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Through the eyes of those who were supposed to be counted out! as well as those of us who chose not to limit themselves from impoverished community's or state of minds but those of us who chose to keep questioning and pushing the boundaries that laid before us, using my voice and platform to help others share there our stories of resilience.
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Trials Before Testimony: Finding God in Life's Darkest Moments
Have you ever noticed how everyone rushes to tell the inspirational ending while skipping over the painful journey? The victory testimonies sound great, but they often leave those who are still struggling feeling like their faith isn't strong enough.
Ebony Blue cuts through spiritual platitudes in this raw, unfiltered exploration of finding God in life's darkest valleys. Drawing from the biblical story of Job, she challenges the common practice of emphasizing restoration while glossing over the brutal reality of suffering. Through her personal story of homelessness, abandonment at age 13, and fighting seemingly impossible battles—including regaining custody of her children from a closed adoption—Ebony demonstrates that divine presence is often most powerful precisely when we feel most broken.
"Being abandoned by humans doesn't mean you've been abandoned by your Father," Ebony reminds us, weaving her personal trials with profound spiritual insights. She argues that focusing solely on testimony creates false expectations, while honoring the trial itself reveals how God works within our darkest moments. Rather than offering prosperity promises or quick fixes, she provides something far more valuable: permission to be weary, acknowledgment of pain, and the assurance that divine love operates powerfully in our most broken places.
Whether you're questioning your faith during difficult times or seeking a more authentic spiritual perspective, this episode offers both comfort and challenge. Join this safe space where healing is encouraged without sugarcoating, where real talk leads to real growth, and where you'll discover that sometimes the trial itself is the most powerful testimony of all.
Hey y'all. It's your girl, ebony Blue, and welcome to the Real Spell. I just want to thank you for joining me in my space, where we encourage healing and we don't sugarcoat and we don't glamorize. We keep it real because that's where the healing starts. Today's episode is a raw one. We're diving into something I call the Trial is the Testimony, because sometimes the trial is the message. So grab your tea, sit back or stand in your truth. Let's talk.
Speaker 1:When I picked up my Bible this morning, the verse jumped out at me Isaiah 4 and 3. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. I felt it kind of like whisper to my soul. God reminded me I am here and you will rise. And suddenly I realized being abandoned by humans don't mean that you're broken. It doesn't mean that you have been abandoned by your father either. You know, I used to wonder why people didn't really see me Like I had worked hard, achieved things. I kept pushing, so why didn't it feel like enough? Somewhere along the line I realized that I was attaching my values to what I accomplished, not to who I was, not my love, not my morals, my integrity, my faith. Everybody talks about being honest, but who really out here, living in that truth? They say God has forgiven him, but they still walk around in shame. They call it privacy, but really it's fear, fear of being known and fear of being judged. They say I've leaned on God, but have you, did you lean on him in your lowest moment, when all you had was a scripture, a scripture you barely understood, because me, I loved him, even when I didn't know him, even when all I had was a promise and pain. Let me tell you a story, a real one, a piece of my trial. Hey y'all, and welcome to the Real Spill. My name is Ebony Blue and I'll be your host. This is a very safe space and a private space where you can come and just hear real shit. No sugarcoating, no glamorizing, just real life shit.
Speaker 1:And today I want to talk about Job. I have been on YouTube, tiktok, churches, and everybody would like to tell the story of Job. Everybody would like to tell the story of Job and they tell you about how the devil just took away everything. Oh, job had everything taken away from him. He lost his kids, he lost his money, poor little sheep, you feel me. And they talk about, for a brief second, how he had affliction put upon him, but most of the time they're talking about the testimony of Job, how God restored him, how the blessing was given back to him.
Speaker 1:I hear all these pastors, these messengers, because I don't want to glamorize the mess more than the message, because you never know who God is using and when he's using it, how he's using it right. So I'm not going to take away that. So I'm not going to take away that, but what I take away is, if you're going to share the message, please share the message, because see me as a person I have been without. I've been without a mother, a father, a stable grandparent, my siblings, aunties, uncles. I have been robbed of barbecues and birthdays and Christmases, like I have been robbed of so much right, and I have lacked so much. I have lacked so much. I have lacked direction, education and, with that being said, like growing up as a child and not having direction, like and I mean direction, like yo nobody taught me how to like brush my teeth.
