Spiritual Dating
Welcome to The Spiritual Dating Podcast – Where Faith, Wisdom, and Love Align
This podcast is dedicated to strong, successful, spiritually grounded single women who deeply desire a loving, healthy, and committed relationship — but are no longer willing to settle. If you're ready to stop settling and start dating with intention, heart, and hope — this podcast is for you!
Spiritual Dating
Why Finding Love Feels Harder Than It Should…and How to Change That!
Ever feel like finding love shouldn't be this hard? That beneath all the frustration, ghosting, and disappointment, there must be an easier way? You're not alone—and there's profound hope for your love life, regardless of how discouraging the modern dating scene appears.
The truth is startling but liberating: about 85% of single people simply aren't positioned to be emotionally healthy relationship partners. Understanding this reality transforms dating from a personal rejection factory into a more objective search process. When someone demonstrates they're not right for you, they're actually giving you a gift—saving you time and heartache before deeper investment.
This episode reveals three powerful principles that can revolutionize your dating mindset: First, remembering you only need ONE right person (not hundreds of options). Second, trusting that God wants you to experience love and wouldn't place this desire in your heart without purpose. And third, embracing "NEXT" as your magic word when facing disappointment—allowing you to move forward with optimism rather than carrying emotional baggage.
The journey to finding love isn't about lowering your standards or pretending everything is wonderful with rose-colored glasses. It's about managing your emotions, clarifying what truly matters to you in a partner, and trusting the divine timing while doing your part. God has your perfect match ready, but sometimes there's inner work that needs addressing first.
Ready to transform your love life? Take the first step by joining our Spiritual Dating community where you'll find support, guidance, and proven strategies to attract the high-quality, emotionally available partner you deserve. Because as Joe reminds us: "You're not too old, it's not too late, and the love you desire is absolutely possible."
Where are you in your spiritual journey? Share your thoughts and questions in the comments – I'm here to support you in turning the love you desire into reality!
Feel free to contact me with any questions/comments you may have about this episode via email at drjoeamoia@gmail.com
If you feel stuck and would like to understand what's really blocking you from finding the love God created you to have, I invite you to sign up for a complimentary Spiritual Dating Strategy Session where you and I will jump on the phone (or Zoom) for a quick chat and we'll identify your blocks and discuss the first step you can take to overcome them.
Go here to schedule ==> https://go.oncehub.com/Meet-with-Joe
Are you at that point in your love life where you still desire that amazing guy to share your life with, but you're tired of the frustration, the rejection and the constant disappointment of the modern dating scene? Well, if so, I want you to pay close attention, because in this episode, I've got something that's going to help you to feel better and more optimistic about the future of your love life. About the future of your love life. Welcome to the Spiritual Dating Podcast, where spirituality, psychology and successful dating strategies come together to help you turn the love you desire into a reality. I'm your host, joe Amoya, your spiritual dating and relationship coach. If you're a spiritually grounded woman who has almost everything you want except a great guy to share your life with, you're in the right place. If you're done settling, tired of the dating merry-go-round and ready to attract a high-quality, emotionally available man who will love you the way God created you to be loved, this podcast is for you. I'm here to show you how to date smarter, love deeper and create the kind of relationship your heart desires and truly deserves. Hello everyone, it's Joe.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of the Spiritual Dating Podcast. Can we get real? Can we have a real, honest conversation about this whole dating thing Because, listen, I get it. I get how frustrating, demoralizing, depressing it really really can be. I get it. There was a time in my life where I was kind of in the same boat and I know it's hard to believe. I know you think that guys have it easy and guys have pick of the litter and they have all the power and control, and it's just not true. The reason you believe that is because you're a woman. But I promise you this if you find any quality guy who's out there at this stage in the game, who's looking for that one special person, the right person to share his life with, and you talk to him, you're going to see how difficult it is and you're going to see how the journeys are very, very, very similar. And I don't mean to digress, but this whole podcast is designed to shine the light of truth, to make your journey easier so you can turn the love life that you desire and that God created you to have into your reality. Because the truth is we make it so much more difficult than it needs to be and that's what we're going to talk about today is because the journey that most of you listening are on is not a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:I get it right, you put yourself out there. You probably been online a couple of times, you know. Do that online dating cycle where I go on, don't get any results, I give up and nothing else going on. So let me go back and give it a try. And that doesn't work and you give up. Right, you do that cycle until you get to the point where like, okay, I'm done with this cycle. Until you get to the point where like okay, I'm done with this. Sound familiar.
