Spiritual Dating

Finding Love in The Dark Times

• Joe Amoia

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Have you ever wondered why the same patterns keep showing up in your dating life? There's a profound connection between how we perceive what's going on in our world and how we experience love.

In this deeply thoughtful exploration, we examine how focusing on the dark times—whether in world news or dating experiences—can blind us to the divine opportunities surrounding us. Just as focusing solely on negative world events keeps us trapped in cycles of judgment and polarization, fixating on the negative aspects of most single men and the disappointing dating and relationship experiences often  prevent us from recognizing and attracting loving relationships.

The reality is startling: statistics suggest around 85% of single men over 50 may not be emotionally healthy or available relationship partners. But the spiritual question becomes: are you allowing this statistic to define your reality? When we approach dating from a place of judgment rather than understanding, we unknowingly block the very love we seek. Quality men who are emotionally available aren't attracted to energy filled with distrust and resentment.

This episode shares a powerful transformation story of a woman who believed her physical appearance made her unworthy of love. By shifting her perspective and aligning with divine truth, she attracted a partner who loves her exactly as she is. Her external reality didn't change until her internal landscape transformed first.

God's love has no limits, but it must be welcomed from within. When we clear our internal darkness—judgment, resentment, and fear—we create space for divine love to enter. Ready to see your dating journey through different eyes? Your love story is waiting to unfold when you align with the light instead of focusing on the darkness.

Speaker 1:

What if I could show you that the assassination of Charlie Kirk could be a gift to help you find the love that God wants for you? Intrigued, come join me on this episode. Welcome to the Spiritual Dating Podcast, where spirituality, psychology and successful dating strategies come together to help you turn the love you desire into a reality. I'm your host, joe Amoya, your spiritual dating and relationship coach. If you're a spiritually grounded woman who has almost everything you want except a great guy to share your life with, you're in the right place. If you're done settling, tired of the dating merry-go-round, and ready to attract a high-quality, emotionally available man who will love you the way God created you to be loved, this podcast is for you. I'm here to show you how to date smarter, love deeper and create the kind of relationship your heart desires and truly deserves. Desires and truly deserves. Hello, beautiful souls, it's Joe. Welcome back to another episode of the Spiritual Dating Podcast. Why don't you take a deep breath? Because in this episode we're going to go a little sideways. We're going to talk about the assassination of Charlie Kirk and how I believe that can be a gift to help you find the love that God wants for you. Now I know hearing that, like, are you effing crazy? Like? No, I'm not, I promise you I'm not, but I just ask you to open your heart and open your mind to receive what I'm going to be sharing with you today. I believe that what?

Speaker 1:

First of all, let me start off by saying this is not a political podcast. I am not talking politics at all. I'm not talking left, I'm not talking right, I'm not, I'm not going there. Okay, this is a podcast about love, right, divine love, god's love, and what we're going to talk about today is how the darkness in the world very often keeps us from experiencing the love, the joy, the happiness our heart's desire. Experiencing the love, the joy, the happiness our heart's desire. So I believe that what happened to Charlie Kirk is a microcosm of what's going on in your love life.

Speaker 1:

If you're at that point in your life where you're like you really want someone special to share your life with, but it's really, really frustrating because you see a lot of darkness out there, right, you see a lot of guys who are selfish, a lot of guys who only care about one thing, a lot of guys that are emotionally unavailable. Right, they have no idea how to be a healthy relationship partner, a lot of guys that are emotionally unhealthy, like they have stuff from their past that they've never addressed, that they're not looking at, that they don't want to deal with and they want to blame everybody and everything. Right. Those are the narcissists of the world. So I don't live with my head under a rock. I realize the world that we live in and you know, and, to be honest, when I heard what happened to Charlie Kirk, I wasn't shocked by it. Knowing that the world we live in today and how a lot of people are so polarized and so emotionally charged, it wasn't shocking to me at all emotionally charged. It wasn't shocking to me at all.

Speaker 1:

Now, in all transparency, I didn't go watch the video because there was really no need to. How is watching that video going to help me in my journey to be more of a child of God? It's really not To me, it's just emotional noise and there's a lot of. I would have watched that in the past and I would have watched it and I went to what the fuck's wrong with people and how can somebody do this? And I would have went down that road and then got into the whole, you know, left and right argument and all of that At this point in my life, not going there, and the reason I didn't go there is because I wanted to see the divine purpose in it. So what I know, what I believe to be true, is there's a divine purpose for everything.

Speaker 1:

Now, I don't believe it was God's plan for Charlie Kirk to get assassinated in front of all those people and, from what I understand, his family being there as well his wife and I believe he has two children. I don't believe that was God's plan. But what I do believe is God gives us free will and, based on how we show up in this world, our free will. We use our free will to create certain beliefs, certain behaviors, and we very often become indoctrinated by the world. And that's why we're sharing this, because, if you're dating, there's probably a part of you that's very frustrated with the whole process, right With the darkness, with men, with online dating, with getting yourself all ready, with showing up and being the best you can be, and attracting guys who have no idea how to court a woman, how to pursue a woman, how to love a woman, how to respect a woman, how to honor a woman. Again, don't live with my head under a rock.

