Why Your Brain Fights Change And How To Win

Ever notice how your brain clings to comfort even when your heart wants change? We get real about why big goals stall, how fear dresses up as “safety,” and the simple, repeatable steps that unlock real momentum. Jax shares the three whys that powered a 176-pound transformation at 48—being present for her son, exploring the world with energy, and finally ending the grinding worry that came with carrying over 400 pounds.

We break down how to make change feel smaller and more doable by designing one tiny habit you’ll actually repeat. You’ll hear the exact setup that made the first morning walk happen—shoes by the door, outfit staged, phone charged—and why environmental cues beat willpower every time. From drinking 100 ounces of water to a 60-second snack pause, from meal logging to beginner-friendly skin routines like nightly cleansing, humidifiers, and tretinoin, we map micro-actions to big outcomes so success becomes a byproduct of your day.

As those small wins stack, identity shifts: you start to trust yourself, carry yourself differently, and glow from the inside out. That glow isn’t a filter—it’s evidence that you keep promises to yourself. We talk about handling public judgment, workplace bias, and the quiet logistics of living in a bigger body, then show how momentum turns goals into lifestyle and lifestyle into freedom. One action today. Cues set tonight. A better tomorrow on repeat.

If this sparked your next step, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review—it helps more women find Midlife Glow Getter. Your turn: what’s the one tiny habit you’ll start tonight?

