🎙️Sitting with Uncertainty: Learning to Live Without All the Answers

🎧 About the Episode: 
There’s so much pressure to know.

To know what’s next. To know if you’re making the right decisions. To know where you’re headed, what you want, and how it’s all supposed to unfold.

But what if uncertainty isn’t a sign that something is wrong?

In this short episode, I’m talking about what it feels like to sit with uncertainty instead of rushing to solve it. Why we treat not knowing like failure, how our need for answers can create more pressure than peace, and the quiet practice of trusting life before everything makes sense.

If you’ve been feeling in-between, overwhelmed by decisions, or frustrated that clarity hasn’t arrived yet, this conversation is for you.

Maybe you don’t need to know yet.
Maybe you just need to stay open long enough to see what unfolds.

🎙️ Connect with me:
Instagram: @stylecusp @behindthecusp
Tiktok: @stylecusp @behindthecusp

Subscribe, rate, and share the show if you feel aligned. These all go such a long way in supporting the show! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Behind the Cusp, a podcast diving deep into the layers of self-growth, inner work, and transformation. I'm your host, Marissa Mead, and after 15 years as a digital creator, I'm sharing my raw, unfiltered journey of healing and self-discovery to walk alongside you in yours. Together, we'll dive deep into the conversations that matter most, uncovering what it means to truly evolve from the inside out. This is where you elevate into transformation. So take a breath, settle in, and let's begin. And we are three for three so far. I am actually feeling so good. This last week, especially, I've been on the up and up the last couple weeks as I was sharing with you guys, but this last week I'm just feeling so energized, inspired, creative. And if you have been in any type of change, transition, whatever in your life lately too, I hope that you are getting a little dose of encouragement, getting your spark back through maybe listening to these episodes and just returning to the things that you love and that light you up again, and you are feeling better too. So the tides have shifted. Also, happy summer. It is officially summer as of Sunday. We entered the June solstice, which just marks the new season ahead, and I'm a summer girl through and through. Even though I live in Florida in the winter and spring months, I think there's something so magical and nostalgic when summer starts. I am from New England, as you guys know, and so summer, there's just this air and energy in summer that is so tangible when you live in New England. And speaking of New England, I'm heading back to Connecticut for the summer this coming Monday. So I only have a few days left here in Naples for the season, and then I will be in Connecticut, and we've got a lot of big things and moving parts and all the crazy fun things happening, which we'll dive into later on. So this week is ping pong bananas. We have Amazon Prime sale. I have a lot of partnerships that I'm doing this week, which I'm really excited about. And some of them have partners that I've had on my dream brand list for a long time, and that I'm finally getting to work with, which is really exciting. My sister flies in on Friday, and then I am spending the weekend with her, gonna try to enjoy and relax and all the things, but also pack up and get my car shipped and all that before heading to Connecticut. So there's a lot of moving parts happening right now, and things are moving very quickly, and so we are just rolling with the punches here. So let's dive right into today's episode, shall we? And what I wanted to chat with you guys about today is the topic of uncertainty, and basically this whole energy around I don't know or I don't know yet whether it's your next move in life, decision, career, relationship, family, having kids, having more kids, a career change, a career pivot, friendships, moving, traveling, parents, families. There is a million dynamics that this could relate to, but the uncertainty in general is what I wanted to chat with you guys about and allowing ourselves to be okay in and with uncertainty. This is by no means something that I have mastered. In fact, I feel as if I'm sitting in a lot of uncertainty right now in my own life and learning this lesson or relearning it, if you will. So I wanted to chat about it, especially as we have been talking about transition and change and maybe losing ourselves in transition or losing our spark and finding our spark and getting back to that. And now it's this whole topic of uncertainty because when you're in transition and you're in change, there is a lot of uncertainty that you feel, and it can be heavy, scary. You may feel lost, you may feel overwhelmed, you may feel pressure. And I realize that I think that we may be uncomfortable with uncertainty because there's so much pressure to know. At every stage of our life, we're asked, you know, what are you doing for this? What are you doing for that? You're graduating high school and you're asked, where are you going to school? As if you are expected to be doing that. You're in college, what