
Spiritual Dating
Welcome to The Spiritual Dating Podcast – Where Faith, Wisdom, and Love Align
This podcast is dedicated to strong, successful, spiritually grounded single women who deeply desire a loving, healthy, and committed relationship — but are no longer willing to settle. If you're ready to stop settling and start dating with intention, heart, and hope — this podcast is for you!
Spiritual Dating
Healing Trust Issues: The Path to True Love
What's really keeping you from finding love? If you've been hurt before, your hesitation to open your heart again isn't just emotional—it's biological. Your nervous system is literally programmed to protect you from future pain, creating invisible barriers between you and the relationship you desire.
In this revealing episode, I uncover the three fundamental reasons why trust becomes so difficult after heartbreak. While most of us blame our exes for our inability to trust, the truth is much more complex. Your trust issues likely stem from a combination of not trusting yourself to choose wisely, not truly trusting divine protection, and yes, struggling to trust men based on past experiences.
The most surprising insight? Quality men actively seek women who can trust them without constant reassurance. When a good man senses your trust issues, he often withdraws—not because he fears commitment, but because he knows a relationship without trust is fundamentally broken. I share a personal story about how my ex's inability to trust ultimately ended our relationship, despite my consistent efforts to prove my trustworthiness.
For spiritually-minded women, understanding the connection between faith and trust opens a powerful pathway to healing. Your intuition isn't random—it's divine guidance designed to protect you from investing in the wrong relationships. When you develop deeper faith, you recognize these signals for what they are: God steering you toward the love you deserve.
The good news is that healing trust issues doesn't require years of therapy. With the right strategies, you can develop confidence in your ability to choose wisely, deepen your spiritual connection, and open yourself to the possibility that trustworthy men exist. Because the truth is, God didn't place that desire for love in your heart without providing a path to fulfill it.
Ready to overcome the trust barriers standing between you and love? Join our private Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/spiritualdatingforwomen or reach out directly to joe@joemoia.com for personalized guidance on your spiritual dating journey.
Are you at that point in your love life where you still desire that amazing guy to share your life with, but you're tired of the frustration, the rejection and the constant disappointment of the modern dating scene? Well, if so, I want you to pay close attention, because in this episode, I've got something that's going to help you to feel better and more optimistic about the future of your love life. About the future of your love life Welcome to the Spiritual Dating Podcast, where spirituality, psychology and successful dating strategies come together to help you turn the love you desire into a reality. I'm your host, joe Amoya, your spiritual dating and relationship coach. If you're a spiritually grounded woman who has almost everything you want except a great guy to share your life with, you're in the right place. If you're done settling, tired of the dating merry-go-round and ready to attract a high-quality, emotionally available man who will love you the way God created you to be loved, this podcast is for you. I'm here to show you how to date smarter, love deeper and create the kind of relationship your heart desires and truly deserves. Hello, beautiful soul, it's Joe. Welcome back to another episode. I am so excited to be spending this time with you again today.
Speaker 1:This is actually episode number 10, dhe as we say in Italian and today's a real good one. Well, I believe they're real good ones. I'm a little biased, but today we're going to talk about trust Because, if you're like most individuals who are listening to this podcast and who are part of our community, you're at that stage of your life where you've probably been married and, if not, you've had a long-term committed relationship where you gave your heart to someone and you were convinced and you knew that they were the one and you believed they were the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. But ultimately it didn't work out and you probably wound up with a broken heart or you were hurt or something else, where it just you just felt it in your bones, in your soul, and that rocked you to your core, and so now you're at a point where you're conflicted.
