Well, hello. Welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter Podcast. I'm Jax, a certified life coach, and this is the show for women over 40 who are ready to build their dream life one honest step at a time. So today's episode has two parts. First, I'm giving you a real life update, my new career, my big plan for 2027, and some proud mama moments because I have to brag about my son just for a minute. Then in part two, we're getting into what it really means to be magnetic, why it matters so much in midlife, and simple ways to grow and to become more magnetic. So grab your coffee, your walking shoes, or your steering wheel, wherever you're listening from. Let's get into it.
Okay, so let's start with work. If you've been listening for a while, you know in June of 2026 at 49, I started a brand new career as a project manager in mortgage lending. I build new loan products now for a very large mortgage institution instead of selling and approving loans like I did for years. And I am so happy to tell you this. My career, my new career in project management, is going fantastic. I love the work. I love solving problems. I love taking a big, messy idea and turning it into a plan with steps, owners, and dates. It turns out all those years in sales, underwriting, and operations were actually training me for this, and I didn't even know it. I love the people I work with. Our team is super smart, very knowledgeable, and very supportive. I love the work. I love the research and building something from the ground up and making it a product that our loan office can use and provide to our clientele. So if you ever wondered if it's too late to start over, I just answered that exact question on my website and Ask Jask Jacks. It's called, is it too late to change careers at 45 or 50? And spoiler alert, it's not. And the link is in the show notes.
Now I'm going to keep it real with you because that's what we do here. Corporate life comes with office politics. It's there, it's real. And if you've worked in an office, especially corporate, you already know exactly what I mean. So here's what I've learned and what I want you to hear if you're going back to corporate life in midlife or changing roles. Stay completely professional. Every email, every meeting, every message, even when someone else isn't. Don't share too much personally. This one was very hard for me because I really am an open book. I share my whole life with you on this podcast. But work is different. Your coworkers don't need to know everything about your weekend, your family, or your feeling about the last meeting. That's not being fake, that's being wise. Stay out of the gossip. If a conversation turns into talking about someone who isn't there, I get real quiet or I change the subject completely. Nothing good comes from it, and it always finds its way back. Let your work do the talking. Show up prepared, hit your dates, follow through. That's the kind of reputation that lasts longer than any drama. Here's the truth: you can be warm and professional at the same time. You can be kind to everyone and still keep your private life private. That's a boundary. My beautiful friend and boundaries are healthy. And just a tip: one thing I always do that I have always done. If someone is given props, congratulations, I chime in, I give them props and encouragement and support. I let them know I think they did a great job. Because you know what? I would want someone to let me know as well. That always feels good.
Now, let me tell you about my big plan for 2027. By August 2027, my goal is to be fully remote. Now that could happen two ways. Either my current role becomes fully remote, which I would love to happen, or I find a new project management job in mortgage lending that is fully remote with another lending institution. Now I don't want to do that. I love the company I work for, but I come first. And my wellness and my well-being comes first. So why August 2027? Because I want to be a snowbird in winter of 2027. And I said that out loud. I want to spend the cold Ohio months somewhere warm doing work I love from my laptop. And where do I want to spend in the winter of 2027? Nowhere else but Charleston, South Carolina. Now I know it's not extremely warm in the winter in Charleston, but it's warmer than Ohio. And I love the people there and I love the environment and I love everything you can do. So yes, I'm saying this out loud with purpose. When you speak your goal, you start to plan for it. You start to notice opportunities. You start making little choices that line up with it. So here's what I'm working towards right now. I'm showing up and doing excellent work. So I'm valuable no matter where I sit. I'm building my project management skills every single day. I'm keeping my eyes open for remote roles in my field. Also, I plan on getting my PMP certification, project management professional certification. And I plan on networking more, building my LinkedIn, meeting new people in the industry. Also, I'm getting more AI certifications. This is what you want to take from the story. You're allowed to design your work around the life you want, not the other way around. That's what I want you to take from this. So let me ask you, what would your dream setup look like by this time next year? Write it down. Say it out loud. That's where it starts.
