Overcoming Self-Doubt and Ending Self-Sabotage with Practical Wisdom — with Adrian Hanks | BlissTalk Podcast

Are you tired of the inner critic that keeps holding you back? In this powerful episode of the BlissTalk Podcast, Adrian Hanks—holistic psychotherapist, counsellor, and leading-edge coach—shares his transformative approach to breaking the cycles of self-doubt and self-sabotage so you can step into your most empowered, aligned self.

With over 20 years of professional experience and a lifelong personal commitment to self-mastery through the path of Anthroposophy (inspired by Rudolf Steiner), Adrian brings a rare depth of authenticity and integrity to his work. Known for "walking his talk," Adrian combines grounded psychological tools with deep spiritual insight to help people unlock their potential—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

This episode is more than just a conversation—it's a catalyst for transformation. Whether you're stuck in old patterns, struggling to move forward in your career or relationships, or simply yearning for a deeper sense of confidence and clarity, Adrian offers practical wisdom and powerful tools you can start using immediately.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• The hidden roots of self-sabotage (and why logic alone won’t fix them)
• How to stop the cycle of negative thinking and emotional stagnation
• A revolutionary way to build true, lasting self-confidence—without pharmaceuticals or expensive therapy
• Adrian’s 28-day strategy to melt away self-doubt and unlock aligned action
• The role of emotional microlearning and spiritual alignment in real change
• Why men especially benefit from this simple but powerful personal growth system

If you’re ready to break the shackles of doubt, step out of your own way, and finally become the person you were always meant to be—this episode is your invitation to take the first step. Adrian’s grounded, heartfelt guidance makes transformation feel not only possible but within reach.

✅ Links & Resources:

Ready to Take Charge of Your Health—Emotionally, Mentally, and Spiritually?

Explore Adrian Hanks’ Men’s Health course on Blisspot—a powerful 28-day program designed to help you reclaim your confidence, emotional resilience, and sense of purpose. Grounded in holistic psychology and lived experience, this course offers simple, effective tools to support you in becoming the strongest, most balanced version of yourself.

👉 Discover the “Men’s Health” Course on Blisspot

Transcript

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Deborah Tyson: Hello. I'm absolutely delighted to be here today with Adrian Hanks on our podcast where we're going to talk about

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Deborah Tyson: how you can overcome self doubt and stop self sabotaging. I think that's a topic which many of us would love to learn more about. And Adrian is a real expert in men's health. I've known Adrian for over 5 years now. I love working with Adrian. He

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Deborah Tyson: is truly authentic, and walks his talk.

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Deborah Tyson: He is a psychotherapist and counselor and a leading edge coach, who loves to create and deliver real authentic life, enhancing services.

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Deborah Tyson: his services support.

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Deborah Tyson: guide, and inspire, and even positively challenge, which is important, too.

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Deborah Tyson: people, to get even more out of life. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

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Deborah Tyson: he has been on his own spiritual path of

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Deborah Tyson: and through

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Deborah Tyson: just help me out with that word again, Adrian.

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Adrian Hanks: But as apostrophe.

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Deborah Tyson: And it's really not that hard. And I could say perfectly fine before this, podcast. But and that that stems from the initiatives of Rudolf Steiner

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Deborah Tyson: for 30 years, and has been offering his services as a holistic psychotherapist and counselor and leading edge coach for over 20 years.

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Deborah Tyson: placing him as a genuine leader in this field. He also does. He's very humble. He also does a lot of

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Deborah Tyson: charity work and helps, has helped men and boys for years and years and years.

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Deborah Tyson: His daily commitment to his own personal and spiritual journey gives him the credibility to honestly say he walks his talk, as I've already mentioned.

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Deborah Tyson: Adrian has published several books, created videos, and loves to play the Didgeridoo, which I just think is just absolutely amazing. Where were you saying you were just playing the Didgeridoo recently, Adrian.

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Adrian Hanks: Glastonbury Toa, which is a really sacred site in the south of England.

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Deborah Tyson: How special to bring the Didgeridoo to Glastonbury. What an incredible mix of ancient cultures and wisdom!

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Deborah Tyson: And Adrian also travels! Body serves a bit cold in England. The Uk. Where you live now, Adrian. But yeah, he runs and spends time with family and friends, and he, as I've already mentioned, spends a lot of time with community initiatives and connecting with nature, which I believe is a truly spiritual

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Deborah Tyson: experience as well being with nature.

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Deborah Tyson: So I, as I said, I'm absolutely delighted to be here with Adrian to talk about how to overcome self doubt and stop self sabotaging.

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Deborah Tyson: So, Adrian, if you could just give our audience just a little bit of an idea. What is it that you actually do? What? What is the work that you do.

