Spiritual Dating
Welcome to The Spiritual Dating Podcast – Where Faith, Wisdom, and Love Align
This podcast is dedicated to strong, successful, spiritually grounded single women who deeply desire a loving, healthy, and committed relationship — but are no longer willing to settle. If you're ready to stop settling and start dating with intention, heart, and hope — this podcast is for you!
Spiritual Dating
Letting Go of the Past to Make Space for the Love You Deserve
What's really keeping you from the relationship you desire? Most spiritually-minded women believe they're ready for love, yet find themselves repeating painful patterns or unconsciously pushing away potential partners. The truth? It's usually not about finding better dating apps or mastering conversation skills—it's about clearing the energetic blocks created by past heartbreaks and disappointments.
This episode dives deep into the psychology behind why we struggle to let go of past relationship wounds and how these unresolved emotions create invisible barriers to the love we seek. You'll discover the crucial difference between emotions (the physical sensations in your body) and feelings (the names we give those sensations), and why 96-98% of your thoughts and behaviors around relationships are operating on autopilot, guided by unconscious patterns.
The most transformative insight? Those painful emotions you experience aren't problems to be fixed or avoided—they're divine messages revealing exactly what needs healing. When you learn to observe these patterns without judgment, practice true acceptance (which doesn't mean condoning hurtful behavior), and understand that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, you create energetic space for the relationship God intends for you.
Through powerful stories of transformation, including a woman who believed her weight made her unworthy of love until she released the block that allowed her to attracted her husband, you'll see that you don't need years of therapy to heal these wounds. Your past doesn't define your future relationship—unless you let it.
Ready to clear the path for true love? Join our spiritual dating community and discover how the love you desire is absolutely possible, because God didn't put that desire in your heart for no reason.
Feel free to contact me with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at drjoeamoia@gmail.com
You can also send a DM and follow me on instagram or reach out in our facebook group. You can also find more inspiring and empowering content on my YouTube channel.
I aways love hearing from you!
Does your heart desire to have a relationship with a man who is 100% committed to you, but you're having a hard time opening up to that love because there's something from your past that you're still holding on to. Well, if so, I want you to pay close attention, because this episode is for you. Welcome to the Spiritual Dating Podcast, where spirituality, psychology and successful dating strategies come together to help you turn the love you desire into a reality. I'm your host, joe Amoya, your spiritual dating and relationship coach. If you're a spiritually grounded woman who has almost everything you want except a great guy to share your life with, you're in the right place. If you're done settling, tired of the dating merry-go-round and ready to attract a high-quality, emotionally available man who will love you the way God created you to be loved, this podcast is for you. I'm here to show you how to date smarter, love deeper and create the kind of relationship your heart desires and truly deserves. Hello, beautiful souls, welcome back to another episode of the Spiritual Dating Podcast. I'm so excited to be spending this time with you again today. Dating podcast I'm so excited to be spending this time with you again today.
Speaker 1:If you're at that point in your life where you know there's just something that's standing in my way and I just can't let go of the past. Maybe it's that you were cheated on. Maybe it's that you were abused. Maybe it was that you know you have some damage from your childhood where you weren't loved, you weren't valued, you weren't appreciated, you weren't allowed to be you, and you know that these things are affecting you. Even if you've worked on therapy, you still have this block. Well, if any of these sounds like you, or you know that there's something there and you just can't let go of the past, maybe you had your heart broken recently and the emotional trauma or the emotional impact of that is just not something you want to bear again. Well, if any of these sound familiar, you are definitely in the right place.
Speaker 1:So in this podcast we talk about the three pillars of spiritual dating. We talk about the spiritual aspect. Right, that's knowing who you are, like, that you are a soul, a spiritual being having a human existence, and there was a part of you that is connected to that divine intelligence which we call God, right? So there's this universe that works a certain way. It's this giant system of energy that works according to a different vibration and frequency. So that's the spiritual pillar. Then there's the psychology pillar, and we're not talking about psychology going, sitting and talking to a therapist. We're talking about understanding human behavior and why we do the things we do, or the things that we don't do, that we should do, and why we very often get in our own way.
