Beloved Is Your Birthright | Ep. 2

Why is it so hard for us to feel beloved? Why do we feel so unworthy of love when it is part of our eternal identity? There are so many voices out there that lie to us about the really important truth of who we really are. It isn't surprising to me that the way we feel about ourselves and the way we date and marry are so connected.

As we go throughout this episode, I share some of my shame and how I've confronted the voices that tell me I'm not good enough. Then we'll explore some practical ways to embrace our belovedness and let that truth change our lives. 

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

Welcome back to Single to the Glory, a cozy podcast for Latter-day Saints singles. I'm Aleah, and I'm so glad you're here. In today's episode, I want to help you hear the voice that calls you beloved. Come, get comfy, and let's chat.

Speaker 0:48

We are all looking for love. And I know that we all know that God is love. But why is it so hard for us to feel beloved? Why do we feel so unworthy of love when it is part of our eternal identity? There are so many voices out there that lie to us about the really important truth of who we are. It isn't surprising to me that the way we feel about ourselves and the way we date and marry are so connected. I believe cherishing our divine relationship with God and Jesus Christ is essential to having the capacity to love and be loved and ultimately to have our lives enriched by divine, fulfilling relationships.

Speaker 1:36

But before we explore all of that, it's time for Aleah's affirmations. I want you to hear truth spoken over your life and your circumstances. These words are here to set the tone for personal revelation.

Speaker 1:51

First, I want you to take a deep breath in. Let's do it again. In and out.

Speaker 2:20

You are worthy of his grace. You are worthy of his embrace, not because of anything you've done, but because of who you are. You were created with divine purpose and eternal worth. You are known, you are seen, you are desired by him. Try to rest in the truth of his love. Let it steady your heart. Remember, God's love for you is not earned. It is not withdrawn when you falter. It is not changeable like the love you may feel from others. It is a constant presence in your life, surrounding you, sustaining you, and gently calling you home.

Speaker 3:10

Take a moment to ponder what came to your heart. Keep these feelings close as we go forward.

Speaker 3:17

This is episode two of Single to the Glory.

Speaker 3:31

So tell me, what's wrong with you? Why will you never be loved?

Speaker 3:38

I think I know what you're thinking, because I'm thinking it too.

Speaker 3:42

I'm not enough. I'm not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, sweet enough, happy enough, good enough. I'm not anything enough.

Speaker 3:54

I'm too broken, both fractured pieces and oppressive weight. There is too much to slog through, too much to deal with.

Speaker 4:04

I lack faith, I lack hope. I fail God and I fail myself. There's so much more I could do, but I do nothing. Ultimately, I am nothing. Who could ever want me?

Speaker 4:23

We live in a world where these kinds of voices haunt us, taunt us, and speak with such cutting authority, we believe they are true.

Speaker 4:33

Dutch priest Henri J. M. Nowen once wrote that the trap of self-rejection is, quote, "the greatest enemy of the spiritual life, because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the beloved. Being the beloved expresses the core truth of our existence. That voice has always been there, but it seems that I was much more eager to listen to other louder voices saying, prove that you are worth something, do something relevant, spectacular, or powerful, and then you will earn the love you so desire. Meanwhile, the soft, gentle voice that speaks in the silence and solitude of my heart remained unheard, or at least unconvincing." End quote.

Speaker 5:17

I was unconvinced in late 2021.

Speaker 5:24

Amid foggy breaths and muddy sidewalks, I saw an old friend from my home stake at a Christmas farmer's market. We hadn't really kept in touch, but we were friends on social media, and I had followed her six-year journey with cancer. She had recently announced her transition to hospice care, her post a general goodbye and thank you to life. On that December evening, she was bound to a wheelchair, but smiling wide. We shared a few pleasantries and wished each other a happy holiday. As she wheeled away, bundled up in a BYU blanket and trying to push through the crowds with her family, I knew it would be the last time I ever saw her. It felt like a very precious gift.

Speaker 6:11

When she passed two months later, I was surprised at how deeply it affected me. After all, we hadn't been close, but I couldn't stop feeling the loss of her. I kept thinking, it should have been me. She left behind a young daughter and a large loving family. That's when those familiar voices of self-rejection overwhelmed me.