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Adrian Hanks: Well, I suppose, in essence, by the way, great, to be here with you. Firstly, it's always a pleasure to sit beside you and have a discussion. So in essence, what I do is, I help people to bring more consciousness to their life, more awareness to their life, so they can live that better life physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

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Adrian Hanks: And I do that in several ways. I do that one to one or I do group work either as a sort of counselor, psychotherapist, or more of that nature coach where I can work with people in nature. But in essence it's just helping people to overcome those sabotage patterns, to find that self-love, to find, get rid of that self-doubt.

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Adrian Hanks: and and in essence to love themselves. I think that's always the key. Like if I had to sum everything up is helping people love themselves, because when we can get the space of loving ourselves, then, of course, we can let others love us. We can let the world love us. We can live our lives more authentically.

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Adrian Hanks: because not loving ourselves and having that self-doubt going on in the mind really deliberates us from

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Adrian Hanks: growing into what I call the future potential self.

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Adrian Hanks: that aspect of us.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, our soul knows there's something more, something bigger.

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Adrian Hanks: But getting there is really hard, because we all self sabotage.

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Adrian Hanks: and it stops us from getting to that place.

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Deborah Tyson: It's so true. It's funny, because I see that it's like the soul is always calling us home. And what you say like loving yourself, and it's bandied about those words all the time talked about all the time. But it isn't actually that easy. It's a simple concept that it can be very hard to do so. That's why I'm very grateful to have you that

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Deborah Tyson: immerses yourself and helps people in this exact area to share some of those ideas and concepts today. So what do you think the biggest issue is for men when it comes to looking after their emotional and mental health?

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Adrian Hanks: Oh, that's a huge one.

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Adrian Hanks: A lot of it's a pressure.

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Adrian Hanks: you know. The pressure of the perceived idea of what a man should be.

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Adrian Hanks: And I think in many ways

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Adrian Hanks: we've lost that as men we've lost the identity of what it is to be a man. You know. We're challenged from that from social, politically, in relationship

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Adrian Hanks: with ourselves. You know

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Adrian Hanks: what is a genuine man, you know. What is it to be masculine?

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Adrian Hanks: What is it for a man to be in his power.

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Adrian Hanks: And it's a huge big question.

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Adrian Hanks: and I think, for men to get back on board with

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Adrian Hanks: questioning themselves for us to question ourselves. You know, what is it to be a man? And how can I

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Adrian Hanks: relate to myself as a man right now, even on this planet right now is probably the hardest time to claim your masculinity particularly politically. There's a lot of politics where you can't even almost not say the word masculine anymore. So I think that's the key is to

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Adrian Hanks: is to ask the question always.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, what is it to be a man? I think that that's the 1st place to begin, and then trying to find some answers.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, interesting. And yeah, very pertinent points.

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Deborah Tyson: I think we're going to dive into that a little bit later on, because this is a big men's health is a big issue on the planet right now. It's very, very important.

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Deborah Tyson: So do you believe it is even possible to get past self doubt and self sabotage, with all the pressures that we face in modern world in the modern world. Because

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Deborah Tyson: I know here in Australia at the moment I'm not sure what it's like in the Uk. And it'd be interesting to know. But people are under intense financial

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Deborah Tyson: pressure as a general overall thing, because

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Deborah Tyson: the cost of living has risen so radically since the pandemic, and many people are really just struggling to get by on a day to day basis, not to mention all the other things that men face as well.

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Deborah Tyson: such as not saying, women don't face these things too. But relationship issues, you know, being a good parent being a good son, there's so being great at work. And, as you said, there's so many pressures from society and social media, so do you think it is even possible to get where we want to be, into our natural, happy, and calm place.

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Adrian Hanks: So so directly. Yes.

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Adrian Hanks: and to elaborate on that, Deborah, is the reason I say that is because I've seen it happen, one for myself, for my own inner work and out of work, and secondly, from the men and women that I've worked with over the last 20 years. Absolutely it is, if people

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Adrian Hanks: bring in the commitment

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Adrian Hanks: and the biggest thing, the desire

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Adrian Hanks: one has to desire for change

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Adrian Hanks: without desire and without commitment, nothing really changes. So one could have the best coach in the world, the best psychotherapist in the world, best psychologist in the world. But if the desire isn't there to change.

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Adrian Hanks: and if the commitment isn't there to change, it's very hard to change.

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Adrian Hanks: So if the individual wants it, yes, absolutely

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Adrian Hanks: one can change that patterning, and I've done it to myself. Not perfectly. But I'm certainly have done a lot of work in that area and work with many, many people.