Speaker 1:So when I talk about psychology, we're talking about basically three things. We're talking about your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions. Now, one of the things we try and do in this podcast is shine the light and make things clear, because in this human journey, we hear things all the time, but we never really take the time to look at it and understand what it really is. We talk about feelings and emotions and a lot of times we don't understand that there's a difference between the two, and it's really important, if you're going to go forward, that you understand, because a lot of times people use these interchangeably or they tell you you need to work on one, when you really don't. You need to work on the other, and that's what we want to do is we want to shine the light of truth in every episode here. So I just want to give you a little background, since we are talking about psychology and understanding how we operate as human beings. So thoughts are clear. Those are those things that you have in your mind that cause you to think a certain way. Now the thing about our thoughts is 96% to 98%, according to Dr Bruce Lipton, who's a world-famous neurobiologist and he's done these studies. I don't know how they've done them, but they basically come out to say that 96% to 98% of everything we think, say or do is unconscious. So we're all running around on autopilot and we don't even realize it is unconscious. So we're all running around on autopilot and we don't even realize it.
Speaker 1:But there are these things called feelings and emotions and they're two different things. So an emotion? I like to break it down as like energy in motion. Emotion is what you feel in your body, right? So let's say somebody broke your heart heart. Or let's say you were supposed to go on a date with this guy and you were all excited, and then all of a sudden, he, he goes to you and all of a sudden you have this feeling in your body. That feeling is the emotion, it's the energy in motion in your body. You don't think about that, that just happens.
Speaker 1:The feeling is when you name it. So when you say I'm angry, I feel angry, I feel upset, I feel betrayed, I feel hurt, I feel resignation, I feel that I just want to give up. Whatever it may be, once you give it a name, it becomes a feeling and it's really important to understand, because you don't have to put a name on it to heal it and release it, and that's one of the lies that's out there is you don't, and we'll talk more about that in a future episode. But for now, I just want you to understand that in the spiritual pillar I'm sorry, in the psychology pillar we're talking about your thoughts, your feelings. Spiritual pillar, I'm sorry. In the psychology pillar, we're talking about your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions, because all of these have an energetic vibration. They all can actually be measured with a different frequency, a frequency of vibration, because that's how this universe works.
Speaker 1:So the key is being able to understand what's really going on within your body, so that you can go forward, heal or release, connect to your true self and then go forward and create whatever results you desire and you want in your life. Because what happens if you don't? And these blocks are there and that's why you've heard the term called blocks. They literally block you from getting what you want because energetically you are not in alignment with what you want. So you can sit and pray, you can go to church and I shared that in the previous episode right Of what you desire. But if you have this energetic block that you are putting out into the universe and it's not in alignment with what you desire, it's not going to show up in your life. And it's not because God doesn't love you, it's not because you're not worthy of it, it's not because you don't deserve it, it's not because somebody else is better than you, it's simply because you are not in alignment with what you want. That's why there are a lot of people out there will talk about you know, we'll just change your thoughts and change your belief. Yeah, that's part of the equation, but it's not the whole thing, because if you don't heal and release these things that are within your body and you try and do it with your mind, it's not going to work and then you get more depressed.
Speaker 1:There's a time in my life where working on your limiting beliefs was a big thing, right and saying affirmations, and I did exactly what I was instructed to do and it didn't work. And not only did it work, I felt worse afterwards because, like here, this is supposed to work, this is supposed to help me, and in fact it didn't help me. And now I feel worse because what I was dealing with is still there, and now I'm more focused on why it's not working, how it's still there and how it's not going to change. And my mind went down that rabbit hole Okay, there, and how it's not going to change. And my mind went down that rabbit hole Okay.