Speaker 1:

I would probably say, based on my experience, my knowledge and my research, I would probably say, based on my experience, my knowledge and my research, that about 85% of single men over 50, that's our audience here are not emotionally healthy or available relationship partners. Now, again, you can say that sucks. There's something called Pareto's law, it's the 80-20 rule and it's based on if you look at anything in life, you can break it down into percentages of 80% and 20%. So, and it's like, if you look at it, the economy in this country, right, 20% of the individuals have 80% of the money. Right, the individuals have 80% of the money. Right, it's just what? It is right, statistics back that up. So it's the rich that have, which are the minority, that have the majority of the money. And so in this dating world, I would say that 85% of men are not emotionally healthy or emotionally available relationship partners.

Speaker 1:

Not a judgment, just an observation. You know, and again, don't say don't believe it, because I'm saying it. Use your eyes, use your own ears. Like, what number do you say is is, do those numbers get backed up? Probably Right, so, um, that's just the reality. That's the dark.

Speaker 1:

I call that the darkness, but there's also a lot of good, and so the individuals who are in the light, who are seeing it the way God wants us to see or I believe the way God wants us to see it wants to focus on the gift, the opportunity, because I believe everything that happens in life happens for us, even the assassination of Charlie Kirk, according to a divine purpose, a bigger purpose which we may not understand now. There's a reason why that happened, not because God willed it. It's because it's serving a bigger purpose for our collective souls, and so I think the same thing is happening in relationships. There are a lot of individuals who, in the love department, are experiencing darkness, but instead of seeing it as a gift and opportunity to learn, to make the necessary changes, changes, their human minds, their egos, get caught up in talking about the darkest and focusing on the darkness and saying how the darkness sucks. And if the people who lived in the dark just changed their ways, we'd live in a happier, better world. Now I'm not disagreeing. If those who played on the darkness playground right the ones who are negative, who are angry, who are fearful, who have venom, who are hurt, who haven't dealt with their pain, if all those individuals just changed their way and found the light and lived from love, yeah, we'd have an amazing, a beautiful world, a utopian world, right?

Speaker 1:

I think, globally, consciously, we're slowly headed in that direction and I think that's why things like this happen to wake us up, to help us see that there is a different way of looking at things. So how does this pertain to your love life? Things? So how does this pertain to your love life? Because it's really the same, right, if you focus on the negative, you focus on the men that suck and how they don't do the right things and you start labeling them. I think that's where, that's where we go.

Speaker 1:

Wrong is when we label instead of understanding, because what I know to be true is hurt people, hurt people. All these individuals who are arguing and justifying and fighting for why they are right and the others are wrong, aren't coming from love. It's coming from judgment, and judgment is the quickest way that we unplug from our divine nature. Our divine nature is love. We are created to be loved and to express our love. Those are divine relationships, right? But when we unplug and our mind and our ego takes over, and our mind and our ego takes over, what happens is we go into judgment and then we start coming up with all the evidence of why the other side is wrong.

Speaker 1:

And again, I'm not saying that men don't play nice. A lot of men don't play nice and don't play fair. And I'll give you the majority, the majority who are so disconnected from their loving self, their true nature, are not ready and I don't know if some of those guys ever will be. That's their journey. But your journey as a woman, as a single woman, is not to talk about those guys and give those guys your energy and fall into that trap. And I see that all the time.

Speaker 1:

I had a conversation with a woman yesterday who was, you know, I wrote a post just asking about what do you struggle most with in your life? Is it your faith in men, is it your faith in God or is it in your faith in yourself? Like it was a simple question. And this question hit a nerve with this woman and she went on this diatribe talking, you know, basically accusing me of not understanding women and making women the problem, and I was kind of blown away by it because that wasn't the intention of my post at all. But that kind of became the impetus for this podcast today is because if you see someone through the filters of darkness, through the filters of hate, you can't connect to that love in your heart.

Speaker 1:

And I can tell you this with 100% certainty that the quality single guys who are out there, the guys who are emotionally available, who are emotionally healthy and who are looking to be in a happy, healthy relationship with the right woman, don't want a woman who's full of anger, don't want a woman who doesn't trust men. Woman who doesn't trust men doesn't want a woman who thinks men are the only problem in the world and who is going to judge him because he's a man. I remember when I was dating, being on a date and having that conversation and a woman telling me all about how men are the problem and men don't know how to show up and love a woman and be respectful, and you know, and they can't be trusted because they only care about one thing Like in my head. I'm like, do you realize? Like I'm sitting across from you and you are labeling me with all those men that you believe are a certain way, and I can respect that and, based on her experience, she probably have every right to believe that, but to label all men a certain way is doing a disservice not just to men, to the quality men, it's doing disservice to women.

Speaker 1:

You know there was a while back and you know I like to believe I've come a long way on my journey. I used to call it the BMC, which is the bitch and moan club, and at that point it was like I noticed a lot of women who all they would do is get around and complain and and be at and moan about men and how they suck and how they can't love women. And again, I've been a member of the male species for a long time. I completely get that. But when we label all men like that, it's hurting men and it's hurting women.

