🎙️Why Endings Matter: Ending Well with Intention

We spend so much of our lives celebrating beginnings.

New relationships. New jobs. New homes. New opportunities.

But no one really teaches us how to end something well.

In this episode, I'm sharing the story behind what I am calling my "Farewell Summer" - my final summer before selling my home and moving to Florida full time. But this conversation isn't really about moving. It's about something much bigger.

It's about learning to honor the chapters that shaped us, recognizing when we've outgrown something but waiting on timing to move, and understanding that gratitude and letting go can exist at the same time.

We'll talk about why endings deserve just as much intention as beginnings, how to know when it's time to move forward, and why the way we close one chapter often determines how we step into the next.

Maybe endings aren't something to rush through. Maybe they're something to honor & celebrate well. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Behind the Cusp, a podcast diving deep into the layers of self-growth, inner work, and transformation. I'm your host, Marissa Mead, and after 15 years as a digital creator, I'm sharing my raw, unfiltered journey of healing and self-discovery to walk alongside you in yours. Together, we'll dive deep into the conversations that matter most, uncovering what it means to truly evolve from the inside out. This is where you elevate into transformation. So take a breath, settle in, and let's begin. You guys, we are back in Connecticut. I made the trek back almost a week ago now, which is crazy because it probably feels like two days in, but also I feel like I've been here forever already. It's crazy how that goes. Probably because there was a holiday weekend smashed right in between. But I am totally acknowledging that I missed an episode last week, even in my commitment quest that I've made, because the logistics of my car getting picked up, all my equipment getting shipped in my car, and then me leaving, I was like, oh, my car got picked up early last week, and so all my podcast stuff gets sent in it in the car. Because obviously I can't travel with like, you know, mic stands and all that kind of stuff because it's so heavy. Um, so that's that, and I just had to accept that. My car got here Friday, and I was like, oh, I couldn't record an episode Friday afternoon, and then I'm like, how am I gonna release an episode on Saturday morning of a holiday weekend? Like that wouldn't be smart or whatever. So it is what it is, and like accepting and being in the flow of where life is at right now is where I am landing, and that's a good thing for me and for all of us too to remember just like our life moves and we need to move in flow with it, and that is totally okay. So when I say I'm back in Connecticut, if you don't already know, I split my time 50-50 between Naples, Florida, and then Connecticut. Connecticut is where I am born and raised, grew up here. I bought a home here in 2019, and then I started going to Florida in 2021, and have spent my time pretty much I would say half and half, but it's kind of a little bit more like I live in Florida 65 or 70% of the time, and then in Connecticut, and that's kind of where my life is at right now with the split. But I've been in this transition place and phase that I have shared with you guys pretty openly here on the podcast, and I think I've alluded to it a little bit more on Instagram of just feeling like my life is moving in a different direction. So as I came back home this summer to Connecticut and to my home, and I'm in the process of like making some decisions, I've really been thinking about endings. There's beginnings, there's endings, and I think that's something that we all can sit here and relate to. Maybe you're in the midst of a lot of different things ending right now and anticipating some new beginnings, or there's things ending, and you don't really know what's on the other side of those things, or what might be getting. And sometimes that can feel scary, sometimes that can feel exciting. Endings can be hard, they can be very transitional, they can be very weighted. You know, there's so much that comes with something ending, even if you feel like it's a good thing. So I've just been thinking a lot about endings as I came home this summer because my intention with coming home is to wrap things up here with my home and list my house and fully move to Florida full time. So that is a big ending in life for me. Not just the ending of like living in Connecticut or like my home selling, but this is, you know, where I'm born and raised, where I grew up, where my entire family still is. My grandparents are still alive and they are so near and dear to me, as many of you know. Most of my sisters live here, my parents both still live here, and so there's still so much that ties me to Connecticut, and so it's not just an ending of me selling my house, there's so much more that comes along with that, and so with that ending, I've been thinking so much about that because it can feel really sad, you know, or like a lot to process, and it's also why I think it's made the decision so hard for me to make because there's so much tied to it. So we're gonna dive into that in a little bit because I wanted to center this episode and start this episode on endings of all kinds that we're all walking through at different places in our life right now. They can be sad, they can be dramatic, they could be quiet, they could be abrupt, they could be long-awaited, they could be long pondered. There's so many different types of endings that we are all going through. And something that I've realized in endings is we as a society have become really good at celebrating or chasing beginnings. We chase the beginning, the new chapter, the new house, the new relationship, the new family, the new car, the new job, whatever it is, like we're always chasing the new. But in