Speaker 1:So we want you to understand that it's really important to understand these different aspects of energy which we label together under the psychology pillar. Okay. So we're talking about in this episode, letting go of the past to make space for the love you desire, because I've been doing this work for, I think, almost 15 years now and I can tell you in all honesty, probably the biggest obstacle which stands in the way from you and other women like you from having the man and relationship you desire is your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions. That's why we say this is a really important pillar and that's why, with spirituality, understanding and connecting to God and who you really are will just make it easier to connect to what's going on within you, because these feelings, these emotions, these thoughts are so automatic. Right, Guy does something and you're automatically jerk, asshole, frustrated. See, this is why it's not going to happen. It's not worth it. I should just give up, right you? Just, it's like dominoes Once one thing happens, it triggers and you're down that road and you wind up just not feeling really good. Right, the vibes aren't really high. So that's.
Speaker 1:I believe that's actually a gift, see, I believe God is. You know, I call it like the check ego light. You know, when you're driving your car and the check engine light comes on right, most people look like, oh shit, you know, this is on. How much is it going to cost me? Now, I got to get this fixed, I don't have time, I got right. That's where a lot of people go. Well, I try and see it a different way. I try and see it through God's eyes. I try and see that, oh, this light is coming on to let me know that there's a problem. So it's actually a good thing, because it's making me aware of what's going on underneath the hood that I can't see. And that's the way I look at our thoughts, our feelings and emotions that don't feel good. They're gifts from God to help us see what's going on underneath the surface, that God wants us to see. But again, if we don't like it, we run from it, we suppress it, we numb it, we avoid it, we put on the victim hat.
Speaker 1:It's much difficult to do the work that we need to do so God can help us on our journey, because here's the truth. God can't do your pushups for you, right? God can't come and say, okay, here's your block because you don't feel worthy, here's your block because you're afraid of being hurt, here's your instruction manual. It's just not how it works. Otherwise there'd be no purpose for this human journey. We'd be a bunch of puppets, and that's really why we're not here. But God says I'm going to give you the clues, I'm going to give you things like the Spiritual Dating Podcast to help you on your journey, to make you aware of what's really going on, so you can make the changes. Is this making sense? I hope it's making sense.
Speaker 1:So we want to observe what you're thinking and what name you're giving to it, right, the emotions you're experiencing in your body and where you're experiencing in your body. Because what you'll notice is there's a pattern, the ones that have the most juice you tend to feel over and over in a certain spot. So, for instance, if there's something that will cause fear in my body, I'll feel it right in, like the upper portion of the left side of my chest, right, and so, like anytime something happens, oh, this is bringing something to the surface for me. Now, let me go look at it. Now, the first thing you need to do to start making space, and that's why I love the name of this podcast. It's making space, for the love you desire is to just observe what's going on, really, look at it without judgment. So I call it mirror time. So step out of your life as if you were an observer and notice what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what you're experiencing in your body, those emotions, because again, those are clues. Your body, those emotions, because again, those are clues.
Speaker 1:See, where we go wrong is when we think a certain way. We tend to suppress it, we tend to numb it, we tend to run from it or we tend to feed into it, which makes it worse. Or we find other people to say, hey, look, this guy just blew me off, he just ghosted me, what a jerk. And then you find someone who confirms what you believe. There's something called confirmation bias, right, you find someone who is biased, who has the same thoughts or belief, and they confirm what you believe. And then we're just like say, men, suck, they're all the same, it's not worth it. Go buy a puppy where it's not true. And again, we're not denying that there are guys out there who don't play nice, who aren't fair, who lie, who do all that stuff. But those guys have been around since the dawn of time and they'll always be around to the end of the earth. But there are great guys.
