, and I'm gonna frame 'em and put 'em up to remind me that a lot of people are fake and this is what can happen. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So yeah, that, that was a real, I mean, everybody got a laugh out of the Yeah, I got and, and another thing that we noticed when you said when they type, type things at, at, and they make mistakes and stuff, a lot of their grammar is like totally wrong. I mean, they, they can't, they don't spell right. And, and when they say I, it's a small, i, i'll, it'll be small i that went with the two Ls then, you know, like that. And it's like you people. And, and the last one that I got was supposedly from one of her friends.

His name was Jeff and he is a good friend of Mildred's and she said, you are her spouse. So I thought I'd be a, a good friend and reach out to you that I am such a good friend. And it was like. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't know. It's just stupid stuff that they, they're sending now, just little bits and stuff, but I'll tell you, he's her friend then.

You should trust her. Evidently. But be because see, she lost her phone on patrol. She, her phone, she lost it on patrol. What person that has 40 years in the Army is gonna be out on midnight patrol or any patrol at all. I was told the guys, the people that are close to retirement, they can have the cushiest job that they want because they're gonna be gone and they just want, and it's like, oh, I just.

Some of this stuff that they're coming up with this, this, it's kind of funny and sad in a way. Yeah, it's, it's sad now because I'm over. I'm more mad than I am, like sympathy wise, you know, wanna cry about it because believe me, I did. You know what? This was worse for me than my divorce. And I hate to say that, but that's the truth.

I missed this more than, you know, it was nice, I guess, to get rid of him and know the problems and shit that I, but now that you came into your own, you wanted, you know, a real relationship with that you thought you could fall in with? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, this is such, what you're telling me is such a classic example of what so many people go through.

Okay. And they, they do the same things. They, you know, it, it's, there's a real pattern to all of this. Okay. And we just need to, alert people to what those patterns are. And one of 'em is just calling you outta the blue or getting ahold of you out of the blue. Yeah. I agree. They, they make it so, simple to just wanna be your friend.

Yeah. Right. But really, if we think critically about some of these things, yeah. How many people like us would go scouring the internet to find some random person Right. Uh, to try and be friends with. I mean, you don't know about anything about that person. Correct. And would you do that? I wouldn't do that.

I mean no, no. I'm sure there are some, and maybe the ones that are, are on dating websites, you know, that's kind of what they're for. Yeah. And find somebody. Okay. But people who are not on dating websites Yeah. Don't randomly just go and get on a website and look for people. That's creepy. Yes. Very. It's not only creepy, it's the only people do it who do it are manipulators or desperados.

Yeah. Right, right. Like totally desperate and, and I don't think that are any normal, you know, people. Would try that. Okay. But that's what happens all the time. And yeah, it just, it catches us by surprise. By surprise the victim and, and you. You know, it's kinda like, oh, somebody wants to be my friend.

That's exactly right. So yes. Right. We can all use more friends. Right, right, right, right. But not that kind of friend. Right. Yeah. Not that kind of friend. Yeah. So I think that we just are living in a different world than we grew up in. Yes. And we, we have to adapt to the current times, which means now, instead of our brains thinking, oh, this is a possible friend.

No, this is definitely a scammer unless you prove otherwise. Exactly. So, um, that's, my takeaway from all of this. What would you like people to know about how this all happened to you and what you wish you knew beforehand? Uh, so many things, right? Yeah. There's so many. The the biggest thing is like what everybody says.

What everybody, it's honest to God's truth. If it sounds too good to be true, if it sounds like a dream thing, it's not. It's if it's too good to be true, it is, it is not true at all. You know, it's, yeah. If it's too good to be true, it is too good to be true. There's just so many terrible people out there doing this, and you gotta really, really pay attention.

You know, don't let 'em make your brain feel happy. And, you know, I, I, I, I just, all I can say is, yeah, I wish, I just wish I was a little bit, not smarter, but not as gullible or not as lonely. I guess 'cause I think that the loneliness is the, the biggest thing. 'cause if you're getting a friend or somebody to, to be, to talk to whenever you want to, you know, I mean, you could talk to this person at 10 o'clock at night or you can talk to them at four o'clock in the morning.

That was just wonderful. That was great. And I would say, oh, I'm sorry if I woke you. Oh no, that's okay. You I'm here. Talk to me. And for somebody to do that, rather than say, yeah, I really need to get my sleep, you know, and you're really bugging me, but for somebody to accept you. What you do in that. I, I think that's good for them.

Sure. Okay. Well, I really appreciate your time. Bye. Yeah. I hope this helped you. Really, truly. I hope it did. It it does. And I, I'm gonna put it out and hope that it helps a lot of other people, but thanks again and Sure. If there's anything else I can, if there's any, yeah, if there's anything else you need from me, just, you know, email me and I'll get back to you and, and I have found somebody that I love and I think that it's gonna work out really great.

So I'm, I'm happy as hell, so thank you. I'm so good. I hope it helped. I hope things work out for you too, sooner than later. Yeah. God. God's there. He he'll, he'll help. He'll help. Thank you dear. I appreciate your time. Yeah, thanks. Thanks sister, rest of your day. You too. Okay. See you. Bye-bye. Bye bye. I am grateful that Viola was so open about who she is and what she went through.

I hope this created a greater understanding for you about who can be targeted and what to watch out for, and I can't stress this enough. They are out there right now scrubbing every internet site to see if they can find you. I mean you, they want you to fall into their clutches. I don't want anybody else to fall prey to these tactics.

Thanks for watching. See you next time on the Romance Scam Rebellion.