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Transcript

Comfort Vs Change In The Brain

Personal Rock Bottom And Routine

The Three Whys That Matter

Fear, Judgment, And Daily Worry

Turning A Quote Into Resolve

Baby Steps Beat Overwhelm

First Walk And Setup Cues

SPEAKER_00 1:01

So, welcome back to the Midlife Glow Getter Podcast. I'm Jax, your host. This is season two, episode 43. So, I have a question for you. Why aren't you acting on what you want out of life? Are you acting on what you want out of life? Your goal, your big goal. Maybe there's many goals. Are you taking action? Massive action to get what you want out of life? And if you have taken that action and gave up, why did you give up at the first or second obstacle? So, what I'm describing is super common. Most of the time, your brain is built to choose what feels safe and familiar. Even if you want change, your brain can still lean toward the old routine because it feels less scary. So it's not that you're lazy or broken. Your brain may just be trying to avoid discomfort, and change is uncomfortable. That was me for several years. I wanted to lose the weight. I wanted to get healthy. That was my goal. And I tried. I would take an action or two, and then I would give up. I would go back to my old ways, what was safe and comfortable. And back then in my brain and my body, what was safe and comfortable was potato chips, pizza, Diet Coke, ice cream, laying in my bed on a Saturday afternoon when it's sunny outside, and I'm laying in bed watching TV when I could be outside, taking a walk around the block, gardening, going for a walk in the Metro Parks here in Cleveland, maybe going to the beach. You know, I could go outside and move my body, but I chose not to because it wasn't comfortable. So today I'm gonna give you some steps of how to take action to get what you want. At least this is what I did. These are the steps I took, these are the things I did to lose right now, as of today, 176 pounds, and I am 48, and I've done this in the last three and a half years. And it was pretty much naturally. 30 of the pounds was when I was on Zetbound shortly for three months. So I'm gonna give you some tips and steps so maybe it will help you to take action to get what you want out of life. So the first key is to connect your big goal, your main goal, to a reason that actually lights you up. Something that really matters to you, your real why, why you want this goal, something that is super important to you that makes you glow inside. I have several goals this year, but my big main focused goal is wellness and weight loss. I really want to get down to another 95 pounds or so by the end of the year. My why is super personal and super important to me. It's not really to look good in a bathing suit, but you know, that's not bad. My weight why is really personable. My why is basically about family and life experiences. And I really have three whys. So my why one, number one, is I want to be around for my son as he grows and lives his life. You know, I want to be vibrant, I want to be present, I want to be healthy. What if he gets married and has children? I want to be around for him. I want to be around for his wife and his future children, my grandkids, if we are so blessed. So I want to be young and vibrant and healthy and present for my son as he gets older. So that's my why number one. So my why number two, I want to experience and see everything this wonderful world has to offer. I want to be able to get around and enjoy life and be happy and healthy and not worry how I'm gonna make it from point A to point B, you know, as I used to worry when I weighed over 400 pounds. Which leads into my why number three. I wanted to lose weight because I was so tired of all the worry that overweight, that that much overweight, brought in my life. I used to worry about everything. I used to worry about going to restaurants when I was so heavy. Would I be able to fit in the chair? Would the chair be able to hold me? I literally used to go on the restaurant's websites and look at the images and check out the area and the seating and evaluate if I thought those chairs would hold me, you know, if it was sturdy enough. I would worry and think about, you know, how would people look at me when I went out? What would people think? I used to struggle to get dressed and get my shoes on and tie my tennis shoes, and it would make me worry. I used to have difficulty sleeping and difficulty breathing, and that worried me. I used to have problems buying clothes. I was always worried if I would find clothes that would fit. And I could not go to a store in person at that size. Everything was bought online in extreme large sizes. And don't get me started on the style of clothes for someone who is 4x or 5x. Talk about frumpy and plain. I was tired of being treated horribly. I was worried how I would be treated. People don't realize how you're treated when you're overweight. You were overlooked, you are judged, you are laughed at, you aren't considered. And then I was worried about my job and at the workplace. Forget about promotions, forget about moving up the corporate ladder at that weight. You were not considered. And I was worried about, you know, how I would progress at this weight. And also forget about management positions that just was not an option. So I stress to you, you need to have a real, real why, something important to you and your lifestyle. And as I explained, my real whys, I have three of them: my son and his future and being present, experiencing everything this world has to offer, and to stop the worrying that overweight body brought me when I was so heavy. So those are my whys. And whatever your goal is, you need to figure out a real why to get you started. You know, I remember sitting in my bed in 2022 and reading a quote by an author called Faraway, and it was online on my phone. It went something like this. I want to live life like I want to live it twice. And for me, it all started with wellness and losing weight. I wasn't living a life I was proud of like I wanted to live it again. That was my biggest pain. That was my biggest problem. That was my biggest fault. My fatness, my weight, and I was not well. So once you have your why, the next step is to take action. Now, in the beginning, it doesn't have to be massive action, it's baby steps, a small action. At least that's what I did. I took small action. And from a brain science point of view, the trick is to stop making the change in that action so huge and unmanageable. Break the change into tiny simple steps you can do minimally. Many steps start small, many little obstacles to overcome that can be manageable in your brain. So, what started with me was going for a walk around the block, moving my body. I was 400 pounds at that time in May of 2022, and early morning, 6:30 a.m., I went for a walk around my block. I got up, put my tennis shoes on, put my sweatshirt, grabbed my phone and my ear pods, and went for a walk. Now it wasn't easy, but I did it. And I thought, you know, I'm gonna do this again tomorrow. This really helped me clear my mind. And I felt like I accomplished something. So you know what I did? I laid out my tennis shoes next to my door. I laid out an outfit for early morning, and I had my phone charged. And when I woke up and I was ready to go outside, everything was there laid out, and I was ready to walk. So make it easy when you make your first small, tiny steps. Make it easy for yourself, and that's what I. So every small action, every small win, every small mini goal accomplished is like a vote for a new you. The new and improved you. At least that's what it did for me. Every walk around the block made me want to do more, made me feel confident and proud of myself. I held my head up high. I was like, dang, I did it. I did it again. I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. It helps your brain build a new path. That's how you build confidence inside you. That helps you move forward and to want more and to strive for more to hit that goal. That's how motivation turns into momentum. This is how you push forward and overcome each and every obstacle. And believe me, there will be so many and plenty of obstacles, but your brain will see your accomplishments and build up and know and how that effort will be built up and it will help you take the step forward for the next action. So let's break it down. If it's weight loss, that is your goal. That's a big goal, which can be possible. So, since many of you listen to me and follow me, you most likely want to lose weight because I talk about that a lot. What is one thing you can do today and tomorrow and the next day and make it a small habit, a small practice, one small thing, just one thing. It could be drinking water every day, at least 100 ounces, maybe cutting out cream and sugar from your coffee every day. You could start small. It could be tracking and logging in your food on an app or in a journal every day. Maybe taking a pause before you reach for those chips and cookies and thinking, why am I hungry? Why am I desiring this unhealthy food? And step back and think about your thoughts. So pick one thing that you could do small on the daily every day and make it a small habit and build up that confidence, a positive habit. This will add momentum towards your goal, which could be losing weight. Or maybe it's not weight loss, maybe it's improving your beauty, maybe you want to improve your skin and improve your skin care, make your skin more healthy. What's one small action you could do daily? Maybe it is making sure you actually wash your face every morning and evening, or maybe it's getting a humidifier and putting it on every evening as you sleep to help moisten your skin. Or maybe it's to meet with a doctor and get on anti-aging cream like trentinoin and apply it to your face on repeat. Or maybe get a skin toner every day to help you hydrate your skin on repeat. So let's pick one tiny action you could do today to achieve that goal. Something so small you can't talk yourself out of it. Something not overwhelming, something you won't dread to do, something to build up your confidence inside you, to teach yourself that you do keep your promises to yourself, something to help build up that trust. So once you make that habit, that one small action on routine, it builds up the trust inside you. You start to feel amazing, you start to feel accomplished and proud. It builds up a glow that others will start to notice and making comments. You'll start searching for more mini habits, more small actions to do, to add to your lifestyle to reach that goal. You'll start adding more. Soon you'll be creating a lifestyle that is living that goal, a lifestyle full of these many little habits and actions that you are completing on the daily, on the weekly, on the monthly, on the quarterly. And trust me, when this happens, you will become a different person, more resilient, more actionable, happier, prouder, and a pleasure to be around. People will notice the difference. People will see the way you carry yourself and see how you act. I am telling you, it is like a midlife glow. You taking these small actions, adding more, and striving to reach your goal is like a glow from the inside out. And before you know it, you will achieve that goal. You will be living like that girl, that lifestyle. And then all of a sudden, you'll have a new goal and you'll start the process all over again because it's the momentum. It's like a snowball. It starts with an idea, a snowflake, and then it builds up, and then you become unstoppable, and then you are living the life of your dreams. I want to remind you that we only get one go-around this thing we call life. Make it yours, make it memorable, make it happy, make it what you want, what you want out of life. So, yes, this is my two cents. This is what I'm sharing with you today. These are my steps, how to get started, to take action, to get what you want, what your goal is. This is how you get started. So I hope this helped you. I hope this gives you the oomph to take that small action to start achieving that goal, whatever it is. Maybe share this with a friend. If you know they have a goal and they haven't taken action yet, maybe this will help them get started. If you'd be so kind to leave a review, it helps other women like you, like me, find the Midlife Glowgetter podcast. If you have any comments or questions, you could email me or DM me on social media. All positive and negative questions and comments, I welcome with open arms. I thank you. I hope you have a great week ahead, and I will check back soon. Love, Jax.