Speaker 1:But to be able to attract a great guy you've got to let go of what's going on within you, you've got to heal it, you've got to release it, you've got to be at peace with it so you can go forward. I'm going to share some stories with you going forward. So the key is to notice what's going on. Just notice without judgment, because your mind, which is unconscious, wants to judge it. Because, according to your beliefs of how the world should be, how men should be, how dating should be, yada, yada, yada, you're going to give it a meaning and that meaning very often creates what's called an energetic dissonance. It takes you out of energetic vibration with what you want. It doesn't help you see the truth. It helps you focus on what you believe is true, which is true to you. Right? It's like the glass half empty and half full. If you look at the glass, half empty, it's true for you, but it doesn't mean that it's totally true. It's a perception that you accept as being true and generally, when you see it in that way and you think that way and you feel that way and you act a certain way, that energy is very disempowering and, again, it's not in alignment with what you want. So the first step again is you want to acknowledge, you want to notice.
Speaker 1:Now, the key to letting go of the past is to get to a place of acceptance, and what I mean by acceptance is that you just accept what has happened. Now give me an example. You were with a man, let's say he betrayed you, he broke you, he did something really really not cool and you loved him, you gave him your heart and he basically turned around and stomped on it. Now you feel that right, you feel those emotions in your body. You have thoughts about what he did. Now, generally, if you look at it and are real honest, you didn't like what he did, right? So you're not accepting what he did. You believe he should have done things differently. Now, I'm not saying that if he did things differently you wouldn't have a different experience. What I'm saying is that by you believing and thinking and feeling that he should have done things different than he did, that's where you get stuck, that's where you get hung up. So I'll give you an example of how it worked for me.
Speaker 1:I shared my story. I was engaged and basically for a year and a half, my ex just wanted to get engaged. She's like I want to get engaged, I want to get engaged. Every time we were in the mall she wanted let's look at rings. So I'm like, okay. So finally I said, all right, we're going to wind up there anyway, I'll just give her the ring. And she was perfectly happy for about 30 days.
Speaker 1:But within 30 days all her stuff came to the surface, because she believed that, oh, if I just get engaged and a man commits the rest of his life to me, I must be special, I must be worthy and I'm going to be happy. And again, she was for about 30 days. But after 30 days she realized that whatever was there, that she wasn't looking at, that she wasn't healing, that she wasn't processing, that she wasn't dealing with, not only didn't go away, it came rushing to the surface because she got what she thought was going to make her happy and it didn't. And that's the beautiful part about life. God says, okay, you think that's going to make you happy, go ahead and see. And then, when we get what we want, we still don't feel the way we want because it's not aligned with who we really are. It's coming from an egoic place, not from a soul place.
Speaker 1:And so in this journey, what I had to do is accept what she did. It would have been real easy to me. You what you basically begged me to get engaged. I finally give you the ring and then we start planning this honeymoon and this wedding and I invest thousands of dollars and then, four weeks before, you finally admit to me that it's never going to be better, because prior to that day, she always told me it'll be better. I promise Once we get through this so I believed it because I wanted to believe it and be better I promise that once we get through this so I believed it because I wanted to believe it and I take full ownership of that. So after this I could have easily said you lied, you did all that. I could have hung out in those disempowering emotions and made her responsible for my happiness. But I realized I had a choice I could be angry, I could be bitter. I had a choice I could be angry, I could be bitter, and I can take that and go forward, or I can let it go, I can release it, I can heal and I can open myself to love again.
Speaker 1:Now I had an aunt who was cheated on there's no other way to say it and because of the hurt and the pain that she felt, she never dealt with it. She suppressed it, she ran from it and she created behaviors the way she would think, the way she would feel and the way she would act which allowed her to not heal what was going on within her. And she went to her deathbed being a bitter, angry woman. And I saw that she was still alive when I was engaged and I'm like but I saw the path that she was on and how it basically destroyed her life and I'm like you know what? I don't want to be like that, and so I had to look at my experience with my ex and I had to accept it and it's like, okay, yeah, what you did wasn't cool, you don't get a pass for that. I'm not condoning it, I'm not saying it's cool. But now I have a choice. I can face what I'm dealing with. I can face the role that I played in this. I can face my feelings. I can face the thoughts that want to make me quit dating and just become a monk, or I can heal, go forward and see the truth.