Speaker 1:So what I want to share with you today is things that can help you to feel better about the process, because one of the things I've learned in my journey is that your focus and your attitude plays a tremendous role in what you experience in your life. You can pick any area of your life what you think, what you feel and what you do and how you do. It plays a huge role in what you experience in your life, and that's one of the takeaways that I hope for you today is that you understand that, as much as it appears to be frustrating, demoralizing and depressing and we're not taking that away we're not saying that it's not like we're not going to stick our heads in the sand and you know, and put rose colored sunglasses on and pretend everything is wonderful. We're not going to do that at all. We're just going to get real and go. Okay, why does it appear to be so difficult? But, more importantly, what can I do to make it easier, to make it more enjoyable, to align with the divine power that's within me so I can go forward and navigate this crazy dating world to ultimately turn the love that I desire into reality? That's the goal, right. So let's just be real. Okay. From my experience Okay and again, I've been doing this about 15 years now that 85% of single men and women are not in position to be emotionally healthy relationship partners.
Speaker 1:That doesn't mean that they're the bad people. It doesn't mean that they're broken, doesn't mean that something's wrong with them. It's that. Think of it like a business. If you wanted to start a business, right, you're going to invest all this time, all this energy and all this money. You want to make sure that you have the right partner that you're building this business with. Well, that's the way I see a relationship right as a partnership, and it's like if we're going to have this relationship, this partnership in this thing called life. I want to make sure that I'm in bed, that I'm in business with the right person, because if not, not only is it going to affect the business, the bottom line, it's going to affect me in my life, and that's I'm not willing to settle. So that's the way I kind of see it.
Speaker 1:So we just want to shine the light of truth, and I'm not going to the metaphysics and the unconscious energy and vibration. I'm not going to get into that, just have to take my word for this. And when I say take my word for it, don't just believe me. Look at the world that we live in, the things that I'm sharing, just observe what's going on around you, and you're either going to go yeah, I agree. Or you go no, I don't agree. And that's okay. A person can look at the glass as half empty, the other can see it half full. Neither is wrong, neither is right. They're just different perspectives. I'm trying to give you my perspective as someone who does this kind of work Because, again, I'm all about getting to the truth.
Speaker 1:So you have to realize, realize 85% of the guys out there are not emotionally healthy, emotionally ready to be in a committed relationship. That's just the reality of it. Now we can sit and go. That sucks, that's demoralizing, that's depressing. We could or we can go, okay, that's great. How can I use this information to my advantage? Because if you realize this is how it is and also you get better at identifying and screening and asking questions and not jumping into relationship, those are all the strategy things we talk about in the third spiritual pillar. Right, if you get good at those things, then it simply becomes like clothes shopping.
Speaker 1:But what I found is where it tends to go wrong is that when you allow your emotions to take over right, we talk about the second pillar of spiritual dating. Right, that's the psychology, that's managing your emotions, your mind, your mindset, your thoughts. Right, this is, I mean they're all equally important, right? That's why you know we talk about the triangle. Right, each side of the triangle is really, really important. One side isn't more important than the other. Because you take one side away, you weaken one side. The whole triangle becomes compromised.