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Adrian Hanks: because there's specific things we can do. And I can elaborate on those as we go through the podcast here

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Adrian Hanks: on things to do, to help that to happen.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, I can just.

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Adrian Hanks: The desire has to be there.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, you have to. You have to want to change and to be that best version of yourself. I totally agree. And I think one other thing I just like to add, which I think you've sort of

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Deborah Tyson: inferred. Anyway, I think you do need to be a little bit courageous to go on the journey, because it's not always easy, and that's why you have to have the desire. You have to really want it, because you also need

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Deborah Tyson: courage to stay with the program when it's not easy, and also the determination and the commitment. But then you get the results. It's like, when you climb up a mountain which can be a bit hard. But then you get to the top and you see the beautiful view. It's that.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, and often terms. I have this conversation actually with my partner yesterday, saying, we're talking about this idea of being on a spiritual journey.

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Adrian Hanks: and we were sharing the idea that it's not so much about the destination.

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Adrian Hanks: It's about learning whilst on the journey towards a destination.

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Adrian Hanks: And I think this is a key thing to remember that a lot of people, when they come to therapy or want work.

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Adrian Hanks: a lot of the focus is on the destination.

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Adrian Hanks: But if we flip that around and say, how about the journey is now your lifestyle.

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Adrian Hanks: the journey is actually part of the process for you now, and learning on the journey.

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Adrian Hanks: So yes, we have the outcome of, you know, getting to that destination of peace and tranquillity, and

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Adrian Hanks: you know, bravery and all those other things and clarity.

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Adrian Hanks: But if we

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Adrian Hanks: can get into our mind, it is about the journey.

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Adrian Hanks: and every day is part of the journey. We build the journey step by step. There's a slightly different consciousness around that.

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Deborah Tyson: I love that, and yes, I could not.

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Adrian Hanks: On the journey, as well as the outcome of the destination.

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Deborah Tyson: You're right. The life is the journey, the journey is life. That's the happiness, the good, the bad, the all of it. Yeah, that's right. I I totally understand. Very good that you made that distinction, too, because I think it's really important. Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah. Yeah. And just coming back to what you mentioned about having some courage just to bring it back to anthropology and my work with Rudolph Stein over the last 30 plus years.

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Adrian Hanks: There are 3 key things that I work with in my therapy and in the spiritual path of anthropology in Rosana.

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Adrian Hanks: and we called them the 3 beasts

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Adrian Hanks: that we have to face, you know, almost daily.

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Adrian Hanks: and that's fair.

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Adrian Hanks: We have to face fear where we and the only anecdote of that is to find courage.

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Adrian Hanks: We have doubt, self-doubt in particular.

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Adrian Hanks: and the only way to overcome that is, to find clarity.

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Adrian Hanks: And then the 3rd word is hatred or self-hatred.

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Adrian Hanks: and the only way around that is to find love and self-love. So there are 3 major tenants in our spiritual path of anthropology to face every single day. So it's interesting. This idea of doubt has come up today in the podcast because it's 1 of the major things. I work with all my clients in the spiritual journey.

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Deborah Tyson: Fantastic. Okay, yeah, that's I think that's really good to hear. And so by normalizing those things as part of the journey, people aren't thinking when they experience self doubt or fear that they're wrong or bad, or you know they should be better. It's all part of the journey as well, and things that we need to look at and examine and find, as you said, if we're experiencing self-hatred to invite in more of that beautiful self, love.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, and nobody escapes this journey, like everybody at some point in their life, will face the fear. They'll face the doubt, and they're going to face self-hatred.

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Adrian Hanks: I don't know anybody that's exempt from that journey.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, that's that's an that's important, too, that yeah, exactly to know. I think that's sort of comforting. And it makes us realize how closely we are connected.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We're on the same journey at the end of the day. Really, we just find different pathways

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Adrian Hanks: on that journey. But the results always the same, you know it's inner peace, inner love, self-love, and loving others. I mean, that's that is the journey for all of us in essence.

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Deborah Tyson: Beautiful.

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Deborah Tyson: Exactly. And so where do you think that men get stuck on their journey.

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Adrian Hanks: Probably the simple answer. Deborah is not seeking support.

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Deborah Tyson: Right.

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Adrian Hanks: I think that's a key thing, particularly for men who don't reach out. They cover it up.

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Adrian Hanks: they they turn to substance often rather than dealing with their emotional issues. You know the drugs, the alcohol, the pornography, the the work, you know, workaholism. There's lots of escape

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Adrian Hanks: routes that one can take rather than facing what's really going on. And it does. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of vulnerability to ask for support, because we can do some things by ourselves.