Speaker 1:And part of this very often is coming to a place of forgiveness. And I know for some people it's like you want to forgive my ex for what they did. No, forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you. Forgiveness doesn't take away the shit that they did to you and how it affected you and how it impacted you in your life. That doesn't take that away. What forgiveness does? It's the step towards letting you heal, release that person so that you can go forward and not bring it with you.
Speaker 1:There's an expression in the world where people call it baggage. I really don't like that expression because it puts such a negative connotation on it. I just call it stuff. We all have stuff that, because we didn't get an instruction manual, people betray us, people hurt us, people lie, and often it's the people that we love the most or we give our hearts to, but that's who God uses for us to heal, and so forgiveness is a tool to see the other person through God's eyes and the role that they played in your life.
Speaker 1:I look back now with my ex and I knew it not that long after that. That relationship was a gift for me because it helped me see so much more clearly. It helped me see my past behaviors and how I would jump into relationships too soon, very often with the wrong woman, and it helped me learn where I needed to make the changes. So it was a complete gift. Again, that doesn't give her a pass for what happened, but that's the way you want to see it If you can, and if you can't, that's great too. Then we have to look at that.
Speaker 1:Okay, there's this part of me that doesn't want to let go of this. There's this part of me that's anger, that's angry. That part of me that resents this person, that part of me that says you know what I just I don't want to do this again. That's cool, that's great. It's just shining light on the truth. Because in the old movie I forget what it was. I'm not the movie, I'm thinking about the Jack Nicholson movie All Good Men, I think where it's like you can't handle the truth. No, we want to handle the truth. The truth shall set us free. But the only way we can find the truth is if we shine the light on it and we see it and we don't make it mean anything more than it is. And this is really, really, really important, because if you want to go forward, you've got to accept what happened and then you have to look at it and then you have to deal with it, that for some of you that there's this belief that you're holding onto because of what happens in the past.
Speaker 1:So I want to share a story with you, and it's the woman I worked with a while back and she didn't look the way she did when she was younger. She had put on some weight. Her last relationship was with a guy where she basically allowed him to treat her like dirt and she like lent him money that he never paid her back. It was like you know, when we first spoke. She's like I'm embarrassed to admit this to you and I'm like no great, because what happened is our clues, our gifts.
Speaker 1:So ultimately, what it came down to for her is she didn't feel worthy because of her past. She didn't think she was good enough, she thought she had to look a certain way and be a supermodel, and guys only wanted to be with them. So she had all this stuff there that just wasn't serving her and we had to get to the truth. And the truth was that she was a divine creation, she was lovable. It's all that stuff that she was holding onto, it's all that unconscious, emotional crap that was underneath the surface, and so we just took her through a process to shine the light on it and she got to the point where you know what I am lovable my dress size doesn't define me, the number on the scale doesn't define me. And just those shifts.
Speaker 1:Those shifts and her awareness and her energy and letting go of the past and realizing it was just an important part of her journey, allowed herself to open up to the possibility of love, was looking for a relationship who was emotionally available, who was emotionally healthy, versus the other guys who were looking for a certain thing, who would lie, who would manipulate, who would tell a woman what she wanted to hear? So she became really good at that and then she put herself out there and she met a great guy, and now they're married. They have an amazing relationship. They travel, they just love each other. They have what I call a holy relationship, and we'll talk about that in next week's episode. So this is what's possible when you start to shine the light and see the role that your psychology is playing in your inability to not attract the man and relationship that God wants for you, to not attract the man in relationship that God wants for you.
