🎙️How to Get Your Spark Back & Feel Like Yourself Again (Especially in Transition)

🎧 About the Episode: 

In this episode of Behind the Cusp, we’re talking about something so many of us quietly experience but maybe don’t always know how to name: feeling disconnected from ourselves.

Maybe life has felt heavier lately. Maybe you’ve been in survival mode, going through the motions, carrying a lot, or realizing you don’t quite feel like… you.

This episode is an invitation to reconnect to yourself, to get your spark back.

I’m sharing simple shifts and practices that have been helping me feel more energized, grounded, inspired, and like myself again. From movement and nourishment to sleep, boundaries, getting outside, and returning to the things that bring life back into my everyday. My goal is to inspire you to return to those things wherever you're at right now.

Sometimes your spark isn’t gone, it’s just buried underneath stress, overstimulation, responsibility, exhaustion... the list goes on.

If you’ve been feeling off lately, I hope this episode reminds you that coming back to yourself doesn’t have to happen all at once.

Sometimes it starts with one small thing.

🎙️ Connect with me:
Instagram: @stylecusp @behindthecusp
Tiktok: @stylecusp @behindthecusp

Subscribe, rate, and share the show if you feel aligned. These all go such a long way in supporting the show! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Behind the Cusp, a podcast diving deep into the layers of self-growth, inner work, and transformation. I'm your host, Marissa Mead, and after 15 years as a digital creator, I'm sharing my raw, unfiltered journey of healing and self-discovery to walk alongside you in yours. Together, we'll dive deep into the conversations that matter most, uncovering what it means to truly evolve from the inside out. This is where you elevate into transformation. So take a breath, settle in, and let's begin. And you guys, we are two for two here. If you missed last week's episode about transition, I was just really walking through how much transition has been happening in the last six months, but then also talking about life transitions in general. And in that episode, I committed to doing one episode a week for the next 90 days. And I have to say that just sitting down here in front of the mic in my chair here to record is a big win because it's a moment of keeping the promise, keeping the commitment that I made to myself. And when we do that, no matter what it is, we are building little moments of trust with ourself. And trust is like a foundation, right? You put one block down, then you put another block down, then you put another block down. And when you build that foundation strong, it can withstand more. And so I'm just building block by block the strong foundation of trust and the overall commitment that I'm making to not just myself but you here to show up every week to pour out, I guess, a message, if you want to call it that, is kind of brewing and just stay committed to the direction I feel that my soul is really calling me in. And I'm really excited to be in this place. So I felt like today was really fitting to follow up last week's episode about transition with talking about how I'm getting my spark back and feeling like myself again in this phase. And ultimately, I want this to inspire you wherever you're at in your journey, if you're going through a transition or if you're not and you're feeling like everything's good, those transitions are absolutely inevitable, and they absolutely will come, trust me. Then maybe you can keep this in your back pocket for a rainy day, so to speak, when you are feeling like you're losing yourself in the transition of some phase of life. And so this episode isn't going to be about totally reinventing yourself or who you have to become or anything like that, or completely changing or overhauling your life. It's really about reconnecting to you. Whether you are in the depths of the transition, maybe you're on the other side of it, maybe you're just starting it, how can you stay connected to yourself if you've lost yourself in transition in any way, shape, or form? This is about reconnecting. And after the season that I have been in of transition and overwhelm, depletion, feeling very disconnected from myself, I know there are little small things that really ultimately end up being big things that bring me back to me. And so I'm gonna share those with you today. And maybe you can take a few, implement them, and maybe these things will jog your memory or bring something to mind that you can do to return to or reconnect with who you are right now in your life. And so this is really not going to be a crazy long episode. I don't think that's I was like planning for maybe 20 minutes today, but it's gonna be a short practical conversation and sharing what I'm doing, what's helping me, what's helping me reconnect, what's helping me feel more energized, grounded, inspired, creative, less fight or flight mode, less overwhelm, less exhaustion, less stress, less anxiety, and more like myself. So last week, like I said, I shared a really vulnerable episode about transition. And by vulnerable, I mean yes, I was opening up about where I'm at in life right now, but also vulnerable in reaching you guys. I was so touched by those of you who reached out and just shared that you're in that same place of life, or acknowledging that I had some friends or people close to me that reached out, just acknowledging, like, wow, like Marissa, you really have walked