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Adrian Hanks: Of course, you know we can read the books, and we can do some exercises, but

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Adrian Hanks: when we drop in and work, you know, with with a therapist, with a professional.

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Adrian Hanks: it takes it to another level. And we can really delve into the emotional issues. You know that financial stress. You know, the relationship stress, the lack of spiritual connection, and the biggest one I find with men is if men are not tuned into their vocational journey.

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Adrian Hanks: there's often a lot of stress around them.

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Adrian Hanks: often unconsciously, but subconsciously, they know that there's something more they want in life.

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Adrian Hanks: and often it is that spiritual connection or that vocational connection.

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Adrian Hanks: And it's a big part that's missing for for many men in their lives.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, they may be stuck in a job that they were put into as a child, or they're following their father's footsteps, etc. But in their soul. And we've mentioned this before, the soul is banging on on the door to get out and do something different.

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Adrian Hanks: And if we don't listen to that.

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Adrian Hanks: I think that's a lot of the problems that men have where they're stuck.

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Adrian Hanks: And then the emotion comes in, and the unhappiness and the depression, the anxiety based on them, not them not stepping into their true potential

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Adrian Hanks: from a vocational spiritual perspective.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, that's I. That's amazing. I couldn't agree more. So one of them, the 1st thing you said is not asking for support. So feeling like, maybe they're alone, or it's sinus strength to try to do it all by yourself, whereas really getting that support, reaching out, being vulnerable can be an act of strength in itself to to get that support for yourself. And the second thing is aligning with your soul's purpose or your

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Deborah Tyson: what you're really here to do, and then that gives you a great sense of fulfillment, and I agree with you, and then you're less likely to turn to substances to fill the void, or that sense of unhappiness, because your soul will give you a sense of unhappiness as you said that something's missing because it wants you to be aligned with your true purpose, and to do what you came here to do.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah. Yeah. So that's the 1st conversation, usually with, you know, with a client. If I'm sitting with a man and working with a man or a woman. But as we're talking about men here for men's health, it's

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Adrian Hanks: very important for the men to be able to identify, you know, where they are stuck, and to be able to share that with somebody professionally. And then, of course, once they can identify where they're stuck.

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Adrian Hanks: then the vision can come into play. So the desire and then the planning. And then, of course, the action stage comes in where we start to make the changes to bring that sole purpose in to bring that idea of self in in for the men in the work, so it can be quite

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Adrian Hanks: a relatively quick process. But generally it takes time to uncover each layer of the onion and to get deeper and deeper and do it. And you know, finding the courage having a bit of a plan. But first, st it's about knowing you know. What is it I'm meant to be doing on the planet. It's the ultimate question for many, many people.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense.

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Deborah Tyson: So what do you think the one thing that men can do that would immediately increase their self-confidence and overcome self-doubt.

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Adrian Hanks: One would be to get the support.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: Was that the answer to the 1st question?

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Adrian Hanks: But yeah, ask, I think, sitting and asking the question themselves, like sitting by themselves

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Adrian Hanks: because a lot of men do not take the time out to sit by themselves, you know. Sit.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, I usually say sit with a pen and paper.

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Adrian Hanks: you know. Go and sit somewhere quiet, and just ask the questions. You know. Who am I? What am I doing? Where am I going?

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Adrian Hanks: You know who's coming with me

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Adrian Hanks: and just asking those basic questions and doing a bit of journaling, a bit of writing, a bit of self reflection.

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Adrian Hanks: That's where it all begins in the self-reflection

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Adrian Hanks: cell phone.

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Adrian Hanks: Where where am I right now?

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Adrian Hanks: That's always always a question. Where am I right now? Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

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Adrian Hanks: and the other aspects of life. And when we can answer those questions to some degree.

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Adrian Hanks: then we can identify where it is, we need to support.

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Deborah Tyson: It just reminds me that you've said that Adrian does have a beautiful course on Lispot about men's health, and there's a module on each of those topics for men's spiritual, spiritual health, emotional, psychological, physical. It's a beautiful course. I would highly recommend that to anybody, just as you've mentioned. It reminded me of that.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah.

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Deborah Tyson: So.

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Adrian Hanks: And they can contact. They can find that on the Blisspot site

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, it's on on bliss spot. Make sure there's a link to go with the the podcast.

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Deborah Tyson: So

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Deborah Tyson: why do men need to do this work now at this time on the planet.

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Adrian Hanks: Oh.

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Adrian Hanks: I think right now, and I mean, you know, probably for the listeners and the watchers viewing in is the last 4 or 5 years on the planet of being

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Adrian Hanks: a really really tough time. For for most particularly people who

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Adrian Hanks: have a sense of

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Adrian Hanks: awakenedness, you know that they're sensing that they're they're here to do something on the planet. And the challenging times we've had, particularly the last 4 or 5 years have really

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Adrian Hanks: put people

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Adrian Hanks: into a place of anxiety.