Speaker 6:39

You're nothing, they said. You're broken to the point of uselessness. You're expendable, and how can you be here when a beautiful mother and family were torn apart? I'd been struggling with my mental health and saw myself as a waste. It was so hard to unravel the shame of begging God that your life could be over when you knew there were others who'd give anything to stay. Even after many years and a lot of healing, she still crosses my mind, and I can't help but wonder why I'm here and she's not.

Speaker 7:21

Not all of the voices I hear are as serious as the ones that cold winter. Sometimes they come when I don't feel my outfit looks good, or when the guy who asked for my number takes my friend out on a date instead. Sometimes they come when I'm in a ballet class, comparing my body to others, or when I sit in the celestial room of the temple and don't have an experience that feels connected or meaningful.

Speaker 7:49

In these times, I think of the Garden of Eden and how quickly our divine nature was manipulated and distorted. After partaking of the fruit, the adversary told Adam and Eve they needed to hide. Never before had they thought to distance themselves from God, but suddenly it seemed like the only thing to do. God had to call for them, seek them out from their hiding place. I don't believe it was just about fear or shame. It was the introduction of all these insidious voices that contradict the intimacy and safety of our relationship with a loving Heavenly Father. We have been beguiled and harmed by these lies ever since.

Speaker 8:39

What is a lie you've been telling yourself? Where do you think it came from?

Speaker 8:47

It seems to me God's role as our father and our divine nature as his beloved children are at the root of our feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and rejection. It's this relationship that needs to be protected and nurtured with ferocity if we are truly to step into our divine destiny. I'm so sorry that you haven't had more voices of goodness and love to wash over you. So here's the truth. You are the Lord's beloved. You are made of the stuff of eternity, and when he looks at you, he sees something that is worthy of giving up everything for. He has already done it.

Speaker 9:38

We sometimes get it into our minds that we are merely tolerated, that your humanity bothers God, and connecting with you is a chore, that you're a disappointment. Maybe you believe that all you deserve in your low and terrible state is a half-hearted God, who at best shrugs his shoulders and doesn't meet out the consequences you so deserve. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our heavenly parents and Jesus Christ are naturally and instinctively drawn to you. They delight in being close to you. Their entire purpose is to work with you through this mortal journey so you can come home. They adore you and long for you.

Speaker 10:24

When you feel constrained by sin, chained by mental health issues, exhausted from physical stress, or any manner of mortal issue, they do not seek distance. They want to draw you closer, hold you tighter, and veil more of your true divinity to light your way in the dark. Please, please try to listen to the voice that calls you beloved. Even if it feels like a fantasy, even if you feel prideful, weak, or undeserving, I promise you it's the truth, founded in beautiful doctrine shared across God's Word.

Speaker 11:05

I love the scripture from the Book of Mormon. It's 2 Nephi 26, 24 through 25. Quote, He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world, for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life, that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation. Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying, Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay, but he saith, Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, by milk and honey, without money and without price.

Speaker 11:48

Do we feel that in our bones that he is calling after us? Come, come and be abundantly filled. Come and be my beloved. That's often where I struggle. How do I become the beloved?

Speaker 12:05

Beloved is our birthright, but it's a birthright we need to claim. It's not just a title, it's a role, one exemplified by our Savior. I think claiming belovedness isn't about suddenly feeling worthy. It's about practicing belief before your feelings catch up. We can begin by identifying the negative voices for what they are. When a voice tells you, you're nothing, don't argue with it for hours. Try and label it. Say, that is not God's voice. That small act creates space for truth to enter. It isn't to negate our problems or dismiss our pain. It simply allows us the room to say that our darkest feelings about ourselves may not be the truth. Calling on truth, even if it doesn't change our immediate experience, is calling on God's power.

Speaker 13:07

Elder Karl D. Hirst explored this idea when he said, quote, so if God's love does not leave us, why don't we always feel it? Just to manage your expectations, I don't know. But being loved is definitely not the same as feeling loved. For a season at least, perhaps you will not be able to feel his love and knowledge will have to suffice. End quote.