Speaker 1:You know, like a lot of y'all brush your teeth. Do you know why you get up and brush your teeth? You get up and you brush your teeth. Do you know why you get up and brush your teeth? You get up and you brush your teeth? Because your mama got up with your ass and brush your teeth and taught you how, every morning, saying it's time to brush your teeth, brush your teeth before you go to school. So it was instilled in you to brush your teeth, right? So now it's a natural thing. You know to brush your teeth, wash your face, wash your ass Right, it's nature. But what if you grew up homeless? What if you grew up with parents who were addicts, who put a crack pipe before they put, teaching you how to brush your teeth Before they wake up every every morning and say, hey, let's brush your teeth, let's wash your face, let's get you ready for school, right? So now you don't know how to do those things you tossed out in these streets, you don't?
Speaker 1:It's the testimony more important than the trial? Because if the testimony was more important than the trial, then why would God even put you through the trial or allow you to walk through it, however you want to say it, if it was your free will, or God already knows your plan and he has already ordered your steps and he already knows who you are and you know what you was doing. So, however you want to put it, is the testimony more important than the trial? Because everywhere I turn I hear testimony. But what if I didn't even know how to get on here and record myself and make a podcast? Can you tell me how hard it would be to second guess yourself at every turn, to not believe in yourself, to have every person in your life to tell you that you was not worthy enough and that you were not deserving enough and that, like, you're not even smart enough? So imagine the things that you have in you. So even if you did tell yourself that I can do this, how would you do it if you didn't even know where to start? You would be broken, you would be discouraged. More than likely you would quit. Even if you had 10 people on your side telling you you got this and you can do that, it didn't matter, because what is already impression? Impression on the heart. So I want to give you a little bit of trial. I'm going to give you a whole lot of trial and a little bit of testimony, because God is my testimony. Being able to walk through the trial is the testimony. Walk through the trial is the testimony.
Speaker 1:So what if you was a child who grew up and you were actually homeless, with your family, brothers and sisters, mom and dad? What if, everywhere you went, somebody just gave you away and left you, leaving you to feel abandoned, unwanted? What if you were put out at the age of 13 and told to, told to fend for yourself, literally, and everybody want to pop that shit like oh, I got, I got it, I can do it. But do you really know what it's like to be a 13-year-old girl with nowhere to go? Or maybe even a boy? But we talking about me, a 13-year-old girl with nowhere to go. A gangbanger brought me in and taught me how to sell drugs and keep myself. That same man had to teach me about my psycho. He had enough smarts to at least take me to his woman so that she could teach me, but still he was there. Can you imagine the shame that I had? My mom was somewhere running around getting high with the people in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about some trials, how God can take you from one place. Let's talk about Job right, because when they tell the story story, they don't remind you that you are Job. The reason why we have the Bible is the basic instructions before leaving earth, and these parables and these stories are to relate to you, so that you could connect, so that you can plug into a source, so that you could never feel alone, because everyone out here in this world, they'll leave you to feel alone while using God. While using God, they will lead you into places that you can't even find your way out of. Let's talk about how, how Job turned to all of his friends and he asked them why.
Speaker 1:Surely you know the first thing out of their mouth is surely you did something? Surely you must have not did this and not did that. You must have angered them in some way. But how could you anger your God, a God that basically sent himself here so that he could not be angry with you, so that he could have understanding and grace upon you, your God that walked in your shoes, in your shoes, people spitting on him and beating on him and telling him that he ain't the son of God, even though he was there in the beginning, one with God? So when you talk about Job, job did go to his friends and Job did feel sorry, job did feel abandoned, job did feel like God had forgotten or God didn't have mercy. But your God does not condemn you, because when they tell that story they forget to tell the part where it was like God was like yo.