Speaker 1:Well, if you're gonna be dating and you're constantly frustrated, upset, depressed, you have a hard time handling rejection. All those things are going to wear on you and wear on you, and wear on you and wear on you and if you're like most people, you get to the point where it's like it's just not worth it. I just should just give up. Now I know there are some people and they're like. Their truth is you know what? I'm just happier being on my own. I don't have to worry about a man. I don't. I can do what I want when I want, I don't have to answer to anybody, and they truly believe and feel that they are much happier not having someone in their life to share their life with. And I respect that and I believe you're much better off being happy and not being in a relationship than being in a relationship and being unhappy. So I'm not about just about getting a guy or having a relationship If that relationship isn't going to be the relationship your heart desires and that God desires for you, because God wants you to be happy, right. So we have to understand that it's really important to manage our thoughts, our feelings and emotions and it's not just saying that it's actually doing it, because if you're not and this isn't about hugging a tree and sing Kumbaya right, this is really about doing things that are going to help you to feel better. I'm gonna share some of those with you because when I was dating it was depressing. I mean talk about trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Speaker 1:I was clear on After what I went through with my ex. I was clear If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone. I was clear on what I needed for my partner, like who my ideal partner was, and I was no longer willing to settle and I said I'd rather be single the rest of my life and not be in a relationship than be in another relationship where I was unhappy and not in the relationship that I truly desired. And I promised myself I would never ask another woman to marry me if I didn't know with 100% of my being that I was marrying the right person for the right reasons. And so, ultimately, that clarity played a tremendous role. But it was a shit show. It really was.
Speaker 1:I mean any of you who talk about the stories that you went through and what you experienced. I'd be more than happy anytime to go story for story with you. You know I counted the number of women that I actually dated in my life. Now dated could be that we went on one date, or dating was that we went on a date and we were in a relationship for three years, like it was all over, from dating weeks, dating, several dates, dating one date. You know all across the board and in my journey there was I think it was in the upper seventies when I counted so there was a.
Speaker 1:I went on a lot and I experienced a lot. I was lied to, I was ghosted, I had women who portrayed themselves to be a certain way. I had women who would lead me on, and then you know, and then come up with some bullshit excuse. You know again, all the things that you went through I went through as well and we all go through them. It's just part of the game.
Speaker 1:But ultimately I got to a point where I'm like you know what, I'm not going to let this affect me, because I have a choice. I can get frustrated, I can be pissed off, I can be upset and I can be demoralized and go forward in that and that's not a lot of fun. Or I'm just like you know what. I can be positive, I can be optimistic. What is it that I have to tell myself to help me to feel better? And so one of the things that I used to tell myself is that you only need one right, because at the end of the day, once you find that one person, the right person, all those people that you dated, all those people in that you had relationships with, they no longer matter, unless you want to carry them forward with you and bring that stuff. But I don't recommend that.
Speaker 1:You know, if you're not at the point where you you have closure on your past and you're ready to go forward and leave the past where it needs to be, my recommendation is do that work, clean that up before putting yourself out there, because if you haven't healed it, you haven't released it, you haven't resolved it. It's going to pop up and you're now going to project that into your next relationship. And I can tell you at this stage, guys look for that. If they say, oh, you know what, you got some stuff, you know what, they're not going to want to hang around at this point. They want someone who's healed, who's right, just like you should want the same in a man right. So this goes both ways. But it's really important that you understand this and that you tell yourself you only need one, and that was my mantra I only need one.
Speaker 1:Now, at that point in my life, people would say I was picky, and I would say I'm not picky, I'm just very clear on what my standards are and I'm no longer willing to settle. Because when I've settled and I've compromised on what was really important to me, that's where I got myself in trouble and I knew what I was looking for in a partner wasn't unrealistic or unreasonable. Everything that I needed from a partner was very reasonable and very realistic, but they were really, really important qualities and characteristics. So that's when I'm like okay, I just need one of those individuals. And by being clear, it helped me identify those individuals who weren't a good fit, and it no longer made me think that, oh, there's no one else out there and it's not going to happen. And I'm just like nope, it's going to happen. Right, you got to think positive, you got to feel it, you got to have faith. Pillar number one, it's just a matter of continuing to go forward, right. And so what?
