Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you ever prayed to God asking him to send you the type of guy you're looking for, but for some reason he doesn't appear to be answering? Well, if so, I want you to pay close attention, because this episode is for you. Welcome to the Spiritual Dating Podcast, where spirituality, psychology and successful dating strategies come together to help you turn the love you desire into a reality. I'm your host, joe Amoya, your spiritual dating and relationship coach. If you're a spiritually grounded woman who has almost everything you want except a great guy to share your life with, you're in the right place. If you're done settling, tired of the dating merry-go-round and ready to attract a high-quality, emotionally available man who will love you the way God created you to be loved, this podcast is for you. I'm here to show you how to date smarter, love deeper and create the kind of relationship your heart desires and truly deserves. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Spiritual Dating Podcast. I am so honored and grateful to be spending this time together with you. Again Before we get into today's topic, if you haven't gone and listened to the first two episodes, especially the first one on what is spiritual dating, I highly recommend you go back and listen to that episode, because in that we talk about the three pillars of spiritual dating, and each week we're going to tackle one of the different pillars and we're going to apply it to how it really works and how you can use it to put yourself in position to turn the love you desire into your reality. And so today we're going to focus on what I call the foundation of spiritual dating. Is the spiritual pillar, is the faith pillar? No, no, some of you have asked like, what do you mean? Like, actually, someone posted in our Facebook group. You know what do you mean by spiritual? Is it Christian? Does it mean you have to go to church? Is it faith? What do you mean? So let's start with that.

Speaker 1: 2:13

I want to give you a little bit of background and where I'm coming from with this. So what I believe is that we are all spiritual beings having a human existence, beings having a human existence and, as a spiritual being having a human existence, we have a soul, a spirit, and we have our physical body, what I call is our meat suit, right. And so, ultimately, in most traditions and most faiths, we have this time in our life where we transition, where we die, and then the soul leaves the body and goes someplace else. Now we're not here to get into where it goes and all that. That may be in another episode, but the soul is our true divine essence. That's the part of us that is one with something bigger, and there is an organizing principle, an organizing creator.

Speaker 1: 3:07

If you can call it God, you can call it universe, divine source, divine intelligence, she like. Whatever you want to call it. I'm going to respect you and let you figure that out for yourself. I refer to that in numerous ways because the name that we put on it is just for us humans to make sense of it. So I call it God, I call it universe, higher power, divine source All those names are interchangeable.

Speaker 1: 3:34

It's kind of like my real name is Joseph. You can call me Joseph. You can call me Joe, you can call me Joey. You can call me Jay, you can call me Jose. You can call me by different names, but those different names don't change who I am and that's the way I see God as the divine creator. And so I believe we are connected to this divine source and there's a part of us that is one with it, and so some people refer to that as their intuition, their higher self. Again, names, but whatever name works for you, whatever floats your boat.

Speaker 1: 4:11

In these podcasts, we're going to talk about that relationship and the role it plays in our ability to have what our hearts desire, because what I believe to be true is that our soul's desire is the same as God's desire, right? So there's this divine being. Let's just call it God for the sake of argument in this conversation and, again, if that doesn't resonate, use whatever name works for you. So there's God, who creates us, right, plays a role in our creation. There's the divine intelligence where somehow this sperm and egg come together and, miraculously, nine months later, in 99.999% of the cases, this miraculously perfect human being comes out of the womb. Right, where everything is exactly where it's supposed to be and it functions the heart works, the brain works, the kidneys work. Like we don't have to think about that. Something caused that to happen.

Speaker 1: 5:12

Now, if you believe that just happens by accident, I respect what you believe, but I don't believe that's an accident. I believe there's a divine intelligence that causes things to happen exactly the way it happens, from the moment the second that that sperm fertilizes that egg. Right? They call it the miracle of life. Right, because it is a miracle. Something's got to be controlling it so that part creates us and helps bring us into the world. But then we come into this world and we still have that spirit, we still have that soul, but we also have a meat suit and we have a mind and we have a brain, and we have experiences that very often cause us to disconnect from that divine source or forget I really call it it's. We really forget who we are and the power that lies within us and our connection to God and divine.

