Sperm Wrecked

The Epstein files are sending the MAGA world into a tailspin, and Jonathan and Tom are here to break down the fallout. Later, the conversation gets personal with a deep dive into their religious upbringings.

Transcript

Jonathan: [00:00:00] What's up? What's up, up? We did it. We did it. This is number four. No homo podcast, episode number four. We did it. This is the No Homo podcast with Jonathan and Tom. I am Jonathan. I'm Tom. What are we doing here, Tom? 

Tom: We're two best friends, one straight, one gay, riffing on their daily lives. The insanity of current events.

What it means to be a man gassing each other up while the world. Burns. Boom. Nailed it. One take wonder. I love it. E episode four. We're recording this on July 14th, Monday, July 14th. 

Jonathan: Monday, July 14th. It's a hot day. We are both, I think, dressed for the, the hot New York summer. It's a rough one out there. I mean, 

Tom: I put mine on 'cause you have yours on.

Jonathan: It's usually, usually I'm doing whatever Tom's doing. This is a, it's a new role reversal here. I like it. I'm, I'm usually not the one in charge, I'm not leading the pack. It's, it's, it's an interesting place to be. 

Tom: Well, I was the original Jona fan. [00:01:00] 

Jonathan: You're really gonna work to make that stick, huh? I like it. I I appreciate it.

I like it. That's a pretty good segue too. It is because, uh, it, it is lovely that you have coined the phrase Jona fans, but we have our own fans now. We have listeners, we have supporters of the pod, and they're not just Johnathan. We need a name. For, for everyone who is a pod supporter. Yeah. We're we're taking suggestions.

I was thinking about no Homers, no homers. Hmm. Okay. It it's something. There's something there. It's not an immediate Yes. It's, well, yeah. I don't know. Uh, it's not an immediate yes, but let's put it out there. That's right. Let's you, let's people reach out to us. Give us a shout. Do you like No. Homers, do you have other ideas?

Uh, I feel like we. Probably just like the homos aren't gonna work. Like, that's not really a, a way we can go probably. Um, the No homos, the No homos. The nomos. I don't know the, no, that doesn't really, none of that makes, I don't know. No hoan, no hoan. Sure. Okay. I, I mean, I think that right [00:02:00] now no homies and no homers are a one and two.

So you're doing great so far. Thanks. Thanks. 

Tom: I try, I try. You know, 

Jonathan: I do. I can. Um, but we do, we have people listening and it's very exciting. It's, you know, I, I think that it's worth celebrating our small, incremental steps. We have over 100 subscribers on YouTube now. We have almost 500 downloads of the episodes we have out, you know, which is, it's amazing.

Not exactly, you know, uh, Scott Galloway kind of numbers, but it is, it is it, they're numbers. That's great for us. They're numbers. I'm excited for us. 

Tom: Yeah, I'm excited too. Yeah. It's really exciting to hear from people and Yeah, to hear from people from my past and, and my life and to hear from total strangers, uh, both equally exciting.

And, um, we survived another week without killing each other, I think. Yeah. Yeah. We did. We did great this week 

Jonathan: I think. I think right? We did great. Yeah. Yeah. Here we are. Yeah, we made it. We made it. Here we are. Um. Oh no, I had something I was gonna say and I lost [00:03:00] it. Oh, what? This is bad podcasting. Okay, take over please.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I wanted to talk about my weekend. Okay. Pull that game down door. Back up a little bit. Pull my back up a little. Just back up a little bit. There you go. Super hot. There you go. You are super hot. You're just super hot. I can't, bro. Bro, thank you. 

Tom: This is the best you've ever looked. 

Jonathan: No, stop it.

Thank you. This is the best. Yeah, it's so kind of hearsay when you signed 

Tom: on with that haircut and the arms and the Scottish tan. Woo. I was excited. I was excited for me. I was excited for the listeners at home. Um, oh, the listeners aren't really gonna benefit from this. I was excited for the viewers. 

Jonathan: The viewers.

Yeah. Go to YouTube. Go watch. Go watch us on YouTube. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Our OnlyFans 

Tom: only Fans. 

Jonathan: Fans. Let's start OnlyFans. Great. Let's do that. I, I 

Tom: also think there's a lot of people that just watch the clips, which is awesome. Thank you for watching the clips, and, and we, we love it. Please keep watching them.

Yeah. Um, I, I, I've, I've also heard from a lot of people who are like, and these are people I know well, who are like, yeah, I don't really do [00:04:00] podcasts. Sure. Which is like a really nice way of being like, I'm never gonna listen to your podcast. Listen, this is cool. That's fine. Yeah. 'cause 

Jonathan: you're my best friend and you don't really do long form reels on Instagram.

No, no, no. So this is the only way I can get you to pay attention to my content is to make you sit down and do a podcast with me. So you hear what I'm saying on the internet. True. That, true. That, 

Tom: true 

Jonathan: That. But other than, other than, uh, keeping up with my content. What's been going on with you? What? Have you been up too recently?

Well, I, 

Tom: we, I went to go see Superman on Friday night. Okay. Uh, with, with Quan, my fiance and our friend Forest, and it was my idea. I scheduled the whole thing. I was really excited about it. And movie, I got us nine 50 tickets. Okay. We live, we live across the street from the movie theater. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Don't put that out there, man.

The fans are gonna be coming. The no homers are gonna come for you. They're, they lined up outside the door 

Tom: and uh, and it was like 9 5 0 9 50 pm on a Friday night. And we sat down in the theater, which now has, uh, the seats that. Incline. No. Really? Yeah. [00:05:00] They're like slowly redoing it. So the theater we were in, holy cow.

Yeah, but they were leather seats or like a fake leather. Mm. And it was hot. The air conditioning was not good. And I got tired and at about 10 30 I turned to them and said, I'm gonna go home. And I left.

Bro couldn't do it. Lemme get the 

Jonathan: timing. 'cause I did not see that coming. I did not expect that to be what was happening. The timing. The nine 50 movie. Yeah. Which means the movie doesn't start until 10, 20, 10, 15, right? Like nine maybe. It was more like, 

Tom: I saw like 20. I saw it probably a half hour of the movie.