through a lot. And so, in that, I just want to take a second to say if you are going through a big time in your life in any way, shape, or form, to lean into the people that are close to you because you need them. You need the people around you to support you and to love you and to love on you when you are walking through transition. And so here I am a week later. And while I cannot say I'm fully on the other side of everything in transition, I have definitely felt a shift in the last, I would say, two-ish weeks. I think that has a lot to do with a lot of things, namely a lot of the things I'm gonna talk about in today's episode. But I am starting to just notice the shift happening. I feel the shift happening, I can see the shift happening from, and I'm just being really intentional about little moments that help me feel like me again. And not because I decided to shift everything or change everything overnight. There wasn't this big, huge aha, like I'm changing everything moment, because honestly, I don't think that I would be able to do that. I'm not in a place where I can handle more change, so to speak. But because the simple things, returning to the simple things, remind me who I am. They remind me of the woman that I want to be, the woman that I want to become, the highest best version of myself. And so this episode isn't a formula, it's not one plus one equals two, it's not do these five things and get XYZ. It's just the things that are helping me reconnect with myself to recalibrate and to reposition me where I want to be. And so I hope that this inspires you. I hope that this maybe gives you a little encouragement. Or even if you're not going through a transition right now, I hope that some of these things maybe give you some encouragement to get back to a part of you that you feel like you're disconnected from, regardless. So, number one, I feel like this is probably so obvious, but movement. Ladies, we need movement in our lives. Whether that's walking, Pilates, hot Pilates, hitting the gym, doing a sculpt workout at home. If you love at-home workouts, the sculpt society is amazing. I love, love what Megan has created with that. It's an incredible program. But movement can even be stretching, yoga, whatever it is, just moving your body. Because when you move your body, you are shifting energy. And that sounds stupid, like, oh yeah, Marissa, of course you are. If you get up and walk, but that I'm not talking about energy in your appearance where oh yeah, we're doing this to look better or lose weight. We're doing this to shift the energy of the overwhelm, of the fight or flight, of the stagnant, whatever that type of energy is, the movement is going to help to shift that. And so it doesn't need to be for three hours a day. It can literally be a 20-minute walk around the block. When you commit to movement, you are bringing movement and action and forwardness back into your life. And when you feel paralyzed in change or stagnant in something, that movement is going to be everything. And so the last two weeks, I have committed to my movement again. I was so sporadic with my workouts. I wasn't really walking for the last honestly, like two months. I went on a few walks here and there. I was doing my two Pilates classes a week, but that wasn't enough for me. I have so much change happening right now that just those two moments of movement a week aren't really enough to sustain the volume, if you will, of that energy. And so I needed to get moving every single day. And so I've recommitted to that. And I am proud to say that I have moved my body in some way every single day for the last two weeks. Whether that was just a walk or if it's a walk plus a gym workout and or a walk plus a Pilates workout or a walk and a run in the middle of it, like whatever it is, I've committed to it, and I feel so much better. I feel like when I'm walking, it really creates this mental space for me. And I don't think that that's just something that's isolated to me. I think that there's probably some sort of scientific thing behind it. And it I know that it has to do with movement changes energy, but it's like when you rot on the couch for a day, like maybe that feels good in that moment for a day, but at some point you're like, okay, I've got to get up and get moving. You know, just that movement, it reminds you that you are alive, it reminds you that things can move and they can change and they can be different. And I think that metaphorical, if you will, reminder is important when you feel stagnant in transition. Okay, so number two is nourishment, and this is a huge one because for me personally, when I get really stressed or overwhelmed or have a lot going on in life, the first two things out the door are my activity and also my eating habits. I have really good eating habits overall. I would say that I follow an 80-20, 90-10, even sometimes kind of rule. I really don't drink a lot of alcohol. I limit caffeine, like all the like quote buzzy things to like do. You know, however, that is how I feel my best. So whether they're like a buzzy thing to do or not, that's how I feel my best. But as soon as I'm feeling overwhelmed or stressed, that kind of derails, and I more or less go for convenience or like comfort foods because I think that's what I am thinking is going to make me feel good, and newsflash, it doesn't. So there would be times when I would literally eat like crackers for dinner, literally a bag of chips, or just snacking on random things that weren't even good, like buying processed