Speaker 1:You want that relationship, you want that special someone to share your life with, because it resonates in your soul, and you know how amazing it is when you have someone in your life that you love and who's loving on you, and you're sharing all the wonderful things that couples get to share and who's loving on you, and you're sharing all the wonderful things that couples get to share, but there's that part of you that's like oh, I don't know. Yeah, I want that, but what if? And that's where you start going wrong. You start spiraling down that what if? And the fear kicks in. And so the first thing I want you to understand is that, if that's you, that's completely normal. And you are now on autopilot, because what happens is that a part of your nervous system, the part that's used to protect you, is kicking in. It's like danger, will Robinson, danger, danger, danger. And so, as much as you want a relationship in your heart, there's a part of you that has a hard time trusting, and we're going to talk about that today, because there are three reasons that you don't trust. Most people think, oh, it's don't. I don't trust because he did this to me and you know, I gave him my heart and he broke it, and now, as a result of that, I can't trust anymore. That's only one of the ways, one of the reasons that you're probably struggling with trusting, but there are other reasons that I find, and if you're not aware of those other reasons, this whole trusting becomes very, very, very difficult because you're going against a part of you that's automatically and unconsciously designed to protect you.
Speaker 1:So let me give you a little biology lesson. You know, as a former chiropractor, I spent a lot of time dealing with bones and nerves and spines and things like that. You know I've got a pretty good understanding of the nervous system. So there's part of this nervous system it's called the autonomic nervous system, the ANS, and it's comprised of two parts. It's comprised of the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. Now, for the purpose of this, we're just going to talk about the sympathetic nervous system, and this is like the Clip Notes version.
Speaker 1:That part of your nervous system is designed to protect you. You've heard of fight or flight. Well, that's what this nervous system does. When something happens and you're in stress mode or you're in danger mode, it causes you to fight right or it causes you to flee, to run away. So that nervous system, its role, its only role, is to protect you and keep you safe. So when you have trust issues, it's like I'm not safe, I could potentially get hurt, I'm screwed, I don't know what to do. So you know what this nervous system goes into action and it will protect you.
Speaker 1:Now the problem with this is. For most of the time, it's automatic and unconscious, so you may not even be aware. That's why, when everything's going well and I see this all the time it's like you meet someone and he's a good guy and you want a relationship, but all of a sudden, because you don't trust, you have challenges with trusting, that nervous system kicks in and very often you can sabotage the relationship. And so, even though it's what your heart desires, your brain, your nervous system will cause you to screw it up. And again, this is just part of human behavior, and we wanna shine the light of this so that you're aware of this and you can see how to overcome it, because it's really not that difficult. You just gotta know what to do and how to do it. So I just want you to give me a little background on that. So just got to know what to do and how to do it. So I just want you to give me a little background on that.
Speaker 1:So the first thing you want to talk about is these three reasons why we don't trust, right? So the first, and this is like a real key you know a lot of times when I'll be having conversations, like you know, I'm having a hard time trusting and it's like you know she'll go on and she'll talk about what happened and guys and the X and all that. And I'm like your real main issue is you don't trust yourself. And it's you know, at first there's like some pushback, some resistance, and then we dialogue further and it's like you don't trust yourself to pick a man who's not going to hurt you. Because if you truly trusted yourself to pick a man that you knew could potentially hurt you and that you knew you were smart enough to identify the yellow and red flags before he hurt you and you knew that it was time for you to walk away, you wouldn't struggle with trust at all, would you? And she's like no, and I do get some individuals, you know, some individuals say, yes, but I could do all that and a man could hurt me. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's the other two issues is because you can be confident in your ability to trust yourself, but you're not confident in these other two areas that we're going to talk about.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the first is that you don't trust yourself to be able to protect yourself and be able to pick a guy who isn't going to hurt you, right? So that's the first one. The second one is that you don't trust God to protect you, and this is very common. Now I've worked with a lot of women who have faith and though I believe in God, I'm like, yes, you believe in God, like the divine, omnipotent being up in the clouds, but you don't really know who God really is, the role he plays in your life and how he wants you to be happy and how he wants to protect. He doesn't want you to give your heart to another jerk. He doesn't want you to give your heart to a man who's going to betray you and he's going to do everything to let you know and to give you flags yellow flags and red flags. Your intuition is going to be screaming to let you know this is not the guy that I want for you. God wants for you. But because you have free will, you can ignore those red flags. Or because when you first meet a guy, he's the lots of fun and you have so much chemistry and the physical attraction is amazing that you ignore all the other things that God wants you to see. So you ignore the red flags. So I promise you that when you understand and have that true faith in God and know who God really is and how he communicates and works with you and guide you on your journey, you ultimately will realize that and trust God to protect you.