Jonathan: Of the half hour of the movie. 

Tom: Yeah. And 

Jonathan: then you were like, I have to go home and go to bed. 

Tom: I, I was fighting it and part of me was like, I could just sleep here, but it was so hot I couldn't sleep and my bed was feet away. That's true. And you know what, I'm, 

Jonathan: I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. A, a younger, less confident man would've stuck that out and been miserable and sat there.

But you could say, you know, but this is 

Tom: not a comment on the movie at all. And I intend to go back and watch it. And I [00:06:00] was very excited about it. I loved what I saw. I 

Jonathan: heard that you walked out 'cause of. Because of Woke Superman. What I'm hearing is that you walked out on Woke Superman. 

Tom: No, dude. I loved all the woke stuff.

I love the fact that Lex Luther was definitely Elon Musk. I love the fact that Superman was definitely an immigrant. He is an immigrant. 

Jonathan: He is a fucking immigrant. I love this. He's always been an immigrant. Steven Miller was like, he's an orphan, not an immigrant. He's a fucking alien. He's literally an alien.

Yeah. Yeah. Was hilarious. Yeah. So yeah. But, but you would say the, the first 20 minutes or so, thumbs up, you're excited to see the rest at Yeah. At, at a sensible matinee. 

Tom: Yeah. What I saw, I liked, I'm excited to go back. Great. Um, and then we went to go visit a high school friend who live has a house on Shelter Island, um, out in the Hamptons.

Oh yeah. And so we spent the weekend out there. Yeah. Fancy. Um, shelter Island is a little island, sort of, um, just north of like the. The Hamptons, and it's an island, so you have to take a ferry with your car. There's no bridge to it. Uh, so it's a little sleepier than the Hamptons. Uh, but they've got a really great house with a pool.

Um, and it was really [00:07:00] fun. And we went to the, the neighborhood grocery store and Sure, in the grocery store, when you walk into the IGA on Shelter Island to the right is. A store, a clothing store. Um, the owners of IGA, his son, uh, who helps manage the store, wanted to start a clothing line, and his parents were like, no, you can't.

I met him super hot too. 

Jonathan: Yeah, 

Tom: I met him and he was like, and one day when they weren't here, I just cleared out an area instead of a store. So he's incredible. He's doing really well. His name is Anthony p Perone. Uh, perche. I don't know. Anthony, I love you, man. Your stuff's great. Really talented designer, beautiful stuff.

Um, he's been featured in gq. There's a whole article about him. Where is Madonna's son? Might have the same hat as me. Um, so, uh, that's my little shout out to Anthony. Uh, supermarket. Is the name of the store? S-P-R-M-A-R-K-T. 

Jonathan: Oh good. I read that as sperm wrecked at first, so I'm glad that it's supermarket market.

Supermarket is 

Tom: basically [00:08:00] supermarket without any of the vowels. I get it. That's so you find it on Instagram. It's also 

Jonathan: kind of sperm wrecked without the vowels too. But supermarket I like, I mean, maybe 

Tom: that's on purpose. I mean. 

Jonathan: Who doesn't love to get sperm, right. Anthony? Great work. I, because Tom, uh, keeps a really, runs a really tight ship as to who we're going to, uh, let sponsor our show and shout, shout out our show.

But now, now he's gonna be hot and Tom will give you a free shout out no matter what. We're making $0 with four episodes. And he is like, fuck it. I'm just giving away sponsors giving away shout outs. Just listen, you're, 

Tom: you're not the only one who can Hawk wears now. 

Jonathan: Yeah. I'm glad to see that you can do it too.

That's exciting, man. Thanks man. Thanks man. 

Tom: Tell me about your weekend. 

Jonathan: Uh, my weekend, uh, was a lot of fun. I, um, we had some family stuff in Connecticut, uh, but I also, um, ended up, I I was in the paper recently. I just, uh, kind of found out, uh, yeah, in the, in the IRL in the real world. I was in the newspaper in the, um, uh, a small paper, a small town paper in Connecticut.

Um, but, uh, I think we talked about it, uh, a few weeks ago. I, um, and you might have seen, well, you didn't see the reel I posted, but some of the no homers out there might have seen the [00:09:00] reel that I posted about the, uh, Georgetown Day Festival in Connecticut where there was a, a, a classic, like a vintage, uh, army Jeep, um, from World War ii.

And, uh, sitting in the backseat was a mannequin. There were a couple mannequins all in their, uh, army garb, and one of them was a fucking Nazi, like just a. Was just a Nazi. And it wasn't like they were, one of the 

Tom: mannequins was a Nazi, one of the 

Jonathan: mannequins was a, was a, was had a, a swastika and like, was a full on Nazi.

And, uh, not like chained up, not like in trouble, just the mannequin was just kinda chilling in the back of this Jeep. And so I, uh, you know, brought it up, uh, in a, a reel. And it's funny because I always wonder like. You know, how much in the real world this matters at all? You know, sometimes I, it's kind of like it is an echo chamber and I like to think of it as a place we can huddle and we can all, you know, talk to each other and then we have to go out in the world and have to do something with it.

And so when I went to the internet to complain about this, uh, Nazi, I wasn't sure if anything was gonna happen. 'cause I couldn't find, like, I wasn't sure who to talk to at the event I wasn't, you know, and it was like, kind of winding down. I was there with my kids. I didn't wanna like. [00:10:00] Really cause a big scene.

Mm-hmm. Just be like, Hey, you know, or, or like, just take the me out and throw it away or something. Um, so I put this reel up and it did, it, made it to, uh, word got around and the, the guy, um. Who owned the Jeep and who had that stuff, uh, came out and said he apologized. It wasn't supposed to be that kinda, it was supposed to just like historical blah, blah, blah.

Which I'm kinda like, man, have a little bit more awareness of what's going on around you. Uh, I believe you, I believe that you weren't trying to promote, uh, a Nazi agenda, but also like, you know, maybe have some awareness. But Jesse Wright, the editor from, uh, the paper from, uh, that posted this, uh, that put the article out there, said that I, um.