foods that I wouldn't normally buy, you know. And overall, I wasn't like not eating, it just was I was not eating the best things, the things that made me feel my best, that fueled my body, that gave me energy, that allowed for you know recovery. Because you guys, when you're going through a lot of transition and change, your body is going through so much stress that you need to support it with the food and the hydration and everything that you are putting in. And so if you're putting trash in, you're gonna get trash out, right? So it's only going to affect your energy, your sleep, which ultimately affects your hormones, which ultimately then affects your skin, and then you're gonna feel terrible about the breakout, and then it's just this whole perpetual cycle. And so as soon as my movement goes out the window and my nourishment goes out the window, then I start feeling bad about myself or how I look or how I feel or whatever, and it's just this circle, right? We've all been there, maybe you are there, and so right now I'm prioritizing choosing the foods that make me feel good, and that includes making sure that I'm eating enough protein because if I don't have protein at a meal, I truly crash. I need the protein, whole foods, and by whole foods I mean fruits, vegetables, you know, sweet potatoes, like dense, hardy carbs that are good for you, not empty carbs. These are the things that are supporting my energy, they're supporting my hormones, and when your body's under a lot of stress, your nervous system is tapped or zapped, you need to nourish your hormones, your energy, your sleep cycle, all of that to feel good. So, food isn't something that's going to fix you. Food is something that is going to support you, it's going to support your body in the change, in the transition, so that you can show up healthy and well and connected to you. And so, what I want you to think about with the food is what foods make you feel energized? What foods make you feel supported? What foods make you feel like the best version of you? And go get those right now. Number three is sleep. And you're probably like Marissa Duh, we all need sleep, but when you are going through transition and change, your body mentally gets so depleted, and you need more sleep. We as a women need way more sleep than men to begin with, like an hour or two per night. Couple that on with adding in more change, transition, overwhelm, whatever in life, and you are immediately adding on, probably needing another hour. And so there have been nights in the last couple of months where I have slept nine hours, and I wake up feeling like rested, but also like I need more because sometimes the sleep isn't as much recharging you physically as it is mentally. That mental exhaustion, that feeling like you have all the tabs going at all times, kind of thing in your head, is real, and the sleep helps you recover from it. And while you are sleeping, your body is recovering on a cellular level. It's recovering mind, body, spirit, all of the components and the ways that we operate, our bodies recover while we sleep. When we are overwhelmed or in transition, we need to give ourselves ample time to recover so that we can face the next day. And I think the hardest part here, you guys, is, and I totally acknowledge this because this has been something that I've struggled with deeply in the last six months, is literally just being able to fall asleep. I feel like I can't shut my brain off. I'm laying there thinking about a million things, or what I didn't actually get done that day, or how much more I have to do, or oh, I forgot to send this or text that person back or whatever. And I really was feeling like I wasn't giving myself enough one credit for what I did do, and then I was beating myself up at night about it in bed, or laying there thinking about all what I still had to do, and then it was cutting into my sleep time, and I would sleep six and a half or seven hours a night, and that was not cutting it for me. I might as well not sleep at all if I only sleep less than seven hours in a night. I do think that getting the aura ring has been really helpful for me with noticing and picking up on like my sleep patterns because I am able to track it, and that's really interesting for me to see. Um, but sleep, getting sleep, and so this last week I looked at my aura ring average and it was seven and a half hours. Last night I slept eight hours and 15 minutes, and so we're heading in the right direction with the sleep, and that is definitely key. So getting good sleep because then ultimately it's like you see when you're tired or drained or whatever, it shows up on your body physically, right? And so that sleep is so important. Number four, and this one is really something I've noticed in the last probably two or three weeks, or I would say become really hyper-aware of, and that's protecting my energy. Who is draining my energy? Who is preserving my energy, or who is recharging my energy? And so I've had to ask myself, like, who does that mean I put myself around? You know, who do I want to be around? What people light me up or refill my cup, and then what people do I feel drained by, whether I'm physically around them or even having a text conversation or a phone call or a voice note or even following on social media. I have done so much unfollowing on social media because one, I just don't want to see somebody's content, I'm not inspired by it, it's not the direction that I'm personally or professionally wanting to intake or the place that