Speaker 1:One of the things I did is I looked at those individuals who found the love of their life, their partners and the relationship they had, and how they were happy and they have, how they were just great couples. And I'm like well, they found their person. Why can't I Like? Why would God deny me? And that led me to the second principle, and that is God wants me to have to be happy. God knows what I do. God wouldn't have put this desire in my heart if he didn't want me to experience this. So this is what God wants for me. I just have to keep going and I have to keep dating and being clear and not wasting my time.
Speaker 1:The second I realized this isn't the right person. I need to end this. Or, if the second I realized that I wasn't the right person for them, I needed to be honest, right, because sometimes people are dishonest, you know, I think, because we want a relationship so bad, very often we're afraid to see the truth that you know what? This is a good person, but it's not the right person. And we don't want to do that. We want to go. No, you are a good person, but you're not the right person. And it might be. You know, you are a good person, but I'm not the right person for you. I'm not the person you're looking for. So I'm not going to pretend that I am. I'm going to tell you that I love to do this when I don't love doing that, and I see this so many times, especially, I see, with a lot of women.
Speaker 1:Again, this is a generalization, but just things I've observed where it's like a guy says, oh, I'm totally into sports, and they're like, oh, I love sports, and they're really not. They're just telling that they may watch a game here or there, and then all of a sudden they find out that the guy's really into sports and it's a really important thing to him. And then they get mad at him and they're like well, he said all he wants to do is, you know, go to sports and watch sports. And it's like, well, he kind of told you that up front and he's looking for somebody who's just into sports as he is. You know I'm a big sports person. I love sports. You know, baseball is one of my biggest passions and that's something that my wife is very into as well.
Speaker 1:And when we first started dating, we would go to games, we would travel and we would go see my team is the Mets, the New York Mets and we would go to games and we would go to different cities I'm also into music games and we would go to different cities I'm also into music. We would go I was a big Jimmy Buffett fan and we would go to LA and we would go to Vegas to see Jimmy. But my wife didn't pretend like it was authentic, it was genuine and she was open to experiencing different things, you know, especially when it came to you know music. When we first met, you know our first trip together was to see Jimmy Buffett for the millenn the millennium. She had no idea who jimmy buffett was. My wife was a jersey club girl, right, and so she knew all club music and you know and all that kind of stuff. But you know, she wasn't a big jimmy buffett fan. But you know, I made a tape for her and, you know, showed her some videos and she's like it seems like it'd be a fun time and we went and we had a blast.
Speaker 1:So that's part of the whole dating process and that's where you have to just realize that God wants you to have the right lid for your pot. God wants you to be happy, but ultimately you have free will and so what you do with that free will is really going to determine whether you create and experience that relationship. And that's really, you know, I'm going to say it. It's more on you than God. God is going to do everything he can to support you, to guide you, to help you create that relationship, but he can't do your pushups for you. You've got to do your part. You've got to make sure you're doing things correctly. And that usually comes down to pillar number three, which is the strategy right Is, make sure that you're investing in the right man for the right reason and that you are the emotional partner that you need to be to have that relationship. Okay, and so that's the second principle.
Speaker 1:The third, then, is the magic four letter word. And if you ever run into one of my clients and you ask them, what's the magic four-letter word? No, it's not a curse word, okay, it's next. See, any time when I was dating and it didn't work out, even if I would get frustrated, right there was a time where I met this girl and I thought she was great, right, and she was saying and doing all the right things, kind of leading me on right, and then all of a sudden, we were supposed to have a date and she completely ghosted me, right, and I you know I was frustrated. In that moment I'm like really, what? What the you know, you know what. And then, when I was like you know what, next, she's not the right one. Next, and I kept saying next and next, and next and next and next, until ultimately I found the right one. And when I found the right one, I no longer had to say next and so what I've learned?
Speaker 1:And somebody said this alone and I don't remember who it was, but it's like everyone has an arbitrary number of people that they have to date or have relationships with before they find the one. Or God sends them the one with before they find the one, or God sends them the one. Now, for me it was in the upper 70s, I know. For a friend of mine it was like a handful of people, other individuals, I know it's dozens. Everybody's like. Your journey is unique. There is nobody who has the same exact journey as you, but your job is to do your part so that you date as minimal number of people as possible.