Speaker 1:You know we talk about all the time intuition. Well, what is intuition? It's the voice of God saying don't get out of here, don't give your heart to this guy, or you know what he's treating you like a convenience and you should be a priority. But again, you have free will and you can choose what you choose and ultimately you are going to experience the results of that. All right. So if you're not trusting, it's because you don't trust yourself, or you don't trust God to protect you, and that's okay. Right, we're human, we go on this journey. We don't get an instruction manual. If that's happening, it's like okay, what do I need to do to learn to trust God? Right? Because I need to do to learn to trust God Right, cause now you've identified the problem. I say you know, realization is the first step towards rehabilitation. Okay, I don't trust God to protect me? Okay, great. What do I need to learn? What do I need to do differently to be able to trust God Right? And that's where you do your work Okay.
Speaker 1:And the third and this is the most common one is you don't trust me, right. So it's like an eternal I'm sorry, an external block, right, and you have every reason to right. I get it, you know, based on your past. You know I see this all the time it's you're a wonderful person, you give your heart to a man and you truly believe he is the love of your life, and then somewhere, somehow, things go sideways. Somewhere, somehow, things go sideways and you ultimately realize that he's not the partner that you ultimately hoped he was and that he let you down. And now you have to deal with the wake of all of that.
Speaker 1:And that's tough in this human journey. It's tough especially at that point if you're a mom and you've got children to take care of and you've got responsibilities and you've depended on that man for financial resources. And now you've got children to take care of and you've got responsibilities and you've depended on that man for financial resources and now you've got to rely more on your own or whatever it may be Like. There's a lot that goes in with that. I totally get it. And so now, after all that, it's really hard to go. Okay, now I'm ready to trust again.
Speaker 1:Again, if you don't trust yourself and you don't trust God, it's like I'm fucked. So you know what it's easier not to trust and my question is is it Like, what is the cost of not learning how to trust and have confidence and faith in yourself and in God to wind up with the right partner? Like? Isn't the cost of that much greater? And again, it's your journey. I'm not here to tell you what to think or how to think, and I'm just here to share what I've learned, what I know to be true and things that I see and experience to hopefully make your journey a little easier. But really, that's really what it comes down to is that if you're going to have a relationship, you've got to be able and it's going to be easier to turn the love you desire into your reality when you trust yourself, when you trust God and you trust men.
Speaker 1:Now, I know, joe, do you know what it's like? You know how many guys out there who are not trustworthy? Yes, I've been a member of the male species now for over five decades. I get that there are a lot of guys out there and I'll even give you the majority of guys at this stage who are not trustworthy, okay, and I don't mean trustworthy, as they're just scum. Okay, there are a lot of good guys who are just emotionally damaged, who haven't done their work, who are mostly available, emotionally unavailable or emotionally unhealthy relationship partners Again, good guys, just not healthy relationship partners. But if you give your heart to one of those guys, you're still going to wind up getting screwed. And then it's like see, you know he was a good guy and look what I got to show for it. So I totally, totally, totally get it.