is your major? You're graduating college, what are you doing for work? You get a job, you know, when are you getting married? Where are you moving once you're married? Are you having kids? There's always this pressure of the next step to know, to have the answer, to have the direction. And to put it plainly, we don't know what's next. We don't always have the answer. We don't know and that's okay. But there's this pressure that surrounds knowing what's next, what decision to make, what direction to go in, and what you want, where you're headed, when. And so I think somewhere along the way, we started treating uncertainty like a problem instead of a normal part of being human. Let me say that really quick again, because it might need to hit some of you the second time. Somewhere along the way, we started treating uncertainty like a problem instead of a normal part of being human. And so today, wherever you are listening to this episode, if you are feeling uncertain about any area or next step or next phase of your life, I want you to know that it is okay. And let's be okay in the uncertainty. That's what we're gonna talk about today. And I'm excited to talk about this because I'm in several very uncertain phases and places of my life, and this is a reminder that I need as much as you guys, and we're walking through it together. Alright, so let's talk about it. There is this obsession with certainty, like I was just saying before, about knowing the next step, and I think it's because we think that certainty creates safety, it creates safety around our plans, our direction. And here's the thing: we can have everything planned out, but life is going to life and happen and throw things our way all of the time. Maybe big things, maybe little things. You might have your world flipped upside down, you might have good things, bad things, whatever happen. And so certainty isn't really ever there, right? We may think we know what's happening, but the certainty is actually just as uncertain as uncertainty. The certainty does not create safety. We also want answers because answers make us feel like we are in control. And the fact of the matter is we are also never in control. When we don't know, when we're sitting in uncertainty, we immediately assume or feel that we're behind. Maybe we even compare ourselves to people around us. We hop on social media and see the highlight reel of someone else's life: a friend, a creator, an influencer, someone we look up to, a celebrity. And then it's like the spiral of doom continues even further, and we perpetuate the cycle of uncertainty. Our insecurity of uncertainty is validated when we see other people in what we think is certainty. And that is where we have to stop the cycle. I think that we mistake uncertainty for failure when sometimes it's just life still unfolding or life still becoming visible, or our life in a huge period of transition and things are still working or ironing themselves out. As I shared with you guys, I've been in this major phase of transition and change and uncertainty really in the last months of my life, and it's been so hard to sit in. But also now that I'm kind of walking through the initial, I would say, depth and shock of a lot of the different situations and just navigating it all better, I am feeling more comfortable in the uncertainty because I see actually that there are things moving and are things happening and aligning and working their way out for me. And so the uncertainty isn't failure, it's just life still unfolding, it's still becoming visible. And so rather than rushing through the uncertainty or forcing it away or grasping for an answer or overthinking into the spiral of anxiety, let's sit in our uncertainty. Before we talk about sitting in uncertainty, I want to talk about what happens when we force clarity through our uncertainty. Because uncertainty is not something that you can rush through or push yourself to find an answer. You have to allow yourself to be led. And sometimes sitting in the unknown and sitting in the uncertainty, it might be days, it might be weeks, it might even be months, is necessary for us to arrive to the answer. Because a lot of times the answer is not just a one-track thing, right? There's so many different things that we are faced with uncertainty in, like I was saying before, but relationships, where to live, career, uh, parenthood, taking care of our own parents. A lot of us are coming in the age in our late 30s, 40s, and pushy. Once you're pushing into your 50s, like you're caring for your parents. That's also a big thing. Identity shifts, timing of life, um, career shifts. And when we rush, when we grasp for answers, when we overthink into the anxiety, we are forcing something that's just not ready yet. We don't want to make decisions from anxiety or overwhelm. We want to make them from truth, from intuition, from knowing, from the little nudges that we get or the breadcrumbs that are placed in our path. I was literally talking about this the other day with a friend, and we've had this conversation many times before, but I was sharing with her just like where I'm at with some different things in my life and my career