Speaker 13:33

I know that isn't the most comforting thought, but for me, knowing that the truth of my belovedness exists outside of the confinement of my feelings arms me with a clear voice against the lies. When overwhelmed, being able to say that God's love is true and faithful and that I am beloved can ring out and begin in a small way to drown out everything else I'm ruminating on. As we learn to disregard other voices, we also become more receptive to the true voice of God.

Speaker 14:10

I think that's the natural next step. We discover how he speaks to us in intimate and personal ways. We find time and carve out space to hear him. Becoming the beloved means making room for the voice that calls us that. It might be five quiet minutes in the car before work. It might be writing a prayer instead of spiraling at night. It might be asking, God, how do you see me right now? And waiting instead of filling the silence.

Speaker 14:45

President Russell M. Nelson offered this invitation that I think is really powerful. Quote, learn for yourselves who you really are. Ask your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ how he feels about you and your mission here on earth. If you ask with real intent, over time the Spirit will whisper the life-changing truth to you. Record those impressions and review them often, and follow through with exactness. I promise you that when you begin to catch even a glimpse of how your Heavenly Father sees you and what he is counting on you to do for him, your life will never be the same. End quote.

Speaker 15:46

I love that he listens to my voice, but I want to learn to love listening to him as well. The more we fall in love with the sound of God's voice, the more evidence we'll find for our belovedness. We will see it in our past, our present, and our future. Rejoicing in our relationship with the Lord and being excited about it leads to praise and worship and connection. What do you think of when you hear the word worship? I always think of the Unitarian church I visited as a child that welcomed us with singing and clapping. Sing, dance, laugh, write, express your love for God. There is so much joy to be had in worship. It can be more abundant than we realize.

Speaker 16:37

Finally, I found this all leads to a deep desire, even a calling, to help other people recognize their belovedness. That is a sign for me that I am really living as the beloved, that I want everyone else to know it too. Here's another great quote from Elder Hirst.

Speaker 16:58

Quote, if you do feel filled with love in this season of your life, please try and hold on to it as effectively as a sieve holds water. Splash it everywhere you go. One of the miracles of the divine economy is that when we try to share Jesus' love, we find ourselves being filled up. End quote.

Speaker 17:30

Speak to yourself like someone God treasures. Bring your mess to him instead of hiding it. When the accusing voices come, don't debate them. Cast them from you and replace them with the voice of God. Jesus was beloved. He was broken and ultimately he was given for us. We are beloved. We are chosen. We are blessed. We are broken and ultimately given in our own process of taking on our birthright of belovedness. I believe it is an act not only of faith, but of courage to believe in his voice. This next week, I want you to think about what God's voice sounds like to you. How do you feel it? When does it come? Knowing we are loved by him starts by understanding how to communicate with him. I know he is calling you. He can't help himself. After all, you are his beloved.

Speaker 18:39

Thank you for joining me today. If any of these principles have touched your heart, or you want to learn more, visit singletotheglory.com and download the study guide for this episode. It includes questions and study prompts, resources, and even art. I hope it helps you.

Speaker 19:12

Let's close with prayer.

Speaker 19:14

Father, we come before thee humbly as children, as daughters and sons, looking to connect with their father. We know we're far away, and we feel far away from thee so often, and that separation is painful. We carry within us so much doubt. But we ask that thy love can be so present in our lives that it can make the doubt flee. That even in our weaknesses, even as we struggle, that we can have such confidence in who we are that we turn time and time again to thee and to thy son, that we might be sanctified, that we might be redeemed, that we might take on this role of belovedness in our lives. Father, we know there are so many people out there who struggle to know that they're loved, who don't feel loved. Even as we wrestle with our own feelings, please give us the courage to reach out, to notice the one, to be willing to step into where the Savior would be so that we can do good, so we can share the divinity of thy children with all the world. Father, I ask that today all of those who are listening to my voice can be connected to thee in a more intimate, personal way. That in some small moment today and throughout the intervening days, that they can feel so loved that it can be clear, that it can be unmistakable, that it can bolster them up, to give them strength and courage. Father, we're grateful for thy son who embodies love, who loved us so much that he gave his life. We're so grateful for thy love, for all the sacrifices thou hast made, most of all of thy son. That there is so much love in eternity when we look. Help us see it more, help us feel it more. May we live in that truth, today and always. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.