Okay, now I have to brag about my son for a minute, my son Jake. Every mama listening knows this feeling. I am so proud of him. This past semester, he got all A's, all A's while working a full-time job and living on his own. And this semester is going fantastic for him too. He's balancing school, his full-time work, going to the gym, living on his own. He's doing it with so much heart. I raised him as a single mom. So when I see him being responsible, working hard and taking care of his future, my heart just really bursts. And when I to when he told me he got such good grades this past semester, I was more excited than he was. I was just gushing with excitement. And I was so proud of him and I told him so much. And here's the fun part. He's also making time to enjoy his life, which I love. In January of 2027, he's going on a bachelor cruise with his buddies. 15 young men. They're celebrating his buddy Austin, who's getting married next year. 15 young men on a cruise ship. I just pray for the crew. But really, I love that he is has a good group of friends, just like that, who show up for each other for big moments. That's something money can't buy. And I want to say this to every mom listening, especially those of us with grown kids. Watching your child become a good adult is one of the most rewarding experiences a mother can enjoy. If your kids are grown, tell them you're so proud of them. Text them today. They still need to hear it.
Now, while my son is on his cruise in January, I have my own trip planned. In February of 2027, I'm going back to Charleston solo. And if you followed me for a while, you know how much I love Charleston. The history, the food, the water, the slow, warm southern pace that just calms my whole nervous system. And here's the plan. I'm hoping to work remote for a couple days while I'm there. That way I don't have to use too much PTO and get more time in the place that I absolutely love. That's a little test run for my snowboard dream. And if you think about it, that's definitely what it is. Work a little, walk a lot, live a lot. And I've never taken a solo trip before, but I'm planning the seed. Traveling alone in midlife is going to be the most of the most freeing things I can ever do. And that's what you can do. You can eat where you want, you can sleep where you want, and you get to hear your own thoughts again. If you want more ideas, my Folly Beach and Charleston itinerary is on my website. I'll put that in the show notes as well. Okay, that's enough for the life update. Now let's get about to the good stuff.
How to be more magnetic. Okay, ladies, let's talk about being magnetic. What does it really mean to be magnetic? A magnetic woman is someone people are drawn to, not because she's chasing attention, but because of how she makes people feel when they're with her. Seen, safe, lifted. You leave a conversation with her feeling a little better about yourself, a little more alive, and you want to be around her again. Now let me tell you what magnetic is not. It's not about being the loudest person in the room. It's not about being the prettiest, the thinnest, or the youngest. It's not about being perfect, rich, or always on. Magnetic isn't a look. It's an energy. It's a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and genuinely interested in other people. Confidence and warmth at the same time. Here are some signs of a magnetic woman. See how many sound like someone you know or even yourself. She listens more than she talks, and you feel it. She's comfortable with a little silence. She doesn't rush to fill it. She knows what she likes and she's not embarrassed about it. She laughs easily, even at herself. She keeps her word to other people and to herself. She doesn't need everyone to like her. She makes other people feel important. She has a life that lights her up. Notice what's not on the list. Her age, her size, her job title.
There is some great research on this, and I love it because it takes the mystery out of it. Psychologist Susan Fisk, Amy Cuddy, and Peter Glick studied how we size people up. They found that when we meet someone, we judge them on two big things, warmth and competence. Basically, is this person on my side and can they get things done? And warmth gets judged first. So the most magnetic person are both kind and capable, warm and strong. And in her book, The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Kabaney says charisma isn't something you're born with. It's a set of behaviors you can learn. She breaks it in three parts. Presence, being fully here with the person in front of you. Power, a calm confidence that you can handle things, warmth, real care for other people. Presence, power, warmth. If you remember nothing else from today, remember those three words. And remember this, they can be learned. That's the best news of this whole episode.
