Hello everyone, welcome to the Said in Therapy Podcast. Have you ever considered going to therapy and you ended up not going? My question is why? In my humble opinion, I believe everyone can benefit from therapy. In fact, I believe everybody should go at least once in their life. My name is Iman Tohami, and I'm a psychologist. This podcast tells you all about everyday cases with everyday people who have everyday problems and difficulties, and sometimes they carry around really deep wounds. These are their stories. But basically, because I'm taking it a bit easy, especially it's the last uh weekish, I think, a bit more of 2020. And it's safe to say that everybody in 2020 really had an interesting time. Let's put it that way. It was a very important year for so many, but also a very challenging year for so many. And it was a year of loss, it was a year of pain, but also a year of reflection. And yes, and now we are in December, uh, well into the last week of December, and uh we are in the holidays here in the West. So for everyone who is observing and celebrating, I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. And I hope that they got that you got to celebrate with your family one way or another, whether it is online, virtually, or if you had the chance to get together. I really hope that you had the chance to have a few peaceful days and enjoy um the presence with other people and also maybe find gratitude in that. I think we all realized how important it is to have loved ones in our life this year. Yeah, but I also know, and this is basically what this episode is about, I know that um there are many, many people who are quite lonely and reflecting on what happened in 2020, realizing that maybe they have spent the most part of this year alone. It is important to realize that combating loneliness this year is so different to so many other years. In fact, I think also in my field, everybody who is working in my field realizes that the general tools that you use to help people through crisis and hardship don't necessarily apply. And we too had to re-evaluate uh the way we proceed in therapy and how we help people or guide people in order to find their own tools and how to make them use these tools. Now, you know, when you sit most of your time at home, it's very hard to combat depression if you are socially isolating. Because let me tell you, one of the most important pieces of advice that you give someone who is struggling with depression is go out, try to meet people, try to try to do something new, um, have conversations with other people. You know, if you are someone who commutes a lot, let's say you are in a train, why don't you just speak to someone who sits in front of you? But all of these things don't apply anymore. Most people haven't even seen a train, a plane, or or you know, haven't been to places with more than one or two people. So mingling and networking and having conversation with strangers. Well, this is something that doesn't happen anymore, and you know, I think we all grew accustomed to using screens in order to connect with other people, whether it is with Zoom, Hangout, you know, all these apps that just rose out of the ground just to help us get through the pandemic. And let's just for a moment remember that we are extremely lucky that we are, when it comes to tech, we are now on a very high standard. So, in a way, we had the opportunity to connect. But I also acknowledge, just to get back to the first point, that we all grew very tired of using screens. Um, physical interaction was very, very important. So, yeah, uh, I know it can be hard, and just to discuss the point of loneliness again, you know, um don't just write off 2020 as the worst year that you ever had, if this is how you feel. Try to recognize that this is a year of opportunity as well to get to know yourself a little better. Um, I'm acknowledging that this is really hard sometimes, especially if you are an extroverted person, if you are someone who loves to be around other people. But here's the thing: you only learn about yourself in solitude, you only learn about yourself in alone moments. I will not say lonely moments because this is not necessarily what all of this is about. Alone moments are those moments where you decide to sit down and think about your life and situations that you uh went through, and you reflect on them not to dwell in shame or in guilt or in fear, more you think about them, you reflect on them, you ponder in order to realize how you grew and how what you learned. Having said all that, um I want to tell everybody out there that there are still people who are willing to listen to you. So, what I'm gonna do with this episode is I hope you hope you all can go to the description box and open it. I will link a website for all of you guys who feel that they cannot make it on their own, especially this holiday season, especially the end of the year. And there are plenty of hotlines in your country too, where you can actually call someone and you know have a talk. Because I also realized that therapy is not something that people go for right away, stepping into the journey or starting the journey of therapy is a mental journey by itself. So getting to the point to realize that you actually want to have a therapist and you want to go to someone professional takes time. So, in order to support those moments that are still unclear to you, maybe a help hotline can give you some solace, if you will. Also, I realize that many of you have thoughts that are suicidal. So, yeah, um, this week's episode is going to be very short. I just wanted to give you a few words just from the heart, telling you that I'm very thankful for the journey that we have started together here. This podcast has opened so many doors, um, has connected me with so many people. And I think everyone, every one of you who really enjoyed taking this step with me, starting this journey with me. I started, believe it or not, I started this podcast in January 2020, having so many plans in a way, and then suddenly the pandemic happened. But I think this is exactly the story everybody had. We started the year, and then by March, everybody everything seemed so different. So, yeah, let's hope that the next year is going to be better. And for everyone who experienced loss this year, I'm incredibly sorry. But please believe that the strength is there, that you can channel it, and that you only need to allow the grief to pass through you in order to get to the other side. All right, this is basically it for today. I thank you so much. And next week, next Friday is basically um the 1st of January. Believe it or not, that's my birthday. And yes, I was really born on the 1st of January, and in honor of that day, or to celebrate that day, let's put it that way. I will publish something so many people have requested. So I have asked a friend of mine to interview me for the podcast, and basically, next week to celebrate my own birthday, I will publish the interview that I'm going to record with her this week. Thank you so much, thank you so much for tuning in. And hopefully, you will tune in again next week. It will be another episode talking to or about clients of mine, and you can find us on social media on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. The handle is always @saidintherapy. Thank you so much.