Speaker 1:You see, my boy Joe, surely he is a good man. Satan said why would he be? Why would he be anything other than a good man? Because everything is good. And I tell people like this in my life on an everyday basis, because you know, everybody want to be like oh well, it was like this and it was like that. But no, my nigga, we was cool, we were really cool, we were in a great space, so everything was cool when we had that conversation. So there was no friction. But now that there's friction, you're not understanding. You want to be quick to anger. You feel me. So when everything is good, how could you, how could you ask for any credit or any kudos or any accolades or any of those things for my lack of better words right now when you didn't have a trial, when you were not standing in the midst of something, you did not rise to the occasion, everything was good.
Speaker 1:So back to my boy Job. Satan says man you bugging. Of course he praising you, of course he loving you, of course he worshiping you. Know why he worshiping you? Because everything is good. God turned and looked at that nigga and was like well then, guess what? Chief, keep bug up on him, let me see what you can do. Go ahead and do anything that you can do, but do not touch a hair on his head, do not harm my anointed. But go ahead, let me see what you got. Throw your best at him. Remember he said the weapon. He didn't say it wouldn't be for him, but he said it shall not prosper. That's what he said. So, even though he told Satan to go ahead and do whatever he was going to do, right, he allowed Satan to go ahead and do whatever he was going to do, right? He allowed Satan to go ahead and do whatever he was going to do. Don't take his breath, because that is mine. So that's how the bad times fell upon Job. The bad times fell upon Job because Satan went after him.
Speaker 1:With the grace of God, and even though he had did all of those things to Job, god was like what's up with my boy Joe? Satan was like oh well, surely that wasn't nothing, that was just a little house, a little few people. You feel me? He got help. Of course he would praise you. Why wouldn't he? He still can walk, he still can talk, he's still out here looking good, you feel me? So God said surely go on and do what you need to do then, because I know me and Job is right. So it didn't matter how many times Job questioned or asked his friends like what do you think? Or da-da-da-da-da, he went and renewed himself with his Lord, Despite what, he was going around, running his mouth, talking about his feet, was beating another, walking to another beat.
Speaker 1:So I sit here as a woman who has been raped, robbed, kidnapped, shot at. I've had my children taken from me while I had given them to somebody. I sit here with being able to achieve full custody of my children from a closed adoption, something that they say is completely impossible, and I felt that way. I went inside that courtroom every week, every month, anytime I thought I could do it, anytime I got out of self and then I got into my life. I went up there and tried to find a way, but you know what they told me? Ain't no way, girl, get up out of here. Get up out of here.
Speaker 1:And I just want to talk to y'all about how good God is and like how he works. So when you tell the story of Job, please tell the story of the trial and not the testimony, because you're all out here trying to gain off the story of Job and somebody's trials. You're trying to give them false hope because us, as human beings, we go around, we look at, we go shopping, because we be looking for that thing that's tangible, instead of truly filling them with the word of God. And I don't need you to go and quote the Bible, because I can read the Bible for myself. And in that Bible are the stories of the people who went through the trials, real trials where there was a murderer, there was a man looking to kill Jesus, and you know what he did Turned him into a prophet. What he did Turned him into a prophet. Let's talk about the anguish of that Knowing that you sought after to kill him and now you have to walk with him. Come on, somebody. Is the trial greater than the testimony? Yes, yes indeed, because I need to relate, I need to understand, I need to feel so if you're going to be out here giving a message of hope. If you want to be the messenger, if you want to help bridge the gap between the church and Jesus himself, then please lead with your heart and not with your mind.
Speaker 1:I have been through all of the things that Job had been through. I have been through all of the things that Job had been through. I have been stripped of finances. I lived in a motel for like 10 years. Not one cousin, not one auntie, not one godmother, not one person said hey, honey, you been out there in the streets, you want to spend a night? Can I fix you a meal? My great granny told me that You're the only one we don't have to worry about because you're going to figure it out. Yeah, because I'm going to sleep in the street, because I'm not coming to ask you for nothing. I'm going to rely on my Lord. If I got to sleep in the street, if I got to sleep in the car tonight, if I got to eat out of the trash, can? I'm not coming to you for nothing because you cannot suffice me into you for nothing, because you cannot suffice me, especially if you can't tell the truth.