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Adrian Hanks: the place of fear, you know the the, you know.

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Adrian Hanks: be a bit open about it. The propaganda machine that was out there pushing people backwards for the last 4 or 5 years, and holding people back and challenging people to be coerced a certain way

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Adrian Hanks: for those that were, if you like pushing against that a little bit. I think it's been a real real challenge, because

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Adrian Hanks: it was a very small community of people that actually, I think, saw through those veils.

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Adrian Hanks: and I imagine a lot of the viewers coming on the Blissbot now are part of those

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Adrian Hanks: people that saw that there was something else going on.

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Adrian Hanks: So a confusion set in.

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Adrian Hanks: There's a lot of confusion out there, Deborah. You know a lot of people I talk to. They don't know quite where they're going, where they've been. What actually happened like, wow! What was that? It was like waking up from a small nightmare

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Adrian Hanks: for many. And then, suddenly. Now people are sort of

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Adrian Hanks: back into their bodies or back into their mind, back into their souls and going.

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Adrian Hanks: Wow!

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Adrian Hanks: It's almost like pushing the the refresh button.

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Adrian Hanks: That's what I'm I'm seeing a lot of people now, myself included, who are having to do the correct reset. It's funny that that's what's being used as well and other means. But it is. It's about resetting

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Adrian Hanks: one's life physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even in relationships, in vocation, in work.

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Adrian Hanks: So a lot of people are

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Adrian Hanks: wondering, where do I begin?

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Adrian Hanks: And I think this is a confusion. Where does one begin to refresh one's life? To start again, particularly if you're in your fifties, or sixties or seventies, it seems daunting to start again.

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Adrian Hanks: And I think this is where a lot of people right now they get a sense that there needs to be a new beginning or a new start.

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Adrian Hanks: But where does one begin.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: A lot of confusion is sitting in a lot of people's. Well, it is because I talk to people about it all the time. Adrian, where do I begin? I want to start my life again.

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Deborah Tyson: Well, exactly, and I think to why men need to do this now to date. And this is quite serious. But at Blue Spot we do face serious topics as well

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Deborah Tyson: for men. There's been a lot of stigma. I think it's getting a lot better about mental health or reaching out for help, and one of Bliss Box Mission is to change that stigma, because if we had a broken arm we'd go and get help. But if we're feeling depressed or anxious. That is part of being human as well. And, as Adrian said, it's really important to get that support, and I think because men have often not felt comfortable with that.

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Deborah Tyson: Australia is a very, you would know, having lived here, Adrian, quite a very blokey

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Deborah Tyson: kind of environment, and

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Deborah Tyson: I think it is getting better for sure. But in the past it wasn't seen, you know. Men were teased if they were sensitive, or they had emotions.

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Deborah Tyson: and as there is not specifically, maybe, because of that. But the men's suicide rate is far higher than what it is for women, and I think it's very detrimental that they can't speak out and get the help. And it's just so sad when beautiful

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Deborah Tyson: lives are wasted, including for even teenagers, because they haven't had the support that they've needed. So this is a very serious topic. And

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Deborah Tyson: people.

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Deborah Tyson: that's why I think one of the reasons that people need to be aware that

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Deborah Tyson: it's okay to talk about

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Deborah Tyson: the help that you need and get the support that you need. Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, yeah, I always suggest that, you know, if

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Adrian Hanks: for men and women, if you know a man is not doing so well, mentally

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Adrian Hanks: or emotionally.

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Adrian Hanks: Please reach out to them, have a conversation with them, and direct them to a therapist. Direct them to a professional.

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Adrian Hanks: Even if it's a little bit edgy. It's going to take a little bit of courage.

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Adrian Hanks: because I know

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Adrian Hanks: if one doesn't do that.

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Adrian Hanks: and then that man does take his life.

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Adrian Hanks: It's a really hard thing to live with.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, and.

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Adrian Hanks: Suicide rate in Australia and across the world

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Adrian Hanks: is really high, and it's increased

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Adrian Hanks: dramatically. In the last 4 or 5 years I just was talking to a friend actually in Melbourne hadn't spoken to for quite a while. We had a conversation a few weeks ago, and I didn't know. She only told me, when we had the conversation on Zoom that her partner actually suicided 3 years ago, and it was during Covid, because he was so depressed because he was locked down. He couldn't move.

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Adrian Hanks: He'd had a holiday plan to go overseas to South America, couldn't go, and was all too much, and he suicided, and he was sort of a little bit older than I am now.