Never responded to comment. I did not respond with a comment in time, uh, for the article to be published. And I'm not trying to start beef. I just didn't ever hear from Jesse. I like, I don't know if they tried to DM me and it didn't get through, or I think she mentioned my LinkedIn, which I don't even know if that's like, I.

Look, I barely have a real job. I don't know about my LinkedIn. So, Jesse, right? This is not, I'm not trying to start [00:11:00] beef. I'm just saying if you are out there and hear this, I would love to follow up and I apologize that I couldn't get a, couldn't, you couldn't get to me. Um, I would, you know, I think the story might be done.

It might be another, like lukewarm take, might have just like missed the, the, the timing of that one, but. In case, Jesse, you listen to this, um, uh, gimme a shout and I would love to, I'd love to chat. One other thing that I ran into this weekend, I was with my, uh, sister-in-law and I think that you might be able to help me here.

Because I know that you, uh, have a lot of Jewish friends, and I know that you, uh, have spent a lot of time, if the, anybody listening to the episodes knows that Tom really respects the Jewish religion and he's read a lot of books on it and, uh, has a lot of friends. And so my sister-in-law who is Jewish, why do I 

Tom: feel like you're making fun of me?

Jonathan: Well, I'm gonna take something that a a, an actual Jewish person said, I wanna see what you think about it, and we can put it out there to the world and see what everyone thinks about it. But she, I picked up bagels and I got in trouble. For calling the Blueberry Bagels. Bagels. And she said those are just round [00:12:00] muffins because bagels should not be sweet.

Sweet Bagels are an attempt to erase Judaism from the heritage, from the culture of bagels. Uh, and I had never heard that, but she is herself a, uh, Jewish woman. So I feel like I. Gotta listen to her, but thoughts? Yeah. I, 

Tom: I, I would defer, I mean, I have Jewish friends, but I don't mean to speak for also what is Jewish and what is not Jewish.

Jonathan: Yeah. My, my wife is Jewish and she thinks that that's a ridiculous thing to say. So maybe it's just my sister-in-law. Um, I don't know. But that's another one for the, uh, for the no homers, uh, what do you think are sweet bagels? Okay. Um, anyway, that's what my weekend was like. 

Tom: That's a good weekend, man. Did you eat the bagel?

Jonathan: Yeah. Okay. No, I ate, I ate the round muffin, I think is what I'm supposed to call it. I dunno. 

Tom: Speaking of round muffins, did you watch them just like that this week? 

Jonathan: Boy did I and Oh yeah. Um, I mean, I we're just, we're correct about how bad the show is, right? I mean, like, [00:13:00] it's just, it's. It's, it is, it is. I think it is becoming a more fun hate watch than it was.

There was a dip there for a while, you know? 

Tom: Yeah, yeah. Like, I, I, I, I, I'm bemoaning, I miss New York. I miss, and it's not sex in the city anymore, but like, I miss the New York of it all. Where's the New York and the storytelling? 

Jonathan: Well, it's like they got rid of the sex and the city. That's why they can't call it that anymore.

It's, it has neither, it has a prude, prude or wifed up leads. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: And then no New York. 

Tom: Yeah. SEMA in the cab making out with a guy going down the streets of New York. That felt like old school sex and the city. Yeah. That felt like 

Jonathan: celebrating the city again. My God, if we hadn't been crawling toward that moment for episodes.

Yeah, episodes and episodes. They don't really know how to portray middle class people. It's like people either just like. Poor and dirty. Or like, is it middle? So who's middle class and sex in the city? Well, isn't that guy, like, he's got, he's like working class, right? Uh, yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. But he's like, like number one landscape designer.

I don't think he's even bad. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Is it, here's my question, and this is kinda goes to the ai, this of the whole [00:14:00] thing. Is he just the actor that, uh, uh, Kim Catrell dates for a while? Like, it, like, doesn't she kinda lum it with a, an actor at some point in the original series? 

Tom: Well, yeah. And then he explodes.

Jonathan: Okay. And becomes 

Tom: famous. Yeah. 

Jonathan: So it just feels like, it feels to me like another, uh, example of how the show is ai, it just took an old plot line that was a Samantha plot line, and we're like, we're not gonna use actor again. Oh, I know landscaper. Like, it's like, 

Tom: it was so sad to spend so much time at a karaoke party in a house with children.

Yeah. But 

Jonathan: also like, they're, they're like, what? Making fun of musical theater. They're making fun. Like, that kid is like, it's a joke. And it's like, he's a, he's good, he's talented and he knows, he's like, it's a, it's a fun moment, but also he's doing it as. It's like a bit like he's like was told to make it funny and make it like a joke and it's like, ah, but just it's a tough, tough, they, if, if they were going for like really getting the feeling of that moment across then success, they did do that.

It felt awkward. The whole episode felt like a [00:15:00] bad karaoke night. Just uncomfortable. Yeah. And I. I gotta say, if I can throw maybe like a, a, I don't know, a, a larger thesis out there, I fully believe the show is written by ai, but I think that what's happening now is it actually is kind of, it's proof that we are in a sim and that we are being written by lazy ai because I can't 

Tom: wait to hear 

Jonathan: this.

Listen, stay, stay with me. And I know it's kind of a beautiful mind here. I need a, I need a chart and I need a board with, with strings. Push pins, but if the original series, and we've talked about it, was this kind of like bellwether for the zeitgeist. It was like a mirror of the zeitgeist and also a tip of the spear was moving things forward and also reflecting back what society was at the time.

And it was like a big deal. The show was a big deal, and so that's why this reboot has been a big deal and it feels like it fell totally short of that. It feels like it's not doing any of that, except if you look at it and maybe, maybe what's happening is the current AI that's writing our sim. Did the same thing.

They took the algorithm of the original sex in the city and they were like, [00:16:00] okay, we're going to just mirror and push society in a direction. We're gonna take society as it is and try to move it forward in that direction. But when it puts that template on us right now, it's like, oh, they just bald faced lie.