Now I want to talk directly to the women who's listening right now thinking, Jax, that's not me. I don't feel magnetic. Some days I feel invisible. I see you, and I want you to know that feeling is so common in midlife. Think about everything you've carried, years of putting your kids, your partner, your job, and maybe your parents first. A body that's changing, maybe a career that's stalled, maybe a divorce, an empty house, or a loss you're still grieving. Of course you feel dimmed. You've been pouring into everyone else for years. But here's the truth: your magnetism isn't gone. It's buried. It's under years of taking care of everyone but you. And what's buried can be dug back up. I'll be honest with you. In 2022, I was laid off, deep in debt, and over 400 pounds. I did not feel magnetic. I felt invisible. What changed wasn't my looks first, it was how I treated myself. And that's where your glow starts to. Magnetism grows from the inside out.
So before we get into additional tips, here are five steps you do for you. Step one, notice how you're shrinking. Most of us shrink without even knowing it. We say sorry before every question. We cross our arms and round our shoulders. We wave off compliments. We stay quiet in meetings. We hide in the back of every photo. You can't change what you don't notice. So try this. For one day, count how many times you say sorry when you didn't do anything wrong. Then swap some of them for thank you. Instead of sorry I'm late, try thank you for waiting. Step two, change the voice in your head. People can feel how you feel about yourself. If your voice in your head says, I'm too old, or nobody wants to hear from me, it leaks out in your posture, your eye contact, and your voice. So start taking notice to yourself and start talking to yourself like you would to your best friend. Instead of I'm too old for this, try I'm still learning. Instead of I look terrible, try I'm taking care of this body. Instead of why am I to do this, try why not me? Step three, refill your own energy. You can't glow on empty. Magnetism takes energy, and so many of us are running on fumes. Rest, move your body, say no to one thing you don't want to do. Protect a little time that's just yours. Okay, step four. Rediscover what you like. This one is big. A lot of women in my life tell me they don't even know what they enjoy anymore. They've been planning everyone else's fun for so long. Try this. Write down 10 things you love doing at any point in your life. Dancing, painting, reading on the porch, road trips. Pick one and do it this month. A woman who is enjoying her own life is magnetic every time. Now finally, step five. Practice in small, safe moments. You don't start with a big meeting or a first date. You start with the barista, the cashier, or your neighbor. Look them in the eye, smile, use their name if you know it. Ask one small question. That's it. And just like my walking story, it didn't start with five miles. It started with one block. Small reps every day add up. And here's the most important thing I want you to hear. You don't have to feel confident to start. Confidence comes after the action, not before. So, why does this matter so much?
Because magnetism touches every part of your life. Here are the benefits I see over and over in my own life and the women I coach. Deeper friendships and less loneliness. Making friends after 40 can feel hard. When you're warm, present, and curious, people open up to you faster, and those surface level chats turn into real friendships. More opportunities at work. People recommend people they like and trust. When you're magnetic, your name comes up where there's a new project, a promotion, or a job opening. That's exactly the kind of thing that can help me reach my remote goal by August 2027. You're heard and respected in meetings, at family dinners, even at the doctor's office. A calm, confident woman gets listened to. Healthier love and relationships, whether you're dating, married, or happy single, you attract people who treat you well and you notice faster when someone doesn't. Stronger boundaries. This surprises people. Magnetic women don't just attract the right people, they also stop chasing the wrong ones. When you like yourself, you stop people pleasing. More confidence and self-respect. This is the inside benefit, and it's the best one. You stop shrinking, you take up your space, you start to like the woman in the mirror. Your business and brand grows. You sell anything, coach anyone, or post online, people buy from the people they know, like, and trust. Magnetism builds all three. More joy and energy. Life feels bigger. You say yes to more. You stop feeling invisible and start feeling alive. You inspire the people around you, your kids, your friends, and your coworkers. Get to see what midlife can really look like. That's a gift you've given without saying a word. You're not too old for any of this. You're not behind. You're awake.