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Adrian Hanks: and it was quite shocking, and I know that's quite a common story.

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Adrian Hanks: You know, the men are suiciding. All ended up in, you know, on heavy medication for depression, anxiety. So this is as you say, it's a really serious topic.

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Adrian Hanks: really serious, because

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Adrian Hanks: for men to reach out and get the support

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Adrian Hanks: is is a challenge. But I would urge anybody that does know a man who's struggling to have a conversation with them, and then direct them to a professional, either myself or somebody else in the profession.

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Deborah Tyson: I think that's a very powerful message coming from a man.

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Deborah Tyson: But yeah, how important it is to reach out and just check in with our fellow, you know

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Deborah Tyson: men just check if we notice a difference. Women are quite intuitive, too, and I think it's important. We can be intuitive, but not act on it.

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Deborah Tyson: So it's important to act as well.

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Deborah Tyson: And I mean.

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Deborah Tyson: yeah, the best thing is, people go. They're okay. That's fine. It's better to have asked than to. Not not so what this is leading on to that question, but from that question, what is the cost of not changing? For men to themselves, their loved ones, and for their future like if they get stuck in a situation

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Deborah Tyson: and don't don't change, maybe follow that soul.

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Deborah Tyson: The the desire to both.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: I think one of the biggest costs that we men and women to some degree have is when we get those certain

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Adrian Hanks: time in our life, certain age in life. Then we regret not taking particular steps.

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Adrian Hanks: and I think when, as we mature as men, and I'm now just sort of entering into my 60, my 60 years and I'm 61 is.

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Adrian Hanks: if I reflect back and look at what I didn't do.

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Adrian Hanks: I think that can be a huge big burden for men, particularly as they get into their, you know, fifties, sixties, and beyond going, I didn't address my emotional needs. I didn't address my mental health

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Adrian Hanks: and and and I didn't achieve

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Adrian Hanks: what I know my soul could have achieved.

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Adrian Hanks: I think that's a huge big

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Adrian Hanks: burden for men to carry

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Adrian Hanks: the disappointment, I think, is huge. I've talked to a lot of men who feel disappointed because they didn't take the risk or the challenge.

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Adrian Hanks: or listen to the calling.

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Adrian Hanks: You know, many of us that are calling and not listening.

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Adrian Hanks: The regret, the disappointment

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Adrian Hanks: can be a huge, big mental.

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Adrian Hanks: an emotional impact on men

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Adrian Hanks: when they get to that point in life and go well, if only.

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Adrian Hanks: and I hear that a lot myself, if only.

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Deborah Tyson: Hmm.

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Adrian Hanks: In my refrain to use, that is.

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Adrian Hanks: it's still not too late to change things. That's.

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Deborah Tyson: Right, never too late. It's never.

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Adrian Hanks: Never too late. I've sat in men's circles with men in their, you know, seventies, a few in their eighties, and they've had profound changes

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Adrian Hanks: because they've had the support. They found the courage.

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Adrian Hanks: and they found the

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Adrian Hanks: the desire

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Adrian Hanks: to do something different. And they've made incredible changes in their lives, changed vocations in the seventies.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, go and become

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Adrian Hanks: that being that they know that they they could have become.

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Adrian Hanks: There's still some regret to some degree. I wish I'd have done it earlier, but at least they're doing it now.

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Deborah Tyson: Absolutely, it is

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Deborah Tyson: truly never too late. I also practice as a kinesiologist, and my oldest client that came to me was 91, and he said he just wanted his next 10 years to be as best as they possibly can be, and I just loved that. He didn't look 91 he looked like he was about 75, and

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Deborah Tyson: very inspirational as to your mindset, and how you can think about you know your remaining.

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Deborah Tyson: Yes, it's amazing.

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Adrian Hanks: I remember many years ago I was working with Dr. Iangola in Melbourne, and there's this beautiful lady there. We had Caroline Meese come to visit, and we had a

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Adrian Hanks: we had like a private workshop with Carolyn. There was a lady on the course. She was, I think she was 75 at the time.

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Adrian Hanks: and a volunteer, and she went off to America, where Carolyn and did Carolyn's training at the age of 75, which was, I thought was just quite incredible at that age to go and say, right, that's it. I'm ready for Caroline Meese's work now, and she became a facilitator for Carolyn's work in Melbourne at the age of, you know, 77. By the time she finished her training I thought that was, she was very inspirational for me as a sort of a young

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Adrian Hanks: mid twenties, you know. It's.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah.

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Deborah Tyson: for sure. Yeah, it's just never too late.

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Deborah Tyson: So what

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Deborah Tyson: what have you learned along the way for from your journey, Adrian.