I'm headed in, you know, and so I've had to draw boundaries essentially to protect my energy and say no to what I'm allowing in. Because if I want to elevate right now or return to myself or connect with myself, the things that are external that are providing static, if you will, or that are draining me in general, I can't have them in. And so I've become really hyper aware of that. And I even have had friends or people text me or message me or say something, and even if it's of the negative nature, I try to flip the script or even frame my response to be one that is positive instead of negative because I can't sit in the negativity or the negative energy right now. And I personally am doing so much work on myself to create the reality that I want, to envision the reality that I want. Our beliefs create our reality, our beliefs determine our thoughts, our thoughts determine our actions, and our actions determine the result that we get. And so if we are sitting in the belief that something is negative, bad, horrible, whatever, or even in taking that from other people, what is it causing us to have the results of in our life? And this is something that one of my friends actually was like really encouraging me on in the last probably two months. And I honestly was really resistant to it at first. I was like, yeah, no, I'm not creating all this chaos or I'm not creating this stuff or whatever. And then I really had to look in the mirror and take a second and be real with myself. Where am I focusing my energy? Am I focusing my energy on all of the bad or negative things? And is that what I'm actually creating? Am I creating this reality for myself in certain areas? And how can I shift that? And so protecting my energy has been huge in the last couple of weeks. And as I am working to shift my energy, I'm protecting it from the things, people, places, messages, you know, reels, whatever it is, that is not something that is pouring into the direction that I want to go. Number five. Returning to things that feel like me. And this has a lot to do with analog things. I feel like this is a trend that we've seen, like people have their analog bag or their analog activities or whatever, and really it's just living life outside of your nose and your phone or your computer or headphones or whatever. It's really just normal life. It's how we grew up if you're a 90s kid. It's being mindful of what you're doing during the day. And so I think about the things that I loved to do when I was little. I loved to read. My mom would take us to the library, we would get a huge stack of books, and I would be done reading my entire stack of books within two or three days. And I loved reading those Nancy Drew, or I think it was like the Boxcar Children, or there was another series similar to that. And I read them all like a hundred and whatever books in the Nancy Drew series. When a new one came out, we would go get it, you know. I loved to read, and so I Want to read more, and when I get into reading or I get into a book, I can't put it down. I want to finish it, I want to read it, you know. And so yesterday on my morning walk, I actually ordered four books, and they were from different people that I was listening to a podcast episode with. One was from the boss babe, uh, Natalie. She had a guest on, and I can't remember her name, but I bought her book, and then somebody that the Boss Sticks had on their podcast, I bought all three of her books, and I'm gonna read them this summer, and that's not just the only books I'm gonna read. I have more that I want to read, but returning to the things that feel like me and reading is absolutely one. Another couple things are playing music, playing music in the house, and not just any music, but music that's intentional and uplifting and high vibe and high frequency. I literally go into my Spotify and I type in manifestation frequencies and I have that in the background all day while I'm working, while I'm cooking, whatever's happening, I have it on because that is the energy and vibe that I want to create. And I love listening to music, but it also has to be something that I feel is pouring into me. I can't listen to, you know, rap or RB when I'm trying to work, you know. Maybe some people can, but that's not what I can do. And so I'm filling my space with that, and that makes me feel uplifted. That makes me feel like me, it makes me feel energized, creative, you know, etc. The other things are cooking, I love cooking, and this one also goes back to the nourishment thing. I love cooking, I love creating a meal, I love cooking for other people, I love hosting, I love sharing in my home, and so those are things that I am returning to doing, and the cooking is also nourishing to my body because it's a healthy, good, you know, nutrient-dense meal. Old hobbies that I had, I loved crafting, I love writing and journaling and just writing. That's why I started my blog in the first place. So I'm getting back into that. Yesterday I sat down and journaled in the morning and it was so freeing. I'm like, why am I why do I get away from this? You know, the crafty things. Uh, I've been making necklaces, I've been making keychains, I've been, Derek and I love going shelling. That is something that is so disconnected. I don't even bring my phone when we go. And we are just basically grounding for two and a half or three hours, however long we're on the beach. We are shelling, we're looking for not just a little whatever, like we know all the shells in Florida and the rare ones and