and where I feel I'm being led right now and pivoting my path, but I don't really know what that fully looks like yet, what the full expression of the pivot looks like, and I know what I want to be doing, I see this vision of myself and what I'm creating, but I don't really know how to get there, and so I'm in this place of uncertainty that I'm sitting in, and the only thing that I know to do is to follow the breadcrumbs of where I'm being led. And I can tell you that when I started aligning myself with and stepping in and sitting in the frequency of abundance and excitement and alignment for what I want to create, little breadcrumbs started coming in my path. Little things like signing up for a call with someone that I really admire and following different people who are engaging in or encouraging the type of content or path that I want to create. Signing up for a course and learning something totally new, being creative and in my own energy and disconnected from my phone. These little breadcrumbs are things that are put in my path. And instead of looking at them like, oh, that's not really gonna help me right now, or I already know all of the content on this call, I'm just not gonna go to it. I've sat in those places to ignite something from that breadcrumb in front of me because who knows where it's gonna lead? Who knows what download I'm gonna get? Who knows where I might be led or who I might be connected to, right? And so those breadcrumbs are important to follow when you're in a place of uncertainty. They're going to lead you to the full knowing, if you will. Another thing is looking for certainty outside of ourselves. We oftentimes look for validation way outside of ourselves, in other people, in their opinions, in their style, in their um aesthetic. We look at other people or want answers outside of us. When in reality, when we're sitting in uncertainty, the only place that we are going to find that is from within. And that comes from knowing yourself, listening to yourself, sitting with yourself, being comfortable with yourself. And that can be a whole other episode. I know I've been talking about that a little bit lately, even on social, just trusting yourself and the relationship you have with yourself. So I'm gonna put that on my list of little topics to chat about because I think that would be a good one to expand on into in the episode. But okay, and then another thing when we force clarity through uncertainty is we choose things that feel one, like a safe option, or two, we rush a decision or we choose an answer or we choose a path because choosing something feels safer to us, or our nervous system, or our emotions than staying open and staying in the unknown. And I know we've all been there in life. I know I have been. I'm sure you can think of a situation or a scenario, big or small, in your life where you rushed a decision or rushed getting an answer just to close the door of uncertainty. Jog your memory, jog your brain, think about it, and then think about how that feels even in your body when you rush that decision. It doesn't feel good, does it? I know I always feel this like clammy, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach when I rush something like that and I try to push it away and just be like, oh no, it's gonna be fine, you know? And so sometimes the pressure to know or have the answer creates more confusion in us long term than sitting in the uncertainty itself, because we end up having to undo that choice or that rushing or that escaping of sitting in the uncertainty. And so as we think about uncertainty, wherever you're at in your life with an uncertain scenario, I feel like I've said the word uncertainty a thousand times already in this episode, but whatever, it's about uncertainty. So I guess that's okay. Let's talk about what we can practice instead. So when we force clarity, we really are trying to escape uncertainty. And this is where the challenge or the rise into transformation for us begins. You can change how you move through your uncertainty starting today. And so, right now, in my own uncertainty, here are some things that I am practicing and I'm doing instead of rushing through the uncertainty. And first is realizing that uncertainty is actually good, especially when you're in transition and change, because it puts us into this realm of possibility where every outcome is available. You realize that you aren't tied to or married to one outcome. You have the entire world of outcomes at your fingertips or in your realm of possibility when uncertainty is there. And you can choose which path you want. When I'm in a path of uncertainty, I think of like all the realms of reality exist. Which one do I want? Do I wanna have the reality where my life is hard and I'm sad and things suck right now? Or do I want to have a reality where I am this uber successful, driven, growing influencer? Or do I want to have this reality where I am a mega podcaster and you know speaker? Or do I want to have this reality where I am coaching women? Which reality do I want? And when you're sitting in uncertainty, you realize they're all available to you. They're all right there. And you can sit in