The Stolen Face: A Romance Scam Victim Speaks Out - Season 2 Finale

The man I thought I loved was real — just not the one talking to me.

In this episode, I unpack the emotional aftermath of discovering that the identity behind my romance scam belonged to an innocent man whose photos were stolen and used to defraud women worldwide. This is the story of the “other victim” — the ghost unknowingly woven into my story — and the complex grief of letting go of both illusion and reality.

Transcript

 Welcome back. This is the final episode for season two. I want you to know that my story was never just about me. There was another victim in my scam that I haven't told you about yet, the man whose face was stolen and used as bait. But before I talk about that, I want to tell you what's been going on behind the scenes since I started the podcast.

First of all. I want to thank everyone who has come along down this road with me. I am grateful for the support I've received, and I want you to know that this is what keeps me going. If you've been listening to my podcast, you'll know that sometimes I wonder if I'm doing any good here. If anyone is listening, if I'm helping. But when I stand back and look at the bigger picture, I can see that some people are paying attention. To date I've been able to tell snippets of my story in a couple of local TV interviews. I've been invited to be on a couple of panels, one in person and one virtual talking about my experience.

I've also provided my story, which was written and published in an AARP article that led to another opportunity. So now I've just completed an interview this week with the AARP National Podcast series called The Perfect Scam. I'll be putting links of these on my Facebook page, which is also called Romance Scam Rebellion.

I will soon be testifying at the Utah State legislature speaking about the need to reign in fees and create limits in using crypto ATM scam machines that plague our state and nation. I can only hope that these opportunities will lead to further opportunities for me to get the word out, because the more people I and others like me can reach out to warn others, hopefully that's one less person the scammers can sink their teeth into. When I first started this podcast, my objective was just to tell my story in a way that warns others what to watch out for. But as I've gone along, I've learned so much more, much more than just what I've been through. I've listened to other victims, seeing the patterns that have emerged before my eyes, seeing that there are more bad guys than just the scammers themselves.

There are systemic issues that need to be fixed. But people like me are not the only victims. There's another type of victim in this crime that I haven't mentioned, and I need to tell you about it because this story, as I began to realize wasn't just about me. The other victim in my story is a man I call Naf.

This isn't his full name. I need to respect his request for privacy. He was just living his best life, half a world away in Israel. He seems like such a kind and caring guy. Somebody who exudes confidence, compassion, and success. Maybe that's his downfall, that he is an attractive, successful man. Somebody scammers wish they were but will never be.

This is likely why they chose him and other men like him when they're looking for bait, they dangle men like this in front of women, hoping we'll see the same confidence, success, trustworthiness, all the things that make someone feel safe to love. I think of him more a victim than I am. I resisted even using that term for myself for quite a while because I believe that we're mostly responsible for our own lives and actions.

I have learned though that sometimes there are things outside our control that create situations where we're totally unaware of unintended consequences. I believe both he and I are in the same boat. If my thoughts hadn't been so brainjacked during the first scam, I could have realized that Pedro was definitely the imposter because NAF had years of posts linked in his profile, and that was not true of Pedro's profile.

I just didn't have the understanding or knowledge at the time to know the difference. I have to tell you that I did actually reach out to him after my second scam experience, after I was completely convinced that he was the real guy from the photos I was going through such emotional trauma at that point, after being deceived twice by two different scammers using the same face, that I did wanna let him know how his pictures were being used to scam women. I was so sad because I realized I did not know this man at all, even though I probably read every one of his posts and watched him talk in seminars he held, even though I couldn't understand most anything of what he said, so I just read his body language.

I sent my email, I unloaded on him unintentionally. I knew that my dream was shattered, but I was really suffering at that point. I don't remember everything I said, but I do remember saying something like, this is more of a goodbye than a hello. Surprisingly, he did write back. He told me that he was sorry for what I had gone through, and that he was not interested in any sort of relationship and hoped that I would find my way out of this mess.

Something along those lines, and that was it. That was the final nail in my relationship coffin. I wasn't actually looking for a relationship with him. I knew this was impossible, but I was grieving nonetheless.

Months later, when I had healed enough to organize my thoughts and start my podcast, I reached out to him again just to let him know that his image and name would be coming up during my podcast. He wrote back again to ask me not to reveal pictures of him and his family. So I modified. I did post a couple of pictures on my Facebook page, but blurred out his face and only revealed his first name.

