Coping with the (N) Word

Although I do not believe that people ever go out of their way to effectively plan the exact words they will speak over the course of each day, I do believe that some words, especially culturally sensitive words implemented by a specific race, are simply spoken as part of everyday language for so many people of different races. For instance, we live in a world today in which the use of the "N" word or "Nigga" has truly become commonplace. I have repeatedly heard the word used in daily conversations thousands of times by just as many people of other races as I have heard it used by my very own race; African American or Black.  

To further elaborate, I made a stop at a particular store prior to heading back to my brother-in-law's home during my family visit to Northern California a couple of weeks ago. Approximately 10 young gentlemen, 5 of which were African American or Black, were having a jovial conversation while explicitly using the word Nigga repeatedly. As I walked closer toward them on my way into the store, the conversation shifted away from the hard core street talk and into a more normal conversation as though the group was worried that I or someone else might say something. However, I went on into the store, retrieved what I needed to get and made my way out of the store. Funny thing though; just as I made my way out of the store, again the conversation appeared to be one of caution. I have no doubt in my mind that as soon as I returned to my vehicle that the conversation returned back to street talk and the boys carried on with the use of the "N" word. I truly believe that those boys used caution anytime an adult African American or Black person came around primarily because half of the group was from different races and they wanted to avoid any possibility of a confrontation.

So listen, dropping the "er" from the word Nigger and replacing it with an "a" to create the word Nigga has powerfully reduced violent confrontations between Blacks and other races over the years. Don't get me wrong, someone outside of the race using the word Nigga can still result in violence but I have learned over the years that the word Nigga was created as a term of endearment to Black Culture that has now become a word shared amongst other cultures that are intertwined into Black culture. In other words, many Blacks today spend most of their time with other races so the use of the word Nigga has become a word that has excepted use by other cultures outside of the Black culture.

For me, I have primarily used the word Nigga around people of my race for years but have done so in an almost non-existent fashion, but that is just me. I do not get too alarmed when I hear it from people of my race but it does bother me at times when I hear it from people outside my race that use the word religiously. However, I have learned to cope with hearing the word Nigga when it is used by other races that are hanging out with my people of my race. That is just the way things have become. I would love to know your thoughts, feelings, etc., regarding the word. Just to let you know, I never will ever condone the use of the word Nigg(er) because that is when you will absolutely cross the line with me but for the word Nigga, I am not as alarmed when the word is jointly used in conversations among people of my race and other races. How about you?