order for the new to arrive, there has to be an ending of some kind. And how do we go through that? And how do we grow through that? How do we grieve it? How do we give it its proper closing and proper ending? We're taught how to begin, and we're encouraged to begin. We're encouraged to dream, to chase, to set goals, to grow, to become this, to do that, to travel here, to do, you know, all these different things. But I don't know if anyone's ever really taught us how to end something well, how to leave something that was once so important to us in some way. How do we leave it? Are we leaving it in a beautiful way? Or is it just so abrupt? It's like this thing that's just cut out of our lives. And so this is what's been on my mind. How do I leave a place I still love? How do I outgrow a version of myself without feeling guilty or wishing back for it? How to fully think a chapter that I'm closing instead of clinging to it or having one foot behind me and still in it. And so, as I've thought about all of these different things and many of those things I'm personally walking through right now, but I also know so many of you are probably personally walking through right now in some way. Maybe all of those apply to you, maybe one applies to you or really resonates, but the quality of our endings, how we're able to end something and grow through an ending and process an ending and even sit in the ending completely shapes the quality of the next thing that you're beginning. And so when I think about being here in Connecticut this summer and like preparing to list my home and what that looks like, I think about how can I leave this chapter so well that I am so fulfilled, I feel full, ready to hop into the next chapter 100% so full and ready, because I want to shape that one to be the most beautiful beginning that it can be. As I've thought about the quality of this ending specifically for me, it's been something that I've pondered for years. And at some points I've even thought to myself, like, why can't I just make the decision? Why can't I just decide? But ultimately, what it's come down to is I've never felt that it was 100% the right time to actually act on the decision. I actually made the decision to sell my house five years ago. I knew I was selling this house. I knew that I would be moving to Florida full-time. I knew that was a direction that my life was going in, pulling me in. It was really apparent after the first winter that I spent there. And so it was like that decision I had already made years and years ago, but I hadn't actually come to the point where it was being played out because I wasn't fully ready for this chapter to end. It never felt like the most aligned right time. And that was an interesting process to walk through. And as we talk about endings in this episode, I'll kind of share some parallels of my own journey with you guys as well. But a few things that I want to mention here are if you rush through an ending, you're going to carry that ending with you into the next chapter. It's going to kind of loom, it's going to be there as a, you know, if you want to call it like a dark cloud, maybe, or, you know, it's it's that one foot in the door behind you kind of thing. If you resent something ending, you're going to carry that resentment forward. So you don't want to leave things unturned or with one arm or one foot back or resenting something or not feeling that a chapter has been complete before you move on to the next one. And that's where I think the process of knowing how to end something well is so key. Now, that process might take one day for some people, and that might take a year for other people. There's no timetable that equates to how to move through an ending well per se. But if we can honor our ending, if we can thank the ending, if we can celebrate the ending, or even if we can grieve the ending, if we can move through the emotions of whatever that ending is bringing, then we can arrive in the new place with open hands, ready to receive, instead of ones that are clutching something behind us or full with the baggage of what we just walked out of. You want to arrive ready for what's next in your life, able to hold the higher frequency of what you are stepping into because you have fully moved through what was. And that's where I am dubbing this summer, my farewell summer. A summer that I want to live so well to fully close and thank and celebrate this chapter and fully enter into my next chapter with nothing left on the table. I've realized as I've thought about endings that this home and this chapter of my life deserves a beautiful goodbye. It doesn't deserve to have me throw a for sale sign on the market when I'm still in Florida and just feeling unsettled about something that might be left for me to do or handle or see or be or whatever. I need to be here. I need to fully embrace the chapter and fully embrace the goodbye that this chapter needs from me because it's so important for the chapter that I'm walking into for me to do that. Think about a place in your life where you have an ending of some sort right now, of any kind, of any magnitude. It could be small, it could be big, it could be a medium size, it could be literally anything. Think about something that's ending in your life right now. And how much intention or care or attention can you put into whatever is ending as you may be putting into what is coming for you? And then as we think about endings, I also want to talk about the process of coming to an ending because that is actually really key when you think about something ending. There's usually this process that you've come to in some way, whether it's leaving a relationship, leaving a job, leaving a city, leaving a friendship, or also it can be energetic things, moving out of an old identity, moving out of people pleasing, moving out of people's expectations over you. An ending can isn't just those like buzzy things that we think about the