So now let's get practical with the outside part, the things you do with other people. Now, here are 10 simple ways to be more magnetic with the people around you. Starting today. Pick one or two. You don't need all ten this week. Number one, be fully present. This is the fastest way to be magnetic and it's free. When someone is talking to you, put the phone down, face them, look them in the eye. Don't plan what you're going to do next. Most people are half listening, so when you give someone your full attention, they feel it. It's rare and it's rare and it's magnetic. Number two, ask one more question. Magnetic people are curious. They make the conversation about you. When someone tells you something, don't jump in with your own story right away. Ask one more question. How did that feel? What happened next? What made you decide that? People walk away from that conversation. Conversation thinking, I love talking to her, and you barely talked about yourself. Number three, use people's names. Dale Cardegie wrote about the way back in a classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. A person's name is one of the sweetest sounds to them. So use it. Good morning, Lisa. Thank you, Mark. That really helped. Number four, lead with warmth. Remember the research, warmth gets judged first. So smile with your eyes. Say hello first. Give real compliments and make them specific. Not just you look nice, but that color is gorgeous on you. Number five, slow down. This one changed everything for me. When we're nervous, we talk fast, we overexplained and we fidget. Calm, confident women, slow down. Number six, have a life you're excited about. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is lit up by her own life. Hobbies, goals, travel plans, a new class, a book you can't put down. When you're excited about your life, it shows on your face and in your voice. Number seven, keep promises to yourself. That is where real confidence comes from. Every time you say you'll do something for yourself and you actually do it, you build self-trust. And when you trust yourself, you carry yourself differently. Number eight, take care of how you feel in your body. This is not about size. Let me say that again. This is not about your size. It's about feeling good in the body you have today. Move it, rest it, feel it well. Wear clothes that fit you now, not the size you hope to be someday. Number nine, speak well of others. Remember what I said about office politics? That is where it ties in. The woman who never gossips is magnetic. People trust her. They know that if she doesn't talk about others, she won't talk about them. And number 10, keep a little mystery. This one might surprise you. Magnetic women don't overshare. They're open and real, but not everyone gets every detail of their life right away. Some things are for the inner circle.
Okay, my friend, here is your challenge, your seven day magnetic challenge, one small thing a day for seven days. Day one, put your phone away in every conversation. Day two, ask one more question in three conversations. Day three, use people's names all day. Day four, give three specific compliments. Day five, slow down, pause before your answer. Day six, plan one thing you're excited about. And day seven, keep one promise to yourself and celebrate it. Then notice how do people respond to you? How do you feel? I think you're going to be really, really surprised.
Okay, let's wrap it up. Today I shared that my new career as a project manager is going fantastic. I'm staying professional, keeping my private life private, and working toward being fully remote by August 2027 so I can be a snow bird that winter. I bragged about my son who got all A's while working full time and who was cruising with his 15 friends in January 2027. And I'm heading back to Charleston solo in February 2027. Then we talked about being magnetic. Remember the three words: presence, power, warmth. If you don't feel magnetic right now, start on the inside. Notice where you're shrinking, change that voice in your head, refill your energy, rediscover what you love, and practice in small, safe moments. You don't have to be younger, thinner, or louder to be magnetic. You just have to be more you. So before you go, I want to say thank you. I know you're busy where you are. You have work, family, to-do lists a mile long, and maybe parents or kids who still need you. So the fact that you chose to spend this time with me means so much. Thank you for your time, truly. And to every woman who has listened, shared an episode, sent me a message, or asked me a question, I appreciate you more than you know. You're the reason I keep showing up behind the microphone every week. If this episode helped you even a little, would you do me a favor? Leave a positive rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes about 30 seconds and it makes a big difference. Reviews help other women over 40 find the show. Women who might need to hear this message today. And here's a little thank you gift. Send me a screenshot of your review, and I'll send you 10 free guides. Got a question for me? Send it to Ask Jax on my website. You can ask anonymously, and I may answer it in a future episode or in my newsletter. And if you've ready to build your dream life after 40, start with my glow assessment, my glow quiz. It's on my website and it shows exactly where to start. Go be kind to yourself. Go glow. With love, Jacks.