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Adrian Hanks: Wow! We got about 4 h to.

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Deborah Tyson: Well, this is the second last question. Maybe.

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Adrian Hanks: You know, 4 h.

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Adrian Hanks: I'll keep it brief.

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Adrian Hanks: So probably to reflect back on some of the questions and answers we've had through the podcast is.

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Adrian Hanks: and I sort of give myself credit for this a little bit. I have had the courage and vulnerability to reach out to other men. I've got a few core men in my life that even just recently I've reached out to with a you know, some personal journey. I've just been on the last few months of moving to the Uk. Etc. Etc.

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Adrian Hanks: And having some life changes.

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Adrian Hanks: So I do make those calls. I do have my zoom calls. I do have my meeting and sit in circle men, and I think that's 1 of the key. Things I've learned

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Adrian Hanks: is to find that courage find that vulnerability.

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Adrian Hanks: you know. Talk about the shadow stuff that's going on for me inside, and also to keep the desire alive.

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Adrian Hanks: you know. Keep the desire alive. You know what is my desire today?

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Adrian Hanks: What do I want tomorrow? And then, keeping to aim for that, both physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

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Adrian Hanks: My desire to stay fit and healthy.

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Adrian Hanks: is paramount for me.

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Adrian Hanks: so I do. I've got a healthy lifestyle, a healthy diet I exercise, I run, I meditate.

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Adrian Hanks: and then, emotionally and mentally, I do everything I can to stay fit.

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Adrian Hanks: and then also follow my spiritual path.

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Adrian Hanks: So what I've learned is.

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Adrian Hanks: hold the desire and have the commitment

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Adrian Hanks: and have the support. They're the key. 3 things that I've I've learned over there

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Adrian Hanks: sort of last 40, 50 years. Sometimes, you know I've had. I've needed this sort of

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Adrian Hanks: you know the smack over the head to to stay to stay there, I've you know. Come, offline a little bit sometimes, but I've always managed to come back online

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Adrian Hanks: and stick with those 3 Key core principles. I think they're really important.

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Deborah Tyson: That's really really interesting. And I was going to say you said that you find having that support from other men having a men's circle. Was there a time in your life where you didn't have that? And now that you do have that support, how does that make you feel like, how does that support actually practically help you, or may help?

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Deborah Tyson: Have you changed because you've got the support.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, look, I've got to go back quite a long time, because I was quite lucky. Even as a teenager I had mentors.

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Deborah Tyson: Right, yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: It was sort of one of those I sort of had my 1st mentor when I was 10 or 11 years old in primary school, and then through my life I've had male mentors. But in terms of that deeper emotional support

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Adrian Hanks: that was

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Adrian Hanks: that probably came more in my

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Adrian Hanks: mid to late twenties when I started getting to my men's work, so there were a few gaps through my life where I didn't seek it. Maybe my ego got in the way. You know I can do this by myself, which is a trap for men, obviously, that I can do it by myself. Ego! So I have been caught in that trap a little bit. Also a little bit of shame

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Adrian Hanks: to be, you know, to be honest about where we're at here. Shame can be a big trap with men of

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Adrian Hanks: the shame of speaking about what's really going on.

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Adrian Hanks: Particularly, I just did a podcast recently about pornography with somebody and the shame of men who watch porn. For instance. Now to go to a therapist and say I have a porn addiction

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Adrian Hanks: from a shame. Perspective is a really hard one to step into.

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Adrian Hanks: so shame can deliberate us as well, and I've certainly been in a few places of shame in my life where I haven't reached out, and then finally found the courage and gone to my supports and said, Look, this is really hard for me, but I need to talk about it, because it's it's making me sick.

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Adrian Hanks: So yeah, so I think that's a big one. Deborah, is that

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Adrian Hanks: that shame? That from for myself has held me back, and the vulnerability and the ego. They're probably the key things.

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Deborah Tyson: And but then, when you have had that courage because it does take courage, I really applaud people for that to confront. Yeah, they're deeper issues, and everybody has shame around certain things. So

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Deborah Tyson: to do that, and then to talk to somebody about it. What was your experience after that, after you've done that.

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Adrian Hanks: So the key word that always comes to me is liberating.

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Deborah Tyson: Oh, I was relief! Is it a relief?

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Adrian Hanks: Liberating. Yeah, the relief is like, Wow, finally, I've.

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Deborah Tyson: Yes.

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Adrian Hanks: Let it out of my body. Let it out of my mind. Yeah, so it is liberating, it is empowering.

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Adrian Hanks: And also I've realized at the end of it

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Adrian Hanks: while I'm in it. Obviously, it's like, you know, the biggest fear I'm ever going to face is what's in my mind. But once I've spoken, it's like, actually.