Speaker 1: 6:07

Now, if you're someone like me, you grow up and you are taught what and who God is, and so I went to Catholic school for 13 years. I was born into an Italian family, and so most Italian families have a certain belief on what and who God is. Italian families have a certain belief on what and who God is, and so, in my faith, I was taught that God was some omnipotent being up in heaven who gave us these rules and when we would abide by these rules. We were good people, but if we didn't abide by these rules, then we were sinners. And then, if we were sinners, we basically had to atone for our sins. We had to go to confession, which never made sense to me. If I'm sinning and God hears me, why can't I just talk to God? Why do I have to go on a Saturday to this confessional booth to sit there to confess my sins to this middle guy? It's one of the many rules that just didn't make sense to me.

Speaker 1: 7:03

But long story short, we grow up with this belief of of God being out there somewhere, right, whether it's heaven, whether it's in an alternate universe, whatever it may be, and if you study most religions, that's kind of the belief that we're taught with God is something external to us and that we have to appease God in order to be good people and follow God's rules. So what I've come to know to be true is the divine source. God is three things all loving, all knowing and all powerful. And the part of us, our soul, that is connected to God is all-loving, all-knowing and all-powerful. But we very often forget that. So what most of us do is we go and do our best, trying to get through this thing called life, and when we remember if we remember, usually when we're stuck, when we're having periods of really, you know, tough times, adversity, challenges we're not getting what we want, we're not happy.

Speaker 1: 8:11

It's usually then that we reach out and say you know God, help me. And it's like God is like sitting up in heaven, going, okay, send me your prayers. And it's like okay, mary, you're asking for a great guy. You know what I'd like you, mary. You get one, okay. And then Sally says you know God, send me a great guy. And God said, sally, I'm sorry, yeah, you're a nice person, but it's not my will for you, so screw you, you're going to be single, and so I was, but I don't want to be single. God, right, now again, why does God answer Mary's prayers but not Sally's?

Speaker 1: 8:52

Now again, I'm not here to tell you what to believe, but what I know to be true is God doesn't arbitrarily pick and choose who gets love and who doesn't, because one of the things that I know is in this meat suit, we are given free will, right. So when we incarnate and come into this world as a spiritual being having a human existence, we have free will, and what we do with that free will, consciously or unconsciously, really determines what we experience in our life, or unconsciously really determines what we experience in our life, and we'll get more into that, and so I believe God is up there in heaven saying okay, mary, you're asking for this, a great guy. Are you doing what you need to do and being who I need you to be for me to send you that guy? Because if that guy you're asking for is going to commit the rest of his life to you, well, you've got to be willing to trust him, you've got to be willing to be vulnerable, you've got to have the same shared purpose for what you desire in life and a relationship for me to send you that guy. And you have to be secure. You have to know your value, you have to know your worth. And so I believe, when Mary fits those criteria, god goes here, you go. Now, when and how that happens, I believe, is up to God, and I believe we can play a role to speed that up, and we'll talk about that in future episodes. But it's absolutely true. And now with Sally, god's like. I know, sally, you're asking for a great guy, but you don't feel you're worthy of a great guy. You may say you're worthy, but deep down you don't feel worthy, you feel insecure, you don't feel you're good enough, you don't feel you look like you did when you were 30. You don't feel a man could love you the way you are right now. You may have trust, issues from your past that you haven't healed or let go of yet. And so God says Mary, I mean, sally, I would love to send you that guy and I'm ready to send you that guy, but I can't right now because, even if I did, it won't be the relationship that I desire for you and that you desire in your soul. So, sally, you got some work you need to do and I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1: 11:11

In my own life it's very similar For the longest time. I've always wanted a relationship. I never had an issue with relationships. I'm a relationship kind of guy. I grew up in a family where my mom and dad had a good relationship. It was clear. They loved each other, they cleared, they wanted to work together and shared the same purpose for life and how they wanted to raise their kids and their family values and all of that. And so I was brought up to see, hey, that's a cool thing, having someone in your life to share life with, to create life and experience life, it's really a blessing. So I was very blessed to be able to see that, even though my dad passed young. They set the model for what I believe a healthy relationship was. So I'm like I kind of wanted that.

Speaker 1: 11:56

But then when I had my very first relationship which I, you know, like most they call it puppy love and I fell in love and it was wonderful. It was amazing. It was everything that I always wanted and that my heart had searched for. And I was a little later. I was like a sophomore in high school when that happened. You know when, when I talk about you know other kids were falling in love and getting girlfriends and things much earlier in life. That just wasn't part of my journey. But I had it and we dated for three years and I thought we were going to get married. But looking back now, we were just kids and, yes, the love that we shared, all the things that we shared for the very first time, were amazing. But we weren't true life partners. God knew that. We both had some growing and evolving to do and becoming more of our own person than being just these two people who got married young and for both of our journeys. That's just the way it had to go.