job, the city, the house, the relationship, whatever. It is also so much to do with our own journey within ourselves, what is also ending at the same time. And something that is so profound for me in this journey of my home ending, it has so mirrored the process that I've gone through as an individual and where my own journey has been to get me to this ending. And right now, I feel like I'm on the precipice of so much change in my life, career-wise, where I'm living. All of these things are kind of realigning. The people that I am friends with, the people that I have in my circle. There's so much shifting and changing right now. And this home that I've lived in and made my home, and it's been so much of my identity for the last eight years, isn't coming with me into that next chapter. Not because it's not beautiful home or because I couldn't live here or anything like that. It's just not made to move into the next chapter with me. Where I really realized this, like I made, like I said to you guys before, I made that decision about moving out of this house five years ago. And I I was like, I know I'm gonna sell my house, but it's like, when am I gonna sell my house? That was really the question. It was like, yes, I'm doing this, but when is the right time? And it was almost like this slow unraveling, and maybe you can sit and relate to this too, that there's this slow unraveling that brings you to a place where you're just like, okay, I'm ready for something to end or move or change. But every year that I've come back here to Connecticut in the start of the summer, so usually around this time, like mid to end of June, I would feel like the person who left and the person that was arriving back were never the same. I always felt like I grew so much in Florida in my own personal growth journey, in my identity journey as a person, my friendships, my relationships. I met my boyfriend, I moved into a different phase of life, and then I would come back to Connecticut, and it was always this energetic disconnect, this feeling like I had to go back and fit into an old version of myself. And I would struggle for a while, like weeks, sometimes months, where I'd be like, I feel like I just don't fit here. And it I'd and I'd sit there and I'd be like, but why? Like, this is my house. I built this home, I created, I you know, I created this home, I've decorated it, I've designed it, I've filled it with things that I love, and the people that come in here and out of here I love, and like, why can't I feel alive here? It was always like I was asking a newer version of myself to fit back into an older life. And when it became so apparent to me that like I could no longer fit a square peg into a round hole, that's when I was like, okay, I really have to move on from this. This cycle has fully completed. But I want to hold the space right now for something. Me coming back here and experiencing that disconnect all the time enabled me to also witness how much growth I had I had already gone through. And so even if that discomfort, even if that energetic disconnect every time was uncomfortable, it was also an opportunity for me to witness myself. And I share that because I want you guys to think about where you're at and your ending right now. And maybe that ending feels uncomfortable or it's stretching you in some way or whatever. But what about it is stretching you? What about it feels uncomfortable? Is it because of the process that you've gone through to get there? Like that process feels uncomfortable. There may be a deeper reason there. And so when I thought of it that way, when I looked at it that way, I was like, wow, I'm really actually grateful that I've had this stark contrast to almost compare these two things to, and to realize I'm I'm such a different person. I've grown to be in such a different place. The things that fulfill me and what lights me up are different. And I come back and I'm trying to fit into an old version of me. And it's also crazy because it was only ever a couple months. It would be five, six months that I would come back and I would feel so energetically different. And that's where you realize and I would witness like how much growth I could actually go through in those six months. And sometimes it was like leaps and bounds, and it would be it would feel like I was having an out-of-body experience coming back to something new. And so in that, there was also this grieving process that I've gone through, realizing that I'm grieving a home that I love, even though it's still mine, because I realize that it doesn't fit anymore. And you think about how something that you love doesn't fit into your life anymore, or something that you value doesn't fit into your life anymore, or maybe it was something that was even tied to your identity, or how you defined yourself or your success, or different benchmarks in your life, all things that absolutely my house has done for me in good ways, but also realizing ways that me having this home doesn't define me, right? And so this year I came home knowing that I was coming home to sell this home. But there was also this apprehension because I've been really nervous about the energetics of it and coming home and feeling like that backwards feeling or feeling that disconnect feeling from myself and things that I work really hard to get. We've been talking about the transition period here for the last couple of episodes and everything that's carried. I've opened up and shared different transitions and things that I've been going through. And so the metamorphosis process, if you will, of the last six months has been really heavy, but I'm on the other side of that. And then it was like, as soon as I got to the other side of that, I was leaving and I was coming back here. And so I was having these thoughts of like, oh my gosh, what if I go back and it's an undo button for like all the work that I've done or whatever. There was definitely some fear