Speaker 1:Now I know some of you are saying but I don't, I just don't like dating. I'm like I understand I don't like exercising, but I do it because the effects of not doing it don't really work. And so you can say you don't like dating and that's a podcast for another day is because the reason you don't like dating is you're simply not good at it. You don't understand and usually you're very emotionally involved. You're not managing your emotions. So that's why I wanted to share this with you today is that, if you can use these three phrases, right, like, you only need one right. God wants you to be happy.
Speaker 1:And when you meet a guy and he pulls the crap that he does he ghosts you, he lies, he misrepresents himself, he cheats, whatever it is don't take it personal. Just say next, it's a gift. Right, he's showing you he's not the right one, so let him go and move on. Now, if you have a hard time with that, right, you have a hard time letting go. You take it personally, you get frustrated, it eats at you and whatever it may be. But then there's other stuff that you need to look at. You need to heal, you need to release, you need to let go of whatever it may be for you, and that's okay. That's why we're here is we're here to help you release those things.
Speaker 1:So I know some of you are just like this all makes sense, but you're just not meeting quality guys or you're not meeting any guys and you don't understand why. Right, you're at a good place where you're like, hey, this makes sense, I've got a great attitude, I know there's a right guy, but what I'm doing just isn't working. I understand that. So what I have for you today is a little gift. It's an opportunity for you and I just to jump on a call and have a quick conversation, to just see where you're at and to look at these three pillars and see where you may be off, where you may be lacking or where you may be blocked.
Speaker 1:Because one of the things that I've learned in this journey is that sometimes we're so close to our own stuff that we can't see what's really happening. Or the second thing I've seen is sometimes we understand exactly what's going on. Like, sometimes we understand that you know what? Yeah, I've been hurt, I've been burned and I've got kind of a wall up and I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Or, you know, I've made some mistakes and I don't trust myself. Whatever it is, those are the things that God wants you to look at. Those are the things that God says look, I've got this great guy ready for you, but I can't send them yet because there's stuff that you need to kind of deal with. And so you know that's what I'm offering you is this gift to just have a conversation to identify what's really going on, because I promise you it doesn't have to be as difficult as it appears to be, and God doesn't want it to be difficult, but like most things that we do as human beings, we tend to make it more complicated than it needs to be.
Speaker 1:So I hope you got a lot from this podcast. I hope it resonated. I hope it helped. Can you do me a favor?
Speaker 1:If you know someone that you feel can benefit from this, someone who's single and you know they're a great catch, you know they have a lot to offer but they're struggling and they're kind of frustrated and they kind of feel like giving up. Maybe they're wondering if it's really in the card for them. Do me a favor and just send this to them. It might be exactly what God wants them to hear to give them a little bit of faith to keep going, to give them a little bit of faith to keep going, because when you have that faith and you truly believe and you keep going and doing your part, it's gonna happen. It's just a matter of when I wish I can tell you when that is, but that's between you and the big guy, all right. I hope this helps. As always, honor privilege to spend this time with you. I'll see you next week, much love. Thanks for spending this time with you. I'll see you next week, much love. Thanks for spending this time with me on the Spiritual Dating Podcast.
Speaker 1:I truly hope today's episode helped you to feel more hopeful, more empowered and more connected to the love that you're meant to have. If this episode resonated with you, please make sure to follow the show so you never miss an episode. And if you really feel inspired, I'd be so grateful if you left a review or shared it with another amazing woman who you know deserves to have a great guy by her side to share life with. And if you're ready to go deeper and get real guidance on your spiritual dating journey, come join me in our private Facebook community. Just grab the link in the description of today's episode. Until next time, remember, you're not too old, it's not too late and the love you desire is absolutely possible, because God didn't put that desire in your heart for no reason. This is Joe Amoya, your spiritual dating coach, reminding you that true love is your birthright, so let's make it your reality.