Transcript

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Hey, hey, what's up out there again, everybody? I'm your host, Greg Maca, the You Better Plan on the Podcast. Catch me every Tuesday at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Also, catch me live on YouTube at that same time or go to www.youbetterplan on the podcast.budsprout.com or catch me at one of your favorite sites. Also, thank you to Bud Sprout for helping me get rolling into podcasting. I appreciate your time. Now that said, I want to talk about something very, very sensitive. Very sensitive. And the reason why I want to say is very sensitive is when it comes to the word nigga, the N-word, it has become something very commonplace in society. Not the ER. I've heard that a lot too, and that's definitely can create a racial divide. But now the N I G A, that word, has become incredibly commonplace among all races nowadays, particularly here in the United States. I don't know how you feel about it. You know, I'm not a big fan of the word in terms of you. I don't, I don't use it. Have I used it before? Of course. Around my friends and family, a little bit here and there. But for the most part, I seldom use the word. And I mean when I say seldom, I mean almost never. In joking, yes, I've used it. But the one thing that I'm careful with is who I use it around and when I use it. If you are, I'm an African-American, and if you are that, and you're a friend of mine, and you're one of my boys, and we use it, I'm fine. But I'm not fine at the same time. Because I just try to avoid using it at any given time. That's just me. Everybody's different. Not gonna tell you how you're supposed to do it. I'll just caution you. When you're out and about, like I was here just uh a couple days ago, every color under the sun here in the U.S. in particular loves that word. I mean, I got family members that are not African American who use that word religiously. It is interesting to me that it is is it must be one of the funnest words in the world to use. Obviously, African Americans took that ER off of it and put an A at the end of it. Because the ER, that's one of those words that will get you killed or violently beaten. It will spark outrage and a heartbeat. The A word comedians use it all the time, especially black comedians. Does it really bother me? Eh, doesn't bother me so much. But when you have a group of children, young teenagers, various colors, there's about eight or ten kids on the bikes hanging out, and they were getting it in, nigga this and nigga that, all different colors, to include black. I could hear them plain as day. But what was interesting when I walked out of the building that I was in, oh no, I'll take it back. Going into the building, because I was walking that building with several other people, I was not with them, I was just going into the same building. All of a sudden, you could hear them, and then they got quiet until we passed by and went into the building. And then it was like on the way out of the building, they were having a good time using the word, but then as soon as I'm coming out of the building and other folks coming out of the building, it's like they hushed because maybe I look like somebody, or maybe someone else looked like someone who might stop and say something. Maybe they thought I was a police officer, I don't know. Maybe they thought I was a minister or something like that. But man, they were just rolling in it, and I could hear them when I was over there by my truck, and as I got closer to them and they noticed people walking in that direction, then they went away from it. So, my question to you is if you're in my shoes and you heard it from that distance, it wasn't extremely loud, and where I was parked, I wasn't too far away, but and then they stopped using it. You know, should I have said something? Do I make a correction? Do I just get in their business and say something that could result in all of them versus me? Because people are violent nowadays, you know, and it's interesting. I mean, that N-I-G-G-A, the word nigga, and if that bothers you with me saying that, I apologize to you. But I'm just saying, we have to start digging deep and start looking at things, you know. Is that word something that's traumatic for you or for others? For me, the word doesn't specifically penetrate me until I see folks using it in a negative way. And be honest, even when they use it in a positive way, I just I'm not a fan of the word at all, but that's just me. Everyone's different. I can't tell you how to be, not trying to tell you how to be, but I just want to know. Give me some feedback, help me out with it, help me be better in understanding it myself. I mean, yeah, I'm a black man, I've used it before, but I'm like one of those people, I might say it if I say it at all, maybe once or twice a month. Not gonna lie and say I never say it. It's just that when I hear it and it's coming from different ethnic backgrounds, it's a little bit alarming to me. But when the interesting part though is when you have black kids or adults using it, and other races that are with them using it along with them, that's comfortable to people nowadays. Now, if the ER part of it was being used and I recognize that, then I know I'm going to say something, but it was the A that was attached to it, and I think about five or six, about five people in that group of the eight or nine were black using it. And then I've heard adults use it. Now I'm talking about older adults, people older than me with other ethnic backgrounds. But how do you feel about it? Help me out. Write back to me, send me fan mail, do something, send me something. Go to my website, shoot me a message because I want to know your thoughts. This is this is big time, you know. For me, it's just a little different. I don't really get riled up because I hear it unless it's being used in a negative light. And I've heard people get into altercations, and they're even different races, and they are just going out. And I'm not trying to get anyone hurt or killed by having you jump into something that you were not meant to be a part of, and then to get hurt, and because people pack nowadays and everything else, so you have to be cautious at all times. But sometimes it is so alarming to just hear it, and yeah, you know, like when they did the roast of Kevin Hart, I think it popped out a few times, and then when Kevin Hart's doing it, Kat Williams' doing, you know, Aaron Spears, it's comedy. They're black, so they're gonna use it. But for me, if you are a white guy or a Mexican guy, or non-black, you being a comedian and saying it, you know, is that gonna rub me the wrong way? It's comedy, and you're doing a professional show, most likely not. And I and I've noticed that I've watched a number of non-African American comedians, non-black comedians, they don't even use it. But I do know a couple that have. But when it's a public setting and you're outside or you're coming into a building or you're going somewhere and there's a group of people, people saying it, nine times out of ten, if not ten out of ten, there's almost always, if not always, another black African American in that group using it. And everybody's comfortable. But are you comfortable? Do you mind it? Does it bother you? Does it move you in a negative light? I mean, do you say it behind closed doors or with your family and friends? I mean, I know it's a tough word to gauge. It just is. You know, I'm not a fan of the word. It's not something that I'm gonna use every single day, it's not something I'm gonna be talking to my friends and using it religiously. It's just not me, it's never been me. And I don't care whether it's the ER or the A. I'm just curious as to what you think. For me, here's my opinion. If you're using the ER part of the word, that is out. Always. Period, cut and dry in the story. If you're using it with the A and you are doing it in a comedic way, professional comedians, people, I'm okay with it just because that's the culture. That's the way it is. Whether they're gonna write Congress and tell them you have to stop or write the comedian. If you're out and you're with a group of your friends and family and everything, and people using it, and you got a mixed crowd using it, blacks, whites, Chinese, whatever. And am I gonna cut a back and slip? No. However, if you are a don't have any African American people in the group, it might bother me a little bit if you are getting down with it and making sure that and having fun with it. It might bother me somewhat. I might be subject to say something. I'm not gonna sit here or stand here and say that I will say something. I'm not sure how I would react because I haven't had that happen yet. If it was just a group of people and not one African American in the group, and you just letting it fly off the handle using the A. Like I said, the ER is out, period. I'm gonna say something, even if it's a mixed group. The A, chances are, I can I can live with that because I understand culturalistically that that word has been ingratiated into society. When the African Americans place that A on the end of it, and everybody's buddies using it too, even if they're not African American or black, it has become a cultural shift in language. It can be a very fun word, apparently, from what I hear and what I've seen and what I've been a part of. But again, for me, like the ER's out, the A, I I can live with. Not gonna sit here and ridicule people for it. But if you are all non-African American or black, and you're having a party using it, I mean, hey, just hey, you know, if you don't mind, uh, please don't use that word. Not going go over and cut a backwards flip and create chaos and start a fight. I may correct you on it. Depending on the situation, I understand, because I I'm cautious about what I do. Coming from the Marine Corps and having a specific background about doing things, violent acts and things that I've been trained in. I'm not just gonna walk up and start a fight and throw a tantrum. But I want to know your feelings, your thoughts. How do you feel about the ER versus the A? N-I-G-G-E-R, N-I-G-G-A, nigger or nigger? How do you feel about it? I just really want to know. It's a powerful word, no matter which way you use it. But again, it's been ingratiated with the A and to our society, and I believe it's become a worldwide tradition now. I think other countries probably use it nowadays. Because so many people from other countries that are here that go back home, probably take it back home. People are like, oh man, I like that word. It's just like a bowl of cereal. Let's get with it. So, with that said, you know, I'm just curious as to your thoughts on what you think about the word nigger versus the word nigger. Come on, get back with me, tell me. Let me know what you think. In closing, thank you for your time. And thank you for just being there for me as I continue my podcast journey, watching and tuning in, and listening in. You can catch me again at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time every Tuesday. You can also catch me live on YouTube at that same time or go to www.ubetterplan on it podcast.bursprout.com and catch me on one of your favorite sites. Thanks again. God bless. Always remember a plan that succeeds is a plan that can fulfill one's needs. Simplify. Uh, God bless.