Midlife GlowGetter Awakening Mini Series, Week 3: Healing

You can be responsible, capable, organized, and the one everyone counts on, and still be carrying more than you admit. Week three of the Midlife Glowgetter eight-week awakening mini series is all about the healing pillar, and it’s tender for a reason: so many women in midlife are “fine” on the outside while holding grief, heartbreak, resentment, shame, and the cost of years spent surviving.

We dig into the difference between coping and becoming whole, starting with honest language that stops minimizing what hurt. I talk through one of the biggest healing truths I’ve learned: pain that isn’t processed often becomes behavior. People pleasing, perfectionism, emotional eating, overspending, shutting down, overgiving, and overcontrol can be patterns that make emotional sense when you understand the wound underneath. We also make room for grief that isn’t about death, the losses we rarely name, and the stories we carry inside like “I’m not enough” or “My needs don’t matter.”

Healing isn’t linear, and your body is part of the conversation. We explore nervous system care, why calm can feel unfamiliar after years of go-mode, and how anger can be a doorway back to self-respect and boundaries. I close with reflection questions you can take to your journal or a walk, plus a look at what it means to end self-abandonment and treat yourself with real compassion.

If this speaks to you, share it with a woman who looks strong but feels tired, then follow the podcast for next week’s pillar on the body. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell me what you’re ready to stop carrying.