I asked him if other women had reached out to him like I did. His answer stopped me cold. Several. There had been several women before me, that's when it hit me. I wasn't the first woman to fall in love with his stolen face, and I wouldn't be the last. Here's this innocent man in Israel just living his life ,now condemned to a lifetime of receiving these gut wrenching emails. Heartbroken strangers. Professing love for someone they've never met. Accusations, grief. Confusion. How heartbreaking, that through no fault of his own, he is destined to have the same scenario play out like the one I put him through, who knows how many times in his life. Like the movie Groundhog Day, but tragic instead of funny.

I am going to read you his statement because what he experienced and what I experienced are two opposite sides of the same crime. He had his identity stolen and used as bait. I had my heart and money stolen. The scammer profited from both. NAF wrote this to me last year. He gave me permission to share it on the podcast.

What you're about to hear is the perspective we almost never get from the person whose identity was weaponized. This is what it's like to watch your own face become a stranger's tool for harm. There was a time when I was truly a total social media enthusiast. I thrived on sharing every piece of my life online before Instagram was even mainstream.

Before people were casually posting stories. I was already that person who would upload half a dozen posts a day on Facebook. I'd tell everyone exactly where I was, exactly what I was doing, and it felt amazing. I made so many new friends, found business opportunities, and it genuinely felt like I was on top of the world.

I was enjoying every moment of that digital attention. But over the years, something shifted. What started as a fun, open-hearted sharing of my life turned into a nightmare. People began taking my photos without permission. They felt entitled to comment on every aspect of my existence, to intrude on my privacy in ways I never imagined, and then came the real blow people using my images to create fake profiles scamming women across the globe. I was watching my own face become a mask for someone else's deceit. I can't even describe how violated I felt. My identity had been stolen piece by piece, and I was left exposed to the world in a way I never wanted. I felt like public property no longer in control of my own life.

So I made a decision. I stopped everything. I went from being everywhere online with even a personal cameraman, capturing my daily moments to complete digital silence. I realized that the real treasure wasn't in the likes, the comments or the attention. It was in the quiet, hidden corners of my private life, my wife, my children, my grandchildren.

That's where my real world is, and that's all I need. Now if I could erase every trace of myself from the internet, I would. I've learned that I don't need the world's validation nor its prying eyes. I'd rather be a ghost living my life quietly with dignity without strangers meddling in my world. The true riches are at home, and I have no desire to ever be that exposed again.

So to anyone out there who wants to share their life on social media, here's my tip from experience. Be careful about what you share. Remember that you're exposing yourself. If you're going to share. Think carefully about your agenda and what you actually want to promote. If it's about your business, then great talk about the business, but be cautious about sharing too many personal details.

There are plenty of good people out there, but it only takes a few bad ones to wreak havoc on your life.

Be skeptical, be cautious, and don't walk around assuming that everyone is as good hearted as you are. One of the biggest mistakes is to think that everyone's intentions are pure. There are some bad actors out there and you need to be aware of them. Weigh the risks against the benefits. If the risk outweighs the benefit, then it might be better not to share it all.

Listen to what he's saying. I'd rather be a ghost. That's what this crime does. It doesn't just steal money or faces. It steals the ability to exist and communicate freely in the world. NAF retreated into silence to protect himself and his family, and I completely understand that. But now I have to make the opposite choice.

I'm stepping into the noise, into the exposure. I'm now navigating the social media cesspool, not because I want to, but because I feel compelled to warn everyone who's a potential victim. Interesting that he disappeared because of the scam, and I appeared because of the same scam. Two paths diverging from the same crime.

He chose privacy. I chose visibility. Neither choice is wrong, but both choices were forced on us by criminals who may never face justice and platforms that profit from the chaos. Thank you NAF for trusting me with your words for helping people understand that identity theft isn't victimless. For being brave enough to speak even while you're trying to disappear.

So what happens next? I continue investigating. Continue warning, continue speaking up because NAF can't, he's chosen silence to protect himself and his family, but I have to speak out and I'll continue to do so. My heart breaks every time I hear another person has been scammed. Education, awareness this is the key.

I have to do my part in getting the word out. As I've learned more, I realized the scammers weren't operating alone. There are enablers everywhere, big tech platforms that allow fake profiles to thrive. Crypto ATM companies like Bitcoin Depot that charge huge markups on every fraudulent transaction, profiting directly from crisis. Wire transfers,

cryptocurrency exchanges, an entire ecosystem designed to extract maximum profit from victims. There's so much more to learn, so much more work to do, but I do have to take a break now. Thank you to everyone who's listened to season two to the survivors who've reached out to the family members trying to understand, to the skeptics who stayed. anyway. This is the romance scam Rebellion. Season two is complete, but the work continues because the scammers aren't stopping, and neither am I. In season three. Watch for more investigations, survivor interviews, policy fights, and tech accountability. Thank you for listening.