Speaker 1:

It's just like in politics when we label one side as wrong and ours right, we're doing the same thing. We're creating polarization, because when, in order for a side to be right, the other has to automatically be wrong and there's no way to come together, there's no way to create a communication, there's no way to create an understanding. You know, it's amazing to me whenever I have conversations like the one I had yesterday and I reach out and I try to dialogue to say, hey, you know, I understand where you're coming from. There's another side. Let's dialogue. It's like crickets. It's almost as if people say you know what? I'm not open to having a conversation to get to the truth. I'd rather be right and miserable or, in this case, I'd rather be right and single and blame men for my problems than maybe look at the role I may be playing, because we're not going to get into the whole quantum physics Maybe we'll do that one day but it's all energy.

Speaker 1:

If you think, speak and you act and you take actions in a way that show the universe that you don't believe quality men exist. You think they're all the same way and there's no good ones out there. Well, that's what's going to be your reality. If you look at any area of your life, what you're experiencing in your reality is a direct reflection of what you believe in your unconscious mind, and so that's why we do this. We do this to help shine the light of truth, so you can maybe see where you just need to tweak things, because I promise you, god doesn't want you to struggle. God doesn't want us to fight and throw all this venom at each other. That's not part of his plan. That's what we do as human beings in this crazy journey called life. But no matter how much darkness is there, there's always light, and the light always, always, always outshines the darkness, even in those moments where it's hard to see. Again. I'm not following this at all I'm not, but from what I hear, what people tell me, that there's a lot of good that's coming from this, just like what happened.

Speaker 1:

We recently had the 9-11 anniversary. I lived 20 minutes outside of New York City. You know when that day happened. You know I can see the. You know the fighter jets flying over. You know the roads being shut down, everybody in panic. You know watching on a TV calling people who knew people right, like it was so real. I was experiencing that. But I also remember, right after that happened, going down to the trade centers and volunteering and helping and all the love and all the community and all the greatness in human nature that came out of it. And for, like I was probably about two years, new York City was a completely different place. But what happened we slipped back down again was a completely different place. But what happened? We slipped back down again.

Speaker 1:

Now, again, I'm not going into politics, I'm just trying to be here to shine the light of truth, because it's something I see over and over and over again and it really breaks my heart. There's so many amazing individuals who have so much potential and so much love to give and to receive, but who are unknowingly blocking it because their human minds and their human egos are more invested in being right than to discover the truth and to shine the light of what's really going on. Because I promise you, once you do that and you shine the light, you're going to discover what God wants you to see. You know, I went through this recently and we'll wrap up on this with a woman who was just going through some tough times and she didn't feel that she was worthy enough, because she felt she needed to look a certain way. And she was saying that men didn't want to be with a woman like her because of the way she looked, right, Because of her physical appearance, and that was something she truly believed.

Speaker 1:

And that's what she kept experiencing in her reality and, to her credit, she was willing to see it differently. She was willing to see it through the eyes of God and to learn where she may have been going sideways, and also she realized that her physical appearance had nothing to do with her ability to being loved. And once she made those changes and she put herself out there in that energy, did she stop meeting jerks? No, she just didn't take it personal, but she stopped meeting less and less of them. And then, if it wasn't the right guy, she's like they did me a favor. He wasn't the right one. And then, ultimately, she met a wonderful guy and she's in a great relationship with a man who loves and adores her exactly for who she is right now. And that woman she is right now is no different than the woman she was not that long ago.

Speaker 1:

So that's why I'm sharing this with you is, god's love has no limits. But God's love has to come from within, and if there's darkness in you, it's going to be harder to see that love in the world, to see the light in the world. But God says that's okay, it's still there, it's still a possibility for you. But in order for God to send that love to you, you have to be ready and you have to be in alignment with it. That's your job, and when you do your job, I promise you God will do his. So that's all I got for you today.

Speaker 1:

I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on this Right? Does it resonate? If so, why? And if it doesn't resonate, let me know that as well. But this isn't a conversation we're going to have to try and prove each other wrong, because I'm not going to go that route. If you try and prove me wrong, I will accept the way you feel, I will acknowledge the way you feel and then I just won't engage because I'm not going to take the bait, because that's how we stop this madness we stop taking the bait and we connect to the love and light that God put within us. As always, honored and privileged to spend this time with you, I'll see you next time, much love.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for spending this time with me on the Spiritual Dating Podcast. I truly hope today's episode helped you to feel more hopeful, more empowered and more connected to the love that you're meant to have. If this episode resonated with you, please make sure to follow the show so you never miss an episode. And if you really feel inspired, I'd be so grateful if you left a review or shared it with another amazing woman who you know deserved to have a great guy by her side to share life with. And if you're ready to go deeper and get real guidance on your spiritual dating journey? Come join me in our private Facebook community. Just grab the link in the description of today's episode. Until next time, remember you're not too old. Until next time, remember you're not too old, it's not too late and the love you desire is absolutely possible, because God didn't put that desire in your heart for no reason. This is Joe Amoya, your spiritual dating coach, reminding you that true love is your birthright, so let's make it your reality.