They have wacky scenarios going on in their world. No one seems to think twice about anything. They just do shit, and let's just make a show like that. It feels like. Yeah. I actually kinda have to give it credit. It feels like it actually is the sex and the city for our current time. 

Tom: I mean, conspiracy, are you in a conspiracy theory about it?

Just like that at this point. 

Jonathan: Wow. I just think we, maybe we need some more conspiracy theories on here. We need to push We we're too good at like, vetting our facts and like citing our sources. I think we should just throw some shit out there. Just, yeah, and just, 

Tom: I, I, I, I want to give, throw them some flowers too.

'cause I feel like we're being mean. I did think that, um, Miranda thinking the party was about the dog dying was so funny. Um, they got some genuinely good humor outta that. And I thought that the Miranda carry fight at the end was pretty good and very like reminiscent of [00:17:00] old school carry Miranda fights.

Jonathan: No. What the, no, what the fuck was that Carry? Carrie, first of all, last week Carrie was like, Aiden, you can do whatever you want. I'm not, I'm waiting for you, but I'm also gonna do what I want in the meantime. And then this week Miranda was like, so what's that? And she was like, how fucking dare you? Like it was like she flipped into a different thing that was like, I think 

Tom: that was good writing actually.

I think that's how people behave with their friends. When your friends. Press the button when your friends call you on the thing. That's how you react. Okay. I thought, I thought that stuff was good and they had two like big, big fights in the original series, so it felt like old school. Like I love when Carrie and Miranda get into it, but it was nice 'cause now they're a little older so they like sort of like push their way through it before the, they left each other.

Jonathan: You have to push their way through it. Okay, great. Great. I mean, that, that, listen, I, I can hear you say that. I can hear you. You can have that. You're not buying it. I think that Carrie, uh, cannot move, cannot make a decision or do anything one way or another. And Miranda was like, oh, sorry. She's like, that would just stopped.

I, I did not think they pushed their way through it. No, they [00:18:00] pushed their way through. They 

Tom: didn't leave still in a fight. Okay. They, they, they smooth things over as friends before they walked away, which was a sign of maturity between two friends, I think. 

Jonathan: Yeah. I mean, I obviously Carrie is getting defensive because she's, uh, starting to, you know, feel things that maybe she didn't expect to feel first, uh, pipe smoking dunking, who also just like.

Like, of course he smokes a fucking pipe Last week he whipped up mutton for her when they couldn't go out to dinner. Yeah. He's like just, he's just like the uk. He's just like data points of the uk. Um, but yeah, she's defensive I guess because she, she's catching feelings for him. And cannot deal with that, I guess, right?

Is that what's happening? Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, sure. I don't know what's happening, bro. You're right. See, I, okay. I will give them, they can, I'll give them some flowers too. When friends disagree sometimes they just stop and say, fuck it. Let's just move on.

Tom: All 

Jonathan: current 

Tom: events. Current events, what? What's in your craw [00:19:00] this week? Is that the thing? 

Jonathan: In your craw? Yeah, I think so. I think it is. Didn't we do this? Did we? Yeah, I think, I think it's in your C craw, right? Okay. Yeah, it is now. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about what's in our craws. Show me your craw, bro. Yeah.

Where is it? It's if, if it's something in, it's like your craw. If you 

Tom: put your arms like this, it's like that. 

Jonathan: Yeah. That's the crawl. Whoa. Yes. Yes. Okay. That's your cross. Show me your cross. Um, okay. I think that we have plenty to get to. So, real quick, I just wanna give a quick shout out to, uh, Ken and Angela Paxton, uh, the Power Couple in Texas, who, uh, she is divorcing him on biblical grounds because he a cheater, but they are the.

Poster children, if you don't know the Paxton's, they are the, the, the spokespeople and sponsors. The poster children of traditional family values. They are anti-gay. They are, they are, they are a hate couple. They are a, they, they spearhead a hate group. They are a hate couple. [00:20:00] Their whole platform is traditional family values like heterosexual.

Um. A, a, whatever, all the shit that goes into that. And then now they are getting divorced because he a cheater. Yeah. He, uh, a big time cheater. And she, this is my favorite part, is that she is, uh, filing divorce on biblical grounds. Mm. Which is not a thing. Um, it's, it, there's, it's not a thing. There's, there's no place in the Bible for a woman to leave her husband because he cheated on her.

Sorry. Uh, I guess maybe you're saying like spiritual grounds, like cheating is, cheating is an irreconcilable. I don't know. I don't know what they're saying. I know, man, I just know that their marriage fell apart. I don't know much about the Bible. Um, no, I mean, neither do they. Uh, they've got some, some takes on it.

Some, some what they have is very strong takes, but they're full of shit. And it's just a good, like, I don't know, it it, it's not gonna change anything because nobody seems to, uh, have the. The certainly no one, like in a, in a MAGA side of things [00:21:00] has the, the self-awareness and the, the insight to realize what hypocrites are leading their cause and, and how insane it is to be so on board with these things.

But at least in the moment, uh, it's fun to see. Someone who has spent their whole career, who's made a career, who's, who's made a thriving career out of keeping other people from having equal rights, uh, now not even be able to hold onto their, uh, their own marriage. 

Tom: Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree, man. Um, I wanted to talk about the Epstein files this week.

Yeah. Be, uh, I'm taking so much pleasure, sh shot in fraud. Am I saying it right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, in this whole thing, I mean, I don't wanna count my chickens before they hatch. I know, but it does feel like something is breaking a little bit in the MAGA coalition, which is really just fucking delicious to watch you fucking idiots.

He has been friends with this guy for, since the early eighties, I think. Yeah. And there, [00:22:00] there, there's pictures going back 40 years of the two of them together. Donald Trump has been quoted, uh, live, I mean quoted, live quoted on video, I think saying, um, how they both like young girls. Yeah. It's like, uh, it's so insane that this is new information to these people.

Yeah. But it's really fun watching the foundation start to crack. Um, and it's insane what's happening. Yeah. Over the past week with this like, uh, footage, I guess they released footage of the jail cell. 

Jonathan: So they said it was raw footage. They said it was the raw security camera footage, and then the metadata immediately showed that it had been run through Adobe Premiere, bro.

