Hello everyone, welcome to the Said in Therapy podcast. Have you ever considered going to therapy and you ended up not going? My question is why. In my humble opinion, I believe everyone can benefit from therapy. In fact, I believe everybody should go at least once in their life. My name is Iman Tohami, and I'm a psychologist. This podcast tells you all about everyday cases with everyday people who have everyday problems and difficulties, and sometimes they can around really deep wounds. These are their stories. Listening to their stories was and still is very heartbreaking. During the pandemic, many people I haven't heard of in a very long time started to check in on me, and I did the same. As a psychologist, I am maybe not in the front line, but surely second. It almost feels like people in my position are picking up the pieces and they're trying to put them back together. As you can see, this episode is going into a very special direction. Today I want to talk to you about responsibility. I am on lockdown week six, I think. Can you imagine? I live together with my husband and toddler. And life as we knew it just collapsed within three days. Someday in March, I can't remember what day exactly, I told my husband that I won't bring my daughter to daycare the next day. I left a note in the handy daycare app the next morning and told him that she wasn't going. Things started to unfold very quickly, and from that day on we were home. Occasionally we are going for a walk around the house to get some fresh air. Now all of my sessions are online. The majority of my sessions were online anyway, so it wasn't much of a change. What did change though? I was asked to cover some crisis or stress management sessions for medical stuff, and I agreed. The reality is, the picture they paint, well, it's very sad and sometimes terrifying. I am sure you came across the picture online that showed some doctor or nurse holding up a sign that says, We stay here for you, so you stay home for us. That was around the very first week the pandemic was announced, I think. And because it was just in the beginning, everybody was willing to sacrifice some of their personal freedoms for the greater good. But as the weeks progressed, I started to see a shift in people. Can fever is really real? And don't get me wrong, I understand. And I agree with everyone who says it's really hard. Especially if you're surrounded by family members that are toxic and not very good for your mental well-being. So I'm going to do something here that I promised myself not to do initially. I'm not the kind of person who listens to a problem and tells you, why are you complaining about this while there are others who suffer from that? This is the wrong approach. It's not helpful. To me, pain is pain. It doesn't matter where it comes from and why it's caused. What matters is how we deal with it. But here comes the big butt. I couldn't help but wonder, how are the people of Gaza now? You see, a couple of years ago I was assigned to work there for a while, and it was surely the hardest field mission ever for me. Not because of the devastation of the infrastructure and the circumstances that made up life, but because of the spirit of those people. Whenever I'm asked about this particular mission, I say I went there to help, but they ended up helping me. They ended up showing me what resilience is, what faith is, and what joy is. There are people who are used to waking up at night, to leave their houses in their pajamas, to watch the house get bombed. And what do they do? They start over, they readjust, they evaluate what is, what was, and what to do from now on. They take responsibility for themselves and everyone around them. If one family loses their home, the next family opens the doors and lets them in. I'm not here to talk about politics and what I personally think. I'm here to make only one point. Take responsibility. Now you will say, well, Iman, they are allowed to have social interaction, and I will say, yes, they do. Well, I don't really know how corona is unfolding over there. But yeah, to some extent I agree. They are allowed to have social interactions. We are all sometimes forced to face our worst fears. Their fear is not to have a home the next day. Or worse. Our fear is being alone. And don't get me wrong, loneliness is one of the main contributors to mental illness. And to live in times of the pandemic can surely amplify the fear of being alone. But responsibility doesn't end with you. I argue it begins when you can take care of someone else. Keeping all of us healthy is a shared responsibility. It's okay to reach out to someone to talk about your fears and insecurities. And it's also okay to cry with someone even if they cannot hug you. But staying at home as much as you can in times like these is absolutely crucial. I really know it's hard. I know it seems long and never ending, and there is no, well, light at the end of the tunnel. But just do the right thing. And that's my message for today. Talk to you soon. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the episode so far. If you have any questions or suggestions, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can find me on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. The handle is always @saidintherapy.