Speaker 1: 12:52

So, long story short, I finally went to school. I became a chiropractor, I took care of all my education and that was kind of my priority for a long time. And I got out, set up my practice, like, okay, now I'm ready to be able to be the partner, to commit to someone, now I'm ready to settle down and have a family. And I prayed, you know, and asked God, you know, to send me the right one. And I met someone.

Speaker 1: 13:13

And, long story short, we dated and then we got engaged and I was just wasn't happy. It was the best way I can explain it. It was like two people trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole and no matter what we did, it wasn't working. But I thought, you know, she loves me, she wants to get married, I love her, I want to get married. These are problems. We were in therapy and the counselor was saying well, this is life, relationships are hard. And I'm like, marriage is hard. I'm like, well, I guess you're the expert, so I guess I have to believe you and continue to try and make this work. And, long story short, we called it off.

Speaker 1: 13:51

But before he called it off, I was going to church every day, on the way to my office, and I would light a candle and I would ask God, you know, to answer my prayers and say God, you know, please help us. You know she wants to get married. I want to get married. We love each other, but it's just there's something going on. And help us heal this, help us overcome this. And I would, and for weeks, if not months, I would go to church on my way to office and light this candle and pray, and God wasn't answering my prayers. In fact, things were getting worse. It got so bad that, literally four weeks before walking down the aisle, I knew I was never going to be happy. I knew I was going to have the relationship that my heart desired and I knew I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. And so I was sitting there I'll never forget this moment for the rest of my life, looking out the window.

Speaker 1: 14:43

It was a beautiful July day. It was a month we were supposed to get married in August. It was July and I was looking out the window like in a fog, going what the F am I doing? What are we doing? And I went in and I sat down and I looked her straight in the eye. And I went in and I sat down and I looked her straight in the eye and I asked her this one question, just one question. I said will we ever be happy? Now? I had asked her that question a bunch of times before this. Right, I wasn't about to invest the rest of my life with someone if I knew I wasn't going to be happy. But every time I asked that question prior to that day, she always said yes, and it was always followed with a but or an after. And so it's like yes, we'll be married after she graduated she was studying for her master's. Yes, after we move in together. Yes, after her grandfather was sick. So there was always yes after.

Speaker 1: 15:37

And so, because I was the hopeless romantic, I kept hanging my head on this possibility of one day it's going to change, even though my reality was saying no, run for the hills. I ignored it again, going back to free will, I used my free will to ignore it because I didn't want to face the truth. I was afraid I'll be completely honest and so, fortunately, this day she said no. So at that moment my mind was like well, what the F we get married for, I don't care, we're going to lose money, I don't care what people are coming in flying from all over the country, I don't care, I'm going to have egg on my face. I do not care, because I don't want to be in a marriage that I know I'm going to be unhappy and that's never going to get to where I want it to be. So the moral of the story is I was asking God, I was praying, asking for what I thought I wanted in my heart, but God wasn't answering. Because God knew if he answered, I was going to wind up either divorced with kids, which wasn't what I wanted, or I was going to wind up staying in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage. I would basically settle, and that wasn't what I desired in my heart as well. So God knew that. So God wasn't answering my prayers.

Speaker 1: 16:57

There's a great song. If you haven't heard it, go look it up. Go on Spotify or YouTube. It's called Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. It's a great song because it's like sometimes God doesn't answer your prayers because it is an answer to your prayers, because he knows what's best for you. Or again, god knows what's best for you. Or again, god knows what's best for you the divine power, the divine source, the divine intelligence.

Speaker 1: 17:23

So in this journey if your goal is to have a happy, healthy, long lasting relationship. I believe having a healthy relationship, a spiritual connection to the divine, no matter what you use is, is going to make the process much easier. Because I call God the giant GPS in the sky. God is there to guide you. God was guiding me in my relationship and God said I know where you want to go, but you want to go left when I need you to go right. But because I gave you free will, I'm going to let you turn left and you're going to go and you're going to make a mistake and you're going to see it's not taking you to where you want to go. And when you learn to trust me, to listen to me, to allow me to guide you, I will make your journey easier.

Speaker 1: 18:22

So that's what we're talking about in spiritual dating it's learning to develop your spiritual connection to the divine, learning how to tune into it, learning how to listen to it, learning how to allow it to guide you and lead you on your journey, because it will never, ever, ever lead you down the wrong place, down the wrong path. If you go down the wrong path, it'll be just like I did. It's because you want to do things your way, because you know better. Your mind, your ego, thinks it knows better than the big guy in the sky. And again, I respect no matter where you are on your journey, but I'm at the point in my journey where I'm learning that he really does know best. And so if I can get my ego out of the way and I can share my heart's desire, my soul's desire, with God, then he will guide me, he will lead me in a way that he knows is best.