Yeah. Yeah. And had been cut that it was at least two clips put together. Like that took No, that took zero time. That's a, that, that's, that's why like, it's not even like good, bad guys. It's just like dummies. It's like dummies cheating in class and mean like you clearly cheated. Yeah. This is not even, this doesn't take work.

It is, it is. I will say the most. Uh, empathy I felt toward the Trump administration ever Uhhuh, because I also have a lot of trouble with Premier Pro, so I get it. [00:23:00] Like I understand that Premier Pro's a tough program. It's an issue. 

Tom: My favorite is the clips of, uh, Pam Bondi, the Attorney General, trying to explain those two minutes and like, just like talking herself into a total circle.

Oh, and saying how like the, those two minutes are missing from the footage every. 

Jonathan: Well, shit, I, I, I would not, I mean, I would feel bad if it were not such a soulless person, but boy oh boy. Talk about show in Florida. It is fun to watch her Yeah. Wiggle and r up there because, yeah, because also, like the list, right?

The list exists, but it's on her desk. It's sitting on her desk ready to be shown. Except for then it doesn't exist, except Totally it does, but it was written by Obama, but it doesn't exist. It's not real, like it's, it's insane, bad lying, not even taking the time to try to make it a good lie. 

Tom: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, go ahead.

And then Trump trying to deflect on, like, I think he got quoted in an interview and he's like, why are we still talking about Epstein? There's nothing. Yeah. And thinking it's gonna work. 

Jonathan: Yeah. It's fascinating. Yeah. So good. And I think that this is one of those things, like, you know, [00:24:00] this, there's a quote that runs around from back in the day where Donald Trump said, uh, if he was ever gonna run for office, he would run as a Republican.

'cause, like they'll buy anything, whatever. And that, that quote has been debunked, I believe. I believe that Snopes or whoever does it now, has said that's not actually a real quote. But I think that it is very clear and becoming more and more clear. The more that happens and the more you pay attention to, he has fucking zero respect for the people who support him.

Yeah. He, he expects the maga faithful to be morons. Yeah. He's like, I can say whatever I want. And it's nice to make. It's, it's a little bit, it's a little day late and dollar short to see this is what it takes. 'cause like. The dude has been sexually inappropriate with women and girls for as long as he's been famous.

Yeah. Uh, but if this is what it takes for the people to realize, like, oh, he's just a fucking liar, and he has no respect for your intelligence, and he does not think that you can figure this out. 

Tom: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, you've heard me say this before, but I've been waiting for a chance on the podcast to say my theory that there are three reasons why people vote for Donald Trump.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. [00:25:00] They're, they're either stupid, um, or they're greedy. Or they're racist. Yeah. Or a combination of one, two, or three of those things. Yeah. There is literally no other logical reason in the history of the world to vote for Donald Trump. You're either an idiot, you're racist, or you're greedy. 

Jonathan: Yeah.

Or any combination of those three. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I, I think the one little silver lining I can take from all of this is like. For this to be a surprise to anyone, like you just said, you have to be one of those three things, and for anyone who doesn't see that, what that means to me is that nobody read. The art of the deal.

Yeah. And, and to me that's like kind of poetic justice because it's gotta hurt such a narcissist, such a thin skinned, like little tiny weak narcissist like Donald Trump to know that fucking no one read his book. Because if you did read that book, you would realize he's an idiot who can't get deals done.

And he lies all the time. It's nothing. It, like, I read that book and I even did, did you really? [00:26:00] Yeah. Wow. Back in 16. I was like, all right, he is got a book. Let's see what this is about. And then I, I actually didn't finish it. I got like three quarters of the way down. I was like, this is. A child writing.

Yeah. This is a, it's a, and it's a ghost writer writing, trying to write in Trump's voice. So it's like even more, it has more semblance than it would if it were just him. And it's still, all it is is name dropping and there's no, there's no describing deals. There's just telling the deals. He lays out like a six point kind of thing that he uses and then never goes back to it.

And just like talks about deals that he made and then didn't make. Yeah. And then like famous people he met and like, it's just, it's. It's garbage and it shows what a nothing real estate person, uh, whatever he is, it shows what a nothing kind of like business person he is. It shows you, anyone who's surprised by anything happening right now did not read that book.

And to me there is a silver lining there because he has to realize nobody read his. That must, that must hurt him. Ghost 

Tom: written. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah. I didn't read his book, but I did [00:27:00] read a very well researched and, uh, well-written article in the Times about the book when he was first running. So. That's what I got.

Don't judge, don't judge. I didn't read it. No, no. I mean, don't, 

Jonathan: don't look, don't. It's a coloring book. Yeah. It's, it's garbage. Yeah. But also like do for fun. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: It's an easy read. It's an easy bere, you know, if you're back on the island, somebody, if you're at in the Hamptons at some point back in Shelter Island.

Tom: Yeah. Love. Um, I, I wanted to give a little shout out. So, um, Jonathan knows, but, uh. That I have been a big fan of the Pivot podcast for a long time. Yeah. Uh, co-hosted by Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway. I turned you onto it. I turned Yes, you did. My fiance onto it. Your wife onto it. Many friends. It was recommended to me by a friend.

Um, I, I don't think there's anyone I've ever told to listen to it, who hasn't kept listening to it. It's a great podcast. Yeah. It's one of the, it comes out twice a week. If, if you only listen to that podcast, you would be a very smart, well informed person. Um. They both have really, uh, excellent viewpoints on the world.

They talk eloquently about [00:28:00] all facets of our world. Uh, and they both have also individual podcasts that I, I listened to all their podcasts. I'm huge fans. Yeah. Scott has a podcast called the Prof G Podcast, and this past weekend he had Heather Cox Richardson on. Um, she's an American historian. I first came across her on Kara's podcast.

Uh. On, on with Kara Swisher. Mm-hmm. She interviews someone new every week. Uh, and this was maybe like a year ago, a year or two ago. Um, and she's so smart. This woman talks so eloquently about, uh, the history of the United States and what we're currently going through, and she draws on our past and uses examples from our past to, uh, point.