the discomfort until the path that's for you makes itself known. Uncertainty is also good because your future isn't fixed. And even if you are in a place right now where you have so many different things that are certain, like the family, the house, the kids, the car, the relationship, the dream job, the this, the that, like your future isn't fixed. You may have just moved into what you would say is your dream home, and then you realize actually this isn't my dream home. You can change it. Your future isn't fixed. Nothing is set in stone and has to be a certain way. Uncertainty is also good because new things can still emerge. New things can come in and totally shake up your world, shake up your direction. When you are in this season of uncertainty, there might be a total left curveball that comes in and just completely illuminates in an area of your life that you had no idea was even possible for you. And uncertainty is also good because you're not locked into one version of life. You can change and choose and course correct and and go back or go forward or go right or go left anytime that you want. What uncertainty does is it asks us to sit with ourselves. It asks us to sit in the discomfort of the unknown. And when you're sitting there, I want to challenge you to ask yourself: can I stay with myself even when I don't know? Can I trust myself to respond to whatever comes? You might be sitting in a season of uncertainty for several weeks or even months and feeling like no answers are coming. You know, you feel this depth of despair, if you will. And then suddenly, like I said before, five different left curve balls come flying in and you have all these possibilities are illuminated. Are you gonna be willing to wait for them? Are you going to rush to something because you don't want to sit in the uncertainty instead of waiting for the absolute magical thing to arrive? The pressure to know in our own world has created this sense of failure around uncertainty. But truthfully, uncertainty isn't always the absence of direction, it's not the absence of maturity, it's not the absence of your own knowledge or who you are or the work that you've done in your life, whether it's, you know, from a career standpoint or emotional or mental or whatever. Sometimes uncertainty is the place where your life gets to surprise you, it gets to put you in a place that you never thought you'd otherwise be in. It's where possibility lives, it's where the magic happens. And your uncertainty is your space for your own personal reflection. And so while you are sitting in your own personal reflection, here are some things that I challenge you to allow in your life. Let things remain unanswered. Realize that it's okay to not have an answer. Days might go by and if you still don't have an answer, and that's okay. What you can do is return to what's true for you today. Pick one thing. I shared with you guys last week things that I'm doing to get my spark back right now, and I'm returning to the things that I know make me feel. Feel alive and sharing them with you so that you can also go and implement them in. But literally, something as simple as returning to a daily walk or a movement practice or nourishing foods or whatever, those are the things that can feel true for you when you're in a moment of uncertainty. The things that are around you that support you that give you energy, literally, mentally, physically, emotionally, things that are giving that to you, return to those things that feel true today. Those are things that are solid that you know can give you an element of certainty, you know, how you feel, even if the things around you are uncertain. Another thing is trusting that life will reveal itself. The answers or the direction are going to come in their time. Another one is rest in the frequency of who you want to become. I shared this with you guys at the beginning of the episode about just staying in that energy of excitement and alignment, following the breadcrumbs, all of those little glimmers. And I'm truly resting in the frequency of the woman that I want to be, and the woman that I see myself being. Sometimes uncertainty simply means that your life is changing faster than your mind can even make sense of. Trust that the clarity will come. Trust that the answers are unfolding. And trust that not everything that's meaningful has to arrive all at once. Just because you can't see exactly where you are going doesn't mean you aren't moving there. Some of the most beautiful chapters of our lives begin before we even understand where they are leading us. And maybe one day you will look back and realize that this season of uncertainty wasn't where your life paused or even stopped. It was actually where it quietly began. I will see you next week. If you love this episode, I'd so appreciate it if you'd rate, review, or share it with someone else who's also on their path of self-growth. These all go such a long way in supporting the show. Be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find me over on Instagram at StyleCusp and follow the show Behind the Cusp. And as always, keep tuning inward. True transformation begins from the inside out.