Speaker 1:But that's why it's important to understand. This is where you have to do your work, where you can get to the point where it's like I trust myself, I trust God and I trust that there are guys out there who are trustworthy and I'm smart enough and wise enough to identify those guys quickly. And God is going to support me, is going to guide me, is going to help me in identifying when I'm giving my heart or investing in a relationship with someone who isn't worthy of my love, right, and that's really how it works. Now it's really important to understand, especially if you're out there dating. I'm going to give you now the single, the quality single guy's perspective, and I'm talking about a guy who's emotionally available, right. He's ready to be in a committed relationship. He has the goods, he knows how to love a woman, he knows how to be a healthy relationship partner. He wants to be because that's who he is Like, that's in his inherent nature. And so guys like that are out there and they're looking for that special person. And to those guys it's like hey, if I'm going to give my share, the rest of my life and give my heart to one woman like, that woman's got to be special and it's really important that she trusts me. Because I can tell you this from personal experience and I know this from what's going on in the dating world today One of the biggest issues for quality single guys and why a lot of you might have like a great first date with the guy and think everything's going well, but that guy is picking up something that says, oh, you got trust issues and he may not tell you that.
Speaker 1:Okay, because at this point most people don't offer unsolicited advice because we find out it doesn't work. So he's just going to pick up and move on and go find somebody else. I see this happen all the time. It's like you know he just disappeared and you know. And next thing, I know he's in a relationship and he's getting engaged and getting married. Yeah, because he found the right woman. So that quality guy is looking for a woman who's going to trust him. Because there's nothing worse, as a man who wants to be in a relationship, than be with a partner who doesn't trust you. And I can share that from my own personal experience.
Speaker 1:When I was with my ex, she had huge trust issues. Now, I was naive. I thought and I recognize that but I thought if I just showed her what a quality guy is like and how I'm different than the other guys, and I just loved her and I was there for her and I was upfront, honest and showed her how trustworthy I was, that she would see the light and her trust issues would go away. And it never happened and ultimately, the trust issues were became one of the biggest obstacles because it made her so insecure and it made her sabotage the relationship. And so after that I'm like, oh, it's not my job to heal somebody else's trust issues, it's really not.
Speaker 1:And so when I first started dating my wife, I would look for these right as I was dating. I would say, oh, trust issue. Okay, you're a nice person, but you're not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, because I can't be with a woman who doesn't trust me, right? And so one of the first you know my wife from the get-go, you know, completely trusted me, never second-guessed me, never questioned me, because I never gave her any reason to.
Speaker 1:And so we were on one of our first vacations and we went to Las Vegas. We're only dating a couple of months and we were on the beach and we're at Mandalay Bay. I know you're saying beach in Vegas, where's the beach? So we're at the hotel Mandalay Bay, where it doesn't have a pool. It actually has a beach. So we're on the beach and we're just lying in the sun listening to some great tunes, just having fun.
Speaker 1:And there was a woman who walked by and my wife was like, look at the body on that one. And I almost did a double take and I'm like, wait a minute, you trust me to look and you're not going to get insecure and you're not going to think I want to sleep with her or anything else. And I remember that moment. That was over 25 years ago and it still sticks in my brain Cause it's like she trusts me and that just made such an impression on me and it was like one of the multiple things that I experienced with my wife as I was dating that just kept reinforcing. This is the person I wanna share my life with, and I'm sharing that with you because if your goal is to have a healthy, committed and you want a man to commit to the rest of his life to spending it with you and you have issues with trust whether it's trusting yourself, trusting God or trusting men then you've got to deal with those right. And that's why we're doing this podcast is because I want you to realize it doesn't have to be that difficult, so just tie it in right.
Speaker 1:If you have issues where you don't trust yourself, it's that you don't have a strategy to pick the right guy and protect yourself from investing in the wrong man. That's really what it is. If you don't trust God, it's because you have some challenges with your faith. Again, you may believe in God, you may say prayers, but ultimately you don't know who God really is and you don't have that deep connection. And I can't believe.
Speaker 1:I'm actually saying this because I was someone who grew up and went to Catholic school for 13 years and I thought I knew who God was. I really did. And then I got older and went on my journey. I'm like you know what I've got no freaking clue on who God really is, and I had to do my work around that and develop a relationship and get to the point where I'm pretty confident, where I know who God really is and the role that he plays in my life and how he's constantly guiding me and assisting me to help me be who he created me to be. And so I'm sharing this with you because I know I see a lot of women like, okay, well, I have faith, and it's like okay, we go to church and say their prayers, but they really don't know who and what God is and the role God plays in their life. And so I'm sharing this with you because I see, once you do that, like it really really makes a big big difference, it makes this whole journey easier. Once you do that, like it really really makes a big big difference, it makes this whole journey easier, right.