About where we may be going or what, what, what could be at stake. Um, she puts out a substack every day, an essay, um, about current events, and then drawing on the past, just like I'm explaining. And it, I, I really recommend people sign up. It's free. There's no charge. Look up, uh, letters from an American by, uh.

Heather Cox, rich Richardson. Cox is spelled COX, uh, [00:29:00] on Substack. You can sign up for it. You get a daily email and it's an essay. You have to read an essay. You have to man up. You have to be an adult and fucking read an essay a day. I don't care if you have kids. I don't care if you have a full-time job.

Everybody has time to read a little essay. Essays are, um, good for us. Read your fucking essays. Heather Cox Richardson is a, a really amazing person and, and the best thing about her is she actually gives me hope. She, she, she's not shy about, um. About pointing out what's at stake and what could happen and where the dangers are.

But she has a lot of hope about where we could be going. And, uh, this on the podcast with Scott, she pointed to past times in our history where we were in moments as dark as we are in now, and we came out all the better for it. And it really lightened my mood this weekend. And, um, I, I would recommend people listen to the Pro G Podcast, the interview with Heather Cox Richardson.

Great. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Great plug. Um, thanks, man. Yeah, and I, I, I, a couple of friends of mine who are political scientists, a friend of mine who's a political scientist, a political science professor, same kind of thing, like, [00:30:00] like is aware and able to say that a lot of this is bonkers, but she's not losing her mind because she understands the history of politics in America.

And she understands, like we've, we've done a lot of this before. Yeah. We've been in crazy places before. We've been in bad places before. And we can get through it. We just have to fucking. Nut up and get through it. We have to pay attention. We have to be active in society, and we have to recognize what's 

Tom: happening and call out what's happening in order to get through it though.

And 

Jonathan: it is an uphill battle. I mean, I get it not to, not to go back to any kind of like we're in a sim conspiracy theories, but like it, we are in a tough uphill battle because everything around us is being, we are being. We are being high aggressively encouraged to sit still and eat garbage and just ingest and just like, yeah.

Get a dopamine fix without paying attention to any of it. Yeah. So it's like I under You do have to work against that right now to pay attention. Yeah, but if you don't work against it and you don't pay attention, the whole thing's gonna go to shit. So we should probably check in. And you have to 

Tom: actively work.

What, what is it called? BRE and circus from the Romans? Is that what they called it? Um, uh, 

Jonathan: I [00:31:00] don't know. I don't, I don't dunno my history very well. I'm over here talking about how we should know history and I don't, I don't know. I don't know. 

Tom: Uh, it was like a famous Oh, man. Bread. Yeah. Bread and circuses.

Great. It was like a, it was like a Roman thing. Uh, they gave the people, they made sure they could eat and they gave them, um, yeah. That they gave them the gladiators. Yeah. They gave them, they gave them circus to watch. Yeah. And then they didn't pay attention to what they were doing behind the racks. Yeah.

Um, and there's a lot of that going on. 

Jonathan: Yeah, absolutely. There is. 

Tom: Here we've come to the heart of the podcast. All right. Yeah. We're we're, we're gonna name this section. Do you want to, do you wanna share the new name, we think, 

Jonathan: for work shopping? Sure. Um, well, so we started with Bro Therapy, right? That's what we tried last week.

Yeah. But we're, we're work shopping vulnerable bros. Vulnerable bros. Vulnerable bros. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Tom: I'm, I'm, I'm practicing. Okay. 

Jonathan: I thought you were correcting how I was saying No, I didn't mean to correct. I'm sorry. No, no, no. You came up with it. Vulnerable bros. Vulnerable bros. I think I love it. I think, I don't know.

Yeah. All right, great. We're, we're gonna 

Tom: be vulnerable. 

Jonathan: Yeah. We're gonna work on being vulnerable. We're gonna, you sound so excited. We're gonna be [00:32:00] vulnerable. We're going to, we're going to open up. And, um, I, we discussed getting into this and how, how we could, but here's something I wanna say. Um. As we looked at this section last week, kind of started this as a new part of it last week.

Um, when we tried it last week, you had a story like we, when we worked on it ahead of time, kind of like, it was like your story and then I had a thing I was gonna say. And to be honest, when we got into it, I was like, my head was in the outline and my head was in like making sure our timing was right and making sure like we got to the points and stuff.

And in that, I. Fully bulldozed through your story and I want to apologize for that. I'm sorry for not giving it like the time. Thanks man. That it could like, that should, that it needs, um, because like we're kind of talking about like anger and you had that little bulldog of a man with his little bulldog of a bulldog.

Yeah. And that whole thing that happened and kind of like the anger piece is what I was like, you know, focusing on, but I unintentionally fully skipped the part where there's like. An undeniable, what? I don't know, [00:33:00] spiritual. Something like a a la Like literally You said that the words that you thought in yoga class.

Yeah. Then days later he said those words, like that's Yes. What do you think? That is, what is your connection to spirituality? What is 

Tom: I, I, I, I, I don't know, but it was, um, I, I, I got, I get chills every time I tell the story and I get chills. What? I got chills when it happened. Um, it was one, it was like, um, you know, sometimes in a movie, like the camera gets weird in a moment or something.

It was like the, or something like the worlds. Collapsed in on us when he was saying those words to me. It was, it was, yeah, it was something. Um, and it made me think to myself, 'cause you'll remember part of the story was I was scared to try yoga. It made me think, okay, I need to keep doing yoga. This is a sign.

And I did. Um, I don't do it as much anymore, but, uh, I love it when I do it. And I did it hardcore for three years after that event. Um. I would say that I'm a pretty spiritual person. Yeah. Um, I, um, so I [00:34:00] grew up, uh, in the northeast. I grew up in Connecticut, uh, middle class, lower middle class, um, Catholic.

Both my parents were Catholic. I was raised Catholic. Um, I went to a Catholic church until third grade. Um, me and my sister and, um. I, uh, liked religion when I was young. I liked it. Yeah. I liked the pageantry of it. I loved the stories. I love stories in general. Sure. Um, so I loved all the stories and the characters and, um, I loved hearing about it all.