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Transcript

Welcome And Series Recap

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Well, hello. Welcome back to the Midlife Glowgetter Podcast and to week three of the Midlife Glowgetter eight-week awakening mini series. So over these eight weeks, we are talking through eight powerful pillars of midlife awakening. Awakening, identity, healing body, relationships, power, purpose, and vision. In week one, we talked about awakening, that moment when a woman begins to realize something in her life no longer fits, when the old way of living starts to feel heavy, and when she can no longer comfortably ignore what her soul is trying to tell her. In week two, we talked about identity, the story a woman has been living from, the roles, labels, and survival patterns she has have, she may have confused with her true self, and the possibility of becoming more conscious about who she is and who she is becoming. So if you have not yet listened to week one and week two, which was the last couple weeks, I really want to encourage you to go back and start there because those episodes build up for today's and future episodes. So I would start, you know, two weeks ago. But because once a woman starts awakening and once she starts realizing the old identity no longer fully fits, the next thing that usually rises up is what do I need to heal? And that is what we're talking about today: healing. So today's pillar is healing. And this one is very tender because so many women in midlife are not just tired, they are carrying, they are carrying pain, they are carrying grief, they are carrying resentment and disappointment, they are carrying old heartbreak and shame, self-criticism, they are carrying emotional exhaustion, they are carrying the cost of years spent surviving. And many of them have become so good at functioning that no one, sometimes not even themselves, fully realize how much they are still carrying. That is why this pillar matters so much. A lot of women are functioning but not healed. And I want to start there because I think this is one of the biggest things women need uh language for. A woman can be responsible, high-functioning, capable, productive, dependable, organized, successful, nurturing, and strong, and still not be truly healed. She can, you know, literally hold down a job, raise children, care for parents, pay bills, show up for everybody, keep the house going, keep the peace, keep moving. And all of that can look like strength from the outside. But underneath, she may still be carrying old grief, old fear, old self-protection, old abandonment and body shame, old relationship pain, old money stress, old stories about not being enough. This is why midlife can feel so surprising, because a woman starts realizing I have been doing life, but I have not fully healed in life. And there is a difference. Healing begins when a woman stops pretending she is just fine. I think healing begins with really honesty, not dramatic honesty, not self-pity, not living in the past forever, but honest honesty. The kind that says that hurt me, that changed me, that left a mark. I didn't get what I needed. I'm more tired than I admit. I'm more hurt than I let myself say. I am still carrying things I have tried to minimize. Because a lot of women were trained to survive by minimizing. We say it wasn't that bad. Other people had it worse. I should be over it by now. That was years ago. It doesn't matter anymore. I just need to move on. But what gets buried does not always disappear. It often becomes people pleasing, overworking, controlled, shutting down, emotional eating, overspending, constant busyness, resentment, self-criticism, numbness. Sometimes what looks like a habit problem is actually pain that never had a safe place to go. And the first step is in healing is being willing to say something in me still needs care. So healing is not weakness. I really want to say this because I think so many women still carry shame around needing healing. They think I should be stronger than this and I should be past this by now. Why am I still affected by this? Why am I still reacting like this? Why am I still struggling with this pattern? But needing healing does not make a woman weak. It makes her human. In fact, I think many of the women who need healing most are the very ones that have been the strongest for the longest. The woman who just kept going, held everyone together, did not collapse, did not complain much, did what had to be done, showed up, survived. But survival is not the same as healing. And at some point in midlife, a lot of women realize I do not want to keep coping. I want to become more whole. That is a powerful realization. Sometimes pain becomes patterns. This is one of the biggest healing truths. Pain that is not processed often becomes behavior. And when women understand this, they often feel so much relief because they stop seeing themselves only as flawed and they start seeing themselves as patterned. Why do I shut down? Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why do I emotionally eat? Why do I overspend when I'm stressed? Why do I overact when someone pulls away? Why do I self-sabotage myself? And sometimes the answer is because pain became patterned. Rejection can become people pleasing. Abandonment can become cleanliness or extreme independence. Criticism can become perfectionism. Shame can become hiding. Chaos can become over control. Loneliness can become numbing. Emotional starvation can become overgiving in the hope of finally being chosen. The pattern may not make sense on the surface, but it often makes emotional sense underneath. And that really matters because women need compassion before they can create real change. Healing also often includes grief. I think one of the reasons healing feels so hard is because grief is part of it. And grief is not only about death. A woman may need to grieve the love she did not receive, the marriage she hoped for, the confidence she never got to build, the body she spent years fighting, the years she spent surviving, the friendship that changed, the support she never had, the dreams she buried, the version of herself she has to become to get through life. That grief is real, and many women have never given themselves permission to feel it. They have been so busy moving forward that they never stop to say, this hurt, this mattered, I lost something here, I needed something I did not get. And I think this is why healing can feel emotional in ways women do not expect. Because when healing begins, grief often rises with it, not to destroy them, but to finally be felt. Healing is not just about what happened to you, it is also about what happened inside of you. That is important. Two women can go through similar things and carry them differently. Because healing is not only about the event, it is also about the meaning. What did I make this mean about me? What did I begin believing because of this? What identity formed here? What fear got rooted here? What protection did I start using here? For example, maybe a woman was betrayed and began believing