around that for me coming back here. And so this last week, you know, I've given myself time to integrate into coming back the first day that I came home. I did not rush into unpacking every suitcase and organizing everything and making a list of all the things that need to be done in the house and fixing that and doing this. I was just like, I'm just gonna be today. And I actually worked on something really personal and just very visionary for myself for eight hours that day, totally in my creative flow and being, I was on the couch all day, not in the lazy way I was working, but I was on the couch, meaning I really felt like I was in this feminine creative flow, in my true essence, if you will, and pouring out so much of my heart and what's inside of me, and I realized that that set the tone for this entire time that I'm going to be home, and I don't know how long that's gonna be. I'm intending for it to be like two, maybe three months, and but I don't know what that looks like. But I realized that that one day was so important for me to transition to this next thing, and so I could look at the last six months of transition, coming on the other side of that, and then coming back to Connecticut as an ending, so to speak, right? That time, the last six months has ended, and the day that I came home here was ending that well. It was taking everything that I had poured into my own growth and coming out on the other side of all this transition for that full day. I like poured all of that out to also receive this next chapter ahead of me, the next two, three months that I am here to also have another ending to say goodbye to this home, but do it well. And so that was a really powerful day in this last week for me to have. Woman that I am now, and where my emotional capacity or attentiveness to my own needs or what fulfills me in a moment, I've grown to a place to be able to recognize that. And so for the first time ever since I moved to Florida five, six years ago now, I didn't wake up with this anxiousness or feeling of disconnect or anything. I woke up peaceful. I woke up settled with where I'm at right now because I'm so clear on the direction that I'm going. I'm clear on my intention. And it wasn't this feeling of wondering if I was ready to leave or if I should still stay longer, if I should make it one more year. It was like, I already know. I already know what I came home for this year. There wasn't a question of if, it was an intention. And that gave me so much peace and still does, even now, a week later, where I'm ready to live this summer so well. So it's the farewell summer. And that's the way that I am celebrating this ending. And that's what I want to challenge you guys with today how can you celebrate an ending? How can you leave something so well? We are heading up to Maine tomorrow morning for my great aunt's celebration of life this week. And this is the second aunt that we are having a celebration of life for in the last month for our family. We've had several losses in the last weeks and months. And something hit me as I was like preparing for this episode, and I was like getting my water downstairs and coming back up, and I was like, her life has ended, but we are celebrating it. And how fitting is that that we are celebrating it this week as I'm talking about this episode. I was thinking about, oh, it's gonna be hard to go there. And I'm like, no, we're celebrating her life that was lived so well. She was such a beautiful, peaceful, just absolute angelic person. If that, if I could explain her in any way, that's how I would honestly put her. She was like an angel on earth. And I have the sweetest memories with her growing up, cooking and baking and learning from her and spending time in her home and in her kitchen, and just she loved so well, she loved so purely, and she was such a gift to our family. And I love that we can celebrate the ending of her life to have joy in the time that we had with her. And I think that that's also just another way that even lately I feel in general, there's so much more celebrations of life instead of funerals. And there's a time and a place for both, and I'm not condoning one or anything like that. I've been to funerals as well, and there's, I think there's different times that certain ones are appropriate over the other or whatever, but that's not really what I'm getting at. What I'm getting at is that we're having this celebration of someone's life, and it's an ending that we are ending well, that we are, yes, grieving the ending, but we are also celebrating the ending and thanking the ending, that it was a beautiful time. She was 90, some nine in her early 90s, like 92, 93 years old. And how beautiful is that, you know? And so I want to just end with this episode with a little hopeful note for you. And a reminder that I've spent years holding on to the chapter that I'm in, waiting for the right time to feel fully at peace. And instead of beating myself up over that or saying I should have made the decision sooner, I'm recognizing that it's actually right on time. And this summer, I'm choosing to honor that ending instead. So your reminder here is maybe closure comes not in letting go. Maybe it's about loving something deeply enough to thank it for everything that it gave you. Because when you can finally say thank you and celebrate an ending, you make room to say yes for what is next. And so on that note, we are going to end this episode well, and I will see you guys next week. Thank you for tuning into this episode of Behind the Cusp. If you love this episode, I'd so appreciate it if you'd rate, review, or share it with someone else who's also on their path of self-growth. These all go such a long way in supporting the show. Be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find me over on Instagram at StyleCusp and follow the show Behind the Cusp. And as always, keep tuning inward. True transformation begins from the inside out.