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Adrian Hanks: that wasn't so bad. If the right person's on the other end, listening and supporting.

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Deborah Tyson: You got to choose the right support person. And I think that's listening to intuition, that that is very that can hold that safe space for you. Yeah.

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Adrian Hanks: And when one does that, and you find that safe person or persons.

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Adrian Hanks: then for myself and and for other people, they realize actually it wasn't so scary, after all.

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Adrian Hanks: It was okay, I feel heard.

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Adrian Hanks: And I think that's the important part is feeling heard.

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Deborah Tyson: Well, I find in therapy, to the only regret people have when they've held on to something a lot of time, because they've been

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Deborah Tyson: too frightened to talk about it, or they felt the shame around it. The only regret that they usually have is that they didn't do it sooner, you know they think. Oh, it wasn't so bad as you said. They've got it out of their body, the energetic fields becoming nice and clear again, and you're not carrying around that burden that often didn't even really belong to you in the 1st place. So I think, as Adrian says, it's just getting that support. Speaking about it in a trusted and safe

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Deborah Tyson: place, really can really even change the course of your life in some big situations. So it's worthwhile.

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Deborah Tyson: Yeah, it does.

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Adrian Hanks: And whether that change is just a subtle change, or whether it's monumental.

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Deborah Tyson: Hmm.

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Adrian Hanks: Still change and change is such an important part of our growth as human beings. For consciousness.

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Deborah Tyson: Absolutely

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Deborah Tyson: well. It's been so insightful as always, Adrian, but I've just got one last question is.

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Adrian Hanks: So.

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Deborah Tyson: Why do you do this work.

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Adrian Hanks: It's a really interesting one, and I'll be quite blunt and honest about it when

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Adrian Hanks: I sort of signed up, if you like, for the spiritual journey of

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Adrian Hanks: my anthroposophical journey and my spiritual work.

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Adrian Hanks: There was a moment when

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Adrian Hanks: you sort of have to declare why, you're stepping into that spiritual path. And I've

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Adrian Hanks: over the years I've come to the realization that it's my spiritual duty.

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Adrian Hanks: and that's the only way. Now I used to express it differently.

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Adrian Hanks: But these days

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Adrian Hanks: the calling for me to this work is.

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Adrian Hanks: it's

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Adrian Hanks: it's what I'm here to do.

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Adrian Hanks: It's my duty.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, my spiritual duty, and that's the word I use, and I used to use. It's my spiritual vocation. It's my spiritual path. But for me.

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Adrian Hanks: I feel like it's a duty for me

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Adrian Hanks: to impart. You know that wisdom, that experience, I have now to support others, to have a more conscious life.

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Adrian Hanks: you know.

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Adrian Hanks: shit.

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Deborah Tyson: And how does that make you feel doing this type of work.

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Adrian Hanks: Oh, vulnerable! There's a lot of vulnerability into it and

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Adrian Hanks: but it brings me joy.

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Adrian Hanks: you know, when when I just recently, I've just, you know, walking with somebody through the bush a couple of weeks ago by the Moors, just working one on one with this

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Adrian Hanks: this guy that I'm working with currently is like the joy

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Adrian Hanks: of seeing the change.

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Adrian Hanks: the joy of seeing him

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Adrian Hanks: get into his power, back into his stride, lifting the anxiety, lifting the depression, you know, coming off some of the medication.

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Adrian Hanks: It's it's the joy and of

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Adrian Hanks: experiencing somebody stepping into their truer potential.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, that's that's a reward for me. That's a joy for me.

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Deborah Tyson: Well, it's very open hearted work, isn't it? And very fulfilling, I can imagine.

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Adrian Hanks: Very fulfilling, very fulfilling.

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Deborah Tyson: Beautiful.

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Adrian Hanks: Those, and we enjoy just helping another human being getting closer to their

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Adrian Hanks: sense of true self and self-love. That's that's the key.

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Deborah Tyson: Well on that amazing, wonderful note we'll wrap it up for today. But thank you, Adrian, as always, I love talking with you. You have so much

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Deborah Tyson: heartfelt wisdom to share from your own experiences and studies, and I know how passionate and dedicated you are to this work. So it's a pleasure and an honor to have you as a Blissbot expert. And, as I mentioned before, Adrian's men's health course is available on Blissbot, and Adrian's work is part of the many men's programs that we serve on a daily basis. That's a new offering that we have.

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Deborah Tyson: And yeah. So thank you once again, Adrian. It's been a delight to spend this.

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Adrian Hanks: Yeah, always a pleasure, Deborah. Always a pleasure.