Speaker 1:They speak with their tongue, praising the testimony of how good God was because they sowed a seed of belief. Because they sowed a seed of belief. So now we're exchanging, right, we're bartering with God, like if you do this with me and then I'm going to do that for you, you don't have to do that, because he already promised you a life that he already knows. So every time you feel bad or you think you have messed up, just repent, because he already forgave you, because he is perfect. How could someone who is perfect have to forgive you? Why would I have to forgive you? Because I've already forgiven you. I am perfect. So I don't condemn you. I do not judge you. Am I mad sometimes that you don't choose me? Are you mad because sometimes you think I don't hear you?
Speaker 1:So when we tell the story of Job, can we remind people that it's okay to be weary? Can we stop telling people don't be weary? It's okay to be weary. Can we stop telling people don't be weary? The part that makes you human is that you will fall weary. He said I am at my best when you are at your meekest, in layman terms, when your dog ass ain't got shit and nothing. That is when I prevail the most. That is when you see the grace that I have placed upon your head, man.
Speaker 1:I want to talk about Job, because when I hear Job I'm reminded that I am blessed, I am anointed, and just because I fall short doesn't mean I'm going to fall short of his glory, because as long as I can find a way to call on him and ask him, then I have already been promised to be all right. It breaks my heart to hear that we so ready to get through the trial. I think it's first James, right, and it's two and four, and I am going to just paraphrase here. He says to like not worry when you're going through the trials Of many kinds. It says, because through those trials comes perseverance to you, and surely perseverance will make you mature and complete and be without lacking. So the trial is very much more important than the testimony.
Speaker 1:I don't want to hear about your car, or I don't want you getting on here sitting in your rented Airbnb space for the day, making me believe that you are out of your trial, because until the day that you are resting and you are in Abraham's bosom waiting like the rest of us, even Satan ain't in hell. Even Satan still got to wait on the big dude so that he might be judged. So don't allow the ruckus and the chaos of what is going on distract you from the goodness and the mercy of God. So, after the devil put the afflictions on Job and he was walking around with them big old boils, what would you do? And he didn't go through that to be restored because, remember, job already had these things. So life will just life you, but you need to be prepared.
Speaker 1:I really don't have much to say today besides leaving you with that. This is just. I really don't have much to say today besides leaving you with that. This is just an introduction to who I am and what I stand for. And if you are afraid to be real about the ill, and if you can't spill, then you can't receive. So I just want to thank you guys for spending this time with me and getting to know me, and hopefully I have inspired you or touched your heart in some way that you are able to go and renew yourself. And if I haven't, it's okay. It's okay.
Speaker 1:This isn't a place where we want to force religion or politics or sexualities on anyone. This is a place where I'm going to come here and I'm going to share my truths, my trials and a little bit of testimony, because the proof is in the pudding. When you go and Google me and you look at my work and you see the progress from one place to the next, when you see that I came from being what they call the product of your environment, growing up, gangbanging, selling your body to any man that will promise you anything a hope, a dream, a few minutes, some cash. It didn't matter. I was so starved, I was so desperate, I was looking, I was alone, I was afraid and there were more people seeking to devour me than there was seeking to lead me, guide me and teach me. But because I had the faith the size of a freaking mustard seed, god watered it for me and when I could only take one step, he took two Because I showed up. So if you show up here, I promise that we will pour encouragement, we will instill love principles and help you decide what your morals and your ethics and what your integrity is. We will support you in any way that we can. This is a safe space. This is a safe space, a safe space, and I'm just so fired up that I had enough courage to come and share my truths with you, that I was able to show up and not worry about being seen visually, spiritually or emotionally. Not worry about being seen Visually, spiritually or emotionally.
Speaker 1:I could have set this up a bunch of different ways. I could have had an awesome intro. I could have went to a studio and paid for all these things and had to do it perfect. But where do you see perfect besides God? So remember that when we share God's love, when we share testimonies and not the trial. Thank you, guys for joining me here at the Real Spill. Have a great evening, peace. That's a podcast, that's a broadcast. I told you you can do it, didn't? I tell you nothing's perfect and you did a good, awesome job. Thank you, best friend.