Speaker 1:Now, please understand, before we wrap it up, is what I want you to wrap your head around is that you're not broken, no matter what has happened in your past. You don't need to be fixed. I'm not saying that you don't have stuff that you need to work on, you need to look at, you need to heal, you need to reason. I'm not saying that. But you are a spiritual being having a human journey. You didn't get an instruction manual. You have been doing the best you could with what you had. You just didn't know better, and so that's what this podcast is for it's to help you see the truth so you can make the changes and identify oh, this is something I need to heal, this is something I need to release, something I need to work on, something I need to learn or it's like you know what I'm stuck. I need some help, and we're going to talk about that.
Speaker 1:Going forward is because you're never alone on this journey. God has amazing resources and unlimited power to give you what you need. You just have to pay attention. Things like this podcast. It's not a coincidence. You're listening to this, my dear, so I got a little homework for you.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want you to step out of your love life right now, where you are, and observe. Where do your to go? When you think about going forward, you think about putting yourself down. You think about love. You think about dating, whatever it is. Where do your thoughts tend to go? Is it like? This is a great time? I'm so excited. I'm an amazing catch. I know there's a great guy out there. I'm just going to keep dating. I know how to screen guys and it's just a matter of time before I have the faith that I'm just going to keep dating. I know how to screen guys and it's just a matter of time before I have the faith that I'm going to find them and I know what to do. And I'm just being me, or is it like I'm done? I'm tired.
Speaker 1:This whole dating thing sucks. Tired of getting disappointed. Tired of having my heart broken. Online dating sucks. Getting disappointed, tired of having my heart broken online dating sucks. Men this age only want to get laid, whatever it may be. Maybe even take out a piece of paper and write it all down and just get real and just look at it, because that is a gift from God going. Look you're doing great. Look at how you feel, look at your thoughts, look at your feelings, look at your emotions, look at what you're feeling in your body or you might want to look at that, my dear. And again, you're not broken. You don't need to be sick and you don't need years of therapy. You just need the right processes to identify what's going on and to get past it and through it.
Speaker 1:And again, I like to use the common sense approach to life. Do you really think God wants us to struggle with things for decades? You think that's the way he designed it? Like I'm really going to screw with you people. I'm going to give you this crap and I'm going to make you struggle for years? Or is it that God gives us this journey and gives us free will, but he doesn't give us an instruction manual? So we do our best and we create certain behaviors, certain thought processes, certain actions, certain feelings in our body that just become familiar and we think that that is true.
Speaker 1:I call it the illusion. We live as if the illusion is true. And again, illusion looks true, it feels true, right, but it's an illusion. It's not really true. That's the way I believe it and that's the way I see it. God says you can buy into the illusion and there's a purpose for the illusion. We'll talk about that in a future episode. There is a purpose for the illusion, but the illusion is not true. The illusion is what we have to experience here to ultimately find the truth, and it helps us do the work to uncover what's really going on beneath the surface. That makes sense, awesome.
Speaker 1:I hope this resonates. If you have any questions whatsoever, feel free to reach out. Either put it, you know, wherever you're watching this, whatever platform, you can put it in the comment section. Or you know if it's something like, hey, I don't want to put this out there, but I'd love to like bounce it off. You just send me an email. I'll put my email in the show notes as well. All right? So I love you, appreciate you. I hope you got a lot of value from this and I'll see you next week.
Speaker 1:God bless, thanks for spending this time with me on the Spiritual Dating Podcast. I truly hope today's episode helped you to feel more hopeful, more empowered and more connected to the love that you're meant to have. If this episode resonated with you, please make sure to follow the show so you never miss an episode. And if you really feel inspired, I'd be so grateful if you left a review or shared it with another amazing woman who you know deserved to have a great guy by her side to share life with. And if you're ready to go deeper and get real guidance on your spiritual dating journey, come join me in our private Facebook community. Just grab the link in the description of today's episode. Until next time, remember, you're not too old, it's not too late and the love you desire is absolutely possible, because God didn't put that desire in your heart for no reason. This is Joe Amoya, your spiritual dating coach, reminding you that true love is your birthright, so let's make it your reality.