And, um, yeah, I, I, I was into it. We went to church every weekend. I wouldn't say my family was like super hardcore. Yeah. Um, but, but it was something that like we were doing 

Jonathan: were you as it. Catholics had confirmed. Right. Were you confirmed? Is that Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. So I, I went through confirmation in Catholic school.

Okay. Um, when I got into third grade, a teacher said to my parents, um, your son, uh, is like smart and there might be more opportunities for him in the public school [00:35:00] system. So my parents moved us to the public school system. Oh, wow. Okay. Which ended up being a really good thing. It was traumatic at first.

Um, yeah. Not so much for my sister. She was beautiful and popular and, uh, she, she hit the ground running. Uh, elementary school, uh, public school was rough for me at first. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, and then, um, we kept doing C, c, D and so we got confirmed in high school. Okay. 

Jonathan: Um, 

Tom: but I lost my, any respect for the church? Um.

When I was, uh, about 13, 12 13, we were getting ready to be confirmed. So it was our monthly, weekly, uh, CCD classes, and we had, they were being taught by what they called a brother. Um, I had never heard this term before, but a brother is like a young man in training to be a priest, like in his twenties. Okay, 

Jonathan: so, 

Tom: so they bust these brothers in to teach us.

Okay. And, um, we were learning about like the different types of sin. And so basically there's like a certain type of sin that you can commit. And then as long as you go to confession and confess it, if you die, you'll be fine. It won't be on your, sure won't be on your ledger, but there are certain sins that if you.

[00:36:00] Commit. It doesn't even matter if you go to confession, you're going to hell. 

Jonathan: Seems convenient. Yeah, sure. Yeah. 

Tom: So, um, we were learning about contraception. Sure, sure. And, um, basically about how that was one of the sins that you cannot be forgiven for. And, um, my father, uh, had whatever, uh. The surgery is to the, um, vasectomy.

Vasectomy. Mm-hmm. To not have more kids after my sister and I, again, lower middle class two kids was more than enough. 

Jonathan: Yeah, yeah. 

Tom: Um, and it was a smart, responsible, intelligent decision by smart people. And, um, I asked in the class the brother about it and he said, yeah, that's. Your dad's gonna go to hell and it gets to a 13-year-old.

And in that moment I was like, I am done. I'm done. This is, and also I was obviously I was gay, I was in the closet. I was struggling with that. Internally. I was hearing about how horrible that was, that I was gonna go to hell. Yeah. And I was fretting about that for a long time. But that all that fretting went away and that instinct, 'cause I knew that that guy was an asshole.

That's. 

Jonathan: Honestly, I'm impressed that you were like, like religion can [00:37:00] get its claws into you, right? Yeah. It can really get the, get the talents in. And you didn't question your dad at all. You weren't worried that, oh no, he actually is gonna hell, you went, oh, this is bullshit. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great, man.

I mean, that's, that's hard. Like with all that indoctrination, with all of that kind of like. Pushing all of that. It's, it's easy to get wrapped up in that and then worry about, take that as truth. And so then, you know, like the, the chance is really there to walk away and be like, oh no, my dad is gonna go to hell.

Like, I, yeah, that's so, I mean, honestly, good for you for having the, the awareness and the. The fortitude to say no. I, I This is bullshit. Thanks. I, I, I also grew up in the church and I, we were like, I mean, I was like a, a, an all star in church. I was, it was, it was Southern Baptist, um, so like different than Catholics, but like not that much.

There's a lot of pageantry. There's a lot of dogma. Uhhuh, there's a lot. Is there confession? No, there's no confession. That's one of the big things, and that's why we feel like we are better Christians than Catholics. Um, 'cause we don't have that step. But it's also like it. It. I don't think that I, it, [00:38:00] as soon as I got out of my hometown and got out of my church was really the first time I realized like, oh, like there is a lot more to see.

Like there's a lot more to understand. There's a lot more to, I thought of myself as pretty worldly. I was doing theater, you know, I, but I was like, this is college. This is after college. No, in, even in like, uh, even like in high school when I was like, I thought of myself as like. It within the context of my, the city I grew up in and the church I grew up in.

I was a progressive thinking kid, you know, like I, I was a theater kid and I like had some, some edgy thoughts, but it was still, I realized like still very much within the, the. Parameter of Southern Baptist Con c Christian thinking, and I was like a dick about it too. I realized, like I'm embarrassed looking back on it and some of the conversations I would have with like, like I had Jewish friends and I just, like, when I was in high school, I remember having a, a debate with the, the mother of a couple of my friends and like.

Fully believing that she's just wrong and that she and her family are like gonna go to hell and seem okay with that. And like, [00:39:00] and I'm just like, why? Like how can you, why can you do one of these books and then not the other one? Like, you're, you missed the main part. Why are you guys choosing to miss the main part?

And like, it like, was in me. Like I, I felt that and then I got out and was, it really took some space for me. It took, it took it into college and like just getting it to see a little bit more of the world and, and have a, that separation too. For myself to think and be like, oh, that's embarrassing. I was like, locked in there hard.

And, and now it's like, it gets even, I don't know, easier and easier to step away because it's just my, the thing I, I kind of struggle with, I guess, is how much of it has gotten worse and how much of it has always been this way, and I've just gotten further away from it because yeah, Christianity these days is like loud Christianity.

Is, is, I mean, it's a, it's a. Fundamentalism, basically. I mean, it's gone, it's gone to the, it's an extreme religion in America. The, the Evangelical, which is like what I grew up, basically what I grew up as evangelical Christianity. The, the loud part of it that we hear about all the time is not at all what I [00:40:00] thought that it was.

And it's mean and it's bad. Yeah. And it's, it's, it's politically intertwined, which is the whole thing that was never supposed to be, and it's like all this 

Tom: stuff, it's the driving force behind a lot of cruelty in our world. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. It, it's really hard to, to reconcile that. What was, what 

Tom: was the moment that you, um, pulled away?

Was there a moment? 

Jonathan: Well, for a long time I would say things like, like I, even as an adult, like even in the past decade, really, I, I would say things like, I'm a Christian still because I don't blame Jesus for the shit that's happening now. Like people. Took that for a long time. I was like, I'm gonna keep this thing.