I cannot trust anyone. Maybe she was criticized and began believing I am never enough. Maybe she was unseen and began believing my needs do not matter. Maybe she was abandoned and began believing I am too much and not worth staying for. Maybe she spent years in financial stress and began believing I will always struggle. The pain is one thing. The identity and pattern built around the pain is another. Because it is not only about surviving what happened, it is about becoming less ruled by what happened. Healing is also not linear. I wish more women understood this. Because so many women think healing should look neat. They think I had the insight. Why am I still feeling this? Because healing is layered. It is not a straight line. A woman may think she has passed something and then something happens that touches the old wound again. That does not mean she has failed. It may mean there is just another layer. Healing often looks like clarity, relief, trigger, grief wave, new understanding, rest, deeper honesty, another layer surfacing, more softness, more truth, more peace. And I think women need permission to stop making themselves wrong for healing in layers. Because a wound revisiting you does not mean healing left you. Sometimes it just means your system is ready to go deeper now. The body carries more than women realize. This is something I care deeply about because I think women often try to think their way into healing. But the body carries so much. It carries stress, burnout, old fear, grief, tension, suppressed emotion, survival responses, sleep disruption, exhaustion, shame, disconnection. And a woman may say, I'm fine, but her body may say I'm tired, I'm inflamed, I'm braced, I'm overstimulated, I don't feel safe, I've been caring too much. That is why healing is not just mental, it is also physical. It is rest, slowing down, breathing, nervous system care, walking, stillness, sleep, softness, allowing the body to stop living like danger is always near. Many women have lived in the go mode for so long that calm feels unfamiliar. And healing may include learning how to stop living as if everything is an emergency. Anger can be part of healing too. I think women are often more comfortable with sadness than anger because anger has been made to look unattractive, unfeminine, unspiritual, dangerous, too much. So women just swallow their anger. And swallowed anger often becomes resentment, bitterness, irritability, depression, numbness, self-attack, exhaustion. But anger can feel can carry truth. Sometimes anger says, that was not okay. I have been overgiving too long. A boundary was crossed. I matter too. I am tired of pretending this doesn't hurt. Something has to change. That does not mean anger should run the show, but it does mean anger should be listened to. Because sometimes anger is just the first place a woman starts reconnecting with her self-respect. Healing requires self-compassion. This part is everything. Because a lot of women try to heal by attacking themselves. They say, What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? I should know better. I am too old for this. I keep ruining things. I am a mess. That voice is not healing. That voice is shame. Healing needs a different tone. Not a tone that excuses everything, but a tone that says, Let me understand this. Let me tell the truth. Let me be honest without humiliating myself. Let me see how I survived. Let me care for the parts of me that never got enough care. Self-compassion does not make women weak. It often makes change possible because women are much more likely to grow when they feel safe enough to tell the truth. Healing often means ending self-abandonment. This may be one of the deepest healing truths of all. A lot of women are not only healing from what others did, they are also healing from how long they have been leaving themselves. Self-abandonment can look like saying yes when you mean no, ignoring your body, minimizing your feelings, staying where you are not valued, silencing your needs, calling yourself names, numbing instead of listening, always putting yourself last, acting like your own inner life is an inconvenience. And at some point, healing begins when a woman asks, can I stop leaving myself now? Can I stay with myself now? Can I become more loyal to my own truth now? Can I care for myself differently now? That question changes everything. Healing is not about becoming perfect. I want to say that too. Healing is not becoming flawless. It is not never being triggered, is not always being calm. It is not becoming endlessly polished. Healing is becoming less ruled by old pain. It is becoming more aware, more honest, more compassionate, more boundried, more self-trusting, more able to respond instead of only react. It is becoming someone who can hold herself more gently and lead herself more wisely. That is healing. So before we close this episode, I want to leave you with a few reflection questions. Take them to your journal, take them on a walk, sit with them in honesty. What pain am I still carrying that I tend to minimize? What pattern in my life may actually be connected to an old wound? What am I grieving that I have not fully named? Where do I still feel shame? Where have I been functioning without truly healing? What would it look like to treat myself with more compassion as I heal? Where do I most need to stop abandoning myself? Just sit with that, because sometimes healing does not begin with a big breakthrough. Sometimes it begins with one honest moment where a woman says, I understand now that what I'm carrying makes sense, and I do not want to keep carrying it in the same way. This pillar is such an important one because healing touches everything. It touches your body, your relationships, your confidence, your money, your purpose, your energy, your future. And if this episode stirred something inside you, if you're realizing that there are deeper layers of grief, pain, shame, self-protection, and self-abandonment that need more than just a podcast podcast episode could hold. This is exactly why I'm creating the Midlife Glowgetter Awakening Experience. Because some of this work needs space, it needs guidance, it needs reflection, it needs self-conversation, it needs community, it needs structure. Listening is powerful, but walking through healing in a deeper supported way is something else entirely different. So if this episode spoke to you, stay close. There is more coming. And if you know another woman who is high functioning on the outside but caring more than she lets herself admit, send her this episode. And don't forget to follow this podcast because next week we're moving into pillar four, body. Because once a woman begins awakening, questioning identity, and tending to healing, the next question often becomes how do I rebuild my relationship with my body in this season of life? Until then, remember this you are not weak because you need healing. You are not behind because your pain still matters. You are not broken because you're still carrying things. You are human and healing is allowed. I'll see you in the next podcast episode. Love, Jax.