Speaker 1:And so the last one is when you don't trust men, is you simply have an external block? Right, there's a block that you have within your mind and that's where your nervous system kicks in because it's trying to protect you. That's where that sympathetic nervous system fight or flight. It's like you know what Nope this shows up. Trust them and that's what my ex did with me, right, whenever it kicked in. Like, looking back now and seeing it from a different light now that I'm out of it, I'm like, oh my God, every time her trust issues came to the surface, she would project them onto me and she would go at me and start accusing me of things. And you know, for a while, as I said, I tried to put up with it and I tried to calm her fears and love her and show it was different. But ultimately that's what drove me away, because it's like you don't trust me and I'm like I'm the most trust guy, trustworthy guy in the world. Like I'm an open book, I'm never going to hide where I'm going, what I'm doing, who I'm doing it with, like I'm always upfront and honest and yet, with all that, you still don't trust.
Speaker 1:So I'm sharing this with you today because this is really important. If you're at that stage where you're looking for love and you want that person to share your life with. It's absolutely vital, because no man, no quality man, is going to commit the rest of his life to a woman who doesn't trust him. He doesn't care why you trust, why you don't trust, what happened to you when it happened, how long ago it happened and all the other reasons that you have for why you shouldn't trust. Because he's like I'm not that way and if you're going to lump me in with those guys, then you're not going to love me for who I am and therefore, if I can't be who I truly am, I can't be in this relationship, and that's when he'll just check out physically or emotionally. Okay. So I'm sharing this with you because this trust is really, really vital and it's not as difficult.
Speaker 1:Now. I know you might be listening to this going, joe, but I understand and this makes sense, but what do I do? I wish I could say okay, we'll just do this, this, this, because it's different for each of these scenarios. So, in the event you do struggle and you have some questions about what to do to get a hold of your trust issues, to overcome them, then simply send me an email You'll see the information at the bottom of the description in this video or, if you're receiving this through Facebook or through an email, our email address is over there and just send me an email to joe at joemoyacom and I'll have a conversation with you and to see how we can guide you and support you on this journey.
Speaker 1:Because once you overcome these trust issues, it just becomes so much easier. Trust me and you put yourself in position because here's the deal, god's like. You want me to send you a guy and you want that specialist I'm gonna share your life with. How can I send them to you If you don't trust, right, that guy that you're looking for? He wants a woman that will trust him, and if you can't trust him, well then I need you to do work my dear. And again, it doesn't mean you need years of therapy. It's simply a matter of identifying, developing a strategy, knowing what to do and knowing, knowing how to protect yourself and knowing how to tap in and develop your faith so God can protect you, so that you can ultimately find the one guy who will show you that he's trustworthy. All right, I hope this helps. As always, if you have any questions, comments or feedback, feel free to send them to me. I'll see you next week. Much love.
Speaker 1:Thanks for spending this time with me on the Spiritual Dating Podcast. I truly hope today's episode helped you to feel more hopeful, more empowered and more connected to the love that you're meant to have. If this episode resonated with you, please make sure to follow the show so you never miss an episode. And if you really feel inspired, I'd be so grateful if you left a review or shared it with another amazing woman who you know deserves to have a great guy by her side to share life with. And if you're ready to go deeper and get real guidance on your spiritual dating journey, come join me in our private Facebook community. Just grab the link in the description of today's episode. Until next time, remember you're not too old, it's not too late and the love you desire is absolutely possible, because God didn't put that desire in your heart for no reason. This is Joe Amoya, your spiritual dating coach, reminding you that true love is your birthright, so let's make it your reality.