I like the, I like this thing, but people have really ruined it. People have weaponized it. People have made it an excuse to be cruel. Yeah. Um, and so I, but I don't need to blame, you know, God or Jesus for that. And the, the more and more that I get into it, the, like, the further that it went, I, I, I don't think there was an exact like moment, although dating a Jew was probably a big part of that.

Like, uh, [00:41:00] like getting to like be more and more serious with my wife. Um. Was just kind of like, it didn't really change much about my, my life perspective, and it didn't change much about the way that I did things. It just was like a, you know what, like what does it, the, the, the spirituality, the ability, like the, the fact that they are, whatever it is in this world, uh, whether it's the sim that's writing us or whether it's like whatever spiritual connection that's out there that can make you.

Put words into a man's head, you know, whatever, whatever wavelengths are out there that are happening. Then connecting like Christianity, in my opinion, short changes, a lot of that falls like way short. It makes it one thing and it can only be this one thing. And to me, like it's so beautiful to open up and be like, I don't know, man.

Like, yeah. It seems like, dude, I, 

Tom: I've found way more love, fellowship and community at 3:00 AM on a dance floor Sure. Than I ever, ever found in the Catholic church. Sure. Ever. 

Jonathan: The adherence to dogma in, [00:42:00] in organized religion is like, and that's, that's the thing that I don't know, makes it hard to buy into any of it, because Yeah.

It just becomes so elitist and so judgmental and so cruel, so quickly as opposed to just being able to connect with people. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's not, we're not gonna, we're not gonna solve this thing in 10 minutes, but that, you know, stay tuned to next week on Vulnerable bros. Vulnerable bros. You know what it's time for?

I do. Who would you fight? Who would you fight? Pow, pow. Am I correct in saying that you had someone tell you that they sing, that they sing along with that, that they, they sing along? Listen, I like it. It's a jingle. It's a, it's a, I've, 

Tom: I've, I've always had a gift with melody. I don't know what to say.

Jonathan: Who would you fight this week? Uh, okay. Um, I, I, I would fight. The people at, uh, Teespring, which is a t-shirt platform that I started on when I started trying to make these, these bad boys. Yep. Paint, nails, punch [00:43:00] Nazis. Uh, in February I started this, uh, the platform, uh, with my friend Brie, who will just give a shout out to, uh, who helps me out, but Teespring owes me like $3,000.

They owe, they owe. 300 people shirts and they owe me thousands of dollars. And it, like, we had a good thing going and we donated all the profits to, to charitable causes, to small charitable causes that we can like, that can actually feel the effect and like, you know, can actually help. Yeah. And so it was, I, I was excited about this and it was like, I was really jazzed up and out of the gate.

We sold like 400 shirts in a two weeks and it was like, this is awesome. Like this is the thing that's gonna, we can, we we're gonna have money to donate and they're. Fucking fraudster con of a platform. So, and I also think that might all be bots. So I would, I have to fight bots. I gotta figure out how to, like tron myself into fighting bots.

But I wanna fight. Do you dump 

Tom: like a better business bureau kind of thing or? Yeah, we just, 

Jonathan: we just like, the Better Business Bureau just got back to us saying, uh, yep. No one responded so officially it is, it is closed. They are a bad business. They have a, whatever, low [00:44:00] grade, we will now like. Officially say that, but there's nothing else that can happen.

Like, they just say like, oh yeah, that's a bad business. Like, and we'll just keep, could you take them 

Tom: to small claims court or Yeah, 

Jonathan: yeah, eventually. I mean, that's like tough, you know? Yeah. I'd rather just, I'd rather just fight them all. But, um, but yeah, we'll keep, we'll keep pushing. So, so, um. Real quick. We got some great advice.

I got great advice on pillows. I got some great advice for editing. Pe uh, people reached out and gave me some good advice for, uh, how to work with Premier Pro. Not anyone from the Trump administration, but other people reached out. And so let me say this. If there's anyone out there, uh, of a legal mind who can help with this Teespring nonsense, give us a shout.

I'd be happy to, to, to, for you. I'd be happy to take your help. The po I would fight the po. The Pod 

Tom: Needs Council. 

Jonathan: The Pod Needs Council. Yeah. Um, anyway, I would fight the entirety of the company, Teespring. Who would you fight? People who say, I love that for you. 

Tom: I'm over it. I am over it. It's over people.

It's over. It's, and it's just mean, it's, people say it so meanly now and, and it's that thing [00:45:00] of like, they, people think they're being so clever when they said it. You didn't make up the fucking joke. It's done. It's not your joke and you're not witty by using it. You're not witty using a joke that everybody's using.

Jonathan: Is it fair to say that that, and I stand behind all of these that you've, that you've had. And I, I don't have them ready to go. I don't have them right here. But is it fair to say that like all or most of yours have been phrases that at one point like had some bite and now they're just garbage phrases that Yeah, that's like, you hate that.

You hate that so 

Tom: much. I hate when people run things into the ground and. And I, I just think I love that for you is just when someone says things that a friend sends that to me on a text when they're trying to be funny. I just think it's like nasty and, um, so uncreative and like stupid. Like, stop, don't send me that.

Do better. Like make fun of me. Go ahead, make fun of me, but do better. 

Jonathan: Is it okay to say do better? All right. We can still do that one. Wow. Wow. Show us your 

Tom: crock. Can you show us your crock? Sure. Woof. 

Jonathan: Do better. [00:46:00] I love this for you. I love this for you. All right. That's the pod. 

Tom: Uh, I stumbled last week. You wanna read us out?

Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to like and subscribe to No Homo with Jonathan and Tom on all podcast platforms and YouTube graphics and music by Matt Latner. And special thanks to Jen Dornbach, Quan Williams and Forrest Malloy. The opinions expressed on this podcast are solely those of the posts and are intended for entertainment purposes only.

Jonathan: You're a profession, man. Nice work. That sounds so good. Um, all right. I guess that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Love you. Okay. I love you. Bye. Bye.