this and that. We've got a list, and I love doing that. So these things that make me feel like me, that are disconnected from the outside world, our technology, our phones, whatever, whatever those are for you. You know, coloring is another good one. Painting, uh, needlepoint stitching, playing games, cards, board games, mahjong, or however the heck you say it, is so popular right now. I've been wanting to get into that for like a year, and so I'm like, this summer I'm gonna do it. I actually just had a brand reach out and they wanted to send me a bunch of stuff, and I'm like, yes, send it to me. I want to learn how to play. Send me the board, the bag, da da da da, whatever. And so returning to those things, I like to bucket them under the analog things. And I just named a ton of different ones, and hopefully that jogs your memory or encourage you to find something in your analog loving 90s kid heart to return to something that you love to do. And I want to remind you guys that getting your spark back, what this whole episode is for, isn't about becoming someone new. It's remembering who you already are. And so when you get deep and remember those things that you really love and you return to doing them, you're reconnecting with a part of you that you're really disconnected from right now. The other one is number six, and this is kind of loose. I hate ending on like a weird, odd number five or ten list sounds good, but we're gonna do number six and then wrap this episode up because we are a little over that 20-minute mark that I wanted to stay in, but that's okay. Is boundaries having boundaries with my work, having boundaries with my time, having boundaries with other people, realizing I don't need to explain. No is a perfect enough answer. I don't have to pick up my phone in that second to answer that phone call, or I don't have to go answer that email or that text right now. I can have a boundary around my time, whether it's time that I want off my phone, time that my boyfriend and I are spending together, time in the morning that I don't want to just pick up my phone and be available right when I wake up. I have boundaries around that, and I'm keeping those tight right now because when we are too loose with all of that, we can feel really spread thin or pulled in a lot of directions. And I want to be fully present to whatever I'm doing in that moment and having strong boundaries around it. And that includes the boundaries with people, like I said before, choosing people intentionally, making sure that I'm surrounding myself with encouraging, positive, uplifting people right now and having a boundary with and recognizing who might drain my energy right now. I need to be plugged into, not drained from, if that makes sense. And so my energy, whether it's that physical energy, that mental energy, it deserves the same level of care that I'm giving everything else. And so we might think it's really easy to get in a little movement of the day and eat a healthy meal and then have our fun little activity or whatever, you know, our family time, whatever it is. But we also need to remember that preserving our own energy is just as important as the rest of those things. And so, in closing, as we wrap up this episode of getting our spark back in transition, it's a reminder that it's not one big breakthrough. It's not this aha moment or this one day where just snap everything suddenly changes and you're back to yourself. It's the little moments in between. It's the little choices that we make. It's the intentional decisions that we have. It's not waking up one day and suddenly feeling super healed and inspired, energized, or completely yourself again. It's a little bit quieter than that. It's choosing yourself in small ways over and over again. It's going on the 20-minute walk. It's drinking the water or the club soda instead of the glass of wine that you know is going to tip you over the edge into anxiety. It's calling the friend, it's asking them how they are, and it's being honest and vulnerable with where you are. It might be turning your phone off, going to bed a little bit earlier, opting to read a book instead of watching that mindless show. Do one thing today that feels like you. And then every day forward, you can look around and realize all the little bricks that you are putting in the foundation of rebuilding who you are are becoming stronger and stronger and stronger because they are supported by all of the ones next to them. You'll look around one day and realize you are laughing more, you feel lighter, you have ideas again, you feel creative again, you feel present to your own life again, and really your spark was never gone. It was just buried beneath all of the stress, all of the overwhelm, the responsibility, the transition, the expectation, and the exhaustion. And so maybe you don't need a whole new life to find it. You don't need to become someone new. You just need to come back to yourself. So on that note, find something this week that you can come back to you for. And I will see you guys next week. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Behind the Cusp. If you love this episode, I'd so appreciate it if you'd rate, review, or share it with someone else who's also on their path of self-growth. These all go such a long way in supporting the show. Be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find me over on Instagram at StyleCusp and follow the show Behind the Cusp. And as always, keep tuning inward. True transformation begins from the inside out.