Speaker 1: 19:25

That doesn't always happen on my timeline, trust me, but it always works out for the best and usually, if it's not going according to my timeline, there's something that I need to heal, there's something that I need to let go of, there's something that he needs me to look at and take ownership of, like you know what? Yeah, I need to let go of it. I need to change that. That's really not who I want to be.

Speaker 1: 19:50

And so, if you're on this journey, you're going to hear me talk a lot about mirror time. Mirror time is really stepping out of your life as an observer and taking a good, honest look at yourself and seeing yourself through God's eyes, not through your eyes, not through your parents' eyes, not through your friend's eyes, not through society's, where you're judging yourself, but seeing yourself openly and honestly, without judgment, because that's one of the ways you're going to learn and see what's right in front of you. That's what God wants you to see. Look, here's the deal. If you pray for anything, god's not going to pick up the phone and say here you go, here's the answers. This is what you do. Here are the next three steps.

Speaker 1: 20:35

That's just not how it works. It's like we are not puppets on a string that God wants to manipulate and have us sing and dance and do things his way to appease himself. He's here to help us achieve our heart's desire, our soul's desire, and he will do everything in his power to guide us, to lead us to close paths that we are not meant to go down. But again, we have free will and God says if you don't want to listen, you want to do it your way. Knock yourself out, still going to love you. Knock yourself out, still going to love you.

Speaker 1: 21:15

After you transition, you're still guaranteed an amazing place where you're going to transition to, but your life here on earth and what you experience is really up to you, and when you take responsibility for that and you take ownership of that and you learn how to tap into the divine power that is within you, that's when the journey just becomes easier. And so, if you're listening to this, I want to give you one thing today, and that's the gift of hope and knowing that, no matter where you've been in the past, you are not defined by your past. Your past is a journey that got you here, and the future can be anything you want it to be, and whatever you experience in your heart, whatever you desire in your heart, I believe you were meant to experience that. I believe God's putting that. It's like planning the coordinates of GPS. This is where you're meant to go, this is what you're meant to experience.

Speaker 1: 22:12

But again, we have a mind, we have an ego, we have free will. And if we ignore that GPS coordinate and we say, but that's not what I want, I want that. I don't want to go there. I want to go there. Well, I don't want to do that because this makes me happy, this makes me feel good, because it fulfills our human needs, our human ego. It's like a drug, it's like a temporary fix.

Speaker 1: 22:38

God says, okay, go, but don't be surprised when it doesn't work out and do not blame me when you come up short. It's not because of me. I'm here to love you, to guide you, to assist you, and if you're using your free will to go against my guidance, or you're not using my guidance, or you think that I'm this arbitrary wish you know person who grants your wishes, I'm this arbitrary genie that just picks and chooses whose prayers I answer and who I don't. You don't really understand me, and that's the purpose of this podcast is to really help you understand who the divine source is, who God really is, who the creator really is, so that you can learn to use him, to tap into it. Tap into him and allow God to guide you on your journey, because you are that spiritual being having a human existence, and you are. There is a part of you that is connected to the divine source, and when you tap into it and you use it, that's when miracles happen.

Speaker 1: 23:42

So I want to know where you're at.

Speaker 1: 23:45

Where are you on your journey?

Speaker 1: 23:47

Have you? Did you grow up thinking God was this arbitrary genie in the sky who you had to pray and hope that he would answer your prayers? And if he did, you were lucky, and if you didn't get your prayers answered, it was God's will. Are you new to the spiritual path, where this is completely new. Are you at the place where you have a rock solid relationship with the divine and you are in communication and you are able to hear his guidance in whatever way?

Speaker 1: 24:16

Again, I want to know where you're at, and so please let us know in the comments wherever you're listening to this, and if you have any questions at all about the spiritual aspect of spiritual dating or any other part of this podcast that resonates with you, please feel free to reach out. I'm here to love and support you on your journey, because the message that we have in our heart is that if you have a desire in your heart, you are meant to experience it, and you will experience it if you do your part. And when you do your part, god will do his part. Okay, but one thing I know is God can't do your pushups for you Sounds good. Have an amazing, blessed week. I'll see you next time. God bless.